Dan's Papers Mar. 25, 2011
Dan's Papers, the 51-year-old bible of the Hamptons, is owned by Manhattan Media, a multi-media publishing company based in New York City, the Hamptons and Miami. Dan's Papers, the first resort newspaper in America, was founded in 1960 by Dan Rattiner, who is the founder and current editor-in-chief. Known for its insider and irreverent style, Dan's Papers has become the universal must-read in the Hamptons. In addition to the weekly paper, loyal Dan's readers can keep up with the Hamptons scene all-year-round at DansHamptons.com.
OPEN HOUSES THIS WEEKEND AMAGANSETT Great investment potential in this SOH home nestled between the ocean & town. Set back from highly coveted Meeting House Lane are 6BRs, 5B, renovated kitchen & separate DR. Excl. Web#H39458. ONE-OF-A-KIND OPPORTUNITY. 5,500sf. Europeanstyle villa on 4 hilltop acres w/ sweeping views over 3Mile Harbor. 5BRs, 5.5B. 2 adjacent lots w/ guest homes totaling 6.3 acres can be purchased to create 10.5 acre waterview compound. Web# H0147916. Secluded North Haven setting, just a few minutes drive into the Village of Sag Harbor. Bright home w/ 5BR, 5B, powder room, open EIK with s/s appliances and granite counter tops. Excl. Web#H49982. Newly renovated 4BR, 3B ranch sits on a high lot & features LR w/fplc, large kit. & dining area. Sep. entrance for one bedroom & bath. Room for pool. Excl. Web#H38109. BRIDGEHAMPTON New construction, to be built. Come walk the properties. $3,995,000 LAND ONLY. Web#H14017. Fabulous Waterviews! Endless possibilities with opportunity to sub-divide this 4 acre rolling terrain lot w/ 4BR home, across from town & Halsey Marina. Compound opportunity w/ adjoining 2.5 acre lot / cottage or 4 acre lot with waterview chateau. Web# H14429. Newly renovated 3BR, 2B, 2-story home located a few yards from Havens Beach w/ spacious yard and room for pool. Brand new baths and modern EIK make this turn key! Excl. Web#H28343. 5,000sf. renovated 19th century wood milling factory, home of the former "Red Barn Atelier" artist's enclave. 5BRs, 4B, pool, 2 fplcs, stained-glass ceiling arboretum, Japanese & Moroccan-style bedroom suites, and tranquil courtyard w/ fountain. Web# 99126. Waterfront 7,000sf., 6BR, home on 1.35 landscaped acres w/ pool, jacuzzi & waterwall. Features patios, decks spectacular views w/ 200ft frontage on Kellis Pond w/ dock, 3 fireplaces, elevator, lodge great room and prof bar. Web#H0155997. Owner/artist of modern home across from Hands Creek Harbor will include $100K worth of art with this light-filled home w/ 3BRs plus loft & partially fin. lower level leads to gunite pool on 2/3rd acre.Surrounded by million dollar homes. Web#H14967 Totally renovated home offers 3BR, 3B, wide plank & tile floors, fplc, CAC, brand new kitchen and fin. bsmt Outside is ample decking, wonderful landscaping & room for pool. Excl. Web#H29925. WATER MILL Classic traditional home overlooks Mecox Bay with waterfront & waterviews of the bay. Just a couple hundred yards to Flying Point Beach. Excl. Web#H29839. EAST QUOGUE Single-level rustic modern w/ every amenity possible crafted by published designer. Double master BRs 4BR, 4B, gunite pool/spa, spacious living quarters w/ large screen tvs and satellite radio throughout. Blue-Chip rental history & low taxes. Set on landscaped acre w/ multi-acre neighbors. Web#H10170 Curto & Curto new post modern, available furnished! 4,500sf. home w/ 5BR, 5.5 marble baths on 1.4 acres. Floor to ceiling wainscoting entry foyer, 2 car garage, 18x44ft. gunite pool, custom kitchen w/ s/s appliances, granite counters, FDR, full bsmt, 1st & 2nd floor master suites. Prof. landscaping. Web#H0157052. Large, well maintained ranch located in one of the premier private beach communities in Sag Harbor Village. This 1980's home is on .23 acres, close to the pristine white sandy beach that overlooks Shelter Island. With 3BRs, 2.5B and a FDR. Excl. Web#H18564. Eloquently designed 8,500sf. home set by Mecox Bay and ocean beaches features 8 bedrooms with 4 fireplaces, tasteful floor plan, double height ceilings. 4 room pool house, lush gardens, gunite pool and Jacuzzi. Web#H41499. Beautiful Northampton Colony home close to bay beaches, Clam Island Park & minutes from Sag Harbor Village & ocean beaches. This 2-story home features 3BR, 2B, LR w/ fplc, EIK. Excl. Web#H40732. Renovated farmhouse on a hill in the best near-north location in Water Mill, convenient to Jitney & ocean beaches. The 1.4 acre parcel has a sweeping lawn, circular drive & room for tennis. Carrera marble kitchen, 4BR, 3 new marble baths. Excl. Web#H0131741. Newly renovated classic 2BR cottage on shy acre remarkably close to BH Village. Deep lot w/ extraordinary foliage, possibilities for significant expansion or your newly conceived dream house. Room for pool & gardens. Web#H54993. MONTAUK SAGAPONACK The Panoramic View. Hilltop unit #3. Incredible ocean views from this 2BR, 2.5B oceanfront duplex. Soaring great room, kitchen & dining area open to deck w/ private hot tub & BBQ. Concierge service, fitness center, pool & cabana. Co-Excl. Web#H34346. Well located 4BR home on 1+ open acres in multi-million dollar area w/ new Farrell Homes on street. Htd pool, water slide, basketball court and lush lawn. Near ocean & town. Web#H42639. Incredible sunsets over reserve from 4BR, 3B traditional on private acre, only 2,500ft. to the village. Wraparound decks, 44ft. gunite pool, AC, whole-house generator, wi-fi & lush landscaping Web#H0247949 SAG HARBOR 10,000sf. home w/ the look and feel of a W Hotel.5BRs plus massive 1st floor & fin. lower level give the feel of a sleek hotel w/ gunite pool, spa & tennis. Web#11598. Circa 1810, updated 1970 while maintaining the home's character with 3BR, 2B. Plus inground pool and seperate artist's studio backs up to preserve. Excl. Web#H42423. SOUTHAMPTON Set on over a third of an acre in the heart of SHV. Features 3BR, 3B, great room w/ fplc, FDR and fin. bsmt w/full bath. Htd gunite pool, patio, private backyard & attached 2-car garage. Co-Excl. Web#H37526. Traditional 2-story with open contemporary living room, wood burning fplc, chef's kit. w/ granite countes & breakfast bar opens to the family room. Excl. Web#H36344. EAST HAMPTON Beautiful nearly-new waterfront traditional in mint condition. Spacious 2,280sf., 3 ensuite BRs, plus another half bath. Excl. Web#H27636. Ready to sell! This very unique completely renovated barn was custom renovated to the most discerning taste. Come see for yourself.Excl. Web#H44347. Why spend $20 Million for oceanfront when you can own breathtaking waterview near Bridge Golf with pool and tennis for $6.7 Million? 6BRs, 6B and 210 degree panoramic ground floor waterviews. 7,000sf. Farrell designed home. Web#H21591. UNIQUE COMMERCIAL PROPERTY FOR SALE. Ideal for prof. office or retail users in SHV. This 1,035sf. free-standing, 1-story building is in move-in condition & available immediately. Priced to sell. F#73749 EXPERIENCE IT FOR YOURSELF AT THE NEW ELLIMAN.COM/OPENHOUSES MANHATTAN LONG ISLAND THE HAMPTONS 1436 �2011. An independently owned and operated member of Prudential Real Estate Affiliates, Inc. is a service mark of Prudential Insurance Company of America. Equal Housing Opportunity. All material presented herein is intended for information purposes only. While, this information is believed to be correct, it is represented subject to errors, omissions, changes or withdrawal without notice. All property outlines and square footage in property listings are approximate. Dan's Papers March 25, 2011 danspapers.com Page 4 East End Dealer in Gold, Silver & Rare Coins Since 1982 coin Rare Hampton Bays TABLE OF CONTENTS VOLUME XLVIIII NUMBER 1 MARCH 25, 2011 TOP PRICES PAID FOR GOLD AND SILVER F E A T U R 744 11 13 13 17 17 21 23 24 25 27 Legs by Dan Rattiner A Festival by Dan Rattiner An Aroused Public by Dan Rattiner In and Out by Dan Rattiner The Biggest Moon by Dan Rattiner Southampton Hospital to College by T.J. Clemente Water Shuttles by Elise D'Haene William A. Berkoski Obituary The Guldi Story by David Lion Rattiner Who's Here: Carl Safina by Elise D'Haene 516.314.6324 1846 firstname.lastname@example.org MAIN STREET OPTICS Dr. Robert Ruggiero Exams � Contacts � Emergency Service Most Extensive Selection Including Cartier � Chrome Hearts � Oliver Peoples E S � Open 7 Days Year Round � 82 Main St. Southampton � 631�287�7898 631-287-6080 CALL CAROL OR BILL DUFFY FOR A FREE ESTIMATE COLUMNS 28 18 12 Hamptons Subway Green Monkeys South O' the Highway 32 26 29 Photo Page Sheltered Islander 20something www.EastEndAwning.com Custom door and window awnings Residential and commercial 1296 NORTH FORK LIFESTYLE SUMMER CAMPS 33 34 35 36 38 North Fork Events Shop `til you Drop Toddlers Know Root, Root, Root Secret Tips 40 41 42 Art Farm Surf's Up Frozen S'more East End Tick & Mosquito Control Bo t an i ca l S o l u t i Southampton East Hampton Southold 287- 9700 324- 9700 765- 9700 1869 �Ronald J. Krowne Photography 2008 www.tickcontrol.com on s HOUSE & HOME A&E DINING 43 48 48 31 45 44 50 65 65 Gardening Art Commentary Honoring the Artist Review: Gurney's Inn Simple Art of Cooking Kids Events Art Events Letters to Dan Police Blotter 49 Shows Opening 46 47 50 64 65 74 Sidedish Dining Out Movies Day by Day Service Directory Classifieds BEST BEST OF THE EVENT CALENDARS AND MORE... Beautiful Custom Drapery! CE RS! 26 YEA Check us Out on: Facebook TING LEBRA B IG REBATES G GOING ON NOW! WWW .FLICKR .COM /PHOTOS / WINDOWSANDWALLSUNLIMITED 857 SEE SOME PICTURES OF OUR BEAUTIFUL WORK ON: * 50th Anniversary Logo Design Winner * Graphic artist and musician Craig Phillip Cardone of Freeport won the "Create a Logo" contest for Dan's Papers' 50th Anniversary. Cardone incorporated original artwork by Mickey Paraskevas in his whimsical, winning design. This issue is dedicated to our service men and women. Call Linda & Paul � 631-287-1515 375 County Road 39, Southampton � www.wwunlimited.com 2221 Montauk Highway � P.O. Box 630 � Bridgehampton, NY, 11932 � 631-537-0500 Classified Phone 631-537-4900 � Classified Fax 631-537-1292 Dan's Papers was founded in 1960 by Dan Rattiner and is the first free resort newspaper in America. Dan's Papers March 25, 2011 danspapers.com Page 5 1672 Dan's Papers March 25, 2011 danspapers.com Page 6 HAMPTON BAYS BERINGER- WHITE ZINFANDEL . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1.5L $9.99 Louis M. 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Clemente, Janet Flora, Sally Flynn, Bob Gelber, April Gonzales, Barry Gordin, Katy Gurley, Steve Haweeli, Ken Kindler, Laura Klahre,Judy Spencer-Klinghoffer, Ed Koch, Kelly Krieger, Silvia Lehrer, Sharon McKee, Jeanelle Myers, Maria Orlando Pietromonaco, Susan Saiter, Marianna Scandole, Rebeca Schiller, Maria Tennariello, Lenn Thompson, Marion Wolberg Weiss Contributing Artists And Photographers David Charney, John Davenport, Kimberly Goff, Barry Gordin, Katlean de Monchy, Richard Lewin, Stephanie Lewin, Michael Paraskevas, Ginger Propper, Tom W. Ratcliffe III, Nancy Pollera MOET & CHANDON - IMPERIAL . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .750L $36.99 VEUVE CLICQUOT - BRUT YELLOW LABEL . . . . . . . 750L $36.99 1800 - REPOSADO . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1.75L $39.99 HERRADURA - SILVER TEQUILLA . . . . . 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They are the work of Southampton artist Larry Rivers, one of the wellknown modern artists and sculptors who lived a bohemian life in the last half of the 20th century in this area along with Willem de Kooning, Jackson Pollock and a host of others, enlivening this community and making it famous as a capital of the art world. (Rivers died in 2002.) Why Rivers created these extremely long and sexy but disembodied ladies legs is a long story and I will tell you about it later, but for now, the issue really is--what is art and why is art on the lawn of a private home in Sag Harbor a problem? The matter came up at a meeting of the Sag Harbor Village Board of Trustees last summer. Somebody had complained about the legs. They didn't like looking at them. But the village was stumped. Turns out there is no law on the books either prohibiting or allowing "art" on the lawn of a private home in that village. It's just not something that had come up before. Forgetting for a moment that the Legs had been up there before any law was passed proDan Rattiner's second memoir, IN THE HAMPTONS TOO: Further Encounters with Farmers, Fishermen, Artists, Billionaires and Celebrities, is now available in hardcover wherever books are sold. The first memoir, IN THE HAMPTONS, published by Random House, is now available in paperback. Could a set of swings on a side yard be considered a structure? No. How about a barbeque pit? An above-ground swimming pool? hibiting legs or anything else not nailed down on a lawn, the board did the only possible thing they could do. Forget that this is America where you can do anything you want unless there is a law against it. There have been other countries not like America where dictatorships have been in place, for example the Soviet Union, and you can't do anything you want unless there is a law that permits it. The Legs seemed to fall in the dictatorship category. "Go down there with a tape measure and a code enforcement book and see what's what," the Mayor told Building Inspector Tim Platt. So he went down. I don't know if Ruth Vered or her life partner Janet Lehr were home when he first went, but soon he caught up with them. They own an art gallery in East Hampton. They thought the legs would look pretty good on their property. Platt measured the height of the legs at 16 feet, one inch. There is a limit of 15 feet for the height of an accessory structure at a private home in Sag Harbor. He noted that there were small blocks of concrete bolted under the bare feet of the legs to steady them in a wind and keep them from falling down. Looked like a founda- tion. Some sort of building is what it was. He discovered that the legs were pretty close to the house, but not close enough, if they were to be considered as some sort of ornament to the side of the house. Such protrusions could not be greater than 18 inches. The building inspector found that these two giant legs, actually legs attached to the bottom of a torso wearing a bikini, at the waist, were in violation of at least four sections of Chapter 55 of the Village Zoning Code, if the legs were a "structure," which the enforcement officer decided was as close as he could get to defining what it was. Could a set of swings on a side yard be considered a structure? No. As a matter of fact, many of them have their legs in concrete to keep them steady. Could a motor vehicle be considered a structure? No. How about a baby carriage? I always thought the definition of a structure was something embedded into the earth that could not walk off. How about a barbeque pit? An above-ground swimming pool? Certainly an in-ground swimming pool is a structure. What about a big pair of legs made by a famous artist and worth a lot of money? This matter has dragged on and on. Eventually it was decided that the matter should be taken up again at a time when one of the village attorneys, Anthony Tohill, who was out sick when it first came up, could come to the meeting. That didn't happen until October. And still the matter dragged on and on. It's no big secret that pieces of sculpture are on the front, back and side lawns of hundreds of pri(continued on page 14) Dan's Papers March 25, 2011 danspapers.com Page 12 HamptonsToile WINTER PIANO RENTAL � RENT TO OWN 100% TOWARDS PURCHASE YAMAHA, STEINWAY AND MORE WINTER SALE www.pianobarn.com PianoBarn Call Mike 631-726-4640 We Buy, Sell, Rent, Restore, Move & Tune Since 1976 1478 South O' the Highway (and the North too) Cosmo Joe 925.255.3256 Hamptons Tote Bags in assorted colors and sizes starting at $95. Have you Been Cosmotized? www.cosmojoeswonderemporium.com1947 HamptonsToile.com 631.329.044 1 Check Out 1916 HOUSE & HOME GUIDE! 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Call for a no cost consultation The hautest summer on record: The Daily is coming to the Hamptons. The Daily Front Row's editor-in-chief Brandusa Niro and Tom Allon, CEO of Manhattan Media (publishers of Dan's Papers) will be partnering on a new upscale, glossy, fashion and lifestyle weekly in the Hamptons to launch Memorial Day weekend, titled The Daily Dan. This chic sheet of New York's posh summer playground will be distributed with Dan's Papers throughout THE season. * * * Hamptons resident and Oscar-winning actress Mercedes Ruehl has joined Bay Street Theatre's Board of Trustees. Ruehl has appeared in several Bay Street productions, including Dinner, Viva La Vida and Blue Light. * * * A new book by Southampton Writers Conference faculty member and past Poet Laureate of the United States, Billy Collins will be released April 5. Horoscopes for the Dead, Collins' ninth poetry collection, explores life, death and the way we live. * * * Kevin Penner, executive chef at East Hampton's 1770 House, appeared on a recent episode of Ina Garten's "Barefoot Contessa" and taught viewers how to make one of the restaurant's most popular dishes. Penner has also appeared on "The Next Food Network Star" and "The Best Thing I Ever Ate." * * * Bridgehampton's Madonna is featured on the cover of Out magazine next month for the publication's first "Ladies We Love" issue. * * * Montauk's Edward Albee, Pulitzer winning author of Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? was honored at Washington, D.C.'s Arena Stage with the American Artist Award for significant contributions to theatre. Fellow East Ender actress Kathleen Turner was on hand to applaud him. * * * Last week the CFDA announced the nominees and honorees for the 2011 CFDA Fashion Awards at CFDA President Diane von Furstenberg's Meatpacking District studio. Winners will be announced at their annual gala on June 6. Honorees include Fashion Icon Award--Lady Gaga. * * * In a recent interview with Rolling Stone, Southampton shock jock Howard Stern compared himself to Charlie Sheen, claiming he's in "as weird a place" because when it comes to their respective shows, Sheen doesn't care at all while Stern cares too much. * * * Amagansett's Alec Baldwin announced that he's dropped out of Men in Black III due to scheduling conflicts, but is looking forward to working with Tom Cruise, Adam Shankman and a vocal coach, for singing scenes, in the upcoming Rock of Ages. (continued on page 30) 1905 1267018 Dan's Papers March 25, 2011 danspapers.com Page 13 A New Age Festival Thousands Will Come Here to Celebrate NY on Aug. 5-7 By Dan Rattiner A very, very strange series of events is going to descend upon the Pow Wow Grounds of the Shinnecock Reservation in Southampton on the three-day weekend of August 5 to 7. It is to be called ESCAPE TO NEW YORK and if that sounds weird it's because it's meant to. Up to 7,500 people will attend. Many of them will camp (they call it glamping because it is high-end camping) on the grounds of the Elks Club on County Road 39. But all the action will be at the Pow Wow Grounds, where, leaving the State of New York, you will escape to what they say is the State of Mind of New York, as brought to America by one of the most remarkable men in the anti-establishment world, Freddie Fellowes, a wealthy man in the UK who every year for many years has held an amazing "Secret Garden Party" on the vast grounds of his estate in England. There, for five days, people let their hair down, forget their troubles, and create environments, situations and transportation vessels, bonfires, fireworks, giant celebrations and minifestivals that remind people very much of the goings on in Alice in Wonderland. The PR woman who is handling Escape to New York, Pam Workman-Hilton, had this to say about Fellowes' Secret Garden Party. "Well, for one thing, it was declared the best party in England by BBC-1 for the past two years in a row. For another thing, last year they built a pirate ship in the pond, rode it around for a while and then burned it to the waterline. It's very hard to describe. Here in America, the only frame of reference might be the Burning Man Festival out in the desert of California." Of course the Shinnecock Pow Wow Grounds does not have a pond on it. It also does not have the vast spaces that the desert in California has, where the annual Burning Man weekend event takes place. But, as Pam Workman-Hilton told me, at this event, which is far smaller in scale, they will think of something else, or many other something elses to do during the weekend of August 5 to 7. Like I said, they expect 7,500 people. The Secret Garden Party last year drew 30,000. I don't know what Burning Man brings. In any case, tickets to Escape to New York go on sale on April 1 and will cost $275 for the weekend, or $125 for the day. Producing this event for Fellowes is Dave Lory of Dave Lory Productions, an outfit in New York City that does, among other things, events in Central Park. Lory told me that the contracts have been signed with the Shinnecock Indian Nation, which has jurisdiction over the event, but he has also worked with the Town of Southampton (continued on page 20) JUST SHOWS WHAT AN AROUSED PUBLIC CAN DO By Dan Rattiner The potential change in venue for the music festival scheduled for the Hamptons on the weekend of August 13 presents a good example of the sort of thing that can be done when public citizens put their mind to something. The festival was proposed and approved for a site on the Montauk Highway just to the east of downtown Amagansett. Traffic is very backed up every summer in August at this location. Putting a music festival on a 28-acre parcel there struck many, even those who were excited to have this festival, as a very bad idea. And many people expressed this opinion loud and clear. As a result, the promoters, one of them Chris Jones, the owner of the Sole East Resort in Montauk, and Bill Collage, a successful screenwriter with a home in Sag Harbor, applied to change the venue. They have a license for the Amagansett site and want to keep it, but now hold the festival at the East Hampton Airport in a field at the end of an unused runway. This plan is being greeted with much less opposition. The first of the town's groups that would need to approve the change have given the change the go-ahead. The FAA, which controls activities at the airport, which will weigh in next week with either an approval or a denial, has given hints that they will look kindly on this project. There's lots of parking and little residential disruption out there. I dare say that if perhaps 30% of the populace approved of having it in Amagansett--this includes Town Supervisor Bill Wilkinson who gave it the approval--perhaps 90% of the populace would approve of it at the airport. It will feature 18 bands, two bandshells, parking for 5,000 vehicles, lots of revenue for the merchants in town, and with 9,500 tickets sold, a big boost to the economy. Not least of all, it would be welcomed by a basket of local charities that provide shelter, food and care to (continued on page 16) Dan's Papers March 25, 2011 danspapers.com Page 14 Legs (continued from page 11) vate homes throughout the Hamptons. A large stone rock is on the front lawn of Dan's Papers. Commissioned by Guild Hall for its front lawn, it was carved by Jeffrey Parsons in the early 1970s. We show it now. Next door to us in Bridgehampton, the Urban Archaeology store has out on the lawn the iron sculptures of cherubs that were originally made in Paris in the late 19th century from brass castings for the fountain surrounding the Arc de Triomphe on the Champs Elysses in Paris. Down the way, in front of the Sanford House, is a 15-foot-tall sculpture of polished stainless steel cubes. And then down around the corner from our office, on Ocean Road, there is an enormous wavy steel sculpture 15 feet high and 30 curving feet long made by Charles Ginnever called "Knossos" on the front lawn of the summer mansion of Barnes and Noble Chairman Len Riggio. Sculptures are all over the place, no community prevents them and everybody admires them. Many of them represent that era when Abstract Expressionism was in its heyday here. And they are here to salute the next generation of artists, Julian Schnabel, Hans Van de Bovenkamp, Michael Rosch and James DeMartis, who are still here. The matter lingered in Sag Harbor, through all the brutal snowstorms of December and January. The work of various modern artists liv- ing in Sag Harbor has been mentioned by supporters of the legs. On the other hand, traditionalists argue that only statues of generals and revolutionary war figures should be allowed to be erected in that village. Whose legs were these? Marilyn Monroe? She was never in Sag Harbor. (Actually, in 1951, when she summered in Amagansett with playwright Arthur Miller, she did visit this village.) Attorney Tohill, having returned, said he did not know what to do about the legs either. He wasn't going to try to define art. The legs were constructed by Larry Rivers in 1969 to be part of an assemblage he was making for a shopping center that year. The assemblage objects were mounted on a canvas. The thing was 40 feet long and 20 feet high. Also mounted on the canvas were giant Plexiglas, kissable lips-- six of them--several drawings, a sculpture of some bathing suits, a clock, a bunch of other found objects of indeterminate origin, and other stuff of determinate origin. The man who commissioned the work was one of the developers of the giant Smithhaven Mall. His name was Leonard Holzer, and he was married to a wealthy socialite by the name of Baby Jane Holzer, who in her youth had famously swung from a chandelier at a party in a mansion in Southampton that her parents owned. Anyhow, Leonard Holzer had persuaded his partners at this mall to commission various artists and sculptors in the area to adorn the vast lobby of that place at its opening. They would remain a permanent display. It was quite an assemblage. The sum of $350,000 was set aside for the project. Among the things created were not only this assemblage by Larry Rivers, but also a magnificent mobile by Alexander Calder. These works of art went up, and remained up for years, until part of the Calder mobile got disconnected and lost and then, when a later owner of the mall got in a fight with Rivers over the fact that he wanted the "mural" moved to another place in the mall, taken down. Disassembled, different pieces of the mural got into the hands of art dealers as "Larry Rivers originals," which they were, and among them were these great long legs with the black nylon stockings, now free to stand by themselves (so to speak), on the side lawn of this former Bethel Baptist Church, now the home of Vered and Lehr, on the corner of Henry and Madison. They have been there for five years as a matter of fact. Interestingly, between the time the Bethel Church left this premises and Vered and Lehr bought it, the church had been the home of Abraham Rattner, another famous painter, and his wife Esther. Rattner lived and painted there in the central nave where the pews once were. Jackson Pollock's girlfriend, Ruth Kligman, worked there at one time. The former church was very much a gallery of art. One wonders if Rattner did any of his work (continued on page 22) 1181 Dan's Papers March 25, 2011 danspapers.com Page 15 Instruction available for Individuals, Groups and Private Functions. Enjoy a relaxing evening out on the water with our Sunset Beach Charters. Custom Lessons � Kids weekly "Summer Sessions" Reservations: 631.537.8601 Operating Hours: 8am - 7pm 7 Days/June 1st - Sept 15th 1955 Dan's Papers March 25, 2011 danspapers.com Page 16 Public (continued from page 13) blo DJ Pallos a Ceb Ibiza from 7th May 75 Coming Events g s at 75 Main t 5 MAIN Visit ZACH ERDEM PRESENTS John Dillon JAMAICAN REGGAE PARTY DJ Biggie SAT MARCH 26: danshamptons.com NIGHT OF BURLESQUE Birthday Celebration For Natasha & Brenda Come Dressed in your Sexiest Burlesque Outfit Cash Prize for Best Costume SAT APRIL 2ND: for all of your local Hamptons news Drink Specials All Night DJ Biggie SAT APRIL 23: THAT 70'S BAND SAT APRIL 30: And New Life Crisis PAUL MAHOS SAT MAY 7TH: PABLO CEBALLOS THAT 70'S BAND Tues-Thurs 3 Course Prix Fixe $21.95 Friday-Havana Night with DJ Chile 9:00pm - 4:00am $5 Margarita & Coronas All Night SAT MAY 14TH: Sunday Steak Night $15.95 3 Course Dinner Monday Pasta Night $12.00 3 Course Dinner Real Estate Happy Hour- Thursday 5-7 With your host Beau Hulse Free Hor'dourves � 1/2 Price Drinks Let us Cater your next special event! Group parties get 20% off www.75main.com � email@example.com 75 Main Street � Southampton Open Daily for Lunch & Dinner 631 283 7575 many people who are suffering through this recession. The promoters have promised to set aside $100,000 for these charities, regardless of whether they make or lose money. I would like to give my opinion about the behavior of our current Town Supervisor in this matter. Bill Wilkinson has a home in Montauk, a part of town which it is fair to say is dedicated in the summertime to a wide variety of sports and recreation, including surfing, fishing, golf, tennis, beachcombing, hang-gliding, surfcasting and running. Numerous running races are held in that place. There are parades, book fairs, golf tournaments, surfing competitions, fishing fundraisers. Montauk holds 24 rod-and-reel fishing records, more than any other single town in the world. Ditch Plains Beach is now #8 in the rankings of the finest surfing locations in America. In some ways, in my view, Montauk is a sort of celebration. It's largely a motel and hotel town. There are residences, but they make up a small percentage of the number of dwellings in town and the number of people in town at any one time. And most of the people living there are involved in creating this wonderful celebration. Since being elected town supervisor--and Wilkinson has been a steady hand and an extremely popular and effective town supervisor--he has, nevertheless, decided to create a committee to study the effects of having all these events in Montauk from the perspective that they might be of concern to those who live there. At the same time, while granting the permit for the rock festival in Amagansett, after allowing only the most cursory input from the townspeople, he seemed to indicate something to the effect that what's good for Montauk ought to be good for Amagansett, essentially a residential community where people go to bed at 10 p.m., just about the time when some of Montauk's nightlife is just getting started. Everybody is entitled to their opinions, and when in charge, entitled to make rulings in accordance with them. I would fault him for putting a rock festival on the highway in Amagansett though. I think there is a time and a place for everything. Celebrations are for Montauk. Peace and quiet is a hallmark of a residential community such as Amagansett. A little thought would have put the Amagansett Music Festival where it belongs, only a few miles away at the airport. And if not the East Hampton Airport, then at the Ranch in Montauk. Montauk used to have big rock concerts. For seven years in the 1980s and 1990s, rock concerts featuring such people as Paul Simon, Billy Joel, Ray Charles and Jimmy Buffet were held there, and they raised over a million dollars for our local charities, largely thanks to the efforts of Rusty Leaver, the cowboy who runs that ranch. There were a few people who complained about them. But the vast majority of Montaukers welcomed them, went to them and loved the experience. 1914 1884 1285 Dan's Papers March 25, 2011 danspapers.com Page 17 In and Out Trying to Keep Up With the Comings and Goings on CR-39 By Dan Rattiner Last week, Suffolk County finally acknowledged that there are now more people leaving the Hamptons than coming into it. It's been a long time for them to come around to this. The increased traffic heading westbound out of the Hamptons on County Road 39 has been in a traffic tie-up situation for the past three years. Before that the traffic heading eastbound into the Hamptons was in crisis for a long, long time and about six years ago, 10 years into that problem, they finally did something about it. That earlier problem coming eastbound began in 1990, in boom times, when traffic trying to get into the Hamptons began in earnest. People had heard about the place. They wanted to come here. Who can forget those three-mile long tieups going eastbound at the end of the Sunrise Highway where it narrows into County Road 39? People called the tie-ups the "trade parade." It was awful. Particularly in the early morning hours when everybody thought they would get into the Hamptons before all the crowds. That was a mistake. This imbalance between those coming in and those going out continued on and on. People complained and complained. It was almost gridlock. Finally, in 2002, the County announced they would fix this. County Road 39 would be widened, and in accordance with state and federal rules, would be done with a complete overhaul of the businesses that line both sides of the road. Many of them would have their front yards condemned. Others would have to go out of business, as their buildings would actually have to be hauled away. It would cost $60 million to widen the road to make the new lane, much of which would be paid by the federal government, if federal rules could be observed. This project stalled. Using federal rules, the disruption to the Hamptons would be total for months and months, even years. Traffic would be at a virtual standstill in both directions. There had to be another way. And then finally, about 2005, with the imbalance in the traffic getting worse and worse, our County Legislator, Jay Schneiderman, working with the County Executive and the towns, came up with a better way. An improvement involving narrower lanes, following County rules instead of federal, would require less disruption, less condemnation and far less cost. With speeds held to 45 miles an hour instead of 55, it could be done. And the cost would be just $12 million. The project was completed in 2006, on sched(continued on page 24) THE BIGGEST MOON EVER -- BUT WAIT! By Dan Rattiner I have a dog named Moo. He was born on the night of December 23, 1999, the night before Christmas Eve, and I named him for that night. That was the night that the moon was at its largest and brightest in nearly two centuries. The dog's real name is Big Moon. We call him Moo for short. I have told this story for 12 years now whenever anybody asks me why I have a dog named Moo. I am asked that fairly frequently. Fido or Rover it is not. I give this explanation proudly. I follow cosmic events. And that night while his mom was giving birth at a kennel in Riverhead, I was down on the beach at Montauk watching this moon that, it was said, would be so bright that in areas where there was snow on the ground it would not even be necessary to turn on your car headlights. It rose slowly and beautifully. I was the only one there at Ditch Plains that night. And ever since then, when I call my dog by his name--and he comes when called--I remember that night. Thus it was that last Saturday night I was in a state of disbelief as I drove down with Moo and my wife to Main Beach in East Hampton at 7 p.m. to watch, arriving at 7:35 p.m., what was said would be the largest moon since 1982. A whole crowd of people was down there, brought down by Twitters and texts and Facebooks and everything. And they were down there to cheer the moon on. In 1999, we didn't have social networking on any big-time level. There were still payphone booths. People talked to one another. People didn't gather and overthrow governments after following somebody on Twitter for example. So, what happened in 1999? I have done the research. In 1999, research was done in libraries. In 2011, it's done in my hot little hand on my iPhone. In 2011, my hot little hand indeed tells me, the moon was closer to Earth than it had been since 1982. But it was also the largest moon in the sky in two centuries. How could this be? In 1999, my hand says, things had come together in a remarkable cosmic confluence. The full moon was as close to the earth as it could be for the YEAR of 1999, not forever. But in addition to that, the Earth, and the moon with it, were within 10 days of being the (continued on page 24) Dan's Papers March 25, 2011 danspapers.com Page 18 1857 1063 Dan's Papers March 25, 2011 danspapers.com Page 19 THE LIST YOU WANT TO BE ON. COMING MAY 2011 If you do business in the Hamptons you better be on Dan's List... If you live, work or play in the Hamptons make sure you check out Dan's List Call you Sales Representative Today at: 631-537-0500 1962 Dan's Papers March 25, 2011 danspapers.com Page 20 Escape (continued from page 13) about other logistics, including the Highway Department and the Fire Department. He described the event in further detail. "There will be performance art, interactive installations and food and dancing. The food will be provided by Silkstone, one of the firms we use in Manhattan, and it will be a real culinary experience. The event will begin at 9 a.m. on Friday and for each of the three days go to about 11 p.m. There will be 22 bands in a dance tent, one after the other. Security will be coordinated between the Shinnecock Security Group, the State Police and our private security organization. There will be lounge areas, a children's area for families, a disco tent which will have the actual disco ball from Studio 54 and the actual dance floor from Saturday Night Fever." Other groups involved in the production include Workman Entertainment and the Cake Group. He also said he didn't think this event would make any money to speak of, and if you do the math, you can see that that is probably true. He said it was a sort of "starter" event, on a small property, and it was Fellowes' first effort in America on the East Coast, where nothing like this exists now. "We expect to have more of these, either on other tribal reservations in addition to this one, or in other places," he said. He also said the contract was a great benefit to the Shinnecock Nation, not only because of the money being paid to them for the leasing of the 1596 property, but also because the event will fix up many of the facilities on the Pow Wow Grounds-- and leave some of what they think the Shinnecocks could use behind--for example, the playground. The Shinnecocks, who have for generations suffered great poverty, will emerge from that poverty with the recent designation of their becoming a Federally Recognized Tribe. But the benefits of that, which come through the Federal Bureau of Indian Affairs, came too late for anything to get to them in the 2011 budget. This will be a welcome help for the tribe indeed. In some ways, I feel personally responsible for this event coming to the Shinnecock Reservation. Six years ago, when the nearby Southampton Campus of Long Island University collapsed, and with it the popular "All for the Sea" rock festival held on its soccer and lacrosse grounds, the Shinnecocks reached out to me to approach the then-President of SUNY Stony Brook University, Shirley Strum Kenny, who was now hoping to buy the campus from LIU. Perhaps a rock festival could be held at the Pow Wow Grounds to replace "All for the Sea." I did make the call, but nothing came of it. The next year, PETA, the organization that pickets places where they feel there is animal abuse, began picketing the very popular Clyde Beatty Circus that was for years a staple presentation on the Elk's Grounds on County Road 39. PETA felt that circuses in general abuse elephants, and though they had no direct problem with this particular circus, they succeeded in getting the Town to pass a rule that they would only allow permits for circuses that have no elephants. The Clyde Beatty people complied for two years. (Think Dog and Pony Show.) But then, I put them in touch with the Shinnecock Indian Nation. The Nation has no rule against elephants. And so now, every summer, when the circus comes to town, it comes to the Pow Wow grounds, with elephants. I point this out because as I said at the beginning of this story, the permits and contracts have been made with the Shinnecock Indian Nation. It's their rules. And that is why, up until now, there has been no publicity about this upcoming event from the Shinnecocks or the Town, because it is only a courtesy that the Town is involved. There is nothing for the taxpayers of the Town to discuss. It's taking place in a neighboring country that America set up as an Indian reservation 150 years ago that happens to be surrounded by the Town of Southampton. To get more of handle on Escape to New York, I spoke by phone to Freddie Fellowes. "It used to be that people came to a festival where people interacted with each other," he told me. "But a generation ago, in America, a festival came to be a bunch of guys standing in front of a stage where gigs went on. Meanwhile, in Europe, we have been carrying on the earlier tradition. So now I will bring it back to you." "Give me three specific things that will go on at Shinnecock to help readers understand what you're coming with," I asked. "Everything happens spontaneously. But I will give you three possibilities. The Unofficial Derby--a race where you can enter yourself, but you must be dressed up as a horse. The Cartoon (continued on page 22) Dan's Papers March 25, 2011 danspapers.com Page 21 Southampton Hospital Looks to Move to College program, and the visiting students programs for the campus planned for the fall, I see this as the beginning of the campus's new life." County Assemblyman Steve Bellone weighed in, saying, "I would look to assist the leadership of Assemblyman Thiele and Senator Ken LaValle, along with Congressman Tim Bishop, who have been working hard to save the Southampton College campus as well as assist Southampton Hospital in creating a new facility to provide important medical services to the South Fork." However, there is a downside to the hospital leaving its present location, where it has been since it was created over 100 years ago. Southampton Mayor Mark Epley has gone on record saying there would be an impact to the surrounding area of the village. He referred to the impact when the town court left the village to relocate to Hampton Bays. In the meanwhile efforts to protect the Stony Brook Southampton campus continue. Thiele said he has not given up on environmental programs at the college. "I am working on a local-based option that could still make sustainability a cornerstone of the campus." At the moment, momentum is swinging for big things to happen there. CAMPO BROTHERS By T.J. Clemente Now over 100 years old, Southampton Hospital is about to make some big decisions about either relocating or renovating in its quest to provide the best medical services available for the East End. Last week, it was reported that Stony Brook University had invited Southampton Hospital CEO Robert S. Chaloner to explore using the Southampton Campus as a possibility for the hospital's expansion. New York State Assemblyman Fred Thiele, an alumni of Southampton College and a supporter of preserving the importance of the campus in our community, said he was in favor of the idea. "First, it supports the community's need for a modern hospital facility. Second, I see it as one of the keys to a very vibrant future for the Southampton campus." Thiele said that the on-campus hospital facility "will require about 15 acres of the 82-acre campus, leaving plenty of land for academic programs." Chaloner said there has always been a healthy relationship between the university and the hospital and hoped that would continue. Stony Brook University spokesperson, Lauren Sheprow, seemed to add more speculation when she said that the university "was willing to further explore options within the context of community and regional needs." With a proposed New York State budget cut of around $55 million to Stony Brook University and the Stony Brook University Medical Center, all new building projects have been suspended. Southampton Hospital is still exploring relocating to the Elks Lodge site on Suffolk County Road 39, although access to that site is more limited than it would be to the Stony Brook Southampton campus. So what would Southampton Hospital provide for the university? Thiele had some suggestions: It could lead to nine new academic programs related to the health care industry--not just nursing and health sciences, but also things like information technology, he said. "With the hospital on the campus with an associated curriculum, it will virtually eliminate any future chance of the college closing or being sold. Together with the new arts program, an expanded marine science JAMESPORT MODEL* 2400 S.F. 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I don't want to tell too much." I asked Fellowes about the fact that the estate in England for the Secret Garden Party is more than 1,000 acres and Burning Man takes place in about 4,400 acres of desert. The Pow Wow Grounds is about 30 acres. "We can do a lot in 30 acres," he said. In the rest of this article, I will give you a sense of the sort of things that take place at Burning Man--a description of some of the events in 2010--and the Secret Garden Party, describing more of what they hope to bring to the table in 2011 in England. As you read this stuff, it will bring to mind Club Med or "Survivor" or the Renaissance Festival or the Magic Kingdom or maybe just Letting it All Go. THE SECRET GARDEN PARTY in England Here are some of the activities: Backstreet Snail Racing with six African snails, a starting gun and a finish-line tape. A Bohemian Art Studio replicating a 19th-century Parisian artist's studio with nude models, teaching, critiques and a chance to pose nude or in costume. The Flirt Factory. The Hungamunga Tent for mask-making, collage, painting, sewing and knitting, with a petting zoo of imaginary creatures. The Jungle is Massive tent where revelers can climb into a synthetic jungle to pumping drum beats. Karaoquee Camp features Samurai singers in an oriental lounge with hot sake. Magical Health Services includes Nepalese meditation classes, mantra yoga, free brewed tea, daily Puja rituals to Lord Ganesha, Remover of Obstacles and more. Explorer Camp is storytelling about mountains, emotions, cities. There's the Bureau of Random Acts. Figure that out. Asstrology is a bit like palm reading but not for your hands. You can also dip it in paint and press it on paper to memorialize your visit. They are also thinking this year to do something called Mammary Memories. BURNING MAN in California The 1000-Watt Smile is a huge installation of LED lights and seeks only to transfer itself to the faces of others. The Amethyst Portal is a 17-foot high dodecahedron inside of which you will find a non-linear radio feedback device and Earth's Schumann Resonance Meter. An entire temporary city is built in the desert, called Black Rock City, every year. There are the Black Rock City street signs which one year were alphabetic signs only. There's 3E-ROI, a 50-foot long, 25-foot high construction of light, sound, video, sticks, stones, alloys and polymers. There are the Altars to the Four Directions. There's Babel, a construction made entirely from abandoned wood shipping pallets. And there is the Burning Sky Skydiving Night Jump with a Pyro Display. ESCAPE TO NEW YORK is hard to explain. But I've tried. And they say you have to be there to understand it. It is also one week before MTK, the Music to Know Concert and Festival, to take place at the East Hampton Airport or the Principi Farm in Amagansett on August 13-14, which has been in the planning stages for six months, will attract a maximum of 9,500 ticketholders and now has a well-earned permit from the Town of East Hampton. Its tickets, too, are expected to go on sale April 1 for about the same price as Escape to New York. As I write this, it is Saturday, March 19, and tonight, the moon will be the largest in the sky it's been in 20 years. I intend, naked at midnight tonight, to paint my body in bright colors and pray to this moon and also to the God of Moon Creation. I will ask these two to bless the Hamptons and empower it with health, safety, fun and wildness for the summer. Legs (continued from page 14) outside, or put it outside, and whether any building inspector or ordinance inspector came over to measure things up. Probably not. The matter is still dragging on. Various offers have been tendered. Vered has offered to lower it from 16 feet to 15 feet, not by sawing the poor lady's hips down, god forbid, but by lowering the concrete pedestal upon which she stands. There may be a variance given. Who knows? Hopefully it will all be worked out. Spring is here and soon there will be lots else for the officials to worry about other than a work of art on a side lawn in the Village of Sag Harbor. Get with the program, Sag Harbor. Dan's Papers March 25, 2011 danspapers.com Page 23 Water Shuttles Could Tie North and South Forks By Elise D'Haene John Ryan has worn many hats in his life. He opened Rudy's Coffee Shop in Mattituck in 1999 and sold it three years later. He helped the Riverhead Library put in a small caf�, then did the same for the Cigar Bar in Sag Harbor. His knees, he said, took a beating in the food service industry, so he took a year off to rehabilitate and was a stay-at-home-dad, diapering babies and figuring out his next step. He got his boat captain's license and worked for a while for ConocoPhillips as a launch operator, captaining a tugboat to transport crews and equipment to the company's platform out in Long Island Sound. Eventually, he opened Response Marine Inc. in Mattituck, which services the commercial shipping industry, providing water shuttle service for crews and private marine construction up and down the East Coast. He spent five months last year helping to oversee a fleet of boats deploying boom to clean up the oil along the Alabama coastline after the Deep Water Horizon oil spill. "My wife was not happy I was gone so long," he said. He began to think about a plan that would enable him to spend more time on the East End and at his home in Aquebogue with his family. That's when it came to him to offer visitors and residents of the East End an alternative to traveling by car from one village or town to the next -- a water shuttle service, one that would be cost-effective and would make a trip on the East End hassle-free in terms of traffic and parking. Instead of being stuck in your car, you could enjoy the water, breathe in the fresh air and enjoy onboard refreshments. Ryan hopes to have the Greenport to Sag Harbor line up and running before the summer season kicks in. The cost would be $10 for adults one way. He would also like to see routes to Southampton, Riverhead and Montauk. One of his plans is to work with North Fork vineyards to transport passengers via a water shuttle and a street shuttle directly from port to vineyard. The street shuttles would run on a regular schedule, taking people into village Main Streets and other destinations like the beach, then back to the boat. "We're allowed to run a 40-passenger vessel," he said, explaining that the water shuttle would be governed by the U.S. Coast Guard in terms of licensing, safety, and inspections. Ryan said that he went to the towns to present his plan to be "transparent," but that because he will be operating a private business and not a car ferry, the towns have no jurisdiction. His arrangements will be made with the landlords of various docks and with the Coast Guard. Ryan was very excited by the plan, having already presented his idea to Greenport and Sag Harbor. "I think the Hampton Jitney is great, we're not competing with them. We'd be filling a void out here in terms of Suffolk County transportation." His initial goal is to get "people familiar with the service, to capture an audience, establish myself. I'd also like to partner with area merchants, selling He is very determined local products on board, to "provide this land and and maybe get a liquor sea shuttle to the public. I license and partner with feel it's a needed service," area breweries." he said. He's very open to Ryan's house in partnering with other Aquebogue is built on an transportation providers old potato farm, and he in the area. "If there's a interrupted his discussion need and there's a will, it of traveling on the sea, to will be successful -- we Water Shuttle is on its way say that he'd given up on can start helping ourmaintaining a lawn and was planting a half- selves and the environment. I know there's a acre of French merlot on his property. He was need, especially with how gas prices are rising. Could get up to $8 a gallon." just about to get started with the Rototiller. 1764 Dan's Papers March 25, 2011 danspapers.com Page 24 William A. Berkoski Jr., 56 William A. Berkoski, Jr. died March 15 at his home in Water Mill of an apparent heart attack. Berkoski was owner and operator of Southampton Village-based Berkoski Enterprises, a fuel oil, ice and security company founded by his father 44 years ago. "Bill" Berkoski was described by many as a "Renaissance Man," a family man known for his community service and generosity of spirit. He was a member of the Southampton Planning Board and the Southampton Fire Department; he held a Black Belt in karate and a pilot's license. He was actively involved in raising funds for the South Fork Breast Coalition. Berkoski was held in high esteem for his efforts in the recovery mission after Hurricane Katrina, driving trucks filled with ice to the stricken area. He also helped with a similar relief mission to Miami, where doctors were staging for the recovery effort in Haiti. He is survived by his wife Michele and daughters Jennifer Caruso, Amanda Frantzen and Lisa Berkoski; his parents, William and Dorothy Berkoski,and a brother Allan Berkoski, all of Arizona; and a sister whose name was not available. Services were held in Southampton on March 21. Moon (continued from page 17) New Lane (continued from page 17) closest they were going to get to the sun that year. In addition, the full moon was now coinciding with the winter solstice, an act that would only happen every 133 years. Finally, there was the issue of the aforementioned snow. The moon would be large, rising slowly, slowly and slowly at its solstice and with the reflection of the sun and the snow, would be blow-your-mind bright for a good half hour, a performance never seen for two centuries and likely never again. Here in 2011, on the East End, the moon was obscured upon rising by a bank of clouds. Only half an hour later did it venture into view. And Moo, as he sometimes does, howled. ule and on budget. And it solved the problem. Now the traffic problem coming east was flowing smoothly. And the westbound traffic, which never had been a problem, kept on as before. An unfortunate byproduct of all this was that various parts of the Hamptons, particularly on Meadow Lane in Southampton, on North Main Street in East Hampton and on Edgemere Road in downtown Montauk, suffered frequent flooding. No one was willing to make the connection at that time, and they still aren't. Having boomtime traffic on the long Hamptons peninsula was worth suffering through economically, even if the weight of all these cars and trucks did cause the landmass to sink several inches into the sea. Now, suddenly, in 2011, the County has finally noticed that the recession hit three years ago and there are more people driving back out of the Hamptons than driving in and the traffic jam is the other way. Mostly it occurs at 5 p.m. People again are trying to sneak out at a time when they think nobody else would be doing so. My guess, if history is any measure, is that the County will finally get around to adding another westbound lane--perhaps by adding a lane or by swapping one of the eastbound lanes out--by 2015. And so we will have to suffer on until then. By that time, I have no doubt, the traffic will have reversed once again. It is already beginning to swell coming eastbound as we move out of the recession, and so the people in charge will have fixed a problem one way just when the problem is the other way. These people never learn. 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Doyle handed down the sentence to Guldi, who appeared exhausted in the courtroom and clearly had not shaved in two or three days. He was wearing blue scrubs during the sentencing, a far cry from the suit jackets, bright red bow ties and hats he has been known to wear. Guldi's attorney said that he thought the sentence was excessive. Others, however, stated that it was not enough. The trial has been feverishly followed by the public because of its grand nature, but also because of Guldi's background as a former elected official, as well as the dramatic circumstances of a house fire at his family home and the mortgage scheme that collapsed like a house of cards. George Guldi is a former attorney, now disbarred because of his crimes, who practiced law in Westhampton Beach. Between 1995 and 2003, Guldi held the position of Suffolk County Legislator, an elected position. But none of that mattered to the jury when they became convinced by prosecutors that Guldi pocketed $863,000 that was held in escrow by his insurance company after his house burned down in 2008. The money was moved into a bank account that Guldi controlled. As part of his defense, Guldi claimed that he did not know how the money ended up in his bank account. Judge Doyle ordered Guldi to pay back the $863,000 as restitution for the theft. The jury found Guldi not guilty of two charges, criminal possession of a forged instrument and forgery. But as the question of whether or not Guldi was guilty of insurance fraud comes to a close, the final but much larger chapter, involving a massive $82 million mortgage fraud, enters its final stage. Guldi and 16 others were charged with lying to lending institutions to buy homes and flip them. The fraud involved over 30 properties in the Hamptons, but the scheme came to light when the real estate market slowed and the homes were unable to be sold fast enough to make up for the mortgages that had been obtained through fraudulent activity. The frauds he and others have been charged with include using false employment and income information, fake buyers, fake powers of attorney and mortgage stacking, which is a practice of using one mortgage to pay another mortgage to pay another mortgage, and so on. The mortgage fraud charges are completely separate from the insurance fraud charges. danspapers.com your guide to the Hamptons and the East End 1901 Dan's Papers March 25, 2011 danspapers.com Page 26 notice. There are two females and there are at least six to eight males all crowding around them, trying to impress the girls with whatever boy ducks use to impress. And apparently, sometimes one, or two or three of them get lucky--if noise is any indicator. Finally, I had had enough and leaned my head over the side of the porch to talk to one of the girls when they were taking a tick-eating break in the grass. Me: "Do you guys have to meet under my front porch? Can't you take this somewhere else?" Loretta Duck: "Look lady, we've always done it here. This is a well-known mating location. The people before you fed us, something you could try." Me: "No, then there will be more of you and THE SHELTERED ISLANDER by Sally Flynn There is sex going on under my front porch. Shameless, noisy, sex. And I'm sick of it. If I'm not having sex on or under my front porch, nobody else can. These damn ducks. They think they can just do whatever they want, anywhere they want and we're not supposed to WANT DELIVERED TO YOUR DOOR? www.danshamptons.com/subscribe.html or give us a call at 631-537-0500 and ask for Roe 1965 you'll invite more friends. There's enough group sex going on here as it is, I don't need another dozen of you squawking and making the racket worse!" Loretta Duck: "Jealous?" Me: "Don't be absurd. I wouldn't be caught dead with a duck." Loretta Duck: "Oh yeah? Well a duck wouldn't be caught dead with you, unless he was strung out on quack." Me: "Very funny." Loretta Duck: "Hey, I'm serious. Quack is an epidemic in our community. You think it's an accident when you see a dead duck on the road? It's not. That duck was either too strung out on quack to know he was in the road, or, worse, he just decided to end it all." Me: "Boy, are you a lame duck. There's no drug problem in the duck community. You eat ticks and worms out of the dirt for heaven's sake, where do you find drugs?" Loretta Duck: "What do you think is in those ticks? What could possibly be tasty in a tick? They have a chemical, a drug we call quack. You start off eating a few with your friends, then you start picking them out when you're alone, soon, you can't stop." Me: "So, is that what you were doing just now? Getting a hit of quack?" Loretta Duck: "What's it to you? I have a few hits in the morning and at night. I have it under control." Me: "How will you know when it's out of control?" Loretta Duck: "When I prefer it to the bread that people throw." Me: "So what are you saying? I'm responsible for your quack habit if I don't throw you bread?" Loretta Duck: "Bread, old bagels, buns, most people are very generous and that's what keeps the quack addiction so low here. But, don't feed us if you don't want to. If you can stand to see the ducks who meet here driven slowly mad, don't feed us. If you don't mind one of us occasionally wandering under the wheels of your car, don't feed us. We'll just eat the ticks on your front lawn and soon you'll have nothing but quack addicts under your porch." Me: "I resent being manipulated." Loretta Duck: "I understand. But really, you can't spare any bread?" Me: "I don't approve of enabling you. Is rye okay?" Loretta Duck: "It's a start." Melissa Duck: "Did it work Loretta? Is she getting us bread?" Loretta Duck: "That story always gets them! And it's rye--we're getting rye bread! Go get the boys, we're going to party tonight!" Dan's Papers March 25, 2011 danspapers.com Page 27 Who's Here By Elise D'Haene It is apt that Carl Safina is being featured in our "Who's Here" column. One could say that Safina is more immersed in the "here" of this long spit of land surrounded by water than most. A prominent ecologist, marine conservationist and award-winning author, Safina, to his core, has always been "a minnow-chasing boy." He remembers his childhood time spent fishing for bass with his father in the Long Island Sound. He has memories of walking out into the shallows with a butterfly net to catch minnows. He vividly recalls the day his mother led him through tall sea grass to where gulls were nesting so he could see their brown, speckled eggs amid a flurry of swooping and screaming birds. All of these experiences were indelibly etched into Safina's evolving identity. For decades he has been coming to Montauk to fish. Eventually he bought a weatherbeaten, dilapidated cottage on Lazy Point. He had no idea at the time that this place would become the central character in his latest book The View From Lazy Point: A Natural Year in an Unnatural World. He had entertained the concept before moving here of writing a "place-based book," and soon discovered that "Lazy Point was a rich, rich place-- perfect actually--for doing such a book." It is right on the flyway, a flight path for migrating birds and fish--two other central characters in Safina's life. "And a big part of it," he said, "is that the big sky and wide horizons here make some of the migrations--especially the seabirds--more visible." "But if you have your eyes open, you can see the whole world from wherever you're based," Safina added, and meant what he said, as he has spent his life traveling, "seeing the whole world" from vantage points as