Boise Weekly Vol. 18 Issue 25

LOCAL, INDEPENDENT NEWS, OPINION, ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT WWW.BOISEWEEKLY.COM VOLUME 18, ISSUE 25 DECEMBER 16–22, 2009

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TAK EE E ON E! NEWS 7

READY, SET, NO-GO Boise horse track negotiations haltered FEATURE 10

DON’T DIY Why self-publishers need a little help from their friends NOISE 29

BRINGIN’ IT HOME Why Curtis Stigers doesn’t mind not being mobbed SCREEN 33

NO. 1 FAN Patton Oswalt’s turn in Big Fan questions hero worship

“There’s nothing without the skiing.”

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| DECEMBER 16–22, 2009 | BOISEweekly

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BW STAFF PUBLISHER: Sally Freeman Sally@boiseweekly.com Office Manager: Shea Sutton Shea@boiseweekly.com EDITORIAL Editor: Rachael Daigle Rachael@boiseweekly.com Arts & Entertainment Editor: Amy Atkins Amy@boiseweekly.com Features/Rec. Editor: Deanna Darr Deanna@boiseweekly.com News Editor: Nathaniel Hoffman Nathaniel@boiseweekly.com Staff Writer: Tara Morgan Tara@boiseweekly.com Listings: Juliana McClenna calendar@boiseweekly.com Proofreaders: Jay Vail, Annabel Armstrong Interns: Andrew Crisp, Blair Davison, Jeff Lake, Kelly McDonald Contributing Writers: Bill Cope, Bill English, Travis Estvold, Jennifer Hernandez, David Kirkpatrick, Eric Leins, E.J. Pettinger, Ted Rall, Jay Vail, Jeremiah Robert Wierenga ADVERTISING Account Executives: Meshel Miller, Meshel@boiseweekly.com Chelsea Snow, Chelsea@boiseweekly.com Jessi Strong, Jessi@boiseweekly.com Jill Weigel, Jill@boiseweekly.com CLASSIFIED SALES Classifieds@boiseweekly.com CREATIVE Art Director: Leila Ramella-Rader Leila@boiseweekly.com Graphic Designers: Adam Rosenlund, Adam@boiseweekly.com, Lindsey Loch, Lindsey@boiseweekly.com Contributing Artists: Derf, Mike Flinn, Glenn Landberg, Jeremy Lanningham, Laurie Pearman, E.J. Pettinger, Ted Rall, Tom Tomorrow CIRCULATION Shea Sutton Shea@boiseweekly.com Apply to Shea Sutton to be a BW driver.

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NOTE I’M GOING TO SAY THIS TWICE. First, I’ll say it in this week’s Note and, next week, I’ll repeat it just for good measure. Between noon on Wednesday, Dec. 23, and 9 a.m. on Monday, Jan. 4, 2010, Boise Weekly is going off the grid. You’ll still get your Boise Weekly every Wednesday, but this week and next, we’re working triple time to sew up the remaining editions of this year so that we can close up shop for a full seven business days. Those of you who’ve been around awhile know this is business as usual for us around the end of the year. It’s not a sign that we’ve gone under, been sold or just abandoned the old office for a beach and a Bintang in Bali. Nope, nothing that cool. We simply lock up and quit answering phones, returning e-mails and eating three meals a day at our desks. We take a few days to get reacquainted with our homes and our better halves before beginning the new year. So, if you don’t hear from us during that time, don’t worry, we’ll get back to you after our vacation.

In this week’s edition of Boise Weekly, you’ll read about Tamarack’s ghost-town feel in Rec and about a couple of longtime, long-loved people and places in Noise and Food.

In Arts, you’ll have the privilege of a little more E.J. Pettinger than we usually give you each week. The creator of “Mild Abandon” is known to trade out his pithy illustrations for a longer written discourse from time to time, and we like to seize those moments whenever possible. This week’s feature, “Just Because You Can, Doesn’t Mean You Should ... Without Some Help,” by Amy Atkins has had me in intellectual fits all week as I try to work out some comparison between the music and book industries.

Musicians have established a well worn path around the big dogs with independent labels, and often that results in more authentic, higher quality music than the over-produced crap major labels sell us. Do writers have a similar option—something between a vanity press and a major publishing house? Despite the grey area small presses offer, I’m not convinced authors have the indie thing quite worked out. Though Atkins’ story has provided me with some answers, it’s left me with just as many questions.

—Rachael Daigle

COVER ARTIST SPONSORED BY

BOISE BLUE ART SUPPLY

ARTIST: Tyler Bowling TITLE: Fly by Night MEDIUM: Acrylic and airbrush

EDITORIAL DEADLINE: Thursday at noon before publication date.

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Deadlines may shift at the discretion of the publisher.

ARTIST STATEMENT: The Red Tent is currently generating media. Stay tuned!

Boise Weekly was founded in 1992 by Andy and Debi Hedden-Nicely. Larry Ragan had a lot to do with it too.

BOISE WEEKLY IS AN INDEPENDENTLY OWNED AND OPERATED NEWSPAPER.

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SUBMIT

Boise Weekly pays $150 as well as a $25 gift certificate to Boise Blue Art Supply for published covers. One stipulation of publication is that the piece must be donated to BW’s annual charity art auction in November. Proceeds from the auction are reinvested in the local arts community through a series of private grants for which all artists are eligible to apply. To submit your artwork for BW’s cover, bring it to BWHQ at 523 Broad St. Square formats are preferred and all mediums are accepted.

Thirty days from your submission date, your work will be ready for pick up if it’s not chosen to be featured on the cover. Work not picked up within six weeks of submission will be discarded.

BOISEweekly

| DECEMBER 16–22, 2009 | 3

WWW.BOISEWEEKLY.COM What you missed this week in the digital world.

GLENN LANDB ER G

INSIDE

WHO NEEDS A MOUNTAIN WHEN YOU HAVE A PARKING LOT? Parrilla Grill hosted its version of a snow dance last weekend: a rail jam in its parking lot. Competitors were towed in on a bungee and competed for cash prizes. Visit Cobweb for the winners, as well as photos and video of the show.

HELLO, IT’S BON JOVI. IS THIS THE UNIBOMBER? Jimmy Fallon and Jon Bon Jovi recently made a call to Boise on national television. All they got was voice mail and all Boise got was a unibomber comparison. Gee thanks, Bon Jovi.

Check out the video at Cobweb.

GUV RACE GETS ANOTHER ONE A new Dem has entered the race for governor. In an email sent out to The Common Interest supporters, Keith Allred announced his candidacy for the state’s top office. Read the memo at citydesk.

FUN ON THE CHEAP Had you been surfing boiseweekly.com last week, you would have discovered deals on entertainment: a free showing of the cult classic Forbidden Zone and $10 off Guy Fieri’s Morrison Center show. What will crop up this week?

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EDITOR’S NOTE BILL COPE TED RALL NEWS Horseracing’s future going in circles CITIZEN TRUE CRIME / MONDO GAGA FEATURE Self publishing: quality vs. vanity BW PICKS FIND 8 DAYS OUT SUDOKU NOISE Catching up with Curtis Stigers MUSIC GUIDE ARTS Idea as Art SCREEN Big Fan on the big screen MOVIE TIMES VIDIOT REC Ghost town Tamarack PLAY FOOD Jerry’s State Court Cafe version 2.0 WINE SIPPER CLASSIFIEDS HOME SWEET HOME NYT CROSSWORD FREEWILL ASTROLOGY

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BILL COPE/OPINION

150 YEARS OF READING A gift you can’t return

Read anything good this year? And before going any further, let us qualify what I mean by good reading. First, at least some small portion of the reading material must have actually been written by the person who claims to have written it. So Going Rogue doesn’t count.

Also, the material cannot be one of those books purchased in bulk quantities and distributed by right-wing organizations so as to make it appear that Americans are flocking to read it. Therefore, if you were ready to tell me you read something by Glenn Beck or Jonah Goldberg, save your breath.

Lastly, I mean the word “good” here to define a more elevated standard for the written word, and further, to exclude whatever does not meet those standards. So, if you spent the year cuddled up with anything having to do with teenage vampires, frankly, I’m not interested.

U Then let me ask again: Read anything good this year?

I have. I sure have. In fact, I’ve probably read—and delighted in—more good stuff this year than I have during any previous year of my life. It all started a week or two before the Inauguration. If you remember, at the time, there was a great deal of comparison between Barack Obama and Abe Lincoln. I appreciated the spirit of these comparisons, if not some of the trivial nature they came wrapped in. I felt—still feel—a most significant circle was about to close on Jan. 20. A circle 150 years wide, 150 years deep, into which most of American history and culture and heart and anguish and joy would fit.

So more out of sentimentality than anything else, I decided to re-read something I hadn’t seen since my college days. It was written by one of Lincoln’s most ardent admirers on the occasion of that great man’s murder—“When Lilacs Last in the Dooryard Bloom’d.” I’ve kept all my old text books—figured they’d come in handy sooner or later—and I remembered the piece being in my anthology of American literature (The Norton Anthology, Vol. II, should you care). Most of you will recognize it as a poem written by Walt Whitman, one of the originals in a noble line of American writers and arguably, to this day, the most exuberant soul in that heritage. Whitman was a homosexual. A great, lusty bear of a homosexual. I didn’t know about this when I read his poetry 40-plus years ago. My American lit. professor probably knew, but he didn’t bring it up while discussing Whitman’s work. Even as wild as things were on college campuses in 1967, some roads were more prudently left untaken.

Once I had finished “When Lilacs ...,” and since I had the book out anyway, I went ahead and re-read all of the Whitman WWW. B OISEWEEKLY.C O M

material the anthology provided. “Leaves of Grass.” “Song of Myself.” “Crossing Brooklyn Ferry.” Twenty or 30 poems in all.

Somewhere during the re-reading, I realized it would have been helpful—crucial, even—to me as a 19-year-old kid to know Whitman was a homosexual. It would have added a depth of emotional texture to his poems I didn’t get, back in ’67. It would have expanded my understanding of an American giant and his own understanding of America, and it might even have germinated a tolerance that had yet to come to me, back in ’67.

I finished all of the available Whitman and decided to keep reading. After all, the Norton Anthology (third edition) is more than 1,700 pages of fine print. I’d only wiped the first layer of dust from the mirror.

I have to admit, I’d never had much use for Emily Dickinson. My memory of her was that she was a fussy old maid, picking over the smaller potatoes in rhyme. My shallow young mind marginalized her, poor lady. She in no way deserved the disdain some snotty student would hold for her some 100 years later. And now, having re-read Dickinson 40-some years later on, I hold a certain, unmistakable disdain for that snotty student. Now, having added those 40 years to my own experience, I can think of Emily not only as an exquisite songstress of the most fragile of human experiences, but I can remember she wasn’t even allowed to vote in her day. That she and every other woman of the age were considered less than fully realized and treated accordingly. Little wonder her poetry murmurs instead of bellows like Whitman’s.

Dickinson, Lanier, Harte, Joel Chandler Harris, and I kept reading. Ante-bellum, post-bellum, and then Samuel Clemens. Such a revisited treat was Samuel Clemens. “The Man Who Corrupted Hadleyburg.” Life of the Mississippi. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, in its entirety. It’s possible that you, at some point in your education, were assigned to read Huckleberry Finn. If you’re indigenous to Idaho and close to my age, it’s possible Jim was the first black man you got to know, fictionally or really. It’s possible that it was Jim who planted that first seed of racial awareness in your young skull. It’s even possible you supported—maybe even participated in—what King and Evers and those three boys in Mississippi died for, with Huck’s friend Jim whispering in your young ear.

I didn’t appreciate these possibilities until just this last year because I’d forgotten I’d ever read Huckleberry Finn. I knew about the river, I knew about the raft, I knew about Jim. But I’d forgotten what it was about. It was like I was seeing one of America’s most familiar landscapes for the first time.

And I was. Next week, in Part Two, I’ll explain how this could be.

BOISEweekly

| DECEMBER 16–22, 2009 | 5

TED RALL/OPINION

WE’RE STILL DOOMED The empty gesture of Copenhagen

NEW YORK—Our parents and grandparents fell down on the job.

“The politicians in Copenhagen have the power to shape history’s judgment on this generation: one that saw a challenge and rose to it, or one so stupid that we saw calamity coming but did nothing to avert it.” A concise summary of how the world sees this week’s United Nations climate change conference, courtesy of the editorial board of the United Kingdom newspaper The Guardian.

The paper continued: “In scientific journals, the question is no longer whether humans are to blame, but how little time we have got left to limit the damage,” wrote the Guardian’s editors. The implication is that time is short, that there’s still time to stave off environmental disaster.

“Quietly in public, loudly in private, climate scientists everywhere are saying the same thing: It’s over,” reported George Monblot in the Guardian from Copenhagen. “The years in which more than 2 degrees C [above average temperatures at the start of the Industrial Revolution] of global warming could have been prevented have passed, the opportunities squandered by denial and delay. On current trajectories, we’ll be lucky to get away with 4 degrees C. Mitigation [limiting greenhouse gas pollution] has failed; now we must adapt to what nature sends our way. If we can.”

Leading scientists like James Hansen say the maximum safe upper level for the concentration of CO2 particles in air is 350 parts per million. We’re currently at 387. According to a study recently cited in Time magazine, we could ban automobiles and the internal combustion engine and abolish all industrial

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production, worldwide, and it would still take at least 900 years for CO2 levels to drop back below the 350 ppm tipping point.

Ocean levels will rise an average of at least 6 to 16 feet by 2100. The northern half of Antarctica’s giant Wilkins ice shelf has begun breaking off; it will be gone within a few years. In the highest mountains in and around the Himalayas, millennia-old glaciers have vanished in the last decade, causing water shortages for hundreds of millions of people in the cities of China, Central and South Asia.

“People have imagined that if we stopped emitting carbon dioxide that the climate would go back to normal in 100 years or 200 years,” said Susan Solomon, a climate scientist with the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. “What we’re showing here is that’s not right. It’s essentially an irreversible change that will last for more than 1,000 years.”

The idyllic global climate that has prevailed for the last 10,000 years is changing. Catastrophe no longer looms, it’s upon us. For example, the polar ice cap is doomed. Summer ice will vanish within 20 years; winter ice will be gone by 2085. Nothing can be done to stop it. It doesn’t matter whether the United States and other countries reduce CO2 gas production by 30, 50 or 80 percent.

The ice sheets are going. Thousands of animal species will live in zoos or not at all. Giant storms will rage, famine will spread, drought will be ubiquitous.

It is almost certainly too late to save ourselves. Recycling and reducing CO2 output amounts to mere politeness. It’s a nice gesture.

But it won’t make any difference.

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NEWS/CITYDESK NEWS

HORSE RACING OFF TRACK New operator at odds with Boise horse owners ERIC LEINS did not get awarded the lease, and there is no ulterior motive going on here.”

Elison said he is willing to wait, too, especially since he can race his horses in places like Prescott, Ariz., for more money than he would make under an Idaho Entertainment contract.

insist they need—to prepare for live racing.

“The problem is Eric Spector is a businessman. His business is gaming. Our business is horses. He wants all the money and all the control,” said Elison.

Stubbs makes no apologies for business

LEILA RAMELLA-RADER

Depending on whom you ask, the prospects for horse racing at Idaho Downs (formerly Les Bois Park) are either slim to none or just a handshake away from becoming a reality.

But five months after Ada County awarded the rights to operate Boise’s racetrack to Idaho Entertainment, the company remains stuck in negotiations with a local horsemen’s group that must agree to a contract before the state can issue a license for live horse racing. The live-racing license is necessary to get a similar license for simulcast racing, so no racing events of any kind are figuring into the future of Idaho Downs any time soon.

In a November letter to the Idaho State Racing Commission, Idaho Entertainment president Eric Spector wrote that his company is “prudently seeking other forms of entertainment and uses of our facilities at Expo Idaho.”

Spector did not return phone calls from Boise Weekly, but according to Idaho Entertainment owner T. Pat Stubbs, the racetrack that has been home to horse racing since the 1970s could soon be used for concerts.

Horse owners are not happy with that plan.

“The lease does not provide for doing concerts. The county should consider Eric Spector to be in default of the lease. They should terminate the lease and invite others who are interested to step forward,” said Tim Elison, a member of the board of directors for the Idaho Horsemen’s Benevolent and Protective Association, the group that is negotiating with Idaho Entertainment.

If you talk to Elison, Idaho Entertainment and the Idaho HBPA remain far apart on reaching any agreement soon—23 contested issues away, to be exact. But for Stubbs, who says he remains committed to bringing live horse racing to Boise, the two parties “are far closer to an agreement than the HBPA wants to admit.”

“These are not people who are operating in good faith,” said Stubbs. “This is not an impasse. This is a flat out boycott.”

Stubbs calls it a boycott because he questions whether the HBPA has always had aims to work with an operator other than Idaho Entertainment. He points to a Boise Weekly article from June in which a member of the HBPA spoke about the Greene Group, a Coeur d’Alene-based racetrack operator, as the best solution for horsemen.

“We made a major error in our research,” said Stubbs. “We had no idea we’d be dealing with a boycott from day one.”

Tom Dougherty, the HBPA member who made the comment about the Greene Group in the June Boise Weekly, is adamant that there is no boycott at play.

“Idaho Entertainment’s assessment of that comment is completely false,” said Dougherty. “I was commenting on if the Greene Group was being awarded the lease, but they

The horse stalls at Idaho Downs, sans horses.

As far as the contract is concerned, Elison says a major sticking point is how the purse money gets divided between the Idaho HBPA and Idaho Entertainment. Essentially, out of every dollar bet, 80 cents goes back to winning bettors. The remaining 20 cents, called the take out, gets split between the horsemen and the operator. According to Elison, the specific percentages of the take out have been settled, but in the last contract put forth

by Idaho Entertainment, there was a caveat no horseman could live with—the take out would be on net revenue as opposed to gross revenue. This means that the horsemen’s share of the purse would be doled out to them minus a variety of Idaho Entertainment operating expenses.

“It’s like writing them a blank check,” Elison said, adding that across the country, horsemen can earn bottom purses of $2,300 to $2,400. But under an Idaho Entertainment contract, those purses would drop to about $1,000. “You can’t afford to stay in Boise for $1,000 purses,” he said.

The two parties also are at odds over the number of live racing days that would be held at Idaho Downs, as well as the number of training days the horsemen want—and

acumen, especially in a downturned economy where wagering is lackluster. He points out that Capitol Racing, the former racetrack operator in Boise, lost roughly $1 million in 2008.

Elison estimates that the absence of horse racing in Boise forfeits a positive $40 million economic impact on the Treasure Valley. It’s a figure that Ada County Commissioner Sharon Ullman wishes would bring more urgency to the negotiations. In her Nov. 13 blog post, Ullman offered to help mediate between the horsemen and the operator, but so far no one has taken her up on the offer, she said.

Ullman is critical of the state law, which she said requires the racetrack operator to negotiate a contract specifically with the Idaho HBPA and no other equine organization. She also expressed concern over the state requirement that there be 46 days of live racing at Idaho racetracks.

“To me, that’s a problem. That’s too much government regulation. These are business owners who need to operate their business,” Ullman said. “Maybe it’s time to look at the current code because I don’t know if horse racing in Idaho can work the way things stand now.”

DEMS FLOAT GUV CANDIDATE Idaho’s 2010 governor’s race, which was already shaping up to be a doozie, got a bit more interesting last week with the entry of a viable and surprising Democrat. Kieth Allred, who has spent the past half-decade building a bipartisan coalition of policy wonks across the state, signed on with Idaho Democrats to challenge Gov. C. L. “Butch” Otter—should he emerge from the May Republican primary.

Speaking of the primary, recall that Ada County Commissioner Sharon Ullman is seeking her party’s nomination and that Otter has not begun to campaign actively. Also in the GOP fray, jokester Pete Peterson, who tells citydesk he will stop campaigning after the New Year because people all over the world will have already downloaded his “PETE” yard signs.

A guy named Lee Chaney has said he’ll run as a Democrat, though his Web site does not portray him as one. But the race has also drawn independent contenders, primarily former GOP State Rep. Jana Kemp, actively campaigning for months now. But also now-perennial candidate and largeanimal veterinarian Rex Rammell, actively campaigning for years now. Oh, and ProLife—the man, not the issue.

Enter Allred, who has plenty of name and rep among Idaho’s political class, on both sides of the aisle. Allred is mainly an academic, who started his public speaking career at Twin Falls High School. He returns there this week to announce his candidacy.

Allred, who can claim academic appointments at Harvard, Oxford and ... Boise State, runs a group called The Common Interest, which produces consensus policy briefings on the issues of the day in Idaho.

The group’s research has even drawn praise from Otter, who called it, “a wellresearched, facts-based voice of reason,” adding that he may not always agree with the group’s conclusions.

So why is Allred running for governor, and why as a Democrat? In a letter to Common Interest supporters, Allred explained that Democratic talent searcher Betty Richardson came to him (and, of course, his wife) making it clear that they were not seeking an overtly partisan candidate.

“She assured us that her expectation was that I would campaign and govern just as I had led The Common Interest ... the party wanted to embrace that approach,” Allred said.

Allred believes in his process of making laws—gathering facts, discussing options and coming to consensus.

And he has designs on the Republic: “We realized that it would be the most powerful route available to advance the vision of making The Common Interest a potent force in all 50 states and at the federal level by the time of our nation’s 250th anniversary,” Allred continued in his letter.

—Nathaniel Hoffman Allred’s tight jeans.

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BOISEweekly

| DECEMBER 16–22, 2009 | 7

CITIZEN

JERMS LANNINGHAM Drawing out the citizen drawer TARA MORGAN

How long have you been illustrating for Citizen?

I think it started in 2006, I could be wrong. I’ve done so many of them; it’s just been a whirlwind ... I started with spot illustrations and then moved into Citizen Boise.

Had you illustrated from photographs before drawing Citizen?

In high school we did it a little bit; our art teacher would make us draw National Geographic things. And then there was this group of us in the back … some of us were drawing skulls and people with their heads cut off … We were the kids who probably weren’t going to succeed in life. But all those people I know that sat in that back area, they’re still creative ... Some of them own huge, fancy design firms.

Describe your illustration style.

I don’t think I’m all that terribly good at drawing people. I just draw them and then spin it enough until I think that they’re cool and sketchy and fun … I do them really fast, and if I don’t like them, I’ll do them really fast again … Drawing people realistically really isn’t my style, but it’s kind of become that. You keep your licks, so to speak …

Garfield, back in the day, he was this really chubby cat, then he kinda got skinny and

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then his head stayed big. So, I looked back through all my drawings—there was like 80 of them—and the style has changed a little bit.

What’s your process like, how do you tackle the photos?

I print it out on the printer and make them big or small. Then I put them on a light table and I blue line them out a little bit … Back in the day, if someone had a bigger nose or bigger ears or you wanted to accentuate a feature, you could do that.

You try to make them as cool-looking as possible—not too old—and if it’s a gal, you wanna make her look pretty. You don’t want to mess with people’s teeth. It’s a fine line because the very first one that I did was Margaret at Hollywood Market, and I drew her in my more caricature style. I guess some people got really torqued. She kind of has these little jowls, because she’s older, that hang down—laugh lines and jowls.

I just made her look kind of pissed and grumpy—she kind of is—so I added some character to her. [BW art director Leila Ramella-Rader] was like, “You can’t draw ladies like that anymore.”

What are some of the more difficult aspects of drawing people?

I think I have trouble doing people’s eyes and their laugh lines and their crow’s feet … sometimes people have big foreheads and you wanna fix stuff when you’re drawing because we want things to look pretty.

There’s some people that just aren’t all that pretty, but you have to draw them how they are. Some people have big noses, some people have big ears. So when you finish with some of these pieces, you’re just like, “That’s just how they are.”

JER EM Y LANNINGHAM

Jeremy “Jerms” Lanningham is a straightup nice dude. A graphic designer, illustrator, gallery curator, skateboarder, husband and father of two little girls, Lanningham leads a packed life. And for the last few years, he’s illustrated every Citizen that has graced the pages of Boise Weekly. This week, we decided to pull a Charlie Kaufman and turn the spotlight on him. What’s the story of the citizen behind the Citizen illustrations?

That’s a hard line to walk: making sure that you make people look their best while staying truthful to their actual attributes …

A lot of it depends on the photo, also. If the lighting is horrible and they’re wearing a hat, you can’t really see their eyes, you have to put shadows in. Different ethnicities—if someone’s African American or Hispanic or Native American—in a little black and white drawing, how do you do that? More hatch marks? But hatch marks make someone look old and then you have to accentuate the eyes a little bit more.

It seems like a lot of times you get to know just as much about the person by looking at your drawing as you do by reading the text.

Completely. It stops people and gets people’s attention, the way it’s placed on the page … So many people who have been interviewed do some really cool and moving things for people or the world in general or the environment … I’m just the guy that draws them.

How are you going to tackle your own Citizen drawing?

I might have my daughter Maya do it with a crayon. A big circle with ears … That might set her up for a similar life.

More Jerms at boiseweekly.com.

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TRUE CRIME/NEWS ‘ACTING CRAZY’ EARNS BOISE MAN TASER CHARGE The collision at Ninth and Main streets got called into Boise Police dispatch at about 11:45 p.m. on Dec. 10. Officers arrived shortly thereafter, but one of the drivers was nowhere to be found. Witnesses told the cops he had hotfooted it from the scene.

Officers searching the area caught sight of the suspect. He evidently caught sight of them, too, because he took off running. After a brief chase, cops cornered their man in an alley.

Our suspect tried to delay the inevitable by brandishing a broken glass bottle. After refusing to drop his weapon, the reluctant arrestee was introduced to Mr. Taser. Making this shocking acquaintance produced a calming effect on the 21-year-old Boise man. He was taken into custody without further ado.

Turns out the broken glass bottle had been the property of an area bar, where the accused fleeing driver had made a post-collision stop.

Witnesses and victims later told investigators that the suspect was “acting crazy” when he entered the watering hole on the 900 block of Main Street. During a confrontation with a bar employee, the man allegedly made direct threats and refused to allow the worker to leave the room.

Then the suspect retrieved a bottle of booze. He proceeded to break the bottle and use its jagged remains to make more threats, bar workers told police.

A struggle ensued. But the suspect escaped, taking the movie-cliche weapon with him, only to meet up with his destiny in that dark, cold alley.

All in all, the just-barely-legal man faces one felony charge—aggravated assault—along with five misdemeanors: second-degree kidnapping, malicious injur y to property, resisting

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and obstructing, driving under the influence and, last but not least, leaving the scene of an accident.

Speaking of which, officers determined the suspect may have been under the influence when the collision occurred, so he was also treated to a needle poke to draw blood for evidentiary testing.

What’s more, when Ada County Sheriff’s Office officials learned of his arrest, they took the opportunity to ser ve the young gentleman with an agent’s warrant for a probation violation.

Sounds like somebody just got crossed off Santa’s “nice” list.

PROPERTY OWNER FOILS BRAZEN MID-MORNING GRAND THEFT And this week’s BW Criminal Cojones Award goes to two Boise men in their mid-40s for thinking they could get away with grand theft in broad daylight.

The pair wound up behind bars after a property owner on the 5900 block of North Willow Cliff Way reported a theft in progress to Boise Police at about 10:30 a.m. on Dec. 9. He told officers he saw two suspects drive onto his property, back up to his motorcycle trailer—which just happened to contain the man’s motorcycle—hook it to their pickup and drive off.

Since they were more or less caught in the act by the eagle-eyed property owner, the two alleged bike heisters were still in the neighborhood when cops brought their misadventure to an end.

The stolen property was recovered and the pair was booked into the county clink on a felony grand-theft charge apiece. Without any broken bottles being waved about.

—Jay Vail

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| DECEMBER 16–22, 2009 | 9

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Why Self-Published Books Aren’t Quite the Next Best Thing

by Amy Atkins

4

hey tumble down the back of a 6-foot-tall bookshelf behind my desk at work. They cascade from the top of a 5-foot-tall bookcase in front of me. They line the shelves of a 14-foot built-in at home lovingly referred to as The Behemoth and are wedged between Ayn Rand, Charles Bukowski, an enviable collection of sci-ďŹ , old college texts and paperback copies of nearly every novel Jonathan Kellerman has written.

Their lack of correct syntax and grammar, their abundance of exclamation points and their disregard for continuity make them embarrassing cousins sitting among their brethren. But for the past few years, I’ve ipped through them, sure that hidden somewhere amid the stacks, the muddy paragraphs and convoluted plot lines is a gem. And while occasionally I come across one I’m able to ďŹ nish, to date, the diamonds in the rough remain buried. They are self-published books.

I read so many of them—especially the ones by local authors—because I fear that if I give in to my desire to throw the whole lot in a recycling bin, I’ll miss one so fabulous that it will shoot up the bestseller list and I’ll be left at the bottom staring at the review copy I never cracked open. So I soldier on.

I’ve read about a guy who narrates the story of his past life as a Macedonian warrior who is married to Nefertiti, ďŹ ghts alongside Alexander the Great and is the only straight man in all of Greece. I’ve read about a killer Santa who terrorizes his village of elves. I’ve read about a group of narcissistic hipsters dying mysteriously. I’ve read a few romance novels and semi-autobiographical accounts of life in gay porn in which the characters’ sexual exploits are always relayed in euphemistically owery language. I’ve read maudlin memoirs, pointless poetry and horrible horror. With each turning page of these self-published novels, I’m a little less sure of ďŹ nding the one that shines.

The problem isn’t always the stories.

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As a matter of fact, the ideas contained within the books are often novel—as in new, interesting. The problem is that by the time I get around misspellings, confusing grammar and things like characters’ names changing or swapping mid-story, I’m as lost as a kitten in a corn maze. One good edit by someone these authors trust—and someone who is willing to tell them the cold, hard truth—could have saved these books from the box marked “take to thrift store.�

Middleton author Benjamin Sheppard is one such author. He’s a guy with a story to tell and, not unlike a musician who records his own CD, saw self-publishing through Publish America as the quickest way to get his books out there. But in his quest to see his words in print, his 2007 The South Castor Project and 2009’s The History of the Twill Massacre fell prey to issues of continuity, punctuation and grammar, making his books cumbersome reads.

In The History of the Twill Massacre, character names are switched, ashbacks reveal dates that don’t coincide with earlier passages and anachronistic language is distracting. Sheppard said he didn’t even realize how bad the problems were until after he’d ordered several copies printed. “[Publish America’s] performance as far as editing was terrible,â€? Sheppard said. “The editing they said they did ‌ I re-read it after it was published and it was terrible.â€?

Sheppard is a ďŹ ne example of why, however obvious it may seem, an author really does have to be involved in all aspects of publishing his or her book. Sheppard is currently working on a third book, a story about a vigilante with psychological problems who speaks directly to the reader.

Sheppard said his ďŹ rst expense toward the new book will be paying an editor.

Laura Delaney, owner of Rediscovered Bookshop, carries self-published books written by local authors in her store. She also offers a number of workshops for genre writers (mystery, children’s books,

non-ďŹ ction) who think they want to go that direction. She warns that new and/ or unknown authors have to be extremely vigilant when navigating the world of publishing. Different options are available, and authors need to understand why one way may work better for them than another.

Beyond traditional publishers at one end of the spectrum (an author gets an agent, sells the rights to the book and receives royalties) and self-publishing or “vanity press� at the other (the costs and the marketing are all the responsibility of the author), authors can look to a small press or even a micro press to get a book published.

A small press usually releases 15 to 100 titles per year. They have an in-house edit staff and often focus on specialty books: cookbooks, children’s books, romances. A micro press is also more likely to focus on a niche market like poetry, and will put out no more than 10 titles per year and sometimes only one or two. They are often run by people who started out self-publishing, and then found other authors they wanted to work with and wanted to help avoid the pitfalls they fell in when self-publishing.

Self-publishing a novel sounds like the way to go for an unknown author. And in some ways, it is. The author is solely responsible for his or her product from start to ďŹ nish. A self-publishing author doesn’t need an agent, doesn’t need approval—even the blurb on the back or inside of the book jacket is totally at the author’s discretion. And while they can pay for extras like editing and graphic design, ultimately, they simply send a digital ďŹ le off to a self-publisher, pay for however many copies they want (or is in the contract) and a few weeks later, receive a box of their book in the mail. The beneďŹ t of publishing this way is that if any copies are sold, the author pockets all the proďŹ t.

That sounds appealing until you consider that “proďŹ tâ€? is only what authors get after they’ve recouped printing costs.

That’s only going to happen if they sell

enough copies. And that’s only going to happen if the price is set low enough and anyone even knows the book is out there.

Self-publishing presses often promise to help with all of those details, but the responsibility ultimately lies with the author.

Google “self-publishing� and thousands of Web sites pop up with links to how-to sites as well as sites full of what-not-do-do information. The Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America has a lengthy section titled Writer Beware, which includes ways to avoid self-publishing scams and reminders about how important it is to be involved in every aspect of self-publishing. “If you’re looking at going with a commercial DIY publisher, be extraordinarily careful and always do your own research,�

Delaney agreed.

One particular element to keep close watch on is fees. And one fee that deďŹ nitely falls in the “you get what you pay forâ€? category is the cost of an editor. An English professor once explained, “Punctuation is everything and nothing.â€? If it’s done right, no one notices and even a bad story is at least readable. If it’s done wrong, the most brilliant piece becomes mired in stuttered phrasing or an inability to distinguish what dialogue belongs to what character. A good copy editor can ďŹ x an author’s bad punctuation and grammar; a good editor can help turn an OK book into a great one.

But even if an author has done all the right research, paid all the right fees and made sure semicolons have been used instead of commas where necessary, selfpublishing has a kind of stigma attached to it. Although bookstore shelves are full of unrecognizable imprints nowadays, seeing one from a vanity press can be off-putting for some readers. The vanity implies that the author didn’t have what it takes to really get published.

Boise author Aaron Patterson understands that and self-published his ďŹ rst two books anyway. His debut novel, Sweet Dreams, has done surprisingly well. Since publishing in 2008, he’s sold

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LAU R IE PEAR M AN

Sitting among the stacks, Martin Shepard just keeps on pushing new books over the Borderline..

around 400 physical copies and more than 3,000 through Amazon’s Kindle. He even won third place in Boise Weekly’s Best of Boise for Best Local Author. Though only recently available, Patterson’s 2009 followup, Dream On, has already sold about 250 copies. In his opinion, self-publishing was the only way to get his books published.

“Right now, you can’t submit to a traditional house because they don’t take submissions unless it’s from an approved author or through an agent,” Patterson said. “And then agents aren’t taking submissions because they’re out headhunting.

It’s kind of like sports. [Agents] wait until people get self-published and then if they start to do well, the agents approach them with a deal.”

Patterson, a rather entrepreneurial chap, decided the best way to follow the path to a traditional publisher, and at the same time avoid the stigma associated with a vanity press imprint, would be to start his own press. So he founded Borderline Publishing.

He teamed up with local business owner Martin Shepard of Treasure Valley Digital Printing. Shepard brought printing experience and equipment to the table and Patterson brought a year’s worth of research into publishing, as well as his own books. What he didn’t have was money. So he stepped back from a partnership role and instead printed his books through Borderline.

Seated at a conference table in Borderline’s 11,000-square-foot offices near the mall, Shepard explained how he moved from printing brochures and business cards to printing books. And why it didn’t work.

“Borderline started about a year ago on a whim,” Shepard said. “Through Treasure Valley Digital, we would get requests to print books. Then someone asked, ‘Do you do anything else with the books?’” as in offering other services like editing and marketing. Those questions started Shepard thinking. He looked into what would be involved in taking the books a step further and decided it was something he could do.

So they jumped in feet first.

“And we fell flat on our face,” he said.

“It’s a very complicated industry.”

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Shepard put a hold on operations, spent six months getting into the nitty gritty of the publishing world, and officially reopened Borderline about six months ago.

Currently in what Shepard likes to call “construction mode,” Borderline’s cavernous production/warehouse space is full of books in every stage of publication. Piles of guts—a book’s printed pages before they’re cut and bound—stacks of glossy covers and hundreds of cartons ready to be shipped to distributors sit amid the machines that get them ready for those boxes: cutting machines, printers, a machine that does nothing but score and fold covers, machines that glue those covers on. Borderline has about 10 people on staff—including an editor—and publishes about 50 titles by 40 or so authors, growing at the rate of three to five authors per week. Shepard plans to cap the number of authors he publishes at 500; he expects to reach that number by the end of 2010.

Although Shepard prefers the term “short-run publisher,” Borderline is technically a vanity press. Unless the material is what Shepard deems offensive—pornography—anyone can send Borderline a manuscript, pay the fees and get it published.

But unlike print-on-demand publishers (like Publish America or Lulu), from whom an author can order one or two copies printed at a time—a prohibitively expensive process—or traditional publishing in which the press owns the rights to a manuscript, Borderline usually prints 500-1,000 copies and tests the market. They don’t just print it and forget it.

“We beta test the books. We use the same distribution circles everyone else uses.

We market the books to see if they’re going to be a viable product,” Shepard said.

“Most of our books have been successes.”

The support from that statement comes from sales, reviews and feedback from people who buy and read the books. Borderline actually chases down that marketing information because, unlike a standard vanity press, they don’t want to push a book that isn’t going anywhere.

Along with following the numbers trail,

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about a guy and his dog. Even upon waking, I didn’t remember the whole dream, but I vividly remembered the guy—lanky, mid’30s, rather morose. And I remembered the dog just as clearly—little, black and brown, bouncy, ugly and named Niko (I have no idea where that came from). And somehow I knew that the guy, who was walking the little dog near a fountain in a large courtyard, didn’t like the dog and looked after it only because he didn’t have the energy to do anything else with it.

I started writing a novel about the guy, a

banker I named Jerry, and Niko. Jerry’s wife has left him for his podiatrist, and during Jerry and Niko’s regular morning walk, Jerry meets Penny, a rumpled, exasperating but sweet dog washer and her St. Bernard, who both soon work their way into Jerry’s life.

From the day I started writing about Niko and Jerry, I imagined sending a manuscript off to Random House or Harper Collins, who would, of course, accept it.

My novel would sport some kind of gorgeous and intriguing art on the cover and be available on store shelves all over the world.

LAU R IE PEAR M AN

offering in-house editing and graphic design services and an open-door policy for authors, Borderline offers another rather special service: Shepard reads every book that crosses Borderline’s threshold. It’s the kind of personal attention that an author isn’t likely to find through another vanity press and only people like Stephen King and Nora Roberts probably receive at traditional publishing houses.

“What I like about [Borderline] is, unlike Publish America, when you get the proof, you can walk into their office and talk to a real person,” Delaney said. “That is their biggest advantage. “ But with few exceptions—Burny Wells’ Boise Boys, a fictionalized account of this city’s homosexual witch hunts in the ’50s, and Jay McCall’s Christian kids’ book, Jeremiah’s Angel—the two things most self-published books have in common is the glaring absence of an editor’s fingerprint and the sad realization that so many of these writers didn’t do enough of their own editing legwork. Or hire someone credible to do it for them.

Patterson hit the proverbial nail on the head: “The problem with self-publishing is there’s no one standing back saying, ‘This is crap.’ You can write anything you want and get it published. And in the end, that can be a detriment,” Patterson said. But even he fell victim to a lack of oversight: In early printings of Dream On, the word “character” is spelled “charter.” On the title page.

Five or six years ago, I had a dream

I would spend my days promoting it on the talk show circuit, laughing with Ellen and Oprah and Matt Lauer over funny anecdotes about my next book.

About 20 pages into the next Great American Novel, I realized I was re-writing Ann Tyler’s Accidental Tourist (actually, I was re-writing the 1988 film adaptation that starred William Hurt and Geena Davis). I also realized that was the least of my problems.

Having a book published by a large press is the exception, not the rule, and it’s one most authors will never realize. One of my biggest decisions is not what line to give Penny that makes Jerry fall head over heels in love with her. It’s where do I go once my book is done?

Do I hire an agent and hope, like millions of other authors, that she knows people who know people and gets my book into the right hands? Or do I self-publish and hope that I can get enough traction through social media, conferences, book signings and book tours that I catch the attention of a traditional publisher?

For now, all of those points are moot.

Jerry and Niko are stuck on page 32 and won’t move on to page 33 until after the holidays, when I can clear the docket for a few days and get them moving along.

What I do know is that if I decide to go the self-publishing route, I have more than a few options available to me, even locally. I also know that even though I am one myself, I will set my ego aside and hand my book over to an editor.

Aaron Patterson has Sweet Dreams about his next novel: it’s geared toward teens.

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BOISE ARMY/NAVY

BOISE ART GLASS

Just call this place stocking-stuffer central. Seriously, get all your shopping done here in one place, from the big stuff to stocking stuff, big kids to little kids. We found a cool marshmallow-roasting tree for our camping crazy nephew that puts that old-school stick to shame. Cap guns and airsoft guns and boomerangs, too. Got campers, hikers or river runners on your list? How about a Pelican Box? They’re waterproof and guaranteed (“You break it, we replace it ... forever.”) and come in a variety of sizes from small for sunglasses and change, to the big 20-inch by 20-inch by 20-inch, with lots of in-between sizes for camera equipment or whatever you want to keep bone dr y. There’s also a huge selection of Dutch ovens, hats, watchcaps, raccoon tail caps, sailor caps, Civil War caps. And more, more, more. 4924 Chinden Blvd., Garden City, 208-322-0660.

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Blow your friends and family away with a gift from Boise Art Glass. Choose from work by a dozen local artists, each with his or her own, unique style. And there’s a wide variety, too, from beautiful and delicate Christmas ornaments to magnets, figurines, wine glasses and delightfully gorgeous jellyfish lights to jawdropping chandeliers. “You’ll find something unique here that you won’t find at the mall,” said Filip Vogelpohl, owner and glass artist. And you’ll support local artists, which supports the community, to boot. Double bonus. Prices range from $5 to $6,000. Handblown Christmas ornaments and wine glass gift baskets are popular holiday items, or for a different Christmas gift, Boise Art Glass also offers classes in lampworking. Gift certificates are available. 530 W. Myrtle, 208-345-1825, boiseartglass.com.

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BOGUS BASIN Sure, we love the exhilaration of a day of downhill skiing or boarding. But sometimes we like to point our tips out across a bit flatter ground. That’s why we like the Nordic Center at Frontier Point: 37 kilometers of groomed trails create a hushed, winter wonderland, Zen experience—no granola necessary. For occasional skiers or out of towners, it’s tres affordable, and for Bogus Basin season pass holders, it’s free. The lodge has seating and eating upstairs by a fireplace, and what a view. You can get classic and skate skis, as well as snowshoe rentals, and be sure to check out the waxing bench. There also are lessons available and programs for kids ages 5 and older. The Learn to Nordic Ski program includes a group lesson, equipment rental and a trail pass.

Other ski programs are available, and watch for special events like the popular Full Moon Family Friday Nights when you get to ski under the full moon, with music and a meal.

2600 Bogus Basin Road, 208-332-5162, bogusbasin.org.

DK M PHOTOGRAPHY

IDAHO SHAKESPEARE FESTIVAL “The course of true love never did run smooth,” quoth Lysander in A Midsummer Night’s Dream.

The Shakespeare classic will open the 2010 season of Idaho Shakespeare Festival, which runs June through October. In this version directed by Charles Fee, the raucous romp of a midsummer night’s madness is boldly inspired by the mod 1960s London. Another Shakespeare classic, Othello, is also on the bill, as well as more diverse and eclectic offerings like Bat Boy: The Musical, The Woman in Black and Oscar Wilde’s An Ideal Husband. Don’t miss a single show. Early-bird tip: If you buy your tickets now, you’ll save big—up to 37 percent. Gift certificates make perfect Christmas gifts and stocking stuffers. For more information, call or visit the Web site. 5657 Warm Springs Ave., 208-336-9221, idahoshakespeare.org.

ART FOR ART We like how the name of this holiday shop says exactly what it is. Art for Art is a local artist co-op that not only has a gift for everyone on your list—it also puts 5 percent back into the youth arts community to foster the arts. It is located in Vista Village (next to Reilly’s) and is stuffed to the rafters with beautiful, unique art. You’ll find special gifts and one-of-a-kind stocking stuffers for everyone on your list, from $3 and up. Choose from ReRides bags, purses and wallets (made from recycled inner tubes), Christmas ornaments, belts with lamp-worked buckles, perfumes, lip balm, lotions and potions, mosaic busts and mirrors, calendars, handmade stockings ready to stuff, restored vintage ceiling tiles, photography, pottery, paintings, framed origami, light switch covers, jewelry and more. You also will find tulle tutus in a rainbow of colors for the little ballerina on your list. Store hours: noon to 5 p.m. Wednesday-Saturday. 1002 Vista Ave., 208-4402412, art4artidaho.blogspot.com.

THE BASQUE MARKET Stop in at The Basque Market on your downtown shopping trip for a hit-the-spot sandwich and some homemade soup. While you’re there, you can get the rest of your shopping done.

Gourmet foodies on your list? Choose from threads of delicate saffron and other imported spices, decadent chocolates and candies, canned snails, octopus and squid in ink, or how about a bottle of unique imported olive oil?

There are also great cookbooks. And pick up a tasty treat or side—or two, or three—from the market’s holiday pickup menu. Choose from appetizer tapas trays to a variety of holiday side dishes, including roasted garlic smashed potatoes, silky smooth Eiguren potatoes, chorizo dressing, lamb stew, Manchego potatoes, sheepherder’s bread, pears poached in red wine and pumpkin flan. There’s also a huge selection of imported meats and cheeses and “probably the largest selection of Spanish wines in the Northwest,” said co-owner Tara McElhose-Eiguren. Gift certificates for cooking classes or gift items make great stocking stuffers, too. 608 W. Grove St., 208-433-1208, thebasquemarket.com.

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JOYRIDE CYCLE We used to think going for a joyride involved cops, mayhem and driving another person’s car.

Now we know there’s a different kind of joyride and it’s as easy and fun as riding a bike. Joyride Cycle is serious about bicycles. “We build custom commuter bikes,” said owner Philip Vega. But they have just about any and everything else bike lovers love, too. Accessories include Co2 inflators, tire levers, pumps, safety lights, locks, bags, sealants and fenders. They also have special bike wear to keep you warm during frigid morning commutes: head-, arm- and knee-warmers, merino wool socks, hoodies, riding jerseys and base layers. They sell Swobo caps and scarves billed as “environmentally sane apparel,” and the absolutely coolest sunglasses with built-in MP3 player and speakers. One more reason to shop there: Joyride sells custom coffee from Dawson Taylor by the pound and 100 percent of the proceeds go to the Idaho Velodrome and Cycling Park in Eagle. Stop, shop, sip free coffee samples and get a free Joyride T-shirt when you spend more than $75. 1306 Alturas in Hyde Park, 866-426-9058, joyride-cycles.com.

EDWARDS GREENHOUSE We know Edwards is the place we love to roam for flowers, shrubs, trees and more in the spring and summer months, and we go there often. But going to Edwards during the holidays is nothing less than magical. We’ve never seen so many gorgeous poinsettias in so many dazzling reds, muted pinks and, yes, even white and wondrous green. From dainty individual poinsettias to spectacular bushes, you can take your pick. The Florist at Edwards has fabulous holiday arrangements and holiday baskets to make that special occasion even more special. Edwards is open holiday hours including Sundays through Christmas (check the Web site). Bring the little ones to see Santa on Saturday, Dec. 19, from noon-3 p.m. 4106 Sand Creek St., 208342-7548, edwardsgreenhouse.com.

SIERRA TRADING POST All we want for Christmas is a pair of boots that will keep us toasty warm and keep us looking fine, and we found just the ticket at Sierra Trading Post. These Sorel Northern Lite boots for women are waterproof, seam-sealed and insulated with Thinsulate for outstanding performance in cold, wet conditions. The waterproof suede uppers keep you looking good, and the insulation that keeps you warm isn’t bulky. The boots are comfort rated to minus-25 degrees, are padded with a soft synthetic lining and have removable, EVA comfort foot beds, thermal rubber outsoles to help keep cold from penetrating and multi-directional rubber lug outsoles for great traction. The boots were inspired by traditional Arctic footwear and are medium in width. But here’s a tip: These boots tend to run small so order a half-size larger for a good fit. And, with STP’s low prices, you save 35 to 70 percent off the regular retail price. 530 E. Sonata Lane, Meridian, 208-898-0261, sierratradingpost.com.

J’S ULTIMATE CAR WASH Hey, Rudolph, how did you get your nose so shiny? He must have dropped by J’s Ultimate Car Wash for some of their buffing secrets. It’s the only hand car wash in town. “We’re very big on quality control,” said owner Jason Smullin. “All our employees are trained to cater to the customer.” Besides a variety of custom and holiday special car wash selections, J’s has a full range of detailing services, including scratch removal and Swirl-Free three-step polish. Would you like your wheel wells cleaned and painted black? No problem. Other detail services include steam cleaning for all carpets, interior vinyl and leather, mats and upholstery, including all nooks and crannies; engine steam cleaning, and “we can even do some stain removal,” Smullin said.

All services guaranteed. “We’ll make it right or give you your money back.” 3756 Chinden Blvd., 208336-0435, ultimatehandcarwash.com.

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IDAHO HOUSE OF SCOOTERS Go Broncos! Give that Broncomaniac on your list a gift that will make his jaw drop and eyes pop: a scooter of his choice from Idaho House of Scooters decked out in Boise State blue and orange, the only officially licensed and Boise State-sanctioned vehicle available for the road today. With the store’s year-end closeout, you can get a brand new Vespa for $1,000 below normal cost, and the Bronco treatment is a mere $600 more than the scooter sticker price. “We have one of the best selections of scooters in the Treasure Valley ready to go,” manager Justin Daniels said. In addition to its lines of traditional scooters, IHS offers all-electric Vectrix scooters, Piaggio’s MP3 three-wheeled scooters (two wheels in front, one in back) and a selection of pre-owned scooters. Still not sure if a scooter is right for you? Go online and check out the fuel calculator to see how much you’ll save. 2374 E. Cinema Drive, No. 104, Meridian, 208-898-0818, idahohouseofscooters.com.

BOGUS BASIN Bogus Basin isn’t only about skiing. Or snowboarding. Or cross-country skiing. Or tubing. C’mon, this isn’t a head-scratcher—Bogus also is a great place to snowshoe. You can bring your own or rent snowshoes at the Nordic Center at Frontier Point (make sure to wear boots or snowboots). Then, for a nominal fee ($5 tops), you can do like Nancy Sinatra says, and start walkin’.

Cool names like Billy Goat Trail and North Mountain Goat Trail make us want to strap those snowshoes on and go. All trails are marked with colored blazes (some allow for off-trail exploring) and as long as you follow the “snowshoe etiquette” you can hike to your heart’s content. And just think of all those holiday calories that will be melting away with every step. 2600 Bogus Basin Road, 208-332-5162, bogusbasin.org.

IDAHO POWER Give ’em the gift of power. For that handyman or handywoman on your list, consider giving power tools with ENERGY STAR-qualified battery chargers, which means that they are the most efficient available. The Environmental Protection Agency now qualifies products with popular brand names such as Black and Decker, Makita and Bosch. You can also choose from a number of other ENERGY STAR-qualified gifts including appliances—washing machines, dishwashers, refrigerators—and decorative lighting. Bonus: Idaho Power offers cash incentives (that’s money back in your pocket) for qualified purchases on ENERGY STAR-qualified washers, refrigerators, ceiling fans with lights, ceiling fan light kits and light fixtures. Besides getting the cash, your home will be greener and you may see a decrease in your power bills to boot. For a complete list of products that qualify for an incentive and other program details, go to the Idaho Power Web site, idahopower.com/homeproducts.

THE PAUL GREEN SCHOOL OF ROCK MUSIC Give your little rocker a gift that will last a lifetime: music. “Saving rock and roll, one kid at a time,” is the Paul Green School of Rock Music motto. The school runs in a series of three seasons, with each season culminating with a show.

Included with the price of monthly tuition are weekly, 45-minute private lessons in the instrument of the student’s choice. Additionally, there are three-hour, supervised rehearsals held weekly to prepare students for the main event, The Show!

Shows center on a theme, and the students spend time delving into the catalogs of artists, styles and periods of rock such as Van Halen (David Lee Roth era, of course), AC/ DC, best of the ’80s, punk rock, Devo, Frank Zappa, Queen and many more. Also, professional, touring musicians come to the school and meet, talk with, and, most importantly jam with the student musicians. But hurry, anyone who enrolls before Thursday, Dec. 31, gets three months enrollment for the price of two. Lessons start the week of Jan. 4, 2010. Schedule a free trial lesson and select a show today. For more information call or visit the Web site. 539 S. Fitness Place, Eagle, 208-639-2242, schoolofrock.com/boise.

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THINK BOISE FIRST Do you feel the anxiety of holiday shopping? Have you shopped until you’ve dropped but not found what you were looking for? Take a deep breath. Everything is going to be all right. All you have to do is Think Boise First. That’s right, you can get everyone on your list a Think Boise First coupon book.

It’s crammed with more than $3,500-worth of offers but it only costs $10. All your friends and family members will think you’re the greatest, and you can feel good about supporting your local community. And while you’re at it, pick up a TBF T-shirt, too. They’re only $20. And there’s a new sustainable kid in town: Think Nampa First. Pass it on. Get your coupon books and T-shirts at the TBF office or call for more locations. 210 N. Sixth St., 208-424-6665, thinkboisefirst.org, thinknampafirst.org.

DOWNTOWN NAMPA ASSOCIATION Do we love to go shopping in funky downtown Nampa?

Oh, yeah. We can spend hours browsing through the Old Towne Mall and Coffeehouse or Village Square Antiques for collectibles and antiques, from toys to furniture. Or how about The White Pine Boutique, a clothing and more store with an Earth-friendly focus featuring local designers and way cool TOMS shoes (for every pair of shoes you buy, TOMS donates a pair to kids in need). We always stop in at the Brass Razoo for new and awesome and kicky embellished recycled clothing and jewelry. And Puffy Mondaes, a place for fiber arts, is simply the bomb. It’s all fair-trade or local artwork, and will blow your mind. It has raw wools, patterns, spinning wheels and a pottery wheel. You can take classes or give a gift certificate for a variety of classes: watercolor, oil painting, pottery, art doll making, knitting, journal making, sewing, lamp making, basket weaving, rug hooking, mosaics, kids classes and more. Plus, you can come in and sit and knit or whatever. It’s a community place. Get more details at downtownnampa.com.

NEWT & HAROLD’S Shredders, are you ready for ’stache sickle season? If not, get to Newt & Harold’s, stat. Rider-owned and operated, Newt & Harold’s is the place to go for all of your snowboard, skateboard and inline skate needs.

They have a huge selection of snowboards, boots, bindings and skateboard products and more than 150 years riding experience (collectively speaking). Lease, rent and get your snowboards repaired here, plus expert boot fitting is guaranteed. What, you want more? How about board duds? Look no further, you’ll find it all here. Psst, wanna get a gift or stocking stuffer he’ll love you forever for? Think Skullcandy headphones for $39.99. They make a great gift for anyone who likes to listen and ride. 2009 BW Best of Boise Best Local Board Shop. 1021 S. Broadway, 208-385-9300, newtandharolds.com.

FLOATING FEATHER DAY SPA If the thought of going shopping for one more present is giving you stressed-out stiff neck syndrome, stop. It’s time to take a deep, calming breath and march right down to Floating Feather Day Spa for the ahh-some, relaxing, soothing break you deserve and need. A little FF pampering and TLC by their spa therapists with inspirational and oh-so-tempting treatments will ease the effects of environmental damage, fatigue and holiday stress on your skin and body. Gift certificates can be purchased at the spa, online or by telephone. Bonus: Say you saw this in Boise Weekly when you buy a gift certificate for $50 or more, and you’ll receive a $5 gift card for yourself. After all, don’t you deserve a present, too? 602 W. Idaho, 208-424-5153, floating-feather.com.

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It’s one of our quintessential Idaho experiences: Idaho Shakespeare Festival. Watch the stars on a stage under the stars in the heavens in an enchanting woodland theater. Arrive early for pre-show antics performed by the awardwinning Fool Squad: Joe Conley Golden and Tom Willmorth. Then, after a few thigh-slappers, settle in with gourmet food and drink from Cafe Shakespeare or spread your own picnic on the lawn as the live action spreads out before your very eyes. Bring the clan for Family Nights, the first Sunday after a play’s opening, when you can bring young children at discounted prices (children younger than 6 get in for free). Idaho Shakespeare Festival’s 34th season promises to be the best one yet. Get your tickets before Dec. 31 for big savings and the perfect seats. Tickets and gift certificates make great Christmas gifts and stocking stuffers.

For more information, call or visit the Web site. 5657 Warm Springs Ave., 208-336-9221, idahoshakespeare.org.

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IDAHO SHAKESPEARE FESTIVAL

IDAHO POWER Crank it up. If someone on your list wants a flashlight, think out of the battery box. Hand-crank flashlights and radios are powered by turning handles attached to the casings. Some products also operate on a second source of power, either a solar panel or a rechargeable battery. They always work, and there are no batteries to get rid of. Plus, some come with a transparent housing, so you can even see how the spring mechanism works. While Idaho Power does not endorse a particular brand, Freeplay’s Self-Sufficient Energy technology is a good example. Freeplay combines wind-up, solar and rechargeable power for unique, portable, consumer electronic products replacing conventional batterypowered systems that are wasteful and costly. With wind-up, solar and rechargeable batteries, you’re powered wherever you go. For more energy efficiency tips, go to the Idaho Power Web site, idahopower.com and click on Energy Efficiency.

BREWFORIA Looking for a brewtastic gift for your brewski-loving buddy?

We bet you’ll find it at Brewforia.

“We’re Boise’s only specialty beer store with more than 200 specialty beers from all over the world,” owner Rick Boyd said.

We believe him, with names on the shelves like Colorado’s Great Divide, New York’s Ommegang, Maine’s Allagash, Elysian from Washington and Shiner Bock from Texas. And that’s just barely getting started. For orders of more than $15, you get free delivery anywhere in the Treasure Valley, including kegs. Stop in the store for beer tastings. Brewforia also does private dinners, functions and corporate gigs. 435 N. Milwaukee St., 888-334-2337, brewforia.com.

HIGHLANDS HOLLOW “Sometime you want to go where everybody knows your name ...” No, Highlands Hollow Brewhouse isn’t exactly Cheers, but it is one of those places tucked away in a quiet neighborhood where everybody loves to go. It’s conveniently located on the road to Bogus Basin and is a favorite place for skiers and boarders to meet for before- and apres-ski food and drink.

Great burgers and sandwiches are complemented by handcut fries, and the menu includes fresh salads, soups, pastas, entrees, desserts and more. And with a brewery on the premises, the handcrafted ales—including Fiegwild, Spoon Tongue and Hippie Shake—are some of the best in the Northwest. The Hollow has happy hour from 3-6 p.m. daily, lunch and dinner specials, and live music from 6-9 p.m. on Wednesdays. Pick up a growler to go. Kegs are available for holiday parties (advance notice required). Gift cards make great stocking stuffers. Check out their other merch, including T-shirts, pints and portable doggie water bowls. 2455 Harrison Hollow Lane, 208-343-6820, highlandshollow.com.

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SIERRA TRADING POST “I feel like I could walk forever,” said Paul. Jenn, walking right behind him on the trail, smiled a secret smile to herself. She was happy she had found the Asolo Hiking Boots from the FSN collection. She’d heard that they were ultra-durable and water-resistant and can handle almost any trail on the map. But what really sealed the deal was when she heard the Asolo FSN collection were named Backpacker’s Magazine‘s “best backpacking boot.” Jenn was also glad she’d gotten her second wind—she knew Paul was ready for a long hike, and she wanted to keep up. Asolo Hiking Boots FSN 85 have suede uppers and a breathable interior for dry, blister-free comfort, rubbermac outsoles that grip rocks and roots with ease, padded collars and gusseted tongues to keep debris out. And, as always, Sierra Trading Post’s everyday price is always 35 to 70 percent less than retail.

530 E. Sonata Lane, Meridian, 208-898-0261, sierratradingpost.com.

THINK BOISE FIRST We think it makes sense to Think Boise First. After all, there’s so much to think about. In fact, practically anything we could ever want we can get right here in our own back yard. To make it even easier, Think Boise First has a fantastic coupon book that tells you where you can get great deals on gifts, food and more, all right here in Boise. It is stuffed with more than $3,500 worth of offers but it only costs $10. Get one—or get one for all your friends and family. It’s one of those win-win-win situations. You save money, support local businesses and pay it forward. Think local, shop local, buy local. This holiday season, do your part and “get it local.” 210 N. Sixth St., 208-424-6665, thinkboisefirst.org.

J’S ULTIMATE CAR WASH Keep your car twinkling like a shining star this holiday season—go to J’s Ultimate Car Wash for a hands-on experience like you and your car have never had before. “Our slogan is, ‘we baby your baby,’” said owner Jason Smullin. It’s a totally brush- and equipment-free hand car wash. And while you’re waiting, take advantage of the free wireless Internet service, or read Boise Weekly or watch the news on J’s high-def TV while sipping a complimentary cup of coffee. All services are guaranteed, plus you’ll get your car cleaned in record time. The $14.99 full-service car wash, inside and out takes 15 minutes or less. The $6.99 outside-wash and towel-dry service will get you in and out in eight minutes or less. Holiday specials: Buy four full-service car washes (inside and out) and get two free, or buy six outside-only washes for just $30. 3756 Chinden Blvd., 208-336-0435, ultimatehandcarwash.com.

IDAHO HOUSE OF SCOOTERS Put a scooter under the tree with a great big bow. No wrapping paper necessary. Thanks to Idaho House of Scooter’s year-end closeout sale, you can afford it. Brand new Vespas are available until 2010 for $1,000 below normal cost (in-house financing starts at 4.9 percent). Plus, there is a huge selection of scooter paraphernalia, helmets—the oh-so-patriotic “stars and bars” helmet will make you feel Easy Rider-cool. They also have jackets, helmet speakers that plug right into your MP3 player and more. Check out the signal cycler and you’ll never get stuck at the red light again. Stocking stuffers start at $5. IHS also offers part support and tech advice on vintage scooters and most brands of scooters, plus free service pickup and delivery throughout the Treasure Valley.

2374 E. Cinema Drive, No. 104, Meridian, 208-898-0818, idahohouseofscooters.com.

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THE PAUL GREEN SCHOOL OF ROCK MUSIC Forget that guitar-playing game, it’s just pretend.

Give your little rock ’n‘ roller the gift of real music.

The Paul Green School of Rock Music is the nation’s premier performance-based rock music program. (It was the inspiration for the movie starring Jack Black.)

Students from ages 7 to 18 learn how to play the instrument of their choice and then are turned into genuine rock stars. Through private lessons and weekly three-hour supervised rehearsals, they get prepared for the main event, The Show! Past shows have included tributes to Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Queen and the Beatles. The School of Rock has found that the combination of private lessons and group practice is the best way to motivate kids to practice hard, overcome stage fright and become amazing musicians. But hurry, anyone who enrolls before Thursday, Dec. 31, gets three months enrollment for the price of two. Lessons start the week of Jan. 4, 2010.

Schedule a free trial lesson and select a show today. For more information, call or visit the Web site. 539 S. Fitness Place, Eagle, 208-639-2242, schoolofrock.com/boise.

DOWNTOWN NAMPA ASSOCIATION Downtown Nampa is a great place to stop, shop and explore. From the hip Downtown Skate Shop that specializes in skateboards, to old-school classics like the Farm Store and Nafziger’s Fine Men’s Wear. At Nafziger’s, which has been around since 1946, you can get formal attire, even custom-made suits or casual, golf or ranch wear, including shoes, boots and hats. And the customer service at Nafziger’s is legendary. While you’re downtown, make a day of it and stop in at Canyon County Historical Museum (call ahead for holiday hours). You’ll learn about the famous Dewey Palace Hotel and the historic Union Pacific Depot, where the museum is housed. For downtown Nampa details and more stores and shops to explore, visit downtownnampa.com.

FLOATING FEATHER DAY SPA Wanna try a real happy hour? Get the Tuesday Special at Floating Feather Day Spa for a totally ah-some experience. Get 10 percent off any 55-minute or longer service. Just think, that means you could get a heavenly Swedish, therapeutic, hot stone, raindrop technique or prenatal massage, cranial sacral therapy, reflexology or a facial. FF also offers esthetic skin care, makeup, hair removal, nail care services, spa packages and more. Gift certificates can be purchased at the spa, online or by telephone. Bonus: Say you saw this in Boise Weekly when you buy a gift certificate for $50 or more, and you’ll receive a $5 gift card for yourself. After all, don’t you deserve a present, too? 602 W. Idaho, 208-424-5153, floating-feather.com.

IDAHO POWER This holiday, you can help that special someone get her home office up and running by giving her ENERGY STAR-qualified office products. The ENERGY STAR rating is on a number of office products from computers, laptops and monitors to fax machines, printers, and copiers—everything she needs to make a home office abuzz with energy efficiency. She can save even more by plugging her electronics into a power strip and turning the strip off when she’s not using them.

Why? Power management puts computers and monitors into a low-power “sleep mode” when they’re not in use and lets them wake up within seconds, helping to save money on electricity bills. Laptops are more efficient than desktop models, but if a desktop suits her needs, be sure to remind her to keep the power-management features enabled on her new computer or monitor. A home office with ENERGY STAR-qualified products and enabled power management features on the ENERGY STAR PC and LCD monitor can save a significant amount on her power bills over the lifetime of the products. Get more energy efficiency ideas and tips at the Idaho Power Web site, idahopower.com.

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LEILA R AM ELLA- R ADER

BOISEvisitWEEKLY PICKS boiseweekly.com for more events

Tag, you’re it.

WEDNESDAY-FRIDAY DEC. 16-18 dogoodery WCA GIVING TREE

John Ondrasik, one for giving.

WEDNESDAY DEC. 16 music JOHN ONDRASIK OF FIVE FOR FIGHTING While every county in Idaho has been hit hard by this recession, Canyon County pulled the short straw in terms of joblessness, with more than 12 percent of its inhabitants currently unemployed. A lack of work often means a loss of health and dental insurance, leaving many in Canyon County unsure of what to do. The Canyon County Community Clinic hopes to provide help for the jobless and uninsured when they open in 2010. The clinic is a new nonprofit, faithbased medical clinic created to provide free medical and dental services to Canyon County residents. As a way to assist this fledgling clinic, radio station KRVB 94.9 The River will dedicate the proceeds of its 2009 Concert For Cause to the clinic.

This one-night event will be headlined by musician John Ondrasik of Five for Fighting, who is making his first appearance in Boise. Five for Fighting has released a number of hit singles, including the popular “100 Years,” “Superman (It’s Not Easy)” and the recent hit, “Chances.”

Ondrasik has a history of philanthropy, performing for servicemen as part of a USO/Armed Forces entertainment tour, so it’s only fitting that his appearance in Boise will benefit a worthy cause. The event will be at Knitting Factory and features both a live and silent auction. The Canyon County Community Clinic hopes to be up and running by Jan. 1, 2010, and The River’s Concert For Cause is a good way to get the ball rolling. Plus, any fundraiser with such high levels of alliteration (Five For Fighting, Canyon County Community Clinic) is bound to bring in the bucks.

6 p.m., $25-$65, The Knitting Factory, 416 S. Ninth St., 208-249-9904, riverinteractive.com.

WEDNESDAYTHURSDAY DEC. 16-17 art ART CELLAR HOLIDAY CLASSES We just caught wind of a new spot for crafty kiddos and grown-ups in East Boi-

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se. The Art Cellar, located off Broadway and Boise avenues, offers daily craft and art classes for hot glue gun wielders of all ages. On Wednesday, Dec. 16, and Thursday, Dec. 17, from 6-8 p.m., adults are invited to attend a workshop focusing on holiday centerpieces, wreaths and collage prints.

For a sliding-scale $15-$30 donation, attendees can

| DECEMBER 16–22, 2009 | BOISEweekly

rummage through an “entire truck-load of craft materials” that the Art Cellar recently acquired from a local gardening supply store.

If the thought of seeing another cinnamon-scented wreath makes you grit your teeth, ship the kids off to the Ar t Cellar for some much needed holiday peace and quiet. On Monday, Dec. 21, through Wednesday,

Though money might not grow on trees, Christmas wishes do. The Women’s and Children’s Alliance is working to alleviate holiday stress with the Grove Plaza Giving Tree, an evergreen tree decked out with thousands of glittering bulbs and thousands of tags. Each tag is labeled with the wishes and basic needs of the many women and children receiving aid from the WCA. Items include things as small as toilet paper and laundry soap to children’s toys and household goods like rugs and toasters.

In 2008, community members picked up more than 2,000 tags and fulfilled all of those wishes. The WCA is hoping that the 2,500 tags they have this year will receive the same treatment. The public can grab tags from the tree and then donate the new, unwrapped items to either the WCA main facility (Monday-Friday, 8 a.m.-5 p.m.) or the following Zions Bank locations: 890 Main St.; 7402 W. Fairview Ave.; 6176 N. Eagle Road; 3715 E. Overland Road, Meridian; 2121 W. Karcher Road, Nampa; and 509 S. Kimball Ave., Caldwell.

The Women’s and Children’s Alliance serves as a support system for victims of domestic abuse or sexual assault. Last year, the organization provided nearly 12,000 safe bed nights to roughly 250 women and children. The holiday season is a tumultuous time for everyone, but for women and children trapped in abusive households, the need for support is even greater.

So, gravitate toward the Grove and grab a tag to do your small part to help out.

Donations accepted until Friday, Dec. 18, Women and Children’s Alliance, 720 W. Washington St., 208-343-3688, wcaboise.org.

Dec. 23, you can drop the little ’uns off for a half-day or full-day of creative crafting. The curriculum includes painting, sculpture, jewelr ymaking and collage, with an assor tment of healthy snacks provided to keep the Play-Doh eaters satiated.

Half-day classes go from 10 a.m.-noon and 12:30-2:30 p.m. Cost is $25. Full-day classes run $40. If you send your industrious ar t star to all three classes, the full- and half-day prices drop by $5.

Wednesday, Dec. 16-Thursday, Dec. 17, 6-8 p.m., $15-$30; Monday, Dec. 21-Wednesday, Dec. 23, 10 a.m.-2:30 p.m., The Art Cellar, 1804 Vermont Avenue, 208-919-3635. For more information on other upcoming classes, visit theartcellarboise.com.

SUNDAY DEC. 20 brunch LINEN BUILDING SUNDAY MARKET Imagine it’s Sunday morning. You’re nursing your first cup of coffee and tr ying to shake that nasty headache that might be a result of a long night of quenching your dancing thirst with vodka tonics. All of the sudden, you realize have five days until Christmas and you haven’t bought crap for anyone on your list yet. Linen Building Sunday Market to the rescue.

With an assortment of local vendors offering everything from arts and crafts to clothing and jewelry and even flowers and fresh produce,

you can get all your holiday shopping done without ever setting foot in the mall.

Got a post-gimlet grumble gnawing at your stomach?

Wash away that hangover with a little hair of the dog in the form of a $3 mimosa and an all-you-can-eat brunch provided by Open Table.

The brunch—which includes spiced pumpkin pancakes, Parmesan hash browns, herbed scrambled eggs and a spinach, bacon and avocado breakfast salad—will set you back $12, or only $5 if you bring a new, unwrapped toy to donate. After you’ve finished your shopping, linger at the Linen for a while with the music of Dan Costello.

10 a.m.-3 p.m., FREE to shop, $5-$12 brunch, Linen Building, 1402 W. Grove St., 208-385-0111, thelinenbuilding.com.

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FIND OH, YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE Meter, meter, quarter eater.

SATURDAY DEC. 19 dollar saver FREE PARKING, NO JOKE Various downtown lots will be foregoing their usual ticket-Nazi ways for a one-day celebration that is free, free, free. While Saturday parking is always free in the metered parking spaces littered around the streets downtown, shoppers and diners are still forced to fork it over if they stow their wheels in downtown lots. But during the Boise Metro Chamber of Commerce’s Free Parking Day, businesses such as the Capital City Development Corporation, Republic Parking, The Car Park and Diamond Parking Services will look the other way … until 5 p.m.

With Christmas looming larger in the rearview mirror, it’s refreshing when the powers that be let the little things slide. That $2.50 per hour you save by not paying for your parking spot can go toward that tube of toothpaste your uncle has been dying to try or a pack of barrettes for your niece. Fancy.

Hop in that gas-guzzler and leave the quarters at home— this time, you’re parking for free. P.S. If you happen to get a parking ticket for some crazy, inexplicable reason, don’t call us. Call Jesus. He paid your tickets last week, and maybe if you ask nicely, he’ll do it again.

8 a.m.-5 p.m., FREE, downtown Boise, 208-472-5200, boisechamber.org.

MONDAY DEC. 21 poetry POETRY SLAM DELUX AT THE LUX The year is coming to a close, Christmas is around the corner, and you have extended family coming to town. With the bevy of emotions swirling in your head, it’s almost impossible to put your thoughts into words. Or is it? This December, Boise poets will have the chance to share those tumultuous thoughts with their slammin’ peers as Big Tree Arts and Neurolux present the Poetry Slam Delux.

Held the third Monday of every month, this popular Poetry Slam is open to the public and features a $100 grand prize. Sweet. The latest throwdown features performances by San Jose, Calif., poets Jen G. and David Perez of The Pincushion Orchestra. Before taking the Neurolux stage, the duo will participate in the Big Tree

S U B M I T

Arts Spoken Word Reading and Workshop series, held in the Gibson Room of the Boise State Student Union building. The series brings poets from around the country to workshop with local poets at Boise State.

If you’ve ever wanted an outside opinion on your free-styling, free-form verse, a free poetry workshop with established performers is a good place to start. To get a sense of what you’re getting into, check out The Pincushion Orchestra’s YouTube video, Monsters and the Women Who Love Them.

With a workshop at 5 p.m. and a performance at 8 p.m., the third Monday of December will be packed with poetry. So, slide into that black turtleneck, polish off those thick-rimmed glasses and get those fingers snappin’ for a night of angst, allegories and awesomeness.

Sign-ups at 7:30 p.m., show 8 p.m., $5, Neurolux, 111 N. 11th St. For more information, call 208-4260383 or visit boisepoetr y. com.

Joe Golden and Tom Willmorth are fools to the Xtreme.

SUNDAY DEC. 20 music XTREME HOLIDAY XTRAVAGANZA The folks at Interfaith Sanctuary have their hands full each week catering to the downtrodden by providing a warm and hospitable place to stay. The cooling temperatures make their work that much more important, and luckily the citizens of Boise are rallying to give their support. Local jazz master Curtis Stigers and Fool Squad-ers Joe Golden and Tom Willmorth from Idaho Shakespeare Festival will host the fourth-annual Xtreme Holiday Xtravaganza on Sunday, Dec. 20. This one-night holiday event will feature an all-star cast comprised of Idaho musicians, dancers and comedians, all of whom are donating their respective talents to raise funds for Interfaith Sanctuary. The event features performances by (in alphabetical order): Amuma Says No, Belinda Bowler, Belle of Les Bois, Bill Coffey, Dale Keys, Darkwood Consort, The David Andrews Band, The Divas of Boise, Frim Fram Fellas, Giant Leprechauns, Hillfolk Noir, In Joy Drum and Dance, Jeremiah James, John Hansen, Johnny Shoes, Low-Fi, The Moody Jews, Ned Evett, Oinkari Basque Dancers, Rebecca Scott, Shakin’ Not Stirred, Steve Fulton and Travis McDaniel.

And if this ridiculous assortment of entertainers isn’t enough to draw you out to the Egyptian Theatre, the Holiday Xtravaganza also features the Interfaith Sanctuary Silent Auction. The theme for this year’s auction is “Feels Like Home,” and guests can bid on items from the community that represent the local flavor and all that Boise has to offer. There will also be an appearance by the Record Exchange Munnys—a collection of vinyl kidrobot toys decorated by local artists like Erin Cunningham, Julia Green and Grant Olsen. All proceeds generated by the Record Exchange’s Silent Auction (ending the next day) will be donated to the Interfaith Sanctuary.

7:30 p.m., $25, The Egyptian Theatre, 700 W. Main St., 208-345-0454. For more information, visit curtisstigers.com.

A measly eight days remain until you have officially become a last-minute Christmas shopper. Time is short, and you’d prefer to spend your money locally on gifts that feign serious thought on your part.

It’s a tall order, but it’s possible. Breathe deep, get thee to Eighth Street and prepare to battle at the Holiday Annex, the indoor, condensed version of Saturday’s morning market.

Start with your hard-to-buyfor friend: a bright purple Prince “When Doves Cry” record converted into a wall clock from Miss Courageous. Throw in a swirled wine bottle topper from Boise Art Glass and voila.

Next, knock out gifts for all the women in your life. Snag rich, French lavender bath salts from the Scented Room for the frilly ladies on your list, and for the less flowery types, pick up patchouli and orange soap from Sawtooth BBQ Sauce Timber Mountain Soap Co. is one of the many items The carnivores are easy: Get at the annex. a sauce and dry rub gift set HOLIDAY ANNEX from Sawtooth BBQ and then Eighth Street between dig around in the back freezer Main and Idaho streets for a hunk of frozen meat from Hardtrigger Canyon. For the foodie, Extravagonzo olive oil is a must, especially now that the original garlic has been augmented by a rainbow of new additions, including meyer lemon, red chili and blood orange.

Still have an oddball or two? Pick up a pair of mugs or set of bowls from Hunt Hands handmade pottery. Round up a few dozen truffles from Carol’s Truffles (order those in advance) and a few six packs of Scott’s Loaded Granola Bars and you have stocking stuffers covered, too. Now that your shopping is finished, all you need is a local, on-call gift wrapper. Good luck with that one.

—Rachael Daigle

an event by e-mail to calendar@boiseweekly.com. Listings are due by noon the Thursday before publication.

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| DECEMBER 16–22, 2009 | 23

8 DAYS OUT WEDNESDAY DEC. 16 Festivals & Events

The Best Deals, Specials and Offers from Local Merchants. d nee No h sout to fly gs! for savin

SEX A.K.A. WIENERS & BOOBS—See Wednesday. 7 p.m. $10. A limited number of $7 rush tickets will be available each night. www. alleyrep.org. Alley Repertory Theater at VAC, 3638 Osage St., Garden City, 208-388-4278.

On Stage

Concerts

ANIMALS OUT OF PAPER—A ighty foray into the lives of origami artist Llana Andrews, child prodigy and calculus student Suresh, and Andy, the professor who brings them all together.

Play by Rajiv Joseph. 8 p.m. $12-$32. Boise Contemporary Theater, 854 Fulton St., Boise, 208-442-3232, www.bctheater. org.

HO, HO, HOLIDAY CONCERT— Featuring the 25th Army Band Brass Quintet performing The Weapons of Brass Destruction.

7-8 p.m. FREE. Ada Community Library, 10664 W. Victory Road, 208-362-0181, www.adalib.org.

HOLIDAZE DECOR—Learn the basics of oral design and fashion a wreath or centerpiece using new and recycled materials. 6-8 p.m. $15-$30 donation, based on a sliding scale. The Art Cellar, 1804 Vermont Ave., Boise, 208919-3635.

Food & Drink

Art

SEX A.K.A. WIENERS & BOOBS—See Review, Page 28. 7 p.m. $10. A limited number of $7 rush tickets will be available each night. www.alleyrep.org. Alley Repertory Theater at VAC, 3638 Osage St., Garden City, 208-388-4278.

A CHRISTMAS DINNER—Chef Randy King will be on hand to help you prepare the perfect holiday dinner with wine pairings.

6:30 p.m. $50. Pottery Gourmet, 811 W. Bannock St., Boise, 208368-0649.

Concerts

ARGENTINE TANGO CLASS AND PRACTICA—Join Portland Tanguero Jay Rabe for a three-day

ART SILENT AUCTION AND BIDDING—Laci McCrea has graciously donated numerous works—which can be viewed at Tully’s new location on Capitol Boulevard and Idaho Street in downtown Boise—to support local children’s foundations. Bidding closes on Dec. 17 at 5 p.m. and winners will be announced on Dec. 19. www.lacimccrea.com.

Tully’s Coffee, 720 W. Idaho St., Boise, 208-472-5250.

CHRISTMAS CAROL SING— Cookies, cocoa, candles and caroling complete this Christmas concert. 5 p.m. and 7 p.m.

FREE. St. Mark’s Church, 111 S. Jefferson St., Moscow.

THE BEAUTY AND SPIRIT OF TIBET—Tim Brim shares stories and multiple slides from his 2007 trip to Tibet. 7 p.m. FREE. Shangri-La Tea Room, 1800 W. Overland Road, Boise, 208-4240273, www.shangri-la-tea.com.

Festivals & Events CUMBIA CHRISTMAS—An evening of cumbia dancing, goodies and fun activities. 6-10 p.m. $5 general, $8 couples, $2 kids ages 4-12, FREE children 3 and younger. Boise State Student Union Building, 1910 University Drive, Boise, 208-426-INFO, union.boisestate.edu.

On Stage

in association with

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| DECEMBER 16–22, 2009 | BOISEweekly

Workshops & Classes

CHAIR DANCING WORKSHOP— Burlesque superstar, miss AbSINthia Verre, leads a lady’s chair dancing workshop. 7 p.m. $15. Ophidia Dance and Art Studio, 200 E. 37th St., No. 7, Garden City, 208-409-2403, www. myspace.com/danceophidia.

REVIEW/CD

Talks & Lectures

GIVING TREE—See Wednesday. For a complete list and more info, visit www.wcaboise.org.

Grove Plaza, downtown Boise.

workshop designed for both beginning and experienced dancers. No partner necessary to attend. Dec. 17-19, $10 class 7:15-8:30 p.m., $5 guided practice 8:30-10 p.m.

For details, visit www.boisetango. org or contact Marge Dobie at 208-761-3954. Boise Cafe/Cafe Bellisima, 219 N. 10th St., Boise.

GIVING TREE—See Picks, Page 22. For a complete list and more information, visit www.wcaboise. org. The Grove Plaza, downtown, Boise.

THURSDAY DEC. 17 A little birdie told me about this website.

A SEASON OF HOPE—A holiday musical variety show suited for the whole family. 7 p.m. $20.

Knock ’Em Dead Dinner Theatre, 333 S. Ninth St., Boise, 208-3850021, www.kedproductions.org.

ANIMALS OUT OF PAPER—See Wednesday. 8 p.m. $12-$32. Boise Contemporary Theater, 854 Fulton St., Boise, 208-442-3232, www.bctheater. org.

VARIOUS ARTISTS: WE WISH YOU A METAL XMAS AND A HEADBANGING NEW YEAR Maybe you like metal music and hate holiday heralds.

Maybe you can’t wait to hear Mariah Carey sing “O, Holy Night� but have never heard the “Ace of Spades.� But maybe you love Xmas and metal equally. If so, this CD is out just in time for the holidays (even though it actually came out in 2008).

Although metal should not be used to describe some contributors—Stephen Pearcy of Ratt?

Tommy Shaw of Styx?—you can tap your motorcycle boots as you stretch your bare, skull-tattoo-covered arms to put the Harley Davidson miniature on the topmost branch of your tree. Let the growling of Lemmy Kilmister (“Run, Rudolph, Run�), Alice Cooper (“Santa Claws Is Coming to Town� ha ha), Ronnie James Dio (chewing up ever y syllable of “God Rest Ye Merr y Gentlemen�), Mark Slaughter (“We Wish You A Merr y Xmas), Doug Pinnick (“Little Drummer Boy�) and more put you in a heavy-metal holiday spirit. And Tony Iommi, Scott Ian, Dave Grohl, John 5 and Bob Kulick are but a few of the rock guitar gods who help turn this yuletide mother out.

Depending on how you look at it, it’s both naughty and nice ... kinda like you, right? —Amy Atkins WWW. B O I S E WE E KLY. C O M

8 DAYS OUT Odds & Ends ARGENTINE TANGO WORKSHOP—Portland Tanguero Jay Rabe will lead participants in a variety of workshops designed for both beginners and experienced dancers. For more information on the full schedule, and to sign up, visit www.boisetango.com or contact Marge Dobie at 208-7613954. $50 for entire workshop, prices vary for individual classes.

Limelight, 3575 E. Copper Point Way, Meridian, 208-898-9425, www.limelightboise.com.

FRIDAY DEC. 18 Festivals & Events 2010 FIREMEN CALENDAR SIGNING —An Eagle firefighters calendar signing and toy and clothing drive to benefit the Boise Rescue Mission. Featuring food and drink specials, as well as games and good times. Bring your calendar for the guys to sign, or buy one on site for 15 bucks. 6-9 p.m. FREE. Nuthouse Sports Bar and Grill, 12505 W. Chinden Ave., Boise, 208-3788273, www.nuthouseboise.com.

GIVING TREE—See Wednesday. For a complete list and more information, visit www.wcaboise.org.

The Grove Plaza, downtown Boise.

HOLIDAY ART EVENT—Join the artists of Galerie Belle Ame for show specials and unique gifts.

The gallery will be serving up appetizers and refreshments during the event. 5-8:30 p.m. FREE. Galerie Belle Ame, 179 S. Eagle Road, Eagle, 208-938-1342, www.galeriebelleame.com.

On Stage 8 CRAZY NIGHTS—See Arts, Page 32. 9 p.m. $5. Neurolux, 111 N. 11th, Boise, 208-343-0886, www.neurolux.com.

ANIMALS OUT OF PAPER—See Wednesday. 8 p.m. $12-$32. Boise Contemporary Theater, 854 Fulton St., Boise, 208-442-3232, www.bctheater. org.

A CENTRE STAGE CHRISTMAS—Enjoy performances in tap, jazz, musical theater and hip-hop by members of Centre Stage Studios. 6:30 p.m. $8.

Nampa Civic Center, 311 Third St. S., Nampa, 208-468-5555, www.nampaciviccenter.com.

Morrison Center for the Performing Arts, 2201 Cesar Chavez Lane, Boise, 208-426-1609, mc.boisestate.edu.

THE NUTCRACKER—Enjoy a holiday classic, performed by a cast of 100 student dancers alongside featured guest artists Chalnessa Eames and Benjamin Griffiths. 7 p.m. $20 adults, $15 students and seniors, 208338-4633. Boise State Special Events Center, 1800 University Drive, Boise, sub.boisestate.edu.

A SEASON OF HOPE—See Thursday. 6:30 p.m. $39 dinner and show, $20 show only. Knock ’Em Dead Dinner Theatre, 333 S. Ninth St., Boise, 208-3850021, www.kedproductions.org.

SEX A.K.A. WIENERS & BOOBS—See Wednesday. 7 p.m. $10.

A limited number of $7 rush tickets will be available each night. www.alleyrep.org. Alley Repertory Theater at VAC, 3638 Osage St., Garden City, 208-388-4278.

Concerts

A CHRISTMAS CAROL— Charles Dickens’ holiday classic comes to the Morrison Center stage courtesy of the Nebraska Theatre Caravan. The Caravan’s Carol is probably the most widely produced production of Dickens’ in the nation, annually performing in more than 60 cities across the country. 8 p.m. $25-$45.

BOISE MASTER CHORALE— The Boise Master Chorale, under the direction of Dr. Jim Jirak, performs Handel’s Messiah with full orchestra and soloists.

8 p.m. $20, 208-344-4794, www.boisemasterchorale.net.

Valley Shepherd Church of the Nazarene, 150 W. Maestra St., Meridian.

| SUDOKU

ROCK THE HALLS CHRISTMAS CONCERT—A youth Rock the Halls Christmas concert and dinner. Mellatonic will be performing along with a raffle and prizes. 6-9 p.m. FREE. 208-342-1072, www.calvarytv. org. Calvary Chapel Treasure Valley, Hillcrest Shopping Center, 5312 Overland Road, Boise.

THE MEPHAM GROUP

Food & Drink NAUGHTY OR NICE—Enjoy drink specials—mistletoe, red bow, black opal and margarita rocks—and a visit from Santa’s special sweeties, or hop up on Santa’s lap to tell him what you want for Christmas. Wild101 and DJ Complex will DJ from 10 p.m.2 a.m. 8 p.m. FREE. Montego Bay, 3000 N. Lakeharbor Lane, Boise, 208-853-5070, www. montegobayidaho.com.

THE UGLY CHRISTMAS SWEATER PARTY—Bust out those old-school treasures— ahem, sweaters and head on down for a gathering of like-clothed folks and fun prizes.

8 p.m. FREE with sweater, $2 without. Bad Irish, 199 N. Eighth St., Boise, 208-338-8939, www. badirish.com.

| EASY

| MEDIUM |

HARD | PROFESSIONAL |

Complete the grid so each row, column and 3-by-3 box (in bold borders) contains every digit 1 to 9. For strategies on how to solve Sudoku, visit www.sudoku.org.uk.

Go to www.boiseweekly.com and look under odds and ends for the answers to this week’s puzzle. And don’t think of it as cheating.

Think of it more as simply double-checking your answers.

LAST WEEK’S ANSWERS

Talks & Lectures THE LIFE AND MUSIC OF HANDEL—Eric Collette will play a few pieces followed by a talk about the classical artist Handel.

A complimentary lunch to follow. 11 a.m. FREE. Chateau de Boise, 7250 Poplar St., Boise, 208-322-7277.

© 2009 Mepham Group.

Distributed by Tribune Media Services. All rights reserved.

WWW. B OISEWEEKLY.C O M

BOISEweekly

| DECEMBER 16–22, 2009 | 25

8 DAYS OUT Religious/Spiritual FROM DARKNESS TO LIGHT—A special worship service aimed to bring light and hope into this holiday season. 6 p.m. FREE. First Presbyterian Church, 950 W. State St., Boise, 208-345-3441, www.first-presbyterian.org.

Odds & Ends ARGENTINE TANGO WORKSHOP—See Thursday. $50 for entire workshop, prices vary for individual classes. Limelight, 3575 E. Copper Point Way, Meridian, 208-898-9425, www. limelightboise.com.

HOLIDAY OPEN HOUSE AND ARTIST GROOVE PARTY— Browse the shop while enjoying music by Travis Ward and a special fire dancing performance by Glitter of the Fire Kittens. 5:30-9 p.m. FREE. Art4Art!, 1002 Vista Ave., Boise, art4artidaho. blogspot.com.

SATURDAY DEC. 19 Festivals & Events ADOPTION DAY AT IDAHO HUMANE SOCIETY—If you’ve been eyeing your neighbor’s fuzzy feline or wishing your canine had a friend, today’s your day. Idaho Humane Society is offering reduced adoption fees, discounted shots and microchipping for only $15. Santa is making a special visit to pose for photos with the kids and pets from noon-2 p.m.

9 a.m.-5 p.m. FREE. Idaho Humane Society, 4775 W. Dorman St., Boise, 208-342-3508, www. idahohumanesociety.com.

CITY SANTA AT MACY’S—With proceeds benefiting the American Cancer Society, visit Santa and have your picture taken for a small donation. 11 a.m.-4 p.m.

Macy’s, 918 W. Idaho St., Boise, 208-388-7000.

FREE PARKING DAY—See Picks, Page 23. 8 a.m.-5 p.m. FREE, downtown Boise, 208-472-5200, www.boisechamber.org.

HOLIDAY FARMERS MARKET— A holiday spin on the classic with the addition of wreaths, handmade cards and more. 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Held on Eighth Street from Bannock to The Grove Plaza, downtown Boise. www.capitalcitypublicmarket.com.

HOLIDAY OPEN HOUSE—Edwards presents an opportunity to take those annual family photos in a lush, beautiful setting during their open house. Noon-3 p.m.

FREE. Edwards Greenhouse, 4106 Sand Creek St., Boise, 208-342-7548, www.edwardsgreenhouse.com.

WELCOME BACK THE SUN— Mixed Bag Enterprises and Aaron Maynard have a vision, and it includes art, music, shows, gatherings and you. To kick off their new venture, they’re hosting a Christmas/Yule arts and crafts show and sale with a flea market-like feel. Good times.

9 a.m.-6 p.m. FREE. Eclectic Endeavors, 3005 Main St., 208863-4745, mixedbag-om.com.

On Stage ANIMALS OUT OF PAPER—See Wednesday. 2 p.m. and 8 p.m. $12-$32. Boise Contemporary Theater, 854 Fulton St., Boise, 208-442-3232, www.bctheater.org.

A CHRISTMAS CAROL—See Friday. 2 p.m. and 8 p.m. $25$45. Morrison Center for the Performing Arts, 2201 Cesar Chavez Lane, Boise, 208-4261609, mc.boisestate.edu.

IMPROVOLUTION—A fast-paced improv group whose sole aim is to get you giggling. Laugh it up. 8 p.m. $10, www.boiselaughs.com.

Stage Coach Theatre, 5296 W. Overland Road, Boise, 208-3422000.

THE NUTCRACKER, BOISE STATE—See Friday. 1 p.m. and 7 p.m. $20 adults, $15 students and seniors, 208-338-4633.

Boise State Special Events Center, 1800 University Drive, Boise, sub.boisestate.edu.

THE NUTCRACKER—Dance Arts Academy presents the classic tale as a benefit to the Meridian Foodbank and Toys for Tots. 4 p.m. $4-$5. Mountain View High School, 2000 Millenium Way, Meridian, 208-855-4050.

A SEASON OF HOPE—See Thursday. 6:30 p.m. $39 dinner and show, $20 show only. Knock ’Em Dead Dinner Theatre, 333 S. Ninth St., 208-385-0021, www.kedproductions.org.

SEX A.K.A. WIENERS & BOOBS—See Wednesday. 7 p.m. $10.

A limited number of $7 rush tickets will be available each night. www.alleyrep.org. Alley Repertory Theater at VAC, 3638 Osage St., Garden City, 208-388-4278.

Food & Drink CHRISTMAS BREAKFAST CLASS—Participants will learn to make an easy-peasy Christmas breakfast consisting of Norwegian Fruit Soup, Blintz Casserole with Blueberry Sauce, Maple Sausage and Refrigerator Bran Muffins. 11 a.m. $50. Pottery Gourmet, 811 W. Bannock St., Boise, 208-368-0649.

DUDE HOWDY

by Steve Klamm

EAGLE CHRISTMAS MARKET— Holiday events happening all around the Eagle area, including live choirs performing holiday favorites at the Heritage Park gazebo and kids activities. For a full list events, visit www. eaglearts.org. 11 a.m.-8 p.m.

FREE. Eagle.

FESTIVAL ON ICE—Holiday music, lights and costumed skaters.

Featuring tiny tots to nationally ranked skaters from the Boise Figure Skating Club and Learn to Skate classes at IceWorld.

3 p.m. and 6 p.m. $7 adults, $5 children, $10 VIP tickets that include on-ice seating and refreshments. Idaho IceWorld, 7072 S. Eisenman Road, Boise, 208-331-0044, www.idahoiceworld.com.

THE GREAT FRUITCAKE FOLLIES DOWNTOWN CAROLING CONTEST—A wide array of Treasure Valley school choirs will compete in a contest judged on their moves, style and resonating vocals. Participating choirs include Timberline’s Chantez! Advanced Women’s Chorus and Encore Timberline.

12:30-1:30 p.m. FREE. The Grove Plaza, downtown, Boise.

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| DECEMBER 16–22, 2009 | BOISEweekly

Dude Howdy by Steve Klamm was the 1st place winner in the 8th Annual Boise Weekly Bad Cartoon Contest.

WWW. B O I S E WE E KLY. C O M

8 DAYS OUT Workshops & Classes

Boise WaterShed, 11818 W. Joplin Road, Boise, 208-489-1284, www. cityofboise.org/Bee/WaterShed.

I’M DREAMING OF A GREEN CHRISTMAS—Head over to the Boise Watershed to catch up on staying green this Christmas, with tips on green lighting, decorating, spending and giving. 10 a.m. FREE.

NORTHWEST REGIONAL LEADERSHIP SUMMIT—Young professionals from throughout the Northwest gather to discuss leadership. 6 p.m. Cost TBA,

EYESPY Real Dialogue from the naked city

contact dung.phan@unavsa. org. Boise State Student Union Building, 1910 University Drive, Boise, union.boisestate.edu.

Odds & Ends Green CONIFERS OF IDAHO AND THE NORTHWEST—Spend the afternoon learning how to identify various conifers and learn about their wee inhabitants. Remember to bundle up for a walk around the center. 2 p.m. FREE. MK Nature Center, 600 S. Walnut St., Boise, 208-368-6060.

Kids & Teens CAMP CHEER—Attendees will play games, exercise and learn a ton of halftime dances. Noon-4 p.m. $15, scholarships are available, www.cityofboise.org. Borah High School, 6001 Cassia, Boise, 208-322-3855.

THE GRINCH VISITS THE LIBRARY—Join national awardwinning storyteller Chris Leebrick for an entertaining show featuring Dr. Seuss and his classic tales. 3 p.m. FREE. Boise Public Library, 715 S. Capitol Blvd., Boise, 208-384-4200, www. boisepubliclibrary.org.

KID’S CRAFT STATION—Bring the kids in to craft a gift during the two-hour open-house-style crafting session. There will be a musical performance by the Boise Choristers at 2 p.m. 1-4 p.m. FREE.

WWW. B OISEWEEKLY.C O M

Art4Art!, 1002 Vista Ave., Boise, art4artidaho.blogspot.com.

ARGENTINE TANGO WORKSHOP—See Thursday. $50 for entire workshop, prices vary for individual classes. Limelight, 3575 E. Copper Point Way, Meridian, 208-898-9425, www. limelightboise.com.

SUNDAY DEC. 20 Festivals & Events CELEBRATE THE SOLSTICE— Join in for a Renaissance-themed evening to celebrate the beauty of the solstice. 7 p.m. $20 adv., $25 door. Shannon Glen Apartments Club House, 10140 W. Charlie Lane, Boise, 208-853-3113.

CITY SANTA AT MACY’S— See Saturday. 11 a.m.-4 p.m.

Macy’s, 918 W. Idaho St., Boise, 208-388-7000.

SUNDAY MARKET—See Picks, Page 22. 10 a.m.-3 p.m. FREE. The Linen Building, 1402 W. Grove St., Boise, 208-385-0111, www. thelinenbuilding.com.

WINTER SOLSTICE CELEBRATION—Carolyn Failla and friends host an evening

to celebrate the solstice, with drums, didgeridoos, flutes, shakers and sticks. 5-7 p.m. FREE. Foothills Learning Center, 3188 Sunset Peak Road, Boise, 208514-3755, www.cityofboise.org

Concerts BOISE MASTER CHORALE— Performing Handel’s Messiah with full orchestra and soloists.

2 p.m. $20, 208-344-4794, www.boisemasterchorale.net.

Cathedral of the Rockies, First United Methodist Church, 717 N. 11th St., Boise.

A VERY DARKWOOD CHRISTMAS—Featuring Darkwood Consort, performing an array of medieval and popular Christmas classics. 2 p.m. $12 general, $8 students and seniors. Esther Simplot Center for the Performing Arts, 516 S. Ninth St., Boise, 208-345-9116.

Concerts A MAGICAL FAMILY CHRISTMAS—A memorable evening of music celebrating family and capturing the spirit of Christmas with themes of family, faith, love and fun. Performed

by LaVar and Kimberly Kofoed Family and friends. 7 p.m. $6.

Nampa Civic Center, 311 Third St. S., Nampa, 208-468-5555, www.nampaciviccenter.com.

Workshops & Classes PERFORMANCE POETRY WORKSHOP—A spoken word and reading workshop with Jen Genius and David Perez, presented by Big Tree Arts. 5 p.m.

FREE. Boise State Student Union Building, 1910 University Drive, Boise, 208-426-INFO, union. boisestate.edu.

Kids & Teens

MONDAY DEC. 21 Festivals & Events POETRY SLAM DELUX—See Picks, Page 23. 7:30 p.m. $5.

Neurolux, 111 N. 11th, Boise, 208-343-0886, www.neurolux. com.

BOISEweekly

MUSICAL THEATER WITH TRICA—Explore the world of Africa through a tale of a misfit zebra who has no stripes. Young actors gather together to create and stage the tale in An African Story. Register through the YMCA at 208-344-5501 or www.ymcaboise.org. YMCA, 1050 W. State St., Boise, www. ymcaboise.org.

| DECEMBER 16–22, 2009 | 27

8 DAYS OUT TUESDAY DEC. 22 Literature BOOK SIGNING—Boise native and author Justin Allen will be signing his new novel Year of the Horse. 3-5 p.m. FREE. Borders Books and Music, 350 N. Milwaukee, Boise, 208-322-6668, www.borders.com.

WEDNESDAY DEC. 23 Festivals & Events JAMES BROWN CHRISTMAS SALE—Support the Boise Bicycle Project and receive 25 percent off all used bikes during their Christmas sale. 11 a.m.-7 p.m. Boise Bicycle Project, 1027 Lusk St., Boise, 208-429-6520, www.boisebicycleproject.org.

Odds & Ends

sweet city of Boise, lit by holiday lights. All passengers receive a free grande barista beverage prior to departure. Fridays, Saturdays, 6:30-8:30 p.m. and 8-10 p.m. $9.95 adults, $7.95 students, $6.95 children 12 and younger. Tickets must be purchased in advance. Contact Jill at 208-629-9750 or e-mail jill@ tullysidaho.com. Tully’s Coffee, 794 W. Broad St., Boise, 208343-2953, www.tullys.com.

On Stage THE X-MAS FILES OR MIRACLE AT AREA 51—Agents Smolder and Scullery are on the scene to keep Christmas in order by solving a mysterious sleigh-and-reindeer crash. Fridays, Saturdays, 7:15 p.m., Sun., Dec. 20, 2 p.m. Continues through Dec. 27. $7-$13. Prairie Dog Playhouse, 3820 Cassia St., Boise, 208336-7383, www.pdplayhouse. com.

WINTER WINDOW GALLERY STROLL—Take a stroll through downtown Boise to view beautiful outdoor works from local artist.

For more information, visit www.downtownboise.org. Daily through Dec. 31.

TROLLEY HOLIDAY LIGHT TOURS—Hop aboard the holiday trolley for a splendid tour of the

REVIEW/STAGE ALLEY REPERTORY THEATER

LUNCH AND MUSIC—A complimentary lunch followed by holiday music with Rod’s Cruisin Classics. 12:15 p.m. FREE. Chateau de Boise, 7250 Poplar St., Boise, 208-322-7277.

WINTER GARDEN AGLOW—Idaho Botanical Garden is glowing with more than 250,000 sparkling lights. Families and friends will enjoy the magic of the valley’s lights with views from the top of the Lewis and Clark Native Plant Garden, holiday music, hot refreshments and roaring bonfires. Santa will make special appearances throughout the event. Daily through Jan. 10, 2010, 6-9 p.m. $6 adults, $4 children ages 4-12, $4 members. Idaho Botanical Garden, 2355 N. Penitentiary Road, Boise, 208-343-8649, www.idahobotanicalgarden.org.

VINYL PRESERVATION SOCIETY OF IDAHO—December’s theme: Celebrating Festivus II. The gift of giving rules. Bring a white elephant gift for exchange at this month’s meet. 7-10 p.m. FREE, www. vpsidaho.org. Modern Hotel and Bar, 1314 W. Grove St., Boise, 208-424-8244.

LISTEN LOCALLY. THINK GLOBALLY.

Handel’s

MESSIAH

The Chorale will perform Handel’s Messiah with full orchestra and soloists. This music is as timeless as the holiday itself.

DECEMBER

18TH, 8:00pm

Valley Shepherd Church of the Nazarene at 150 Maestra St. in Meridian

DECEMBER

20TH, 2:00pm

Cathedral of the Rockies at 717 N. 11th in Boise

Tickets are available for purchase at www.boisemasterchorale.net or 208-344-4794.

Each performance is $20, and students are free.

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| DECEMBER 16–22, 2009 | BOISEweekly

CONTINUING Holiday CHRISTMAS LIGHTS TOUR OF BOISE—See the lights of Boise from on high in a helicopter tour. The tour departs from Western Aircraft at the Boise airport, flying over downtown and Idaho Botanical Garden. Tours depart at sunset and last about 15 minutes. Give the gift of flight. Dec. 18-Jan. 1, 2010, 6 p.m. $125 couple, $150 three people. Silverhawk Aviation Academy, 4505 Aviation Way, Caldwell, 208-453-8577, www. silverhawkaviation.net.

HOLIDAY LIGHTS TOUR—Hop on the trolley for an interactive 60-minute holiday light tour around the great city of trees.

Tours leave on the hour from the Moxie Java at Cole Village Plaza parking lot. Daily through Dec. 30. 6 p.m., 7 p.m. and 8 p.m. $14 adults, $6 children. Tickets must be purchased via the Web, boisetrolleytours.com.

KID’S THREE-DAY GIFTMAKING CAMP—Kids ages 6 and up will complete and wrap a handmade gift each day of camp. Dec. 21-23. 10-11 a.m. $30 for all three days, $12 single session. Puffy Mondaes, 200 12th Ave. S., Nampa, 208407-3359, www.puffymondaes. com.

Crate and Barrel meets dirty whore.

SEX, AKA WIENERS AND BOOBS What are the odds that the mayor and the perpetually drunk astronaut in a tiny town full of hookers, rednecks and gigolos will both be named Gerard Depardieu? Well, if you happen to be in the play Sex AKA Wieners and Boobs set in the fictional town of Teaneck, N.J., the odds are pretty high.

Sex follows new sheriff Jack Greenberg (Jack-me-off Greenturd) as he faces off against the roosterish king of the Teaneck sex industry, Tad Theaterman. Lusty, clothes-on sex scenes, fart jokes and absurdity ensue. As the inaugural performance in Alley Repertory Theater’s Alley Underground series, Sex was an ambitious undertaking. Written by Joe Lo Truglio, Michael Showalter and David Wain—of The State, Stella and Wet Hot American Summer fame—the play is unsurprisingly irreverent and, at times, just plain stupid. But not just any group of actors could take that material and give it life. Alley Rep’s cast, which includes the fantastic Dustin Scott as astronaut Gerard, Renee Knappenberger as love interest Hillary, and Noah Moody as Theaterman, nailed the script’s timing and delivery, eliciting loud shrieks and snorts from the relatively packed crowd.

With Sex, Alley Underground has set a low-brow high bar for all future productions.

—Tara Morgan Runs through Saturday, Dec. 19. Alley Repertory Theater, 3638 Osage St., Garden City, 208-388-4278, alleyrep.org.

WWW. B O I S E WE E KLY. C O M

NEWS/NOISE NOISE

BOISE’S SON (AND FATHER) Curtis Stigers comes home for a while AMY ATKINS “Riding through this world / all alone, God takes your soul; / you’re on your own The crow flies straight / a perfect line.

On the Devil’s back until you die ...

Gotta look this life / in the eye.”

These lyrics set the tone for the critically acclaimed drama Sons of Anarchy on the FX This is a picture of Curtis Stigers in the future ... relaxing after the Xtreme Holiday Xtravaganza. cable channel. With a thread of Hamlet running through it, the series follows a California motorcycle club, with all of the expected playMacFarlane shared a limo to the awards cerFunny ’Bout Peace, Love and Understanding” ers: guns, drugs, warring gang factions, Feds. emony. Also up for Outstanding Theme was on The Bodyguard soundtrack have made But the show is ultimately about family and a song that composer John Williams—the Lowe a very wealthy man. how far the characters will go to protect their Fellow jazz musician, pianist Paul Tillotson, Star Wars theme song guy—wrote for a PBS own. The violence of the show is shocking, but documentary. Williams won. said being an instrumentalist is a tougher road the biggest surprise came with the discovery Although Stigers is sometimes stuck to travel. He and Stigers played together in the that the voice singing the theme song belongs Curtis Stigers Trio in New York during the late between what he has to do—travel being his to local jazz/blues musician Curtis Stigers. biggest hardship—and what he wants to do, After several months on the road playing in ’80s. Tillotson still lives there and is quite sucGermany, England and France, the theme’s first cessful, playing nearly 300 shows per year. And he doesn’t look back with regret. When he was signed to Arista Records in the early ’90s, he as the success of the Sons of Anarchy theme line is particularly prescient in regard to the and record mogul Clive Davis were at loggersong would suggest, Tillotson said Stigers’ singer. With a palpable sense of relief, Stigers achievements can be at- heads over Stigers’ music. He wanted to make explained that, other jazz music and Davis wanted pop. tributed to that choice than his Xtreme Holi“But if I hadn’t signed with Arista, I of being a vocalist first. day Xtravaganza (see Tickets for the Xtreme Holiday Xtravaganza are sold out, but you can still bid on two pair wouldn’t be playing huge theaters in England,” “Curtis’ success, I Noise News this page), of front-row tickets.

Stigers said. “I would have probably made a think, has a lot to do he’s home with an open See Noise News this page. with that he’s a singer,” small record and disappeared.” schedule until March As difficult as it may have been for Stigers, Tillotson said. “That 2010. It’s a mixed Tillotson agreed that Stigers’ tutelage under helps a lot.” blessing; he’d like to be Another aspect that Davis gave him a huge leg up. making more money— “Clive Davis, the hitmaker of all the greatand he probably could be—but it would mean contributes to Stigers’ ability to sing for his supper is his willingness to go where they want est music in the world, took Curtis under his more time on the road away from his family. wing a long time ago … That started his career to hear him. He has a much higher profile And he’s already had enough of that. in Europe. It was Clive Davis who made that in Europe than in the United States, though “My time will be spent just being a dad,” happen,” Tillotson said. even there his popularity isn’t always consisStigers said. Other than a return home for a Though Stigers reflects on it a little differweek during Halloween—a high holiday in the tent. He took part in this summer’s Proms, a ently, he recognizes Davis’ influence on the hugely popular annual concert series held at Stigers household (they were punk-rock zomtrajectory his career took. And he understands Albert Hall and performed during a live BBC bies this year)—he was on the road touring or that both the sacrifices and the rewards have Radio 2 tribute to Johnny Mercer at Lonworking on his new album Lost In Dreams their purpose. don’s Mermaid Theatre, which seats 600. He (released in September on Concord) most of “I went through a lot of agony with Clive played a concert of John Lennon songs with 2009. “I just want to hang out with my famDavis over creative control … but every step in the Liverpool Philharmonic. Not every Stigers ily,” he said. life leads you to some place,” Stigers said. performance in Europe, however, is witnessed That dichotomy of roles—international In Stigers’ case, every step—even the by thousands. performer and regular guy—is reflected even cross-continental ones—lead back to Boise.

“I play theaters in England and opera within the ways Stigers’ expresses himself He wouldn’t mind a little more success, i.e. houses in Denmark and Germany but, then musically. making more money, but for right now, he’s again, I go to Paris and play a tiny little jazz Stigers grew up in Boise, learning jazz at happy to shift his priorities. For the next few club,” Stigers said, laughing. the knee of legend Gene Harris, and is known months, his steps won’t take him much further But success here in the States isn’t comby many as a saxophonist. He recently played than local coffeeshops or the racks at Record pletely foreign to Stigers. This year, he was sax in a concert with Nick Lowe at England’s Exchange or his daughter’s school when he nominated for a Grammy for Outstanding Royal Albert Hall. But ask him to describe drops her off in the mornings.

Original Main Title Theme Music for the himself and he says, “I’m a singer who plays “Being on stage with my band is heaven, SOA theme song, which Stigers recorded here sax and writes songs, in that order.” And he but the rest of it can get annoying ... especially has the numbers to back that up: The royalties in Boise at Cunningham Studios. To put it in being away from my kid.” perspective, Stigers and Family Guy’s Seth from Stigers’ version of Lowe’s “What’s So WWW. B OISEWEEKLY.C O M

Frim Fram Four put the X in Xtreme.

PROMENADE YOUR PARTNER, SOLD OUT STIGERS, ADDICTED TO BLUES AND JESUS’ GUITAR PLAYER Here at BW, we love a music festival, but man, are they a lot of work. So we have joined with our friends Underground Uncovered and are proud to present Promenade Music Festival, the first of which is scheduled for October 2010. Based on Austin’s SXSW model and Portland’s MusicFestNW, Promenade will feature local and out-of-town acts in eight venues during three days, as well as discussion panels and more. Go Listen Boise is on board to help with the entertainment and expert selection process. We’ll keep you updated, of course, but for more information, visit promenadeboise.com.

Curtis Stigers’ Fourth Annual Xtreme Holiday Xtravaganza at the Egyptian Theatre, presented by Idaho Mountain Touring and Boise State Radio, is a rare opportunity to see the musician here in his hometown.

If you don’t have tickets, you’ll have to wait until next year; the show is sold out and it’s too late for you. Or is it?

Other than a plea on craigslist.com, you have one more opportunity to snag two pair of passes to the show hosted by Stigers and The Fool Squad and including a slew of fine local talent, like Rob Paper, winner of this year’s Boise’s Got Talent competition (see the full list of performers in Picks on Page 23). At curtisstigers.com, he of the silver hair and the velvet voice is auctioning off four front-row tickets and dinner at Red Feather. Proceeds from the show benefit the Interfaith Sanctuary.

Whether you love the holidays or spend winter wishing for the warm months of summer, a glass of good scotch and local band The Blues Addicts can help you while away the time or celebrate at O’Michael’s Pub (2433 Bogus Basin Road) Saturday, Dec. 19, as they trot out tunes from the catalogs of Eric Clapton, The Allman Brothers, Muddy Waters and more. If you aren’t familiar with the Addicts, Saturday’s show will be a good way to see what they’re all about before their upcoming show at the Linen Building in January.

In used-to-be-famous person news, former Elton John guitarist Caleb Quaye will be in Boise as a guest evangelist at New Heights Christian Fellowship on Saturday, Dec. 19, and Sunday, Dec. 20. In his rockand-roll heyday, Quaye played not only with Sir Elton, but also with the likes of Pete Townshend, Mick Jagger and Daryl Hall.

Maybe that’s why he embraced Christianity.

Just sayin’. New Christian is at 9950 W. Ustick Road. For more information, call 208322-5025 or visit nhcf.com.

—Amy Atkins

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| DECEMBER 16–22, 2009 | 29

GUIDE WEDNESDAY DEC. 16

FRIDAY DEC. 18

ROCK’N AROUND THE X-MAS TREE PARTY—9 p.m. $3. The Whiskey River

BOISE BICYCLE PROJECT FUNDRAISER—LowFi, Mere Cat and Microbabies. Support wheels. 8 p.m. $5 donation. Neurolux

3MACHINE, OILSLAVE—9 p.m. $3.

Terrapin Station

SINGLE CAR GARAGE BAND— John Blakley, Shell Forman and Bill McKeeth. 6 p.m. FREE. The Blue Moose Cafe

CONCERT FOR CAUSE: JOHN ONDRASIK—See Picks, Page 22. 6 p.m. $25 general, $65 VIP. Knitting Factory JOHN WHIPPLE, STONEY HOLIDAY—9 p.m. FREE. Terrapin Station PUNK GOES ACOUSTIC, A ST. LUKE’S BENEFIT—Brodie from Sprockets, Back Handed Compliments, Haven. 8 p.m. $5. Reef

THURSDAY DEC. 17

ALPENFLOW—A high-energy collective. 9 p.m. $5. The Bouquet BLAZE-N-KELLY—8:30 p.m. FREE. Piper Pub BLIND DRIVER—10 p.m. FREE. Bittercreek CODI JORDAN BAND—9:30 p.m. $5. Reef DAVID LYLE EVANS—6 p.m. FREE. Shorty’s DEFENDERS OF THE FAITH—Featuring XEX, Final Underground, Karin Comes Killing and Ripshaw. 6:30 p.m. $6. Knitting Factory

SMOKIN’ LOCALS—With Stop Drop and Party, Workin’ On Fire, Rest On This, saveyoursorrows, A New Agenda and 3rd to Last. 7 p.m. $8.

The Venue TRACE BUNDY—Join renowned fingerstyle guitarist for an evening of original as well as Christmas and holiday favorites. 7:30 p.m. $10 suggested donation. Rembrandt’s WILD101, DJ COMPLEX—Sets during Montego Bay’s Naughty or Nice party. 10 p.m. FREE. Montego Bay

FINN RIGGINS, MERE CAT, MODERN BALLOONIST— 7 p.m. $5 adv., $6 door. The Linen Building

ALPENFLOW, DANGERBEARD— 9 p.m. $5. Terrapin Station THE BLUES ADDICTS—Bluesy songs by popular musicians.

8 p.m. FREE. O’Michael’s CODI JORDAN BAND—9:30 p.m. $5. Reef DAVID LYLE EVANS—6 p.m. FREE. Shorty’s GIZZARD STONE, JOSHUA TREE— 9 p.m. $5. The Bouquet GRAYMAKER (GRAYSKUL + MAKER), BASTARD PATRIOTS, BRAHMA LAGAH—Ditch dark and bugged out, this sound is all hip-hop. Followed by MT Theory Mixed Theory DJs. 8 p.m. $8 adv., $10 door. Neurolux JACK BROWN—7:30 p.m. FREE. Corkscrews LEE PENN SKY—8 p.m. FREE. Willi B’s

FROYDIAN SLIP—8 p.m. FREE. Sockeye

JEREMIAH DESEAY

BATTLE OF THE BANDS—Pilot Error, Soul Serene, Actual Depiction, Lust Greeds Envy and Workin’ On Fire.

7:30 p.m. FREE. Knitting Factory

ROD DYER—7:30 p.m. FREE. Corkscrews

SATURDAY DEC. 19

GIZZARD STONE—8:45 p.m. FREE. Pengilly’s

HOTEL INDIA—8 p.m. FREE. Reef

KEN HARRIS—7:30 p.m. FREE. Music of the Vine

JUSTIN GAZE, BOSS HAWG AND THE SHORT BUS, M 4 OUTFIT— 9 p.m. FREE. Liquid

PATRICIA FOLKNER—7 p.m. FREE. Woodriver Cellars

LEE PENN SKY—6 p.m. FREE. Tablerock

RIZING REZISTANCE—9 p.m. $1.

Liquid Workin’ On Fire

GUIDE/LISTEN HERE

GraySkul

GUIDE/LISTEN HERE

STACEY WAYNE, DEC. 19, NAMPA CIVIC CENTER Elvis impersonator Stacey Wayne has had the king in his blood since he was a hip-thrusting young chap. Literally. Elvis and Wayne share the same blood type—O positive—and oddly enough, they also share the same birthday, Jan. 8.

But the similarities don’t end there.

Both dudes were inducted into the Army on March 24, discharged from Fort Dix on March 5 and both have the same original, strawberryblond hair color. Not like Wayne’s keeping track, or anything.

With this pedigree, it’s only natural that Wayne decided to embrace his destiny, gel his pompadour and slip into a jeweled gold suit. While Wayne has yet to rock the jailhouse, he spent some QT on the Oldies Caribbean Cruise line and shook up the stage with the likes of The Turtles, Bill Medley of the Righteous Brothers, and Paul Revere and the Raiders.

On Saturday, Dec. 19, Wayne will take the Nampa Civic Center stage with the four piece band The Rocketeers to charm crowds with his bellowing bay-bays and unh hunh hunhs. Viva La Nampa!

—Tara Morgan Saturday, Dec. 19, 8 p.m., $20 adult, $15 kids, Nampa Civic Center, 311 Third St. S., Nampa, 208-468-5500. For more information or to purchase tickets, visit nampaciviccenter.com.

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| DECEMBER 16–22, 2009 | BOISEweekly

HOT DOG HOLIDAY, DEC. 21, LIQUID Some holiday traditions help us get in the spirit (cookie baking parties), some are hardships we must endure (office holiday parties) and some are there to remind us that December is a good month for rocking out: the Fourth Annual Hot Dog Sandwich Holiday show.

The duo of Bart and Steff Bell work well together, both as a happily married couple and as the members of Hot Dog Sandwich. After making their own fliers, recording their own CDs and even printing their own T-shirts for more than 15 years as punk/rock/cover band, they know how to throw a party. They’ve invited musical friends The Meatballs, Doubting Thomas and the Heretics, J.A.R., Ben the Drunken Poet and more to help them—and you—get in a celebratory mood, regardless of whether you’re excited about the holidays or just wishing it was already Jan. 2.

—Amy Atkins Monday, Dec. 21, 9 p.m., FREE. Liquid Lounge, 405 S. Eighth St., 208-287-5379.

WWW. B O I S E WE E KLY. C O M

GUIDE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS, WILSON ST, RADILLAC, OHADI—9 p.m. FREE. The Plank ROCK’N AROUND THE X-MAS TREE PARTY—9 p.m. $3. The Whiskey River ROYAL BLISS, ABRUPT EDGE, MOUSY BROWN—7 p.m. $12$35. Knitting Factory SHON SANDERS—8:30 p.m.

FREE. Piper Pub SINGLE CAR GARAGE BAND— 6 p.m. FREE. Seasons Bistro SOUL SERENE—9:30 p.m. $1.

Liquid STACEY WAYNE—See Listen Here, Page 30. 8 p.m. $20 general, $15 children. Nampa Civic Center TAUGE AND FAULKNER— 8:45 p.m. FREE. Pengilly’s WAYNE WHITE—7:30 p.m.

FREE. Music of the Vine

WEEKLY GIGS

HIGH DESERT BAND— Thursdays, 6:30 p.m. FREE. Whitewater Pizza

BEN BURDICK, BILL LILES— Sundays, Noon. FREE. Grape Escape

JAM NIGHT—Wednesdays, 8 p.m. FREE. Montego Bay

TUESDAY DEC. 22

4TH ANNUAL X-TREME HOLIDAY X-TRAVAGANZA—See Picks, Page 22. 6:30 p.m. $25.

Egyptian Theatre

JERRY JOSEPH—Enjoy the religiously profane. 9 p.m. $8 adv., $10 door. Neurolux

BILLY BRAUN—Mondays, 7 p.m. FREE. Chandlers

JIMMY BIVENS—8 p.m. FREE. Sockeye

BILLY ZERA, AWA AND SONY DISC—Saturdays, 7:30 p.m. Mai Thai-Eagle.

RICCARDO RAFFAELE BARTOLOME—Flamenco, La Tuna, Neapolitan songs and other international favorites. 6:30 p.m.

FREE. Corkscrews

BOISE BLUES SOCIETY JAM SESSION—Mondays, 8 p.m.

FREE. Jo’s Sunshine Lounge

JEANNIE MARIE—Fridays, 7 p.m. FREE. Orphan Annie’s

POLYPHONIC POMEGRANATE—Wednesdays, 9 p.m. FREE. Liquid

THE BUCKSHOT BAND—Saturdays, 9 p.m. FREE for anyone in a cowboy hat. Shorty’s

JEREMIAH JAMES AND NED EVETT—Tuesdays, 8 p.m. FREE. Lock Stock & Barrel

PUNK MONDAY—Mondays, 9 p.m. FREE. Liquid

BUD GUDMUNDSON, MATT HARTZ—Thursdays, 6:30 p.m.

FREE. Corkscrews

JEREMIAH JAMES GANG— Wednesdays, 8:45 p.m. FREE. Pengilly’s

COSMIC FAMILY BAND— Wednesdays, 9 p.m. FREE. The Bouquet

JIM FISHWILD—Wednesdays, 6 p.m. FREE. Highlands Hollow

LANDON MAUGHAN—11 a.m.

FREE. Moon’s Kitchen

MONDAY DEC. 21 HOT DOG SANDWICH—See Listen Here, Page 30. 9 p.m.

FREE. Liquid UNTIL YOUR HEART STOPS, ALL HANDS GO, JUMP JETS— 9 p.m. $3. Red Room

WEDNESDAY DEC. 23 FUNK AND SOUL CHRISTMAS PARTY—With Emily Braden.

8:30 p.m. $5. Reef

COUNTRY NIGHT—Featuring Kissin 92.3 with Steve Shannon.

Fridays, 9 p.m. FREE. Cowgirls

NIBIRU—9 p.m. Terrapin Station REBECCA SCOTT—9 p.m. FREE. Liquid TRIXIE BLUMEL

WWW. B OISEWEEKLY.C O M

Thomas Paul

Emily Braden

JAZZ NIGHTS—Monday-Saturday, 6:30 p.m. FREE. Berryhill; Thursdays, 7 p.m. FREE. Rembrandt’s; Featuring Kevin Kirk Tuesday-Saturday and The Sidemen on Sundays. 7 p.m., FREE, Chandlers

JIM LEWIS—Sundays, 11 a.m.

FREE. Focaccia’s JOHN CAZAN—Fridays, 5 p.m.

FREE. Lock, Stock & Barrel

COUNTRY AND TOP 40—Saturdays, 9 p.m. $5. Cowgirls

JOHNNY SHOES—Wednesdays, 6 p.m. Lock Stock & Barrel

DAVID MARR—Fridays, 7 p.m.

FREE. The Cole/Marr Gallery

LIVE LOUNGE—Fridays and Saturdays, 8 p.m. FREE. The Gamekeeper

FABULOUS FLOYD STANTON— Wednesdays, 6 p.m. FREE. Cafe Ole-downtown FRIM FRAM 4—Thursdays, 8:45 p.m. FREE. Pengilly’s

Radillac

FREE. Bittercreek; Wednesdays, 7 p.m. FREE. Pitchers and Pints

SUNDAY DEC. 20

FUEGOGO!—Tuesdays, 9:30 p.m. FREE. Terrapin Station

LIVE SETS—Fridays, 10 p.m.

NATHAN J MOODY & THE QUARTERTONS—Hendrix inspired, this local band brings a blues rock passion unique to our area. Wednesdays, 9 p.m.

FREE. Liquid NOCTURNUM WITH DJ BONES—Sundays, 9 p.m. FREE. Terrapin Station

ROBIN SCOTT—Saturdays, 7 p.m. FREE. Orphan Annie’s ROCCI JOHNSON BAND— Wednesdays and Fridays, 9:30 p.m. FREE. Hannah’s SMOOTH—Tuesdays, 7 p.m.

FREE. Liquid SOUL SERENE—Tuesdays, 7:30 p.m. FREE. Ha’Penny SPINDLE BOMB—Fridays and Saturdays, 9 p.m. $3. Grainey’s THOMAS PAUL—Sundays, 10 a.m. and Mondays, 7 p.m. FREE. Red Feather THE TIX—Wednesdays, 9 p.m.

FREE. The Buffalo Club

V E N U E S Don’t know a venue? Visit www.boiseweekly.com for addresses, phone numbers and a map.

BOISEweekly

| DECEMBER 16–22, 2009 | 31

NEWS/ARTS ARTS/VISUAL

Being royalty is so not a drag.

DIAMONDS ARE A DRAG QUEEN’S BEST FRIEND The 32nd Reign of the Imperial Sovereign Gem Court of Idaho invites all sparkling diamond empresses and sapphire phoenix emperors to Neurolux on Friday, Dec. 18, from 9-11 p.m. for a night of dragtacular revelry.

If that previous sentence sounded like unicorn Latin to you, then it’s time to acquaint yourself with the ISGCI, a 30-yearold local nonprofit organization that raises funds to support various individuals in need, like HIV patients and LGBT college students. Each year, the court, as it’s called, crowns members with a range of titles like emperor and empress, crown princess, imperial czar and czarina, grand duke and duchess, imperial sultana, marquessa, and gentleman and lady in waiting.

Friday’s 8 Crazy Nights throwdown at Neurolux, hosted by His Most Imperial Sovereign Majesty, The Effervescent Blue Diamond, Emperor XXXII of all Idaho The Surreal JD Manhattan Starr St. James Morgan is sure to feature a blinding amount of sparkling bling and more 48 double D’s than a Lane Bryant catalog.

For more information, visit idahogem cour t.org.

Speaking of spectacularly tricked-out things, Record Exchange unveiled its artcovered Munnys last First Thursday, and the bidding will continue until Monday, Dec. 21. For the uninitiated, Munnys are Kidrobot vinyl toys that local artists use as blank canvases to create custom designs, which are then auctioned off for charity. This year’s beneficiary is Interfaith Sanctuary Housing Services. Artists who submitted Munnys this year include Sean Wyett, Shelly McCarl, Chris and Peggy Parker, Grant Olsen, Eric Bunnell, Erik Payne, E.J. Pettinger, Toby Robin, Renda Palmer, Noble Hardesty, Jerms Lanningham, Eli and Lisa Pisano, Cate Brigden, John Padlo, Erin Cunningham, Julia Green, Tony Rios, Heather Bauer and Cody Evans. To spend your money on a Munny, head down to Record Exchange 1105 W. Idaho St. or bid on them at Curtis Stigers’ Xtreme Holiday Xtravaganza on Sunday, Dec. 20, at the Egyptian Theatre.

Speaking of raising munny for a good cause, local large-scale portrait artist Laci McCrea is auctioning off five of her pieces at Tully’s Coffee on Capitol Boulevard and Idaho Street. McCrea will donate 100 percent of the profits raised in the silent auction to local charities—50 percent to the Women’s and Children’s Alliance and 50 percent to the Children’s Home Society.

Bids will be accepted until Thursday, Dec. 17, at 5 p.m. Visit lacimccrea.com.

THE ASCETICS OF PAPER Collector gives BAM an idea

BY E.J. PETTINGER In a culture as visually glutted as ours, there can be something very pleasing about the ascetic embodiments of “idea art,” a respite from the visual onslaughts to which we’re accustomed. When you’ve spent the day being pummeled by advertising, one of William Anastasi’s “unsighted” subway series drawings, with its two little clouds of vibratory scribble floating near the top of a small, creamy square of plain paper, is Elise Kaufman, Untitled, graphite, gesso, china marker, pen and collage on paper, 1994 calming. Of course, as Art, its claims run much deeper. In this case, the term idea art to refers loosely to a vein of art that often suous and aesthetically communicative. and revolutionary combatants and more like stresses intellectual over aesthetic presence Some idea art slips back toward the pleaan insular group of nuns and monks hunkerand has been deeply concerned with the sures of aesthetics. Christine Hiebert’s line ing down in an attempt to claim some terriidea of Art and the idea of the Artist. tory they could call their own. Scientists were has appeal. Julia Mangold’s graphite works, Boise Art Museum has recently acquired making claims that stretched from elementary along with the piece by the late Sol LeWitt, one of those little drawings, along with have graphic presence, but to really appreciparticles, through human DNA, out to the 22 more, all in the form of a gift from the ate work like Steven Gwon’s graph paper celebrated New York collector and educator surface of the moon, and entertainers were study, or Mel Bochner’s ruler project with claiming the hearts and souls of the masses.

Werner Kramarsky. The museum is curits tantalizing residue of erasure, you need What was left? Art itself, of course. rently displaying the group of works under to be a believer. And when the reductionSo, they hunkered down, renounced the title “Idea as Art.” ist effect is pushed as far as Bronlyn Jones’ Kramarsky began seriously collecting art subjective distractions like emotion and piece pushes, it can become too gaudy and illustrative references in the middle of the ridiculous, in its way, for even the most to the world and belast century and has committed art world devotee. gan to pursue a form taken a particular The great thing about Kramarsky’s colof purity. Making art interest in minimalExhibit runs through April 2010. became about making lection of works on paper is the nature of ist, post-minimalist BOISE ART MUSEUM things on paper. Paper has humility. art, and the more and conceptual works 670 Julia Davis Drive For this kind of art to be healthy, it rigorous one could be on paper. The show 208-345-8330 has to be open about its mystical belief in about this tautoincludes works by boiseartmuseum.org logical apotheosis the art’s pure importance. And, maybe most pioneers of idea art, importantly, it has to live the way monks closer one would get Sol LeWitt and Mel do, right up next to the nagging possibilto becoming a kind Bochner, as well as ity that it might all be an empty projecof oracle. It was as newer members of the tion, that they’ve simply made importance if there was a special kind of truth only art club like Christine Hiebert and could explore and only artists had access to. out of a need for importance. But the art Eve Aschheim. world doesn’t work that way. The possibilSol LeWitt’s now famous “Sentences on In the beginning, idea art’s break with Conceptual Art” begins, “Conceptual artists ity of an over inflated worth isn’t good for visual art seemed positively mental to some investment values. The fact that this show are mystics rather than rationalists. They and generated enough disdain to be called leap to conclusions that logic cannot reach.” is made small and ephemeral by being on revolutionary. Experts in the field are still paper helps nudge it back toward the risk Interested parties will also enjoy his willing to describe it in terms normally and reality of humility.

Paragraphs on Conceptual Art. Read them used for more heroic episodes. But lookStand in front of Anastasi’s subway together and ask yourself if anything could ing back at things, it seems like a logical drawing. Now, imagine you aren’t in a be more overtly religious. development of modernism’s desire to museum, you’re on the subway. The man How different in spirit are Anastasi’s grant art its autonomy. Idea art pushes the next to you has a drawing board across his “sightless” drawings and Joseph Smith’s intellectual presence of a work by renouncwork with his Urim and Thummim? To this lap. He is holding a pencil in each hand at ing its sensual presence; it can seem like day, when people are confronted with work right angles to his body and allowing the an ascetic exercise. Add to that the fact movement of the train to guide the pencils like this, they become, well, a little mystithat such distillations also wick up another across a small piece of paper. His eyes are fied. And it’s not because they’re stupid. of art’s modern purities, namely, its pure closed. He knows it is foolish and needy to importance, and it starts to seem downright It’s because the main effect of idea art’s be doing such a thing and that there is only reductionism effects is to mystify. Unlike religious in nature. a chance it is channeling anything of value. the minimalism of, say, Charles Gill’s chip The minimalists, post-minimalists and Now we’re getting somewhere. paintings, which seem wholeheartedly senconceptualists seem less like brave explorers

—Tara Morgan

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SCREEN

A SPLENDID SPORTS SCHMUCK Patton Oswalt scores in Big Fan JEREMIAH ROBERT WIERENGA Viewing a football game on TV from the stadium parking lot would be a frustrating experience. With a televised delay of up to eight seconds, the ticketholders’ audible reactions would telegraph the results of vital plays long before they hit your set.

Conversely, it might build an eight-second Patton Oswalt may himself find new big fans after his award-worthy turn in this difficult drama about how our anticipation for huge turnovers. Watching heroes are made, not born.

Big Fan by screenwriter (The Wrestler) and first-time director Robert D. Siegel mirrors lead the horse to water. It’s a devastating Bishop on suspension. With a looming this. While the signs point toward a certain method of revolt, but it’s the only control matchup against rivals the Philadelphia unhappy outcome, we are glued to the Paul has over his life. screen, hoping for an amazing and transfor- Eagles, the Giants’ chances of success seem Comedian Oswalt—best known for voicto ride on Paul’s decision to press charges or mative about-face. ing the rat Remy in Ratatouille (2007)—endeny his hero did any wrong.

In the world of Paul Aufiero (Patton acts both Paul’s fomenting frustration and Some will view Big Fan as an examinaOswalt), the New York Giants football gleeful immaturity with assurance and tion of the idolatry of American sports, the team is King and Country, with defensive aplomb. It’s a great performance, never slavish devotion and near-spiritual fervency star Quantrell Bishop (Jonathan Hamm) showy or slapstick. While we hate what he’s with which some as the allegiencedoing to himself, we sort of love this guy. sports worshipers worthy monarch.

BIG FAN (R) Corrigan and Kurtz deliver solid support, organize their lives.

Paul is a relentlessly and Michael Rapaport’s late-act appearance That may be Siegel’s obsessive enthusiast Directed by Robert Siegel as a rival fanatic is superb. intent, but the film who scripts trashStars Patton Oswalt, Kevin Corrigan, Writer/director Siegel debuts with a few comes across much talking rants while Jonathan Hamm glaring first-time flubs: odd, unilluminatstronger as a story at his parking lot Now playing at The Flicks ing camera pans, character discontinuity of personal choices. attendant job, then (we never learn why Sal doesn’t testify) and Paul reacts to the delivers them during overly repeated shots of Bishop’s physique recommendations a nighttime call-in and bling. But Big Fan’s story line is exceland successes of his older siblings with an show—to the everlasting frustration of his lent. The film’s final few minutes—where a abruptness that doesn’t indicate a rejection sleeping mother (Marcia Jean Kurtz) with literally two-faced Paul infiltrates a Philadelof their “normalized” lifestyles, but rather whom he lives. Paul is a schlub, a 36-yearan automatic response to their intervention. phia sports bar—cleverly constructs doubt as old idler who is solely interested in a team to Paul’s direction in life. Is he abandoning he can’t even afford a ticket to go see. After As the youngest of three, he’s been subject his life in Staten Island? Is he re-examining to their example and advice his whole life, he and fellow ne’er-do-well Sal (Kevin Corhis choice of friends and influences? Or is he and his commitment to his sad-sack situarigan) spot and subsequently follow Bishop simply trying out another side of fandom? tion is a rebellion, an assertion of his own to a Manhattan nightclub, Paul’s innocent Big Fan’s final turnover isn’t quite what you freedom as an adult. You can lead a horse encounter with the bruiser leads to a brutal expect, so don’t leave the game early. to water, but you can’t make the cowboy beat down that lands Paul in the ER and

SCREEN/LISTINGS special screenings RIFFTRAX LIVE: CHRISTMAS SHORTS-STRAVAGANZA—This December, Mystery Science Theater 3000 alums Michael J. Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett return to theaters across the country to rip on favorite Christmas classics. Joined by special guest Weird Al Yankovic, the group will zing their brand of wisecracking comedy at multiple holiday shorts. Expect to see Rudolph joyously taken apart, and prepare yourself

for a hilarious musical short extolling the virtues of pork.

Rifftrax continued to grow in popularity even after MST3K ended, so don’t miss what is sure to be an unconventional Christmas classic. Wed., Dec. 16, 6 p.m. $12.50.

Edwards Spectrum 22, 7701 W. Overland Road, Boise, 208-377-1700, www.uatc. com.

opening AVATAR—James Cameron (Aliens, Titanic) is back as

WWW. B OISEWEEKLY.C O M

both director and writer of this graphically gorgeous, 3D sci-fi flick. Paraplegic war vet Jake Sully (Sam Worthington) is sent to the planet Pandora to make contact with the planet’s natives, the Na’vi, through an avatar.

Hopefully his avatar can also help stem the rising conflict between the humans and the Na’vi. Critics are calling this one “jaw-dropping,” “mindblowing” and “the most dazzling film of the decade,” ... and they aren’t just talking about the $400 million price tag. (PG-13) Edwards 9, Edwards 22

DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE MORGANS?—Paul (Hugh Grant) and Meryl Morgan’s (Sarah Jessica Parker) marriage is on the rocks and divorce is looming. But in a classic big-city-folks-headto-a-small-town-to-learn-theimportant-things-in-life twist, the two witness a murder and are forced to enter the witness protection program in rural Wyoming. Will the simple life bring them back together? (PG-13) Edwards 9 ME AND ORSON WELLES— Richard Linklater’s latest film follows teenager Richard

Samuels (Zac Efron) as he’s thrust into the role of Lucius in Orson Welles’ (Christian McKay) production of Julius Caesar. Set in 1937 New York, the film chronicles Samuels’ experience at the newly opened Mercury Theatre and his budding love for production assistant Sonja Jones (Claire Danes).

(R) Flicks PRECIOUS: BASED ON THE NOVEL “PUSH” BY SAPPHIRE—Newcomer Gabby Sidibe stars as Precious Jones, an overweight, illiterate teen who suffers

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| DECEMBER 16–22, 2009 | 33

SCREEN/LISTINGS physical and emotional abuse at the hands of her mother and is pregnant—for the second time— by her father. When she enrolls in an alternative school, Ms. Rain (Paula Patton) shows her that though “life is hard, life is short and life is painful, life is also rich.

And life is precious.” Also stars Mo’Nique and Mariah Carey. (R) Flicks

continuing 2012—Dec. 21, 2012, marks the end of the Mayan calendar. This date—significant to multiple civilizations, religions and scientists— will mark a dangerous shift in the world we know ... in this movie at least. (PG-13) Edwards 9, Edwards 22 A CHRISTMAS CAROL—Disney presents the classic tale of Ebenezer Scrooge (Jim Carrey), whose nasty attitude is changed after visits from the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Yet-to-Come (Jim Carrey). (PG) Edwards 22 Digital 3D, Edwards IMAX AN EDUCATION—It’s 1960s London and teenager Jenny (Carey Mulligan) meets and falls for the charming and much older David (Peter Sarsgaard). She forgets her struggle to get into Oxford and, the more time she spends with David, the more she forgets who she really is. Screenplay by Nick Hornby (High Fidelity). (PG-13) Flicks ARMORED—Tensions run high when a brand-new armored truck guard is convinced by his coworkers to steal a truck carrying $42 million in cold, hard cash. When things go awry, the only way some of them are getting out of the situation may be on stretchers. Stars Matt Dillon, Laurence Fishburn.

(PG-13) Edwards 22 BIG FAN—Comedian Patton Oswalt stars in this dramatic directorial debut from Robert D. Siegel (he wrote The Wrestler).

Paul Aufiero (Oswalt) lives with his mother, is a parking garage attendant and is a diehard NY Giants fan. When he meets his favorite player, Quantrell Bishop (Jonathan Hamm), what should be the best day of Paul’s life becomes the worst when Bishop beats Paul badly enough to put him in the hospital. Paul must then struggle with outside pressures from his family, friends, lawyers, the Giants and the media as well as an inner struggle against his own belief system. (R) Ends Thursday Flicks THE BLIND SIDE—This film tracks the story of Michael Oher (Quinton Aaron), a homeless African American high school student who was taken in by Leigh Anne Tuohy (Sandra Bullock) and her wealthy white family. Oher goes on to academic success and an NFL football career. (PG-13) Edwards 22, Edwards 9 BOONDOCK SAINTS II: ALL SAINTS DAY—Gratuitous violence. Yes. Blatant religious expression. Yes. The MacManus brothers are back in Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day. Death to everyone is gonna come. (R) Edwards 22, Edwards 9 BROTHERS—This war drama’s star-studded cast—which includes Jake Gyllenhaal, Natalie Portman and Tobey Maguire—portray how the victims of war aren’t always those fighting it. When her husband Sam (Maguire) goes missing

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SCREEN/MOVIE TIMES WEDNESDAY, DEC. 16 - TUESDAY, DEC. 22 2012—

Edwards 9: W-Th: 3:45, 7:05, 10:35; F-Tu: 10:40 Edwards 22: W-Th: 11:40, 3, 6:25, 9:50

A CHRISTMAS CAROL, DIGITAL 3D— Edwards 22: W-Th: 11:30, 1:45, 4:10, 6:45, 9:10 A CHRISTMAS CAROL, IMAX 3D— Edwards 22: W-Th: 11:45, 2:10, 4:35, 7, 9:25 AN EDUCATION— ARMORED—

Flicks: W-Th: 5:20, 7:20, 9:20; F-Su: 12:25, 9:15; M-Tu: 9:15 Edwards 22: W-Th: 12:45, 3:15, 5:30, 7:45, 9:55

AVATAR—

Edwards 9: F-Tu: 12:20, 12:45, 3:40, 4:05, 7, 7:25, 10:20, 10:45 Edwards 22: Th: 12:02 a.m.

AVATAR, DIGITAL 3D—

Edwards 22: Th: 12:01 a.m.

AVATAR, IMAX 3D—

Edwards 22: Th: 12:01 a.m.

BIG FAN—

Flicks: W-Th only: 5:05, 7:05, 9:05

THE BLIND SIDE— Edwards 9: F-Tu: 1:05, 4:20, 7:10, 10:05 Edwards 22: W-Th: 12:55, 1:40, 4:05, 4:35, 6:50, 7:30, 9:40, 10:20 BOONDOCK SAINTS II: ALL SAINTS DAY— Edwards 9: W-Th: 1:35, 4:35, 7:40, 10:30; F-Tu: 12:50, 4:10, 7:55 Edwards 22: W-Th: 11:35, 2:10, 5, 7:40 BROTHERS—

Edwards 9: W-Th: 1:10, 3:50, 7, 9:45; F-Tu: 1:15, 4:35, 7:45, 10:25 Edwards 22: W-Th: 1:10, 3:50, 6:40, 9:15

DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE MORGANS?— Edwards 9: F-Tu: 12:30, 3:50, 7:30, 9:55 EVERYBODY’S FINE—

Edwards 9: W-Th only: 1:50, 4:10, 7:50, 10:10 Edwards 22: W-Th: 12:20, 2:55, 5:20, 8, 10:15

FANTASTIC MR. FOX—

Edwards 9: W-Th only: 1:45, 4:05, 7:45, 9:55 Edwards 22: W-Th: 11:55, 2:25, 4:40, 7:15, 9:35

INVICTUS—

Edwards 9: W-Th: 1:15, 4:15, 7:20, 10:15; F-Tu: 1, 3:55, 7:15, 10:10 Edwards 22: W-Th: 12:40, 1, 4, 4:25, 7, 7:40, 10

ME AND ORSON WELLES— Flicks: F-Su: 12:35, 2:50, 5:05, 7:20, 9:35; M-Tu: 5:05, 7:20, 9:35 MEN WHO STARE AT GOATS— Edwards 22: W-Th: 12, 2:30, 5:05, 7:25, 10:10 THE MESSENGER— Flicks: W-Th: 5, 7:15, 9:30; F-Su: 2:35, 4:45, 7:05; M-Tu: 4:45, 7:05 NEW MOON—

Edwards 9: W-Th: 1:25, 4:25, 7:25, 10:25; F-Tu: 1:20, 4:40, 7:40, 10:35 Edwards 22: W-Th: 12:30, 12:50, 1:30, 3:30, 3:55, 6:30, 7, 9:30, 10:05 NINJA ASSASSIN—

Edwards 22: W-Th: 11:50, 2:20, 4:55, 7:20, 9:45

OLD DOGS—

Edwards 22: W-Th: 12:10, 2:35, 4:50, 7:05, 9:25

PLANET 51—

Edwards 22: W-Th: 11:40, 2, 4:15, 6:35, 8:55

PRECIOUS—

Flicks: F-Su: 2, 4:30, 7, 9:25; M-Tu: 4:30, 7, 9:25

PRINCESS AND THE FROG—

Edwards 9: W-Th: 1:30, 4:30, 7:30, 9:50; F-Tu: 12:35, 4:25, 6:55, 9:50 Edwards 22: W-Th: 11:35, 11:45, 1:10, 1:50, 2:15, 3:40, 4:15, 4:45, 6, 6:40, 7:10, 8:15, 9, 9:30

THE PRIVATE LIVES OF PIPPA LEE— Flicks: W-Th: 5:10, 7:10, 9:10; F-Su: 1:10, 3:10, 5:10, 7:10, 9:10; M-Tu: 5:10, 7:10, 9:10

T H E A T E R S Edwards 22 Boise, 208-377-1700, www.regmovies.com; Edwards 9 Boise, 208-338-3821, www.regmovies.com; The Egyptian Theater, 208-345-0454, www.egyptiantheatre.net; The Flicks, 208-342-4222, www.theflicksboise.com; FOR SECOND-RUN MOVIES: Northgate Cinema, Towne Square Reel, Country Club Reel, Nampa Reel, 208-377-2620, www.reeltheatre.com.

Overland Park $1 Cinema, 208-377-3072, www.opcmovies.com.

Movie times listed were correct as of press time.

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LISTINGS/SCREEN in action in Afghanistan, Grace (Portman) turns to his younger brother Tommy (Gyllenhaal) for comfort. When Sam returns home, what he sees happening between Tommy and Grace and what is really happening between them may not be the same thing. (R) Edwards 9, Edwards 22

FANTASTIC MR. FOX—Inspired by the work of Roald Dahl and directed by Wes Anderson. Discover the fabulous world of Mr. Fox (George Clooney) and his super-sneaky-spy crew on a mission to keep the rude and rowdy farmers from demolishing their homes. (PG) Edwards 9 Ends Thursday, Edwards 22

EVERYBODY’S FINE—When a widower (Robert De Niro) gets dissed by his busy kids for the holidays (Drew Barrymore, Kate Beckinsale, Sam Rockwell), he takes a road trip to visit them.

What he observes about their real lives is less than perfect, but all the more human. (PG-13) Edwards 9 Ends Thursday, Edwards 22

INVICTUS—Clint Eastwood directs. Morgan Freeman stars as Nelson Mandela who, during his first term as president of South Africa, tried to bring the nation together by pushing the national rugby team to win the 1995 Rugby World Cup in a move to unite his apartheid-torn country. The title Invictus is taken from the poem

VIDIOT/SCREEN NEW FIND, OLD MOVIE: GUY FROM NEXT CUBICLE DOWN PREFERS SELLECK ’STACHE TO STAR WARS When you’ve labeled yourself a Vidiot, you’d better believe the topic of conversation in your vicinity is often film. But chitchat can only last (or remain interesting) so long when I’m the one doing all the talking. So I’ve taken to asking others about their favorite films. Not only does it generate quality small talk, but it also gives me an excuse to add titles to my Netflix queue I might other wise have overlooked.

A favorite of my co-worker Shane—the guy occupying the cubicle next to me for the last year and a half—is 1990’s Quigley Down Under.

“With Tom Selleck? That’s your favorite film?” I scoffed. I’d heard of it, but never thought to watch it, somehow always confusing the name with Disney’s The Rescuers Down Under.

“It’s just a lot of fun,” he replied. “Watch it and see for yourself.”

Strangely enough, killing time awaiting my flight back to the mainland from my Hawaiian honeymoon a few months back, I found Selleck’s face peeking at me from a $5 bargain bin in the island superstore—and couldn’t resist buying it. It got buried in a stack of junk when I got home, but this weekend, I finally dug it out.

The story, in short: Wyoming sharpshooter Matthew Quigley (Selleck) is summoned to Australia by rancher Elliott Marston (Alan Rickman) to kill off encroaching dingoes. But on arrival, Quigley discovers his real task is to pick off pesky Aborigines— a job he refuses. A fight ensues, and with a price now placed on his head, Quigley has to fight off Marston’s whole gang and survive the Outback, assisted only by a certifiably insane woman (Laura San Giacomo, Pretty Woman) from a nearby town.

Selleck carries over his Magnum, P.I. likability (and killer moustache), Rickman’s villainous portrayal is somewhere in between his turns as Die Hard’s Hans Gruber and Robin Hood’s Sheriff of Nottingham, and San Giacomo shows way more versatility than her roles in Pretty Woman and Just Shoot Me. With Australian Simon Wincer, director of the famed miniseries Lonesome Dove, on set, the film certainly feels like a credible Western.

I won’t necessarily be adding this title to the list of my own favorite films, but I can see why Shane likes it. Besides, considering he’s the company IT guy, I give him props for never once broaching the topic of typical computer geek favorite, Star Wars—even though his cat is named Chewbacca.

—Travis Estvold WWW. B OISEWEEKLY.C O M

of the same name—written by William E. Henley—which inspired Mandela during the nearly 30 years he was jailed for speaking out against apartheid. (PG-13) Edwards 9, Edwards 22 THE MEN WHO STARE AT GOATS—When journalist Bob Wilton (Ewan McGregor) starts looking into a super secret U.S. Army division of psychic spies, he finds Lyn Cassady (George Clooney). After Cassady is called up for a special mission, Wilton convinces Cassady to let him tag along. (R) Edwards 22 THE MESSENGER—Marking the directorial debut of Oren Moverman, this Sundance favorite features Ben Foster as Will Montgomery, an emotionally detached soldier reassigned to the Army’s Casualty Notification service.

Partnered with fellow officer Tony Stone (Woody Harrelson), Will struggles with his mission as he tries to let his own healing begin.

(R) Flicks NINJA ASSASSIN—Raised to become a ninja assassin, a betrayal pits Raizo (Korean pop star, Rain) against the very clan he was raised to protect. Directed by James McTiegue (V for Vendetta), this is a bloody, action-packed flick. (R) Edwards 22 OLD DOGS—The director of Wild Hogs revisits the theme of old guys trying to stay young. Best friends and business partners Dan (Robin Williams) and Charlie (John Travolta) are faced with the challenge of raising children while simultaneously embarking on the biggest business deal of their career. It’s a lot of cliches and a little bit of mildly funny Disney humor. (PG) Edwards 22 PLANET 51—Astronaut Chuck Baker (voiced by Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson) lands on a far away planet inhabited by happy little green men. But they aren’t the ETs, he is. The “people” of Planet 51 think he’s a dangerous alien. Baker enlists the help of his nerdy new friend Lem (voiced

by Justin Long) to get back to his spaceship and planet Earth. (PG) Edwards 22 THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG—Walt Disney’s latest animated feature film, set in the French Quarter of New Orleans, is a take on the Grimm brothers’ classic The Frog Prince. But in this story, the girl kisses a frog and turns into a frog herself. Only Bayou voodoo priestess Mama Odie can help change them back.

(G) Edwards 9, Edwards 22 THE PRIVATE LIVES OF PIPPA LEE—It’s often the perfect housewives who conceal the most sordid pasts. When New Yorker Pippa Lee (Robin Wright Penn) moves with her older husband (Alan Arkin) to a Connecticut retirement community, she begins to slowly fall apart. A new love interest (Keanu Reeves) becomes a muchneeded confidant. (R) Flicks THE TWILIGHT SAGA: NEW MOON—Following the romance of Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart), a teenager recently transplanted to cold and wet Forks, Wash., and Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson), her vampire boyfriend. As the dangers of a human/vampire relationship increase daily, Edward makes the difficult decision to uproot his family, leaving Bella to find comfort in her old friend Jacob (Taylor Lautner), and learns he, too, holds secrets. (PG-13) Edwards 9, Edwards 22

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| DECEMBER 16–22, 2009 | 35

NEWS/REC REC

Need an excuse to validate your caffeine addiction?

Joyride Cycles in Hyde Park has teamed up with Dawson Taylor to create a privatelabel brew to be sold at the bike shop benefiting the Idaho Velodrome and Cycling Park in Eagle.

Owner Philip Vega is donating all proceeds from coffee sales to the velodrome to help the park expand and improve trails.

“The bike park is a great thing and not a lot of people know about it,” he said. “We need to raise money to sustain it ... it’s the least I can do to help.”

The medium-roast coffee sells for $11.99 per pound and is available in the store at 1306 Alturas St., or online at joyride-cycles.com. Vega said he has no real goal for fund-raising totals, although he wouldn’t mind being able to donate $1.1 million to finish the park.

Depending on the success of the velodrome coffee sales, Vega said he hopes to do similar fundraisers for other bike-centric groups, including Boise Bicycle Project and the Southwest Idaho Mountain Biking Association. For more information, call 208-9470017 or visit joyride-cycles.com.

IN SEARCH OF SNOW In the continuing quest for fresh tracks, Sun Valley Resort has opened more of the mountain for the season.

The resort opened three additional runs on Baldy Dec. 11—Ridge, Blue Grouse and Lower College—meaning that the majority of the River Run and Warm Springs areas of the mountain are now open, although Seattle Ridge remains closed for the time being. River Run, Challenger and Christmas lifts are all open, as well as the new Roundhouse Gondola and Kinderspielplatz.

And, in a sign that the season might actually be starting, Dollar Mountain opened for the season after an abbreviated stint during the Thanksgiving weekend. The entire hill is now open, including the tubing hill.

Check sunvalley.com for updated information and ski reports.

No word yet on an opening date for Bogus Basin, but the resort has the mountain ready to go as soon as there is enough snow. With that in mind, Bogus officials are asking you to please stop poaching the hill.

You might be anxious, but they’re trying to build up a base, thank you very much, so help them by staying off until opening.

In other Bogus news ... There’s the good: Bogus is saving $70,000 per year.

And the bad: They’re doing it by ending ski and snowboard check in. Instead, new racks are available at Black Diamond Sports, where skiers and boarders can rent low-cost combination locks.

For now, we suggest a snow dance.

NATHANIEL HOFFM AN

CAFFEINE CYCLE

SKIING APRESAPOCALYPSE Private winter wonderland sits idle this winter NATHANIEL HOFFMAN From 6,000 feet up, shin deep in decent, mid-mountain powder, Tamarack Resort could be any old ski hill after the apocalypse. Not a soul is around. The wooden signposts that once named the resort’s runs stand blank, staving off insurance claims from lost or injured poachers. The Tyvekwrapped and abandoned $105 million Village Plaza project—what was to be the heart of this billion-dollar central Idaho resort—rises above scenic Lake Cascade. A cold, immobilized crane rises even higher above the scenery, which arguably rivals any ski-to-lake viewshed anywhere.

It was too early to get in many turns, but about a few dozen people made the haul up here on a recent weekend, lounging in front of the fireplaces in brand-spanking-new ski chalets, pumping up the still gleaming stereos and flat screen TVs, soaking in the ubiquitous hot tubs (without fear of voyeurs), wandering into the Lodge at Osprey Meadows in search of signs that some of the human race has survived.

Dean Holmes, a former Tamarack employee who now works for Tamarack homeowners maintaining the public areas of the lodge, said it was surprisingly busy during the golf season. But he admits the resort needs a winter salvation.

“There’s nothing without the skiing,” Holmes said.

Holmes and many of the people who bought homes at Tamarack or depend on the resort for income in Valley County are optimistic that a buyer will schuss in and save the six-year-young project.

“There’s too much infrastructure to just let it sit,” Holmes told me as I warmed up in the lodge with my party of six, munching on canned nuts that we had packed in.

But for now, with control of the resort— and the fate of scores of creditors—dependent on a recent involuntary bankruptcy filing or a March foreclosure hearing, even a sensible cat-skiing plan for the hill, on which many boosters were depending, is now in doubt.

Mac Mackaben, a veteran powder guide and professional bird hunter from Jackson, Wyo., has been in McCall tuning up Tamarack’s three snowcats and waiting for snow. His plan was to run a shuttle from the base of Tamarack to the top to give a limited

Dean Holmes checks his list, behind the Lodge at Osprey Meadows at Tamarack.

number of people a “controlled backcountry experience.”

“It might be some goodwill for people because people have been stung real bad,” Mackaben said.

Mackaben planned to charge $18 to $20 per run, and said he’d be able to farm out the powder so that skiers would get freshies on most runs. He also wants to run a snowtubing concession. But now his plan has hit some snags with insurance and licensing and remains tentative.

Still, Tamarack is a convenient pile of snow, close to Boise with tons of skiable terrain and cheap deals on places to stay—call them cabins if you like—right at the base.

The problem is the mountain is technically private property, though most of it sits on state endowment land. Tamarack is current on its $250,000 state land lease payments, according to George Bacon, director of the Idaho Department of Lands, though another payment is due in January.

So what can you do at Tamarack? You could hike up, but the management (what’s left of it) frowns upon that. However, one “official” told me he would not be chasing skiers up the mountain, even though hiking up could be considered trespassing.

Another option is to go in from the Poison Creek drainage south of the resort.

Tamarack had a permit from the Boise National Forest to conduct guided backcountry ski operations on some 5,000 acres there, but the permit has been abandoned, according to Carol McCoy Brown, district ranger in Cascade.

McCoy Brown said the area is now open

to snowmobilers or skiers who want to skin up. The drainage will take you to the top of West Mountain, where there is plenty of National Forest land to access if you take proper avalanche and winter travel precautions.

Of course, even that plan depends on more snow rather than the dry cold of 16 below that Long Valley experienced last week.

“What the winter is going to be like is the great big unknown,” said Cyndi Bonetti, who manages 81 homes at Tamarack, including many rentals. “If Mother Nature blesses us with snow, they will come.”

Bonetti, who rented us a fully loaded three-story duplex at the base of the mountain for $100 a night (plus a steep cleaning fee), is ready to wheel and deal for rentals, even on craigslist, if need be.

“When Tamarack closed last March, the big scare was, there won’t be anything to do,” said Bonetti. She was the resort’s seventh employee in 2003 but got out a few years before Tamarack declared bankruptcy and closed last spring.

But Bonetti said that everyone who stays here enjoys the peace and tranquility, though many wish for a restaurant. (I’d settle for a mere bar; hell, they’re allowed a dozen liquor licenses or something.)

Doug Dvorak, an international humorous motivational speaker from Chicago who built a house at Tamarack in 2005, still plans to spend the winter here and is expecting a few limited winter amenities.

“It’s just going to be a really different way for people to enjoy the mountain,” he said. “If I need a downhill fix with a lift, I just go to Brundage.”

—Deanna Darr

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| DECEMBER 16–22, 2009 | BOISEweekly

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LISTINGS/REC Events & Classes 13 DAYS OF WINTER—Campus Recreation at Boise State is offering a 13-day rental for the price of four days. Pick up any rentals on Dec. 22 and don’t return them until Jan. 4. For more information, visit rec. boisestate.edu or call Geoff Harrison at Campus Recreation at 208-426-2628 or e-mail at gharriso@boisestate.edu. Tue., Dec. 22. Boise State Rec Center, 1515 University Drive, Boise, 208-426-5641, 208-426-1131, rec.boisestate.edu.

ARGENTINE TANGO WORKSHOP—Portland Tanguero Jay Rabe will lead participants in a variety of workshops designed for both beginner and experienced dancers. Sign up for the full course, or pop in for varied lessons including Secrets of Tango Flow: Fundamentals for Leaders and Followers, Tango QiGong and Starry Night Xmas Milonga, a fabulous dance party and social. A class and practica will also be held on Dec. 17 at Boise Cafe. For the full schedule and to sign up, visit www.boisetango.com or contact Marge Dobie at 208-761-3954. Dec. 17-19. $50 for entire workshop, prices vary for individual classes.

Limelight, 3575 E. Copper Point Way, Meridian, 208-898-9425, www.limelightboise.com.

HOLIDAY BASKETBALL CAMPS—Boise Parks and Recreation and Hard2Guard Basketball are hosting four basketball camps for kids ages 5-17. Camps are divided by age at four participating locations: ages 6-8, Whitney Community Center, 1609 Owyhee St.; ages 9-11, Fort Boise Community Center, 700 Robbins Road; ages 12-14, Morley Nelson Community Center, 7701 W. Northview St.; and ages 15-17, Grace Jordan Community Center, 6411 W. Fairfield. Camps will help beginners learn the basics of basketball through interaction with former college and semi-pro basketball players. To register, see online registration at www.cityofboise. org/parks, call 208-384-4486, or stop by Fort Boise Community Center, 700 Robbins Road. Dec. 21-23 and Dec. 28-30, 10 a.m.noon. $41 per three-day session, scholarships are available.

IDAHO MOUNTAIN RECREATION MONTHLY MEETING—Idaho Mountain Recreation is a club for all ages with outdoor interests focusing on non-motorized activities. Local experts discuss varied outdoor topics. IMR provides trips year-round (daytrip hikes, mountain climbing, backpacking, biking, Nordic, winter camping, etc.), and offers training. Wed., Dec. 16, 7-9 p.m.

FREE, 208-424-6683, www. idahomountainrec.org. MK Nature Center, 600 S. Walnut St., Boise.

Recurring BOISE BICYCLE PROJECT OPEN SHOP—Donate bicycles or equipment to a good cause and receive a tax write-off. The shop is also open for volunteers interested in working on bicycles for children of low-income families, refugees and Boise’s homeless population. During open shop time on Saturdays, use tools and stands to work on

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your own. No experience necessary. Volunteer orientations are on the first and third Saturdays of the month at 11 a.m. For more information, e-mail boisebicycleproject@gmail.com. WednesdaysSaturdays, Noon-6 p.m. FREE. Boise Bicycle Project, 1027 Lusk St., Boise, 208-429-6520, www. boisebicycleproject.org.

BOISE WOMEN’S HIKING NETWORK—A women’s hiking group with about 800 members. Members post invitations for day hikes, camping trips, backpacking, snowshoeing and more. Schedule varies. For more information, contact Joyce Fabre at 208-384-8582. FREE, groups. yahoo.com/group/BoiseWHN.

PLAY/REC THE GREAT TREE HUNT Hunting would be absurdly easier if your prey didn’t move and could grow to, say, 100 feet tall. But when you’re hunting a Christmas tree, rules and written-instone facts go right out the window.

Nope, the wild evergreen is one of the wiliest plants ever to have a spot on a holiday to-do list.

The quest begins by finding a permit, which isn’t that difficult since they are available at all Boise and Payette National Forest offices and ranger stations for $10 each through Thursday, Dec. 24, as well as more than a dozen businesses (for a full list, check out the “forest products permits” link under “passes and permits” on the Boise National Forest Web site at fs.usda.gov/boise).

Once you’re armed with your permit, reaching your prey becomes the real challenge, especially as snow continues to pile up. Prepare for your hunt by bringing along emergency equipment, fueling up the 4-wheel-drive vehicle, paying attention to closed roads and changing weather, and remembering a saw.

By this late in the season, most of the remaining trees have become skittish around humans, fleeing from the most easily accessible hunting areas, so be prepared to hike/snowshoe/ski/snowmobile further into their natural habitat.

While some tree hunters go so far as to don camouflage and walk very slowly, with their arms out at a 45-degree angle, a branch in each hand, this can prove dangerous when another desperate tree hunter mistakes them for the rare transitory pine, a species prized by collectors.

Of course, the chances of coming home with something resembling those perfectly triangular, bushy green farm-raised trees found in makeshift corrals across the valley are distant. Trees found in the wild tend to be a little rangier than their domesticated cousins.

Hunters are occasionally known to lose perspective while in the wilderness, often thinking they’ve found a perfect specimen to mount in their living rooms, only to discover the tree is twice the height of their house. Remember, big trees are catchand-release. Only trees 12 feet tall or shorter may be kept.

And while everyone wants to bag the quintessential tree, after a few hours of searching in the cold, most of those desires are completely forgotten. That’s when the search for the perfect tree turns into the desperate quest to find any tree that has at least one side with more branches visible than trunk.

This desperation can lead to some bad decisions, as witnessed by the sickly looking trees seen tied to the tops of cars heading back into the valley each weekend.

Hunters should be advised to choose wisely before aiming their saw or axe: Permits are nonrefundable.

—Deanna Darr

BOISEweekly

| DECEMBER 16–22, 2009 | 37

NEWS/FOOD S C OTT B R INEGAR

FOOD/REVIEWS On one plate then the other ... BW sends two critics to one restaurant.

JERRY’S STATE COURT CAFE GUY FIERI’S PIT STOP AT THE MORRISON CENTER

38

| DECEMBER 16–22, 2009 | BOISEweekly

LAU RIE PEARMAN

Though not much of a crowd showed for Guy Fieri’s Road Show at the Morrison Center on Monday night, Fieri had the people who were there—if you’ll pardon the pun—eating out of his hands.

Fieri, the host of the Food Network’s Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives, tapped local chef Lou Aaron (Westside Drive-In) and KTVB Channel 7’s Ysabel Bilbao to open the show and add a little flavor. Aaron prepared prime rib, Yorkshire pudding and an au jus from scratch while Bilbao humorously explained that she just can’t cook.

“People ask my mother all the time, ‘Is it true Ysabel can’t cook at all?’” Bilbao told the audience. “And she replies, sadly, ‘Yes. It’s so true.’”

Once Aaron cleared his plates, Aussie flair bartender Hayden Wood whipped the crowd into a near frenzy, spinning not only bottles but drinks as well. Trails of liquor flew out across the people sitting closest to the stage, many of whom may have wished they’d dressed for a Gallagher show—in rain gear.

When Fieri took the stage, the smallish audience whooped and hollered, obviously happy to see him and he quickly came through on the promise of giving his Road Show some rock ’n’roll spice. He coaxed a handful of people from the audience up for an impromptu American Idol-esque singing competition and honors went to a rather inebriated woman who belted out Janis Joplin’s “Me and Bobby McGee.” A stop at Pizzalchik for lunch when he deplaned in Boise led to Fieri inviting both owner Brad Breakell and his dough-spinning son, Montana, on to the stage. Fieri asked a couple of young, aspiring chefs to join them and teenaged Montana presented one of them with his chef’s jacket, symbolically passing on what is sure to be a lifelong love of food.

Fieri reminded the audience of the importance of getting back to cooking meals from scratch, and as tantalizing smells of garlic and teriyaki wafted through the huge auditorium, he finished up the evening with a story of an early-career meal that unraveled in front a couple who looked like they never went out. When a dollop of Grey Poupon mustard hit the wife square in the forehead, Fieri was sure the drunk husband would do something drastic. Instead, he tipped Fieri $40 and thanked him for one of the best laughs of his life.

—Amy Atkins and Jennifer Hernandez

Take a sagging, cramped greasy spoon whose utter lack of curb appeal There was a time in the early 2000s that we “discovered” Jerry’s State drove off more customers than it attracted. Knock it down and start Court Cafe. That’s when it was actually on State Street, when it had a over again in a sturdy and spacious joint with a fireplace. What you hipster, diner vibe as a place to nurse a hangover or plot a revolution, might expect is a congratulatory response—unless you’re the new Jerry’s or order a plate of huevos rancheros, bottomless coffee and keep your State Court Cafe, which has received a lukewarm welcoming since its sunglasses on. reopening on Fairview Avenue. The old Jerry’s—with its turquoise blue Unfortunately all that came to an end three years ago, when the and banana yellow checkered floors—had a makeshift feel to it, with property owner decided to mow down the entire block to make way one fixture of a waitress endlessly herding plates to and fro. It was the for another dollar store. Jerry’s, a Boise institution for half a century, kind of place you went out of novelty and the need to stretch a buck. was screwed.

The new Jerry’s lacks the patina that lent the former dive its characBut Jerry’s rose from the dead in July in an old Elmer’s Restaurant ter. Though the trade up in physical space may be at the expense of what building on Fairview. From the corner booth, the place looks like any some generously refer other generic pancake to as charm, it gives joint, packed with the eatery a dignity it seniors ogling the never seemed to have. abundant senior Dinner is a new citizen specials. addition to the Our meal got off Fairview regimen to a poor start with and specials like ham the burnt coffee arrivhocks with baked ing a full five minutes beans, and liver with after we’d sat down. onions clearly pander I’m down to one cup to the diner demoa day, so I drank it, graphic. Regardbut I was not happy. less, the outcome is We had to ask pleasantly functional. three times for Tomato basil soup waters all around. arrived blistering hot My brother-in-law, in a well-flavored in town for Thankscreamy scarlet broth. giving, pointed out A dense bowl of that the glasses were salad measured up spotted. Though fine against scrunot a professional tiny: Greens were restaurant critic, my a nice variety and brother-in-law is one rust-free, tomatoes of the most critical and cucumbers were people I know.

Coffee and pie or liver and onions? The ball’s in your court. fresh and chilled, He liked the spicy and the bleu cheese sausage, but his eggs dressing turned up looked liked they’d JERRY’S STATE COURT CAFE hefty chunks of bleu. been sitting under a 6767 W. Fairview Ave., Boise Though an entree of filet mignon medallions ($15.95) heat lamp for a good 15 minutes.

208-376-6767 Open Mon.-Sat. 6 a.m.-8 p.m.; might not rank among the best in town, both cuts I ordered the huevos rancheros ($8.50), hoping Sun. 7 a.m.-8 p.m. yielded bright-pink medium centers and a tenderness for some nostalgia. Instead, I got an uninspired under the knife. plate of eggs and canned beans on top of a tortilla.

I examined the scene: real chopped bacon on the There was some red mole smooshed in there somepotato, a warm crusty sourdough roll served in white linen, and a doily where, but barely enough to register. beneath my carafe of hot water. Dessert was a slice of fluffy chocolate My wife’s Benedict ($5.95, half order, thank god) also suffered cream pie ($3.25), freshly whipped from top to bottom and dusted with from a serious lack of sauciness. By the time I got a bite, there was just cocoa. In all, dinner was decent diner food and the service was excellent. a little schmear of hollandaise left. Not that it mattered, because the Still, I steeled myself for a morning return.

English muffin was untoasted and the ham was thinner than a bowl of Once again, the service was spot on. Though the coffee at Jerry’s is potato soup during a potato famine. neither great nor strong, my cup never hit a halfway point thanks to an I looked enviously at an old guy eating a pretty fat-looking omelet— attentive server. Hashbrowns, which I find increasingly undercooked just a pesto chicken omelet—he told me between bites. about everywhere, were crunchy and the color their name appropriately A week later, I dragged myself back to Jerry’s for lunch and ended suggests. The chicken-fried steak ($8.95) was standard food-service up with a creative, edible sandwich, aptly named the jalopy ($8.50): variety, pancakes ($2.50) were annoyingly more springy than spongy, a fat stack of sliced ham, lettuce, tomato, Swiss and a surprise layer and while the biscuits were pillow soft under a smooth coat of country of grilled onions and peppers all dripping with a slightly spicy ranchgravy, the gravy could have used a heftier sausage injection. The potato like sauce. pancakes ($5.95)—two flapjacks with savory hashbrowns, cheese, green I gobbled it up, using several paper napkins to wipe up the mess. onions and bacon smashed into the underside—were the most puzzling Then I realized my jalopy was missing one ingredient: They forgot the and pleasing element of the whole meal. bacon. But since bacon reminded me of my breakfast at Jerry’s, I didn’t Yes, the old Jerry’s State Court Cafe is long gone. But I’ve decided say anything. that may not be such a bad thing after all.

—Nathaniel Hoffman’s voracious appetites are rarely interrupted —Rachael Daigle has greasy spoons hanging on her kitchen wall. by foodstuffs. But sometimes ...

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BOISEweekly

| DECEMBER 16–22, 2009 | 39

FOOD/DINING West Boise BLUE JEANS CAFE—Breakfast (starting at 6 a.m. for you early birds) and lunch with some of the biggest biscuits and gravy in the state. Freshly baked pastries, salads and sandwiches. 9140 W. Emerald St., Ste. 300, 208-658-5053. $-$$ .

CAFE OLE—Boise’s original Mexican restaurant has been serving for the last 28 years.

210 N. Milwaukee St., 208-322-0222. $$-$$$ SU OM. FRESH OFF THE HOOK—Gourmet seafood in a casual setting. Try the Halibut bruschetta or coconut prawns. It’s the best place in town for fresh, inexpensive seafood. 507 N. Milwaukee St., 208-322-9224. $-$$ OM. FUJIYAMA—Fresh sushi in a serene atmosphere incongruously nestled in a strip mall. For the sushi-phobes out there, they have an extensive selection of teriyaki and tempura dishes, soups and salads. Reserve one of the tatami rooms for the ultimate in private dining. 283 N. Milwaukee St., 208-672-8227.

SU. $$ GANDOLFO’S DELI—The franchise of New York delicatessens provides sandwich fans with New York style hot and cold deli sands, specialty selections and side salads. 8151 W. Fairview .

Ave., 208-377-4376. $ GOODWOOD BARBECUE—Great barbecue, Texas-style, right in the middle of the Treasure Valley.

With everything from ribs and brisket to chicken, Goodwood Continues to be a valley favorite with a family friendly atmosphere. 7849 W. Spectrum St., Boise, 208-658-7173. $-$$$$ OM SU. ROBBIE’S DRIVE-IN—An old drive-in location on Fairview and Orchard is now Robbie’s Drive-In serving good and grilled food, award-winning chili and burgers accompanied by fries and homemade fry sauce. The menu also includes salads and shakes and options for the kids. 4822 Fairview Ave., Boise, 208-376.

3150. $ SENOR FRESH—Fast-casual Mexican dining with all the usual suspects—burritos, enchiladas, nachos and fish tacos, to name a few. If you’re really hungry, try the Gordo Burrito. 12375 W. Chinden Blvd. #F, 208-3781888. $ .

SMOKY MOUNTAIN PIZZA AND PASTA—When you’re in the mood for a good, traditional pizza, this is the place. Pastas, starters, sandwiches and salads are delicious, and the list is as long as your arm. 1805 W. State St., 208-387-2727. $-$$ SU OM.

AVERAGE PRICE PER PERSON: $ —Less than $8 $ $ —$8 to $14 $ $ $ —$14 to $20 $ $ $ $ —Over $20

SOCKEYE GRILL AND BREWERY—Sockeye is the serious beer connoisseur’s brewpub. When the double IPA Hopnoxious is on tap, it’s a hophead’s liquid dream, and the Hell Diver Pale Ale gets rave reviews. The menu is pub fare with a healthy bent and free live music happens every Tuesday and Friday. 3019 Cole Road, 208-658-1533. $-$$ SU.

Bench ANDRADE’S—From albondigas to zopes, Javier Andrade serves up some of the best authentic Mexican fare in town. Great service, generous portions, good prices. 4903 Overland Road, 208-424-8890. $-$$ SU. BAD BOY BURGERS—This Bench burger joint offers all the requisite fare of a classic walk-up/drive-thru, plus some tasty surprises: it will take two of you to get through one of their burritos. 815 S. Vista Ave., 208.

331-1580. $ BAGUETTE DELI—Choose from 18 different 12-inch sub sandwich choices at the Vietnamese deli. Spring rolls, smoothies and French pastries round out the super value menu, on which no sandwich will set you back more than a five spot. 5204 W. Frank. lin Road, 208-336-2989. $ CASANOVA PIZZERIA—Pizza made like traditional pizzerias in New York and Naples make.

Fresh sauces, thin crusts, and

toppings from figs and bleu cheese to prosciutto and arugula. And of course real clam pizza from folks hailing from the homestate of “clam pizza” Connecticut. 1204 S. Vista Ave., 208-331-3535. OM. CHAPALA—The same great Jaliscan food Idaho expects Chapala to deliver. 1201 S. Vista Ave., 208-429-1155. $-$$ SU. CHIANG MAI THAI RESTAURANT—Casual for the whole family but elegant for two.

Traditional Thai food named after the infamous cuisine capitol, Chiang Mai. 4898 Emerald St., 208-342-4051. SU. THE COOKIE LADY DELI— Fresh, handmade sandwiches offered in a variety of choices, including a tasty chicken salad.

Don’t forget your homemade cookie on the way out. 880 Vista Ave., 208-385-7727. $-$$.

CRESCENT NO LAWYERS BAR/ GRILL—The Crescent “no lawyers” Bar & Grill—Lawyers be damned at this popular bar, restaurant and game-lovers paradise. Though they’re famous for their Lawyer Fries and chicken gizzards, the menu is full of tasty pub food, including burgers, chicken sandwiches, tater tots and a most diggable meatloaf sandwich on sourdough. It’s been a Boise tradition since 1963. 5500 W. Franklin Road, 208-322-9856. $ SU OM.

FOOD/RECENTLY REVIEWED KRUNG THAI RESTAURANT AND SUSHI HOUSE 3008 Garrity Blvd., Nampa, 208-442-5254, krung-thai.com “To my delight, the pad Thai with tofu ($8.95) also avoided a common shortfall of its peers. It walked the tightrope of deliciousness between being overly peanut buttery or overly vinegar-y and finished with a mildly spicy bow.”

—Tara Morgan

THE ORCHARD HOUSE RESTAURANT 14949 Sunnyslope Road, Caldwell, 208-459-8200, theorchardhouse.us “It was a setting missing only a roaring fire and hot mugs of cider. It was love at first sight. If only the spell had been cast upon the food, as well.”

—Rachael Daigle

DELSA’S ICE CREAM PARLOUR 7923 W. Ustick Road, 208-377-3700 “But I’d come for dinner, so I stuck to my guns and ordered a banana split ($4.79) and a hot fudge brownie sundae ($3.49). Choosing among the homemade ice cream flavors is no easy task, even though only about a dozen flavors of the 40 Delsa’s makes are readily available.”

—Rachael Daigle

—Wine & beer —Full bar —Delivery —Take-out —Open late RES —Reservations

needed/recommended —Patio SU —Open on Sunday OM —Online menu —Breakfast —Boise Weekly Card

Boise Weekly Dining Guide offers selective listings of editorial recommendations and advertisers.

Listings rotate based on available space.

Updates from diligent readers and listed restaurateurs are heartily encouraged.

E-mail to food@boiseweekly.com or fax to 342-4733.

40

| DECEMBER 16–22, 2009 | BOISEweekly

WWW. B O I S E WE E KLY. C O M

DINING/FOOD CUCINA DI PAOLO—After years of catering in the valley, Cucina di Paolo now offers heat and serve gourmet entrees, as well as a deli case full of goodies to enjoy in the small dining area.

1504 Vista Ave., 208-345-7150. $$-$$$ OM. DELI GEORGE—Behind the upside-down sign on Fairview, look for over 30 sandwich options full of homemade ingredients and plenty of imagination.

5602 Fairview Ave., 208-323.

2582. $ FLYING PIE PIZZERIA— Boise’s longest-lived and most inventive pizzeria.

They have their own beer (the impeccable Triple Pi Belgian-style ale), and pies to please even the pickiest eaters. 6508 Fairview Ave., 208-345-0000. $ SU OM.

GOLDEN STAR—Delicious Chinese/American cuisine ser ved at one of the best preser ved old storefronts in town. 1142 N. Orchard St., 208-336-0191. $.

JUMPIN’ JANETS—Need a beer, a smoke and a meal?

Jumpin’ Janet’s is one of the few places left in town where you can do all three. But here’s the real draw for you health conscious out there: you won’t find a deep fr yer in the kitchen at Jumpin’ Janet’s, it’s all baked. 574 Vista Ave., 208-342-7620. $ SU. MANDARIN PALACE—Bo-bo, moo-goo, sub-gum and bacon cheeseburgers all under one roof. 5020 Franklin Road, 208345-6682. $ SU. MONGO GRILL—The process begins with choosing a size and bowl and then filling it with your

WINE SIPPER/FOOD

favorite food to toss on a Mongolian grill under the direction of a skilled chef.

Mongo Grill has a salad bar, AND seven kinds of pho, plus a Chinese menu with all the usual sweet and sour dishes ser ved on rice noodles or fried rice.

3554 S. Findley Ave., 208-336-2122. $-$$ SU OM. THE OFFICE—This cleverly named spor ts bar is for the over-21 crowd only. Enjoy a meal, a smoke and a full bar while catching a game on one of The Office’s plasmas. Then, when you’re better half calls looking for you, the simple answer is: “I’m at The Office, honey.” Bar and late night menu until 2 a.m. 6125 E. Fair view Ave., 208-377-2800. $-$$ SU. PANDA GARDEN—Small but comfor table, Panda Garden has a huge selection of menu items. Generous por tions from Chinese to sushi, and it’s all good stuff. The staff, too, is friendly and attentive. 2801 Overland Road, 208-433-1188.

SU. $-$$ PATTY’S BURGER TIME—The only Idaho Preferred fast food restaurant keeps it good and local by ser ving Flying M coffee, Cloverleaf milk and local beef.

The early riser menu includes breakfast burritos, diced potatoes and breakfast sandwiches using organic eggs and vegetables. Need more reasons to swing by? Patty’s ser ves fresh fruit milkshakes with more than 40 different varieties and hosts classic cars shows ever y Saturday night.

1273 S. Orchard St., Boise, .

208-424-5073. $

GEWURZTRAMINER Gewurztraminer. It’s an awkward name, but while it may be difficult to spell or pronounce, it isn’t difficult to recognize.

With its perfumed aromas, intense fruit flavors and touch of spice, most everyone can identify it on first sniff or sip. This full-bodied white works well in winter, and it pairs well with a variety of foods—everything from holiday meals to Asian cuisine.

And its popularity is spreading across the globe. Here are the top picks, hailing from three very different wine regions: 2008 CONO SUR VISION GEWURZTRAMINER, $12.99 Cono Sur is one of Chile’s hottest properties and this wine helps to show why. It’s a bit closed in at first, but really shines after opening and reveals honeydew melon, rose petal, mineral, fresh herb and litchi nut. The flavors are centered on crisp citrus and green apple with a spicy back note and a sweet peach finish that lingers nicely. This is a great wine made in a crowd-pleasing style.

2007 HELFRICH GEWURZTRAMINER, $8.99 This is a classic Alsatian Gewurz from a family-owned winery that dates back to 1934. It opens with unctuous aromas of candied fruit, sweet apple, honeycomb and a nice touch of bacon fat that’s often typical of this variety. Just as rich in the mouth with a spicy, fresh-baked apple-pie quality, a nice creamy texture and just the right hit of crisp acidity. The perfect winter warmer at a great price.

2007 STE. CHAPELLE DRY GEWURZTRAMINER, $6.99 From Idaho’s oldest winery—30 years and counting—this particular wine has always been one of their best. The 2007 has that characteristic note of bacon fat on the nose, along with lavender, apricot, rose hip and spice. It leads off with bright citrus flavors of lemon, lime and grapefruit, followed by just sweet peach and mango. Closes with a light minerality on the crisp, clean finish. It’s a local wine and an exceptional bargain.

—David Kirkpatrick WWW. B OISEWEEKLY.C O M

THE PLANK—Excellent finger steaks and chicken strips to wash down all that beer. A special lunch menu and a punch card for extra lunch savings and a reverse happy hour Sunday through Thursday from 10 p.m. till midnight with $2 bar bites. 650 S. Vista Ave., SU. 208-336-1790. $-$$ RAW—The owners of conjoined and ver y popular Willowcreek Bar and Grill opened up RAW to sate the sushi cravings up on the bench. Striving for “sushi ar t in a comfor tably atmosphere and promising rolls that make your money wor th it” RAW is a welcome addition to the Japanese food restaurant family in Boise. 2237 Vista Ave., 208-343-0270. $-$$$ OM. SHANGRI-LA TEA ROOM—With their own lines of herbal and organic teas and herbal medicines, Shangri-La Tea Room offers a basic menu of vegan and vegetarian offerings.

Some items include five types of soup, pita sandwich and falafel sandwiches, curr y and southwestern wraps, and one of the best organic salads in the valley according to customers.

Teriyaki tofu, tea cakes, and cookies round out a variety of delightful items. On any given day, choose between 80-100 small batch, limited quantity teas produced on small tea farms. The owners pride themselves on knowing where their teas come from. 1800 W. Overland Road, 208-424-0273. $-$$ OM.

BOISEweekly

| DECEMBER 16–22, 2009 | 41

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BW FOR RENT 7HJ 6G:6 Nice clean 2BD, 1BA duplex. One block from Albertsons & close to BSU. Approx. 800 sq. ft. Do your laundry at home with a washer & dryer included in rent. I pay W/S/T. Apartment has electric heat, stove, fridge, off street parking and a small yard. Newly painted and ready now. No smoking allowed please. Rent is $550/mo. dep. $350. With pet rent is $600/ mo. and $400 dep. Call Mike 8636855. I check references carefully, so be honest. No appl. fee.

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&%% ;>GHI BDCI= G:CI NW Boise area. 1BD & 2BD, 4-plex units, from $450 and $575/mo.

W/S/T paid 345-9007. <G:6I ADI 1606 N. 5th, 2BD + loft. Fruit trees, chickens, raised organic beds, country in the city, foothills access, available now! House has W/D, big kitchen, bath with clawfoot tub and shower setup, lots of storage. $750/mo. Cathy 3870478 or 794-6277.

B:G>9>6C =DB: 4BD, 2BA, pets ok. $950/mo. 8547128.

DC <G::C7:AI New 3BD, 2BA, 2 car grg. home directly adjacent to the Greenbelt.

Avail. 12/28. $900/mo. 968-4194.

8C6$C6 To care for adults with developmental disabilities. Must be 21 with clean driving record. Apply 8310 W. Ustick, #300, 9 am-4 pm. =6>G9G:HH:G L6CI:9 Great location in Nampa. Come join us in a fun and great atmosphere.

Clientele preferred. Lease station.

Ask for Vickie at 208-463-4422. $$$HELP WANTED$$$ Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary!

Call our Live Operators Now! 1-800-405-7619 EXT 2450 http:// www.easywork-greatpay.com C:L =DA>96N ?D7H Extras, Actors, Models needed.

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8DCK:C>:CI ID =E Comfortable 3BD, 2BA. Great location, new paint in & out, new carpet, vinyl, lighting, plumbing & window coverings. Affordable & move-in ready. Full size lot is zoned residential/office, fenced private N. facing backyard, patio, RV parking, mature landscaping.

Clean! Only $118K. Call Deborah Bell with Idaho Properties GMAC at 208-484-0752 to see 12178 W. Alfred, Boise.

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Two white globes dan3600 N. TRAIL CIRCLE, BOISE gle from the low-sloped $314,000 roof’s edge, illuminating 3 Bed/3 Bath the front walkway in retro 2,541 Square Feet Windermere fashion and gently hinting Clyde Rasmussen, 208-794-1909 at the modern update 3600trailcircle.com this 47-year-old ranch MLS #98417115 home received-recently.

American walnut flooring flows from the front entrance into a living room with a lowangled ceiling, where a wall of plate-glass windows is shaped to follow the roof’s gentle upward peak. Centered below the peak is a wide, stacked-stone fireplace stretching upward to form the room’s focal point.

The open, European-influenced kitchen is outfitted with sleek cabinetry and customized appliances, all finished in the same ivory hue. Polished black granite countertops and a backsplash of oversized Italian tile visually cut a thick horizontal slice through the room’s classy, off-white palette. The pair of white globe pendants hanging above the room’s center work island echo the light fixtures above the front walkway.

In the expanded master bedroom, one entire wall is upholstered with white linen while another is painted with Ralph Lauren’s suede paint in a soothing taupe tone. The effect is womb-like.

The master suite, the main living areas and a bedroom are arranged at ground level. A family room and junior suite are located in the basement.

PAYMENT Classified advertising must be paid in advance unless approved credit terms are established. You may pay with credit card, cash, check or money order.

42

PROS: Unassuming brick facade hides a stylishly modernized interior with more features than I have words for.

CONS: Hallway laundry nook instead of laundry room.

—Jennifer Hernandez

$Low Start Up–HUGE Profits$ iHeater Dealers Wanted! #1 Portable Infrared Heater As Seen on TV. Don’t Miss This HOT Opportunity! Call NOW! 1-800-714-8425.

FOR SALE BW STUFF &'º 9D7H>CDC I:A:H8DE: Harden optics deep space hunter. $500 OBO. Tina 713-5364. <G:6I ;DG =JCI>C< 20’ camper for sale. Great for hunting! Has a separate bathroom.

Runs on either propane or electricity! Sleeps approx. 6! Asking $2900 OBO. Call 703-1863.

DC: L::@ 6I B:M>8D 7:68= Any 5 star Mexican Mayan Resort almost any week in 2010. $575/ wk. I can’t afford to go there this year. 368-0803 if you are interested! http://mayanresorts.com/ mayan-palace/riviera-maya/photo-gallery

BW CAREER EDUCATION CAREERS

B6@: BDG: BDC:N

BW HELP WANTED **BODYGUARDS WANTED** FREE Training & Job Placement Assistance for members. No Experience OK. Excellent potential $$$. Full & Part Time. Traveling expenses paid. 1-615-228-1701. www.psubodyguards.com 7D>H: <GDJE =DB:H Make a difference assisting adults w/ developmental disabilities.

Must be 21 w/ clean driving record. Stop by 8310 W. Ustick #300, 9 am-4 pm.

With a better job and a degree.

Evening, day and online classes start next month. Financial aid is available for those who qualify.

Stevens-Henager College, Boise Branch, 800-716-5645 www.stevenshenager.info

BW BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES EARN $75-$200 HOUR. Media Makeup Artist Training. Ads, TV, Film, Fashion. One week class.

Stable job in weak economy. Details at http://www.AwardMakeUpSchool.com 310-364-0665.

BARTER BW HAVE IG69: 8DCHIGJ8I>DC ;DG 4444 I am a fully licensed, registered & insured framing, siding, and remodel contractor looking to trade labor for your unwanted items of value. E-mail a description of what you need done and what you have to trade. quickquality3@aol. com. Services available but not limited to: remodels, framing, siding, decks, fences, covered patios, tile, painting, roofing, gutter clean out, shops & shelves.

CAREERS - HELP WANTED MIND, BODY, SPIRIT BW HEALTH & FITNESS NDJI= 6I=A:I: LDG@H=DE Strike Like Lightning: Youth Speed and Injury Prevention Workshop: Dec 21 & 22. Hosted by Integral Volleyball Training. Topics covered: proper athletic warm-up, linear & multi-directional acceleration/deceleration 6 hrs. of instruction $45. vballtitan@gmail.com

Open house: Saturday, Dec. 19, 2-4 p.m.

| DECEMBER 16–22, 2009 | BOISEweekly C L A S S I F I E D S

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|

BW PSYCHIC

Amateur Massage by Eric. See LARGE ad.

BOISE’S BEST! With Bodywork by Rose.

794-4789. www.roseshands.com 7G6C9 C:L >C 7D>H: Magic Spa. Massage & full body shampoo. 4322 Overland Rd, across from Pine Crest. Open 9am-10pm. Stop by!

8DB: :ME:G>:C8: B6HH6<: 7N H6B

Hot tub available, heated table, hot oil full-body Swedish massage. Total seclusion. Days/Eves/ Wknds.Visa/Master Card accepted, Male only. 866-2759.

Deep Therapeutic Massage by Muscular Guy. 869-2766.

Full body massage by experienced therapist. Out call or private studio. 863-1577. Thomas. =DJ HE6 Steam sauna & massage. Corner Overland & S. Orchard. Open 7 days a week, 9-10pm. 345-2430.

B6HH6<: Bali Spa. 401 N. Orchard St. 3751332. Open 9am-10pm. Mention you saw it in the Boise Weekly for $20 Off! Massage Boise Hotels 869-8128.

SERVICES BW CHILD

6C<:A G:69:G

Psychic Medium: Available for large events, small gatherings & private readings. Call 208-323-2323. ;DJG 6AA NDJG EHN8=>8 C::9H Cat’s Eyes Divinations features 6 professional psychic readers to meet all of your needs. Services include: Angel, Palm, Past Lives/ Divination, Runes, Crystal Ball, Tarot and much more. Now also offering Seances done in your home or at our location. To contact us for appointment or further information, go to www.catseyesdivinations.com or call 713-6780.

PREGNANT? CONSIDERING ADOPTION? Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families nationwide. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions 866-413-6293.

BW SPIRITUAL

ADOPT-A-PET

Place your FREE on-line classifieds at www.boiseweekly.com. It’s easy!

Just click on “Post Your FREE Ad.” No phone calls please.

These pets can be adopted at the Idaho Humane Society. www.idahohumanesociety.com 4775 W. Dorman St. Boise | 208-342-3508

MIND, BODY, SPIRIT

CISCO: 2-year-old mixed breed. Tall and thin, weighs 68 lbs. Silly, happy and energetic. Needs active owner. #5409996

DORA: 6-month-old female with medium hair. Friendly, good with other cats. Playful and loving. Litterbox-trained. #9245098

BABY: 3-month-old female border collie mix. Needs committed owner to train and love.

Good with other dogs. #9212203

SIMON: 10-month-old male rottweiler mix.

Likes being with people and enjoys learning.

Lively, fun and ready to train. #9224870

ZOEY: 6-month-old female shorthair. Beautiful white kitten with one blue eye, one gold eye. Litterbox-trained. #9245044

BAILEY: 3-month-old female Lab mix. Lively and friendly puppy that is well socialized and ready to learn. #9190549

HJC HE6 DC 7GD69L6N

We’ve moved. Same great service, new location & freshly remodeled spa.

Massage~Bath~Sauna.

1512 Broadway Ave. 713-6142.

ULM 340-8377.

K>E B6HH6<:

Free Chair Massage for your neck, shoulders & back with an hour Foot Reflexology Massage only $29.99. Full body massage with special technique. Pain relief. 3777711. Stop by 6555 W. Overland Rd near Cole.

These pets can be adopted at Simply Cats.

MIND, BODY, SPIRIT

www.simplycats.org 2833 S. Victory View Way | 208-343-7177

ANISE: If you’re in need of a little holiday cheer this season, I’m your guy. Room 4

WWW. B OISEWEEKLY.C O M

DYLAN: I’ve led a troubled life, but I’m optimistic in my search for a home. Room 7

BOISEweekly C L A S S I F I E D S

BEEPER: Show me love and I’ll show you how I make my cutest little “beep.” Room 2

| DECEMBER 16–22, 2009 | 43

| REAL ESTATE | CAREERS | TRANSPORTATION | FOR SALE | MIND, BODY, SPIRIT | PETS | | SERVICES | NOTICES | MUSIC | COMMUNITY POSTINGS | CONNECTION SECTION |

BW HOME

BW PROFESSIONAL

86GE:I 8A:6C>C< HE:8>6A Barefoot Cleaning Company will steam clean 3 rooms + halls or stairs for $89. We use natural detergents. Call 830-8215 or visit us at barefootcleaningcompany.com ;G:: DC"A>C: 8A6HH>;>:9 69H Place your FREE on-line classifieds at www.boiseweekly.com. It’s easy!

Just click on “Post Your FREE Ad.” No phone calls please.

Get Dish - FREE Installation –$19.99/mo. HBO & Showtime FREE - Over 50 HD Channels FREE Lowest Prices – No Equipment to Buy! Call Now for full Details: 877-242-0974.

8DBEJI:G EGD7A:BH44 FREE In-Store Computer Diagnostics 50% OFF ANY In-Store Service Virus/Spyware/Malware Removal Onsite/In-Store Service Business and Residential Quick Turnaround Times 100% Satisfaction Guarantee Call 345-3999 The Tech Pros, LLC. 8DIIDCLDD9 8G::@ 9:CI6A Dr. Michael Dolby offers the latest techniques & equipment to make going to dentist easier than ever.

Call today! 323-8545.

9>KDG8: A mediated settlement is faster and less expensive than litigation. Free initial consult. CAPITAL MEDIATION SERVICES, LLC 208-968-2483. ;G:: DC"A>C: 8A6HH>;>:9 69H Place your FREE on-line classifieds at www.boiseweekly.com. It’s easy!

Just click on “Post Your FREE Ad.” No phone calls please.

NYT CROSSWORD | 1 Like mountains and maps 7 “The Lord of the Rings” dwarf 12 Attack helicopter 17 1930s heavyweight champ known as the Ambling Alp 18 Choose not to cook, say 1

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BW NOTICES GAIN NATIONAL EXPOSURE. Reach over 5 million young, active, educated readers for only $995 by advertising in 110 weekly newspapers like this one. Call Jason at 202-289-8484. ;G:: DC"A>C: 8A6HH>;>:9 69H Place your FREE on-line classifieds at www.boiseweekly.com. It’s easy!

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PENIS ENLARGEMENT. FDA Medical Vacuum Pumps. Gain 1-3 inches permanently. Testosterone, Viagra, Cialis. Free Brochures. 619-294-7777 http://www. drjoelkaplan.com

27 Suave competitor 28 Many a shipment to Detroit 30 Air play?

31 Med. care provider 32 Nitpicks?

36 Uses as a source 38 Like a foreboding sky 39 What white flour lacks 8

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41 Majestic 45 Professorial material?

47 Bottom line?

50 Sorters’ formations 51 Architect of the Guggenheim Museum in Bilbao 52 Double or nothing, say?

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BW MUSICIAN’S EXCHANGE

MUSIC

Notice of Hearing on Name Change.

Case No.: CVNC0918199. A Petition to change the name of Kelson James Hitchcock-Fisse, born 5/29/05 in Boise, ID residing at 2018 S. Cleveland, Boise ID 83705 has been filed in Ada County District Court, Idaho. The name will change to Kelson James Fisse, because parents are now married.

The child’s father is living. The child’s mother is living. A hearing on the petition is scheduled for 1:30 o’clock pm on January 14, 2010, at the Country Courthouse.

Objections may be filed by any operson who can show the court good reason against the name changes. Date: Nov. 19,2009. By C. Barclay, Deputy Clerk.

BW MUSICAL INSTRUCTION/OTHER

Elvis impersonator for hire. Guitarist to play oldies, 50’s, 60’s. Located in Mtn. Home. John 587-5719.

COMMUNITY POSTINGS BW ANNOUNCEMENTS Warhawk Air Museum is excited to announce the monthly “Kilroy was Here” coffee klatch. 1st Tuesday of every month. 10-11:30am. Warhawk Air Museum, 201 Municipal Dr, Nampa.

HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA! Fast, Affordable & Accredited. FREE Brochure. Call NOW! 1-800-532-6546 Ext. 97 http://www.continentalacademy.com

76GI:G >H 7:II:G

Looking for barter? Post what you have, find what you need. Always free at www.boiseweekly.com.

DOUBLE BREAK POINT BY PATRICK BERRY / EDITED BY WILL SHORTZ

19 Plays at maximum volume 20 Deciding the best man is better, perhaps?

22 As yet unactualized 23 Where Caleb was sent as a spy 24 Seaside bird 25 Memento of an old athletic injury?

ACROSS

BW LEGAL NOTICES

NOTICES

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| DECEMBER 16–22, 2009 | BOISEweekly C L A S S I F I E D S

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54 Gambler’s declaration 55 Hymn starter 57 Like many rugs 58 Keats’s “___ on Indolence” 59 Pickett’s Charge participant 60 Begging soldiers?

62 Co. of which Howard Hughes became the principal shareholder in 1939 63 ___ rigueur (literally) 64 Call before a football game 65 Manchester moms 66 Handle 67 Young scientists who are impossible to work with?

69 Tips 70 View from the Quai d’Orsay 71 Sir ___, nephew of King Arthur 72 X-ray view 73 Gave birth to a litter 75 Triumphant cry 76 Kick in the rear, maybe 77 Senate tie breaker 78 Country whose name means “warrior king” 81 Things heard after thumbs are hit with hammers?

87 Languish 88 Water carrier 90 Maker of “the plow that broke the Plains” 91 Prostitute who protected Israelite spies, in Joshua 93 Holder of pet electrons, protons and neutrons?

97 Windup 98 Pro ___ (for one’s country) 99 Get by somehow 100 Reductions in rank that aren’t entirely bad?

103 Key holders 104 Spectacular autumn trees 105 Up

106 Setting of Van Gogh’s “Cafe Terrace at Night” 107 Shy 108 Adjusts for daylight saving, e.g.

DOWN 1 Large hot spot 2 Heavy lifters 3 Archival material 4 They’re set for drinking and smoking 5 John-Boy Walton’s sister 6 Brown who wrote “The Lost Symbol” 7 Earn 8 Skater Midori 9 Farmyard chorus 10 Mattress problem 11 “Come on in!”

12 School cards 13 Muesli ingredients 14 “Mother Courage and Her Children” playwright 15 Call again?

16 Minute Maid Park players 17 Letters on old rubles 18 Great white ___ 19 Lunch orders that are typically sliced in half 21 Los Angeles museum, with “the” 26 Coll. dorm overseers 28 Off 29 Tolerant of other opinions 33 It might have an extension: Abbr.

34 James who wrote “A Million Little Pieces” 35 Boyo 37 Trace 40 Superheroes have them 41 Galaxy shape 42 Delay 43 “Arabian Nights” opener?

44 Olympics ideal 45 Competitors of Wahoos and Tar Heels 46 It’s most useful when it’s cracked

47 Peggy Lee’s signature song 48 Vanity case?

49 Médoc, for one 51 Stock in trade 52 Stem joints 53 Brought in 55 Hall-of-Famers 56 Reluctant 57 South Los Angeles district 60 1986 film featuring Chevy Chase as Dusty Bottoms 61 Affluence 66 Cream alternative 68 ___ Mawr College 69 Ankh’s top 70 Becomes layered while settling 72 Shaker’s sound 73 “___ here!”

74 “Away From ___” (Julie Christie film) 76 Headwear also known as jipijapas 77 Colorado’s Mesa ___ 78 Rocking chair storyteller 79 Empty words L A S T

D O C S O P A H S Q U E S P O N E H R O W E G U A R S N Y D S S K I P L O C I I R A Q D A N U E N T E Q U A F F S

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80 Keyless 81 Pres. title 82 “You ___ bother” 83 Looks after 84 Best guide around town, probably 85 Dewlap’s place 86 They’re all good 89 Bullets, in Texas hold’em 92 Dishonorable 94 Horsehair source 95 “Intolerance” actress Lillian 96 Fair 98 Subway car feature 101 Suffix with slogan 102 France’s Belle-Îleen-___” Go to www.boiseweekly. com and look under odds and ends for the answers to this week’s puzzle.

And don’t think of it as cheating. Think of it more as simply double-checking your answers.

W E E K ’ S

O O L A N A F A P P I D E E R T X W I E B I T C O D B E A P S B E A S Y A G E S L E T S E T H I I V I N M E R E P R O P A I N T L L Y A Y

A N S W E R S

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M I N I G G O A L N F G I O S M I A T R I

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I R O N S O L

N E A L A L N S G E B E Q E M U N E F L C E E R R M T A T T A A C U T D I A I M A B E H L L E Y

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WWW. B O I S E WE E KLY. C O M

| REAL ESTATE | CAREERS | TRANSPORTATION | FOR SALE | MIND, BODY, SPIRIT | PETS | | SERVICES | NOTICES | MUSIC | COMMUNITY POSTINGS | CONNECTION SECTION

BW CLASSES

CONNECTION SECTION

86A:9DC>6 8G:6I>DC HI6I>DC

Three Great Stores in One Stop!

Caledonia~Fuzz~Twigs and Twist. Stop by & see what we have to offer at 605 Americana Blvd. Call 338-0895.

A:6GC ID CDG9>8 H@> I=>H L>CI:G Novice, recreational, weekend warrior or advanced skier-learn proper skating & classic technique w/ coaches & athletes of the Bogus Basin Nordic Team. Sun., 1/10. 2 sessions, $39/session. Pick one or both 9:30-11:30am & 1-3pm.

Reserve now! bbntclinic@gmail. com. All proceeds beneďŹ t BBNT, a non-proďŹ t org.

;>7:G 6GIH ;DG I=: =DA>96NH

At Fuzz! Fiber art classes available.

Stop in for your winter knitting supplies at 605 Americana Blvd., 343-3899. ;G:9 8=D6I: D>A 8A6HH:H At Quality Art Inc in Boise for $20/ class. Students receive 40% off all products they would like to purchase the day of class. Fred currently is teaching Mon. & Tues. mornings. Please contact Quality Art Inc. at 672-0530 for more information.

BW ADULT ENTERTAINMENT BUYER BEWARE Whenever doing business by telephone or email proceed with caution when cash or credit is required in advance of services.

Come Where Single Play. Call 208287-0343 FREE w/code 5500 Call 800-210-1010.

HOT GUYS! HOT CHAT! HOT FUN! Call 208-489-2162 or 800-7778000. FREE w/ code 2982.

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Has All Your Adult Desires, Open 7 Days A Week. 384-5760.

MEET HOT LOCAL GUYS Browse & Respond FREE! 208-472-2200, Code 5724. Visit MegaMates. com, 18+.

SEEKING SEXY SINGLES. Listen & Reply to Ads FREE! Straight 208345-8855. Gay/Bi 208-472-2200.

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WILD LOCAL DATELINE Listen & Respond FREE! 208-345-8855 Code 7262. 888.MegaMates.com 18+.

BW PERSONALS BROWSE-POST-CONNECT Connect with these and many more proďŹ les on BW Love! www.boiseweekly.com/love

SERVICES

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|

NAUGHTY AND NICE...

Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re looking for a nice girl to do naughty things with. She should be clean, well behaved, sexy and fun!

She should be ready to take orders and receive ultimate pleasure. If you have a full ďŹ gure that is ok with us! badkitty84, 25, #101105.

CPL LOOKING TO PLAY We would like to ďŹ nd somewhat normal people for friends and fun. We are tame compared to some on here. maybe you could change that for us. cpl4experment, 34, #101092.

FLY PAPER FOR FREAKOS We are a married loving couple looking to bring a little excitement into the bedroom, living room, kitchen, shower... We have been married six years, he is 36 she is 25. sinningmostvigorously, 36, #101063.

I am 20 yrs. Old, 5â&#x20AC;&#x2122;10â&#x20AC;?, 275 lbs. I am half Hispanic and half Caucasian. I have brown hair and hazel eyes. I would like to meet a sweet, caring down to earth, fun and loyal woman. I would like to start as pen pals and then move onto a more serious relationship. Gustavo Bacerra 7210 Barrister Dr. Boise, ID 83704.

My name is Derek W. Lewis. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m doing 20-life in the pen. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m ďŹ ling for post conviction and need anyone that knows what kind of a relationship my father and I had to write me please. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m also looking for F pen pals. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m 19 yrs. Old, 5â&#x20AC;&#x2122;10â&#x20AC;?, 160 lbs. I will send a picture to verify.

Derek W. Lewis #92527 PO Box 70010 Boise, ID 83707.

SWM seeking F pen pals. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m 33 yrs.

Old and will be released from prison in 2011. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m physically ďŹ t, enjoy exercising, reading and watching T.V. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m open to anyone who would be interested in marrying a hard working, childless man whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ready to settle down and love a woman like she deserves. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s all Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m looking for!

Gary Barney #59146 I.S.C.I. Unit 10 PO Box 14 Boise, ID 83707.

BW I SAW YOU **NEW** Place all your â&#x20AC;&#x153;I Saw You Adsâ&#x20AC;? online with our new personals Web site. You will need to create an FREE account. Start making connections now with the oneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve spotted around the valley here: www.boiseweekly.com/ISawYou

BW PEN PALS Pen Pals complimentary ads for our incarcerated friends are run on a space-available basis and may be edited for content. Readers are encouraged to use caution and discretion when communicating with Pen Pals, whose backgrounds are not checked prior to publication. Boise Weekly accepts no responsibility for any relationships that may arise from contacting these inmates.

I am 34 yrs. Old, 6â&#x20AC;&#x2122;2â&#x20AC;?, 205 lbs., brown hair and hazel eyes. I am a total outdoors enthusiast and have hiked many well known trails. Jesse Kirk #38868 Unit 14 I.S.C.I. PO Box 14 Boise, ID 83707.

SWF 41 yrs. Old, petite, brown hair and green eyes seeks SM 35-50 for fun correspondence. Send photos. Roberta Calkins C/O JCJ 200 Courthouse Way Rigby, ID 83442.

SWF 40 yrs. Old, 5â&#x20AC;&#x2122;4â&#x20AC;?, 115 lbs., blonde hair and green eyes seeks SM 35-55 for fun pen pal and future possibilities. Send photos please. Tonja Vigoito C/O JCJ 200 Courthouse Way Rigby, ID 83447.

Hispanic male, 50 yrs. Young looking for a F pen pal. Possible long term.

Honesty and open hears encouraged. Hard worker with ambition and a lot to offer the right lady.

Write soon. Tony Acosta #85086 I.S.C.I. Unit 14-39 PO Box 14 Boise, ID 83707.

Incarcerated blond hair, blue eyed 24 yr. old SWM. Looking for F to write as a friend and possible relationship. Ben Sanders #76748 I.S.C.I. Unit 14-A Boise, ID 83707.

I am looking for pen pals to write.

E.P. Wolcott #76959 I.S.C.I. Unit 16-B-53-A PO Box 14 Boise, ID 83707.

I am 23 yrs. Old, 6â&#x20AC;&#x2122;2â&#x20AC;?, 275 lbs., part Italian/Greek. I have dark brown hair and light brown eyes. I am looking to meet a laid back girl who likes to have fun. Kick back and hang out, go to the movies, shoot pool and do outdoor activities. I am looking for a local woman who would like to start as a pen pal and then maybe move into more serious things. I love all sorts of woman anywhere from 18-35 yrs. Old. Benjamin Miele #645076 7210 Barrister Dr. Boise, ID 83704.

BOISEweekly C L A S S I F I E D S

| DECEMBER 16â&#x20AC;&#x201C;22, 2009 | 45

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY ARIES (March 21-April 19): I don’t understand why the astronomers responsible for naming objects are so devoid of flair. Here’s a prime example: They found a blazar, or blazing quasi-stellar object, in a faraway galaxy. It’s powered by a supermassive black hole that’s 10-billion times larger than our sun.

Why did they give this fantastic oddity the crushingly boring name Q0906+6930? Couldn’t they have called it something like “Queen Anastasia” or “Blessed Quasimodo”? I trust you won’t be as lazy in your approach to all the exotic discoveries you’re going to be making in 2010, Aries. Start getting your imagination in top shape. Make sure it’s primed and ready for your upcoming walkabout to the far reaches of reality.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Scientists say that pretty much everywhere you go on this planet, you are always within 3 feet of a spider. That will be an especially useful and colorful truth for you to keep in mind during 2010.

Hopefully, it’ll inspire you to take maximum advantage of your own spider-like potentials. It’s going to be web-spinning time, Taurus: an excellent phase in your long-term life cycle to weave an extended network—with you at the hub— that will help you catch an abundance of the resources you need.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): I don’t normally recommend that you worry too much about what others think of you. In 2010, however, you could benefit from thinking about that subject more than usual. Judging from the astrological omens, I suspect that you’ll be able to correct misunderstandings that have negatively affected your reputation. You might even have the power to shift people’s images of you so that they’re in relatively close alignment with the truth. Here’s the best news: You may be more popular than you’ve ever been.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): I’m hoping that you will get out more in 2010. And I mean way out.

Not just out to the unexplored hotspots on the other side of town, but also out to marvelous sanctuaries on the other side of paradise. Not just out to the parts of the human zoo where you feel right at home, but also out to places in the urban wilderness where you’ll encounter human types previously unknown to you. In conclusion, traveler, let me ask you this: What was the most kaleidoscopic trip you’ve ever taken? Consider the possibility of surpassing it in the next 12 months.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): One of the 20th century’s greatest scientific minds was Nobel Prizewinning physicist Max Planck. He knew that in his field, like most

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| DECEMBER 16–22, 2009 | BOISEweekly

others, ingenious innovation doesn’t automatically rise to the top. The advancement of good new ideas is hampered by the conservatism and careerism of scientists. “A new scientific truth does not triumph by convincing its opponents and making them see the light,” he wrote, “but rather because its opponents eventually die, and a new generation grows up that is familiar with it.” In 2010, Leo, there’ll be a similar principle at work in your sphere.

Influences that have been impeding the emergence of excellence will burn out, dissipate or lose their mojo. As a result, you’ll be able to express and take advantage of innovations that have previously been quashed.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Twenty-two percent of American right-wing fundamentalists believe that President Barack Obama is the Anti-Christ. On the other hand, 73 percent of the people who read my horoscopes think that if there were an Anti-Christ, he would be an American right-wing fundamentalist. But I’d like to discourage speculations like that among the Virgo tribe in 2010.

According to my reading of the omens, you should take at least a year off from getting worked up about your version of the devil.

Whomever you demonize, just let them alone for a while. Whatever you tend to fault as the cause of the world’s problems, give your blame mechanism a rest. As much as possible, create for yourself an Enemy-Free Zone.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): I’m hoping that 2010 will be the year you do whatever it takes to fall more deeply in love with the work you do. I’d like to see you reshape the job you have so that it better suits your soul’s imperatives. If that’s not possible, consider looking for or creating a new job. The cosmos will be conspiring to help you. Both hidden and not-so-hidden helpers will be nudging you to earn your livelihood in ways that serve your highest ideals and make you feel at peace with your destiny.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “It Don’t Mean a Thing (If It Ain’t Got That Swing)” is a jazz tune composed in 1931 by Duke Ellington and Irving Mills. In accordance with your long-term astrological omens, I propose that we make that song title your motto in 2010—the standard you’ll keep referring to as you evaluate which experiences you want to pursue.

Please proceed on the assumption that you should share your life energy primarily with people and situations that make your soul sing and tingle and swing.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): I hope you will get more sleep in 2010. And eat better food, too.

And embark on some regimen

like meditation that will reduce your stress levels. In general, Sagittarius, I hope you will learn a lot more about what makes your body function at optimal levels, and I hope you will diligently apply what you learn. That doesn’t mean I think you should be an obsequiously well-behaved pillar of the community. On the contrary, what I’m envisioning is that by taking better care of yourself, you will make yourself strong enough to run wilder and freer.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Even if you don’t plan to go to school in 2010, I suggest you make plans to further your education. Your current levels of knowledge and skill may be quite impressive, but they simply won’t be enough to keep you growing and adapting forever. Eventually, you’re going to need to learn more. And the coming months will be a perfect time, from an astrological perspective, to get that process under way. Here are a few questions to jumpstart your meditations: What ignorance do you find yourself having to increasingly hide? What subjects captivate your imagination and tantalize your future self? What skills and know-how do your competitors have that you don’t?

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Imagine that money is not just the literal cash and checks you give and receive, but that it is also an invisible force of nature like gravity or electromagnetism.

Then imagine that it’s possible for this primal energy to be favorably disposed toward you—that on some occasions, its rhythms may be more closely aligned with your personal needs. Can you picture that, Aquarius? I hope so, because there is a sense in which this seeming fantasy will be an actuality for you during much of 2010. How well you’re able to capitalize will depend in part on how high you keep your integrity levels. Are you prepared to be more impeccably ethical, fair and honest than you’ve ever been?

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Have you been toiling away earnestly at the exhausting homework that life has dumped on you this past year? Have you kept the faith even when you’ve been fooled and confused? Have you applied yourself with a pure heart to the maddening details and puzzling riddles you’ve been asked to master? If you’ve been less than conscientious at doing these tasks, the next two months will bring you a series of tricky final exams. But if you have been doing your due diligence, then you’re on the brink of graduating from boring old problems that you have been studying for a long time. Do we dare hope that you will soon be free of a history that has repeated itself ad nauseam?

Yes, I think we do dare.

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