DAN’S PAPERS
Page 26 April 19, 2013
danshamptons.com
Fly (Cont’d from previous page) They’re too heavy. And yet, every time, the pilots drive them down to the end of the runway, and they rev up these big engines on the wings until they are screaming at the top of their lungs, struggling and straining at the very limit of their strength, and then the pilot shifts into first gear and off the plane goes, rumbling down the runway, which is more than a mile long, going faster and faster and faster—you can see
things going by out the window—until the force of it pins you back into your seat, and then they go still faster and faster until, just by the concentrated and combined prayers and mental gymnastics of the pilot and the co-pilot and the crew and all the passengers, this very heavy metal thing somehow gets its front wheels up, and then the whole thing up. Indeed it IS a miracle, actually levitating over the runway with all its wheels off the ground somehow, at which point its engines, somehow aware of this fact, now rush it even faster and faster and faster until with the greatest effort imaginable, with all the rivets and wires and struts groaning and creaking, it is actually FLYING, flying up into the clouds. Amazing! This goes against every law of nature I know. Each time they do this, they roll the dice. They’ve warned you about the wings, the doors, the lights, the air, the water, the ground, the engines, the gasoline—no, they don’t talk about whether they have enough gasoline (another scandal)—the ducks, the exit doors, everything, except, well, the batteries, but who cares about the batteries at that point, with all the other problems? There you are. And how are you supposed to get down? Let’s get these airplanes grounded. Now. Before somebody gets hurt.
Who knew these things needed batteries to fly?
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