The Pulse 11.05 » January 30, 2014
Chattanooga's Weekly Alternative.
Jan 30-Feb 5 Vol. 11 • No. 5 Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative The death of Net Neutrality How the recent demise of network neutrality could potentially affect you and what local tech leaders have to say about it. 5 questions with mayor andy berke • musical moose is on the loose again • inside llewyn davis • entirely inappropriate with officer alex 2 • The Pulse • January30-february 5, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com 2014 brewEr media group Publisher & President Jim Brewer II Contents Happenings EDITORIAL Managing Editor Mike McJunkin THE BOWL: Chattanooga's next to Godliness... Sandboxing the up-and-comers Contributing Editor Janis Hashe Art Director Gary Poole Contributors Rich Bailey • Rob Brezsny • John DeVore Hayley Graham • Janis Hashe • Matt Jones Brian King • Mike McJunkin Ernie Paik • Gary Poole • Alex Teach THE LIST: Chattanooga Film Festival LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR Editorial Interns Madeline Chambliss • Dea Lisica • Leith Tigges ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT CALENDAR Cartoonists & Illustrators Tom Tomorrow Photographer/Webmaster Josh Lang Founded 2003 by Zachary Cooper & Michael Kull ADVERTISING Director of Sales Mike Baskin NOTHING BUT NET Why you need to care about the battle over bandwidth By Rich Bailey Account Executives Chee Chee Brown • Julie Brown Lisa Dicaire • Rick Leavell • Leif Sawyer Stacey Tyler • Jerry Ware • Candice York Features MUSIC: The (Musical) Moose is back on the loose SCREEN: “Inside Llewyn Davis” is vintage Coen Brothers CONTACT NEW MUSIC REVIEWS: Yes and No, Clangs and Warbles Offices 1305 Carter St., Chattanooga, TN 37402 Phone 423.265.9494 Website chattanoogapulse.com Email firstname.lastname@example.org Calendar email@example.com THE FINE PRINT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue. We’re watching. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors. Contents Copyright © 2014 by Brewer Media. All rights reserved. N 30 K ORY lse AC IST Pu BL ) H The IC k in US ee (M ext W JANUARY FREE WILL ASTROLOGY JONESIN' CROSSWORD Voices ARTISTIC LANDSCAPE Sculpture Fields aims to bring in international interest By Hayley Graham JANIS HASHE: Five questions with Mayor Andy Berke ALEX TEACH: How to deal with the un-PC brethren chattanoogapulse.com • January30-february 5, 2014 • The Pulse • 3 BOWL THE chattanooga’s weekly alternative NEWS • COMMENTARY • BULLETINS & PUSH NOTIFICATIONS AT DIAL-UP SPEED facebook/chattanoogapulsE • TWITTER @CHATTAPULSE EMAIL LOVE LETTERS, ADVICE & TRASH TALK TO INFO@CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM No. 1 in thumping Next to Godliness According to the American Bible Society and the Barna Group, our city is number one for Godliness. That’s right: Chattanooga has been ranked #1 in the official list of the most “Bible-Minded” cities in America. It’s a jump from last year’s ranking at number 3, taking Knoxville, last year’s top city, down to the number ten slot. Surprised? Apparently we Chattanoogans can be credited for doing the most regular Bible reading, with deep beliefs in religious history and accuracy. After a seven-year study of interviews of more than 46,000 individuals, we’re said to be the most “Bible-minded” city despite our fairly small population. The least devout city is claimed by Providence, Rhode Island, just one of the many East Coast cities that round out the far end of the list. The American Bible Society claims, “We want people to know that whether you live in the least or most Bible-minded cities, the Bible can speak to your needs, challenges and concerns and help you make sense of your life.” Guess they should start reminding those East Coasters before they start another seven-year study. Religious followers are certainly spread out all over the U.S., but it’s clear the Bible Belt has a pretty dense crowd of believers and church-goers. Despite Chattanooga sitting comfortably near the buckle of the Bible Belt, it is still a city in a not-so-safe state. Perhaps that’s why we find ourselves reaching for our Bibles so often. — Leith Tigges Sandbox Chattanooga The Up-and-Comers Calling all young go-getters: If you’re under 30, determined to make your mark on the world and interested in 4 • The Pulse • January30-february 5, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com connecting with a worldwide network of peers, now’s the time. Sandbox, described on their website as “a mobile society of the world’s most extraordinary young game changers,” has made Chattanooga its newest hub and is now accepting local applicants. Begun in Zurich, Switzerland in 2008, Sandbox now boasts 1,000 members across five continents. Members include academics, adventurers, artists, business leaders, designers, entrepreneurs, politicians, and more—if you’re making moves in your field, you’re a good fit for the Sandbox community. Aside from the opportunity to build meaningful and strategic relationships, Sandbox hosts regular local and regional events and an annual Global Summit (to be held in Latin America this year). Forbes magazine’s Jan. 20 issue featured six Sandboxers in its story “30 Under 30 Who Are Changing The World 2014,” and Sandboxer Anjan Sundaram recently appeared on Jon Stewart’s show to talk about his book, “Stringer: A Reporter’s Journey in the Congo.” Sandbox Chattanooga will be led by four of Chattown’s best: Tiffanie Robinson, founder and CEO of WayPaver, Isaiah Smallman, co-founder of Fancy Rhino, Meshal Lakhani, singer/songwriter currently working on an edtech startup, and Toni Gemayal, co-founder of Flint. These leaders will choose approximately 10 new Sandboxers to join the team from the pool of local applicants. In a recent press release, Robinson said: “We’re looking for the city’s most interesting under-30 leaders across industries, people with unique perspectives on life. If you’re an artist, an engineer, an entrepreneur, an athlete, a musician, an academic, or anything else, and you want to have significant impact on this world, you should consider applying.” Applications will be accepted until Feb. 20 and will not reopen until 2015. For more information and to apply, visit sandbox.is. Check out recent news at facebook.com/sandbox.network. — Dea Lisica LIST THE pulse » PICKS • A curated weekly selection of picks from the Chattanooga Live and Arts & Entertainment calendars by Pulse staffers. Film Fest: Time to Get Reel The Chattanooga Film Festival is a hot topic among both spectators and filmmakers. Scripts have been revised, shots redone, sets assembled and now, the wait is finally over. The official Chattanooga Film Fest website has been launched and is now accepting submissions of short and feature films from now until March 5. Regional and local film enthusiasts will compete for premiere showings at this year’s festival. To the delight of student filmmakers, the submission fee will be lowered if proof of valid student identification can be provided. “This festival is designed to showcase filmmakers at every level,” said Mara Tasker, director of programming. “Discovering the next generation of talent is a key pillar of the event.” Feature films, short films, student feature films and student short films will all be considered for proper presentation and exposure. Each budding artist will get the opportunity to showcase his or her talent for the festival audiences. “The festival team is extremely excited to get the submissions process opened up. We look forward to poring over every single film we receive,” said Chris Dortch, festival director. The highly anticipated festival will take place over four days, with films being highlighted Apr. 3-6 at the Carmike Majestic Theater in downtown Chattanooga. Submissions can be made at chattanoogafilmfest.com. All ticket, event and guideline information is also listed at the site. — Leith Tigges fri1.31 sat2.1 FOOD FOR ST. JUDE COVERING THE COUNTRY ENOUGH OF WINTER! TerraMae Appalachian Bistro Anniversary Front Porch Junkies Groundhog Day Pre-Party • With a name like Front Porch Junkies, you have to expect two things: they're going to play solid country music, and they're not going to wear hipster clothing. 8:30 p.m. • Jack A’s Chop Shop Saloon, 742 Ashland Ter. (423) 710-8739, jackaschopshopsaloon.com • Considering the type of weather we've had this past week, we're pretty confident most people are wanting Chattanooga Chuck to just deal with his shadow. 9:30 a.m. • Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (423) 402-9960, tnaqua.org ACOUSTIC ATTITUDE Chattanooga Unplugged • Singer/songwriters Jordan Hallquist, Amber Fults, and Ryan Oyer set aside the amplified instruments for a night and let their songs shine forth in pure acoustic bliss. 9 p.m. • Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644, rhythm-brews.com YOU THINK YOU'RE FUNNY? Amateur Night • Have your friends ever told you you're funny and ought to be on stage? Well, here's your chance to find out if you have what it takes to make a room full of people laugh. Just hope that no one goes full Joe Pesci on you. 9:30 p.m. • Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, funnydinner.com WITH CADILLAC THREE FRIDAY • FEBRUARY 7 DOORS @ 8PM • SHOW @ 9PM $25 ADVANCE • $28 DAY OF JUST ANNOUNCED AND ONSALE FRIDAY AT 10AM! CHERUB FRIDAY • MARCH 21 $15 ADVANCE • $17 DAY OF THU1.30 • One of the most inventive restauants in town celebrates their anniversary with a benefit for St. Jude. Come hungry, leave satisifed, and all for a very good cause. 6 p.m. • TerraMae Appalachian Bistro, 122 E. 10th St. (423) 710-2925, terramaechattanooga.com ELI YOUNG BAND JUICY J SATURDAY • MARCH 22 $28 ADVANCE • $30 DAY OF MUSIC & FILM Monomath • Mise En Scenesters combine film and music once again, with Monomath taking the stage after a screening of one of the oddest and most fascinating films of the '70s: Giulio Paradisi’s nutty and wonderful 1979 flick "The Visitor". 8:30 p.m. • Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347, barkinglegs.org mesfilmclub.com GHOST SATURDAY • MAY 10 $20 ADVANCE • $25 DAY OF PLUS DREW HOLCOMB ON SATURDAY • APRIL 12 MORE SHOWS @ TRACK29.CO 3 WAYS TO PURCHASE TICKETS TRACK29.CO • (423) 521-2929 BOX OFFICE OPEN 10AM - 6PM EVERY FRIDAY chattanoogapulse.com • January30-february 5, 2014 • The Pulse • 5 LUKEN HOLDINGS POPS SERIES BIG BAND FEVER! Concerts sponsored by SunTrust Bank February 14 and 15 • 7:30PM Tivoli Theatre Bob Bernhardt, conductor • Valerie Duke, vocalist Tickets start at $19 423.267.8583 • www.chattanoogasymphony.org Your needs and wants, met and exceeded. Satisfaction comes standard. 2014 Jetta S Sedan 24 city / 34 hwy mpg* 2.0L 115 hp, 125 lbs-ft torque in-line 4-cyclinder engine Anti-lock brakes Anti-slip regulation Electronic stability control could be yours for Village Volkswagen of Chattanooga 6001 International Drive 423-855-4981 www.villagevw.com 6 • The Pulse • January30-february 5, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com 15,671 $ stock #V140177 Photo used for illustration purposes only. All advertised prices exlcude state and local taxes, tags, registration and title fees, and the cost of optional equipment selected by the purchaser, if any. This offer cannot be combined with any Manufacturers rate incentives. Excludes $439.50 processing fee. See Dealer for details. Financing available, with approved credit, through Volkswagen of North America. * These estimates reflect new EPA methods beginning with 2008 models. Politics janis hashe Five Questions with Mayor Andy Berke Digging into the Violence Reduction Initiative The Chattanooga Violence Reduction Initiative has the following parameters, according to materials distributed by the mayor’s office: 1. A narrow focus on a particular problem, such as homicide, gun violence, drug markets, domestic violence, etc. 2. A narrow focus on the relatively small number of offenders driving problem 3. Direct communication to those offenders 4. Prior notice of a new and more meaningful legal response for continued offending 5. A clear community stand against the offending behavior 6. Outreach and support, including offers to help those offenders who want it 7. Sustained, careful follow-through The Violence Reduction Initiative, a key component of Mayor Andy Berke’s administration, has generated both praise and controversy since its introduction. The Pulse asked Mayor Berke five questions about the VRI and its implementation. The Pulse: The VRI program is very specific, targeting violent crime in Chattanooga as it currently exists, yet, for 1 1/7/2014today 8:02:52 AM example, aPulse.10.626x2.515.pdf letter to the editor sug- gests we must start earlier, before the teen years, with outreach and support. What’s your reaction to that? Mayor Andy Berke: The goal of the VRI is specifically to reduce violent crime. The outreach and support it includes involves people who are currently involved in the world of violence. If you are willing to leave that life, there are vocational training, alcohol and drug counseling and educational opportunities available. That doesn’t mean we are doing nothing to address the long-term goals. For example, the Youth & Family Development Department is offering reading and mentoring programs to young people. We know we must address alleviating poverty and helping people achieve. TP: From your point of view, who are the people who do not support the effort and why don’t they? MAB: There are people who are skeptical of law enforcement agencies, and there are people who want heavier law enforcement. In the job of mayor, I realize not everyone was going to say, “I believe in this 100 percent.” But, we have buy-in from significant portions of the community, social services, the faith-based community. Most importantly, law enforcement has aggressively moved to a more targeted approach. [Former Police Chief] Bobby Dodd bought into the concept, and [other key officers] are enthusiastic about the way it can work. Whoever becomes the new chief will clearly need to support the effort as well. TP: There has been a lot of discussion about the lack of trust in the police within some neighborhoods. Police departments are known to seesaw back and forth between adopting “community policing” and a more “military-style” approach. How does the VRI approach this? MAB: An individual community is not “bad.” There aren’t whole neighborhoods that are violent. Most violence is caused “ You don’t punish the community, you go after the offenders. You go out and find each and every person who is committed to violence.” by a small number of people in a few places. You don’t punish the community, you go after the offenders. You go out and find each and every person who is committed to violence. TP: But getting a community to trust the police after decades of mistrust isn’t easy, wouldn’t you agree? MAB: It’s true that each and every initiative taps into everyone’s lifetime of perceptions. You cannot change attitudes overnight. TP: You and your staff have met with a long list of community groups to generate support for the VRI. Many of these groups have similar missions and goals. How can they be convinced to pool resources and work together to help accomplish the VRI’s goals? MAB: We are focused on partners who are effective. We want to be involved with people who can get the job done, service providers of whom we can say, “Here are people who can help.” C M Y CM MY CY CMY K chattanoogapulse.com • January30-february 5, 2014 • The Pulse • 7 NET NEUTRALITY Why you need to care about the battle over bandwidth by Rich Bailey A couple of weeks ago, net neutrality was shot down in our nation's capitol. OK, it was a ruling in a telecommunications lawsuit in the DC Court of Appeals, not a murderous rampage. If you missed it among the Justin Bieber drag-racing coverage, playoff games or trash talk about Academy Awards nominations, you're unlikely to see anybody roll their eyes and sigh at you. But it's a really big deal that could have a major impact on how you use the Internet. “ With most individual users still paying roughly the same for access, Internet bandwidth, even though it is huge and always growing, is oversold, just like a finite number of seats in a plane is oversold by airlines. U ntil the DC Appeals Court ruling, the status quo was this: The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) supported net neutrality, essentially, the principle that Internet bandwidth providers were required to treat all legal content the same way. The FCC enforced this requirement by treating Internet providers like "common carriers," even though that's not their legal status. Phone companies have long been regulated as common carriers, meaning they are required to provide a reliable connection to customers regardless of what is going over the line. As far as a phone company is concerned, a call to your sweetie is the same as a CEO's quarterly call to investors. What the NSA thinks about your call is another story, but to AT&T, Verizon, etc., a call is a call. Internet providers—which generally sell both the connection and some of the content that goes through that digital pipe, like Comcast does with cable TV—want the ability to treat different content differently. So Verizon sued the FCC to end net neutrality. On January 14, the DC Court of Appeals (mostly) struck down net neutrality, but only because it said FCC rules were on shaky legal ground. The FCC could appeal to the Supreme Court or make new rules. But for now the court's ruling says the FCC 8 • The Pulse • January30-february 5, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com can't treat Internet providers like common carriers. I sat down with three of Chattanooga's uber-geeks for a reality check: • Mike Harrison, technical founder of Chattanooga Online, the city's first local Internet service provider in the ’90s and now system architect of global electric metering company, Utiliflex; • Dan Ryan, who led the back-end development team that made President Obama's reelection website a fundraising colossus; and • Aaron Welch, technical founder of QuickCue, Chattanooga's first tech start up bought out by a bigger company, and Iron Gaming, a mobile, online and live computer gaming platform. As expected, I didn't understand every single thing that was said in a conversation that ranged from the early Wild West days of the Internet to the pros and cons of "darknets" and "B.A.T.M.A.N.”, which stands for Better Approach To Mobile Adhoc Networking and (I think) has nothing to do with Bruce Wayne's alter ego. Even though the geekspeak occasionally grew too thick to cut with the sharpest batarang, these guys not only know their stuff, they know how to explain it to a non-technical audience. Well, How Did We Get Here? All three agree that the roots of the issue go back to the beginnings of the public Internet in the mid-'90s. Harrison, who started and ran an Internet service provider way back then, says ISPs at first had no idea how to price their services and actually liked power users who sucked up a lot of bandwidth because they were the early adopters who convinced other people to get online who would pay the same price but not use as much bandwidth. "The game was always to average it out, but now that every idiot watches Netflix and Youtube and sucks up more bandwidth than [providers] can charge them for, they're going to have to change that model," he says. With most individual users still paying roughly the same for access, Internet bandwidth, even though it is huge and always growing, is oversold, just like a finite number of seats in a plane is oversold by airlines, according to Ryan. "Except that they've oversold the Internet way more than that," he says. "They've oversold to the nth degree compared to what they can actually provide...The interesting thing about overselling is if you do that in real estate, you go to jail. Jim Baker goes to jail for that in the ’80s for overselling condos he didn't have." What We Have Here Is a Failure to Communicate Who's That Walking on My Bridge? Ryan says connection providers want to get more money by triple dipping. For example, Netflix pays for bandwidth to send their content and individuals pay for bandwidth to receive it, but now, he says, connection providers want Netflix to pay more for sending you such big chunks of digital stuff. "The analogy to me is like there's a toll bridge between my house and my job," he says. "I gotta pay 10 bucks a day to cross the toll bridge. But they're also charging my company 20 bucks a day for me to be on the bridge, too. You can't charge twice for the same access." But Ryan's major concern is with bandwidth carriers who have a vested interest in delivering specific content. He cites how AT&T and Verizon treated Vonage, which offered Internet-based phone service that competed directly with those companies' own phone service. "They would destroy call quality on Vonage so that people wouldn't use Vonage service," he says. "They were delivering the same service over the same lines, and they wanted their content delivered at a better quality level. Knocking down net neutrality would make that explicitly legal, versus right now it’s a gray area." "Comcast owns a huge content library," points out Welch. "They're going to want their content delivered in the utmost quality and reliability. But if you're watching Hulu, which is a product that's not owned by Comcast... eh, not so much. I pick on Comcast specifically because they're the biggest behemoth in this space. Time Warner, Charter, all of them want to do the exact same thing." "You don't have to look too far to see that it's already happening when companies shut down certain TV channels in certain markets," Ryan adds. "It's two big companies in a pissing match over who's going to spend more. It'll start happening with the Internet." Harrison is not as worried about carriers putting the screws on competing content. "If Comcast gets too restrictive, I'm going to go on EPB. If EPB gets too weird, I'll get a satellite uplink. If that gets too weird, I'll hook a couple of AT&T and Verizon links together," he says. "And if that gets too bad, well somebody's going to go invent another Internet." But Ryan doesn't see those technical alternatives as a real possibility. Ryan: "I can't see a world in which Comcast, Verizon, AT&T and these other big players don't lobby the hell out of that and stop [a new Internet] from happening." Harrison: "What happens if we all start hooking up private networks?" Ryan: "That would be great but it's not going to happen for hardly anyone. Not enough people are going to do it." Harrison: "I think if the Internet gets bad enough, they will." It Makes the World Go 'Round I ask what these three would like to see happen. "What I would like to see out of all this as the positive benefit to consumers is to require that content providers have to connect equally to all distribution methods," says Welch. If the ultimate answer is more money changing hands between content providers and bandwidth providers, Ryan is concerned about the effect on start up content providers. "It's so cost prohibitive at that point that no one can come in and start," he says. "If startup cost is a billion dollars, who's going to do that?" Harrison wants to see a tendency toward net neutrality, but without putting too much restriction on carriers. And he thinks ultimately, the free market Internet will work the problem out. "If they decide you're not going to be able to see Netflix because they're mad at Netflix or because they're owned by a competing company, that's bad," he grants. "But what I have also seen on the Internet is that [companies] who inflict too much restriction die, because people will go do something else." Learning Working giving This is the International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers Local 175. Connecting Chattanooga for more than 100 years. chattanoogapulse.com • January30-february 5, 2014 • The Pulse • 9 Music BRIAN KING Moose Once Again On The Loose Seminal local band regroups better than ever S OMETIME AROUND 1984, I BECAME AWARE THAT ORIGInal music actually existed in Chattanooga. Yeah, I know it existed well before that, but I’d only seen the cover bands playing marathon sets at places like Yesterday’s, and being an aspiring musician myself, I had met many of the musicians who plied that trade. So while I respected these bands’ talents, I knew that scene was not for me. I had become influenced by the punk/ new wave/underground movements and in 1984, in the South, especially in Chattanooga, there wasn’t much evidence such things existed. Nevertheless, that was the year I made a crucial friendship in my musical education, and I was introduced to a very special bunch of eccentrics who called themselves Musical Moose. Believe it or not, that first introduction came at, of all places, The Pickle Barrel. Tucked away in the corner, an abbreviated version of the Moose ran through a selection of the funkiest, jazziest, wildest, and most verbally intriguing songs I had ever heard in a local bar. After that, I was hooked. The Musical Moose regularly packed the old Brass Register on Georgia Avenue on many a weekend, and I’m pretty sure they were the only all-original band to do such a thing. The music was fun, danceable, honest music yet also challenging and sophisticated. The band, made up of Tommy Cotter on guitar, the enigmatically-named Zeno, and the rhythm section of brothers Bob and Mike Courter, had by this point already been together for some time, even having taken up residence in New York City in the late ’70s, and of course played the famous CBGB’s. So to me, these guys were rock stars! A band that actually wrote and performed their own material? And talk about musicianship! All members of the Moose were virtuosos, both instrumentally and vocally, and everyone sang and wrote the material. Truly exceptional! So—flash forward 30 years to the present and guess who’s back? Musical Moose has made a return to Chattanooga stages, now as a three-piece (unfortunately Zeno, whose given name was Bob Wilkerson, passed away a few years ago) and they are arguably even stronger as a band. They’ve tucked away a brace of local gigs, including the Riverbend Festival, but have also invaded hipster meccas JJ’s Bohemia and Sluggo’s North, thus introducing their still-unique music to kids who weren’t even born yet when I first heard them, and by all accounts, they are falling right back into it as effortlessly as slipping into a favorite pair of jeans. Yes, the band is older and grayer perhaps, but like drummer Bob Courter told me at some length recently, full of excitement about their reunion, “The new Moose is the best Moose ever.” Naturally, that’s just the way he should feel about it. And that’s one of the coolest things about this band. They still sound fresh, alive, and still very iconoclastic. Periphery comparisons abound. They play funk, but it’s not the hyper-macho, white-boy funk of the Red Hot Chili local and regional shows Tab Spencer with Hot Damn! [$3] The Kernal and His New Strangers [$5] Wed, Jan 29 Thu, Jan 30 9pm 9pm Live Trivia every Sunday afternoon from 4-6pm Followed by Free Live Irish Music starting at 7pm Full food menu serving lunch and dinner. 11am-2am, 7 days a week. 35 Patten Parkway * 423.468.4192 thehonestpint.com * facebook.com/TheHonestPint 10 • The Pulse • January30-february 5, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com Between the Sleeves Peppers. They play jazz rock, but again, that label is misleading. Talking Heads? Eh, sorta. There just isn’t a band quite like them. Their website calls it progressive funk rock, and I guess that will have to do until you can get to a show and figure it out for yourself. Musical Moose are currently in the midst of something of a creative renaissance. They are working on a new release of brand new Moose songs, more live performances are looming, and their new website at www.musicalmooseband.com contains loads of cool pictures, videos, and a selection of past songs from culled from their two albums Moose on a Hot Tin Roof (1985) and Gone with the Moose (1996) available for download including the infamous Moose on the Loose at CBGBs 1979. “ Flash forward 30 years to the present and guess who’s back? Musical Moose has made a return to Chattanooga stages. I’d like to also make clear the point that Musical Moose are important from another aspect. Chattanooga today enjoys a diverse and exciting live music community with a lot of truly interesting alloriginal music being produced by a wealth of bands and performers, and in a certain respect, we owe this current proliferation of acts to the bands like the Moose who pioneered a music scene here in the first place. Without their efforts to show the club owners there could be a market for bands performing all-original material, there wouldn’t even be a JJ’s Bohemia. And by equal turns, there wouldn’t be a current crop of bands with the guts to play original music if there hadn’t been someone to show us it could be done. Long may you wave, Musical Moose. We’re all the better for your existence. record reviews • ernie paik Yes and No, Clangs and Warbles Decades of prog-rock from Yes, Finnish ghostly melodies Yes The Studio Albums 1969-1987 (Rhino/Atlantic) T he British band Yes is an easy target, sure; just think of its prog-rock indulgence, keyboardist Rick Wakeman wearing a cape, Jon Anderson’s high voice and precious new-agey lyrics and those fantasy-landscape Roger Dean album covers. These things can be pardoned because when Yes was at its peak, it was monstrous and sublime— fulfilling a huge ambition with the technical chops and compositional imagination necessary and absolutely deserving of a spot in the rock pantheon. However, Yes had its share of dodgy points too, and the new 13-disc boxed set documents a tumultuous career, containing Yes’s studio albums from the self-titled debut to Big Generator. First of all, here are the nuts and bolts—these are the 2003 remasters, which still sound excellent, including all bonus tracks from those issues. Buy it for the music, not the packaging or extras: there’s a fold-out miniposter but no book (which would Kemialliset Ystävät Kultaista Kaupunkia Etsimässä (Dekorder) have been nice, but there’s always Wikipedia), and the CDs are enclosed in small reproductions of the original albums. Prog-head audiophiles, note that the brand new Steve Wilson surroundsound and stereo remasters of Close to the Edge are not included here. Yes has always dabbled in pop since the beginning, and the debut album is an often overlooked gem in the catalog, benefiting from Bill Bruford’s distinctive, charged drumming style. After the orchestra-enhanced Time and a Word came the band’s three-album peak, with The Yes Album, Fragile and Close to the Edge, rightfully considered the band’s masterpieces with classics like “Yours is No Disgrace,” “Roundabout,” and the 19-minute “Close to the Edge.” Then, things start to go a bit downhill. While most of these albums aren’t as bad as some people might have you think, they also aren’t as good as the band perhaps wanted them to be. Tales from Topographic Oceans is the epitome of prog-rock excess; it’s a huge mess, but not without splashes of brilliance. Relayer fares better and is probably the best from this stage, and thenceforth, Yes seemed to go pointedly into more strictly rock or strictly pop territories. With low expectations, listeners may be pleasantly surprised to realize that Tormato and Drama are flawed but not worthless. This writer has fond childhood memories of 90125, but today, its slick, radio-friendly production and badly dated flourishes are hard to bear, apart from the still-enjoyable semi-a cappella “Leave It.” Big Generator, however, is unlistenable and best forgotten. It’s never been easier to absorb the whole Yes spectrum and decide for yourself. A ny new release by the Finnish concern Kemialliset Ystävät, centered on brainchild Jan Anderzén, is cause for celebration, and it taps into a weird energy to create its colorful 21st century electro-acoustic music that is odd but not off-putting. Its latest EP, Kultaista Kaupunkia Etsimässä (“Looking for Golden Town” in Finnish), is finally finding a proper release on the Dekorder label after being created in August 2009 by Anderzén and six collaborators, and it doesn’t sound a bit stale today; this writer figures that it won’t sound stale 20 years from now, too. Kemialliset Ystävät perhaps sounds like a more loop-obsessed version of the Residents in the mid-’70s, intentionally warping every single sound to give it more personality; no presets seem to be allowed, with nothing permitted to be normal. The first track, “Marsin Kanaalit” (“Canals of Mars”), uses thickly layered deformed sample loops and a flurry of wordless vocal pieces, with ghostly melodies skulking around; there’s a primitivism to it, offset by the artificial electronic flourishes. The clangs and warbles of “Yhdeksänmetrinen Jättiläinen” are like some bizarre pan-ethnic concoction, bringing to mind folk music from both Asia and Eastern Europe, and the brief “Hyppivät Saaret” evokes Devo’s Mark Mothersbaugh with jarring loops and playful pitch-shifted vocal shards. “Onko Tulella VapaaAikaa?” (“Is it the Sorcerer’s Apprentice’s Leisure Time?”) is a complicated mesh of disjointed percussion and 8-bit electronics, followed by two bonus tracks by Tomutonttu, which is just another name used by Anderzén, including the cleansing, gurgling beeps and bloops of “E.K.A.” It’s a stimulating album, gleeful in its eccentricities but not to the point of being annoying. It’s confusing and transportive but not unpleasant, perhaps a bit like enjoying getting lost in an unfamiliar forest, not particularly eager to find your way out soon. chattanoogapulse.com • January30-february 5, 2014 • The Pulse • 11 Chattanooga Live CHATTANOOGA MUSIC CALENDAR Jordan Hallquist Behold The Brave LIVE MUSIC JAN / FEB 30 THE BREAKFAST CLUB FRI 10p 31 SAT D.M.T.B 10p 1 UPTOWN BIG BAND TUE 8p 4 THU LARRY KEEL’S 9p 6 JORDAN HALLQUIST THU 9p with AMBER FULTS, RYAN OYER 80'S DANCE & PARTY BAND DAVE MATTHEWS TRIBUTE BAND 17 PIECE BAND SWING PARTY ACOUSTIC POWER TRIO with CAPTAIN MIDNIGHT 7 MUSIC FOR MUTTS SAT 8p 9 WED DRAKE WHITE 9p 12 DRIVIN N CRYIN with THE HEAD FRI 9:30p for NOAHS-BARK ANIMAL RESCUE & BIG FIRE POWERFUL ROCK & COUNTRY! 2.13 ZOSO: THE ULTIMATE LED ZEPPELIN TRIBUTE 2.14 THAT '90S LOVE SHOW V-DAY PARTY! COMING SOON VELCRO PYGMIES SAT THE BOYS ARE READY TO ROCK!! 10p 15 ALL SHOWS 21+ UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED • NON-SMOKING VENUE 221 MARKET STREET HOT MUSIC • FINE BEER • GREAT FOOD BUY TICKETS ONLINE • RHYTHM-BREWS.COM THUrsday 1.30 “Pickin’ at the Post” with bluegrass bands 5 p.m. American Legion Post, Trenton, Ga. (706) 657-5275 Bluegrass and Country jam 6:30 p.m. Grace Nazarene Church, 6310 Dayton Blvd., Hixson. (423) 842-5919, chattanoogagrace.com Songwriter Shootout 7 p.m. The Camphouse, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081, thecamphouse.com Soddy-Daisy Jamboree 7 p.m. Soddy-Daisy Community Center, 190 Deport St. (423) 332-4901, soddy-daisy.org Bad Tattoo 7 p.m. Las Margaritas, 1647 25th St. NW, Cleveland. (423) 614-8855 The Loop 7 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956, sugarsribs.com Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, Coconut Room, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055, thepalmsathamilton.com Courtney Daly, Ivan Wilson 7 p.m. Bart’s Lakeshore, 5600 Lakeshore Dr. (423) 870-0777, bartslakeshore.com Tim Neal and Mike Harris 7:30 p.m. Mexi Wings VII, 5773 Brainerd Rd. (423) 509-8696, 12 • The Pulse • January30-february 5, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com mexiwingviichattanooga.com The Kernal and His New Strangers, Christian Lee Hutson 9 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192, thehonestpint.com Open Mic with Hap Henniger 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn) (423) 634-9191 Chattanooga Unplugged: Jordan Hallquist, Amber Fults, Ryan Oyer 9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St, (423) 267-4644, rhythm-brews.com Battle of the Bands II 9 p.m. SkyZoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 468-4533, chattazooga.com DJ Puddin 9:30 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878, budssportsbar.com Black Dominoes, Acid Kid Collective, Battallie, Swim Wear 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, jjsbohemia.com friday 1.31 Charley Yates 4:30 p.m. Wimpie’s Country Restaurant, 9826 Dayton Pike. (423) 332-6201 Jason Thomas: The Man in Black Tribute 5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Victorian Lounge, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000, choochoo.com GoodFoot 6 p.m. SkyZoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 468-4533, chattazooga.com Binji Varsossa 6 p.m. Cancun Mexican Restaurant & Lounge, 1809 Broad St. (423) 266-1461 Danny Sample/Dave Walters 7 p.m. 212 Market St. (423 ) 265-1212, 212market.com The Half & Half Band 7 p.m. Troy’s Place, 320 Emerson Dr. Ringgold, Ga. (423) 965-8346 Cowboy Gospel Jubilee 7 p.m. Cleveland Cowboy Church, 3040 Blythe Rd. SE, Cleveland. (423) 476-7936, clevelandcowboychurch.com Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, Coconut Room, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055, thepalmsathamilton.com MODOC, Behold the Brave, Rigoletto 8 p.m. Moccasin Bend Brewing Company, 4015 Tennessee Ave. (423) 821-6392, bendbrewingbeer.com Black Jacket Symphony: Led Zeppelin’s House of the Holy 8 p.m. Tivoli Theater, 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5156, chattanoogaonstage.com 9th Street Stompers 8 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 Broad St. (423) 424-3775, chattanooganhotel.com Mountain Opry 8 p.m. Walden’s Ridge Civic Center, 2501 Fairmount Pike, Signal Mountain. (423) 886-3252 Channing Wilson 8:30 p.m. Phibbs Bar & Grille, 96 Fieldstone Village Dr, Rock Spring, Ga. (706) 375-5400 Front Porch Junkies 8:30 p.m. Jack A’s Chop Shop Saloon, 742 Ashland Ter. (423) 710-8739, jackaschopshopsaloon.com Jonathan Wimpee 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn) (423) 634-9191 Convertibull 9 p.m. Las Margaritas, 1647 25th St. NW, Cleveland. (423) 614-8855 DJ “O” 9 p.m. SkyZoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 468-4533, chattazooga.com DJ Dance Party 9 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, Lounge, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055, thepalmsathamilton.com Soul Survivor 9:30 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956, sugarsribs.com Plow Boys 9:30 p.m. Pokey’s Sports Bar, 918 Sahara Dr., Cleveland. (423) 476-6059 Ragdoll 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878, Chattanooga Live 901 Carter St (Inside Days Inn) 423-634-9191 MUSIC CALENDAR Roger Alan Wade 9th Street Stompers Thursday, January 30: 9pm Open Mic with Hap Henninger Friday, January 31: 9pm Jonathan Wimpee Saturday, February 1: 10pm Kara-Ory-Oke Tuesday, February 4: 7pm Server/Hotel Appreciation Night budssportsbar.com The Breakfast Club 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644, rhythm-brews.com Roger Alan Wade 10 p.m. T-Bones, 1419 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4240, tboneschattanooga.com saturday 2.1 Greg Erwin 1:30 p.m. Cartecay Vineyards, 5704 Clear Creek Rd., Ellijay, Ga. (706) 698-9463, cartecayvineyards.com Johnny Cash Tribute Band 5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Victorian Lounge, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000, choochoo.com Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, Coconut Room, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055, thepalmsathamilton.com Marlow Drive 7 p.m. SkyZoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 468-4533, chattazooga.com College Band Night 7:30 p.m. The Camphouse, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081, thecamphouse.com 9th Street Stompers 8 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 Broad St. (423) 424- 3775, chattanooganhotel.com Jesse James 8:30 p.m. Jack A’s Chop Shop Saloon, 742 Ashland Ter. (423) 710-8739, jackaschopshopsaloon.com Monomath (following screening of “The Visitor” 8:30 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347, barkinglegs.org DJ “O” 9 p.m. SkyZoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 468-4533, chattazooga.com DJ Dance Party 9 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, Lounge, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055, thepalmsathamilton.com Ragdoll 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878, budssportsbar.com Dave Matthews Tribute Band 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644, rhythm-brews.com Kara-Ory-Oke 10 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn) (423) 634-9191 Gabe Newell 10 p.m. T-Bones, 1419 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4240, tboneschattanooga.com sunday 2.2 9th Street Stompers 11 a.m. The Flying Squirrel, 55 Johnson St. (423) 602-5980, flyingsquirrelbar.com Friends of Folk Music 2 p.m. Chattanooga Folk School, 1200 Mountain Creek Rd., #130. (423) 827-8906, chattanoogafolk.com Irish Traditional Music 5 p.m. Moccasin Bend Brewing Company, 4015 Tennessee Ave. (423) 821-6392, bendbrewingbeer.com Irish Music The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192, thehonestpint.com Blind Draw 9 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878, budssportsbar.com DJ Spicolli 9 p.m. SkyZoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 468-4533, chattazooga.com monday 2.3 Babershop Harmony Group 7 p.m. All Saints Academy, 310 East 8th St. (423) 876-7359. Big Band Nite 7:30 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, Coconut Room, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055, thepalmsathamilton.com tuesday 2.4 DJ X’Phakder 6 p.m. SkyZoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 468-4533, chattazooga.com Uptown Big Band Swing Party 8 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644, rhythm-brews.com Open Mic with Mike McDade 8:30 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pike. (423) 266-1996 Friendship Explosion 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, jjsbohemia.com $5 Pitchers $2 Wells $1.50 Domestics ● ● All shows are free with dinner or 2 drinks! Stop by & check out our daily specials! Happy Hour: Mon-Fri: 4-7pm $1 10oz drafts, $3 32oz drafts, $2 Wells, $1.50 Domestics, Free Appetizers Join us on Facebook wednesday 2.5 Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, Coconut Room, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055, thepalmsathamilton.com Fritsl Butler 7 p.m. The Camphouse, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081, thecamphouse.com Roger Alan Wade 7:30 p.m. Jack A’s Chop Shop Saloon, 742 Ashland Ter. (423) 710-8739, jackaschopshopsaloon.com Open Mic 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, jjsbohemia.com DJ Puddin 9:30 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878, budssportsbar.com Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ chattanoogapulse.com. house ground wagyu beef burger • fries $10 10 celebrating delicious years! m-th 5-9:30pm • fri-sat 5-10pm 1278 market st • 423.266.4400 chattanoogapulse.com • January30-february 5, 2014 • The Pulse • 13 Arts hayley graham Sculpting A New Arts Landscape Sculpture Fields at Montague Park aims to bring in international interest O N A PLEASANT, SUNNY AFTERNOON, A string of clouds over 23rd St. are pierced by the points of five large, red beams. The beams, a sculpture known as “River City Queen” by Doug Schatz, reach skyward, casting an elegant shadow across the rain-soaked grass below. “ I have a great relationship with most of the international sculptors around the world… and they have chosen to support what we’re doing and are lending us work as well.” photo by Josh Lang 14 • The Pulse • January30-february 5, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com This shadow points across the field toward the patio of John Henry’s home and studio, where he casually draws out an invisible map with his extended hand. This, he points out, waving across the horizon, are the 30 acres of land progressing into the Sculpture Fields at Montague Park. With a shock of white hair and eyes that are kind, but with gravity that demands attention, he speaks about the potential of this land as if he were speaking about the potential of plants to convert carbon dioxide to oxygen. There is no doubt in his mind that there is a grand opportunity here, and he intends to see the potential is realized. Montague Park, donated to the city by the Montague family in 1911, had fallen into disrepair over the years. “When we moved in, it was a dumping ground…you couldn’t walk in there. It was like a jungle,” Henry says. But the international sculptor with studios in Chicago, Miami and Chattanooga, saw the same potential in the land that he had originally seen here. “Chattanooga is unusual for its size. It’s a very small city to have such an industrial footprint.” That footprint, and its convenient location drew Henry to the city. Henry had been working from a studio space in Kentucky, but found it too remote. He and his team began looking elsewhere and their eyes landed squarely on Chattanooga. Not only did the city appeal, but the wealth of old factory buildings afforded him ample space to move in and create in real time. “For shipping,” Henry says, “there’s no greater location in the country. Everything is right at your fingertips.” Henry soon began to see the adjacent Montague Park as an ideal location for the display of monumental sculpture. The long-term goal for the park is not only to host some of the most impressive sculpture in the world, but to be a public park, usable for a variety of community activities. “It’s not going to be a high-brow, closedoff park,” Henry says, “We have a tremendous community outreach plan.” The park will boast an amphitheater for classes and performances, bicycle racks, walking trails and places for people to gather and enjoy the beauty of the sculpture garden. Henry and the board of the Sculpture Fields at Montague Park also hope to create a partnership with local schools and at least one university to create an arts education program, for which he says the curriculum is already set. The hope is that involvement from the community will be as vital to the success of the park as much as the scope and reach of the sculpture itself. “Are we going to have the best contemporary sculpture in the world? Yes,” Henry says. But partnerships with local businesses and other non profits will be of great importance as well, “so that we’re consistently in touch with the pulse of the community.” He’s quick to point out this is not a city-funded project, though the city will provide normal park maintenance. “We’re not asking the city council for money. There’s city participation, but we do not expect them to have a line item in our budget.” Henry and the board have privately raised the funds for all the now, build it out and create nice individual places for sculptures,” Henry says. All pieces will be on loan from one to five years. In Henry’s opinion, a sculpture garden of this caliber will be a huge draw to arts enthusiasts around the globe, bringing a wealth of new tourism, which is exciting for him not only as an artist, but as a member of the extended community. He looks forward to opening Chattanooga up to even greater awareness from the rest of the world. “It will have a tremendous economic impact,” Henry says emphatically. “People that come in will be people of means. They’ll stay in hotels, they’ll eat in local restaurants and they’ll buy local goods.” “For a visual artist—for a sculptor— Chattanooga is ideal logistically and for making work, but on a scale of 1-10, it’s about a .5 for a market. There’s just not a visual arts market place.” Henry hopes to see that change, and intends the Sculpture Fields at Montague Park to be a catalyst for that change. photo by Josh Lang While Chattanooga has been a pieces currently on display and intend to wonderful destination for artists creatcontinue to do so. “I have a great relaing work, it has not been a top attraction tionship with most of the international for buyers, collectors and arts enthusisculptors around the world… and they asts. With the addition of some of the have chosen to support what we’re domost profound sculpture in the world at ing and are lending us work [as well].” Montague Park, Henry believes the marWithin the year, there is expected to be ket will be newly appreciated. “Once we work from about 30 different artists, not are up and running and start advertising only from the U.S., but from places like nationally, there will be a path beaten to Germany, Mexico and Uruguay. “We’re our door,” he says. “Not just nationally, but internationally.” getting ready to really go for the gold chattanoogapulse.com • January30-february 5, 2014 • The Pulse • 15 A “Best Scenic View” Southern Living, Reader’s Choice Awards Arts & Entertainment SeeRockCity.com Each Season, New Reason! For less than the cost of two single admissions to Rock City, you can come back again and again... for FREE! Ty Barnett CSO Presents "All Brahms" THUrsday 1.30 for more info call 706.820.2531 EVENTS CALENDAR “Musical Stories: An Evening on the Battery” 6 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968, huntermuseum.org Wild Edibles workshop - Eat the Weeds in Your Yard 6 p.m. Outdoor Chattanooga, 200 River St. (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com TerraMae Appalachian Bistro Anniversary St. Jude Benefit 6 p.m. TerraMae, 122 E. 10th St. (423) 710-2925, terramaechattanooga.com “Mystery of the Redneck Italian Wedding” 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, funnydinner.com “The Important of Being Earnest” 7 p.m. Bryan College, 721 Bryan Dr., Dayton. (423) 775-2041 “The Odd Couple” 7 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St, (423) 267-8534, theatrecentre.com “It’s Only Life” 7 p.m. ReCreate Café, 800 McCallie Ave. (423) 756-1023, csarmy.org Van Gogh Snowy Hill Workshop 7 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Ter., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, artsychattanooga.com Ty Barnett 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. 16 • The Pulse • January30-february 5, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com (423) 629-2233, thecomedycatch.com CSO Presents “All Brahms” 7:30 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. (423) 642-TIXS, chattanoogasymphony.org DanceWise: Point of Departure 8:30 p.m. University of the South at Sewanee, 735 University Ave., (931) 598-1000, sewanee.edu friday 1.31 North Chick Creek 2 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Ter., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, artsychattanooga.com Analogy & Exaggeration exhibit 5 p.m. St. Paul’s Episcopal Church, 305 W. 7th St. (423) 266-8195, stpaulschatt.org “Mystery of the Nightmare Office Party” 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, funnydinner.com “The Important of Being Earnest” 7 p.m. Bryan College, 721 Bryan Dr., Dayton. (423) 775-2041, bryan.edu “It’s Only Life” 7 p.m. ReCreate Café, 800 McCallie Ave. (423) 756-1023, csarmy.org Ty Barnett 7:30, 9:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, thecomedycatch.com “The Color Purple” 7:30 p.m. Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 5900 Brainerd Rd. (423) 987-5141, ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com “The Odd Couple” 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534, theatrecentre.com DanceWise: Point of Departure 8:30 p.m. University of the South at Sewanee, 735 University Ave., (931) 598-1000, sewanee.edu Friday Night Ballroom Dance Party 8:30 p.m. Ballroom Magic Dance Center, 4200 N. Access Rd. (423) 771-3646, ballroommagicdancecenter.com Amateur Night 9:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, funnydinner.com saturday 2.1 Hike on the Russell Cave Nature Trail 9 a.m. Outdoor Chattanooga, 200 River St. (423) 643-6888, outdoorchattanooga.com Groundhog Day Pre-Party 9:30 a.m. Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (423) 402-9960, tnaqua.org Annual Meeting and Program “Bottling Gold” 1 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo, 1400 Market St. (800) 872-2529 Nature Detectives: Owl Pellet Dissection 1 p.m. Chattanooga Arboretum and Nature Center, 400 Garden Rd. (423) 821-1160, chattanoogaanc.org “Double Dip” author Gretchen Archer, “The ExClub Tong Pang” author Janis Hashe book signing 2 p.m. Barnes & Noble, 2230 Hamilton Place Blvd. (423) 899-9970 “Mystery of the Redneck Italian Wedding” 5:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, funnydinner.com 2014 Heart Ball 6 p.m. Chattanoogan Hotel, 1201 S. Broad St. (423) 266-5000, chattanooganhotel.com “The Important of Being Earnest” 7 p.m. Bryan College, 721 Bryan Dr., Dayton. (423) 775-2041, bryan.edu Ty Barnett 7, 9:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, thecomedycatch.com Whimsical Evening Workshop 7 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Ter., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, artsychattanooga.com Ballroom Dance Class 7:30 p.m. The Ballroom at Hixson, 7001 MIddle Valley Rd., (423) 394-6428, theballroomathixson.com “Mystery of the Facebook Fugitive” 8 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Arts & Entertainment EVENTS CALENDAR The Moons of Jupiter Stewart Huff Market St. (423) 517-1839, funnydinner.com “The Odd Couple” 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534, theatrecentre.com MES Presents; “The Visitor” 8:30 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347, barkinglegs.org Stand-up Comedy: Stewart Huff 10:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St., (423) 517-1839, funnydinner.com sunday 2.2 Free First Sunday at the Hunter Museum Noon. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968, huntermuseum.org “The Odd Couple” 2:30 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534, theatrecentre.com “The Color Purple” 2:30 p.m. Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 5900 Brainerd Rd. (423) 987-5141, ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com Jones Observatory: The Moons of Jupiter 5:30 p.m. Clarence T. Jones Observatory, 10 Tuxedo Ave. (423) 425-4518, utc.edu/~jonesobs Impressionistic Landscape Workshop 6 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Ter., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, artsychattanooga.com monday 2.3 Rhythm Ballroom Dance 6 p.m. The Ballroom at Hixson, 7001 MIddle Valley Rd. (423) 394-6428, theballroomathixson.com tuesday 2.4 Bessie Smith Cultural Center’s 30th Anniversary Luncheon 11:30 a.m. Bessie Smith Cultural Center, 200 E. Martin Luther King Blvd. (423) 266-8658, bessiesmithcc.org Lecture: Sculptural Forms, Michelle Segre 5:30 p.m. Cress Gallery, UTC Fine Arts Center, Vine & Palmetto Sts. (423) 425-4600, utc.edu/cressgallery Rapid Learning Kayak Roll Practice 7 p.m. Southern Adventist University, 4881 Taylor Cir., Collegedale. (423) 236-2000, southern.edu An Evening with Dr. Wendy Mogel, author of “The Blessing of B Minus” 7 p.m. Baylor School Chapel, Baylor School, 171 Baylor School Rd. (423) 267-8505, baylorschool.org Rainy Day Workshop 7 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Ter., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, artsychattanooga.com Tyler Perry’s “Hell Hath No Fury Like a Woman Scorned” 7:30 p.m. Memorial Auditorium, 399 McCallie Ave. (423) 757-5156, chattanoogaonstage.com wednesday 2.5 Peace Corps Info Session: Live, Learn and Work with a Community Overseas 6 p.m. Chattanooga Public Library, 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5310, lib.chattanooga.gov PIGcosso Workshop 7 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Ter., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, artsychattanooga.com Rhythm Ballroom Dance 8 p.m. The Ballroom at Hixson, 7001 MIddle Valley Rd. (423) 394-6428, theballroomathixson.com ongoing “Contemporary Arts & Crafts” 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. Mon-Sat, 1 - 5 p.m. Sunday River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033, river-gallery.com “Un-Scene Chattanooga!” (starts Feb. 1) 11 a.m. - 6 p.m., Mon-Sat, 1 - 5 p.m. Sun. In-Town Gallery, 26A Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9214, intowngallery.com “Pictures Tell The Story” 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. Mon-Fri, Noon - 4 p.m. Saturday, Bessie Smith Cultural Center, 200 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-8658, bessiesmithcc.org “Winter Wonder Exhibit” 10 a.m. – 5 p.m. Mon-Sat Noon -5 p.m. Sun The Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 756-2738, cdmfun.org “Go Figure: Selections from the Permanent Collection” 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. Mon-Sat, Noon - 5 p.m. Sunday, Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 267-0968, huntermuseum.org “Photographic Prints” 8 a.m. - 5:30 p.m. Mon-Fri, 8 a.m. - Noon, Saturday, Gallery at Blackwell, 71 Eastgate Loop. (423) 894-7112 “Laurel Nakadate: Strangers and Relations” 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. Mon-Fri University of the South, 735 University Ave., Sewanee. (931) 598-1000, sewanee.edu Rock City Raptors 11 a.m. - 3 p.m. Fri-Sat, Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd., Lookout Mtn, Ga. seerockcity.com Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ chattanoogapulse.com. Named “One of the Ten Most Incredible Cave Waterfalls on Earth” World Reviewer 423.821.2544 RubyFalls.com chattanoogapulse.com • January30-february 5, 2014 • The Pulse • 17 Screen john devore Portrait of the Artist as a Young Failure “Inside Llewyn Davis” is vintage Coen Brothers R eal musicians don’t drag race Lamborghinis through the streets in Miami. Most of them take the bus and if they’re arrested for being drunk in public, a $2,500 bond is nearly impossible to pay. That there was a time when folk music, with its slow ballads and intricate harmonies, was a popular form is hard to believe in the days of Ke$ha and Pitbull. I’d take the occasional overwrought lyric and pretentious sweater any day over the current vapid party atmosphere that dominates Top 40 radio. Perhaps such an opinion makes me seem older than I am. Perhaps I’m just as old as I seem. Perhaps “Inside Llewyn Davis” reminds me of what I want music to be. There was certainly a time when I fantasized about being a traveling balladeer. “Inside Llewyn Davis” gives some insight into what that might look like. The latest offering from Joel and Ethan Coen is distinctly theirs, with their signature humor dotting the script, which is peppered with quiet songs and a soft melancholy. Each scene carries the cold wind of a dirty street, the loneliness of living on the fringe, and the strangeness of the people that occupy the edges. The film follows a young folk musician through a few 18 • The Pulse • January30-february 5, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com turbulent few days in New York City in the 1960s. Although, as the film goes on, I got the impression that given the short time we spend with Llewyn Davis (Oscar Isaac), these days aren’t any more or less turbulent than usual. Davis occupies the world of the struggling artist, but the struggle seems more important to the character than the artist does. We view such people as burning on the inside, passionate and glowing, eager to let themselves out into the world. Maybe Llewyn Davis started out that way. We meet him towards the end of his career. Despite being young, he has burned out. We see that there is no shortage of talent in the Village. It’s bustling with bright and wide-eyed performers, looking to share in the unique culture of authenticity that all styles initially possess. Davis has been in the scene too long and the stitching is beginning to show. He’s not especially endearing; he’s just a man with a guitar try to survive, trying to put away the inevitable pull of a working-class background and ever-encroaching end of Healthy, Freshly Prepared, Incredible Paninis, Salads, Soups & Entrees Dine-in Take Out Catering Online Ordering “ musical performances. They are poignant and capable, but underneath the correct notes and the poise on stage, we can sense the absence of honest feeling needed for Davis to be truly successful. Even with his genuine talent, he doesn’t have the depth of an artist. “Inside Llewyn Davis” is one of the best films this year, but is only nominated for a few technical Oscars (one of which is a well-deserved cinematography nod). One might consider this a snub, but the film is too strange for the Academy. It exists outside rigid categories and thus wouldn’t have warranted the attention needed for votes. The competition for Best Picture this year is fierce and an introspective picture like this one wouldn’t be able to compete with a film like “Her” or “American Hustle.” But the film isn’t just worth seeing; for film fans it needs to be seen, even if the Academy doesn’t give it the credit it deserves. The Coen Brothers make great movies. The latest offering from Joel and Ethan Coen is distinctly theirs, with their signature humor dotting the script, which is peppered with quiet songs and a soft melancholy.” Fresh To Order, Chattanooga 1919 Gunbarrell Rd. Suite103 Chattanooga, TN 37421 423.826.5000 freshTOorder.com Enjoy a Valentine’s Day Gift of Indulgence …with this sweetheart of a deal. Forget about the chocolates and flowers – treat yourself to the luxury of ultimate pampering with 15% OFF any massage or cosmetology service at MMTC Spa & Salon. We’re always a great value, and industry professionals ensure the quality of our students’ experience and yours. See you soon, Valentine. VALENTINES SAVINGS 15% OFF Any Massage or Cosmetology Service Offer expires 3/14/14. Not valid on gift cards. Not to be used in conjunction with other offers. 6020 Shallowford Rd., Suite 100, Chattanooga, TN 37421 SPA: 423-954-1264 SALON: 423-510-2759 The Perfect Gift for your Sweetheart! Call today to make your appointment. DEL.HOL.06613.K.101 an ordinary life. It takes the careful eye of the Coens to make such a character compelling. My honest belief is that everyone, no matter who they are, has a compelling story to tell. Anyone can be the focus of an Oscar-quality film if the writing and directing are there. Llewyn Davis could be any number of aspiring musicians and jaded performers that haunted the back alleys of New York City during the folk era. In fact, he most likely is all of them combined. He’s a story of sadness and regret, of poor behavior and poor choice, of unassailable courage and broken potential. The audience identifies with the loneliness, with the heartache, that rests within Llewyn Davis, despite his obvious faults and sometimes grating personality. Not much happens in the film, at least not much at seems important to us. But much happens internally, betrayed by small facial tics and powerful emotional outbursts. Of particular note are the chattanoogapulse.com • January30-february 5, 2014 • The Pulse • 19 Free Will Astrology Saving Mobile Lives 1906 Gunbarrel Rd. 423-486-1668 (Next to GiGi’s Cupcakes) cellphonerepair.com/chattanooga M-F 10am-7pm Sat: 11a-4pm Closed Sunday $ 35 Wax an zili a r B 423-314-0403 www.honeybunnywax.com rob brezsny AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Extravagant wigs became fashionable for a while in 18thcentury England. They could soar as high as four feet above a woman’s head. Collections of fruit might be arrayed in the mass of hair, along with small replicas of gardens, taxidermically stuffed birds, and model ships. I would love to see you wear something like that in the coming week. But if this seems too extreme, here’s a secondbest option: Make your face and head and hair as sexy as possible. Use your alluring gaze and confident bearing to attract more of the attention and resources you need. You have a poetic license to be shinier and more charismatic than usual. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): One of your anti-role models in the coming weeks is the character that Piscean diva Rihanna portrays when she sings in Eminem’s tune “Love the Way You Lie.” Study the following lyrics, mouthed by Rihanna, and make sure that in every way you can imagine, on psychological, spiritual, and interpersonal levels, you embody the exact opposite of the attitude they express: “You’re just gonna stand there and watch me burn / But that’s all right because I like the way it hurts / You’re just gonna stand there and hear me cry / But that’s all right, because I love the way you lie.” To reiterate, Pisces, avoid all situations that would tempt you to feel and act like that. ARIES (March 21-April 19): On my fifteenth birthday, I finally figured out that eating dairy products was the cause of my chronic respiratory problems. From that day forward, I avoided foods made from cow’s milk. My health improved. I kept up this regimen for years. But a month ago, I decided to see if my long-standing taboo still made sense. Just for the fun of it, I gave myself permission to gorge on a tub of organic vanilla yogurt. To my shock, there was no hell to pay. I was free of snot. In the last few weeks, I have feasted regularly on all the creamy goodies I’ve been missing. I bring this up, Aries, because I suspect an equally momentous shift is possible for you. Some taboo you have honored for a long time, some rule you have obeyed as if it were an axiom, is ripe to be broken. 20 • The Pulse • January30-february 5, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com soon. You won’t suddenly acquire the wizardly power to heal the sick minds of racists and homophobes and misogynists. Nor will you be able to cast an effective love spell on a sexy someone who has always resisted your charms. That’s the bad news. The good news is this: If you focus on performing less spectacular magic, you could accomplish minor miracles. For example, you might diminish an adversary’s ability to disturb you. You could welcome into your life a source of love you have ignored or underestimated. And you may be able to discover a secret you hid from yourself a long time ago. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Psychologist Daniel Kahneman, who won a Nobel Prize in Economics, says that consulting experts may be useless. In his study of Wall Street traders, he found their advice was no better than information obtained by a chimpanzee flipping a coin. Meanwhile, psychologist Philip Tetlock did a 20year study with similar results. He found that predictions made by political and financial professionals are inferior to wild guesses. So does this mean you should never trust any experts? No. But it’s important to approach them with extra skepticism right now. The time has come for you to upgrade your trust in your own intuition. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): I’m a big fan of logic and reason, and I urge you to be, too. Using your rational mind to understand your experience is a very good thing. The less stock you put in superstitious head trips and fear-based beliefs, the smarter you will be. Having said that, I recommend that you also make playful use of your creative imagination. Relish the comically magical elements of your mysterious fate. Pay attention to your dreams, and indulge in the pleasure of wild fantasies, and see yourself as a mythic hero in life’s divine drama. Moral of the story: Both the rational and the fantastical approaches are essential to your health. (P.S. But the fantastical needs extra exercise in the coming weeks.) CANCER (June 21-July 22): Sorry, Cancerian, you won’t be able to transform lead into gold anytime LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Cosmopolitan magazine is famous for offering tips on how to spice up one’s sex life. Here’s an example: “Take a few of your favorite erotically appealing flavor combinations, like peanut butter and honey or whipped cream and chocolate sauce, and mix up yummy treats all over your lover’s body.” That sounds crazy to me, and not in a good way. In any case, I recommend that you don’t follow advice like that, especially in the coming days. It’s true that on some occasions, silliness and messiness have a role to play in building intimacy. But they aren’t advisable right now. For best results, be smooth and polished and dashing and deft. Togetherness will thrive on elegant experiments and graceful risks. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You are not as broken as you may think you are. Your wounds aren’t as debilitating as you have imagined. And life will prove it to you this week. Or rather, let me put it this way: Life will attempt to prove it to you—and not just in some mild, half-hearted way, either. The evidence it offers will be robust and unimpeachable. But here’s my question, Virgo: Will you be so attached to your pain that you refuse to even see, let alone explore, the dramatic proof you are offered? I hope not! LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Kenneth Rexroth wrote a poem called “A Sword in a Cloud of Light.” I want to borrow that image. According to my astrological analysis and poetic intuition, you will generate the exact power you need in the coming weeks by imprinting your imagination with a vision of a sword in a cloud of light. I don’t want to get too intellectual about the reasons why, but I will say this: The cloud of light represents your noble purpose or your sacred aspiration. The sword is a metaphor to symbolize the new ferocity you will invoke as you implement the next step of your noble purpose or sacred aspiration. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Every autumn, the bird species known as the Clark’s Nutcracker prepares for its winter food needs by burying 30,000 pine nuts in 5,000 places over a 15-squaremile area. The amazing thing is that it remembers where almost all of them are. Your memory isn’t as prodigious as that, but it’s far better than you realize. And I hope you will use it to the hilt in the coming days. Your upcoming decisions will be highly effective if you draw on the wisdom gained from past events—especially those events that foreshadowed the transition you will soon be going through. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Can you imagine what it would be like to live without any hiding and pretending? How would you feel if you could relax into total honesty? What if you were free to say exactly what you mean, unburdened by the fear that telling the truth might lead to awkward complications? Such a pure and exalted condition is impossible for anyone to accomplish, of course. But you have a shot at accomplishing the next best thing in the coming week. For best results, don’t try to be perfectly candid and utterly uninhibited. Aim for 75 percent. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): It’s a favorable time to gather up resources and amass bounty and solicit help and collect lots of inside information. I won’t call you greedy if you focus on getting exactly what you need in order to feel comfortable and strong. In fact, I think it’s fine if you store up far more than what you can immediately use—because right now is also a favorable time to prepare for future adventures when you will want to call on extraordinary levels of resources, bounty, help, and inside information. Homework: Do a homemade ritual in which you vow to attract more blessings into your life. Report results at FreeWillAstrology.com Jonesin’ Crossword matt jones “Large and in Charge” --craaaaazy freestyle time. CO-PRODUCED BY Across 1 Like Twiggy’s fashion 4 Mild lettuce 8 Old French Communist Party of Canada inits. (hidden in EPCOT) 11 HBO character Gold 12 Old soap, sometimes 15 Give it the gas 16 Unwilling to move 17 Unit of electrical charge 19 Tom’s wife 20 Tibetan Buddhist practice 23 Checks a box 24 Howitzer of WWI 26 “___ the Beat” (Blondie album) 27 A, in some games 28 Substance that may darken your pasta 30 Series end at Downton Abbey? 31 As of riiiiiiight.....now 32 Z3 or X5 maker 35 Mission of “Peewee’s Big Adventure”? 36 Anatomical eggs 37 NASA astronaut Leroy ___ 40 Minor Arcana card 42 Opening opening? 43 DMV requirement 44 “C’est magnifique!” 46 Vitamin-B complex nutrients 49 Indivisible division figure 52 Sine ___ non 53 Wish for the trip back 54 Thurman of “The Producers” 55 All the same 56 Cautious (of) 57 Go down Down 1 Chagall or Jacobs 2 Milkshake flavor 3 Gave out, as a secret 4 Sedative, often 5 Ox tail? 6 Canadian singer/ songwriter ___ Naked 7 Baseball’s Powell 8 Washing machine cycle 9 Television host Dick 10 Brunch staple 12 “All Quiet on the Western Front” author 13 Scared beyond belief 14 “Am not!” comeback 16 Kid with no commute 18 “Chocolate” dog 21 Temple of films 22 Posted to your blog, say 24 “Moulin Rouge!” director Luhrmann 25 Drink machine freebie 29 Active 32 Little shop 33 AL award won by 7-Down in 1970 34 Never-___ (not even a has-been) 35 Anti-heartburn brand 37 Horse sounds 38 Bit of cheer 39 As we go about our days 41 Palindromic trig function 45 Not tons 47 Unable to sense 48 Car that sounds like it’s crying 50 Week-___glance calendar 51 Mangy mongrel Copyright © 2014 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0660 chattanoogapulse.com • January30-february 5, 2014 • The Pulse • 21 On the Beat alex teach Entirely Inappropriate Officer Alex deals with his un-PC brethren “Muffin top?” he said. “It looks more like her can of biscuits exploded.” I was already slack-jawed in disbelief about what he said before he was even finished, because we were literally standing next to the very obvious target of his observation. She turned towards us, her own look of horror surpassing my own, but lasting only a few seconds before it turned into a snarl of unconcealed rage. “Sweet Jesus,” I thought. “Why do I even talk to this guy?” I don’t have any particular problem with someone being an ass; I am a card-carrying “ass” myself. It doesn’t necessarily make someone a bad person. It just makes them blunt. But being that blunt when you are very conspicuously adorned from head to toe in an agencyprovided police uniform comes with certain conditions. I instinctively placed my palm over my face, but I never so much as entertained the thought that it would ever conceal my identity, because it’s guys like me (the “nice one”) that wind up with the inevitable complaint, not the other guy. “ That magic ‘polite switch’ in some of us just gets cut off after a while, and for some it gets smashed with a baseball bat like a dinner guest of Al Capone, never to be turned back on again.” “That’s not what he meant,” I reflexively said, if anything just to confuse the situation so that I could make our exit a hasty one. As if on cue, her look of rage showed a glimmer of confusion as she cocked her head to one side in consideration of this, and I grabbed my partner’s arm and motioned him towards the restaurant door. “You’re killing me, man.” “What?” my partner said, honestly. It’s funny how desensitization affects some cops as com- pared to others (if at all, though I find that depends on what type of cop that individual was: aggressive, or a placeholder). It does not seem unreasonable to bring up a beheading you may have seen at this location in the past despite the fact that “normal people” are around who may find such a discussion, no matter how nostalgic, to be inappropriate (or in the least, disconcerting). Or in this case, to point out what a poor decision it was for a young woman to wear a midriff-exposing T-shirt when an industrial tarp would’ve been more suitable—and she is within five feet of the verbalization. Or directly beside us in a checkout line…I mean close. Despite attempts otherwise by concerned citizens called “Democrats”, it’s perfectly normal to “think” something like this, to have an opinion or make an observation about something impolite. It’s just not nice to say it out loud. Sometimes, ever. Anyway, that magic “polite switch” in some of us just gets cut off after a while, and for some it gets smashed with a baseball bat like a dinner guest of Al Capone, never to MORE MONEY FOR YOUR GOLD! CHATTANOOGA’S #1 GOLD BUYER wants to give you MONEY for your jewelry! Get paid TOP-DOLLAR just like Rick’s thousands of satisfied customers! be turned back on again. At some point, it just seems reasonable to say unreasonable things, and to be genuinely confused when this turns out to not be the case. This certainly isn’t exclusive to cops. But we get in a shitload more trouble when we say things we shouldn’t have said (or that others, at least, shouldn’t have heard… something that occurred to me when I was just as unhealthy as my current partner). “I don’t get it,” my partner said. “I was just saying.” “Clint, you just can’t…you…it would be best if you were just quiet.” He shrugged. For him, that’s a breakthrough. The first time I caught myself doing the same thing was years ago at a Waffle House on evening shift. They’d just pulled a body out of the water near what is now the Boathouse Restaurant, “and some genius decided not to put the body bag in the water and lift the body out inside it,” I said. “They decided to lift the body out of the water into the bag, and as soon as this diver grabs it by the arm, blammo! It de-gloved from the elbow up!” We started (quietly) laughing and I said, “So there this guy is staring at the human glove in his hand and the victim’s got a goop-covered skeleton arm now and that’s when the vomiting started…” The older man behind us stared at his A-1 Sauce-covered patty melt and ketchupcovered hash browns, set the sandwich down, and went to the register to pay for his uneaten meal as I connected he dots. “Ooops.” It’s easy to let manners slip… or your whole mind slip, for that matter. You just need to keep an anchor point. Perspective. Or? A well-balanced, polite guy like me around. (Patty melt, anyone?) When officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center. Follow him on Facebook at www. facebook.com/alexteach Chow Beeps The Pulse WWW.RICKDAVISGOLDANDDIAMONDS.COM RICK DAVIS GOLD & DIAMONDS 5301 Brainerd Rd at McBrien Rd • 423.499.9162 22 • The Pulse • January30-february 5, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com Keep up to date with the latest restaurant specials, deals and more Follow us on Twitter @chowbeeps FACT FOR FACT, XFINITY® IS SUPERIOR. DON’T SETTLE FOR EPB. XFINITY® delivers the best in entertainment. EPB doesn’t come close. 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Service (including 911/emergency services) may not function after an extended power outage. Text messaging requires XFINITY Internet subscription. Call for restrictions and complete details, or visit comcast.com. Most Live Sports available with Digital Preferred TV and WatchESPN. ©2014 Comcast. All rights reserved. 30-Day Money-Back Guarantee applies to one month’s recurring service charge and standard installation charges up to $500. WiFi hotspots included with Performance Internet or above. NPA130792-0014 97556_NPA130792-0014 Yes-No EPB ad_5.172x10.396.indd 1 1/10/14 4:48 PM Music for Chattanooga’s Coolest Generation hippieradio1069.com chattanoogapulse.com • January30-february 5, 2014 • The Pulse • 23 Please Join Us for TerraMáe’s 1 Year Anniversary Celebration Explore, taste, & experience the Appalachian Trail Thursday, January 30th starting at 6:00pm Join us in celebrating the 1 year anniversary of Chattanooga’s buzziest restaurant in town. Sample the unique regional dishes and drinks from TerraMáe’s phenomenal Chef Shelley, as well as 5 more featured chefs — Chefs Bruce Lafone & John Campbell from North Carolina, Chefs Kyle & Emily Woodruff from Virginia, and Chattanooga’s own Chef Rebecca Barron from St. John’s Restaurant. Explore the historic StoneFort Inn while listening to live music from performers representing the featured chefs’ regional personality. Then top it off by celebrating with a cause by participating in our Silent Auction to benefit Siskin Children’s Institute. $115 Per Person // $50 of each ticket goes to Siskin Children’s Institute As well as proceeds from the Silent Auction Reserve Online or Call 423.710.2925 Located in the historic StoneFort Inn 122 E 10th Street | 423.710.2925 terramaechattanooga.com stonefortinn.com