The Pulse 11.12 » March 20, 2014
Chattanooga's Weekly Alternative Annual Wine Issue.
The Pulse CHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE interactive art | okinawa | grand piano MARCH 20, 2014 The Wine Issue Ordering and buying wine demystified for us all 2 • The Pulse • march 20-26, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com MARCH 20 2014 VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 12 Publisher & President Jim Brewer II Managing Editor Mike McJunkin Contributing Editor Janis Hashe Art Direction & Design Gary Poole Contributors Rich Bailey • Rob Brezsny • John DeVore Janis Hashe • Matt Jones • Sandra Kurtz Marc T. Michael • Ernie Paik • Gary Poole Michelle Richards • Alex Teach • Michael Thomas Editorial Interns Madeline Chambliss • Dea Lisica • Leith Tigges Cartoonists & Illustrators Rick Baldwin • Tom Tomorrow Photographer/Webmaster Josh Lang Founded 2003 by Zachary Cooper & Michael Kull brewEr media group EDITORIAL Contents By Michelle Richards Happenings BEGINNINGS: The poor next door, part two... A fresh new look to The Pulse LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT CALENDAR N O IC TI lse BL TA e Pu PU POR Th in S N eek W TRAext N SOMMELIER SECRETS Ordering and buying wine demystified for us all Features DINING OUT: Nectar of the gods—and food to match MUSIC: Okinawa is psychedelic with precision NEW MUSIC REVIEWS: Family Fodder, Leah Gardner SCREEN: Playing for time in “Grand Piano” FREE WILL ASTROLOGY JONESIN' CROSSWORD Director of Sales Mike Baskin Account Executives Chee Chee Brown • Julie Brown Lisa Dicaire • Rick Leavell • Leif Sawyer Stacey Tyler • Jerry Ware Offices 1305 Carter St., Chattanooga, TN 37402 Phone 423.265.9494 Website chattanoogapulse.com Email firstname.lastname@example.org Calendar email@example.com THE FINE PRINT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue. We’re watching. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors. Contents Copyright © 2014 by Brewer Media. All rights reserved. ADVERTISING CONTACT Voices POSSIBILITIES FROM FAILURE Ashley Hamilton is queering painting By Rich Bailey SANDRA KURTZ: TVA needs to rethink our energy future ALEX TEACH: Working the job he deserves ART CAR BALL Eat, Drink, & Dance! Trophies for Most Creative Attire! Follow Art 120: Proceeds Benefit Our Youth Programs Sponsored by: Friday, April 4th, Miller Plaza 7-10pm chattanoogapulse.com • March 20-26, 2014 • The Pulse • 3 updates » CHATTANOOGApulse.com facebook/chattanoogapulse EMAIL LOVE LETTERS, ADVICE & TRASH TALK TO INFO@CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM news • views • rants • raves BEGINNINGS The Poor Next Door, Part Two N THE MIDST OF THE CONTINUED BACK-PATTING about Chattanooga’s renaissance, in the middle of the city’s accolades as a paradise for outdoors living, there are a few hard truths that quite a few people are very reluctant to take a closer look at. I “ Poverty is not sexy. Poverty is not ChattanoogaChattanoogarah-rah-rah. But it exists.” They’re going to need to take the blinders off, because the New York Times just put one of them front and center in a story published Mar. 16 by Steven Greenhouse called “Low Wage Workers Are Finding Poverty Harder to Escape.” In it, he profiles a number of working poor Chattanoogans—all of whom are making less that the $10.10 per hour President Obama wants to make the minimum wage. Writes Greenhouse, “In Chattanooga, the prevalence of low-wage jobs has contributed to the high poverty rate: 27 percent of the city’s residents live below the poverty line, compared with 15 percent nationwide. Women head about two-thirds of the city’s poor households, and 42 percent of its children are poor, nearly double the rate statewide.” Picking up needed food from the Chattanooga Area Food Bank. The Pulse ran a story about our city’s shocking poverty rate a couple of years ago, and as far as I can remember, it didn’t even generate comments on the website. Poverty is not sexy. Poverty is not Chattanooga-Chattanooga-rah-rah-rah. But it exists, and without confronting it, and the reasons for it, it will continue to be a black eye for a city that likes to see itself as reborn. The NYT article quotes a number of statistics for the whole U.S., noting the changes in the poor since 1979. They are much more likely to have some high school or even college education. And they are older— the Great Recession disappeared a huge number of jobs that have not come back, will never come back, and these older workers are now, JANIS HASHE and likely forever, underemployed. Quotes Greenhouse: “Chattanooga has a twofold problem: the low level of educational attainment and the traditional jobs that these people move into have largely disappeared,” said Matthew N. Murray, an economist at the University of Tennessee. Greenhouse notes, “Just 23 percent of Tennessee adults have a bachelor’s degree.” But as his article points out, even a college degree is not a magic wand for some. A neighbor and good friend of mine, a highly intelligent woman with a B.S. in psychology, has been working at Walmart for the last four years, unable to find a better-paying job that would utilize her skills. She is the sole caretaker for her mother, who has multiple medical problems. The Internet is also ablaze with comments about another Chattanooga woman living in poverty, Katrina Gilbert, profiled in the HBO documentary based on the Shriver Report, “Paycheck to Paycheck.” (See The Pulse’s Screen feature, Mar. 13.) There are things we can do, and do now. Chattanooga needs a vocational school, and it needs one now—yet that is not one of the proposals on the table in the re- Politics cently released list of new schools being considered by the school board and country commission. The Tennessee legislature needs to stop making ridiculous claims about Common Core being a “federal takeover of schools” and recognize that if Tennessee kids don’t start achieving more, the state (and Chattanooga) will continue to fall further behind. Instead of screeching about how an increased minimum wage will cause the economy to tank once again, conservatives need to pay attention to studies such as the one highlighted in a Washington Post article of Jan. 14, 2014. Writes reporter Mike Konczal about a study by University of Massachusetts at Amherst economist Arin Dube, “Let’s first highlight the major results. Dube uses the latest in minimumwage statistics and finds a negative relationship between the minimum wage and poverty. Specifically, raising the minimum wage 10 percent (say from $7.25 to near $8) would reduce the number of people living in poverty 2.4 percent… “Using this as an estimate, raising the minimum wage to $10.10 an hour, as many Democrats are proposing in 2014, would reduce the number of people living in poverty by 4.6 million. It would also boost the incomes of those at the 10th percentile by $1,700. That’s a significant increase in the quality of life for our worst off that doesn’t require the government to tax and spend a single additional dollar.” How if we think about the idea that “No Chattanoogan Left Behind” should be a city motto? We could do worse. We are doing worse, right now. 4 • The Pulse • march 20-26, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com by Rick Baldwin EdiToon Refreshing For Spring You may have noticed as you've browsed through the pages of The Pulse this week that some things look a bit different. With the coming of Spring, we've decided to do some spring cleaning and freshen up the place a bit, so to speak. Since The Pulse was founded eleven years ago, we have always striven to stay on the forefront of newspaper design. Styles change, typefaces change, what people want read and see change, and we have to change with the times. So, we are quite proud (and a bit nervous) to present the fresh new look of The Pulse to you this week. All of your favorite columnists will still be with us—Alex Teach, Dr. Rick, Sandy Kurtz, Mike Dobbs—and all of the excellent writers and reviewers you've come to rely on for the best coverage of arts, music, movies and more will still be here as well. In fact, we've also expanded our coverage of musics, arts and film to better serve you, the reader. And we are also welcoming back to our pages the talents of editorial cartoonist Rick Baldwin, a long time local favorite. We hope you enjoy the fresh look. Check out our great selection of wine, spirits & high gravity beer. Come see why we’re the liquor store with a smile... Michelle Richards Our cover story this week—about all things wine—is written by a newcomer to our pages, someone who knows a lot about wine, Michelle Richards. Michelle is a certified sommelier through the Court of Master Sommeliers. Along with hosting wine tastings for local organizations, she is the sommelier and a manager at St. John's Restaurant and St. John's Meeting Place. Michelle crafted well-received wine events such as Daring Pairings and Canvas & Decanter. She also created and implemented wine education programs at St. John's Restaurant, St. John's Meeting Place, and Alleia. You can contact her by email at firstname.lastname@example.org John DeVore Film writer John DeVore has spent a significant portion of his life in dark theaters. From an early age, he was drawn to strong storytelling brought to life through the magic of the silver screen. With degrees in both literature and education, John has keen insight into critical theory and a genuine desire to educate audiences on the finer points of film appreciation. His favorite films transcend genre—quality storytelling and respect for the intelligence of the audience will win him over every time. When not watching and writing about film, John spends his time writing his own stories and exposing his children to the wonders of movie magic. IN THIS ISSUE 3849 Dayton Blvd. • Ste. 113 423.877.1787 At the corner of Morrison Springs Road and Dayton Boulevard in the Bi-Lo Shopping Center chattanoogapulse.com • March 20-26, 2014 • The Pulse • 5 Rethinking TVA's Energy Future Coal is being phased out, but current plans do not include phasing in more renewable, cleaner energy sources. Speak up about it. When it comes down to staying alive, it’s all about energy. Without energy, we cease to exist. Our sun star is the prime energy source enabling life on this planet. It empowers plants to grow, wind to blow and has provided us energy-rich coal, natural gas and oil. Even radioactive uranium used for nuclear power came from exploding superSANDRA novae in our solar system as Earth and other planets were forming. Another major source of energy is moving water. Water didn’t come to Earth directly from the sun. It was likely locked up in our basic rocks, supplemented by asteroids crashing into Earth with their watery payload. Still, solar energy causes water to move through the plants to produce food. It also powers the water cycle for cloud-making and rain. Comfort-seeking humans have cleverly figured out how to use indirect solar energy sources. Grown men (women, too) throw hissy fits if the power goes off KURTZ or the price of gas causes any inconvenience. Unfortunately, those same energy sources are now damaging the very ecosystem from whence they came. The burning of fossil fuels and the release of nuclear radiation to produce electricity, move our vehicles, and manufacture our amenities is fouling our nest. That makes it harder to breathe clean air, drink pure water, eat healthy food and avoid disease. It’s time for a new plan. Tennessee Valley Authority is creating a new Integrated Resource Plan (IRP) to set power generating guidelines for the future. TVA generates electricity and sends it to distributors who then deliver it to you. Right now, TVA generates electricity using water (11 percent), coal (36 percent), nuclear (20 percent), and gas (24 percent). About 6 percent is purchased from other providers. Renewables, such as solar and wind, plus energy efficiency and energy demand make up only 3 percent of the entire mix. Within that pitifully low number lies opportunity to rethink how energy is generated. Yet TVA seems reluctant to seriously increase use of renewables and efficiency even though they are the cheapest and quickest to put in place. Instead, TVA has proffered suggestions to increase the percentage of nuclear to 41 percent as coal is reduced to 29 percent. “ Increase solar incentives to support the burgeoning Tennessee solar industry.” Shades of Green That continues to lock TVA into business as usual, when the agency’s continued existence requires change. Consider these facts: First, even though several coal-fired power plant units are being closed, TVA has more capacity than it needs to meet demand. Second, the Chattanooga region has the most risk from nuclear radiation and its radioactive waste legacy in the Tennessee Valley. Further, none of the IRP scenarios currently being considered include thinking about safety or health of citizens who must bear the impacts of dirty air, water, soil, and radiation. Here’s a better way: Aim for an IRP vision with 35 percent renewables. Begin a transition phasing out coal and nuclear generation in favor of solar, wind, and energy efficiency. TVA has already committed to closing 18 of their coal-fired units (2,728 megawatts). Take advantage of Clean Line Energy Partners, the business establishing transmission lines to bring 3500 megawatts of wind power to TVA. Move away from nuclear. In light of Fukushima Daichi nuclear meltdowns with 150,000 Japanese permanently evacuated from their homes and increased cancer rates, close accidentprone Browns Ferry Reactor 1(1100 Megawatts). Do not relicense Sequoyah. Instead, quadruple energy efficiency programs through distributors. Buy into solar. The Solar Energy Industries Association reports that 92 percent of all new electrical generation in Tennessee in 2013 came from solar installations. Increase solar incentives to support the burgeoning Tennessee solar industry. Demand that TVA invest in a sustaining and safe future for the Valley. It can be done. Sandra Kurt is an environmental community activist and is presently working through the Urban Century Institute. Visit her website at enviroedu.net Come see the latest fashions from Frankie & Julian’s ATTON HALL join us at STR a, TN , Chattanoog 3146 Broad St unique gifts for all your gift giving needs Chattanooga’s Home for locally made jewelry, pottery, art, glassware and so much more... BOUT|QUE BRANDS UP TO 90% OFF!! MARCH 20-22 Glassware: Prentice Hicks • Chattanooga, Tennessee facebook.com/WarehouseBoutiqueSale 330 Frazier Ave | Mon-Fri: 10-6 Sat: 10-5 | 423.266.0585 | plumnellyshop.com GIFTS • HOME • BRIDAL • JEWELRY 6 • The Pulse • march 20-26, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com 1M 5K APRIL 5 $25 1 MILE NE ile W! Fu nR un $35 @ 2 PM 5K Chattanooga State Amnicola Campus ALL net proceeds will be used LOCALLY to bene t people with disabilities. Wine Spectator Award of Excellence 2004-2013 M-Th 5-9:30pm • Fri-Sat 5-10pm 1278 market st • 423.266.4400 stjohnsrestaurant.com chattanoogapulse.com • March 20-26, 2014 • The Pulse • 7 my friends shared their frustrations with ordering wine in a restaurant. But choosing wine doesn’t have to be complicated or expensive. A few simple tools can help you have a more enjoyable wine experience. Secrets of the Sommelier Revealed! Recently, Yet what does that mean, exactly? Or better yet, what exactly does a sommelier do? Well, the biggest and most important thing for a sommelier is to provide excellent service, knowledge and to create an amazing dining experience. We look at it as an adventure in finding out what you like. In my opinion, the best sommeliers can recommend wine in all price ranges. I personally don’t work on commission—I work to find the bottle best suited to my guest. As a diner, the first thing I do when I look at a wine list is decide whether I want to drink wine to pair with the food or just to enjoy on its own. If I want to pair my food, I look for the appropriate style of wine that best suits the dish. I always say, “Pair the dominant element of the dish with the dominant element of the wine.” For example, one of my favorite pairings is barbecue with Zinfandel. (No, not white Zinfandel—red Zinfandel.) Zinfandel is a red grape variety typically grown in California. Tasting notes include: jammy, berry fruit (raspberry, black cherry, blackberry, cassis, blueberry) as well as black pepper, vanilla, and smoke. Barbecue has a great combination of smoky and sweet—just like Zinfandel. L by Michelle Richards photos by Josh Lang et’s begin with the wine list. It’s common to be intimidated, confused or overwhelmed by the wine list. Here’s a tip: Take your time. There is no rush in choosing a wine, especially if it is for a special occasion. Don’t let the server or sommelier rush you. I am a sommelier, or wine steward: a trained professional constantly increasing my knowledge of wine, beer, and spirits. » p10 8 • The Pulse • march 20-26, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com chattanoogapulse.com • March 20-26, 2014 • The Pulse • 9 DeBarge Winery is the first and only urban winery in Chattanooga. The winery operates within a historic brick building on Rossville Ave., behind the Main Street Fire Station 1 nestled in the heart of the up-and-coming Southside district. DeBarge Vineyards & Winery An Urban Winery • Open Tuesday through Sunday • Free Tastings • Business/Special Event Space • Gift boxes/baskets • Located on the Southside debargewines.com 423-710-8426 If I just want to enjoy a nice bottle of wine, then I decide whether I am in the mood for white or red, followed by what type of grape variety I want— Cabernet Sauvignon, Pinot Noir, Syrah, etc. If I do not know what type of grape I want, I tell the sommelier or server what style of body, ranging from light to fullbodied, and flavor profile, ranging from fruity to earthy. This can really help the server or sommelier when narrowing down the list. If I don’t know at all what I want to drink that night, I tell the server or sommelier what I typically drink. There are a lot of wine descriptors out there that are confusing and can be misconstrued, which is why it is best to just to explain what you typically enjoy. They will either find you that exact style of wine or they will take those flavors and introduce you to something new. This is where the adventure happens for me. It’s like buying the perfect birthday present. It is perfect for that person because they never even knew it even existed. More about the wine list If all else fails, here is how you navigate the wine list. Champagnes and sparkling wines start at the top and are typically in order of price or body style; again, as in light to fullbodied. As you scan further down the page, you will have your white and then red wines. They will either be in order of price, body style, grape variety, or any combination of the three. However, there is a trap waiting for you when you scroll through the inexpensive bottles. The second inexpensive bottle is probably a “not so good” wine. Res- 10 • The Pulse • march 20-26, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com taurants realize that insecure customers pick the second-least expensive bottle of wine to hide their lack of knowledge. So, they often put a bottle that is more inexpensive than the first wine listed because it will give them the highest profit margin. If you are feeling adventurous, pick out a grape variety you have never heard of. If you’re interested in a sweeter white wine, but are wanting to step outside of Riesling, try Torrontes, Chenin Blanc, or Gewurztraminer. If you enjoy spicier red wines, but are tired of Malbec, try Aglianico, Zinfandel or Tempranillo. And then there’s buying wine People frequently visit the wine store to pick up a bottle of wine for dinner, special occasions, or sometimes to cellar. When consumers walk through those doors, they are immediately bombarded with wine labels and catchy signs. As they travel down the many rows of wine bottles, each bottle is labeled differently. Some of the labels are very simply done, while others are extravagant and eye-catching. According to the book Wine Wars by Michael Veseth, “Wine is a mystery to most customers. They have little confidence in their ability to tell what’s in the bottle as they stare at the wine wall or puzzle over a restaurant wine list. Some of them are adventurous and treat it as a treasure hunt game, but far too many buy the same thing over and over again or worse, walk away in frustration buying nothing at all.” The first rule of thumb in buying wine is to find a wine store that you are comfortable in and that has a well-trained staff. Most wine shops are organized by country or grape variety. You have to decide which style works best for you. There might be something new that just came into the store that only an employee might know about. In some wine shops around town, staff members pick wines they like and place them by the register for wine shoppers. Next, share your discoveries with your friends. A common misconception about buying wine is “the more expensive, the better the wine.” I couldn’t disagree more with this statement. A lot of well-known regions carry a price tag with them. Napa Valley wines are going to be among the most expensive in California. The cost per acre is incredibly high in the valley and that is built into the price of the wines. But if you venture down to Paso Robles or Santa Barbara, the price won’t be as high. If you’re seeking an inexpensive price point, try wines that come from France, Italy, Spain, Argentina and New Zealand. When I find a wine that is under $15 and is a killer wine, I share it with everyone I know— especially when I am working as a sommelier because guests come to me specifically for that. We all enjoy a hidden gem. Shelf-talkers and wine ratings are another influential part of the wine-buying experience. There are two styles: simple, discount tags to attract savvy shoppers, and the number tag that gives “Robert Parker’s Wine Advocate” or “The Wine Spectator” ratings of a wine. Costco, for instance, signed an exclusive agreement with “Wine Enthusiast” magazine to use its wine ratings in Costco stores. Shelf-talkers are an asset to helping you solidify your decision. However, know that you know what you like best, so that should always be the deciding factor. Which leads me to my next point: Be adventurous. Most wine shops give a discount to their customers if you buy a certain number of bottles of wine. The typical discount happens when you buy a case. And buying a case is a great way to experiment with trying new wines. That is how you grow and learn. The first case of wine you buy should be wines from different parts of the world. Start with six whites and six reds and take notes on your experience. Pictures are another way to catalog wines you have enjoyed. They are also helpful tools to show the wine professional what previous wines you have tried. Next, narrow down which grape varieties you liked best. Once you have found grape varieties that are your favorites, then try them from different countries. This helps you to see what style of wine you like. Not breaking the budget Finally, I understand that trying new wines all the time is expensive. There are restaurants and wine stores in town that do wine tastings. For example, Riverside Wine & Spirits does a wine tasting every Saturday from 3-5 p.m. and these are free. Also, many restaurants in town do half glasses of wine for half the price. It is the perfect way to try a couple of different wines by the glass without having to spend too much. Think of sommeliers, waiters, and wine shop staff as your tour guides on your wine adventure. We enjoy helping you navigate your own path through the vineyard. `A votre santé! chattanoogapulse.com • March 20-26, 2014 • The Pulse • 11 Belle Ambiance is a nod to perfect moments, beautiful places and relaxing with friends. Rich, indulgent wines to bask in the mood. What’s your Belle Ambiance? CREATE YOUR OWN BELLE AMBIANCE 12 • The Pulse • march 20-26, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com Nectar of the Gods—Food to Match 212 Market’s wine list has something for everyone 2 12 MARKET HAS BEEN SERVING EXCEPTIONAL food to downtown Chattanooga diners since 1992—but you already knew that. You already knew that 212 Market was conceived as a restaurant dedicated to featuring quality local foods, prepared with the skill of an artisan and the soul of a Chattanoogan. And you already knew that 212 is the go-to option for delicious comestibles for anyone seeking dining options such as vegetarian, vegan, gluten-free or for those living with a food allergy. What you may not know is that 212 Market is serious about wine. This doesn’t mean that you will have to deal with a pretentious, insufferable, sommelier who will roll his eyes at the first hint of timidity as you scan the wine list for something you recognize. This means that 212 Market is committed to providing all of the quality, selection and support you need when you are craving MICHAEL the perfect taste of vino to go with your meal, whether you are a committed oenophile or a casual wine drinker who doesn’t know a balthazar from a barrique. While I enjoy the occasional glass of wine, my favorite dining companion is a complete wine geek (and borderline wine snob). I tolerate her geekiness because she’s always given me good advice and because I’m convinced she picked it up inadvertently and through osmosis on a backpacking trip to France in the ’80s. Her giddy enthusiasm at my suggestion we go to 212 Market for dinner was my first hint that their wine selection was above par. My second hint was when she snatched the voluminous, hardbound wine list from my hand as if it held the cure for cancer. 212’s wine list catalogues a collection of more than 400 labels acquired over the restaurant’s lifetime. While the list focuses on affordable and midrange wines, there are certain treasures to be found in the collection that cause the staff to speak about them as if they were beloved family members—almost becoming m e l a n choly at the prospect of them being THOMAS consumed. Their dedication to offering a selection of quality producers and a carefully curated, thematic match to their menu in both price and style have earned them Wine Spectator’s “Award of Excellence” every year for more than a decade. As my friend pored over the wine list, I began to survey the menu for an appetizer, quickly settling on the Mahogany-Glazed Point Judith Calamari. Squid is to Point Judith, Rhode Island what blue crab is to Chesapeake Bay, Maryland. Not only are these calamari some of the most tender and flavorful I Dining Out have ever tasted, but the mahogany glaze that Chef Moses developed for this dish is the perfect contrast of savory and sweet, with hints of balsamic and honey that are simply addictive. Topped with tangy pickled onions and resting on a bed of peppery arugula, it is no wonder this is one of 212’s most popular dishes. We paired the calamari with a Louis Jadot Macon Villages Chardonnay. Its floral, apple and citrus notes complemented the calamari dish beautifully. As we finished the appetizer, we began to realize our eyes may have gotten ahead of our appetites, so we opted to share an entrée. I had been eyeing the Coffee-Crusted Duck Breast since we had been seated, and was determined to stand my ground for the duck. I am happy to report it was a spectacularly good decision. The duck breast was a perfect medi- “ 212 Market is committed to providing all of the quality, selection and support you need when you are craving the perfect taste of vino to go with your meal.” um-rare, and the ratio of luscious duck fat, crisp skin and succulent breast meat could not have been better. The coffee crust added to the magic of the maillard reaction to create a smoky companion to the duck’s rich flavor. The sweet citrus flavors of the Chattanooga Whiskey orange sauce dotting the plate paid homage to the classic flavors of Duck à l’Orange. The duck breast was perched atop a sweet potato and spring pea hash that was perfectly al dente, while remaining crisp and bright on the palate. My friend and our server huddled, eventually deciding on a Kenwood, Russian River Pinot Noir to accompany the duck—and once again it was a stunning pairing. This wine was bright, with smooth tannins and red cherry flavors seemingly created just for this duck dish. We could not have been happier with the pairing. Every visit to 212 Market is a culinary trip to heaven. Now that I have found the wonderful world of wine that can accompany their delicious food, I have a new set of reasons to dine there again and again. Go to 212 for the food, stay for the wine—and enjoy it all. chattanoogapulse.com • March 20-26, 2014 • The Pulse • 13 CITY SCENE Heavy Hitters from Chattanooga Everything And The Blues Legend Taj Mahal lays it down at Track 29 Henry Saint Clair Fredericks, Jr. was born in Harlem in 1942 to a gospelsinging mother and a West Indian jazz piano-playing father. Growing up in this musical household, he was exposed to a whole gamut of musical styles. As a young, collegebound man, he had a series of dreams about Gandhi and social justice, and out of those dreams came the name he’d become famous with: Taj Mahal. In his 50 years of music since, Taj Mahal has stayed true to the blues—but he’s also incorporated many influences from all around the world. He’s played with a Who’s Who of music legends, including Howlin’ Wolf and Muddy Waters, Ry Cooder, and the Rolling Stones. And along the way, he’s become a legend himself, winning Grammys in 1997 (“Señor Blues”) and 2000 (“Shoutin’ in Key”). This is not the time to stay in on a Sunday night. Get your blues shoes on and truck on down to Track 29 to hear Taj and his trio. You’ll be kicking yourself if you don’t. Taj Mahal Trio Sunday, March 23, 8 p.m. Track 29 1400 Market St. (423) 521-2929, track29.co T HE FIRST THING I HEARD ABOUT OKINAWA (THE band) was that they were a psychedelic group. This piqued my interest. There will always be a special place in my heart for the genre. A lot of great music has come from it, and Pink Floyd was the first band I ever became truly and genuinely obsessed with (still one of my favorites). On the other hand, I also have a healthy dose of skepticism regarding bands that apply the label to themselves. Often, “We’re psychedelic” really means, “We don’t know all the chords yet but we’ve got a big ol’ box of expensive effects pedals.” In the case of Okinawa, “We’re a psychedelic band” actually means, “We’re easily one of the most polished, well-planned, thoughtfully executed professional psychedelic bands to ever come from this place.” OK—that wouldn’t make a good album title (necessarily) and those are my words, not the band’s, but I stand by it. This brainchild of local producer and performer Charles Allison brings every day of his 20 years in the scene to bear. Not really so long a time for a rough lump of coal to be turned into such a polished little gem. Allison is joined in this project by Josh Bates on guitar and harmonies, Ian Waters on keys and harmonies, John Lazenby on bass, Todd Garland on drums and Matt Campbell on percussion. While the project may be Allison’s concept, it would be unfair to assume that any of the players wasn’t just as invested in the work. These songs aren’t played, or recorded, they are crafted, lovingly, with a great deal of time and attention paid to getting them “just so”. The precision of their construction is so refined that you don’t Music MARC T. MICHAEL “ THU3.20 PROG ROCKING Glass Hammer • One of Chattanooga's most legendary progressive rock bands is back for a special one night only performance. If you love Yes, Kansas, Emerson, Lake & Palmer and early Genesis, you'll love Glass Hammer. 8 p.m. • Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com frI3.21 LOCAL LEGEND Roger Alan Wade • One of the the most popular singer/songwriters in the city, as well as one of the nicest and most down-to-earth guys you'll ever meet, Roger has been entertaining crowds large and small for decades, and shows no sign of stopping. 10 p.m. • T-Bones, 1419 Chestnut St. tboneschattanooga.com SAT3.22 RED HOT SWING The 9th Street Stompers • In their own words, The 9th Street Stompers are "... an outfit of well-dressed no-counts chopping on acoustic instruments and singing about life, death, love, and liquor." Come get your red hot swing on! 7 p.m. • The Honest Pint 35 Patten Pkwy. thehonestpint.com Imagine a sonic version of ‘Iron Chef’ in which the winner was given a box of disco parts and told to make something beautiful out of it.” 14 • The Pulse • march 20-26, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com Dead Testaments Release "231 MLK" Saturday at JJ's Last summer I did a piece on the Dead Testaments and was given the opportunity to preview some rough cuts from an EP they had in the works. The tracks were rough and missing a fair amount of the final instrumentation, but even so the shape of things to come was there and it was clearly going to be very good. Turns out I may have underestimated the project. It is the best thing I have heard this year. As one reviewer (me) put it, “It is ear candy for those who appreciate the macabre.” Edward Gorey would have illustrated the cover just on general principle were he still around. Smoothly complex, evocative of the noir work of Cohen, Waits and Cave with maybe a hint of Decemberists to bind it all together, it is beautifully conceived and executed with the highest production values. Your chance to find out for yourself is this Saturday, Mar 22 at JJs Bohemia. The show starts at 10 p.m. and features the Dead Testaments with special guests Hazes and Gorgeous. The EP will be available for a negligible five bucks, a bargain several times over. —MTM photo courtesy of 423BraggingRights really notice it. Every tune sounds light and dreamy…breezy perhaps. But make no mistake—no one attains this level of good-natured “laid back” without putting some serious effort in to it. “As Long As You’re There” reminds me of the Shins (before the lady-boy from Scrubs ruined them). I’ve listened to it at least a dozen times today and could go for another dozen without getting tired. The next track, “Maybe We Should Break Up Now” starts off with a dash of mid-’60s Beatles (what I consider their artistic peak) but then unexpectedly takes a page or two from Elvis Costello (honestly, the title should have been a clue). Full disclosure: I have no idea if either of those artists served as inspiration for this tune. What I am saying is that when I hear it, that’s who it evokes. Purposefullly or not, there is definitely some common ground there. Go see them. Bring a date. You’ll understand why later. The third track, “Misunderstanding,” is a little trickier to decipher. It…it almost seems a touch, disco. Before anyone takes offense let me offer some context: Imagine a son- ic version of “Iron Chef” in which the winner was given a box of disco parts and told to make something beautiful out of it. The final track is the acoustic tune “As Long As You’re There” which honestly makes me think of what the Everly Brothers might have done had they been born in the ’70s. Okinawa is currently working on a full-length album, and rest assured you will hear about it here as soon it’s ready to go. In the meantime, the band can be found playing around town regularly, particularly at Honest Pint and JJ’s Bohemia. Go see them. Bring a date. You’ll understand why later. honest music local and regional shows Thu, Mar 20 9pm Thu, Mar 27 9pm Endelouz Cd Release with Gold Plated Gold [$5] Spoken Nerd with Floami Fly [$5] Live Trivia every Sunday afternoon from 4-6pm Sun, March 23 @ 7pm : The 9th Street Stompers [FREE] Full food menu serving lunch and dinner. 11am-2am, 7 days a week. 35 Patten Parkway * 423.468.4192 thehonestpint.com * facebook.com/TheHonestPint chattanoogapulse.com • March 20-26, 2014 • The Pulse • 15 20 ROAD TO NIGHTFALL FRI 9p 21 SAT FLY BY RADIO 10p 22 WED DECIBELLA 9p 26 THU AGORI TRIBE 8p 27 RUBIK'S GROOVE FRI 10p 28 UNKNOWN HINSON SAT 9p 29 GLASS HAMMER THU THE PROG-ROCK LEGENDS RETURN! 8p WINNER HEADLINES NIGHTFALL! FEMALE FRONTED ROCK AND ROLL with THE AVERAGE & VINO TAKES CHATTANOOGA UNPLUGGED LIVE MUSIC MARCH MUSIC CALENDAR CHATTANOOGA Zac Brown Band 5709 Lee Hwy. chattazooga.com Open Mike with Hap Henniger 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Day’s Inn) (423) 634-9191 Afro, Great Barrier Reefs 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com 3040 Blythe Rd., Cleveland. clevelandcowboychurch.com Mike Phillips 7 p.m. Becky’s Restaurant and Spirits, 2503 Westside Dr. (423) 485-3873 River City Sessions 7 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. thecamphouse.com Campus Composers Concert 7:30 p.m. Cadek 200 Assembly Hall, 725 Oak St. utc.edu/cadek-conservatory Andy Grammer, The Ready Set 7:30 p.m. UTC Mackenzie Arena, 720 E. 4th St. utc.edu/mckenzie-arena Mountain Opry 8 p.m. Walden’s Ridge Civic Center, 2501 Fairmount Pk. (423) 866-3252 Nathan Bell CD Release Show 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org Logan Murrell 8:30 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com Road To Nightfall: Finals 9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Cherub 9 p.m. Track 29, 1400 Market St. track29.co Crunk Bone Jones 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Day’s Inn) (423) 634-9191 Roger Alan Wade 10 p.m. T-Bones, 1419 Chestnut St. tboneschattanooga.com Weeknight 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com One Night Stand 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com thursday3.20 Red Bank Bluegrass Jam 6:30 p.m. Grace Church of the Nazarene, 6310 Dayton Blvd. chattanoogagrace.com Forever Bluegrass 7 p.m. Whole Foods Market, 301 Manufacturers Rd. wholefoodsmarket.com Sacred Harp Singing 7 p.m. St. Elmo Fire Hall, 4501 St. Elmo Ave. stelmofirehall.com Songwriter Shootout 7 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. thecamphouse.com Zac Brown Band 7 p.m. UTC Mackenzie Arena, 720 E 4th St. utc.edu/mckenzie-arena Glass Hammer, Amber Fults 8 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Endelouz CD Release, Gold Plated Gold, Static Revival 9 p.m. The Honest Pint 35 Patten Pkwy. thehonestpint.com 423PK Fundraiser #3 9 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. thehonestpint.com Battle of the Bands II 9 p.m. Sky Zoo, with GILL YUM 18+ SHOW A BLAST OF 80'S MUSIC with FIFTH ON THE FLOOR 4.1 UPTOWN BIG BAND SWING PARTY 4.2 CHRIS KNIGHT: ACOUSTIC with CARDON SMITH COMING IN APRIL friday3.21 Senior Recital: Maddie Taylor, Michael Robb 6 p.m. Lee University Squires Recital Hall, 1250 Parker St. NE, Cleveland Tn. leeuniversity.edu By The Way Bluegrass 7 p.m. Cleveland Cowboy Church, THE REVIVALISTS FRI THROW DOWN FROM NEW ORLEANS 9p 4 Pulse pick: juicy j Songwriter and record producer from Memphis, Tennessee. He is a founding member of the Southern hip hop group Three 6 Mafia, and is now taking his solo tour around the country. Juicy J Saturday, 8 p.m. Track 29, 1400 Market St. track29.co MITCH ROSSELL A NIGHT OF ROCKIN' COUNTRY! SAT 9p 12 ALL SHOWS 21+ UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED • NON-SMOKING VENUE HOT MUSIC • FINE BEER • GREAT FOOD BUY TICKETS ONLINE • RHYTHM-BREWS.COM 221 MARKET STREET saturday3.22 Christie Burns, Matt Evans, Pattee Wilbanks, Northwoods, Russell Gulley, 16 • The Pulse • march 20-26, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com MUSIC CALENDAR 901 Carter St (Inside Days Inn) 423-634-9191 Thursday, March 20: 9pm Open Mic with Hap Henninger Friday, March 21: 9pm Crunk Bone Jones Saturday, March 22: 10pm Hap Henninger Tuesday, March 25: 7pm ● ● The Ready Set The Tin Cup Rattlers 11 a.m. Audubon Acres, 900 N Sanctuary Rd. chattanoogaaudubon.org The Mason Dixieland Line 12:30 p.m. The Chattanooga River Market, Tennessee Aquarium Plaza, 1 Broad St. chattanoogarivermarket.com The 9th Street Stompers 7 p.m. The Honest Pint 35 Patten Pkwy. thehonestpint.com Juicy J 8 p.m. Track 29, 1400 Market St. track29.co Nathan Bell 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org Convertibull 8 p.m. American Legion Post 81, 227 James Asbury Ln., Cleveland. tnlegionpost81.org Leverage 8 p.m. Sky Zoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. chattazooga.com Logan Murrell 8:30 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com MES presents Jack Rentfro, Apocalypso Quartet & TriCurious 8:30 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347, barkinglegs.org Fly By Radio 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Hap Henninger 10 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Day’s Inn) (423) 634-9191 Gabe Newell 10 p.m. T-Bones, 1419 Chestnut St. tboneschattanooga.com Dead Testaments, Hazes, Gorgeous 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com One Night Stand 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com 1501 Long St. enzosmarket.com Sunday Jam 7 p.m. Ziggy’s Underground, 607 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 265-8711 The 9th Street Stompers 7 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. thehonestpint.com Taj Mahal Trio 8 p.m. Track 29, 1400 Market St. track29.co Blind Draw 9 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com 1053 Church St. SE, Cleveland. leeuniversity.edu Server/Hotel Appreciation Night $5 Pitchers $2 Wells $1.50 Domestics tuesday3.25 Open Mic with Mike McDade 9 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pk. tremonttavern.com Peelander Z 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com All shows are free with dinner or 2 drinks! Stop by & check out our daily specials! Happy Hour: Mon-Fri: 4-7pm $1 10oz drafts, $3 32oz drafts, $2 Wells, $1.50 Domestics, Free Appetizers Join us on Facebook wednesday3.26 Old Time Music Community Jam 6 p.m. Enzo’s Market, 1501 Long St. enzosmarket.com Jack Wright & Andrew Drury 9 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org Decibella, The Average, The Vino Takes 9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Jesse James 9 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com ARE YOU READY FOR SPRING? monday3.24 Charlie Oxford, JD Eicher, Russell Howard 7 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. thecamphouse.com Music Monday 7 p.m. Pasha Coffee and Tea, 3914 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 475-5482 Big Band Night 7 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, Coconut Room, 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Lee University Symphony Orchestra 7:30 p.m. Lee University Conn Center & Dixon Center Auditorium, sunday3.23 Josh Gilbert, The Station House Singers, Delta Soul 2 p.m. Camp Jordan, 323 Camp Jordan Pkwy. eastridgeparksandrec.com Tennessee American Guild of Organist Centennial Celebration 4 p.m. St. Paul’s Episcopal Church, 305 W. 7th St. stpaulschatt.org Sunday Night Irish Jam Session 5 p.m. Enzo’s Market, Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ chattanoogapulse.com. zili a r B $ 35 Wax an www.honeybunnywax.com 423-314-0403 s thi on off i t n 5 Me for $ d a chattanoogapulse.com • March 20-26, 2014 • The Pulse • 17 Record Reviews ernie paik Cult Classic, Gentle Amble The best of the newest with Ernie Paik on well-worn musical territory on her new self-titled solo debut EP, with several key features. First of all, Gardner has cultivated her own unique voice, with both grace and grit and an admirable control. While not blatantly aping any particular singer, Gardner’s singing has a little bit of Dolly Parton’s country enunciation, a smidgeon of Billie Holiday’s pretty and bluesy wilt and just a hint of Hope Sandoval’s shadowed, breezy, wistful reverberating bliss-out. Also notable is Gardner’s backing band, which is a perfect complement to her calming singing and strumming, with the nuanced rhythm section of bassist Taylor Coker (like Gardner, a former member of The Black Lillies) and percussionist Jon Whitlock, Seth Hopper on violin and trumpet, and cellist Cecilia Miller. The 6-song EP includes four originals and two adapted traditional tracks, “Two Soldiers” and “Same Old Man,” spotlighting Gardner’s affinity for balladry and Appalachian folk with country and soul infusions, and the release is impeccably recorded, with a natural sounding balance that just feels right and the fluidity of a live performance. The bright original “Make Me Blue” features earworm melodies and a moderately paced take on gypsy jazz, with standout vibrant violin playing from Hopper; his downward glissandos mirror Gardner’s line, “Some say trees fall, you pretend you don’t love me at all.” “Mess Up My Hair” assumes a sauntering, smoldering warmth with trumpet and cello accents, and “Waiting” features the gentle amble of a frontier ballad with a pleasing cello/violin call-and-response. While ostensibly modest and unassuming, Gardner’s debut slithers in and stays with the listener, with gorgeous singing and spotless performances. with ProbCause and Carousel FRIDAY • MARCH 21 DOORS @ 8PM • SHOW @ 9PM $15 ADVANCE • $17 DAY OF CHERUB SEATED SHOW SUNDAY • MARCH 23 DOORS @ 7PM • SHOW @ 8PM $23 ADVANCE • $25 DAY OF TAJ MAHAL TRIO Family Fodder Monkey Banana Kitchen (Staubgold) Leah Gardner Leah Gardner (leahgardner.com) electric guitar tremolos and junkyard percussion blasts. If you don’t like this track, Family Fodder is not for you, and this writer can’t help you. The album’s weirdest moments are “Monkey” and “Banana” which take inspiration from (collaborator and contemporary) This Heat’s tape loop exercises, tattooing vocal snippets onto the listener’s brain, such as “Reasons in the monkey house” and “With a banana” with studio manipulation and a teasing, childlike playfulness. The new reissue on the German label Staubgold is available on vinyl and CD, and the CD version is a jam-packed 80-minute disc also featuring the EP Schizophrenia Party and two singles, “Film Music” and “The Big Dig.” As much as this writer loves this music, this reissue has a few issues. First of all, the track order is not the original order, and “Monkey” has been abridged so that all the material would fit on a 80-minute disc. Much (all?) of the material has been apparently remastered from vinyl, so surface noise and high-frequency distortion can be heard at times. Finally, surely this edition merits an essay or at least ample liner notes, but apart from credits, it’s lacking in that department. Despite these issues, this writer welcomes any opportunity to introduce newcomers to the strange and unique world of Family Fodder, a culture mash-up of highbrow and lowbrow aims fueled by an unfettered, entertaining cleverness. T THE DIRTY GUV’NAHS with Cereus Bright FRIDAY • MARCH 28 DOORS @ 8PM • SHOW @ 9PM $15 ADVANCE AND DAY OF Featuring Judah and The Lion SATURDAY • APRIL 12 DOORS @ 7PM • SHOW @ 8PM $15 ADVANCE • $17 DAY OF DREW HOLCOMB MORE SHOWS @ TRACK29.CO 3 WAYS TO PURCHASE TICKETS TRACK29.CO • (423) 521-2929 BOX OFFICE OPEN 10AM - 6PM EVERY FRIDAY he British collective Family Fodder—founded by Alig Pearce (a.k.a. Alig Fodder) in the ’70s—is one of those groups that this writer wants to scream and shout about, with arms flailing like a madman, until everyone in the world has heard them. It presses all the right buttons, with an unusual pop aesthetic that is informed by post-punk, dub, classical music, tape-loop and sound experimentation, dadaism and the joy of absurdity. The band’s insanely inventive 1980 album Monkey Banana Kitchen is a bona fide underground cult classic, and until now, oddly enough, it has never been properly reissued on any format since its original vinyl release over 30 years ago. If there’s a track that serves as a litmus test, it’s the third track on the album, “Savoir Faire,” which stretches the notion of new wave pop, bursting with excitement and a propulsive beat; Dominique Levillain’s singsongy vocals are in both English and French, with synth sparks in the background, T he nebulous field of Americana is a crowded one, with a built-in audience, and it seems like any individual who knows his or her way around open tunings and can pose for photos standing on railroad tracks can get a gig. However, that also underscores the difficulty of standing apart from the crowd with a distinctive, memorable touch, and Knoxville-based singer/guitarist Leah Gardner has managed to offer a refreshing and satisfying take 18 • The Pulse • march 20-26, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com Spa NG S! Lose the stress. Love the savings. $ 39 9 9 1-hour massage INTRODUCTORY $ session* 49 9 9 1-hour Murad INTRODUCTORY Healthy Skin facial session* ® MassageEnvy.com · Convenient Hours · Franchises Available Open 7 Days: M-F 8am-10pm, Sat 8am-6pm, Sun 10am-6pm Choose your offer and schedule today. FRAZIER-NORTHSHORE 345 Frazier Avenue, Suite 108 better this spring with a Next to Regions Bank healthy Murad facial (423) 757-2900 CHATTANOOGA PULSE crop ad to 5.172 x 5.135 *See clinic for details. Rates and services may vary by location and session. Not all Massage Envy locations Look younger, feel are licensed to offer facial services. Check with the speciﬁc location or see MassageEnvy.com. Each location is independently owned and operated. ©2013 Massage Envy Franchising, LLC. Exclusively featuring y skin, $ $ INTRODUCTORY 1-hour Murad Healthy Skin facial session* ® UTC Campus Activities Board presents INTRODUCTORY 1-hour massage session* 747.02.14 Massage Envy 1.2.indd 1 2/11/14 9:31 AM nchises Available un 10am-6pm Exclusively featuring ltation and dressing. Prices subject to change. all Massage Envy locations are licensed to offer tional local taxes and fees may apply. nchising, LLC. 7:30PM MCKENZIE ARENA at the box office or online www.gomocs.com with valid ID at the box office All tickets are general admission and applicable fees apply. Ticket prices increase day of show. ON SALE NOW! SOLDIERS & SAILORS MEMORIAL AUDITORIUM MAY 12 • 8PM Buy tickets at Memorial Auditorium Box Office Online at ETIX.com or Charge By Phone: 423-642-TIXS (8497) UTC is an EEO/AA/Titles VI & IX/Section 504/ADA/ADEA institution. E040250002-009-14 chattanoogapulse.com • March 20-26, 2014 • The Pulse • 19 ENTERTAIMENT Possibilities from Impending Failure SHLEY HAMILTON IS QUEERING PAINTING. She gave me a preview last week of her work-in-progress that will be exhibited in UTC Art Department’s first of two senior shows on Apr. 1. She’s just now about to graduate from UTC, but her work has already gotten a lot of attention, including a featured profile in The Pulse’s 2012 State of the Arts issue. Queering something, she explains, means questioning its traditions and norms—like canvas and paint in her field—and deviating from them. Her queered painting is a three-dimensional assemblage of found objects. Some are as she found them, some have her marks on them. She’s become known for layered 2-D abstractions on large canvases, mostly in a dark color palette, with layers of overlapping and obscured shapes and words, but she wanted to push herself far outside her artistic comfort zone. “I was wondering how I could push it further, because this became really comfortable for me after a while because I’ve done hundreds of them,” she says. When she does that kind of painting, and now this queered painting, “Part of my practice is walking the streets of Chattanooga and being aware of my surroundings. I call myself a flaneur at my core.” The idea of the flaneur, the leisurely stroller through urban streets, began in the nineteenth century and is typified by the poet Charles Baudelaire who called the flaneur the “botanist of the sidewalk” and insisted that the artist must be immersed in the city. “I’m always taking pictures of moments on the streets that interest me,” she says. “That entails also collecting these found objects.” It Must Be Market Time! The Chattanooga River Market kicks off again this Saturday The first day of spring is upon us—and so is opening day of the Chattanooga River Market. Back for its fifth season on March 22, the outdoor market showcases local artisan talent every Saturday at the Tennessee Aquarium Plaza from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Featuring handmade products like jewelry, children’s clothing, pottery, photography, woodworks, soaps, glassworks, and artisan bath products, organizers describe it as an “opportunity for locals and tourists alike to shop for unique gifts while supporting our area artists.” But the market isn’t just a place for shopping. It also features live music and morning yoga classes. While browsing from booth to booth, visitors will be able to listen to a local band each week from 12:30 p.m. to 3 p.m. Opening Day kicks off the 2014 jam session with The Mason Dixieland Line. Described as the “Dixieland version of Sweet Georgia Sound,” The Mason Dixieland Line has performed at venues across the Chattanooga area since 2000. For those looking for some Saturday morning yoga, the market also offers a free class each week at 10 a.m. Classes will be held outdoors and will be led by the Chattanooga yoga community. “There’s just no better way to enjoy a Saturday than experiencing downtown and all it has to offer, including the Tennessee Aquarium,” organizers say. The River Market kicks off the market season for Chattanooga with the Sunday market following in April and a new Wednesday market opening in May. For more information, including a schedule of events and entertainment, visit chattanoogamarket.com — Madeline Chambliss A Arts RICH BAILEY THU3.20 ART + ISSUES Diversity Is! Now Deal With It? • Explore the ways we understand and engage with diversity in our community with UTC professors Dr. Bart Weathington and Dr. Brian O’Leary. 6 p.m. • Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968, huntermuseum.org frI3.21 AGATHA CHRISTIE Opening Night Gala: “And Then There Were None” • Ten people, each with something to hide and something to fear, are invited to a lonely mansion on a distant island by a host who fails to appear. 7 p.m. • Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8538, theatrecentre.com SAT3.22 FAIRY FAMILY FUN Nature Center Fairy House Workshop • Learn a little bit about how fairy houses started and then receive a chest of fairy gold, so you can buy building and decorating materials in the fairy market place. 1O a.m. • Chattanooga Arboretum and Nature Center, 400 Garden Rd. (423) 821-1160, chattanoogaanc.org The poet Charles Baudelaire called the flaneur the ‘botanist of the sidewalk’ and insisted that the artist must be immersed in the city.” “ 20 • The Pulse • march 20-26, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com Ashley Hamilton with one of her interactive installations She showed me an old suitcase, open against the wall, with half a door hinge still attached to a piece of door, a curved piece of curved pressed wood with milled holes in it, a card filled with thumbtacks almost fresh from the store and dozens of similar artifacts. Against the wall were several torn fragments of wallboard, some with marks she had made on them. “They’ve all been abandoned at one point in time, but they find recovery through my own fascination,” she says. “I empathize with these found objects. I recover them by giving them new possibilities and meanings through a different context in an art form.” The piece she’s working on is made entirely of these found objects, plus a few marks she makes. She points out a playing card that’s “in conversation” with some red marks. “Some pieces I leave as is, but some require just a little bit of my touch, so it questions the author, authorship,” she says. “There’s a fine line between my mark and just letting the object be. I just intuitively make marks and arrange things spatially, then I reflect on it later and make changes accordingly.” This piece can be seen on all sides, which she says, “challenges the idea of a painting hung on a wall that you just have to look at from one direction. You can see it all around from all sides. Maybe you also get a sense of impending failure, this sign that’s threatening to fall or this found remnant of a staircase that was being built, but it stops.” There’s also a sign covered in plastic. “The sole purpose of a sign is meant to be seen, but when covered up it questions its own existence,” she says. “All these objects were abandoned, but now they find recovery through possibility.” “Those are the kinds of things I’m interested in: Denied signification or lost signification or misunderstanding. As you walk around here you might have the feeling that something looks familiar, but you’re not quite able to penetrate the meaning. It’s full of possibilities, possibilities from impending failure. All these objects were abandoned, but now they find recovery through possibility.” Her work has been strongly influenced by her exposure to other artists that are challenging the boundaries of form and genre, first at Easy Lemon, the artist residency program she and Tim Hinck put on where they invited artists to do nightly performances for five to ten days of work that the artists themselves found most challenging. Then there is the New Dischord festival of interdisciplinary art, another Hinck collaboration, in which she started playing with sound and inviting viewers to interact with her work. “I think more and more, my work is existing in this expanded field, an interdisciplinary field where I’m starting to reach out beyond painting,” she says. She sees her work as rooted in the intrinsically human struggle to understand self. “That’s why I walk the streets and find empathy with these objects,” she says. “In some way I think they’re extensions of myself. When I find a found object, I find a relation between us. I find the similarities and also resonate with the differences. I see found objects as their own little intimacies. They have their own stories to tell.” Fine Art & Fine Wine Make A Perfect Pair Specializing in Creative Custom Framing & Original Art (since 1988) Original Art | Custom Framing 4250 Hixson Pike | 423.877.1391 m-f: 10am - 6pm sat: by appt Ashley Hamilton’s queered painting can be seen in UTC Art’s First Senior show at the Cress Gallery, opening Tuesday, Apr. 1. Presentations at 4:30 p.m., opening at 5:30 p.m. chattanoogapulse.com • March 20-26, 2014 • The Pulse • 21 for more info call 706.820.2531 ARTS CALENDAR See RockCity.com A Magical New Evening Event Make plans to visit Spring Break! "Fat Pig" Building, 1250 Parker St. NE, Cleveland. leeuniversity.edu 805 W. 7th St. chattanoogagirlschoir.org Opening Night Gala: “And Then There Were None” 7 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8538 theatrecentre.com Lookout Wild Film Festival 7:30 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Centennial Theatre, 1400 Market St. (800) 872-2529 lookoutfilmfestival.org Adam Hunter 7:30, 9:45 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com “Fat Pig” 7:30 p.m. Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 5900 Brainerd Rd. (423) 602-8640 ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com thursday3.20 Nonprofit Leadership Series 3: Engaging Volunteers and the Community 9 a.m. United Way, 630 Market St. (423) 265-8000 uwchatt.org Lookout Wild Film Festival’s “The Local Hero Project” 5:30 p.m. Mellow Mushroom Downtown, 205 Broad St. (423) 266-5564 American Sign Language 101 5:30 p.m. Chattanooga Neighborhood Enterprise, 1301 Market St. (423) 756-6201 cneinc.org Yappy Meower 5:30 p.m. Nooga Paws, 313 Manufacturers Rd., Ste. 111. (423) 883-2298 mckameyanimalcenter.org Art + Issues: Diversity Is! Now Deal With It? 6 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org Adam Hunter 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com “Fat Pig” 7:30 p.m. Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 5900 Brainerd Rd. (423) 602-8640 ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com Lee University Performing Arts Series: Omni Trio 7:30 p.m. Lee University Humanities saturday3.22 Dash for DS 5K and Fun Run 9 a.m. Tennessee River Park, 4301 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 842-0177 Chattanooga Nature Center Fairy House Workshop 10 a.m. Chattanooga Arboretum and Nature Center, 400 Garden Rd. (423) 821-1160 chattanoogaanc.org “The K Play” 10:30 a.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8538 theatrecentre.com Little Owl Music and Arts Festival 11 a.m. Audubon Acres, 900 N. Sanctuary Rd. (423) 892-3690 chattanoogaaudubon.org Awesome Opossum 11 a.m. Chattanooga Arboretum and Nature Center, 400 Garden Rd. (423) 821-1160 chattanoogaanc.org Artist Demonstration: Mike Berry, Joe Parrot 11 a.m. River Gallery, 400 E. Second St. (423)265-5033 river-gallery.com Wildlife Wanderland 2:30 p.m. Chattanooga Arboretum and Nature Center, 400 Garden Rd. (423) 821-1160 chattanoogaanc.org Sherlockians Unite! 2:30 p.m. Chattanooga Public Library, 1001 Broad St. friday3.21 Sew What 3 p.m. Chattanooga Public Library, 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5310 chattlibrary.org “Divergent” Release Party 6 p.m. Chattanooga Public Library, 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5310 chattlibrary.org Senior Recital: Michael Robb and Maddie Taylor 6 p.m. Lee University Humanities Building, 1250 Parker St. NE, Cleveland. leeuniversity.edu Taste and Sound of Italy 7 p.m. St. Paul’s Episcopal Church, Key-Andrews Hall, Pulse pick: the blind banker A free screening of the BBC favorite Sherlock episode "The Blind Banker" from Season 1. Come dressed as your favorite character! Sherlockians Unite! Saturday, 2:30 p.m. Chattanooga Public Library, 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5310, chattlibrary.org March 28 to April 20 SeeRockCity.com/Fairytale 22 • The Pulse • march 20-26, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com ARTS CALENDAR Michelle Segre “Sculptures and Drawings” (423) 757-5310 chattlibrary.org Open House: Welcome to the 2nd Floor 3 p.m. Chattanooga Public Library, 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5310 chattlibrary.org Lookout Wild Film Festival 6:30 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Centennial Theatre, 1400 Market St. (800) 872-2529 lookoutfilmfestival.org “Fat Pig” 7:30 p.m. Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 5900 Brainerd Rd. (423) 602-8640 ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com Adam Hunter 7:30 , 9:45 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com “And Then There Were None” 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8538 theatrecentre.com MES Presents “Grand Piano” 8:30 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave., (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org Mike Smith 10:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839 funnydinner.com Centennial Theatre, 1400 Market St. (800) 872-2529 lookoutfilmfestival.org Friends under the Stars Festival 2 p.m. Camp Jordan, 323 Camp Jordan Pkwy. (423) 490-0078 “Fat Pig” 2:30 p.m. Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 5900 Brainerd Rd. (423) 602-8640 ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com CSO Presents “Suite Serenade” 3 p.m. Sheraton Read House Silver Ballroom, 827 Broad St. chattanoogsymphony.org Adam Hunter 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com tuesday3.25 2014 Spirit of Achievement Awards Luncheon 11:30 a.m. Chattanooga Convention Center, 1100 Carter St. (423) 756-0001 jachatt.org LAUNCH’s Learn How To Start Your Own Business course 6 p.m. Glass House Collective, 2523 Glass St. (423) 402-0565 glasshousecollective.org wednesday3.26 The Urban League of Greater Chattanooga Entrepreneur Power Luncheon 11:30 a.m. Chattanooga Convention Center, 1100 Carter St. (423)756-0001 ulchatt.net Lunch Break @ 4th Floor - “A Woman’s Work is Never Done” 12:10 p.m. Chattanooga Public Library, 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5310 chattlibrary.org Doug Stanhope 7:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839 funnydinner.com monday3.24 LAUNCH’s Learn How To Start Your Own Business course 6 p.m. Northside Neighborhood House, 211 Minor St. (423) 267-2217 nnhouse.org Tennessee Valley Canoe Matt Hamblin’s Whimsical Sierra Club - Public Program 7 p.m. Outdoor Chattanooga, 200 River St. (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com Lee University Symphony Orchestra Concert 7:30 p.m. Lee University Conn Center & Dixon Center Auditorium, 1053 Church St. SE, Cleveland. (423) 614-8340 ongoing “African American Art: Harlem Renaissance Civil Rights Era and Beyond” Hunter Museum, 10 Bluff View. (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org “Laurel Nakadate: Strangers and Relations” University of the South, 735 University Ave., Sewanee. (931) 598-1000 sewanee.edu Fairytale Nights Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd, Lookout Mountain, GA (706) 820-2531 seerockcity.com Michelle Segre “Sculptures and Drawings” 2014 Diane Marek Visiting Artist UTC Cress Gallery of Art, 736 Vine St., (423) 425-4600 cressgallery.org Satan’s Breath In-Town Gallery, 26A Frazier Ave. 423) 267-9214 intowngallery.com “Bright Ideas: African American Inventors” Bessie Smith Cultural Center, 200 E. Martin Luther King Blvd., (423) 266-8658 bessiesmithcc.org Photo Society of Chattanooga Gallery at Blackwell, 71 Eastgate Loop, (423) 894-7112 chattanoogaphoto.org Rock City Raptors Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd, Lookout Mountain, GA (706) 820-2531 seerockcity.com Chattanooga Ghost Tours The Little Curiosity Shoppe, 138 Market St., (423) 821-7125 chattanoogaghosttours.com Named “One of the Ten Most Incredible Cave Waterfalls on Earth” World Reviewer 423.821.2544 RubyFalls.com Open Fridays & Weekends NOW! sunday3.23 Lookout Wild Film Festival 2 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ chattanoogapulse.com. 423.821.2544 RubyFallsZip.com Aerial Adventure. chattanoogapulse.com • March 20-26, 2014 • The Pulse • 23 FILM SCENE Playing For Time in “Grand Piano” "The Grand Budapest Hotel" Fabulous cast invites even Anderson non-fans There’s no question the movies of Wes Anderson are not for everyone. I remember sitting in the (then) Rave in East Ridge watching “Moonrise Kingdom” on a stormy afternoon with about 15 other people. About half an hour into it, one couple expressed audible disgust and walked out. Then a thunderstorm knocked out the power for at least 20 minutes. The other 13 people and I waited patiently, unwilling to give up the story. When the film finally resumed, I was delighted I’d stayed. It’s likely reaction to Anderson’s newest film, “The Grand Budapest Hotel” will be equally polarizing. I was unable to find out when this movie will open in Chattanooga (independent film house, you cannot arrive fast enough), but it’ll get here eventually, and when it does, some will love it for Anderson’s trademark stylization—and some will loathe it. But an unbelievable cast that includes Ralph Fiennes, F. Murray Abraham, Adrien Brody, Bill Murray, Tom Wilkinson and an unrecognizable Tilda Swinton is reason enough to give this adventure into a lost world of fading opulence and romance a wink and a whirl. — Janis Hashe T HRILLERS TEND TO HAVE SOME RIDICULOUS ideas. These are stories about the darkest parts of human nature, where evil needs to be pure and simple, without rational or complicated characterization. The thriller is made by the villain—the protagonist has to be hopelessly outmatched, reacting to a well-planned, psychopathic evil with no emotion, no sympathy, and no remorse. Motivations don’t matter in any real sense. The audience doesn’t care that much if the villain wants to steal money, get revenge on a past injustice, or demand the release of a prisoner. What they want is to witness the drama that happens as the victims slowly and deliberately unravel the Machiavellian traps laid by an unseen, shadowy adversary. In what might be my favorite Mise En Scenesters offering so far, “Grand Piano” is an example of the best kind of thriller. It’s relatively senseless, easily picked apart, but at the same time just simply works. It’s a genre film that loves the genre; one that isn’t interested in explaining or providing needless exposition. It exists in its world without question or pause. Tom Selznick (Elijah Wood) is a world-famous concert pianist who is returning to the stage after a long absence, having developed an acute case of stage fright. Years prior, Tom had some sort of real or imagined disaster while performing a piece, causing him to hide from the spotlight and shy away from any performances. But now a concert in honor of his former teacher, a master of piano composition, draws Tom back in order to play once more. And as he begins his performance, in front of a packed Screen JOHN DEVORE “ ✴✴✴✴✴ NEW IN THEATERS ✴✴✴✴✴ It’s a genre film that loves the genre; one that isn’t interested in explaining or providing needless exposition.” "Muppets Most Wanted" While on a grand world tour, The Muppets find themselves wrapped into an European jewel-heist caper headed by a Kermit the Frog look-alike and his dastardly sidekick. (PG) Director: James Bobin Stars: Tina Fey, Ricky Gervais, Ty Burrell, Tom Hiddleston "Divergent" In a world divided by factions based on virtues, Tris learns she's Divergent and won't fit in. When she discovers a plot to destroy Divergents, Tris and the mysterious Four must find out what makes Divergents dangerous before it's too late. (PG-13) Stars: Shailene Woodley, Theo James, Kate Winslet, Jai Courtney 24 • The Pulse • march 20-26, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com SPECIALS We will meet or beat any advertised price and special order any wine available in the Chattanooga market! SPRING WINE Elijah Wood in "Grand Piano" Chicago concert hall, he notices a note written in red pen on his score: “miss one note, and you die.” What follows are tense, expertly crafted scenes of terror, as Tom learns the goals and identity of his antagonist while playing difficult parts during the movements of the accompanying symphony orchestra. He must play the “Impossible Piece” flawlessly if he hopes to save his own life and the life of his wife, who watches oblivious in the audience. The idea is completely absurd, especially given the ultimate goal of the aggressor, a sniper known only as Clem (John Cusack.) There are much easier ways for Clem to get what he wants. But that wouldn’t be any fun. The performances by both Cusack and Wood are what make the film work so well. They are the reason we buy into the plot. Their commitment to the story, despite the silliness, allows us to suspend our disbelief just enough to make the film worth our time. Of course, it’s beautifully shot, showing us the loneliness that exists on stage by using open spaces and wide angles. Tom is alone in a room full of musicians and spectators. He has no line to the outside world— any strange behavior is easily attributed to his stage fright. The audience is watching as much to see him fall apart on stage as they are Having grown up in a house with a classically trained pianist, seeing a master piano player never once touch the sustain pedal despite hearing powerful ringing chords had a tendency to take me out of the film. to hear his comeback concert. Their excitement is rooted in the potential for disaster. Ours comes from knowing just how disastrous it might be. Nothing adds tension like classical music, and the musical score makes the film all the more entertaining. My biggest complaint with the film is also the most nitpicky. Having grown up in a house with a classically trained pianist, seeing a master piano player never once touch the sustain pedal despite hearing powerful ringing chords had a tendency to take me out of the film. Wood’s fingers move deftly over the keyboard and had he used the pedals once or twice, I might have been foolish enough to think that he wasn’t acting. Alas, the devil is in the details. “Grand Piano” will be screened at 8:30 p.m. at Barking Legs Theater on March 22. MES continues to be one of Chattanooga’s best resources for film, bringing great movies that would never be seen at the Majestic or the East Ridge 18. Soon enough, we’ll have our own art house movie theater, and film enthusiasts will have more than one opportunity to see films that are off the beaten path. Until then, support MES. Grand Piano Saturday, March 22, 8:30 p.m. Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org mesfilmclub.com Where the Liquor is Cheap and the Entertainment is Free chattanoogapulse.com • March 20-26, 2014 • The Pulse • 25 This could be yours... Free Will Astrology PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Before she died, Piscean actress Elizabeth Taylor enjoyed more than 79 years of life on this gorgeous, maddening planet. But one aptitude she never acquired in all that time was the ability to cook a hard-boiled egg. Is there a pocket of ignorance in your own repertoire that rivals this lapse, Pisces? Are there any fundamental life skills that you probably should have learned by now? If so, now would be a good time to get to work on mastering them. rob brezsny fantastic and hard-to-achieve prospects sometime soon, they will be far less impossible than they used to be. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The Tibetan mastiff is a large canine species with long golden hair. If you had never seen a lion and were told that this dog was a lion, you might be fooled. And that’s exactly what a zoo in Luohe, China did. It tried to pass off a hearty specimen of a Tibetan mastiff as an African lion. Alas, a few clever zoo-goers saw through the charade when the beast started barking. Now I’ll ask you, Virgo: Is there anything comparable going on in your environment? Are you being asked to believe that a big dog is actually a lion, or the metaphorical equivalent? LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In T. S. Eliot’s poem “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock,” the narrator seems tormented about the power of his longing. “Do I dare to eat a peach?” he asks. I wonder what he’s thinking. Is the peach too sweet, too juicy, too pleasurable for him to handle? Is he in danger of losing his self-control and dignity if he succumbs to the temptation? What’s behind his hesitation? In any case, Libra, don’t be like Prufrock in the coming weeks. Get your finicky doubts out of the way as you indulge your lust for life with extra vigor and vivacity. Hear what I’m saying? Refrain from agonizing about whether or not you should eat the peach. Just go ahead and eat it. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Born under the sign of Scorpio, Neil Young has been making music professionally for over 45 years. He has recorded 35 albums and is in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. In early 1969, three of his most famous songs popped out of his fertile imagination on the same day. He was sick with the flu and running a 103-degree fever when he wrote “Cowgirl in the Sand,” “Cinnamon Girl,” and “Down by the River.” I suspect you may soon experience a milder version of this mythic event, Scorpio. At a time when you’re not feeling your best, you could create a thing of beauty that will last a long time, or initiate a breakthrough that will send ripples far into the future. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): There should be nothing generic or normal or routine about this week, Sagittarius. If you drink beer, for example, you shouldn’t stick to your usual brew. You should track down and drink the hell out of exotic beers with brand names like Tactical Nuclear Penguin and Ninja Vs. Unicorn and Doctor Morton’s Clown Poison. And if you’re a lipstick user, you shouldn’t be content to use your old standard, but should instead opt for kinky types like Sapphire Glitter Bomb, Alien Moon Goddess, and Cackling Black Witch. As for love, it wouldn’t make sense to seek out romantic adventures you’ve had a thousand times before. You need and deserve something like wild sacred eternal ecstasy or screaming sweaty flagrant bliss or blasphemously reverent waggling rapture. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Actor Gary Oldman was born and raised in London. In the course of his long career he has portrayed a wide range of characters who speak English with American, German, and Russian accents. He has also lived in Los Angeles for years. When he signed on to play a British intelligent agent in the 2011 film Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, he realized that over the years he had lost some of his native British accent. He had to take voice lessons to restore his original pronunciations. I suspect you have a metaphorically comparable project ahead of you, Capricorn. It may be time to get back to where you once belonged. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Every now and then, you’re blessed with a small miracle that inspires you to see everyday things with new vision. Common objects and prosaic experiences get stripped of their habitual expectations, allowing them to become almost as enchanting to you as they were before numb familiarity set in. The beloved people you take for granted suddenly remind you of why you came to love them in the first place. Boring acquaintances may reveal sides of themselves that are quite entertaining. So are you ready and eager for just such an outbreak of curiosity and a surge of fun surprises? If you are, they will come. If you’re not, they won’t. Homework: What was the pain that healed you most? Testify at www.FreeWillAstrology.com Buy. Sell. Trade. ChattanoogaHasCars.com is looking for a few good Can you craft a compelling 650-word short feature or pro le—and a longer, in-depth feature worthy of our cover? If so, let’s talk. The Pulse is seeking a few good freelance writers to join our stable of news, feature, music, political, fashion and arts writers. We reward our writers with fair pay and a showcase for their skills. If you’ve got the “write stu ,” we want your voice in The Pulse. Email samples of your best clips along with a brief bio to: email@example.com writers ARIES (March 21-April 19): “When you plant seeds in the garden, you don’t dig them up every day to see if they have sprouted yet,” says Buddhist nun Thubten Chodron. “You simply water them and clear away the weeds; you know that the seeds will grow in time.” That’s sound advice for you, Aries. You are almost ready to plant the metaphorical seeds that you will be cultivating in the coming months. Having faith should be a key element in your plans for them. You’ve got to find a way to shut down any tendencies you might have to be an impatient control freak. Your job is simply to give your seeds a good start and provide them with the persistent follow-up care they will need. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “Thank you, disillusionment,” says Alanis Morissette in her song “Thank U.” “Thank you, frailty,” she continues. “Thank you, nothingness. Thank you, silence.” I’d love to hear you express that kind of gratitude in the coming days, Taurus. Please understand that I don’t think you will be experiencing a lot of disillusionment, frailty, nothingness, and silence. Not at all. What I do suspect is that you will be able to see, more clearly than ever before, how you have been helped and blessed by those states in the past. You will understand how creatively they motivated you to build strength, resourcefulness, willpower, and inner beauty. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): I bet your support system will soon be abuzz with fizzy mojo and good mischief. Your web of contacts is about to get deeper and feistier and prettier. Pounce, Gemini, pounce! Summon extra clarity and zest as you communicate your vision of what you want. Drum up alluring tricks to attract new allies and inspire your existing allies to assist you better. If all goes as I expect it to, business and pleasure will synergize better than they have in a long time. You will boost your ambitions by socializing, and you will sweeten your social life by plying your ambitions. CANCER (June 21-July 22): During her 98 years on the planet, Barbara Cartland wrote 723 romance novels that together sold a billion copies. What was the secret of her success? Born under the sign of Cancer the Crab, she knew how productive she could be if she was comfortable. Many of her work sessions took place while she reclined on her favorite couch covered with a white fur rug, her feet warmed with a hot water bottle. As her two dogs kept her company, she dictated her stories to her secretary. I hope her formula for success inspires you to expand and refine your own personal formula—and then apply it with zeal during the next eight weeks. What is the exact nature of the comforts that will best nourish your creativity? LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The Google Ngram Viewer is a tool that scans millions of books to map how frequently a particular word is used over the course of time. For instance, it reveals that “impossible” appears only half as often in books published in the 21st century as it did in books from the year 1900. What does this mean? That fantastic and hard-to-achieve prospects are less impossible than they used to be? I don’t know, but I can say this with confidence: If you begin 26 • The Pulse • march 20-26, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com We Are Saving Mobile Lives 1906 Gunbarrel Rd. 423-486-1668 (Next to GiGi’s Cupcakes) cellphonerepair.com/chattanooga Mon-Fri: 10am-7pm Sat: 11a-4pm Closed Sunday Coming soon to Hixson! Charles Searles, Celebration, 1975, acrylic, Smithsonian American Art Museum, Transfer from the General Services Administration, Art-in-Architecture Program Organized by the Smithsonian American Art Museum, the African American Art: Harlem Renaissance, Civil Rights Era, and Beyond exhibition features works by 43 black artists who explore the African American experience throughout the 20th century and celebrate the nature of American society. African American Art: Harlem Renaissance, Civil Rights Era, and Beyond is organized by the Smithsonian American Art Museum with generous support from: Alston & Bird; Amherst Holdings, LLC; Diane and Norman Bernstein Foundation; Larry Irving and Leslie Wiley; William R. Kenan, Jr. Endowment Fund; Clarence Otis and Jacqui Bradley; PEPCO; The C.F. Foundation in Atlanta supports the museum’s traveling exhibition program, Treasures to Go. Additional funding for this exhibit has been provided by Kitty and Hacker Caldwell. ADULTS: $9.95 | CHILDREN 3-17: $4.95 | FREE FOR MEMBERS OPEN EVERY DAY UNTIL 5 P.M. Wednesdays & Sundays 12 p.m. to 5 p.m. | Thursdays until 8 p.m. Connect with the Hunter Museum! Twitter | Facebook | Instagram | Flickr | Pinterest | YouTube 10 Bluff View | Chattanooga, TN 37403 | (423) 267-0968 | www.huntermuseum.org The only place in Town where you can sing karaoke anyTime. daily lunCh & drink speCials! CheCk out the Cat in the hat Book your Birthday, anniversary or oFFiCe parties now! singitorwingit-chattanooga.com 410 market • (423) 757-wing chattanoogapulse.com • March 20-26, 2014 • The Pulse • 27 FAMOUS GOOD FOOD The Subaru Forester. 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Destination and delivery includes handling andfees. inland freight fees and may vary in some states.and Prices, speciﬁ cations, options, features and models subjectspeciﬁ to change without notice. ** EPA-estimated fuel economy. Actual mileage may vary. ***Cannot be combined with any other incentive. Financing forlimited. well-qualiﬁ ed applicants only. Length of contract is limited. Subject to credit approval,No vehicle insurance notice. ** EPA-estimated fuel economy. Actual mileage may vary. ***Cannot be combined with any other incentive. Financing for well-qualiﬁ ed applicants only. Length of contract is Subject to credit approval, vehicle insurance approval and vehicle availability. down payment approval required.and vehicle availability. No down See participating dealers for details. Must take delivery from stock fees by December 2, 2013 and registration fees extra. Other leases on other models. Cannot be combined with other incentives. 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Prices, speciﬁcations, options, features and models subject to change without notice. ** EPA-estimated fuel economy. Actual mileage may vary. ***Cannot be combined with any other incentive. Financing for well-qualiﬁed applicants only. Length of contract is limited. Subject to credit approval, vehicle insurance approval and vehicle availability. No down payment required. See participating dealers for details. Must take delivery from dealer stock by December 2, 2013 ****Tax, title and registration fees extra. Other leases available on other models. Cannot be combined with any other incentives. Special lease rates extended to well-qualiﬁed buyers and are subject to credit approval, vehicle insurance approval and vehicle availability. Lessee pays personal property and ad valorem taxes (where applicable), insurance, maintenance repairs not covered by warranty, excessive wear and tear and a mileage charge of 15 cents per mile for mileage over 12,000 miles per year. Dealer participation may affect ﬁnal cost. Offer not available in Hawaii. Cannot be combined with any other incentives or offers. Payments may be higher in some states. Must take delivery from dealer stock by December 2, 2013. Call 1-800-WANT-AWD or see participating dealers for details. LAUNCH PARTY!!! UNTIL 7PM MON - FRIDAY HAPPY HOUR ALL DAY SAT & SUN Tuesday, March 25 5:30 – 7:30 pm featuring The 9th Street Stompers No charge to attend CHURCH ON MAIN 1601 Rossville Ave, 37408 FOR MORE INFORMATION Contact us at (423) 756-2787 or at ArtsBuild@ArtsBuild.com Chattanooga’s Artspace✴ Survey Launch Party is an opportunity to learn about building affordable live/work artist housing and studio space in Chattanooga. Please join us for refreshments, drink, music, information, and camaraderie. COME CELEBRATE as we take a big step forward in supporting our arts organizations and creative community. 3658 Ringgold Road East Ridge, TN • 423.867.1351 28 • The Pulse • march 20-26, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com PLEASE JOIN US! Jonesin’ Crossword --and nothing can stop you! matt jones “It’s Really Nothing” BUY ONE GET ONE FREE Buy a complete pair (minimum purchase may apply) and receive a second complete pair up to a maximum value (maximum may vary) - same prescription. First pair must be of equal or greater value to free pair. Valid prescription required. Excludes certain brands including Maul Jim and Oakley. Cannot be combined or used in conjunction with any vision care or insurance benefits or plans, any store or other offer, discount or sale, previous purchases, readers or non-prescription sunglasses. Valid at participating locations only. Void where prohibited. Some restrictions may apply. See store for details. Offer ends 3/31/2014. 423-499-3737 Next to Marshall’s Hamilton Place Or visit us online at pearlevision.com 4818 Hixson Pike•870-2156 Mon.-Thurs.•8:30am-10pm Fri. & Sat.•8:30am-11pm Serving Chattanooga for 36 Years Across 1 Casino features 5 Pacific Coast salmon 9 King novel about a rabid dog 13 Feeling regret 15 Group whose O doesn’t stand for “oil” 16 Quite a distance away 17 Commend highly 18 Inbox item 19 Expensive Japanese beef 20 Amount of time before you stop reading inflammatory Web comments? 23 Laughingstock 24 Glitch 25 Cincinnati-toDetroit dir. 26 $ fractions, for short 29 Did hayfield work 31 Wonder-ful count? 33 Force that I’m certain will pull you back to Earth? 37 “Let the Rabbit Eat ___” (mail-in 1976 cereal contest) 38 Hosp. area for critical cases 39 Reese’s “Legally Blonde” role 40 Food label units that don’t mind waiting around? 45 Get retribution for 46 Sour, as a stomach 47 Icelandic band Sigur ___ 48 7, for 14 and 35: abbr. 50 Microbrewery product 51 Dr. with six Grammys 54 Burp after drinking too many colas? 57 Beloved honey lover 60 Change of address, to a realtor 61 Barracks barker, briefly 62 Neighbor of Hank Hill 63 Risk territory 64 Wrath 65 Several 66 Good, to Giuseppe 67 Word appearing before or after each word in the long theme entries Down 1 Moda Center, e.g. 2 Garb for groomsmen 3 Catchers wear them 4 ___-nosed kid 5 1978 debut solo album by Rick James 6 Abbr. on a phone dial 7 Castle Grayskull hero 8 “Nothing Compares 2 U” singer 9 Blue Velvet, for one 10 Roswell crasher 11 MMA move 12 Mined set? 14 Comprehensive 21 “To Sir With Love” singer 22 John of the WWE 26 Cook-off food 27 “Her,” “She” or “It” 28 Eye nuisances 29 Confine 30 Record label named for an Asian capital 32 Each’s partner 33 Face-valued, as stocks 34 “Top Chef” network 35 Focus of traffic reports? 36 Holy food? 41 Round toaster brand 42 Tension reliever 43 “I Shot Andy Warhol” star Taylor 44 “Battleship Potemkin” locale 49 Big name in farm equipment 51 Funeral lament 52 Rival of Rafael and Novak 53 January in Juarez 54 Use your jaw 55 Dash and splash 56 Horatio who played Aaron Neville on “SNL” 57 Kissing in public, e.g. 58 Lummox 59 “Nicely done!” CAYMUS CONUNDRUM RED OR WHITE SANTA MARGARITA PINOT GRIGIO KIM CRAWFORD SAUVIGNON BLANC, CHARDONNAY, PINOT GRIS & PINOT NOIR PRINCIPATO PINOT GRIGIO, PINOT NOIR, CAB.-MERLOT, PINOT GRIGIOCHARD. 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For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0667 Guess who is on Facebook ... Like Us! PRICES GOOD THRU 3/29/14 chattanoogapulse.com • March 20-26, 2014 • The Pulse • 29 Working The Job I Deserve Officer Alex recalls a time when risk management involved a lot of risk—as well as bodily functions. As soon as the elevator door slid form the start. I was cool, though. I open the smell of shit hit me like I was being paid by “taxpayers”, after was being mauled by a bear. Sure, it all. could have been worse; in contrast, Dominique Hirsh had been a pathe sudden scent of rotting flesh was tient in the local healthcare system reminiscent of being stabbed up the and therefore a “victim” by all associnostrils with a steel grilling fork…but ated rights and privileges. Admitted feces? to the local menHuman poo, tal health care in particular, alsystem, he had ways felt like a been drugged to firm rancid pilthe point of relow being tied habilitation , and around your therefore release head in a gordwith a bottle of ian knot that 30 Dilantin in held you there his pocket, one as if by an older for each day of sibling, grinning January until and drooling as the day before he watched you February. That’s struggle helpwhy I was by no lessly against means surprised a wall of moist that on January ALEX TEACH and putrid filth 3, Dominique with little hope had been on his of escape until puberty gave you the own for two days with less than 10 strength to break free…and puberty Dilantin pills remaining on his perwas always years away. The smell of son. And that, my Constant Readers, the hallway was that of a hospital, so is where I came in. it also had the scent of cleaners and Dominique Hirsh had tuberculoattempts of sterility only matched in sis, hepatitis C, and was HIV posithe smell of the homes of the termitive. He became irate when he “came nally ill. It was a nasty predicament to” in the hospital from his preceding bender and found himself anywhere but the living room he had passed out in, and the ensuing jostling of his known reality pushed him over the edge. He clearly felt he needed space because he flung his legs over the edge of his bed and began throwing every fixed and free object in his grasp out the doorway, and this didn’t stop until hospital security blocked his door with their shoulders. They decided to wait him out until he ran out of things to throw before they entered and subdued him. Dominique must have picked up on this at some point, but was not deterred in the least. You see, magazines and empty cups were not all that were left. Dominique was working in concert with an ally none would expect—and that ally was, unfortunately, his lower gastrointestinal system and its filthy, filthy products. Dominique would never run out of extra things to throw so long as his lower intestines functioned, and by all accounts, they were just peachy. Dominique Hirsh began throwing his feces around like a freshly caged chimpanzee around 5:30 p.m., and by 5:31 p.m. staffers began calling the hospital’s risk manager. The risk manager was apparently more important than local EMTs and paramedics because he/she was the first call anytime, every time…and for good reason. Without the risk manager’s consent, the staff wouldn’t have been the only persons eligible to sue the corporation when they decided to allow the local police, fire and EMS, and them only, to deal with their unruly guest, knowing his/her laundry list of maladies. At first, only their own staff was rel- “ Dominique would never run out of extra things to throw so long as his lower intestines functioned.” egated to dealing with such a patient, but thanks to the risk manager, at least nine other outside people would be eligible to sue them, whereas their own staff would not have been given the chance due to the structure of the risk manager’s policies and practices. As I arrived, Dominique bolted from his room to that of an 80-yearold female heart patient, and when he ran from her room in turn, the sound of medical alarms were enough to draw Quasimodo from his bellringing grave. Chairs were in the emergency room hallway, as were magazines, end tables, love seats, and chairs. Patient X (Dominique) had been in such a frenzy, everything in his room had been cast out, and in the confusion only I was left. The staff had been correct. When he ran out of projectiles, the poo had indeed been flung, and civilized folks were left to deal with it. Dominique sensed his reign in Room 8 coming to an end as I arrived and ducked across the hall to Room 7 to wait me out, when he was caught. You see… On The Beat furtive movements from the wanted are not welcome and in fact specifically prohibited, but when he flouted these rules, he paid a steep price. The staff’s plan of attacking him once he was out of ammo was sound, but that had never been my option. So as he ran, he was struck with the barbs of a taser and during the resulting fall he struck his head on a table before lying prostrate before his captors. Now, thanks to risk management, the TB/HepC/HIV patient was breathing, bleeding and screaming at-and-on local fire and police personnel, whereas only staffers would have been exposed before. Dominique Hirsh was contained until his next release—but what about the responders? I handled the paperwork and charges and left, confident. I was on the taxpayers’ bankroll after all, and anyone would have done the same. Wouldn’t they? But here I was, wondering if I had earned the taxpayers' right to say I had contacted folks with TB, hepatitis C, and HIV. It was enough for another assignment, wasn’t it? So much to think about, so little time, but the door flung open and I was hit again by the fresh air of the outside. It was bound to be good, because it didn’t smell like shit. And that was where the bar was held. I just wanted everyone to be happy. When officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center. Follow him on Facebook at facebook.com/alexteach MORE MONEY FOR YOUR GOLD! CHATTANOOGA’S #1 GOLD BUYER wants to give you MONEY for your jewelry! Get paid TOP-DOLLAR just like Rick’s thousands of satisfied customers! WWW.RICKDAVISGOLDANDDIAMONDS.COM RICK DAVIS GOLD & DIAMONDS 5301 Brainerd Rd at McBrien Rd • 423.499.9162 30 • The Pulse • march 20-26, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com 3815 St. Elmo Avenue Chattanooga, TN 37409 (423) 822-6656 (MOJO) St. Elmo 1414 Jenkins Road Chattanooga, TN 37421 (423) 296-6656 (MOJO) East Brainerd 1800 Dayton Boulevard Chattanooga, TN 37405 (423) 870-6656 (MOJO) Red Bank mojoburrito.com /mojoburrito chattanoogapulse.com • March 20-26, 2014 • The Pulse • 31 THE PREMIER FINE ARTS EVENT MUSIC FOOD COCKTAILS ART FRIDAY APRIL 11 PREVIEW PARTY sponsored by Sneak peek the entire 4 Bridges 2014 collection of fine art from around the country in the open air of the First Tennessee Pavilion. Eat delicious food and enjoy a delightful cocktail, all while helping to make 4 Bridges happen. Join the party, be a Patron. Purchase Your 4 Bridges Preview Party Tickets Online at 4BRIDGESARTSFESTIVAL.ORG COLLECTOR PATRON $1000 You receive 1. $750 in Bridge Bucks good for any art purchases Festival weekend. 2. TWO tickets to the Preview Party. 3. A limited edition, collectable 4 Bridges. Festival pin created by Alex Nelson. 4. TWO VIP Patron badges for entire weekend. 5. ONE weekend VIP parking pass. 6. $50 donated to AVA in your honor. produced by supported by ADVOCATE PATRON $500 You receive 1. $300 in Bridge Bucks good for any art purchases Festival weekend. 2. TWO tickets to the Preview Party. 3. A limited edition, collectable 4 Bridges Festival pin created by Alex Nelson. 4. TWO VIP Patron badges. 5. ONE weekend VIP parking pass.