How to invent Advertising Spellings • • • •
Simple vowels: Supa, Sola, Blu, Glu, Shu, Uneeda, Flo, Lo, Glo, Brite, Lite, Spreds, One letter replaces two: Kwik, Buz, Biskit, Elektrix, Brix, Sox, Klix, Trix, Fotek Single letters as syllables: Met-L, Brit-R, Ris-N, Chikn, Vandlshield When brand-names rhyme they usually have matching spellings like Ritelite, Buf Puf, Biskit, Froot Loops, Kix For Kidz, and Tru Valu. but they can make a contrast: True Bloo, Hi-Rise, Hy-Fibe, Twilite, Ski Lite, Fotograf?ti, Speediklean, Krazy Nails, Ezy Seal
In the very shrine of education called Edbiz, even literacy kits can abandon the spelling they teach, with names like RediGuide and SpellPak.
Sclambred Slepnilg – the cosmic mess In September 2003, an email magsese ran like wlid-frie round the world: RDIAENG Aoccdrnig to a rscheear at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe. Sdnous lkie smoe lgnisiuctis gard sdnetut has jsut been hdnaed a gaert tihses tpioc. Ceehiro. Bloggers sprouted like moorshums. Surfers googled into ‘Elingsh uinervtisy’ and newspaper columns ran hot. A Brazilian in Germany complained that ‘in 9 days time i got this 3 times in the english version, 5 times in the portuguese version, 10 times in the german version and wunse eeven in Icelandic.’ 28