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Captain’s Log July 2014 I can’t remember a Spokane summer this hot. We are sizzling like dogs under the heating elements of a convenience store roaster. Let’s remember this warmth in the dead of winter, and not complain too loudly when it’s getting close to 0º. Speaking of “loud,” Loud and Proud was launched this past month by Jeremy Price-Ballew, Daniel Hafner and Kurt Schmierer. Proud Times was inundated with so much Out & Proud entertainment news, that these three guys created an entirely new website dedicated to providing our readers with a panoply of reading material. Jeremy, Daniel and Kurt have also been busy giving away tickets to local concerts, having interviews with Out & Proud entertainers, and providing great articles for upcoming issues of Proud Times. Both Daniel’s interview with Gaytheist and the George Takei interview with Jeremy’s husband, J Charles Ballew, are in this issue. Interviews with Lily Tomlin and Cyndi Lauper have happened and will be published in the near future. Be sure to check out http:// loudandproud.proudtimes.com! I am very pleased that Cyndi Bussell is back and providing an insightful look at the use of the word “tranny.” Speaking as a Trans* individual, she is particularly qualified to address this issue. While many disagree with her stance, Proud Times supports the Trans* Community’s struggle for equality and respect. We look forward to many more informative and thought-provoking articles from Cyndi. We also welcome back Ricki Zipkin. Now that same-sex couples are getting married and being recognized by the State, she is our go-to person when it comes to wedding planning. In this issue,
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she breaks down the top 10 reasons to hire a wedding planner. (Spoiler Alert! Proud Times recommends Ricki Zipkin! Check out Serendipity at www.serendipityspokane.com.) We are truly blessed to have Debbi Sullivan submit an article about Two-Spirit Native Americans. While Debbi is a funny woman performing standup routines, we have discovered her talent for researching and writing about topics important to the Out & Proud Community. I figuratively did a somersault when she answered my call to write about our Two-Spirit population! Her article will help you Expand Your Frame of Mind. We are also welcoming Portland-based Life Coach Ram Michael. He has already submitted a few articles, and you have the opportunity to read some of his sage advice in this issue of Proud Times. You can also check him out on his blogtalkradio show! You should also catch up on Jerry Rabushka’s ongoing saga, Livin’ in the 509, in past issues of Proud Times. Then, enjoy this exciting episode set in the fictional world occupied by Skuff, Jasper, Rolie, Candle, Miki, Lilly, Patrice and Rhonda. It might not be reality. (But it might!) Together, we can make our world a better place.
Dean Ellerbusch Proud Times Executive Editor
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#8 JULY
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Table of Contents
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by Cynthia Lee-Bussell Lateral hostility (defined as “various unkind, discourteous and antagonistic interactions”) is a real issue in the LGBT community. There is more of it than one normally would find in the Australian LGBT community, and it is spilling across borders and onto keyboards internationally. I am talking about the “Tranny Bingo Kerfuffle.” Tranny Bingo is the Aussie version of Drag Bingo in the U.S. It is a great time for all involved and Drag Queens are doing a lot to bring awareness to LGBT causes. A simple glance at the event (via YouTube, as I live in Washington State) and it is obvious that the event itself has merit and is useful to the community. However, the one thing trans* women are asking event organizers to change is being met with resistance. We do not want them to use the word “Tranny” for their event. Why? Because we feel that “Tranny” is used as a slur for trans* women. Many trans* people report that the last words they hear yelled at them as they are being bashed is “tranny,” “shemale,” “he/she” and other derogatory words. These words are hurled in an attempt to dehumanize a target of physical violence. I have a dear friend who was bashed, who reports that the last words she heard before she blacked out was “fucking tranny.” “Tranny” has no positive meaning for us.
name—standing by their use of the word. “It is our word,” they say (and there is some truth to the statement). In Australia, there is an established history of the word being used ‘in group.’ But this isn’t an in group use of the word. Promotional materials proclaiming Tranny Bingo are seen at the venue. At the event, the word is thrown around casually in mixed company. This is a public use of the word, and not in group.
On the other side of the kerfuffle, we have Drag Queens using this event Image Provided by Skully Jones Photography Page 6 | www.proudtimes.com | May 2014
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If you want to call each other by a string of slurs and derogatory names in private moments, go for it. I get it. In our in groups, we “read each other the dozens”—that is to say, we often tease each other with inappropriate language. We say things in private we would never say in public. I would never seek to take that away from someone. “But this is our old school thing and we want to keep it!” I understand this and I feel for you. Honestly, I do. In fact, I was on the other side of this argument until recently. I would have defended the use of “Tranny Bingo” as reclamation of the word. But society is changing. We are becoming a worldwide community and, if we want to be effective as a bloc, we must get on the same page. Transsexual women in Australia started this and TS women in other countries are backing this call to stop with the slur. My Australian sisters who started this call for change are right. This word is derogatory for trans* women. There should be no further debate. There are words one does not use in polite conversation and in broadcast. The word “Tranny”, when applied to a trans* person, needs to be placed in the same pile we put “nigger,” “faggot,” and “kike.” Did those slur words make you feel icky? And you couldn’t believe I had the temerity to type them? That is how we feel about these words! Even RuPaul and LOGO have heard our voices in recent month. The words “Tranny” and “Shemale” have been retired on the show RuPaul’s Drag Race. We are asking the guys in charge of Tranny Bingo to follow the lead of other Drag Queens. Extreme lateral hostility has broken out between the two communities. It has gotten to the point of entrenchment and slur slinging on both
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sides. I have been guilty of participating in this word war as well. Feelings are hurt and egos are bruised. We cannot let this type of thing continue tearing the community apart. What do we do? How do we fix this? I do not know. I do know that something has to give‌ References: https://www.change.org/en-AU/petitions/ facebook-we-would-like-tr-nny-bingo-facebookand-the-venues-that-host-these-events-todesist-in-using-pronouns-terms-words-thathave-a-direct-negative-impact-on-the-transcommunity
http://guidetogay.com/videos/974-senior/ video/1131-wake-up-tranny-bingo-debate http://www.altmedia.net.au/an-open-letter-tothe-organisers-of-tranny-bingo/93189 http://www.heraldsun.com.au/entertainment/ sydney-drag-queens-fight-transgender-warriorindiana-kelly-edwards-over-right-to-use-theword-tranny/story-fnilxh2p-1226912905953 http://planetransgender.blogspot.com. au/2014/05/tranny-bingo-dissembling-gayprivilage.html
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TURNING UP THE VOLUME by Daniel Hafner
This year, at Spokane’s Inlander Volume Music Festival 2014, we were lucky enough to have Gaytheist play at Mootsy’s. A thrash rock band based in Portland, Oregon, the band is made up of Jason Rivera—lead vocals and guitar—Tim Hoff on bass, and Nick Parks on drums. I was able to meet with them before and after the show. They all were kind and down to earth guys—dedicated to their passion of music—and it showed. Once the music began, it was ferocious in all the right ways! Jason Rivera took some time out of his rock schedule to answer some questions online.
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Are you looking forward to seeing or playing with any bands in particular? I was hoping to finally catch Dust Moth, but they play at the same time as us. Plan to see Deadkill and Grenades, and I am particularly sad to be playing with Monogamy Party for the last time. They were the first band we befriended from Seattle, and they have helped us immeasurably throughout the years—and they kick ass! I wish they weren’t breaking up. We were just there on Saturday, otherwise we’d be head-banging to Tweak Bird on Friday. I’m unfamiliar with most Spokane bands, so I plan to get there early and see a bunch of stuff I’ve never heard before. Gaytheist has played Spokane before. What do you think of the city and the music scene? Our pal, Juicebox, usually goes on the road with us—and he is originally from Spokane. So he showed us some sites—like a burger joint, and a spot up in the hills where kids used to go to get high before it was legal. The show itself was pretty amazing, but we were playing with Red Fang and Helms Alee—so we were pretty spoiled with a big crowd of happy metal folks.
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As a touring band, what roles and personality traits would you use to describe each other? We’re all good friends. My role is to not talk their ears off too much. I don’t like to drive, so Tim and Nick and Juicebox split up the drives. I sort of manage the band. So I take care of the merch, and getting us paid, and booking the shows, and all that horribly boring non-rock and roll stuff. Since 2011, you have released five albums— the latest being Live from the Banana Stand (with live songs picked from each album). How were they selected and what are the differences between each record? We knew we only got one crack at playing each song for the live album. So, we played over 25 songs at the recording party and ended up being able to stomach 13 of them which made it onto the album. We just luckily played at least a few off each album well enough to not cringe when we hear them. Rush releases a live album after every four studio albums, so we’re just following in their power trio footsteps. Your band name is what first got my attention. Has this affected the band in a positive or negative way? I imagine I won’t ever know all the negative— as I figure there are times when we don’t get offered a show or opportunity due to someone’s weak sauce not letting them get over our name. People seem to either immediately love or hate the name. But, from my experience, I get way more “best band name ever!” than “that’s wrong because Derrrr Duuuuh Spluuudge.” Plus, we get to do things like play Mo Wave Seattle Queer Fest or PDX Queer Music Fest or this interview.
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As an out gay vocal/guitarist, how much does that play a role in your writing process? It’s so hard to play this big mean guitar with my limp little wrists! (Just kidding.) I tend to write stories from other (fictional or real life) characters’ point of views—and whenever I get into relationship territory, I pretty much only
write about the love between two men. Queer history is unfortunately filled to this day with tragedy and horror, and I fall into writing about those experiences often (“Pierre Seel” and “Spread ‘Em”)—but, sometimes I go for the lighter/ humorous side of two dudes in love (“Elderly Assassin”). Have you ever had any homophobic situations dealing with the music industry or while playing a show? Salt Lake City rules pretty hard for us. But, at our first show, there was some drunk dude leaving the club that screamed “faggot!” at me. I followed him out and demanded an apology. Then, he started rambling and I realized he didn’t even know where he was or what was going on. Also, it was easy to be brave because like six other dudes got in his face about it—but it defused, and that was that. I can’t really think of any other music-related, overtly homophobic
situations I’ve been in. ‘Yay’ for enlightenment in 2014! Our version of the music industry is working with amazing small labels (Good To Die, Eolian Empire, Banana Stand) that are run by straight dudes that could give a shit whether I was straight or gay—they care about the rock being fucking rocking. If we made a music video of just guys fucking, they’d be all “This song is bad ass!” and hopefully, “Those are some handsome fellas!” Do you feel that it’s important to use your music as a platform for the queer music community? Not really. I think it’s just more important that I speak my mind when the time is needed—and that I write songs about whatever the hell I want to. Even though I’m dressed as a pope on the cover of the Live at the Banana Stand album, I’m not interested in preaching to people (but I am interested in fabulous clothes!). I just enjoy being obviously gay on stage with my banter, and letting the music do the majority of the talking. I love the openness and comradery among my mostly straight band friends. Have you been influenced or inspired by any queer bands or musicians? Oh, yes. [I’m a] huge Owen Pallett and Rufus Wainwright fan—love me some Judas Priest, The Need, Hazel, Team Dresch, Magic Mouth, Baby Gurl, Big Dipper and Torche/Floor. All of those bands have directly influenced me both musically (clever lyrics, epic builds, raw emotion) and just how to be—Bowie and R.E.M., too. What do you hope people can take away from your music and experience when seeing a live performance? I just hope people have a good time and enjoy our songs. On occasion, a mosh pit
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will break out when are playing and, for the most part, they usually are filled with people hopping and dancing around with smiles on their faces. Nick is such a blast to watch on drums. He’s just out of hand and intense. Our name pretty much lays down the gauntlet. We don’t really have to say anything—people just know that we are Gaytheist and, if they have a problem with it, they can stay home and pout. You were able to arrive and enjoy The Volume on Saturday. How was your experience at the Inlander Music Festival? Pretty awesome. Boise and Spokane have really surprised me with how artist-friendly their music festivals are. Who did you get to see that you wanted to? I ended up catching Grenades, Flee the Century, Monogamy Party, Deadkill, Summer in Siberia, and a bit of Cold Blooded. What did you think about the Spokane crowd during your performance? They were stellar. It felt like a lot of bottled up energy was released that night. I didn’t know if anyone would care about anything after Monogamy Party tore the place to shreds, but people seemed to be really into what we’re doing. The human chain was beautiful. People were so rowdy—the drums kept getting knocked into and I was developing a fat lip from the mic smashing me so many times. Then, the whole front row of guys and girls locked arms and took the brunt of the dancers and allowed us to finish our set.
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Do you have plans on returning to Spokane in the near future? Yes! We are playing Totalfest this year in Missoula, Montana. On our way, we will be coming though Spokane on August 14th at The Big Dipper with an excellent band called Norska. We are excited to have them back in Spokane in August. When they come back to blast Spokane with another amazing show. Be sure to check out their profile on Loud and Proud for links to all things Gaytheist. Thank you Jason Rivera for taking the time to respond—and thank you to the band for the support and kindness.
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Featured Artists Meet Gaythiest
Meet Automatic Shoes
Check out what Semi Precious Weapons is doing and where you can catch them.
Atlantic Records has announced the release of Hedwig and the Angry Inch—Original Broadway Cast Recording,the musical companion to the eight-time TONY-nominated show starring Neil Patrick Harris. The release comes fifteen years after Atlantic released the cast recording for the original production in 1999.
Find these interviews, bios, press releases and more by visiting Loud and Proud’s website loudandproud.proudtimes.com, Proud Times’ out and proud entertainment website.
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Two-Spirit Peop
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ple of Montana by Debbi Sullivan
“Two-Spirit People� is a term for LGBT
Native Americans coined at the 1st National Two-Spirit Conference nearly 20 years ago. The Two-Spirit Society is dedicated to establishing equal rights for LGBT Native Americans within the tribes. I spoke with David Herrera and Steven Barrios, Co-Chairs of the Montana TwoSpirit Society, to learn more. The term for Two-Spirit People is different in each tribal language, but the practices and traditional social position of Two-Spirits is fairly consistent. The Two-Spirit movement encompasses an ideology that reconnects members to their heritage of respect and inclusion in all tribal concerns.
Two-Spirit people were ceremoniously respected by native societies due to religious attitudes. Two-Spirit people could do both the work of men and of women. They were considered hard workers and artistically gifted people who were greatly valued in their extended families and communities. Many Native American religions often looked to them as leaders and teachers. Ancestors of the Native Americans migrated from Siberia over 20,000 years ago. There have been reports of highly respected androgynous persons among indigenous Americans from Alaska to Chile. It was the introduction of Christian missionaries to the Native Americans, and the attitude of intolerance of homosexuality, that started degradation and prejudice for the Two-Spirit People among the tribes. The elders knew that the Two-Spirit people were honorable, but younger people were never told and the culture was lost. There are still tribal leaders who do not acknowledge the Two-Spirit People, though many reservations have embraced samesex marriage equality. In his youth, Steven experienced bullying, beatings, and being ostracized—mostly on the reservation. He went to his first gathering 18 years ago and met David, who organized the 1st TwoSpirit Gathering in Montana. He soon signed up with the Montana Two-Spirit Society.
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The Montana Two-Spirit Gathering is a weekend retreat for Native, First Nations, and Indigenous Two-Spirit people, their partners, family and friends. It will provide a safe, healthy, drug and alcohol free environment. There will be religious leaders and ceremonies which have included adoption, naming, face painting and sweat lodges. In a Capture ceremony, a blanket dance ends with someone being cloaked and welcomed as a member of the Blackfeet Tribe. Many states will be represented this year: Montana, California, Oklahoma, Arkansas and others—as well as Canada. This year’s Gathering is July 31st to August 3rd. The society relies on sponsorship and donations. Contact Steven Barrios at 406-470-1625, or visit their website at www.mttwospirit.org.
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Be Happy Be Mormon The Fabulous Black Sheep, Kimball Allen, debuts his Off-Broadway One-Man Show “Be Happy Be Mormon” at United Solo Festival, NYC. Seattle based Playwright/Performer, KIMBALL B. ALLEN, collaborates with director, EMMA HASSETT, for their first Off-Broadway premiere as part of the official selection of 2014 United Solo Theatre Festival. “Be Happy Be Mormon” is a voyeuristic look into the childhood of a Bambi-loving vegetarian, ballet slipper wearing, Diet Coke drinking gay Mormon Boy Scout. Allen’s one-man show will debut on September 24, 2014 at 7:30 PM at Theatre Row, 410 West 42nd Street, NYC. A Seattle preview of the play will take place on September 4, 2014 at 7:30 PM at Calamus Auditorium, Gay City, 517 East Pike Street, Seattle, WA. Washington State Senator, Marko Liias, will conduct a panel Q&A discussion following the September 4th engagement. Born into a large conservative Idaho family he doesn’t relate to, Kimball Allen chronicles his upbringing as a fabulous black sheep through colorful narration, private home movies, songs, dance and the occasional acrobatics in this hysterically tragic 60 minute performance. “Be Happy Be Mormon” is recommended for adults, theatre and the LGBTQA community. Playwright/Performer: Kimball Allen. Director: Emma Hassett. Producer: Scott Wells. Voice Talent: Keely Wolter. Marketing: Erin Schiedler. More than 130 one-person shows will participate in this year’s annual United Solo, the world’s largest festival of solo theatre. The Festival will not only feature award-winning,
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internationally renowned performers, but also emerging new talents and it will present shows in a wide variety of categories including drama, comedy, musical, mime, stand-up, and magic. There will be shows based on original texts, as well as adaptations from classic theatre and literature. Many of the shows at this year’s United Solo will be world premieres. New York City tickets are available now at Theatre Row box office, 410 West 42nd Street, New York, NY 10036, as well as over the phone at 212.239.6200 and online at telecharge.com. Tickets for the Seattle preview show are available July 1st online at strangertickets.com.
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Recently, I was lucky enough to be able to sit down and chat with George Takei (I assume he was sitting. I was at my kitchen table and he was in his—no doubt—luxury Manhattan penthouse). If by some weird chance you are not familiar with George Takei, he is a prominent actor, author, social justice activist, social media mega-power, subject of the documentary To Be Takei, star of Broadway-bound musical Allegiance—the list goes on and on. George Takei has a jaw-dropping amount of fans and followers, and a long and experienced career to back it up. Talking with him, it is easy to understand why so many people are drawn to him. He is intelligent, witty, well-versed, and has experienced things that most may never experience in their life. His contributions to fighting for equal rights is something we should all be grateful for and aspire to. George Takei is no doubt one of a kind. by J Charles Ballew
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You have over 190 screen acting credits and in 2012 it was reported you were the most influential person on Facebook. You also appeared on The Howard Stern Show, you are an activist for social justice, write books, host YouTube videos, make appearances, voice-overs and more. How do you find the time? I don’t like to be between engagements, so I make my own engagements—and that’s how I keep busy. As a matter of fact, right now—until you called—I’ve been going through some State Department reports. I’m going to South Korea next week, then to Japan for another week—speaking at various universities and organizations on U.S.-South Korea relations and U.S.-Japan relations. I’m keeping myself busy right now as we speak, reading State Department reports. Have you always been funny, or has it been something you’ve developed over time? Yes. That’s life, isn’t it? That’s my approach to life. My grandmother used to think of life as the human comedy and she was laughing at everything we did. I think that’s what helped her live for 104 years. My plan is to beat her in this race called life, and so I’m taking some of her hints and incorporating it into my life. That’s awesome. Is Brad Altman (husband and manager) your biggest critic and your biggest fan? He is my biggest fan and he makes my career possible with all the things he does to support it. He’s, as you know, my manager. Like when I do theater, and ... we’re going to be opening later this year here in New York with a musical that we developed called Allegiance—inspired basically by my family’s incarceration during the
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Second World War. In rehearsals ... after the day’s rehearsal ... we get notes from our director—but then, when I come back home, I get more notes from Brad. So yes, he is both my manager and my director—and my fan. And the love of your life Absolutely. Most of the biographies we’ve read about you point out how you were best known for your role as Sulu. Was it hard to get beyond Sulu? I think now I’ve gone way beyond being Sulu. Yes, at that time when we’re walking down the street, people shout out from their cars, “Hi, Sulu”—or, if on the sidewalk, they want a selfie with Sulu. Now, after all these years and certainly with the notoriety that Howard Stern gave me, they know me as George Takei. It’s okay to be Takei. Yes. That was when ... what was that issue? ... the Tennessee State Senator introduced a bill in the Tennessee State Senate, trying to criminalize the use of the word ‘gay’ by teachers ... of all people ... people who need to be there to counsel and give guidance and support to young people who are making discoveries about their sexual orientations. Instead, the State Senator wanted to criminalize teachers who wanted to help young people who thought, maybe, they were gay. If they use the word ‘gay’ in their teaching or in their private counseling, they would be thrown in jail and fined—I think it was something like $250, which was outrageous.
I found a way to get around that. You mock people who come up with silly pieces of legislation. I said, okay, if you can’t use the word ‘gay,’ my surname, Takei, rhymes with gay—so you can just use my surname in place of the word ‘gay,’ and march in a Takei Pride Parade—or at Christmastime, you can sing “Don we now our Takei apparel, Fa la la la la, la la la la.” Everybody hooted at that suggestion, and embarrassed the State Senator, and that’s when we coined the phrase also, “It’s okay to be Takei.” If you want to say, “it’s okay to be gay,” but you can’t say ‘gay,’—then say, “It’s okay to be Takei.” That bill was defeated, but that stupid, ignorant State Senator is relentless. He’s coming up with another bill trying to ... how was it worded ... if a teacher suspects that one of his or her students is gay, then he or she has to report that to their parents. We’ve got to find a way to get that defeated, too. That man is relentless, but that’s what happens in Eastern Tennessee. That can be anybody on the playground getting called ‘fag’ by a bully. Exactly. (Jeremy Ballew) What do you feel is the best way to combat that type of mentality? Well, he gets reelected because his district is a very ill-educated district. People are ignorant. What we need to do, looking at a bigger picture, is to ... on the national level ... and it’s starting to happen on a national level ... raise the understanding of what it means to have a sexual orientation. Those words, ‘sexual orientation’ ... people try to label it ‘gay lifestyle.’ It is not a lifestyle. It is an organic orientation that we have.
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Last year ... last summer, the United States Supreme Court ruled favoring marriage equality and now we have marriage equality in 17 states, and there’s another hunk of a number of states that have had their amendment to their constitution declared unconstitutional— their amendment that bans marriage equality declared unconstitutional, and that’s being appealed. I tell those people when I pledge allegiance to the flag, I pledge allegiance to one nation under God, indivisible—underscoring indivisible—with liberty and justice for all, and we will make this the United States of America. To deal with people like Stacey Campfield— that’s his name—from Eastern Tennessee, we have to educate his constituency and nationally raise that awareness and understanding and enlightenment... and the Human Rights Campaign has targeted Mississippi, Alabama and Arkansas—three southern states that share the similar kind of level of understanding as (Tennessee). It’s a long process—a slow process, but we will ultimately prevail. (Charles Ballew) Definitely. Getting back to your acting, have you seen a change in Hollywood’s attitude towards Asian actors going from stereotypes to lead actors, or even starring roles? That is starting to happen now, and it’s a dramatic difference from when I started back in the ‘50s. It was a very, very stereotyped time back then, but we still have a long way to go. Today, we have Asians—as well as other minorities—as regulars on most of the TV series. If you’re taking place in a major city in this country, it is diverse. The American scene is made up of many people, and that’s being reflected in the casting of television series and certain individual shows have dealt with Asian
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American issues, but we still don’t have Asian Americans as bankable stars. Once we get that, that becomes possible. We start coming to the point where we can tell stories from the vantage point of an Asian American. That’s happened with the African Americans now. Denzel Washington is a bankable star. Whatever movie he does, the story is from the vantage point of the African American experience. I think we’re richer for having that kind of story told. We get a better understanding of the vitality of this nation by seeing the stories of the minorities told from their vantage point. Same thing with gay stories. When we get a bankable gay star—that’s out and popular and box office—then the story can be told from the gay vantage point. That’s going to enrich the storytelling of the diverse communities of America. Right now, with the Asian American community, we still have yet to get to that point where we have bankable Asian American stars. I can see that. Has it been more difficult for you being an open Asian actor or an openly gay actor? You know, it’s been a world of difference. Many, many doors have opened up that I didn’t expect. For example, shortly after I spoke to the press for the first time as a gay man back in 2005, I started getting cast in guest roles on so many TV shows as gay George Takei—as me, a person who’s gay on those shows. I got the invitation from The Howard Stern Show to be the official announcer, where it’s broadcast throughout the country as my being a gay person. Yes, the opportunity landscape for me has opened up unexpectedly in so many ways—in
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so many arenas since coming out. However, we still have closeted leading men, romantic leading men— and that, too, ultimately will come to pass, where those people can be out and still be able to play romantic lead roles, because we are actors—we act the characters that we play. Do you see it as going from playing gay for pay to non-gay for pay? Mm hmm (affirmative). That’s what I’ve been doing—because we’re actors. I don’t have to have committed a murder to be able to play a murderer. We are actors. I don’t have to have been married to a woman to play a straight husband. I’m an actor. You were interned as a child due to arrogance ... or ignorance, rather. Do you have any ill will towards your home country for that action, or did you at that time? I was a child. I just turned five years old on April 20th—and in May, American soldiers with bayonets on their rifles—two of them came marching up our driveway, banged on the front door, and ordered my family out—literally at gunpoint, and took us to ... first, to a horse stable. There were a lot of other Japanese American families there, because the camps were being built. Once the construction was finished, then we were put on trains with armed soldiers at both ends of each train, and taken two-thirds of the way across the country to the swamps of Arkansas.
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This happened because of three things: war hysteria, racial prejudice, and failure of political leadership. Every politically elected official joined in on that hysteria, except for one elected official—a person of principle and courage—the governor of Colorado—a man named Ralph Carr, who had the principle and the gumption— the balls to stand up and say, “This is wrong. This is unconstitutional. These are American citizens who have done nothing wrong. They’re innocent. What is being done here is a travesty on these people, and a besmirching of our Constitution.” For that, his political career was destroyed. Another example on the flip side, in California, we had an Attorney General who knew the law. He was a lawyer—the top lawyer in the State of California, but he was ambitious. He wanted to be elected Governor, and he saw that the single most popular issue in California back then was ‘to get rid of the Japs issue’—and so he ran on that platform, and won the election, and he was reelected twice after that. (He) served for three terms as Governor of California. Then, he was eventually appointed the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States—a man like that. His name is—I think you’ll recognize it—Earl Warren—the so-called ‘Liberal Chief Justice of the United States.’ He never owned up to that seedy and dark past—his past. What was life like for a ten-year-old Japanese American living in California in early ‘50s? I was out of the camp by then in Los Angeles ... ten years old. Our first home when we came out ... and I was eight years old—almost nine then. Our first home was on Skid Row in downtown Los Angeles. We were penniless. They took everything from us. When we were let out of the camps, we were given $25 and a one-way ticket to wherever we
wanted to go in the United States. My parents decided to go back to where we came from— Los Angeles, but housing was impossible. Getting a job was impossible. My father’s first job was as a dishwasher in a Chinatown restaurant. Only other Asians would hire us. Our first home was on Skid Row. Being released ... coming back home ... was not ‘happy days are here again.’ It was a grim and hostile situation that we came back to. I started school and my first teacher, the first semester, was a wonderful teacher. But my second teacher—a lady named Mrs. Rugin—I’ll never forget that lady ... continually called me ‘the little Jap boy’ ... which stung. You know, if I raised my hand to answer a question, she never called on me. She looked the other way and pretended not to see me. I hated that teacher. But that’s the kind of coming home we had. My heroes are my parents. They were determined to get back on our feet and they worked their fingers to the bones—educated three children at fine universities. I went to Berkeley and UCLA. My brother went to USC and Marquette University and my sister went to UCLA as well. Coming back home was a heroic thing for my parents, and I’m eternally grateful to them. I did see in one of your interview clips that your father lost all of his books in the process. He paid rent on a storage unit to hold the books, and when you returned, they were gone. And we had no recourse. The people said, “Well, it’s gone. What are you going to do about it?” We were Japanese Americans who were just released from a prison camp—U.S. prison camp. We were completely helpless. It was an outrageous and shameful situation. But then—when I became a teenager—I wanted
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to understand something of my boyhood, childhood, incarceration. I had a lot of afterdinner conversations with them. Just what I learned from those conversations was my father telling me that our democracy is a people’s democracy. It can be as great as the people can be, but it’s also as fallible as people are. Our democracy is dependent on good people being actively engaged in the process. Sometimes holding democracy speaks to the fire, but the ideals of this country are the best there is. There have been several documentary films made about the internment, but only a few major released films—and none of those were made until after 1990. Why do you think it took so long for America to embrace what they did to over a 120,000 people in the ‘40s? Because still today, there are so many Americans that would seem otherwise well informed—that don’t know about that shameful chapter of our history. That’s why we developed this musical, Allegiance. It tells the story of the internment as experienced by Japanese Americans—from the Japanese American vantage point—from our lens, so to speak. That’s why I said a little bit earlier—it’s so important to develop stars who can tell the story of the diversity of this country from the vantage point of the people that experienced that story. Do you feel that the experience of internment was in any ways similar to the struggle the gay movement had in the late ‘60s, women have had, blacks have had— other people of minority have had? The blacks had a totally different experience. I mean, it was many, many generations. It was a couple of centuries, and so I don’t equate the
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imprisonment of Japanese Americans to their history—the really grotesque history of slavery in this country. However, our democracy has a checkered history. What happened with Native Americans—the Trail of Tears—the Latino experience in the southwest. So yes, we do have a history that we need to be mindful of, and understand that what made that happen is within the framework of the shining ideals of our American democracy. We need to work hard to expand justice and equality, and try to get closer to that ideal society that was envisioned. Our ideals are good. It’s just that the human beings who have to implement those ideals are made up of fallible people—and we fail it sometimes. That’s true. You mentioned Allegiance. You’re now working on Broadway on a play called Allegiance—or you’re planning for that? No, not yet. We did it in San Diego. We had a sold out run which had to be extended. We broke the 77-year history record of (being the highest grossing production). We broke the box office and attendance record of The Old Globe Theatre and, at the end of the run, we wound up winning the Best Musical of the Year award from the San Diego Critics Circle. That was our world premiere—although, the New Yorkers called it ‘the out of town tryout.’ Now, we are transferring from there to Broadway—the biggest and most important stage in America.
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What can you tell us about the role you’re playing? I’m playing two roles. The role of a veteran of the Second World War... my character Sam is played by—when he is young—is played by Telly Leung, a younger actor. But then I play that character—older—a veteran and now old, who’s returned from the war and aged considerably, and I’m at the funeral of my sister. I also play my own grandfather—so I play two very interesting roles that are quite different from each other. And we have a documentary coming out as well—Brad and me. It’s called To Be Takei. We premiered at the Sundance Festival in January, and it’ll be hitting the theaters in August. Do watch for To Be Takei as well. That has many, many scenes from our San Diego performance of Allegiance. Awesome! That’ll be a major film release? It’s a documentary. Documentaries aren’t considered major releases like Spiderman or Batman. Or Star Trek. Or Star Trek. You’re right. Can you imagine, in 2 more years, Star Trek will be 50 years old. It’ll be the golden anniversary of Star Trek. That’s amazing. Paramount is planning another feature film to celebrate that golden anniversary. All except James Doohan are still alive? The original cast members? DeForest Kelley has passed as well.
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Sorry to hear that. And Majel Barrett and Gene Roddenberry. We lost a good number of our key personnel. True. Of course everyone wants their Broadway show to run forever. What are your hopes for Allegiance? Yes. I share that hope with you. We had a sold out run that was extended in San Diego, and I hope that our run is a very, very long one. We have a very creative, imaginative producer. You can’t start selling tickets until you get a theater, because you don’t know when you’re going to be able to deliver on that—but he’s come up with a fantastic idea. He calls it the Allegiance Priority Access Pass. For $5, you can get in line to be able to buy a pair of tickets for any performance in any section of the theater—before the tickets go on sale to the public. In other words, you’re buying a place in line, but you do it over the internet. It’s in the ether. You’re getting your place in line before the ticket goes on sale to the public. We’ve sold about 5,000 of those already. Which means, each priority pass is for two seats—so we’ve already sold 10,000 seats (or the access to 10,000 seats)—and that’s ensuring a good long run for us when it goes on sale publicly. In fact, do tell people to go to allegiancemusical.com and you can buy your priority access pass, and make that line even better—and you’ll be assured of getting into the performance you want. Many people in San Diego had to be turned away—and despite the fact that we extended it in their convenience, their calendar, so people
missed out on it. They’re planning to come to New York so that they can see the play. We got great reviews in San Diego. Great. We get limited run Best of Broadway shows here, but they’re few and far between. Do you think Allegiance will ever make it this far? We intend to run in New York for a long time. After maybe a year, we might organize a road
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company that will travel throughout the United States, and we’ll also organize a Canadian company in Toronto—because the same thing happened to Japanese Canadians as well. They were put into prison camps in Canada— so it’s a story that Canadians will understand as well. Our road company will keep on running as long as there’s an audience for it. I know Seattle will most definitely be on the tour. If you can
convince our producer that Spokane will have a good strong base support for us, I’m sure he’ll go there too.
I totally agree with you. I have seen the movie about the internment camp where they were using baseball as recreation.
We don’t have the Asian population that a city like San Francisco or Seattle has…
We have a baseball number in Allegiance as well. It’s a wonderful production number with great choreography.
This isn’t an Asian story. This is an American story. Americans need to know about it. As a matter of fact, in San Diego, the audience was 85% non-Asian.
It sounds incredible. I’d really like to see it. It’s also very credible, too. ‘Incredible’ means ‘unbelievable’—and so I said, “It’s also very
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credible.” It did happen. It’s a true story. We actors don’t consider people coming up to us and saying, “Oh, your performance was incredible” ... it’s not a flattering comment. Have you spent much time in the Pacific Northwest? As a matter of fact, I have visited your hometown many, many times. I served for 11 years on the Southern California Rapid Transit District Board of Directors, and I was the Vice-President of the American Public Transit Association. We had many regional conferences.
I think it’s just because of the route that they chose ... My running days now are reduced to short runs in the neighborhood. I may go there to cheer on some friends who may go up there to participate in the 12K run, but I don’t think I’ll be running that. Well, you can walk it. It’s something I would have done in my old running days. I used to travel all over to do runs like ... Have you heard of the Bay to Breakers Run in San Francisco?
When we had conferences concerning public transportation in the Northwest, they weren’t all held in Seattle. We moved them about—to Portland, Oregon or to Spokane. One of the things I remember about Spokane is down the river, near the rapids, there’s a restaurant that has a name like a law office ... Sprinkerdagger, Clinker ...
I have.
Clinkerdagger?
There’s a world-renowned Ironman that runs in Coeur d’Alene, Idaho—which is about 30 miles from Spokane.
Yeah, that’s the restaurant. I remember because it had a very distinctive name. Being an avid runner, have you heard of Spokane’s Bloomsday Run? Frankly, no. I haven’t. Tell me about it. It’s a 12K fun run that incorporates a lot of the undulations of the environment here in Spokane. Oh, that’s very unusual ... in that it’s a 12K. Usually they’re 5K or 10K, but never a 12K. So that’s one of a kind.
We’ve done that about three times—Brad and I. I take it you’re not ready for an Ironman then. Oh, definitely not. That’s madness.
Oh, in Coeur d’Alene. There’s a very famous Ironman run in Honolulu, Hawaii. I’ve done six marathons, but never an Ironman. I run for my health—not to kill myself. You’re 77—you probably don’t need to be running an Ironman. No. I intend to, as I said, live past 104—my grandmother’s age. Well then, Facebook is going to see a whole lot more of you. Yes, it is.
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You do live in L.A. Is that correct? Well, we’re bi ... coastal. Bicoastal? We have an apartment here and a home in Los Angeles—and our principal home is Los Angeles. Do you think that living in one of the largest Gay Meccas could give a person a false sense of what’s happening with gay rights in the rest of the world? I do think you’re right there. When you read about what’s happening in Africa, it is monstrous. I mean, you’re murdered, you’re killed in ... Uganda? ... Uganda, if you’re seen to be gay. I tried to get the Winter Olympics out of Sochi because Russia passed the Gay Propaganda Bill—I think it is what they called it. What that did was it sent out the message to hooligans that they have free license to attack anybody that they presumed to be gay, and people were beaten up—some so horrifically that there were a couple of people that died. The Olympics which has those high principles of equality, people competing together ... people of the world competing together ... it was outrageous to hold the Winter Olympics there in Russia. Just the previous Winter Olympics was held in Vancouver, where there was a dramatic contrast. They have a Pride tent there where LGBT people ... athletes ... could go to celebrate with their friends and family. It was outrageous. Even during the Sochi Olympics in Kamchatka, there was another attack by hooligans on a gay person who ... the attack was so brutal ... that
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that person died. There are horrible things happening to LGBT people throughout the world. We do live in a sheltered society ... all the big cities—because LGBT people are all over the United States in rural areas. You know, Brokeback Mountain wasn’t an extraordinary situation. I mean, that took place in what? Wyoming? ... South Dakota ... some place like that. You know, in those rural areas, gay people have a very challenging time—and there are other small towns like ... I think ... in Western Pennsylvania, where the population is a few hundred. I brought Jeremy to Spokane from a very small town in Central Utah, so we can certainly relate to that. I know there are gay people everywhere. I was traveling with my parents years ago ... I think it was my 30th birthday. We’d gone to Carlsbad Cavern in New Mexico, and then went to a nearby town that night for dinner. I told my mother, “It must really be difficult being gay in a town as small as this.” She asked what I was referring to, and I told her that the boy behind the counter was gay. She asked how I knew he was gay? We just know … “We’re like VISA. We’re everywhere you want to be.” You are absolutely right. We need to be aware of that fact—that there are kindred brothers and sisters throughout the country, and they don’t have the kind of open, supportive, vibrant community that we enjoy in big cities. How do you stay connected to the small town gay person that has nowhere to turn for help or comfort?
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Fortunately, we live in the age of the internet. People can stay connected via Facebook, Twitter, emails—so that we do have that kind of sharing, or ways to build a community through the internet. How do you think popular media portrays the Out and Proud Community and our fight for equal rights on a national and international level? It’s social media that helps us be informed on what’s happening in places like Africa and Russia. I have a friend who is very much on top of what’s happening in Russia, because he’s in email contact with a couple of gay people in Russia. Certainly, the media has picked up on what’s happening in Uganda and other parts of Africa. Uganda is not the only place. Once the media picks up on it, we’re informed about it ... Arab Spring happened because of social media ... Twitter. We live in an amazing world now—one that didn’t exist just a decade ago. That’s true. What’s the biggest challenge you face as being a prominent figure on social media and film? A challenge I face? Not having enough time. It’s become the obsessive thing ... I mean demanding—it’s become really a dictator of our lives. I’ve got a meeting coming up, and I’ve got to get this State Department report read before I have that meeting. So, I’m going to have to start winding up this conversation pretty soon. That’s a challenge. You asked about challenge. You reminded me of the challenge we have of time. Time is relentless.
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Where do you think we should be focusing our energies on the fight for equal rights? Here in the United States, we need to be focusing on both the local level and the national level. Big sweeping changes are happening because of the enlightenment now that is starting to happen on the national level. We have the President of the United States who supports equality for LGBT people—and the Supreme Court is there. But, on the local level, there’s that Tennessee State Legislature with people like Stacey Campfield—or, I recall a School Board Vice-Chair in a small town in Arkansas who said, “bullying is alright, AIDS is good because that’s killing gays and we’ll have fewer of them. Bullying is contributing to gays committing suicide, and that’s alright because that’s going to make fewer gays in our community.” Ignorant and sadistic comments like that being made by a school board member, a Vice-Chair at that ... so we need to focus both on the local level, as well as on the national level. I agree. After you came out to your family, did they treat you differently? My father passed and my mother was initially ... it was difficult ... but she knew Brad as my friend, as my buddy. It wasn’t an idea or a faceless person. Shortly after that, she became very ill with Alzheimer’s and couldn’t take care of herself, so we moved her in with us. Brad became like a son to her. Sometimes, I’d have to go off on location filming, and Brad cared for her and loved her—and she loved him like a son. When you come out, it’s always an adjustment for members of the family—but if they love you, they will come through.
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I have one more question. Okay. Last one. When did you start saying “Oh my!” and how did it become a trademark phrase? I’ve been saying it all my life. It’s a common phrase—but when I did Howard Stern ... I mean, there are so many outrageous things that happened on The Howard Stern Show ... that the only reaction you can have is, “Oh my!” ... and he had it on tape. Whether I’m there or not, whenever someone says or does something outrageous, he just presses a button and my voice comes on. That’s how it came to be the signature—the George Takei signature phrase. We at Proud Times would like to thank George for taking the time to speak with us. He’s very busy fighting for equal rights all over the world, and we were very fortunate he was willing to take time out of his day to speak with us. I would like to thank Brad Takei, for putting us in contact with George. However, without the relentless efforts of our Managing Editor, Kurt, none of this would have been possible.
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by Ram Michael
We are approaching the equality we’ve so long been seeking, and now it is time for the seamlessness of all persons to take place. We all have a vision, a burning desire to fulfill our dreams. We all want to know that we matter— especially that we matter to ourselves. Sure it’s nice to be validated, enjoyed, and supported, but it’s especially important for us to know that we value ourselves enough to go after what it is our hearts most truly desire. For some, that’s a business. For others, it’s a family. For some, it’s a lifestyle. But for most, it’s all of them. No matter, as long as we stay true to our path, we are happy—for that would mean that we are living our most authentic lives and being the real you. We’re all in this together, and truly recognizing that (and our own wholeness) is the name of the game. There is room for all of us to be whole, simply because we are. There is room for all of us to prosper—for all of our businesses and finances to hit high digits—in our accounts, and in our contentment. There is no reason for competition, because the world has plenty and we just have to get on board with its abundance by being on board for yourself and your vision. The unity first has to come from within, and then we can all share it with each other. People often find themselves in situations, relationships, and jobs that don’t feel right to them. So often, we are out of integrity with ourselves and life never fails to show us when
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that is—in the form of chaos and dismay. Whether through feelings of unbalance or turmoil, life has a way of letting us know. Life fights for us. It will not allow us to hush the voice of authenticity for too long. It will let us know when we have allowed an imposter self to embody the real us. But who is “The Real You?” I believe it is that most peaceful part of you that just knows—the part of you that allows yourself to dream big, and to never think that any of your dreams are too big. When we connect with ourselves and allow our wise person to speak— you know, that person inside our brains that offers us the truest guidance, the most peaceful guidance—we are led to the promised land we’ve all dreamed of. The wise person doesn’t always make rational sense to us, but then again our rational minds are the ones that sent us astray. It is about belief in your life. Believing in yourself enough to just trust. No one knows more about what you need and are than you do. People try to size you up and insinuate ideas about you, but they are just trying to make their own world safe, familiar, and in tune with their heart’s desire. The only one with all the answers is you. People often speak about believing in yourself and your ideas, but I would like to suggest that there is a step far before this one. That step is the honoring and listening of yourself to allowing you to be you. You being yourself is the greatest business and life you have. You don’t need to go to school or any place to get it. It is what you were born
with. And though most of us have to spend time rummaging through the muck of what we, society, family, and community have layered upon that instinctual inner knowing, it is right there for the unveiling. It was always there, and it will always be there. It might have been too early, but it is never too late. It was waiting for you to make a decision to be your own best friend and get behind, in front of, and on both sides of every morsel of your heart’s desire.
Ram Michael
Now, that’s self-love!
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10 Reasons t 10. Creative Ideas Wedding planners are a huge creative resource. They listen to your vision and dreams for your wedding. They bring their creativity to the process to help your vision come alive. Pinterest is great for inspiration, but a wedding planner can help you narrow down the board of 72 DIY projects to a manageable and realistic amount. Wedding planners have seen it all, and they know the quick tricks that can help you get more bang for your buck! They also know what is worth buying, renting, and what is worth making.
9. Big Picture When you pick a venue, they often give you a “wedding coordinator” from the venue to help coordinate the day. This person is not the same as an independent planner. This is usually the venue’s catering manager. Their job is to ensure that everything having to do with the facility runs smoothly. While they are helpful, they do not cover the scope of what an independent planner does. An independent planner will handle every last detail over the entire spectrum of your wedding—from finding and
Image Provided by Skully Jones Photography
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to Hire a Wedding Planner by Ricki Zipkin supervising vendors, providing timelines, staging the ceremony, cueing musicians, greeting late arrivals, making announcements, updating family and special guests, helping with the décor, and so much more. The wedding planner will be the last one out of the building after every last piece of decor is taken down.
8. Budgeting and Saving $$ Wedding planners have been in the industry for some time. They know what things should cost and the difference in value. Wedding planners are seasoned in quality versus quantity, and they have the ability to negotiate for the best deals around. They can help you navigate the often confusing waters of wedding industry price tags and up-selling. They balance your budget around your priorities. Wedding planners know what is necessary and what is not. We can catch mistakes that can be costly.
7. Enjoyable Process You are planning one of the biggest days of your life. Quite often, by the time the wedding comes, the process has become so stressful you can’t wait for it to be over—or wonder why you didn’t just elope. Planning your wedding should be a fun and enjoyable process. A good wedding planner helps you enjoy your journey.
6. Mediator A good planner serves as a buffer in tricky situations. Your wedding planner is a safe, neutral person to point to for direction. It’s easier to tell your future mother-in-law, “My planner thinks we need to…”—instead of, “I think we should….”
5. Timeline Your wedding day will involve numerous vendors who need to work together to ensure that the day goes smoothly. A planner understands how each vendor relies on the others and serves as the team captain who coordinates the complexities of the timeline with all its moving parts. The planner is also the go-to person if the vendor is lost or forgets something that was in the contract. After your wedding, your planner will follow up with all of the vendors and will be your voice when something was paid for, but not delivered.
4. Knowledge Base This is likely your first time planning a wedding. Planners have been in the industry for years and are experts in protocol, etiquette and everything it takes to pull off an event of such magnitude. They are a huge and readily accessible resource for education.
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3. Background In addition to possessing a wealth of knowledge, planners have been in the industry long enough to know who the players are— which vendors can be trusted, and who have the best business practices. A referral from someone who has roots in the industry is gold when you are choosing your vendors. A good wedding planner will guide you and help you make the choices that will provide years of happy memories.
2. The Oh-No! Moment Planners are there when your “friendors” fall through. It is great to use the resources that friends offer, but be aware that they might not be able to come through. Your friend Josh offers to play DJ with his new sound board and Ipod, but a few days before the wedding his gear goes missing—the planner can find the only DJ left in town that is available on the second Saturday in August! Your friend Sarah offers to arrange your flowers, but doesn’t
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realize that her order needs to be placed 10 days prior and that a retainer is needed for delivery—the planner has the contacts to order those last minute arrangements The number one reason to hire a wedding planner…
1. Stress The difference in the stress level of a couple who has a professional planner and one who doesn’t is palpable. When it comes to the day of your wedding, the most important thing is that you are able to relax and enjoy it. You are the bride/groom. You don’t want to end up being the point person for issues and questions that will inevitably arise. Hiring a planner frees you and everyone you love to live in the moment on your wedding day. You should be a guest at your wedding—and the planner makes that possible.
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Miss the beginning? Catch up with the story in previous issues of Proud Times!
would be. A cautious strip tease of hood, gloves, shoes... Jasp’s long arms were bare in a muscle shirt, though muscle might not have been the right word when he wore it. Knees poked out from torn jeans. His deranged mind seeped into the room through his messed thin blond hair. Body hair poking out, fingers cut, red and scabby here and there from vengeful car parts, a nervous sweat on his face. He looked deliciously trailer park— in the best of ways. “You don’t want me to have any friends,” Skuff observed out loud. Wool cap dropped to the floor. “I should come first,” Jasp opined, regrettably out loud. “Sean and Rhonda made me feel like I was this big” (his thumb and forefinger crushed the air between them repeatedly as his eyes blinked along with them).
Skuff thought over the eternal love that had recently united him and Jasp, but he was tired of thinking—and really tired of over-thinking. He’d spent his whole marriage over-thinking. Then he ripped himself out of it as painfully as pulling off a bandage after a hernia operation. The Rhonda drama played in his head constantly, like a bad musical that refused to close. Then came Rolie, and now Jasper piling on more and more spectacle over such trivial incidents. After all the fights he’d had with himself, Skuff didn’t have the stomach to go at it with Jasp. But they hadn’t talked in a few days, so it was time to speak up or move on. He stood in the mechanic’s garage, slowly taking stuff off, not sure how welcome he
“If you don’t wanna go, stay home.” Still by the door, Skuff hadn’t been granted permission to do anything but drop outerwear on concrete. “I just want to be with you.” Jasp looked into the engine. He liked cars better because they never talked back. “I’ve never been with any man but you,” said Skuff. Glove off to reveal his big clunky hand. “I don’t know what more you want from me. I’m really new to this world. If it’s just a bunch of guys fighting over stupid shit, I’ll stay out of it. Everybody wants the furnace man. It won’t be that hard to get laid.” “I don’t even know your real name. It can’t be Skuff.” Still looking into the engine like it was Dear Abby.
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Skuff put that clunky hand into his pocket and took out a driver’s license while his coat hit the floor—saw himself and Jasp in a long mirror behind the car. So mismatched—on the internet, so many gay couples looked almost identical, like they could just date that mirror instead of each other. “My daddy’s best friend was called Skuffman. So I’m named for him.” Jasper read off the card... Skuff Andrew Watt. “I was Andy growing up. But I’m grown up now. You’re trying to put me in a cage. Already did that for ten years of marriage. Already gave up most of what was my life when I called you. This is all you get.” Sweatshirt off, down to a ripped dark blue t-shirt. Jasp liked how Skuff’s chest filled it out—it irritated him that he still found the man attractive in such ugly circumstances.
And because to many men’s eyes, he looked broken and trashy—and they liked it. Still, “how did that happen” became the most embarrassing yet most often posed question of his life. He’d heard every joke imaginable, and wondered how much worse it got at the nurses station where he couldn’t hear. He became immune to it, but Skuff made that wound fester once again. “How many guys was it?” Skuff dropped his license into the pile. “Talk to me and not the damn car.” “Was what?” finally Jasper closed the trunk, felt so horribly exposed. “Did you even know him? Because every time I kiss you I see you choking on some faceless Navy boy. That’s what I deal with, and I don’t bludgeon you with it.” Jasper grew up in an antigay world, where working on cars was macho and working on men was not. He trusted most men barely long enough for a quick encounter, which was why early 20s military guys in Coos Bay made the most sense. But this one guy Steve kept coming back, and Jasp started to like him. White guy, light brown hair, body like Skuff—but more in shape. Tough hands, awesome biceps, barrel chest. And cocky. He’d lay on his back, throw his arms up over his head and just say “awright, boy.”
***** For too long, Jasper’s identity was the broken jaw. The story of Navy Seal—the homophobic homosexual who slugged him and put him in the hospital would occasionally win Jasp sympathy sex after the telling.
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Jasper always left out the part of the story, even to himself, where he tried to blackmail Steve into loving him back. Steve was married and wouldn’t risk an angry wife or being kicked out of the don’t-ask-don’t-tell service. He wouldn’t leave the wife, even if Jasper was soooo much better as he crooned oh so loud and oh so often.
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“Maybe she should know that,” Jasper threatened once.
my life and you can be my blowjob boy on the side—just like you were for the U.S. Navy.”
Steve got scared. He reminded Jasper he could kill if necessary, then whapped him in the jaw. Didn’t mean to break it. He stuffed himself into his clothes while Jasper lay stunned on the ground. Then he ran off. Jasper volunteered to take the blame and never pursued justice.
Jasper turned away from Skuff’s stare which almost held him like a vise; it was like snapping a rope. Too many conflicting emotions. Good lookin’ Navy dude, Coast Guard, Marine—once the uniform was off, who could tell? Yeah, he liked it a lot— made him feel good for those minutes, but feel bad at the same time. Letting himself be used by whoever, whatever, whenever. The slug to the jaw was well-deserved, he figured. He brought it on himself because, in America, people who enjoy sex deserve consequences. But to avoid it again, he’d have to make changes. It was hard to let go of the past when it followed him to every meal.
That’s why Jasp wouldn’t mess with Skuff while he was married. That’s why when Skuff called him so many months later, he felt it could mean something if Skuff held him in his heart so long. “You were still thinking of me,” Jasper recalled. “You’re tough and I’m not. I need that, if you won’t hurt me. But now, I don’t know.” Skuff wasn’t feeling all that sympathetic. “We all have our stories,” he thought out loud. “I don’t want to pay for what he did to you.” “Rolie makes me queasy. Sean does, and your wife does.” Jasper’s eyes were watering as he was deciding what was more important— having Skuff or having his way. “I’m just trying to protect myself.” “So I need to stay away from them? Your list of enemies and my list of friends are pretty much the same.” Jasper looked away; he didn’t want to be tantalized and brutalized at the same time. Skuff wouldn’t ease up. He came up to the hood of the car. Always the same hood of the same car. Looked into Jasper close up. “What’s this about? I haven’t known you long enough to have this kind of fight. I’ll just live
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“Skuff, I love you. I’ll try to do better.” Now Skuff felt like an abusive husband. He’d already been a terrible husband long enough. “Jasp…” he whispered. He was torn between slugging him back in the jaw or kissing him tenderly. Fortunately he chose the latter. There was a question in the kiss. Would it be the last one? Let go let go let go, kiss him like it’s either the first time or the last. Everyone says let go of the past, but Skuff could see ghosts in the mirror trying to rap him on the back of the head.
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RESOURCES Out & Proud Non-profit Organizations
Inland Northwest Business Alliance (INBA) 9 S. Washington, Ste. 618 Spokane WA 99201 509/455-3699
Imperial Sovereign Court of Spokane (ISCS) P.O. Box 65 Spokane WA 99210-0065
Inland Northwest Lgbt Center 9414-A E. 1ST Ave. Spokane Valley WA 99206 (509) 326-6847
Odyssey Youth Center 1121 S. Perry St. Spokane WA 99202 509/325-3637
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OutSpokane P.O. Box 883 Spokane WA 99201-0883 509/720-7609
Blue Mountain Heart to Heart 1520 Kelly Place, Suite 120 Walla Walla, WA 99362 509-529-4744
Pride Foundation Farand Gunnels Regional Development Organizer For Eastern Washington P.O. Box 2194 Spokane WA 99210 509/481-0402
Spokane PFLAG Spokane PFLAG P.O. Box 10292 Spokane WA 99209 509/593-0191
College Groups Central Washington University Diversity Education Center Student Union And Recreation Center, Room 250 400 East University Way Ellensburg WA 98926-7455 509/963-2127
North Idaho Aids Coalition 2201 N Government Way Coeur d’Alene, ID Phone # (208) 665-1448 Toll Free#: (866)609-1774
May2014 | www.proudtimes.com | Page 59
Eastern Washington University Pride Center 105 Showalter Hall Cheney WA 99004 509/359-7870
North Idaho College Gay/ Straight Alliance
Spokane Community College ST:GLOBAL QSA Betsy Lawrence – Advisor 509/533-8103
Gonzaga University GLBT Resource Center Unity Multicultural Education Center
Spokane Falls Community College – The Alliance
730 E. Boone – 2Nd Floor Spokane WA 99202 509/313-5847
Barbara Williamson – Advisor 509/533-4507
Gonzaga University School Of Law – Outlaws
University Of Idaho GayStraight Alliance ASUI Office – Idaho Commons, Room 302 Moscow ID 83844
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University Of Idaho LGBTQA Office PO Box 441064 Moscow ID 83844 208/885-6583
Washington State University Women’s Resource Center Wilson Hall, Room 8 PO Box 644005 Pullman WA 99164-4005 509/335-6849
Places of Worship Bethany Presbyterian Church 2607 S. Ray St Spokane WA 99223 509/534-0066
St. Clare Ecumenical Catholic Community Spokane WA 99224
Washington State University GLBTA PO Box 647204 CUB 401 Pullman, WA 99164-7204 509/335-8841
Unitarian Universalist Church of Spokane 4340 W. Fort Wright Drive Spokane WA 99224 509/325-6383
May 2014 | www.proudtimes.com | Page 61
Westminster UCC
Therapists
411 S. Washington Ave. Spokane WA 99204 509/624-1366
Christine Wilson, LMHC
Veradale United Church of Christ 611 North Progress Road Spokane Valley,WA 99037 509/926-7173
TransgenderFriendly Resources Social And Support Group Spokane Trans* People 509/489-1914
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417 N. Maple St. Colville WA 99114 509/690-0715
Juliann Haffey, LMHC, MA 325 S. University Ave. Spokane WA 99206 509-534-9380
Kate Robbins 509/768-8543
Doctors/HRT Prescribers Dr. Cathcart (Endocrinology) Northside Internal Medicine 6120 N. Mayfair St., #101 Spokane WA 99208 509/489-7483
Dr. Will Corell (General Practitioner) Integrative Medicine Associates 3424 S. Grand Blvd. Spokane WA 99203 509/838-5800 800/491-0017
Family Medicine Spokane Dr. Lilly J Wittich MD Dr. Rachel Wright D.O. (General Practitioner) 104 W. 5th Ave., Suite 200W Spokane WA 99204 509/624-2313 website (temporarily unavailable)
Jeffry Hartman MD (Endocrinology) 104 W. 5th Ave., #140W Spokane WA 99204 509/747-2147
Urologist Robert J. Golden MD 12615 E. Mission Ave., #303 Spokane Valley WA 99216-1047 509/921-0099
GP/Gyno Care Dr. William Roth (pronounced “Rooth�) Roth Medical Center 220 E. Rowan Ave., #200 Spokane WA 99207 509/483-4403
South Hill Family Medical Wendy Smith ARNP, MN 3010 S. Southeast Blvd., Ste. A Spokane WA 99223 509/533-1000
HAIR REMOVAL Dianne at Mirage Spa and Salon (Electrologist) 9421 N. Division St. Spokane WA 99218 509/325-5254
July 2014 | www.proudtimes.com | Page 63
Elain Cain (Electrologist) 18123 E. Appleway Ave. Green Acres WA 99016
Surgeons
Inland Empire Dermatology
Dr. Antonio Mangubat (Breast Augmentation and Chest Reconstruction)
312 N. Mullan Rd. Spokane Valley WA 99206 509/921-7884
16400 Southcenter Parkway, #101 Tukwila WA 98188 206/575-0300
Louisville Laser 6011 N. Division St. Spokane WA 99208 509/482-0655
Voice Therapy Lynette Norton 4407 N. Division St. Spokane WA 99207 509/279-2555
Dr. Tuan Nguyen (Breast augmentation, Chest reconstruction, and MtF SRS) Lake Oswego Plastic Surgery 15820 Quarry Rd Lake Oswego OR 97035 503/635-1955
Legal Assistance Transgender Law Center 415/865-0176
Hormones / Pharmacy Strochecker’s Pharmacy Tyler Treharne, Pharm. D. 2855-A SW Patton Rd. Portland OR 97201 503/222-4822
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General Information
Driver’s license gender marker change
District Court name change petition and instructions
July 2014 | www.proudtimes.com | Page 65
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