COVER STORY
CHARU GOEL She never wanted to work in a 9 to 5 job; she’s happy to be home
“I really don’t think I’m missing out on anything”
was never a 9-5 sort of a person. It was too Idemically mundane and rigid for me. I wasn’t very acaoriented, I was more more creatively
KAMLA DOES CHARITY
She can make good use of her time and do social work promote ‘happy domesticity’. (Never mind that you must look picture-perfect at all times). Your daughter wants long hair? A stressed husband needs some attention? You, the woman, needs to be home. “Even schools have started giving extra points to kids who have stay-at-home mothers, during the admission process. The idea is that children are better tended to,” says Dr Zehra. “Each of these scenarios further builds up ‘brand domesticity’. In a way, they are generating a similar sense of achievement and pride in work within the home.” Movie stars have also done their bit in building up the image of the domestic goddess. Actresses like Madhuri Dixit, Kajol or Sridevi quit while still at their peak to get married and raise their children. Hollywood stars like Penelope Cruz and Catherine Zeta Jones, among others, have limited their appearances to the red carpet and fewer films while their children grow up. “The subliminal message is ‘If they can, why can’t we’,” says journalist Kavita Mehta who quit her regular work after the birth of her baby and now freelances for various magazines. (People do forget, however, that actresses’ careers anyway slow down post-marriage!).
18
THE GOOD LIFE
But in today’s scenario, isn’t a double income home a necessity? Isn’t a single income which can comfortably run a household a sign of luxury? “Sure it is,” accepts Dr Soni. “But the fact remains that if a woman has that choice, why shouldn’t she exercise it? If a husband can afford to give his wife a lifestyle of her choice without needing her money at all, then lucky her. And those who can’t, well, the women in those homes don’t have that choice. They have to work, whether they enjoy it or not, because their income is important,” she adds. The truth is that this freedom of choice – to stay at home or not – can only be determined by the family’s financial circumstances. Otherwise, there is no choice. And what of the men? Wouldn’t they like the choice of not going out to work? “Of course we would. Give me a chance to quit my job and travel with my spouse, I would be very happy to do so. But no such luck. We men cannot do anything of the sort. In that sense, it is a woman’s world,” laughs lawyer Neeraj Behl. tavishi.rastogi@hindustantimes.com (The artwork for this story is inspired by Indian Value Education Posters, increasingly difficult to find now)
HINDUSTAN TIMES SUNDAY MAGAZINE JULY 10, 2011
inclined. And really, I don’t think I am missing out on anything in life by not going to work. In fact, I am much happier doing what I do – staying at home and looking after my family. Bored, did you say? Where is the time to get bored? With a growing son and a husband, I am more than busy. That apart, I dance. I learnt Bharatnatyam from my mother and have now moved into choreography. I teach dance to kids, but all in the comfort of my home. A few hours in the evening of teaching helps me keep fit and also gets me to realise my creative instincts. It is very simple really. My priority is my son Jai and my home. So whatever I do, the timings and schedules revolve around Jai’s schedules, be it holidays or school assignments. And that is just one of the benefits of being at home almost full time. And of course, there is no pressure, no stress and no getting stuck at traffic jams. It’s a very comfortable life. My days are rather full. I start at about 7 am, send Jai to school and my husband to office. On weekdays, I too leave with my husband and go to the gym. I exercise for about an hour, then I’m back home and the regular household chores start. Of course I don’t get down to doing dusting and jhadoo pochcha but supervising is tough too. After all, the home should be in order. That done, the next couple of hours are my ‘me’ time. I dance. Practice my moves, and choreograph some new song – sometimes with my mother, sometimes, alone. It’s my time for rejuvenation. By 1.30 pm, my son is back from school and the next few hours are his. From his regular homework to school updates to general chit chat, it’s mother-son bonding time. In the evenings when Jai goes out to play, I take my dance classes. Kids come home and my living room quickly turns into a dance floor. From classical dance to the latest Bollywood number, we do it all. Jai is back by 7.30 pm. By the time he changes and freshens up, I am done with my classes too. My husband too is back around the same time. Another half hour of finishing school work etc, and it’s dinner time by 9.30 pm. A little chilling out and it’s time for bed and another full day to look forward to. My weekends are dedicated to family, friends and movies. Do I miss not having a regular job or going to an office? No. Why should I? Especially when I can do exactly what I want to and maybe much more, sitting at home. Besides, thankfully, I really don’t need the “extra money flow every month”. We are in a fairly good position and manage happily with a single income. I am realising my passion which is far more fulfilling than having a profession. The best part is I have no guilt pangs of not being around for my child and husband! As told to Tavishi Paitandy Rastogi