The Pulse 9.21 » May 24-30, 2012
Chattanooga's Weekly Alternative
May 24-30, 2012 Hot Fun, Free! Chattanoogaâ€™s Weekly Alternative summer ROAD TRIPS THE BIG HOUSE ALLMAN BROTHERS MUSEUM IN MACON summer music festivals &hotsoundS: concerts THE NOOG,ATLANTA & NASHVILLE summer outdoors thrillS & chillS take in the great outdoors,then hit the patio summer DIVERSIONS movies & meaLS HEAT RELIEF: WATCH hot films in cool spots memorial day: grilling meat, done right summer guide 2 • The Pulse • MAY 24-30, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com HIGHLIGHTS Since 2003 MAY 24-30, 2012 • vol. 9 no. 21 Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative ChattanoogaPulse.com • Facebook.com/ChattanoogaPulse EDITORIAL Publisher Zachary Cooper Creative Director Bill Ramsey Contributors Rich Bailey • Rob Brezsny Chuck Crowder • Michael Crumb • John DeVore Randall Gray • Dr. Rick Pimental-Habib Paul Hatcher • Janis Hashe • Matt Jones • Chris Kelly D.E. Langley • Mike McJunkin • David Morton Ernie Paik • Alex Teach • Richard Winham Cartoonists Max Cannon • Richard Rice Tom Tomorrow Photography Jason Dunn • Josh Lang Interns Katie Johnston • Patrick Noland • Cole Rose ADVERTISING Sales Director Lysa Greer Account Executives Rick Leavell • Emma Regev CONTACT Phone 423.265.9494 Fax 423.266.2335 Email email@example.com firstname.lastname@example.org Got a stamp? 1305 Carter St. • Chattanooga, TN 37402 On the cover: “She’s Fabulous, But She’s Evil” • For our Summer Guide cover this week, we feature the art of Kelli Vance, named this year as one of the South’s hottest young artists by Oxford American magazine. We spotted her work in the magazine and knew instantly this piece said “summer.” Vance, from Houston and now living in Los Angeles, graciously agreed to let us reprint her work. Check out all her fabulous art at kellivancestudio.com. letters Please limit letters to 300 words or less. Letters to the editor must include name, address and daytime phone number for verification. The Pulse reserves the right to edit letters for space and clarity. the fine print The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on culture, the arts, entertainment and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publishers may take more than one copy per weekly issue. We’re watching. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors. © 2012 Brewer Media BREWER MEDIA GROUP President Jim Brewer II arts INSIDE » music: justin townes earle Son of steve Richard Winham profiles the young troubadour. See Page 15 Two of a Type • Chattanooga is home to two of the world’s small family of type designers. By Rich Bailey » 19 food Be a Grilling Hero • Mike McJunkin preps the meat for your Memorial Day barbecue. Sushi & Biscuits » 26 chattanoogapulse.com • MAY 24-30, 2012 • The Pulse • 3 BOWL THE TALK OF THE NOOG chattanoogapulse.com • facebook/chattanoogapulsE SEND LETTERS TO: INFO@CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM SOUTHSIDE Enzo’s Oil New market overdue, but why no local lender? “the fact that we had to go to durham to find a lender is disappointing. We were not getting any traction with local banks which was really disappointing for us. It’s a deal that was both good on paper and good for the community.” That was a quote in the Friday, May 18, edition of the Times Free Press from developer Eric Cummings, speaking about his efforts to get Enzo’s Market off the drawing board. Enzo’s Market is envisioned as a grocery store located in the former Hills Florist warehouse, adjacent to Battle Academy on Main Street. Cummings and his partners have been looking for a bank lender for the project for more than four years. Now that a lender has stepped in, construction is expected to begin 4 • The Pulse • MAY 24-30, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com on June 1, with the new market open by 2013. A wide range of grocery items will be offered, with traditional and national brands mixed with local and regional offerings. Think of a Greenlife mixed with a Bi-Lo, on a smaller scale. The store will also feature a café and a wine store that will be attached. So there is the pitch. You have a vibrant, growing set of neighborhoods on the Southside of downtown, not to mention those living in the central and north sectors of downtown. The 23rd Street and St. Elmo Bi-Lo locations are the nearest full-service grocers in the area to those in the Southside. So enterprising developers envisioned converting an existing warehouse structure into a grocery. Response from the community, community leaders, city leaders and fellow business owners has been overwhelmingly positive—almost to the point of fanatically positive. So, how is it that not one local bank sees the opportunity here? If planned well and operated by experienced grocers, it seems unlikely that this business plan would be the highest risk a local bank has on its prospective loan list. Full disclosure: I am speaking from a very selfish perspective here. I live very close to the proposed Enzo’s site. That’s good news for me and all of my neighbors, both next door and those a bit further away. I wanted this to happen. Four years ago. I also realize banks and lenders have a myriad of criteria, requirements, thresholds and stress tests when lending money to potential businesses and developers. I’ve been in the market for business loans more than a few times and understand the process. My point here is that, again, this business idea took four years and a bank from Durham, N.C., to get the ball rolling. Seriously? The business-loan sector is still suffering from the Great Recession and the fallout of banks tightening their lending streams. With that in mind, I think we need to hear more from those leaders about the local business-lending landscape and where they are positioned in the current market climate. Instead of another roundtable of entrepreneurs, business start-up foundations and venture capitalists being formed to spur growth in the small-business community, I would like to see a table full of our local bank-lending leadership in our city. At the end of the day, they still hold the purse strings and they should be able to speak about their supply of business-loan money in relation to the local demand for it. —Zachary Cooper CONCERTs Motor City Madman or Right-Wing Maniac? far be it from us to question the choices any club or venue makes when it comes to bringing musical acts to town (after all, one can choose not to attend), but the announcement of Ted Nugent’s upcoming appearance at Track 29 on Aug. 21 is worthy of comment. It’s debatable, but Nugent is something of a music legend who might otherwise be a welcome Classic Rock respite from the string of newer acts that make up the eclectic lineup Track 29 continues to bring to Chattanooga. But the guitarist has become better known for his vocal, far right-wing political rants and his support of hunting and gun-ownership rights than his small catalog of hits. In fact, the newest generation may be more familiar with Nugent’s controversial political stances than such songs as “Cat Scratch Fever.” Once known as the Motor City Madman, the Detroit rocker could now be better known as a Right-Wing Maniac. Of course the convergence of music and politics is not new, and Nugent is one of many entertainers who use their fame to amplify their political opinions. We have no problem with that. Trouble is, there is a line between political discourse and political ranting, and Nugent has clearly crossed it. His comments have gone from offensive to unacceptable at best, and violently aggressive at worst. Most recently, Nugent was investigated by the Secret Service after a torrent of vitriolic statements aimed at President Obama earned him a meeting with agents to discuss his comments at an April 17 NRA convention at which he said he’d rather be “dead or in jail” if Obama was reelected, and later referred to himself as a “black Jew at NaziKlan rally.” When his Chattanooga show was announced last week, commenters on Nooga. com fired back. “I feel that any thinning connection to ‘legend’ is, from here on out, going to be overshadowed by ‘hateful rightwing lunatic,’” wrote one. “I don’t want this racist asshat in my city,” wrote another. While others recognized Nugent’s musical talents, he now draws more notoriety for his reckless political commentary. Whether Nugent will check his politics at the stage door remains to be seen. Perhaps he’s learned something from the Dixie Chicks, who famously said they were embarrassed by President George W. Bush during a live performance. That light commentary almost ended their career. The takeaway? Just shut up and sing. —Bill Ramsey On the Beat alex teach Keep the Line Moving “jesus, gary, what were you thinking? We’ve got, like, an hour left on shift,” I said as we cruised up Brainerd Road past what used to be a mall and is now a … well, hell, I don’t know. A big office building with chain restaurants inside? “We couldn’t leave him there, man,” my partner said. “He was going to get his ass kicked or run over, and that would take a lot longer than a public intox booking.” “Well, how the hell do you ever expect a drunk to learn to fend for himself if we keep holding their dirty-ass hands like this? Children have to stop crawling someday,” I replied. He was right of course, but I still had every right to be annoyed. I was off starting the next day and had a free breakfast at Wally’s on McCallie waiting on me, and that was shot to shit thanks to what’s-his-name back there. “Hey, sir,” said an unsteady voice from the back seat. “Can you turn the A/C on back here?” I raised an eyebrow in acknowledgement even though I wasn’t facing him. I didn’t have to talk; I was working, and he was my job. I reached down absently to turn the fan up a few notches since the A/C was already on, but then again, it always is in a police car. “Thanks,” our customer said, which went ignored as words from the back seat often do. Who listens, unless the words are, “You missed my gun” or “I think I need to go to the hospital?” “Too, shy shy,” my partner whispered randomly. “Hush hush, eye to eye…” His head bobbed as he recited this, but I didn’t even hear goofy shit like this anymore, it was so common. Our guy in the back seat looked on confusedly, but…who cares? “They better not be backed up,” I interrupted. “Hanlon’s working intake tonight and I swear to God, I can’t take another second of his mouth.” “He’s a nice guy, man, just be patient with him.” He’d stopped humming ’80s lyrics. “He thinks the moon is following him, Gary. That’s not ‘nice.’ That’s goddamn crazy. He means that shit, and it creeps me out.” My partner paused, because this was all true. In-shape smartass or not, that was undeniable and it was late in the shift for an arrest. We turned a curve too sharply, and our customer in the back fell over to his right and decided to stay there for a moment. “Hey!” said the louder but still shaky voice from the back seat. “How weird. You’re just like everybody else! Wow, I thought you’d be all serious and this would be like TV. You’re just … regular people though.” He paused, and apparently then looked inward. “Am I going to make bond? I think I’ll get fired over this.” Another pause. “Jesus. I’m screwed.” My partner glanced back briefly without ever moving his eyes, and said “Yeah. Yep.” This poor guy was in the back seat, headed to jail. The proverbial big house, the “klink,” and in all this is something that being chained up and having your freedoms removed rates as a “Pretty Big Deal” to most folks. But despite the emotional charge, his hosts were rocky islands well acquainted with travelers such as he. And, accordingly, apathetic as hell towards his plight. He was just another docket number. What is a big deal to you, is a big deal to you. But bear in mind—no matter how big an issue it may be, there are going to be many people who do not give one shit, and odds are they’ll be the ones in the seat ahead of you, sweating in polyester. Farewell, traveler. Pack your bags if you wish, but leave room for empathy. Call your mom, your wife and your girlfriend from jail if you need any, for it does not live here in the Police Crown Victoria. Alex Teach is a fulltime police officer of nearly 20 years experience. The opinions expressed are his own. Follow him on Facebook at facebook. com/alex.teach. chattanoogapulse.com • MAY 24-30, 2012 • The Pulse • 5 summer Rock ‘n’ Roll Road Trips: Macon, Ga. guide The Big House E .J. Devokaitis has the ultimate rock fan’s career. Not only has he toured with his musical idols as part of their road crew, but he is now the full-time curator and archivist at The Big House, the museum and former communal home of the Allman Brothers Band in Macon, Ga., that has become the equivalent of Graceland to fans of the legendary Southern blues rockers. A lifelong fan, Devokaitis was first in line for tickets to the band’s 1992 show in New Haven, Conn., and scored front-row seats. When he arrived with spray-painted banners hailing the group, the band was so delighted they invited him backstage. One thing led to another, and Devokaitis was soon part of the traveling Allman caravan. “I’m a real geek about the band,” he says, without need for further explanation. Devokaitis and executive director Lisa McClendon operate The Big House, the tudor-style mansion in Macon occupied by the band, their wives and roadies from 1970-73, and then again by Warren Haynes and the Allman Brothers offshoot, Gov’t Mule, in the mid-1990s. “They moved in here in 1970 as an unknown band,” Devokaitis says. “By the time they left in 1973, the were on one of the most popular bands in the country.” First rented by Linda Oakley, wife of Allman’s bassist Berry, for the thenprincely sum of $225 a month while the band recorded at nearby Capricorn Records, the house quickly became home base for the entire band. After Duane Allman died in a motorcycle accident in 1971, the happy vibe at the house diminished. When Berry died in another motorcycle accident a year later, gloom set in and the party was over. In 1993, the band’s road manager purchased the house, by then an unofficial landmark, and Haynes, Matt Abts and Allen Woody took up residence to rehearse as Gov’t Mule. Since then, says Devokaitis, “It’s been a communal effort, spearheaded by crew members of the Allman’s in 1990s,” to turn the home into a museum. In 2007, the stately home received its nonprofit status, and hired Devokaitis to curate and archive the museum. Built on donations from the band, relatives, crewmembers and others associated with the band throughout its long career, the museum’s collection ranges from archival video and audio to posters, handbills, old gear, set lists, contracts, personal effects and instruments. Among the most-prized items is Duane’s 1957 Les Paul Goldtop guitar, which he played on the band’s first two albums and on “Layla” as a member of Eric Clapton’s Derek and The Dominos. Fans can tour the house and gardens, including the upstairs bedrooms and the re-created “getaway” where the band retreated downstairs. The museum is open from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m, Thursday through Sunday, for tours ($4-$8) and is often rented for weddings and private parties. Devokaitis says Gregg Allman, a Savannah resident, sometimes stops by unannounced and will be on hand June 3 to sign copies of his new memoir, “My Cross to Bear,” during a fundraiser for the museum. —Bill Ramsey The Big House 2321 Vineville Ave. Macon, Ga. (478) 741-5551 thebighousemuseum.com nashville, tennessee/they’re always having a good time down on the bayou/lord, them delta women think the world of me./lord, i was born a ramblin’ man. tryin’ to make a livin’ and doin’ the best i can/and when it’s time Nightfall. Southern Burger Co. Magical. Southern Burger Co. Food Truck at Nightfall every Friday! 6 • The Pulse • MAY 24-30, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com doin’ the best i can/and when it’s time for leavin’/I hope you’ll understand/that i was born a ramblin’ man/i’m on my way to new orleans this morning/leaving out of lord, i was born a ramblin’ man/tryin’ to make a livin’ and doin’ the best i can/and when it’s time for leavin’./i hope you’ll understand/that i was born a ramblin’ man. my father was a gambler down in georgia/he wound up on the wrong end of a gun/and i was born in the back seat of a greyhound bus/rollin’ down highway forty-one/lord, i was born a ramblin’ man. tryin’ to make a livin’ and vacation? summer Festivals & Concerts guide Like Déjà Vu All Over Again TAKE YOUR PET TO THE ARK S ummer, it always seems, is all about the oldies. You’ve got your Beach Boys at Bonnaroo (with Brian Wilson, no less). You got your Happy Together Tour at Riverbend (The Turtles, (some) Monkees, Gary Puckett & The Union Gap, The Grass Roots and The Buckinghams). The list goes on. But one group stands out as not an oldies band, but a still-vital trio not content to coast—if recent reviews are to be trusted. That band is the weathered-but-still-vibrant Crosby, Stills and Nash. There is no new album (or solo releases), yet the band is playing new songs, “Radio” (Crosby) and “Almost Gone” (Nash), along with their cherished catalog of standards and crowdpleasers. And if the harmonies are less lustrous, the playing a bit ragged on such classics as “Suite: Judy Blue Eyes,” the voices wavering here and there, one reviewer said of a recent show, “there were ample compensations in this diverse and sometimes even daring set list.” A rare treat, it seems, is in store when CS&N come to the Memorial Auditorium on July 10. They may never pass this way again. FESTIVALS Nightfall Miller Plaza 850 Market St. Fridays through Sept. 7 7 to 10 p.m. nightfallchattanooga.com • An eclectic range of headlining acts begin at 8 p.m. with local opening acts starting at 7 p.m. Bring your kids, lawn chairs, pets and friends to enjoy great live music, food and an ice-cold beer. Northwest Georgia Spring Fest Cherokee Farms 2035 Old Mineral Springs Road Lafayette, Ga. May 24-June 3 northwestgeorgiaspringfest.com • In its first year, this 11-day festival mixes a variety of bands from Chattanooga and Northwest Georgia in a county fair environment. Such bands as Iron Diplomat, Surrender, and The Fat Old Guys will perform on the main stage. Thunder On the Rock 5118 Brawley Road Monteagle, Tenn. May 25-27 EntEr thE summer pet of the month at hippieradio1069.com to win $100 cash, spa package at the ark and $100 donation madE in your pEt’S namE to thE humanE Educational SociEty of chattanooga. thunderontherock.net • Thunder on the Rock is a three-day bike rally and concert festival, full of bike games, a battle of the bands and live music, this year featuring Bad Company, Jimmie Van Zant Band and Confederate Railroad. Amberland 2035 Old Mineral Springs Road LaFayette, Ga. May 25-27 amberlandfestival.com • Amberland is the jamband staple Perpetual Groove’s annual arts and music festival, located across 260 acres of farmland in LaFayette. In accordance with its “laid back, backyard party” atmosphere, it features several sets from P-Groove and friends of the band, including Moon Taxi, The Heavy Pets, Consider the Source and Under the Porch. Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival Manchester, Tenn. June 7-10 bonnaroo.com • This Southern Woodstock is a four-day, multi-stage festival held on a 700-acre farm in Manchester every DAYCARE • BOARDING • GROOMING 7760 E. BrainErd road • 521.8888 1100 dayton Blvd. • 634.0466 www.thearkspa.com Scan for SitE to download “frEE” daycarE offEr at our nEw location chattanoogapulse.com • MAY 24-30, 2012 • The Pulse • 7 WEDNESDaYS FIFtY cENt DRUMMIES summer Festivals & Concerts guide 1/2PRIcE DRaFtS ENJoY cool cocktaIlS oN thE PatIo MIth’S Black S B &B IStRo aR 3914 St. Elmo AVE. (423) 702-5461 Find uS on FAcEbook blacksmithstelmo.com 8 • The Pulse • MAY 24-30, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com Pulse Picks Friday, June 8: Futurebirds, 6:15 p.m. Bud Light Stage. Saturday, June 9: Machines Art People Too, 5 p.m. Bud Light Stage. Two Man Gentleman Band, 10 p.m. TVFCU Stage. Sunday, June 10: Gov’t Mule, 6:45 p.m. Bud Light Stage. Thursday, June 14: Junior Brown, 9:30 p.m. UNUM Stage. Friday, June 15: The Features, 7:45 p.m. TVFCU Stage. June. Bonnaroo brings together some of the best performers in rock and roll, along with dozens of artists in complementary styles such as jazz, Americana, hip-hop, electronica, and just about any contemporary music you can think of. Here’s our list of notable acts: Thursday, June 7 White Denim Sometimes you just want to have your face rocked off of your skull and thrown into a musical whirlwind, and few bands accomplish this with as much gusto as White Denim. Though they stem from the blues-rock scene that’s now so prevalent in their native Austin, Texas, this four-piece blends influences from dub, soul, jazz and psychedelia to create a sound that not only hits you in the gut, but also gives you some substance once the head-banging subsides. Both Wilco and Jack White have brought them into the studio; maybe you should give them a shot too. Friday, June 8 St. Vincent Don’t let the Grace Kellyesque countenance fool you; Annie Clark (aka St. Vincent) is a standalone musical talent, able to infuse simple, overdriven guitar melodies into complex song arrangements that both work in service of her lofty and ethereal voice. Her distinct combination of jazz, pop and baroquestyle indie rock complements her thematic focus on the battle between happiness and melancholy; a combination that has lead her to work with such artists as Arcade Fire, Death Cab for Cutie and Bon Iver. Saturday, June 9: Gary Clark, Jr. Acclaimed as the prodigal son of blues and roots music, Gary Clark Jr. is wellsteeped in tradition while still carving out a sound all his own. His smooth fingerstyle playing mirrors Annie Clark of St. Vincent at Bonnaroo on Friday, June 8. his lightly weathered yet soulful voice, traversing familiar ground to bring back a sense of spirituality and honesty not often found in songwriting these days. He’s performed everywhere from Clapton’s Crossroads Guitar Festival to the White House, and alongside hundreds of acts, from Alicia Keys to ZZ Top—along the way proving that he is one of those oh-so-rare artists who can combine technical guitar mastery with real, unbridled soul. Sunday, June 10 Reggie Watts Imagine if Bobby McFerrin went insane and decided he would only write songs based on YouTube videos. As bizarre as that sounds, that is exactly what you can expect out of Reggie Watts. Using only his voice and a couple of loop pedals, he constructs intricate, bombastic, stream-ofconsciousness musical explorations that may or may not make sense upon first listen, and almost definitely won’t be suitable for all audiences (his most popular song is titled “Fuck Shit Stack.”) Though he is featured in the comedy tent, Reggie Watts seeks to delve into the heart of what it means to make noise, and may very well be one of the best natural musical performers at the festival. Paik’s Picks Pulse music critic Ernie Paik chooses his mustsee Bonnaroo acts: Bad Brains: Legendary and ferocious practically genredefining D.C. hardcore band. Thursday, June 7. Orgone: Crate-digging, authentic-sounding ’70s funk/soul band. Thursday, June 7. Battles: Math + science rock and electronics. Saturday, June 9. The Roots: Saturday, June 9. Riverbend Chattanooga June 8-16 riverbendfestival.com • The Riverbend Festival is an internationally award-winning nine-day festival that takes place on the 21st Century Waterfront along the Tennessee River, and boasts six stages with more than 100 bands featuring world-class entertainment ranging from classic rock, jam bands, country, urban and bluegrass. Paik’s Picks Pulse music critic Ernie Paik chooses his mustsee Riverbend acts: Kaki King: Solo guitarist with incredible chops, unusual techniques and an arsenal of strange guitars. TVFCU Stage, 7:30 p.m. Saturday, June 9. Rebirth Brass Band: UNUM Stage, 9:30 p.m. Sunday, June 10. Flo & Eddie: These members of Frank Zappa’s The Mothers of Invention have been known to unleash a killer rendition of Zappa’s “Peaches en Regalia” in recent years—worth checking out just for that! Part of the Happy Together Tour. 9:30 p.m. Coke Stage, Sunday, June 10. Riverfront Nights Aug. 4-Sept. 15 21st Century Waterfront • Riverfront Nights kicks off Saturday, Aug. 4, and runs weekly through midSeptember, only taking off one night (Aug. 25) when they turn the dance floor over to the Southern Brewers Festival. Seven straight nights of fun and music on the city’s front porch. Bands include: Aug. 4: Papa Grows Funk, The Kymera Project Aug. 8: Grant Farm, Spoonful James Aug. 18: Yellow Dubmarine, Endezlous Sept. 1: Sister Sparrow and the Dirty Birds, Rick Bowers Band Sept. 1: Fishbone, Opposite Box Sept. 15: Joe Robinson, summer Festivals & Concerts guide Strung Like a Horse Southern Brewers Festival Chattanooga Aug. 25 southernbrewersfestival.org The Southern Brewers Festival takes place along the Riverfront in downtown Chattanooga, and serves as a showcase for both bands and regional beer-crafters. Former headliners include Los Lobos and Railroad Earth. Atlanta 4th Annual ARTLANTIS Arts and Music Festival Druid Hills Baptist Church, 1085 Ponce De Leon Ave N.E. June 2 artlantisfestival. wordpress.com • ARTLANTIS focuses on exhibiting up and coming local musicians and artists in this all-day event. Red Stripe Midsummer Music and Food Festival Candler Park, 1500 McClendon Ave. June 15-16 midsummermusicfestival.com • RSMF is two days of well-known bands performing live music, flanked by food trucks distributing all types of culinary delights. ONE Music Festival Piedmont Park 1215 Piedmont Ave. Sept. 1 onemusicfest.com • ONE Music Festival looks to unify Atlanta’s communities through a mutual love for music, with acts ranging from hip-hop to alternative rock. Nashville Wartrace MusicFest 112 Bridgeview Wartrace, Tenn. June 1-2 wartracemusicfest.org • The Wartrace Music Festival features some of Nashville’s best homegrown bands, with a focus on bluegrass the first night and blues the second night. CMA Music Festival Downtown Nashville June 7-10 cmaworld.com/ cma-music-festival • This is country music’s annual Music City get-together, taking place across multiple venues in downtown Nashville. 11th Annual Music City Brewer’s Festival 121 4th Ave. South July 28 musiccitybrewersfest.com • This festival features local blues and rock bands and more than 30 local and regional breweries are there to let people sample their wares. Alabama BamaJam 2012 BamaJam Farms Enterprise, AL June 14-16 bamajam2012.com Three-day multigenre music festival featuring Tim McGraw, Kid Rock, Sheryl Crow and others. cool comedy Doug Stanhope • Lots of truth-telling and brash observations of behavior and society make Stanhope’s live shows as unpredictable as they are hilarious. Louis C.K. fans may recognize him from an August 2011 episode of the FX series “Louie” in which he played a raging, unstable fellow comedian. Netflixers can watch his recent comedy special filmed at a former Nazi hangout in Oslo, Norway. This will be his second appearance in Chattanooga. The All You Can Eat Comedy Buffet brings him here in August. Doug Stanhope: The Big Stink Comedy Tour 212 8 p.m. • Tuesday, Aug. 7 Lindsay Street Hall • 901 Lindsay St. TIckets: brownpapertickets.com chattanoogapulse.com • MAY 24-30, 2012 • The Pulse • 9 summer Concerts: Chattanooga, Atlanta & Nashville guide Chattanooga Memorial Auditorium May 31: Yanni July 10: Crosby, Stills, and Nash July 26: Blue Man Group Tivoli Theatre and The News, Chastain Park Amphitheatre June 8 Aerosmith, Cheap Trick, Philips Arena Of Montreal, Cannery Ballroom July 28 June 24 June 9 Track 29 June 15 June 2 Neil Diamond, Philips Arena honest music Allman Brothers Band, Chastain Park Amphitheatre Iron Maiden, Alice Cooper, Lakewood Amphitheatre Norah Jones, Fox Theatre July 6 June 25 July 7 June 27 July 8 Tenacious D, The Tabernacle Earth, Wind & Fire, Chastain Park Amphitheatre July 2 Foster the People, Verizon Wireless Aug. 1 June 23 Al Green, Chastain Park Amphitheatre June 7 Barry Manilow, Chastain Park Amphitheatre Willie Nelson, Chastain Park Amphitheatre Def Leppard, Poison, Aarons Amphitheatre at Lakewood June 3 July 29 Roger Waters, Philips Arena June 29 The Moody Blues, Coca-Cola Dome Seal, Macy Gray, Chastain Park Amphitheatre Toadies, Helmet, Hell Stage at Masquerade Jimmy Buffett, Aarons Amphitheatre at Lakewood June 13 Atlanta July 26 Ben Folds Five, Chastain Park Amphitheatre July 6-7: Desert Okies July 28: The CSO with the Indigo Girls June 1: Todd Snyder with Justin Townes Earle June 2: Those Darlins June 11: Dawes June 22: G. Love & Special Sauce June 23: Mindelixir Presents Bass Church June 25: Crossfade June 28: Saving Abel July 7: 10 Years Aug. 16: The Chris Robinson Brotherhood Aug. 21: Ted Nugent Aug. 22: Matisyahu and The Dirty Heads June 20 Amphitheatre Sting, Chastain Park Amphitheatre Coldplay, Philips Arena Ringo Starr’s All-Starr Band, Fox Theatre Collective Soul, The Tabernacle July 14 Motorhead, Slipknot, Slayer, Anthrax, Lakewood Amphitheatre July 21 The Jacksons, Chastain Park Amphitheatre July 11 Diana Krall, Chastain Park Amphitheatre July 12 Best Coast, Variety Playhouse July 13 Park Amphitheatre Everclear, Sugar Ray, Gin Blossoms, Chastain The B-52s, Fox Theatre Aug. 3 Little Feat, Variety Playhouse Aug. 10 Merle Haggard, Atlanta Botanical Garden Evanescence, Halestorm, Aarons Amphitheatre The Temptations, The Four Tops, Chastain Park Amphitheatre Aug. 25 July 24 Nashville Chicago, The Doobie Brothers, Chastain Park Amphitheatre Kiss, Motely Crue, Aarons Amphitheatre July 29 Joe Cocker, Huey Lewis Phish, Aarons Amphitheatre June 5 3 Doors Down, ZZ Top, Bridgestone Arena Norah Jones, Ryman Auditorum June 29 Jerry Seinfeld, Tennessee Performing Arts Center July 3 Def Leppard, Bridgestone Arena July 7 Ringo Starr’s All-Starr Band, Ryman Auditorium July 10 The Jacksons, Ryman Auditorium July 12 James Taylor, Bridgestone Arena July 17 Death Cab for Cutie, Ryman Auditorium July 18 Jackson Browne, Ryman Auditorium Willie Nelson, Schermerhorn Symphony Center July 24 June 19 Sept. 4 Roger Waters, Bridgestone Arena Rod Stewart, Stevie Nicks, Bridgestone Arena Kiss, Motley Crue, Bridgestone Arena local and regional shows Soul Mechanic with Courter, Clouse and King ($3) Thu, May 24 9pm AFRO ($3) Wed, May 30 9pm Cutthroat Shamrock with Red State ($3) Thu, May 31 9pm Free Irish Music Sunday Nights at 7pm May 27: Molly Maguires Music & Malachi’s Malt Coming Sunday, June 10 Two Man Gentleman Band Early Bird Tickets $5 on sale now at thehonestpint.com 10 • The Pulse • MAY 24-30, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com Full food menu serving lunch and dinner. 11am-2am, 7 days a week. 35 Patten Parkway * 423.468.4192 thehonestpint.com * Facebook.com/thehonestpint summer Arts & Theatre Highlights guide 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com intowngallery.com May Through May 31 “Histories of Nature” River Gallery 400 East 2nd St. (423) 265-5033 river-gallery.com Through June 16 Micro-Analysis: A Small Works Exhibit AVA Gallery 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-4282 avarts.org Through Aug. 12 “Sound and Vision: Monumental Rock & Roll Photography” Hunter Museum 10 Bluff View. (423) 266-0944 huntermuseum.org May 28-Sept. 3 Rock City Raptors Rock City 1400 Patten Road (706) 820-2531 seerockcity.com June June 1-20 “Inside and Out” River Gallery, 400 East 2nd St. (423) 265-5033. www.river-gallery.com Doug McCoy: “Feast Your Eyes” In-Town Gallery 26A Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9214 June 1-17 “Drift” Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga 1918 Union Ave. (423) 987-5141 ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com July 19 Art.a.ma.jig 2012 Tanner-Hill Gallery 3069 Broad St. No. 3. (423) 267-1218 tannerhillgallery.com July 28 Q ‘n’ Brew at the Zoo Chattanooga Zoo 301 N Holtzclaw Ave. (423) 697-1322 chattzoo.org June 15-July 14 “HAIR: The American Tribal Love-Rock Musical” Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com August Jane Yelliott: Tiles & Other Media In-Town Gallery 26A Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9214 intowngallery.com June 22-July 28 All Member Show AVA Gallery 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-4282 avarts.org Aug. 10-26 “Sweet Nothing in My Ear” Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga 1918 Union Ave. (423) 987-5141 ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com July Coyee Langston: “See Through” In-Town Gallery 26A Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9214 intowngallery.com Friday/Saturday nights “The Music Man” Signal Mountain Playhouse 301 Rolling Way smph.org July 13-29 “Anything Goes” Chattanooga Theatre Centre PULSE PICK Aug. 25-Oct. 2 Greg Pond: “Born in Trenchtown” The University of the South Art Gallery 735 University Ave. Sewanee, Tenn. (931) 598-1223 gallery.sewanee.edu “Surprised in Chattanooga” by Miki Boni Take a Southside Stroll The Southside Stroll, formerly known as Last Fridays on Main, returns from 5 to 8 p.m. on Friday, May 25, and continues on the last Friday of each month through Sept. 5. The Stroll celebrates artists, photographers, craftsmen, chefs, roasters, stylists, galleries, businesses, hostels and neighborhoods in the historic Southside. In addition to art, businesses are open extended hours. Participants include: • 1800 Main Art Gallery, 1800 E. Main st. • Cycle Sport Concepts Tenn, 516 E. Main St. • Easy Lemon Loft, 1440 Adams St. • H*Art Gallery, 110 E. Main St. • Merchants on Main, 607 E. Main St. • Planet AltereD, 48 E. Main St. • The Crash Pad, 29 Johnson St. • Velo Coffee Roasters, 508 E. Main St. • Miki Boni Studios, 1611 Mitchell Ave. • Front Gallery and Chenowith/ Halligan Studios, 1800 Rossville Ave. • Taqueria Jalisco, 1634 Rossville Ave. • Mean Mug Coffeehouse, 114 W. Main St. • The Hot Chocolatier, 201 W. Main St. • Galleries on Williams Street, 1403 Williams St. Read The Pulse every week for updated shows. EXPRESS LUNCH! SEATED, SERVED AND ON YOUR WAY IN 30 MINUTES—GUARANTEED! Porter's Steakhouse is open for breakfast, lunch and dinner 7 days a week. We offer the "Express Lunch" each day, where you can be seated, served and on your way in 30 minutes—guaranteed! Valet parking is always free at Porter's— have your server validate your parking receipt before you leave. Facebook Fans get advance notice of special menu offerings, exclusive private events and discounts. Become a Fan today! PORTER’S STEAKHOUSE At the corner of MLK & Broad Street Downtown porterssteakhouse.com The Read House 423 266 4121 starwoodhotels.com chattanoogapulse.com • MAY 24-30, 2012 • The Pulse • 11 summer The Great Outdoors guideWe Can Work It Out W hat we know about the Great Outdoors you could put on the top of a gnome hat. Let’s just say that our idea of “roughing it” is the cheap suite at the Four Seasons. With that in mind, we decided to consult the expert, Ruth Thompson at Outdoor Chattanooga, for her picks for outdoor fun this summer. When you’re through with these events, join us at any one of the patio bars around town we’ve selected as your reward. We’ll keep the beer cold for you! Enjoy your summer—and don’t forget the sunscreen. Real Outdoors its elevated place as a premier multisport event in the Southeast in the past three years. Info: team-magic.com Splash Into Spring Saturday, June 9 11 a.m.-4 p.m. TVA Chickamauga Reservation • This is the free annual watersport celebration and introduction day gives you an overview and hands-on experience with all of the various resources Outdoor Chattanooga has to offer. Kayaking, canoeing and paddle board with techniques and how-to basics covered in the all day session. Info: (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com Battlefield Bicycle Tours June 16, July 21, Aug. 18, Sept. 15, Oct. 20 9:30 a.m. Chickamauga Battlefield Visitors Center Ft. Oglethorpe, Ga. • The Chickamauga Battlefield is a perfect setting for cycling. These free tours will give you an introduction to the road trails of the historic site and some favorite routes. 12 • The Pulse • MAY 24-30, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com Info: (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com Nickajack Bat Cave Trips Fridays 7-10 p.m. June 22, July 20, Aug. 17, Sept. 14 Nickajack Cave in New Hope, Tenn. Cost: $35 for adults and kids ages 14 and older Limit: 12 people Minimum: 6 people • Setting out across the lake, you arrive at the mouth of Nickajack Cave at dusk when thousands of endangered grey bats exit the cave for their nightly feeding. Some paddling experience is required. Info: (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com Chattanooga Waterfront Triathlon Sunday, July 8 Sports: 1.5k swim, 42k bike, 10k run Riverfront Parkway Downtown • The Chattanooga Waterfront Triathlon has a 25-year history, but has found Our Outdoors Terminal Brewhouse The beer garden at the Terminal is a convivial place to enjoy cold craft brew, people-watch and stare at the back wall of the Choo Choo. Mellow Mushroom Hop on the free shuttle anywhere around town and sooner or later it will deliver you right at MM, where you can take your pick from 40 drafts on tap and all sorts of bottled beer to enjoy on the patio. Blacksmith’s Bistro Our favorite location in St. Elmo to mix whiskey and beer. Nice patio, cool drinks, co’ beer. If we sneak out early enough, we get waxed and ride the Incline after a dozen or more and wander around Rock City muttering “gnome sayin’” and laughing uproariously. AT&T Field Nothing says summer like baseball and co’ beer, so you can often find us in the beer garden getting hammered on Big River brew, rootin’ for the home team and yelling, “You suck!” to the challengers. Top of the Dock Some of the more mature, worldly and refined editors at The Pulse reside in Hixson and are fans of Top of the Dock, Chattanooga’s own slice of Margaritaville. On the deck you’ll find cold beer and cool drinks, live music, and locals gathering to imbibe and relax. LIST THE CALENDAR may 24-30 NIGHTFALL: ELLIOT BROOD FRI 05.25 • Candadian trio brings its spunky folk sounds to Miller Plaza. Local alt-folk group Land Camera opens at 7 p.m. 8 p.m. Miller Plaza 850 Market St. nightfallchattanooga. com » pulse WEEKEND PICKS » pulse pick OF THE LITTER: ROCK CITY THU05.24 MUSIC Michael Franti & Spearhead • Reggae and pop-rock. 9 p.m. • Track 29 • 1400 Market St. (423) 521-2929 • track29.co home game EVENT SCHEDULE The Black Jacket Symphony • Performing The Beatles’ “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.” 7 p.m. • Tivoli Theatre • 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5050 • chattanoogaonstage.com Wed, May 23 • 7:15 PM Lookout Mountain and St. Elmo Night FRI05.25 Thu, May 24 • 7:15 PM MUSIC vs. Jacksonville Davey Smith Band, Tin Cup Gypsy • Good ‘ol boys bring good ‘ol country music. 9:30 p.m. • Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. • (423) 267-4644 rhythm-brews.com EVENT 4th Annual Southside ArtStroll • Art and commerce meet on the Southside. 5 p.m.• Southside Arts District (423) 475-5533 facebook.com/SouthsideArtStroll SAT05.26 MUSIC Behold the Brave • Among the best bands in Chattanooga. 9 p.m. • JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. • (423) 266-1400 EVENT Tim Kidd • Kentucky’s “American Foole” brings his comedy stylings to town. 10:30 p.m. • Vaudeville Café 138 Market St. • (423) 517-1839 funnydinner.com vs. Jacksonville Return of the Raptors I t’s immediately apparent that the city of Chattanooga boasts a bevy of outdoor activities and opportunities to observe wildlife in its natural habitat. Rock City is bringing naturalist spectators a little bit closer to a few of wildlife’s most majestic birds with the Rock City Raptors program. Now in its eighth year, the place that so many red barns urge you to see is bringing back the Birds of Prey show to their summer lineup of attractions. Produced by the S.O.A.R. (Save Our American Raptors) program, Rock City Raptors features hawks, eagles, vultures and various other birds of prey flying through the air and mingling with the audience. Not only does the audience get the chance to see the birds in action carving up the Chattanooga skies, the trainers also bring the birds through the audience offering information about each particular species. The S.O.A.R. program is a non-profit educational organization founded in 1963 by “Eagle Lady” Doris Mager in order to care for non-releasable birds of prey and to offer outdoor enthusiasts a chance to see some of nature’s most incredible airborne hunters, up close and personal. Given the incredibly diverse natural surroundings of Chattanooga, Lookout Mountain provides a backdrop for this exhibition that is unrivaled. —Cole Rose Fri, May 25 • 7:15 PM Fireworks! vs. Jacksonville Sat, May 26 • 7:15 PM Blood Assurance Helmet Giveaway Christopher: Puppeteer vs. Jacksonville Ace Hardware Baseball Giveaway • Fireworks! vs. Jacksonville Sun, May 27 • 6:15 PM Rock City Raptors Monday, May 28 (Continues every Thursday through Sunday until Labor Day) Show times: 11 a.m., 1 p.m. and 3 p.m. Rock City 1400 Patten Road Lookout Mountain, Ga. (800) 854-0675 seerockcity.com chattanoogapulse.com • MAY 24-30, 2012 • The Pulse • 13 Wii on the Big Screen wednesdays Jonathan Wimpee Jam Session thursdays N • DART W S O T & N BULLSEYE! W LIVE DJ NDAYS DO O W M Mon & tue SALADS • HOAGIES 205 BROAD ST. LOCAL LEGENDS HOUSE PARTY WITH 5 DJS WEEKEND PARTY ZONE! FRI $1 BEER 10-11PM LIVE MUSIC WITH SCOTTY CRAM BAND sat $1 BEER 10-11PM LIVE MUSIC WITH THE REGULARS BAND Party on Two Floors! 1st Floor: Live Music • 2nd Floor: Dancing Raw Sushi Bar Restaurant & Nightclub 409 Market Street •423.756.1919 14 • The Pulse • MAY 24-30, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com LLAR OFF A L DO L All Week Long! PIZZA • WINGS • ME L ERS L O BE Party at the (423) 266-5564 Between the Sleeves record reviews • ernie paik reading spin magazine’s recent and contentious list of “100 Greatest Guitarists of All Time,” which was created to purposefully “veer toward the alternative canon,” this writer couldn’t help but think, “Where’s Sandy Bull, seriously?” Best known for his recordings on Vanguard Records Sandy Bull in the ’60s, Bull was & The Rhythm ostensibly a folk muAce sician, but that label Live 1976 is woefully inad(Drag City/ equate. His guitar Galactic Zoo playing chops were Disk) more than competent, but what really set Bull apart from the crowd was his bold willingness to explore. His eclecticism drew from sources such as Brazilian composer Luiz Bonfa or Indian ragas, and he could meld classical and folk pieces into new creations that sounded harmonious and unforced, such as his notable banjo arrangement of Carl Orff’s “O Fortuna” from Carmina Burana. Also, it’s not a stretch to draw a line between Bull’s lengthy, transportive electric guitar numbers and the territory mapped by psychedelic and shoegazer bands in the ’90s. Live 1976 is an immaculately recorded set, documenting Bull opening for Leo Kottke at the Berkeley Community Theater. He was accompanied by his four-track recorder, which supplied prerecorded backing tracks, and a Rhythm Ace drum machine. The album opens with “Oud,” featuring Bull on the titular African lute, capturing a North African vibe with freely flowing melodies, further confounding the notion of Bull as a folk performer, with primitive beatbox sounds and artificial flange effects. The hippie cheese of “Love Is Forever” features Bull’s singing—not his strong point—before the more palatable, breezy track “Driftin’” inspired by The Drifters, with a pop structure, easygoing counterpoint, and pedal-steel soloing. The final two tracks are somewhat long, hypnotic wanderings that are enjoyable but without much drama. Live 1976 is not the best starting point for newcomers, but fans will appreciate it for expanding their notion of Bull’s range and the places he was willing to visit. Read more reviews by Ernie Paik online at chattanoogapulse.com. richard winham The Romance of the Outlaw why is the palpable, piercing yowl of emotional hunger in music so hard to resist? The paradox for so many musicians is that the misery that fueled their early work and brought them acclaim often disappears when they find some solace. Solace and success often means songs that suck. So far, that’s hardly been a problem for 30-year-old Justin Townes Earle, who’ll appear on a double bill with Todd Snider at Track 29 on June 1. Earle has built a career on songs that delve into the pain of his early life, most notably his fraught relationship with his father. “We don’t see eye to eye/I’ll be the first to admit I’ve never tried/And sure it hurts but it should hurt sometimes/ We don’t see eye to eye,” he sings about his father in “Mama’s Eyes” from his album, Midnight at the Movies. Earle is not only Steve Earle’s son—God help him—but he’s also named for Townes Van Zandt. The elder Earle, who seems to have associated successful songwriting with self-destruction, first fell under Van Zandt’s spell as a 17-year-old already out on the road for a year. In a life devoted to trying to outrun the demons snapping at his heels, Van Zandt frequently referred to “my four basic food groups: whiskey, cigarettes, guitar strings and driving” in his per- formances. Married six times to five different women, Justin Earle’s father romanticized Van Zandt’s life in early songs reflecting the late singer-songwriter’s rearview-mirror philosophy: The only happiness comes from watching wherever you happen to find yourself disappearing in a cloud of dust of your own making. In an early song called “The Other Kind,” Steve Earle gloried in his rootlessness. “You see it used to be I was really free/I didn’t need no gasoline to run/Before you could say Jack Kerouac you’d turn your back and I’d be gone.” Even before he’d entered puberty, Justin, the son of Steve Earle’s third wife, Carol, was ready to assume his father’s mantle. Another fatherless son of a fatherless son ready to hit the road running in the wrong direction, he was just 11 when he joined his first band. “There isn’t a lot to do in Nashville when you are a kid,” he told an interviewer last year, “so I got into a lot of minor trouble … plus I was playing in bad punk bands from the age of 11 or 12 and doing what guys in bands do—smoking dope and drinking liquor.” His father finally intervened before Justin, 14 at the time, started using what he refers to as “heavier stuff.” Ironically, however, his father still appears to remain ambivalent about drugs. After establishing himself with a string of edgy albums and performances to match in the late 1980s, he crashed. Once his record label’s darling, he disappeared into a toxic fog of heroin and became a pariah. Talking about that period in an interview in Rolling Stone in 1996, he said about his gutter-diving tendencies, “I believe in marriage, and I believe in family, and I want that, too, but I’m still a sucker for the romance of the outlaw, and I hope I stay that way.” That mix of pleasure and pain is apparent in his son’s song, “Mama’s Eyes,” in which Justin Earle seems resigned to having inherited his father’s deviant gene: “I am my father’s son/I’ve never known when to shut up/I ain’t foolin’ no one/I am my father’s son.” But on his new album, Nothing’s Gonna Change The Way You feel About Me Now, one of the best songs, “Movin’ On,” suggests that he may finally be ready to let the old man go. Set to a chicka-chicka, JohnnyCash bounce, Earle sings in a voice that belies his relative youth. He sounds world-weary, but determined to outpace the misery that has hobbled him for much of his life. Growing up and shaking off his father’s legacy must be a scary prospect for a man who has spent much of his life looking in his own rearview mirror and celebrating his escape in song. It remains to be seen whether having found his solace, he risks stifling the muse. Justin Townes Earle and Todd Snider 8 p.m. • $20/$23 Friday, June 1 Track 29 1400 Market St. (423) 521-2929 track29.co Richard Winham is the host and producer of WUTC-FM’s afternoon music program and has observed the Chattanooga music scene for more than 25 years. chattanoogapulse.com • MAY 24-30, 2012 • The Pulse • 15 Music CHATTANOOGA LIVE Thu 05.24 Thursday • May 24 Pierced Arrows • Don’t • Future Virgins Possible Side Effects Friday • May 25 Gentleman Jessie and His Men Barrecudas • Real Drag Saturday • May 26 Behold the Brave • Deep Machine Baltimore String Felons Sunday • May 27 Glowing Bordis • Tone Harm Monday • May 28 Man Forever • Child Support Tuesday • May 29 Free Show! Who wants to play? Wednesday • May 30 Raenbow Station • Forest Tourist Lee Bains • Frontier Ruckus Thursday • May 31 BlockCrusher LIVE MUSIC CHATTANOOGA MAY 23 THU. TRUTH & SALVAGE CO. 9p 24 FRI. DAVEY SMITH BAND 9:30p 25 with TIN CUP GYPSY SAT. SOUL MECHANIC 10p 26 ABBEY ROAD LIVE SUN. 9:30p 27 Awesome Beatles Tribute GRAYSON CAPPS SCRUMPTIOUS GOTHIC GUMBO! WED. 9:30p PART COUNTRY, A TOUCH OF ROCK COUNTRY SOUNDS with DEEP FRIED 5 & SMOOTH DIALECTS COMING MAY 29: MOUNTAIN SPROUT HILLBILLY SINS SOON! MAY 31: LONG GONE DARLINGS MATT WOODS ALL SHOWS 21+ UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED • NON-SMOKING VENUE 221 MARKET STREET HOT MUSIC • FINE BEER • GREAT FOOD BUY TICKETS ONLINE • RHYTHM-BREWS.COM Evan Cobb Quintet 7:30 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org Preston Parris 8 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Road (423) 499-5055 thepalmsathamilton.com The Black Jacket Symphony: Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band 8 p.m. Tivoli Theater, 709 Broad St. (423) 642-TIXS chattanoogaonstage.com Pierced Arrows, Don’t, FutureVirgins, Possible Side Effects 8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400 Soul Mechanic, Courtier, Clouse, and King 9 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192 thehonestpint.com Michael Franti and Spearhead 9 p.m. Track 29, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-4323 track29.co. Truth & Salvage Co. 9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Leverage Band 10:00 p.m. SkyZoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 468-4533 skyzoochattanooga.com FRI 05.25 Amber Fults 10 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pike (423) 266-1996 tremonttavern.com David Oakleaf Band 8 p.m. Meo Mio’s, 4119 Cummings Hwy. (423) 521-7160 Elliot Brood, Land Camera 7 p.m. Nightfall , River City Stage at Miller Plaza, 850 Market St. 16 • The Pulse • MAY 24-30, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com evan cobb quintet • Nasvhille saxophonist Cobb leads his band in a tribute to jazz greats Art Blakey and the Jazz Messengers with their take on the classic album, “Moanin’.” THU 05.24 •Barking Legs Theatre • 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 • barkinglegs.org nightfallchattanooga.com Dakota Williams 8 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Drive, Ringgold, Ga. (706) 965-2065 ringgoldacoustic.com Dave Pope Quartet 8:00 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 Broad St. (423) 756-3400 chattanooganhotel.com Gentleman Jessie and His Men, Barrecudas, Real Drag 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400 Bryan Jones 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191 Buckner Brothers 9 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956 sugarsribs.com Davey Smith Band and Tin Cup Gypsy 9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Power Players Show Band 10:00 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Road (423) 499-9878 budssportsbar.com Leverage Band 10 p.m. SkyZoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 468-4533 skyzoochattanooga.com Jordan Hallquist 10 p.m. T-Bones, 1419 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4240 tboneschattanooga.com Scotty Cram Band 10 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919 sat 05.26 Land Camera 10 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St., No. 100 (423) 634-0260 Mr. Quick and The Gunslinger 10 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pike (423) 266-1996 tremonttavern.com Josh Gilbert 8 p.m. Meo Mio’s, 4119 Cummings Hwy. (423) 521-7160 The Regulars Band 10 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919 Brody Johnson and the Dirt Road Band 8 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Drive, Ringgold, Ga. (706) 965-2065 ringgoldacoustic.com Kevin Gordon 8 p.m. Charles and Myrtle’s Coffeehouse, 105 McBrien Road (423) 892-4960 christunity.org/events Dave Pope Quartet 8 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 Broad St. (423) 756-3400 chattanooganhotel.com Behold the Brave, Deep Machine, Baltimore String Felons 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400 Anna Banana, Leah Yeppi 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191 Buckner Brothers 9 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956 sugarsribs.com Power Players Show Band 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Road (423) 499-9878 budssportsbar.com Soul Mechanic, Deep Fried 5, Smooth Dialects 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Nathan Farrow 10 p.m. T-Bones, 1419 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4240 tboneschattanooga.com sun 05.27 Molly Maguires Music and Malachi’s Malt 7:00 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192 thehonestpint.com Glowing Bordis, Tone Harm 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400 Joan Faulkner 6 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5050 chattanoogaonstage.com Seether 9 p.m. Track 29, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-4323 track29.co Abbey Road Live 9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com mon 05.28 Dennis Brown 7 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956 sugarsribs.com Man Forever, Child Support 8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400 tue 05.29 Mountain Sprout and Hillbilly Sins 9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com wed 05.30 Preston Parris & Tim Starnes 7:30 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956 sugarsribs.com Prime Cut Trio 8 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Road (423) 499-5055 thepalmsathamilton.com Raenbow Station, Forest Tourist, Lee Bains, Frontier Ruckus 8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400 Huskey Burnette 9 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Road (423) 499-9878 budssportsbar.com AFRO 9 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192 thehonestpint.com Regular Gigs Thursdays Songwriter’s Showcase 7 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St., No. 100 (423) 634-0260 Open Mic with Mark Holder 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191 Thursday Night Fever with DJ Barry P 7:30 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956 sugarsribs.com Open Mic 7 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.com Fridays Johnny Cash Tribute Band 5 p.m. Choo Choo Victorian Lounge, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000 choochoo.com Bluegrass Night 8 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.com Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Road (423) 499-5055 Saturdays Johnny Cash Tribute Band 5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Victorian Lounge, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000 Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Road (423) 499-5055 Mondays Live Classical Music 7:30 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.com Big Band Night 8 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Road (423) 499-5055 tuesdays Open Mic 9 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pike (423) 266-1996 tremonttavern.com Songs & Stories 7 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.com Wednesdays Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Road (423) 499-5055 Folk School of Chattanooga Old Time Jam 6:30 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.com Ben Friberg Trio 6:30 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260 marketstreettavern.com Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send live music listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ chattanoogapulse.com. 901 Carter St (Inside Days Inn) 423-634-9191 Thursday, May 24: 9pm Open Mic with Mark Holder friday 9:30 • saturday 10:30 Friday, May 25: 9pm Bryan Jones Saturday, May 26: 9pm Anna Banana/Leah Yeppi Tuesday, May 29: 7pm Server Appreciation Night $5 Pitchers $2 Wells $1.50 Domestics ● MAY 25-26: tim kidd All shows are free with dinner or 2 drinks! Stop by & check out our daily specials! Happy Hour: Mon-Fri: 4-7pm $1 10oz drafts, $3 32oz drafts, $2 Wells, $1.50 Domestics, Free Appetizers Facebook.com/theofficechatt JUNE 1-2: VINCE CARONE MOUTH OF THE SOUTH Live Music Party after Nightfall! Friday • May 25 • 10pm LAND CAMERA test stand-up comic cone $1000 cash priz ER COV EVERY TUESDAY • NO No Cover Nightly Specials Mondays 50¢ Wings $3 Yazoo Tuesdays $1 Tacos 1/2 Price Margaritas Wednesdays thu. 7 • fri. 7 sat. 5:30 & 8 Wine Night + Live Jazz! Thursdays Burger & Beer Night Saturdays $2 Domestics 4pm to Midnight 850 Market Street• 423.634.0260 Facebook.com/marketstreettavern 138 MARKET • 423.517.1839 FUNNYDINNER.COM full bar chattanoogapulse.com • MAY 24-30, 2012 • The Pulse • 17 GRAND OPENING CELEBRATION Music Beyond the Bend riverbend’s community outreach series reveals more performers, bigger names and a record number of free mini concerts at area hot spots. The series is designed to force The Tennessee Valley’s Family Reunion from its boundaries and offers legends in the business as well as young and emerging artists representing all music genres. They visit unique venues in the downtown, central city, Southside and North Shore communities. Buy one entree, get 2nd 1/2 off Food only, alcohol not included. Must present this ad. Cannot be used with any other offer. HAPPy Hour SPeCIALS Buy 1, Get 1 Free Beer • Liquor Specials The Best Deal in Town! SUSHI BAR n HIBACHI DINNER n LUNCH SPECIALS 200 market st. n 423.668.2799 n open 7 days Commander Cody performs at Market Street Tavern on Saturday, June 9. BEND UNPLUGGED All shows at 2 p.m. except where noted. 06.06 Four Shillings Short The Public Library 06.09 Sol Driven Train Creative Discovery Museum 06.10 Lionel Young Band Lindsay Street Hall 06.13 Royal Southern Brotherhood’s Tribute to the Wetlands Tennessee Aquarium. 5 p.m. 06.15 Thunder and Fire Tour Hunter Museum ARTIST OF THE DAY All shows at noon. 06.08 Cody McCarver Big River Grille 06.09 Commander Cody Market Street Tavern 06.10 The Waymores 212 Market 06.13 Peter Rowan 18 • The Pulse • MAY 24-30, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com Hennen’s 06.14 Denny Jiosa Bluewater Grille 06.15 Blackberry Smoke Mellow Mushroom 06.16 Taylor Reed Band Greenlife Grocery BEND ON THE RUN All shows at 1 p.m. 06.08 Futurebirds Terminal Brewhouse 06.09 Two Man Gentlemen Band The Honest Pint 06.10 Danger Kitty Market Street Tavern 06.13 The Kymera Project Jefferson’s 06.14 Steel Wheels The Social 06.15 The Features Southern Burger Company 06.16 Musical Moose Miller Plaza Arts Two of a Type DESIGN By Rich Bailey besides working to make chattanooga the first American city with its own typeface, Robbie de Villiers and Jeremy Dooley give the Scenic City a population density of typographers greater than that of several nations. According to Dooley, there are about 300 full-time type designers in the world. Having these two in Chattanooga puts us ahead of Brazil, Poland, Slovakia, South Africa, Spain and Thailand, according to Wikipedia. have to have some technical skills to trouble shoot your product, because you’re ultimately producing a piece of software.” De Villiers learned to design type by hand at his first job in the 1980s. Before he could actually design anything, an old-school Swiss type designer started him off drawing i’s and l’s. That’s all he Not that there’s a competition or anything. It’s really not much of a stretch to say that typography is both ubiquitous and obscure. Our visual environment is filled with type, from books and word-processing documents to outdoor advertising and “no parking” signs. If it’s a word, unless it’s handwritten, it’s typeset. We are swimming in type, and type designers are the mostly unknown creators of the water molecules. And the work of de Villiers and Dooley is floating around all over the place. Over a nearly 30-year career, de Villiers has created the logos and product designs—including hand-drawn type—for some very familiar consumer products such as Orange Crush, Canada Dry ginger ale and Maxwell House 1892 coffee. He also designed the official typeface for Erfurt, the oldest city in Germany. Originally from South Africa, he emigrated to the U.S. in the 1980s and moved from Connecticut to Chattanooga last year. Dooley has only been a fulltime type designer since 2007, but two of his typefaces—Aviano and Aviano Sans—topped the typeface bestseller lists for several years. Although he has no way to track their use, he’s did for six months. According to de Villiers, the artistry of the type enhances the words that are typeset. “The words themselves have meaning, but the type and the way it’s designed creates an expression as well. The shapes themselves can be visual poetry,” he said. De Villiers still begins a new typeface with hand drawings before scanning them and developing them further in a type-design program. “The thing I admire about Jeremy is that he really knows the back end of how to make these fonts technically,” he said. “I’m totally reliant on what the program does for me. I’m more interested in and concerned about the actual shapes and that they conform to my classical background than I’m concerned Jeremy Dooley and Robbie de Villiers Robbie de Villiers and Jeremy Dooley give Chattanooga an edge in small world of type designers. found them everywhere from a background in a Harry Potter movie to a Warehouse Row ad. He has lived in Europe and the Middle East and moved to Chattanooga in 2011. Type design is a unique combination of technical and artistic work, according to Dooley. “You have to have technical skills to know what you’re doing and artistic skills to make it look good,” he said. “You about the output.” Both Dooley and de Villiers have classical leanings, in fact—Dooley’s Aviano was based on Roman titling inscriptions like Trajan’s Column, for example—but in some ways their styles couldn’t be more different. “I think I definitely have a leaning toward two things—I love stencil and I love a slightly more overall condensed letters,” said de Villiers. “Jeremy has this expansive stuff, but I’m completely the other end of spectrum.” The difference in styles is so great that, when they created Chatype, each made his own separate version and then they merged the two, taking the best of each to create a composite typeface. One reason the jointly created Chatype works, according to de Villiers, is that it was designed following the golden ratio, a set of mathematical proportions that underlies classical architecture, painting and type design. To illustrate, he cites a test of three typefaces for reading speed and comprehension. The same text was typeset in the same layout but using three different faces: Helvetica, Times New Roman and Gill. The winner, in both speed and comprehension, was Gill because it was the only one of the three that was based on classical golden proportions. “For me those proportions are really critical in the designs I do,” he said. “If you’re not sensitive to those proportions, it looks butt ugly. It just doesn’t work. It’s subtle but it’s very real. Those same proportions apply to faces, cars, pretty much anything.” chattanoogapulse.com • MAY 24-30, 2012 • The Pulse • 19 Arts & Entertainment CALENDAR Thu 05.24 Sound and Vision: Another View of Jim Morrison 6 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View (423) 266-0944 huntermuseum.org Open Mic Night 7 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.com The Black Jacket Symphony Performs The Beatle’s “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band” 7 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5050 chattanoogaonstage.com Lookouts vs. Jacksonville 7:15 p.m. AT&T Field, 201 Power Alley (423) 267-2208 lookouts.com Live Trivia 7:30 p.m. T-Bone’s Sports Café, 1419 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4240 chattanooga.cetrivia.com Live Trivia 7:30 p.m. Magoo’s, 3658 Ringgold Road (423)867-1351 chattanooga.cetrivia.com Evan Cobb Quintet 7:30 p.m. Barking Legs Theatre, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org Chattanooga Sports Ministries 8 p.m. Pasha Coffee & Tea, 3914 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 475-5482 pashacoffeehouse.com FRI 05.25 Fresh on Fridays 11 a.m. River City Company, 850 Market St. (423) 265-3700 rivercitycompany.com May YPAC Business Development Luncheon Noon. Chattanooga Area Chamber of Commerce, 811 Broad St. chattanoogachamber.com 20 • The Pulse • MAY 24-30, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com southside artstroll FRI 05.25 • View the work of local artists such as Miki Boni’s “Five Clowns from Chattanooga.” 5 p.m. • Southside Arts District • (423) 475-5533 • facebook.com/southsideartstroll 4th Annual Southside ArtStroll 5 p.m. Chattanooga’s Southside Arts District, (423) 475-5533 facebook.com/SouthsideArtStroll Lowcountry Boil 5 p.m. Chattanoogan Hotel, 1201 S. Broad St. (423) 424-3700 chattanooganhotel.com NOOK Class 5:30 p.m. Barnes & Noble, 2230 Hamilton Place Blvd. (423) 893-0186 barnesandnoble.com Nightfall Concert Series 7 p.m. Miller Plaza, 850 Market St. (423) 265-0771 nightfallchattanooga.com Lookouts vs. Jacksonville 7:15 p.m. AT&T Field, 201 Power Alley (423) 267-2208 lookouts.com Open Mic Night 7:30 p.m. Barnes & Noble, 2230 Hamilton Place Blvd. (423) 893-0186 barnesandnoble.com Chris Killian 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Road (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Bluegrass Night 8 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.com Ruby Falls Lantern Tours 8:30 p.m. Ruby Falls, 1720 S. Scenic Hwy. (423) 821-2544 rubyfalls.com Tim Kidd 9:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839 funnydinner.com Annual Beach Blanket Free Movie Night Sunset. Chester Frost Park, 2318 N. Gold Point Cir. (423) 842-0177 hamiltontn.gov sat 05.26 CCRC Tasty Donut Dash 9 a.m. Boys and Girls Club of Dalton, 1013 Underwood St., Dalton, Ga. carpetcapitalrunningclub.com River Market 10 a.m. Tennessee Aquarium Plaza, 1 Broad St. (423) 402-9960 chattanoogamarket.com Iron Gamer 10 a.m. CoLab, 55 E. Main St. eventbrite.com TinkerToys: Build Your Imagination 10:10 a.m. Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 756-2738 cdmfun.org Birds of Prey Shows 11 a.m. Rock City, 1400 Patten Road Lookout Mtn, Ga. (706) 820-2531 seerockcity.com/birds Meet the Artist: Chris Barber 11 a.m. River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033 river-gallery.com Summer Music Weekends 8:15 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 100 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125 chattanoogaghosttours.com tue 05.29 Tuesdays at Tony’s 11 a.m. Tony’s Pasta Shop & Trattoria, 212 High St. (423) 265-5033 bluffviewartdistrict.com Songs & Stories 7 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.com Chattanooga Organized for Action Fundraiser 8 p.m. Pasha Coffee & Tea, 3914 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 475-5482 pashacoffeehouse.com Chattanooga Ghost Tours 8:15 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 100 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125 chattanoogaghosttours.com chattanooga fc vs. rocket city united SAT 05.26 • Chattanooga’s soccer club home game. 7 p.m. • Finley Stadium • 1826 Carter St. • chattanoogafc.com Noon. Rock City, 1400 Patten Road Lookout Mtn, Ga. (706) 820-2531 seerockcity.com Georgia Winery Tour 2 and 4 p.m. The Georgia Winery, 6469 Battlefield Pkwy. Ringgold, Ga. (706) 937-WINE georgiawines.com Gardening for Urban Settings at the Library 2:30 p.m. Chattanooga Library Downtown Branch, 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5310 lib.chattanooga.gov Chattanooga FC vs. Rocket City United 7 p.m. Finley Stadium, 1826 Carter St. chattanoogafc.com Lookouts vs. Jacksonville 7:15 p.m. AT&T Field, 201 Power Alley (423) 267-2208 lookouts.com Chris Killian 7:30 and 10 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Road (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Tim Kidd 10:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839 funnydinner.com sun 05.27 Chattanooga Market: Beast Feast BBQ Festival 11 a.m. First Tennessee Pavilion, 1829 Carter St. (423) 402-9960 chattanoogamarket.com Meet the Artist: Chris Barber 1 p.m. River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033 river-gallery.com Evensong 5:30 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.com Joan Faulkner 6 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5050 chattanoogaonstage.com Lookouts vs. Jacksonville 6:15 p.m. AT&T Field, 201 Power Alley (423) 267-2208 lookouts.com Chris Killian 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Raod (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com mon 05.28 Chattanooga Chase 7 a.m. Riverview Park, 1000 Barton Ave. chattanoogatrackclub.org Hinkle Park Summer BBQ 11 a.m. Hinkle Park, 148 Hinkle Community Road Lookout Mtn, Ga. chattanoogahasfun.com Music Monday 7 p.m. Pasha Coffee & Tea, 3914 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 475-5482 pashacoffeehouse.com Live Classical Music 7:30 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.com Chattanooga Ghost Tours wed 05.30 Art Z Tots 10 a.m. Planet Altered, 48 E. Main St. (423) 400-4100 planetaltered.com Art Crusaders 11:30 a.m. Planet Altered, 48 E. Main St. (423) 400-4100 planetaltered.com Main Street Farmer’s Market 4 p.m. 325 E. Main St. mainstfarmersmarket.com Wine Wednesdays 5 p.m. Back Inn Café, 412 East 2nd St. (423) 265-5033 bluffviewartdistrict.com Painting from Concept to Canvas 6 p.m. Townsend Atelier, 201 W. Main St. (423) 266-2712 townsendatelier.com Folk School of Chattanooga Old Time Jam 6:30 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.com chattanoogapulse.com • MAY 24-30, 2012 • The Pulse • 21 Arts & Entertainment “A MATTER OF SIZE” WED 05.30 • Comedy in the Jewish Film Series. See Page 23. 7 p.m. • Jewish Federation • 5461 N. Terrace Road (423) 493-0270 • jewishchattanooga.com Recycle your old Vacuum & receive Instant Miele Savings! Receive up to a $100 trade-in allowance toward the purchase of any new Miele vacuum cleaner We’ll break down and recycle the parts of any unfixable vacuum cleaners and donate all healthy models to a local, community charity*. *Limited time offer. Visit one of Miele’s authorized dealers for complete details Chattanooga 7200 Shallowford Road, at I-75 485-8897 Cleveland 566 Paul Huff Parkway 339-5600 22 • The Pulse • MAY 24-30, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com Jewish Film Series: “A Matter of Size” 7 p.m. Jewish Federation of Greater Chattanooga, 5461 N. Terrace Road (423) 493-0270 jewishchattanooga.com Chattanooga Ghost Tours 8:15 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 100 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125 chattanoogaghosttours.com Fuzion: Myxer 9 p.m. Coltrane’s on 9th, 2 Union Square behind Krystal Building eventful.com/ chattanooga Ongoing “Spring is in the Art” (thru May 31) 11 a.m. In-Town Gallery, 26A Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9214 intowngallery.com “No Crystal Stair” (thru May 26) 10 a.m. Bessie Smith Cultural Center, 200 E. Martin Luther King Blvd. (423) 266-8658 bessiesmithcc.org Spring Photography Exhibition (thru June 28) 8:30 a.m. Photographic Society of Chattanooga, 71 Eastgate Loop (423) 344-5643 chattanoogaphoto.org 75 Days of Fun (thru June 15) 9 a.m. Chattanooga Zoo, 301 N. Holtzclaw Ave. (423) 697-1322 chattzoo.org Histories of Nature (thru May 31) 10 a.m. River Gallery, 400 East 2nd St. (423) 265-5033 river-gallery.com “Micro-Analysis: A Small Works Exhibit” (thru June 16) 11 a.m. AVA Gallery, 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-4282 avarts.org “Sound and Vision: Monumental Rock & Roll Photography” (thru Aug. 12) 10 a.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View (423) 266-0944 huntermuseum.org TinkerToys: Build Your Imagination (May 26- Thru Sept. 9) 10:10 a.m. Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 756-2738 cdmfun.org “Science Demo: Looks Like Magic But…” (Thru Sept. 10) 10 a.m. Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 756-2738 cdmfun.org Birds of Prey Shows (May 26- Sept. 2) 11 a.m. Rock City, 1400 Patten Road Lookout Mtn, Ga. (706) 820-2531 seerockcity.com/birds Painting from Concept to Canvas (Wednesdays, May 30-June 27) 6 p.m. Townsend Atelier, 201 W. Main St. (423) 266-2712 townsendatelier.com Summer Art Camps (June 4-8, 11-15, 18-22, 25-29 and July 9-13) Art Creations, 7351 Commons Blvd. (423) 266-3626 x2 art-creations.com Map these locations on chattanoogapulse. com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ chattanoogapulse.com. Arts & Entertainment Fifth Annual Jewish Film Series five jewish-themed, award-winning films produced in Germany, Argentina, Israel and the U.S. will be shown on five consecutive Wednesday evenings at 7 p.m. that began on May 23 and continues through June 20 at the Jewish Cultural Center, 5461 N. Terrace Road. These films are suitable for those 16 and older. Individual tickets are $5 per person and includes complimentary popcorn. Soft drinks are available for purchase. For more information on the series, contact Ann Treadwell at (423) 493-0270. A Matter of Size (May 30) Tired of the tyranny of their diet program in the Israeli city of Ramla, a group of overweight people defect and discover the world of sumo, where fat people are honored and appreciated in this touching comedy. This 90-minute film is in Hebrew with English subtitles. Ahead of Time (June 6) This documentary film about Ruth Gruber (pictured above) highlights the life of this 97-year-old woman who became the world’s youngest Ph.D. at 20, and a New York Herald Tribune reporter and photographer at 24. A feminist before feminism, Gruber was never just an observer; she was a participant in the making of history. Hear about her life in her own words. This 73-minute film is in English. Anita (June 13) A tragedy in Buenos Aires leaves a young woman with Down syndrome on her own to wander through the city. As she does so, she learns not only to care for herself, hand crafted italian cusine but touches the lives of those around her, from an alcoholic to a family of Asian immigrants. This 104-minute film is in Spanish with English subtitles. David (June 20) The son of the Imam of a Brooklyn mosque is mistaken by a group of Jewish boys as a fellow classmate at their Orthodox school. Unable to resist the joy of camaraderie that he has never felt before, the boy is drawn into a complicated dilemma inspired by youthful deceit and the best of intentions. This 98-minute film is in English. m-th 5-9:30pm • fri-sat 5-10:30pm 25 e main • 423.305.6990 alleiarestaurant.com WEEKLY EVENTS GoUda BURGER Tremont Tavern is Chattanooga’s favorite neighborhood pub. With a cozy atmosphere, a diverse menu, and a beer list sure to impress the most discerning connoisseurs, you’re bound to become a regular! 1203 Hixson Pike • (423) 266-1996 TREMoNTTaVERN.CoM MoNdaY Trivia wiTh GeorGe • 8-10pm TUESdaY open mic with mike • 8pm-1Am WEdNESdaY Beer tAstinG 7-9pm THURSdaY Beer & Burger niGht • 5-11pm FRIdaY FeAtured music oF the week • 10pm SaTURdaY hAlF price winGs, $3 FaT Tire & $2 coors liGht pints SUNdaY Fish tAco niGht • 6pm chattanoogapulse.com • MAY 24-30, 2012 • The Pulse • 23 Screen JOHN DEVORE Summer Movie Guide: Cool Rooms, Hot Film my interest in summer movies, it seems, is directly proportional to my age. As I march steadfastly toward soft food and cataracts, I find that every year I care less and less about summer blockbusters. When I was younger, June and July were when I saw the best movies of the year. They promised invading aliens, massive explosions and Will Smith. The traditional emotions associated with summer, those of freedom, love and unlimited ammo are still present. Those values are splashed across billboards and trailers annually and will continue in perpetuity. As I age though, my summer loves have shifted towards autumn reflection and winter sadness. Now, the films I look forward to are released between November and February. This isn’t to say that summer is devoid of worthwhile film experiences. It’s just that the best stories are more wistful than overbearing. Blockbusters are about spectacle; they leave little room for contemplation. This summer is no different. There are a few films that may be marvels of visual technique, but still hold on to the important story element. There are also a few indie films that might be worth attention. Below, you’ll find my picks for summer movies that may be more than worth the ticket price. The Cave of Forgotten Dreams (June 5) I would be remiss if I didn’t include a film from the Arts and Education Council’s Independent Film Series. Like the last one, the AEC is using tugg.com to bring us the best in independent films that ordinarily don’t come to a city like ours. “The Cave of Forgotten Dreams” is a Werner Herzog film that gives audiences a once-ina-lifetime look into the Chauvet Cave in Southern France, an incredible natural structure where some of the world’s oldest cave paintings are found. This film 24 • The Pulse • MAY 24-30, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com is presented in 3D in order to show audiences the unique contours of the cave walls and the artistry needed to effectively use that space. While I am generally skeptical of the use of 3D, here it was used for a specific and understandable reason, rather than for throwing various objects at the screen. In order for this film to be brought here, the AEC has to sell 80 tickets by May 30. So please, for the sakes of documentary fans across our fair city, go buy a ticket. Prometheus (June 8) Ridley Scott returns to his roots in the sci-fi/horror genre with a film about deadly aliens. Whether this film is a prequel to his popular “Alien” franchise Above: A scene from “Safety Not Guaranteed.” Left: Charlize Theron in “Prometheus.” is debatable at this point (it is, then it isn’t, then it is—I can’t really keep track), but the trailers show a definite return to the dark, claustrophobic fear atmosphere that defined the series. Assuming that Scott has created an original story (or at least a new monster), “Prometheus” will hopefully make for an engaging, edge-of-your-seat experience that summer movies are known for. Delightfully, the film has received an “R” rating, meaning that the violence won’t be toned down for teen audiences; I think the film will be better served by staying true to the franchise with excessive blood and gore. SummerSpecial Monday Hibach LUNCH Chicken Tues. & Thurs. Birthday Special Buy Five or More hiBachi MealS and Get a Fr ee Birthday Mea l Ask Hibachi LUNCH Menu All Day Wed. & Sun. All Sushi Rolls 1/2 Off for details Fried Rice $1.99 Extra DD GA Safety Not Guaranteed (June 8) Here we have a film that has an unfortunate release date. It is opening against “Prometheus,” one of the biggest films of the summer, and as a result won’t be seen by many people. It’s based on a popular Internet meme involving an actual classified ad from a man seeking a time travel companion. The respondent needs to “bring [their] own weapons” as the man “has only done this once before.” It stars the charming and sardonic Aubrey Plaza as part of an investigative team for a magazine seeking out the man who placed the advertisement. As with all indie comedies, this one will likely be eccentric and understated. It may not hit immediately, but with any luck, those that seek it out will be pleasantly surprised. Seeking a Friend for the End of the World (June 22) With the Mayan apocalypse fast approaching, “end-of-the-world” films are going to be fairly commonplace. Last year, we had great ones like “Melancholia” and “Take Christian Bale in “The Dark Knight Rises.” Shelter.” Those are serious and complicated films. This one, starring Steve Carrell and Keira Knightly, is a more lighthearted take on annihilation. The trailer indicates a film that shows the sad and desperate alongside the absurd and farcical; sometimes it takes a comedy to really show every aspect of humanity. It’s an interesting idea from a first-time director, one that is full of great opportunities for wonderful storytelling. There is a strong chance here for an honest and charismatic film. The Dark Knight Rises (July 20) “The Dark Knight Rises” is this summer’s only challenger to “The Avengers” domination in terms of box office return. They are films with wildly different tones, despite falling under the mutual umbrella of comic book movies. Christopher Nolan has taken the Batman franchise and returned it to the darkness from which it spawned. Where The Avengers are notably heroic, Nolan’s Batman has been at times unset- tling and dangerous. This film concludes the trilogy that redefined the character for most audiences and confirmed what fans have known all along about the Caped Crusader. These films have been as realistic as possible and “The Dark Knight Rises” will be no different. Expect a compelling conclusion to a powerful series. There are, of course, other films that I didn’t have room to expand on here. Films such as Disney’s “Brave” and “The Amazing Spider-man” are sure to be crowd pleasers. Other films like “Ruby Sparks” and “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter” are bound to touch a chord with smaller groups of movie goers. And of course, the Arts and Education Council will continue to pull great independent films into our theaters. So, don’t worry so much about going outside this summer; it’s hot and people might try to talk to you. Go see a movie instead. John DeVore will appear on Channel 12 WDEF-TV’s “Prime News at 7” on May 30 to discuss upcoming summer movies. Fuji Steak & Sushi TACO BELL AD RO 153 5437 Hwy. 153 • Hixson • 423.531.3183 fujihixson.com No coupons or other offers. Dine in only. Nine45 Take the Leap into Something New! At Second Presbyterian A New Path to a Timeless Destination Informal worship with praise, prayer, music, discussion, and fellowship. Each Sunday 9:45 am to 10:30 am 700 Pine Street (at the corner of 7th and Pine) An open, come-as-you-are environment for all ages chattanoogapulse.com • MAY 24-30, 2012 • The Pulse • 25 Sushi & Biscuits MIKE MCJUNKIN On Memorial Day, Become a Grilling Hero “ there are few days that greater symbolize our utter domination over the humble cow, pig and chicken than Memorial Day in the South. The atmosphere over Chattanooga on Monday will be thick with the smoke of 10,000 fires, both great and small, burning in anticipation of a sacrifice to honor our fallen warriors. Families will gather around pristine, Sandra Lee-inspired tablescapes and carefully prepared plates of dishes whose hand-scribbled recipes have been passed down for generations and generations. But there will also be carnage, weeping, and gnashing of teeth as inexperienced or uninformed cooks perform grave injustices to perfectly good meat and poultry. Magazines, food TV and the Internet have been over complicating the process of cooking meat over hot coals for decades, so put down your pens and food journals for a minute and strip this process down to its tasty, tasty basics. No questionable meat Take the time and spend the extra dollar or two to get local, farm-raised meat. Plenty of local farms, such as Creekridge or Sequatchie Cove, have far superior tasting cuts than that meat of mysterious origin you get in vacuum-packed styro trays at the chain stores. If supporting local business, lowering the impact on the environment and benefitting from reduced risks from chemicals and additives aren’t enough to compel you to buy local meat, then do it because it tastes better. If you truly can’t taste the difference in high-quality, locally sourced meats then you’re either doing something wrong or your taste buds may have been seared off in a tragic apple crumble dessert pizza incident at CiCi’s. Hank Hill is wrong Cooking meat over anything but slow-burning hardwood is an unforgivable offense in an outdoor grilling or barbecue situation. Leave the gas for your kitchen stove. If you have good meat to cook, lump charcoal in a cheap Weber grill can make the Outback your bitch. Don’t use selfstarting briquettes either, unless you like subtle notes of chemical fire and Zippo fuel with your meal. Good quality lump charcoal will not only taste better, but will get hot enough to give you a better sear that you can ever get from gas. Swing by a local shop like Southern Hearth or The Patio Shop to get some good quality lump charcoal, but don’t get distracted by the tactical barbecue aprons or Guy Fieri-flamed meat cleavers—we’re keeping it simple. Stop playing with it Meat tastes good on its own. It shouldn’t need complicated chutneys or seasonings to make it taste good unless you bought it from the Shamwow guy out of a truck in your driveway. Use a generous amount of course kosher salt to form a crust and a little black pepper to taste. That’s it, nothing else. Don’t use table salt—it’ll just make the meat salty—and whatever you do don’t salt until you’re ready to cook or the meat will get soggy and almost impossible to sear. Put the meat on the hot grill and leave it alone. Go drink a beer and wait for the Malliard reaction. That’s the browning or caramelization that occurs when high heat is applied to meat. While you’re waiting, throw Cooking meat over anything but slowburning hardwood is an unforgivable offense in an outdoor grilling or barbecue situation. away that big fork that came with your grill set from Target. Poking holes in meat lets out all of the juices which take flavor with them. Use tongs to turn it one time and one time only. When the meat is done, take it off the grill and go get another beer. While you’re impatiently waiting and fending off packs of hungry carnivores, the meat is getting much needed rest. Letting it sit untouched for about 10 minutes allows the meat to retain its juices so when you cut into it meaty goodness doesn’t leak everywhere. Meat can make its own sauce “Dressing the board” is a way of using the meat’s natural juices to make a very simple and complementary dressing. While the meat is cooking, whisk a couple tablespoons of an herb, a few tablespoons of olive oil, a couple of pinches of course salt and a little pepper together in a bowl. Then dump that on your cutting board and set your finished meat right on it to rest. When you slice the meat, let that board dressing get all up in there and invade that meat’s personal space. The juices from the meat will mix with the dressing and you’ll look like Jamie Oliver without the carefully coiffed bedhead. So before you undertake the meat-cooking duties on Monday, remember that the fine cows, pigs and chickens who gave their lives so that we can honor our nation’s most deserving heroes also deserve to let the final thing they have to give us shine brightly— their flavor. Mike McJunkin cooks better than you and eats quite a lot of very strange food. Visit his Facebook page (Sushi and Biscuits) for updates and recipes. Mean Mug C O F F E E H O U S E 26 • The Pulse • MAY 24-30, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com Comix NEED EXTRA CASH? CHATTANOOGA’S #1 GOLD BUYER wants to give you MONEY for your jewelry! Get paid TOP-DOLLAR just like Rick’s thousands of satisfied customers! 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From what I can tell, Gemini, you are now entering an intensely “I am” phase of your long-term cycle—a time when it will be more important for you to exclaim “woohoo!” than to mutter “hmmm;” a time to tune in extra strong to the nonverbal wisdom of your body and to the sudden flashes of your intuition; a time when you’ll generate more good fortune by getting gleefully lost in the curious mystery of the moment than by sitting back and trying to figure out what it all means. CANCER (June 21-July 22): Don’t pretend you can’t see the darkness. Admit to its presence. Accept its reality. And then, dear Cancerian, walk nonchalantly away from it, refusing to fight it or be afraid of it. In other words, face up to the difficulty without becoming all tangled up in it. Gaze into the abyss so as to educate yourself about its nature, but don’t get stuck there or become entranced by its supposedly hypnotic power. I think you’ll be amazed at how much safety and security you can generate for yourself simply by being an objective, poised observer free of melodramatic reactions. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): It’s OK with me if you want to keep the lion as your symbolic animal, Leo. But I’d like to tell you why I’m proposing that you switch over to the tiger, at least for now. People who work with big cats say that lions tend to be obnoxious and grouchy, whereas tigers are more affable and easy to get along with. And I think that in the coming weeks it’ll be important for you to be like the tiger. During this time, you will have an enhanced power to cultivate friendships and influence people. Networking opportunities will be excellent. Your web of connections should expand. By the way, even though lions are called kings of the jungle, tigers are generally bigger, more muscular, and better fighters. VIRGO Where the Liquor is Cheap and the Entertainment is Free rob brezsny (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In 1977, the first Apple computers were built in a garage that Steve Jobs’ father provided for his son and Steve Wozniak to work in. (You can see a photo of the holy shrine here: tinyurl.com/AppleGarage.) I suggest you think about setting up your own version of that magic place sometime soon: 28 • The Pulse • MAY 24-30, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com a basement, kitchen, garage, warehouse, or corner of your bedroom that will be the spot where you fine-tune your master plan for the coming years—and maybe even where you begin working in earnest on a labor of love that will change everything for the better. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): I have a head’s up for you, Libra. Do your best to avoid getting enmeshed in any sort of “he said/she said” controversy. (Of course it could be a “he said/he said” or “she said/she said” or “trans said/intersex said” brouhaha, too—you get the idea.) Gossip is not your friend in the week ahead. Trying to serve as a mediator is not your strong suit. Becoming embroiled in personal disputes is not your destiny. In my opinion, you should soar free of all the chatter and clatter. It’s time for you to seek out big pictures and vast perspectives. Where you belong is meditating on a mountaintop, flying in your dreams, and charging up your psychic batteries in a sanctuary that’s both soothing and thrilling. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In some Australian aborigine cultures, a newborn infant gets two names from the tribal elders. The first is the name everybody knows. The second is sacred, and is kept secret. Even the child isn’t told. Only when he or she comes of age and is initiated into adulthood is it revealed. I wish we had a tradition similar to this. It might be quite meaningful for you, because you’re currently navigating your way through a rite of passage that would make you eligible to receive your sacred, secret name. I suggest we begin a new custom: When you’ve completed your transformation, pick a new name for yourself, and use it only when you’re conversing with your ancestors, your teachers, or yourself. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Please raise your hand if you have ever sought out a romantic connection with someone mostly because of the way he or she looked. You shouldn’t feel bad if you have; it’s pretty common. But I hope you won’t indulge in this behavior any time soon. In the coming weeks, it’s crucial for you to base your decisions on deeper understandings—not just in regards to potential partners and lovers, but for everything. As you evaluate your options, don’t allow physical appearance and superficial attractiveness to be the dominant factors. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The 21st flight of the 4.5-billion-pound Space Shuttle Discovery was supposed to happen on June 8, 1995. But about a week before its scheduled departure, workers discovered an unforeseen problem. Northern Flicker Woodpeckers had made a mess of the insulation on the outer fuel tank; they’d pecked a couple of hundred holes, some quite deep. To allow for necessary repairs, launch was postponed for over a month. I’m choosing this scenario to serve as a useful metaphor for you, Capricorn. Regard it as your notice not to ignore a seemingly tiny adversary or trivial obstacle. Take that almost-insignificant pest seriously. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): It’s official: Dancing increases your intelligence. So says a report in the New England Journal of Medicine. Unfortunately, research found that swimming, bicycling, and playing golf are not at all effective in rewiring the brain’s neural pathways. Doing crossword puzzles is somewhat helpful, though, and so is reading books. But one of the single best things you can do to enhance your cognitive functioning is to move your body around in creative and coordinated rhythm with music. Lucky you: This is a phase of your astrological cycle when you’re likely to have more impulses and opportunities to dance. Take advantage! Get smarter. (More info: tinyurl.com/DanceSmart.) PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Your animal totem for the next phase of your astrological cycle is a creature called a hero shrew. Of all the mammals in the world, it has the strongest and heaviest spine proportionate to its size. This exceptional attribute makes the tiny animal so robust that a person could stand on it without causing serious harm. You will need to have a backbone like that in the coming weeks, Pisces. Luckily, the universe will be conspiring to help you. I expect to see you stand up to the full weight of the pressures coming to bear on you—and do it with exceptional charisma. ARIES (March 21-April 19): “My soul is a fire that suffers if it doesn’t burn,” said Jean Prevost, a writer and hero of the French Resistance during World War II. “I need three or four cubic feet of new ideas every day, as a steamboat needs coal.” Your soul may not be quite as blazing as his, Aries, and you may normally be able to get along fine with just a few cubic inches of new ideas per day. But I expect that in the next three to four weeks, you will both need and yearn to generate Prevost-type levels of heat and light. Please make sure you’re getting a steady supply of the necessary fuel. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Here’s a great question to pose on a regular basis during the next three weeks: “What’s the best use of my time right now?” Whenever you ask, be sure to answer with an open mind. Don’t assume that the correct response is always, “working with white-hot intensity on churning out the masterpiece that will fulfill my dreams and cement my legacy.” On some occasions, the best use of your time may be doing the laundry or sitting quietly and doing nothing more than watching the world go by. Here’s a reminder from philosopher Jonathan Zap: “Meaning and purpose are not merely to be found in the glamorous, dramatic moments of life.” Check out Rob’ Brezny’s expanded audio horoscopes at freewillastrology.com. Or call 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700. Jonesin’ Crossword REDEFINE YOUR WEEKEND. REDEFINE YOUR PROPERTY. REDEFINE YOUR IMAGE. matt jones CALL US TODAY OR VISIT OUR WEBSITE TO START IMPROVING YOUR HOME 423.667.2662 REDEFININGLANDSCAPES.COM GREEN IS OUR BUSINESS. WE RECYCLE. “Special K”—it’s good for you. Across 1. ___ nectar 6. Give the cold shoulder 10. Old El ___ (salsa brand) 14. Tennis champ Rafael 15. Petty of “Tank Girl” 16. “Like ___ not!” 17. Get a gold nose ring? 19. Firehouse fixture 20. ___-Bilt (power tool brand) 21. Feel sick 22. Electric guitar pioneer 24. Morales of “NYPD Blue” 26. She tells you to wear clean underwear 28. Talks big 29. River that starts in the Swiss Alps 31. Fable ending 33. Peg for Bubba Watson 34. Vending machine drinks 35. ___ Puffs 37. Report from the musical instrument store? 42. Li’l comic strip character 43. Joe amount 45. Had hash browns 48. Immigration island 50. Cornered 51. Scary Bela 53. A, in Austria 55. Sea birds 56. Get someone mad 58. Negative answers 60. Cleopatra’s killer 61. Historical novelist ___ Seton 62. Finish up with Tom’s wife? 65. Anorak, e.g. 66. Caustic substances 67. “___ Man” (1992 hit by Positive K) 68. Late actress Bancroft 69. Ivy League school with its own golf course 70. Mr. Jeter Down 1. Crossword solutions 2. “Win Ben Stein’s Money,” e.g. 3. Capital of South Australia 4. Michael’s “Batman” successor 5. Jazz legend Fitzgerald 6. Downhill event 7. Postal creed word 8. River through Russia 9. Attack the attacker 10. Maid of honor at William and Kate’s 2011 wedding 11. Words said while raising glasses 12. It’s dissolved into a solvent 13. Ultimatum ending 18. Khloe’s sister 23. It’s just him or her on stage 25. “Dancing With the Stars” judge Carrie Ann ___ 27. “Whose Line Is It Anyway?” regular Colin 30. Paul Anka hit subtitled “That Kiss!” 32. Go bad 36. Sky-blue 38. With really long odds 39. Toothpaste variety 40. Smooth player 41. Aptly-named precursor to Wikipedia 44. Jargon with lots of bold claims 45. Andean animal 46. Plus in the dating world 47. “The Sweet Hereafter” director Atom ___ 49. Gary who played Lieutenant Dan 52. Egg-shaped 54. Quebec rejection 57. Singer formerly of the group Clannad 59. Make tire marks 63. Tierra ___ Fuego 64. What some golfers use as a scoring goal Jonesin’ Crossword created By Matt Jones. © 2012 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0573. chattanoogapulse.com • MAY 24-30, 2012 • The Pulse • 29 Life in the Noog chuck crowder Eatin’ Good in the ’Hood “hi, welcome to applebee’s,” the smiling hostess said as we approached. “Thank you sooo much, we’ve been waiting all week to get our Applebee’s fix—we just love it here,” my lady friend said as she looked back at me with a devious grin. So that’s how we’re going to play this I thought—random walk-by drink decision combined with complete sarcasm. Nice. Our waiter, who I imagine just started shaving sometime in the last few months, was preemptively greeted by my friend’s enthusiastic, “Hi, how are you doing this evening? We’re big fans of your restaurant.” Then, before he had a chance to restart his textbook greeting, I added, “Yeah, is this 67 or 68?” “Sixty-eight, honey,” my friend said to me before glancing back at our waiter. “We’ve been to 68 Applebee’s locations so far this year. We love this place.” After explaining how we travel a lot for our jobs as importers of corn chips and exporters of diapers, we finally decided to let him get a word in and take our drink order. “Now, does your Perfect Margarita have Rose’s lime juice in it, because I’m completely allergic,” my lady friend asked. “Yeah, we’d have to get out the EpiPen. It’s a big production these other folks probably wouldn’t wanna see while they’re eating,” I added. Ten minutes later our drinks arrived via our frazzled little friend. “Those look delicious. You must have had a team back there squeezing limes,” my friend said. “Yeah, it was me and my manager and a bartender,” the waiter said as he proudly set down the drinks. My friend took a sip and said, “Mmmm, that’s perfect.” “Perfect or nearly perfect?” I asked her before glancing up at 30 • The Pulse • MAY 17-23, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com our waiter as he changed the subject. “Where are you guys from?” “Tempe,” I said. “Tempe, Arizona.” “We were in Syracuse before that,” my friend added. “And then Cincinnati before that,” I continued. “But we don’t like to talk about Cincinnati,” my friend said as we both broke into laughter at the inside joke of whatever it was that supposedly happened in Ohio. “We’ve been meaning to ask, where did the name Applebee’s come from?” I inquired. “It means neighborhood,” our waiter said. “In what language?” I shot back. “Well, it means like a neighborhood place, like a bar or restaurant, that’s in a neighborhood,” he nervously backpedaled. “Whatever it means, it always means fun for us,” my smiling companion said as she placed a calming hand on my shoulder before completely changing her demeanor and quipping back, “But I do have to ask, what is Applebee’s official policy on providing health care benefits to life partners of employees, because Starbucks has been doing that for years.” “I don’t know if we have one. I mean, they haven’t told us anything about that,” our waiter responded with a puzzled look. “Well, we hate Chili’s, so that’s out,” my friend said as she casually pointed at the one right across the street. “So I guess we’ll just have to start going to Ruby Tuesdays,” she said shrugging her shoulders. As all of this took place we couldn’t help but notice those around us—a lethargic family of three overweight generations and a table of drunken rednecks celebrating the matriarch’s birthday with overbearing laughter. As funny as going off the grid for an evening sounded at first, it was quickly becoming very depressing. “So, 68 Applebee’s huh,” our waiter asked before saying quite possibly the wisest thing he ever could’ve added. “Do you guys ever try any locally owned restaurants in the cities you visit?” With a knowing smile I responded, “You know, we actually had dinner at Easy Bistro and loved it.” “You should try Aretha Frankenstein’s for breakfast,” he said. “It was on the Food Network and everything.” “Really? You must be very proud of your local restaurants around here,” I said as I thought to myself—I know I am. Chuck Crowder is a local writer and general man about town. His opinions are just that. Take what you read with a grain of salt, but let it pepper your thoughts.