03 DIARY by Richard Dickenson
Cross my palm E
ver wished you were one of these who could predict the future? Ever wanted to gaze into a teacup of leafy dregs or at an upturned palm or some Tarot cards and perceive what’s to come? What an incredible talent, a gift maybe, something mystically conferred at birth to be able to know a person’s life, past and especially future, by such simple means. It really is astonishing how the fairground gypsy can peer into a glass orb and tell you about yourself, then embark, for a price of course, upon the guiding principles that will steer you safely through life. But then, priests do and have been doing that since forever so why shouldn’t the other odd charlatan, hoaxer and trickster have a cut of the cake, too? There seems to be an inexhaustible appetite for this kind of drivel. For that’s all it is. No-
one can see into the future. And even more certainly no-one can predict what is going to happen to you. The fact is that, there being no truth in any of it, absolutely anyone with a little preparation and a well practised technique can do just the same. I’ll show how easy it all is. But fi rst let me explain how it comes about that the human mind can be kidded into beliefs that all these things are possible. It starts from a basic characteristic of our species. We are all inclined to be conceited. It’s wired in. The oldest, fattest, ugliest harridan sees herself, on a good day, as a little less old, fat and ugly than others see her. We all have an inborn tendency to natural optimism. In short, we think rather better of ourselves than might actually be justified. As just two of many examples it’s been repeatedly confi rmed that over 90 per cent of
No matter how hard you look, it’s not going to tell you the future
people think they have an above average sense of humour. What is more, around 80 per cent of us are of the opinion that we are better drivers than most. These, quite clearly, are both statistical impossibilities. There are good evolutionary reasons behind all this. In a nutshell these standard delusions confer upon us a degree of confidence and a correspondingly enhanced belief in our own success and happiness. Let’s call it beneficial egotism, for that is what it is, and that is all it is. The skilled fortune-teller needs only to work on these instincts to get where he’s going. The only real skill has nothing to do with his ‘mystical powers’ and everything to do with his smooth patter. When you consult a total stranger who ‘has the magic’ you will fi rst be subjected to gently probing questions and seeming-
ly correct and rather flattering statements. “I see the letter S” (the commonest letter in the language). The ‘psychic’ is searching and chatting you up, he’s exploiting your natural egocentricity. For example, “The very fi rst thing I feel about you is that you have a strong ability towards being psychic yourself. You’ve probably noticed it in the past, the way you instinctively seem to guess right about people and what they are doing and thinking. No surprise there, if you think back you have probably been doing it all your life without realising it. And here’s another thing, you are naturally intuitive. You have a knack of being able to communicate to people things about themselves. You don’t hurt their feelings. You have a keen imagination. You are creative and easily able to discern things other people miss. You’re clearly a very caring person. And although your image is
one of being pretty laid back, inside you are really very sensitive. You have surely noticed the way you can...” And so on and on and on. Your ego is being stroked. You are eating out of someone’s hand, a hand that is feeding you utter crap. After that it’s child’s play. I put it to you, it’s remarkable, isn’t it, that brains that invented the World Wide Web can believe that some people can see into the future. It’s amazing that the human mind which has put a probe on Mars and removed blinding cataracts can still half believe that magic exists. It’s astounding that intellects that understand Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle can also believe that souls leave the body and return, fellows walk on water and that reincarnation happens? Perhaps, indeed, that is the biggest miracle of them all.
Stabbing remand
Outstanding fines
Luna park closes
grey heron was shot this week by poachers near the Achna dam in Famagusta, conservationists said. The bird was seen by birdwatchers with what appears to be a wing destroyed by pellet shot. BirdLife Cyprus said they notified the game fund and an effort will be made to fi nd and treat the injured bird. But the group also censured the authorities which do not appear to have taken any measures to stamp out illegal hunting in the area, dubbed poachers’ playground. At the end of October, poachers shot and killed a rare osprey using the area as a stopover on its migratory journey from northern Europe, where it breeds, to its African wintering grounds. Despite the protection status the dam has, there is a serious problem with poaching and illegal bird trapping in the area, BirdLife Cyprus said.
days in police custody were handed to a man in Limassol this week thought to have fatally stabbed an neighbour in an argument over parking. Eleftherios Constantinou allegedly stabbed and killed his 23-year-old neighbour, Apostolis Athanasiou, late on Monday night after a row over the way Athanasiou had parked his car. The victim, who had just returned home, had parked his car in the field adjacent to the suspect’s house. Following the argument between the neighbours, Athanasiou proceeded to move his car but the suspect returned to the scene with a military knife with which he allegedly stabbed the victim. The victim was rushed to Limassol general hospital where doctors pronounced him dead on arrival. An autopsy revealed that the victim died of massive bleeding as a result of a stab wound that pierced his chest and heart.
million euro in fi nes are still outstanding and the state should stop using private data legislation as an excuse to not go out and collect them, Auditor general Chrystalla Georghadji told the House Watchdog committee this week. Politicians, lawyers, and known individuals have not been paying their fi nes, and there are payment warrants that have not been served for years, or even decades, she said. Though police have previously cited reasons for their inability to execute warrants including failure to locate the people involved, Georghadji said yesterday that the police were enabling the status quo. She said that a quick look at who owed money to the state demonstrated that the police can find the people. About 750 warrants worth €800,000 involve lawyers and 2,000 warrants involve civil servants, she said.
years after it first opened, a favourite Nicosia luna park is being forced to close down over what its operators call a technicality. Tivoli Luna Park will shut its doors on December 20 and although the park is in full working order, it hasn’t operated properly for the past six months. Next month owner Pericles Christofides will have to vacate the premises. Tivoli opened in 1967 and was originally situated on the Nicosia-Morphou road, near the Nicosia airport, but after the Turkish invasion in 1974 it found a new home next to the Nicosia State Fair. Tivoli was the fi rst luna park to bring go-karts to the island when it opened in 1967. Christofides believes he is the victim of a consortium of local businessmen who are looking to take advantage of the space he is renting from the government and use it for their own gain.
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November 25, 2012 • SUNDAY MAIL
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Injured bird