danshamptons.com
DAN’S PAPERS
February 1, 2013 Page 27
What’s in Your Basement? Find Out Now By MATTHEW APFEL
What’s in Your Basement? The East End is worldrenowned for our agreeable climate, natural beauty and affordable housing. OK, that was a test to see if you were reading closely. Our climate is what really sets this place apart. The flat topography, combined with favorable ocean breezes on both sides of the island, creates moisture content in the air that is ideal for growing things, even when it doesn’t rain. Unfortunately, the same humidity that delivers such terrific fruits and veggies can also produce some nasty things in your basement—mold, mildew, termites, and more. Since winter is a relatively dry season around here, now is a good time to check your basements and make sure you’ve got a tight ship. I’m happy to report that technology can help. Here are a few ideas: Be Bold, Search for Mold The biggest risk of an overly damp basement is mold. It can be frighteningly expensive to replace walls, surfaces and home infrastructure weakened by excess water content. Professional mold inspections are a good thing, but they are fairly expensive and can be even more confusing than Manti Te’o’s love life. If you want simple, quick answers, a digital
moisture meter can give you a baseline idea of how much water is trapped inside your walls. Prices range wildly. I found some for as cheap as $99 and some were as costly as $2,500. So which product is best? That’s impossible to say, but I strongly recommend trying a “pinless” model first. Pinless units are cheaper and less invasive; you simply hold the unit against the surface and it uses a principle called electrical impedance to read moisture content.
The same humidity that delivers such terrific fruits and veggies can also produce some nasty things in your basement. The tradeoff? A model with pins can give a much more accurate reading and works on more types of surfaces: wood, drywall, concrete. If you’re not quite ready for a basement full of probes and pinholes, I suggest you try the pinless model first; if that simple test delivers high levels of water on the outer wall surface, then you should bring in a pro. Stop the Flow Another big basement issue is water leaks, especially for seasonal residents. A burst pipe or cranky water heater will cost thousands in repairs if not detected quickly. There are several options here. For as little as $20, you can install a battery-powered alarm
unit that sits on the basement floor and detects the presence of water. The problem? Cheap units don’t shut off your water valve, which doesn’t do a lot of good if you’re not home. A company called Sensaphone makes more sophisticated equipment to address the issue. More of an alarm, the device connects to existing water detection systems and sends you a message when there’s water or some other trouble such as a power outage or temperature drop. Expensive, but worth checking out. And Don’t Forget… While we’re at it, you should consider one additional piece of technology for your basement: a radon gas detector. Radon gas was the home repair fad of the ’90s. Every time you turned on the TV or read the paper, there was another story about people having to move out or tear down their homes because of radon and its real risk of lung cancer. So what happened? Did we plug all the leaks? Not exactly. Radon can still be a real threat to your basement—and your health—so it’s a good idea to test for it once a year. There are two types of detectors: the short-term and the longterm. According to the EPA, short-term units should sit in your basement for 2 to 90 days. There are many different electronic models, with prices ranging from $15 to $45. Longterm tests last over 90 days and present a more accurate picture of whether this dangerous gas is getting into your home.
Who Will Be the Next Sheltered Idol? By sally flynn
American Idol is back, hurray! I love the show, especially the auditions, which range from amazingly terrific to amazingly horrible between every set of commercials. But if Shelter Island had an Idol contest, we’d be looking for very different talents... if you think you can do any of these things with skill, we might have a spot for you. 1.) Pharmacy Parking. The ability to locate and get into a parking space anywhere near the pharmacy in July or August, within 20 minutes of circling. 2.) Parishioner Roll. The ability to catch any parishioner who has tripped coming out of Our Lady of the Isle Catholic Church, and is now rolling down the steep hill towards the parking lot across the street, before they roll into the street. 3.) The Line Cut. The ability to convince everyone in the North Ferry line in the summer, that you have a good enough reason to get on the boat first (by the way, this has never been done, but if you have a roll of hundreds,
you might try...). 4.) The Key Toss. Trying to get someone’s attention in a full school auditorium by hitting him or her with your keys from the back of the room. 5.) Bike Herding. Herding groups of cyclists off the road and making them think it was unintentional. 6.) Backpack Throw. For distance and accuracy. Throwing a forgotten backpack at your child as you roll through the school dropoff lane. 7.) The Sandwich Throw. For accuracy. Throwing a sandwich into the driver’s
window of a truck approaching you from the opposite direction. Said truck being driven by a man who was told four times that his lunch was on the counter, forgot it anyway and called you anyway to throw it to him on your way to work.... 8.) The Medication Toss. For distance and accuracy. Pulling into a driveway, throwing a bottle with something needed or forgotten to the recipient in the doorway. 9.) Deer Hunter Hunting. For stealth. Locating a hiding hunter to deliver a thermos of coffee or tomato soup. 10.) Scream Stifling. For speed in the face of a pointed rifle. The swiftness with which you can cover your mouth to stifle a scream after finding a hiding hunter, and because you wore your lovely sage green chenille sweater, the over-eager fool nearly shot you for dinner. Well, that’s a short list of some of the kinds of talents we admire around here, but the best talent is number 11. 11.) Prayer Recitation: The amount of prayers you can recite as the ferry crashes into huge chunks of floating ice. Hearing them slam into the side of the boat and from the loudness of the echo, you are certain the next hit will tear the side open.