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BEST IDEA TO BALANCE EAGLE’S BUDGET
PISS OFF THE MAYOR SO HE QUITS AND DON’T HIRE A REPLACEMENT
Clearly, $71,000 a year plus benefits was not enough for Phil Bandy. So hizzoner took a part-time job at Boise State. That set off a shitstorm of nasty remarks at Eagle City Hall, so Bandy promptly took his toys and went home. Without saying a thing to his colleagues or the media, Bandy quit and Eagle has been without a mayor ever since. The city council still hasn’t figured out a way to choose a new leader. Probably because most of them want to be mayor. Be careful what you wish for.
BEST PANTIES IN A TWIST
BEAT BUTCH UNDEROOS
Former gubernatorial candidate Pete Peterson ran his primary campaign on a single two-word platform that just so happened to fit quite nicely smattered across the butt cheeks of anyone who donned Peterson’s campaign swag. The booty: women’s white briefs with two bright blue words: Beat Butch.
BEST EXCUSE FOR THE MUNCHIES
BRIAN CRONIN’S HEMP ICE CREAM In support of Moscow Republican Rep. Tom Trail’s drive to legalize hemp production in Idaho, Boise Democrat Rep. Brian Cronin took a trip down memory lane and the grocery aisle to show lawmakers that hemp is good for everything from drafting a declaration of independence and covering wagons to, yes, making ice cream. At a hearing for the proposal, which ultimately went up in smoke, Cronin produced a box of hemp “milk” available at Boise Co-Op in an effort to show how lame it is that you can buy hemp products but the plants themselves are illegal. Lame. Lame, indeed, dude.
14 | BEST OF BOISE: STAFF PICKS | SEPTEMBER 22–28, 2010 | BOISEweekly
BEST THING TO DO WITH THE BOISE HOLE
MOVE IT TO AVIMOR TO LIVE WITH OTHER HALF-BUILT, HALF-FAILED PROJECTS
Glance over the more or less permanent plywood shielding around the Boise Tower Hole and what you’ll see is one wince-inducing, overgrown jungle of rebar. The trees are so rooted and growing so swiftly in that mess, before we know it, we’ll have that park some folks hope for. For now, it’s still in that awkward ’tween stage that looks like a decade-old train wreck. We say scoop it out—rebar, trees and all—and move it out to Avimor where the blight can join other projects of its kind. Let’s finally put the Hole out to pasture, literally.
BEST SHIT-SHOW
VAUGHN WARD
Vaughn Ward, the Sarah Palin-endorsed Republican primary candidate for Idaho’s First Congressional District, had a bit of a rough run. And by that we mean his gaffes made George W. Bush look downright smart. Not only did the Iraq War vet insist Puerto Rico was a country in a debate, he also admitted to not voting in the 2008 election after serving as John McCain’s campaign director in Nevada. And the cherry on the shit-show sundae? Days before the primary, a video was released that showed Ward plagiarizing one of President Barack Obama’s speeches, almost word for word. We’re proud to present Vaughn with the a-Ward for worst primary campaign.
BEST I SAW THE SIGN AND IT OPENED UP MY EYES
TEA PARTY RALLY SIGNAGE
This year’s innumerable flag-waving, “don’t tread on me” Tea Party rallies introduced some wacky new slogans on hastily scrawled signs. From the snarky ones, “I’ll keep my freedom, my guns, my money. You keep the change” to the punny ones, “Obama Bin Lyin’,” to the downright hilarious ones, “Make English America’s offical [sic] language” and “Thank you Fox News for keeping us infromed [sic],” tea partiers developed their own nonsensical language: Teabonics.
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