the last word | brock ballard
Defining Family With an adopted son and three foster children, Brock Ballard and his wife, Julie, have created a family defined by love, stability and support. b y brock ba l l ar d
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y beautiful wife’s brown eyes were weary but alert as she kept the kids quiet and stopped them from pushing all the bells and whistles that fill a hospital room. Julie and I have four children, one adopted and three foster. Each of our kids has traveled on different paths through the foster/adoption system to get to our family experiencing separation, loss and grief in various forms and ways. Children who go through the foster care system just want some stability in their lives. So when something happens to threaten that stability, it’s as if the rug has been pulled out from under them. My recent hospital stay in June to take care of some heart issues brought out that fear in my kids. Julie and I teach our kids to understand that bad stuff sometimes happens to families, but those bad things don’t have to tear families apart. Rather, the bad days are opportunities to grow stronger and work together. Julie and I have two sons, Court and Andy*. Court, 12, is our oldest and has been with me since he was 2 years old. He attached to me quickly after he moved in with me, and I adopted him at the age of 3. We have always been close even though we drive each other crazy at times. Andy is the newest to the tribe, and even at 10 he has been through so much. He was the quietest and the last to enter my hospital room when my family came to visit. Julie and I are also currently fostering two sisters, Sarah* and Katie*. Sarah, 7, has never been pleased with my presence in her life. She has not had any experience with positive male role models, but since she came to our home 18 months ago, she has grown accustomed to my presence. Katie, 3, is her younger sister. She bonded quickly with me when she moved in with us. She walked in to the hospital room, clung to her big brother and was wary of daddy lying in bed with wires sticking out of his arm. Katie looked at me and asked, “Daddy, you sick?” My kids brought me homemade cards that night in the hospital. On the front of Sarah’s homemade card was a big heart with her name on top of it. On the inside it said, “Get well, Dad.” She has never once called me Daddy, but I know the day that she does will be a turning point in our relationship. The look in her eyes was not as foreboding as any of the other kids, but she was quick to hug me before she left. My hugs from her are usually more like drive-bys, but that day she held on a little bit longer. Andy’s card said, “I hope you get well soon and come back.” Many people have left Andy in his life, and he is afraid I will be another one. My heart broke as I read his words and looked into his eyes full of worry. He sat on the bed next to me and took a hold of my hand and did not say much. My family joined hands with me, and each of them said a prayer for me before they left. To hear each of their voices express their concerns to God in their own words was a wonderful moment. Although I saw the fears, worry and concerns in their eyes, I could also see the love and genuine concern they have for their mom, me and for one another. What I saw in all of our eyes that night was that of the eyes of a family. Update: I am now fully recovered from my hospitalization in early June and was recently given a good report from my cardiologist. I am back at work, playing with my family and enjoying life each day to the fullest. *Some names have been changed to protect the privacy of the children in the foster care system. Name: Brock Ballard Age: 42 Education: B.S. in psychology from Evangel University Work: Foster Adopt/Kinship Worker for MBCH Children and Family Ministries: I was first a foster parent as a single individual for three years and then took a break until after my wife, Julie, and I got married. We have been licensed foster parents now for three and a half years. 106 | august/september 2011