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APRIL 2011

VOLUME • ISSUE 6 BIKES & BEAUTIES • APRIL3 2011 1

2 BIKES & BEAUTIES • APRIL 2011

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APRIL 2011

M AG A Z I N E

24 Kimberly

29 Daytona Bike Week Daytona Beach Time Honored Tradition

Boobalicious!

30 Mardi Gras on Flagler Fat Tuesday Mayhem 31 FX Zone Grand Opening Party Laser Lights and Soulicide 32 Ride For Smiles BBRCF Charity Run 34 Ladies Ride No Boys Allowed 36 Jolly Gator Biker Bash & Bikini Babes

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37 Crossroads Chocolate Wrestling & Bike Week Fun

22 Check out the Hotties shot by Fred Love!

40 Gridiron Bar & Grill Kendall’s Best Friday Night Bike Night

29 18 Travertson 3D CAD Technology. Innovative and ingenious built right here in Fort Lauderdale.

06 EVENTS 17 07 FOR SALE 40 09 READER’S WRITES 41 10 MS.MARLEY 42 11 HEALTH & WELLNESS 43 14 K.C.’s CORNER 43 15 ASSHOLE JEFF 44 16 ULI THE UNRULY 44

LAW SERVICE W/STEVE-O MACK’S INSITE BIMINI JIM CAPTAIN MIKE HA! HA! HA! CRAZY, BIZARRE YOU OUGHT TO KNOW

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46 Bombshell Boy Nina Sutherland snaps our featured hotties!

FEATURED ADS • Biker’s, Inc. • Peterson’s Harley Davidson • Emerald Hills Pharmacy • Jolly Gator Fish Camp / R. B. Butcher P.A. • Daniel K. Bandklayder • Crossroads Bar • Winston & Clark P.A. • FX Zone • Mean Cycles • Famous trainer • Brian’s Bike Shop • Scorpion ramp • Sebastiano’s Italian Ristorante • Cycle Lab BIKES & BEAUTIES • APRIL 2011 3

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NOTE FROM THE EDITOR

Spring in South Florida is absolutely fantastic. Crystal blue skies, steady heat during the day with crisp ocean breezes at twilight! The perfect formula for stupendous riding weather, the weather that makes you want to fly a kite or lay in the grass, hell anything outside weather! While everyone has been busy flapping their jaws, fighting amongst themselves and spreading rumors, I have been busy at work! Within these pages you will once again notice a few marginal improvements to, as like to call it, “My perpetual work in progress.” Nothing major just a little nip here, tuck there, you know a little trimming of the fat! This month is jam-packed with motorcycle events. We get to party it up at Leesburg Bike Fest April 7th – 10th then from there we are headed to the Big Apple, NYC to do a little market research right after we catch a Yankees game on April 12th. Don’t worry only a few of us are going so we’ll still be kicking it up the Florida East Coast shoreline. At the end of the month we have Thunder Beach 2011 in luscious Panama City Beach April 27th – May 1st a real treat for me! That is one rally I have never been to! Crazy I know, especially since I have lived in Florida all of my life! Super excited about that one! Around this office all the days tend to run together, there are never enough hours a day it seems to get everything done! We desperately need an aggressive Sales Rep for the South Florida Market. No BS, No Excuses! One Hungry Aggressive Intelligent Sales Professional who cannot only talk the talk but, can walk the walk! So, are you interested in joining the hottest Free Motorcycle Lifestyle Publication to hit the Florida market in over 10 years? No fluff, no frill, NO BS! All of us at Bikes & Beauties Magazine are energetically driven to reach one goal one after the other. I firmly believe that if you work hard every day monumental things do happen! Who is ready to work hard and reap the benefits? If you are interested in joining our team, please email your resume containing complete contact information, job history, references and a little information about yourself to Attn: Christy, Email: JobsBikesBeauties@gmail.com or via Fax: (954) 212-2609. For now, catch me if you can! Stay Between the Ditches & Keep the Shiny Side Up! Wardrobe: Lace to Lust Hair & Make-Up: Olivia Smalley, OMG Artistry Body Paint Artist: Marcio Karam, MKarts.com Location: Traverston Ft. Lauderdale

M AG A Z I N E

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Bikes & Beauties Magazine LLC P.O. Box 813269 Hollywood, FL 33081-3269 Ph: 954-789-6986 Fx: 954-212-2609 u

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FIND US ON MYSPACE, FACEBOOK AND FOLLOW US ON TWITTER

GENERAL EMAIL:BIKESANDBEAUTIES@GMAIL.COM ACCOUNTING:BIKESANDBEAUTIES@CS.COM ART DEPT:DESIGNBIKESBEAUTIES@GMAIL.COM SALES:SALESBIKESBEAUTIES@GMAIL.COM TALENT:MODELSBIKESBEAUTIES@GMAIL.COM HR:JOBSBIKESBEAUTIES@GMAIL.COM EDITOR:CHRISTY VITTITOW CEO:KEN SYNFELT PUBLISHER:BULLDOG ENTERPRISES,LLC PHOTOGRAPHY:KEN SYNFELT, JAMES BALBONI, LAURIE HIRST,CAROL GUZIK, MIKE MANN, JIM UHING, JESSIE GREENE,CHRISTY VITTITOW, WAYNE SYSOCK, CLAYTON MANCUSO, FRED LOVE PHOTOGRAPHY (COVER,MODEL SPREADS AND CENTERFOLD)

WRITERS:CHRISTY VITTITOW,KONSTANTINA KAZANAS, HOG DOG,DANIEL BANDKLAYDER,ULI THE UNRULY DISTRIBUTION:NATIONAL DYNAMICS,LLC GENERAL SALES:KEN 954-851-6015, CHRISTY VITTITOW 954-789-6986 CENTRAL FLORIDA SALES:JESSIE GREENE 407-761-7969, NORTH FLORIDA SALES:OPEN POSITION SOUTH FLORIDA SALES:OPEN POSITION PROMOTIONS: COURTNEY PAIGE 954-789-6986 PRODUCTION ASSISTANT: COURTNEY PAIGE, BEAU VITTITOW, MELISSA KING OFFICE MANAGER:CHRISTY SYNFELT 954-789-6986 PRINTING:ANGSTROM GRAPHICS GRAPHIC DESIGN:KONSTANTINA KAZANAS

Bikes & Beauties Magazine TM 2010 is published monthly and NO reproduction of content is permitted without publisher’s written consent. Publisher is not liable for errors in advertising but a correction will be printed. Publisher is not liable for: slandering of any individual, comments, opinions, promises, coupons or lack of fulfillment of any of their columnists or advertisers. We do not promote excessive consumption of alcoholic beverages. Please drink responsibly. Bikes & Beauties Magazine logo is owned solely and nationally by Daniel Moreau. OFFICES NOT OPEN TO THE PUBLIC.

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P L E A S E C A L L T O M A K E A N A P P O I N T M E N T.

BIKES & BEAUTIES • APRIL 2011 5

APRIL 2011

SATURDAY, APR 2 6TH ANNUAL WOMENS DAY CONFERENCE. Leesburg FL www.gatorharley.com , peggy@gatorharley.com Peggy 352-787-8050 SUNDAY, APR 3 SOUTH FLORIDA RIDE FOR KIDS. Deerfield Beach FL www.pbtfus. org/ 800-253-6530 AMERICAN DIABETES POKER RUN - GWRRA. fla.gwrra-regiona.org/ Debbie Ripley Or Danny Donalds 850-682-6377 SUN & FUN POKER RUN - 2ND ANNUAL. Zellwood FL apopkachamber.org 407-886-0204 THURSDAY APR 7 - SUNDAY APR 10 LEESBURG BIKEFEST. Leesburg FL Joe Shipes Info@LeesburgBikefest.com 407-862-5989 FRIDAY APR 8 - MONDAY APR 11 16TH ANNUAL FREEDOM RIGHTS RALLY. Monticello FL 386-943-9610  352-625-6353 SATURDAY APR 9 PANCAKE BREAKFAST. Clermont FLstormyhillharley.com 352-243-7111 NORTHEAST FLORIDA RIDE FOR KIDS. Jacksonville FL www.pbtfus. org/ 800-253-6530 RATS HOLE - LEESBURG BIKEFEST. Leesburg FL leesburgbikefest. com/ www.ratshole.com/ 386-454-3496 NEW! HOGS 4 HEROES LEESBURG. Mt. Dora FL www.hogs4heroes. com info@hogs4heroes.com Linley Patrick 888-791-5510 615-5868265 MUSIC AND MOTORCYCLES. Zephyrhills FL mainstreetzephyrhills. org/ 813-780-1414 SATURDAY APR 9 - SUNDAY APR 10 1ST ANNUAL PINK AND BLUE PARTY. Lakeland FL southerndudezndivaz.com sdnd2010@gmail.com Diva Punkin (secretary) 863-606-8864 SATURDAY APR 16 ADULT EASTER EGG HUNT. Clermont FL stormyhillharley.com peggy@gatorharley.com Peggy 352-787-8050 352-243-7411 HONORING THE PAST RESHAPING THE FUTURE. Fort Pierce FL ltropf@ircsheriff.org Louie Tropf 772-978-6338 6TH ANNUAL GAINESVILLE CHROME DIVAS. Gainesville FL gainesvilleharley.com/ 386-965-4800 352-318-3190 GREEN EGGS & HAM BREAKFAST. Orlando FL fla.gwrra-regiona.org/ James Benson Or Brian Miller 407-617-6853   352-516-5175  HANK BUSBY’S MEMORIAL MOUNTAIN RIDE. Davie, FL. Kickstands up at 9am @ Cafe 27. Party at 8pm. SUNDAY APR 17 BIKERS UNITE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE. Leesburg FL 352-787-8050 AIRPORT LANES MOTORCYCLE RUN. Sanford FL airportlanes@yahoo.com Mary Mcgrew PHONE 407-324-2129 SATURDAY APR 23 8TH ANNUAL EASTER BUNNY TOY RUN. Fort Myers FL fourjays617@ embarqmail.com 239-590-0513 BIKERS FOR BABIES CHARITY EVENT. Panama City FL blueknightsflxxiv.com blueknightsfl24@knology.net 850-819-5877 POKER RUN FOR COREY LANE BEST. Pensacola FL WEDNESDAY APR 27 - SUNDAY MAY 1 OFFICIAL THUNDER BEACH MOTORCYCLE RALLY. Panama City FL info@thunderbeachproductions.com 888-396-1638 850-249-7627 Fax: 850-249-7630 SATURDAY APR 30 ORLANDO FOP 25 MEMORIAL POKER RUN. Orlando FL fop25.com newsletter@fop25.com Shawn Dunlap 407-317-9029 NEW! CRUISIN FOR THE CURE. West Palm Beach FL http://pobmc.org aarons@pobmc.org Pepper Or Mo 561-629-0844 6 BIKES & BEAUTIES • APRIL 2011

SUNDAY’S

• SOUTH FLORIDA CHOPPERS BIKE NITE @ BRASS RING.

Starts at 6:30. 10998 Okeechobee Blvd., Royal Palm Bch, FL. 561-296-4563 • OCEANS ELEVEN. 3111 North Surf Rd., Hollywood, FL. 954-927-5549 • FLOSSIE’S. 3-7. Live Music. 3985 Ravenswood Rd., Dania Bch, FL. 954-583-9656 www.flossiesbar.com • CAFE 27. BBQ noon - 7pm. Bucket Specials! Live Bands! US 27, right off Griffin Rd. across from Everglades Holiday Park. • CAGNEY’S SALOON. 5983 S. University Dr., Davie, FL. 954-689-0035

MONDAY’S

• CRUISERS FOR CHRIST BIKE NIGHT. 7pm. Lefty’s Bar and Grill. 5771 Coral Ridge Dr., Coral Springs, FL. 954-752-3525

TUESDAY’S

• BONEFISH MAC’S SPORTS GRILLE BIKE NITE. 7pm. 2002 E. Sample

Rd., Lighthouse Point, FL. 954-781-6227 • TARPON BEND BIKE NIGHT. 7-12 Live Music. 200 SW 2nd St., Ft. Lauderdale. • HOOTERS. 550 Towne Center Cir., Sanford, FL. 407-324-1272. Sponsored by: Budweiser, Seminole HD, Harsh Clothing. 15% off Food & Merchandise w/ Motorcycle Key. Frequent rider cards available. • LEFTY’SGRILLE. 11300 W State Road 84, Davie FL33325 (954) 474-1410

WEDNESDAY’S

• BIG DAWG’S BIKE NIGHT. 8-11. 10,000 NW 6 Ct., Pembroke Pines. 954-435-2901

• CRABBY JACK’S BIKE NIGHT. 1015 S. Federal Hwy., Deerfield Bch. 954429-3770

• HOOTERS PEMBROKE PINES BIKE NIGHT. Bike parking, drink

specials, other specials. 7990 Pines Blvd. Pembroke Pines, FL 33024. 954-962-6330 • CHIT CHATS 826 N Federal Hwy Pompano Beach, FL 33062 (954) 943-1631 • MICKEY’S BAR 350 Sw 12th Ave, Pompano Beach, FL 33069 (954) 941-1611

THURSDAY’S

•PACKY’S SPORTS GRILL. 11379 W. Palmetto Park Rd. Boca Raton, FL.

33428. Starting Nov. 4th - 7PM. Prize for best bike. • THE PLAYHOUSE GENTLEMENS CLUB. Free VIP parking and no cover. 6pm - close. 5775 Hallandale Bch Blvd, Hollywood, FL 33023 954-963-4422 • G.W. SHARKEYS RAW BAR AND GRILL. 2388 N. University Dr., Coral Springs, FL. Just north of Royal Palm on west side. 954-341-9990 • LAKE WORTH NIGHT BIKE NIGHT. 10th Ave North & 6th Ave South, Lake Worth FL., 561-856-1234 • KINGS HEAD PUB. 5 PM to close. 500 E. Dania Beach Blvd., Dania Bch, FL. Bikers 20% off check, live music. • JESSE’S SPORTS BAR. 5442 W. Atlantic Blvd., Margate, FL • BETTY’S BURGERS PETERSON H-D SOUTH. 104th and US 1, Miami, FL. • BALLER’S ROCK ‘N ROLL SPORTS BAR. 3200 W Hallandale Bch Blvd. Hallandale Bch. 954.985.3870 Every First Thursday of the Month: • VICTORY PRESENTS BIKE & ROD NIGHT. 6-10pm. 840 S. Andrews Ave., Pompano Beach, FL Every Third Thursday of the Month:

• ZO’S OFF THE HOOK ROSSMEYER FT. LAUDERDALE H-D BIKE NIGHT. 2861 East Commercial Blvd, Ft. Lauderdale, FL. (.5 mi east of US1)

FRIDAY’S

• EVERGLADES HOLIDAY PARK BIKE NIGHT. W. end of Griffin Rd., at US 27 • GRIDIRON BAR & GRILL BIKE NIGHT. 8901 SW 157th Ave # 1 Miami, FL 33196 (305) 382-8116

SATURDAY’S

• CLAMSTER’S BAR & GRILL. 1391 S. Military Trail Deerfield Beach, FL 33442. 954-481-3755

• PIRATE REPUBLIC BAR. Sponsored by Bruce Rossmeyer HD, the party

starts at 7pm Every Saturday night. 400 SW 3rd Ave. Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33315. 954-761-3500

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CLASSIFIEDS *FOR SALE* 2007 ROAD KING. ONLY 25,134 MILES!! $13,999.00! LOADED WITH EXTRAS! STAGE 1, PASSENGER BACKREST AND MORE! UP TO A 5 YEAR HD EXTENDED WARRANTY AVAILABLE! FINANCE FOR UP TO 84 MONTHS! NO ADDITIONAL DEALER FEES! ALL YOU PAY IS TAX AND TAG AND YOU’RE DOWN THE ROAD! CALL 305-651-4811 EXT. 108 AND ASK FOR CHRIS WALDEN, THE RIDING MAN’S FRIEND! OR EMAIL CHRISW@MIAMIHARLEY.COM TODAY!

$3,999.00!! BIKES AND BEAUTIES SPECIAL! 1997 XL1200 SPORTSTER. ONLY 31,867 MILES! FINANCE IT FOR UP TO 72 MONTHS! NO ADDITIONAL DEALER FEES! ALL YOU PAY IS TAX AND TAG AND YOU’RE DOWN THE ROAD! CALL 305-651-4811 EXT. 108 AND ASK FOR CHRIS WALDEN, THE RIDING MAN’S FRIEND! OR EMAIL CHRISW@MIAMIHARLEY.COM TODAY! LOOKING TO SELL YOUR BIKE? WE’RE BUYING! CALL TODAY!

2006 ELECTRA GLIDE STANDARD. ONLY 28,436 MILES! $11,999.00 AND INCLUDES A HD FACTORY BACKED 1 YEAR WARRANTY! FACTORY AM/FM/CD PLAYER INSTALLED WITH HANDLEBAR CONTROLS AND A PASSENGER BACKREST. RIDE IT ANYWHERE!!! UP TO A 5 YEAR HD EXTENDED WARRANTY AVAILABLE! FINANCE FOR UP TO 84 MONTHS! NO ADDITIONAL DEALER FEES! CALL 305-651-4811 EXT. 108 AND ASK FOR CHRIS WALDEN OR EMAIL CHRISW@MIAMIHARLEY.COM TODAY!

2010 CROSS BONES! ONLY 2,917 MILES. $15.999.00 BRILLIANT SILVER WITH A BRAWLER SEAT. UP TO A 5 YEAR HD EXTENDED WARRANTY AVAILABLE! FINANCE IT FOR UP TO 72 MONTHS! NO ADDITIONAL DEALER FEES! ALL YOU PAY IS TAX AND TAG AND YOU’RE DOWN THE ROAD! CALL 305-651-4811 EXT. 108 AND ASK FOR CHRIS WALDEN OR EMAIL CHRISW@MIAMIHARLEY.COM TODAY!

 LOOKING TO SELL YOUR BIKE?   WE’RE BUYING! CALL TODAY! 305-651-4811 EXT. 108 and ask for Chris

1976 silver with black FLH Shovelhead, factory rebuilt motor with 870 miles. Everything chrome from front end to motor & primary covers, wrap around oil tanks; runs excellent. Mint condition G.M.A. billet brakes and billet foward controlls. S.&S. carb. plus much more reduced to $8500.00 or best reasonable offer . call ace 954-943-6225 or 954-698-0847 1975 black sportster bobber new full chrome covered shocks,custom flamed spring solo seat,12 inch narrow apes,black powder coated, gma hand controlls,chrome foward controlls,w/ hand& foot shifter[jockey], new tires, chrome spoked wheels, custom rear lights, chrome drag pipes, new battery, chrome lockhart cooler, s+s super carb,new chrome cliper+ stainless disc,chrome chain guard+new oring chain 1kicker,bike is mint. call ace 954-943-6225

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BIKES& IES BEAUTBAG MAIL

READER’S WRITES

Send Us Your Stories! Bikes&Beauties Magazine, L.L.C. • P.O. Box 813269, Hollywood, FL 33081-3269 • E-mail: bikesandbeauties@gmail.com

FROM SCARED SILLY TO BIKER WAVE by Michelle S.

First Bike Ride I grew up with a dad who built hot-rods. Because of him, I had cars throughout high school and college that were much older than I. In fact, on my college car, a 65 Nash Rambler, I had to replace every part from the radiator to the firewall in my college car, which first and foremost, meant convincing the salesperson at NAPA that I really did know the difference between a slant six and a regular six. At 29, I married my husband, who loves anything with wheels. And then, because I wanted a little more motor oil in my bloodstream, I began autocross racing, which led to track racing about a year ago. So when I decided to stop hanging on the back of my husband’s bike, and get my own, I thought I was a shoe-in for the role of “Best First Time Biker.” In fact, because motor sports were so common to me growing up, I was stunned when I felt the air get sucked out of the room when I showed up for my first night of the MSF class. I was even more stunned when I realized that I was the “chick” that the rest of the guys didn’t want to slow down their class. Suffice it to say that after dropping the bike twice, I felt that I might have slowed the class slightly, but I did pass! After the class I was eager to buy my own bike but I knew that I wanted a sport bike, not a cruiser. It’s not that I have anything against cruisers, it’s just that I knew I would feel more comfortable in the more upright position of a sport bike. So as a new — and very short — rider I basically had two options; a Ninja 250 and a Ninja 500. After a month of looking, I decided on a used 2000 Ninja 500. When my husband brought home the bike — I was too chicken to attempt the “busy” streets between the bike shop and our house — I wanted to take it for a ride around our neighborhood. I started out slow. Okay, I started out stalling the bike! And after about five tries, I finally got it rolling forward. One trip around the block and I knew I needed some more parking lot time. So we did drills in the elementary school lot. And then we did some more. And then I graduated — to a large office lot where we did more drills!

Finally, after a few days of drills, I proclaimed, “I’m ready for the street!” And my husband agreed. He suggested that after work we do a nice route that would include a little traffic, a nice mountain road that had a sharp right turn followed by a quick left, a little merging and some good sweepers. Inside the safety of my home, this sounded like a wonderful idea. But, the day of the planned ride, I got on the Internet and read about lots and lots of failed rides. Before you know it, I’m having anxiety attacks and I’m still sitting at my desk at work! When the time came to ride, my heart was lodged so firmly in my throat it would have taken Lamaze-style breathing exercises to get it back where it belonged. But not wanting to show my fear (other animals, like husbands, can sense this anyway) I grit my teeth, smiled and said, “Let’s ride!” For the first twenty minutes of the ride, I did not believe that there was enough air in the atmosphere for me to breathe. I mean I was breathing in and out so hard, that I had to lift the face shield of my helmet just to see through the fog I was creating! During the ride I loosened up. I gradually came to terms with the fact that although I felt invisible and naked: I did in fact, wear clothes (and some darn fine safety gear!) and I did not miraculously defy the laws of physics and become invisible. (With nods and respect to those who say to ride as if you’re invisible, for this ride, it was important to have a smidgen of faith that I had not become an episode of the X Files.) And you know what? The lessons of my MSF class paid off! I remembered to Slow, Look, Press and Roll; I found the turn signals; I actually managed to downshift into first before coming to a stop sign (okay there was that one time, when I didn’t make it, but… no one behind us so no harm, no foul…) Best of all? I gained a level of confidence about myself that I don’t think would have been possible by any other means. And, I got to do the “biker wave” as a driver — not as a passenger! I felt the wind on my face and between the large blocks of time that could be classified as scared silly I felt strangely free and that is what I think biking is all about! Here’s to your first ride, may it be safe and great!

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BIKES & BEAUTIES • APRIL 2011 9

MS. MARLEY & HER HARLEY

Me & My Big Mouth! t’s amazing to me the way the moon affects all of us in different ways. For me the Super Moon brought a lot of fun and a little too much alcohol. Regardless, I have a tendency to be brutally honest, if you don’t like hearing the truth then we most likely don’t spend much time together. I don’t candy coat it, I tell it like it is. It tends to be something that gets a little more brutal when alcohol is added. I spent my Sunday working, which means ride, click, sip, sip, click. After a very long day that began at 8:30 am I ended up in downtown Hollywood with the husband and two of his friends from Chicago. Needless to say within 43 minutes of being with his “friends”, old man-gina over here decides to start being a jerk, talks to me rudely and then has the audacity to send me a text about my “bossy big mouth,” which is funny since there was NO BOSSING, NO BITCHING or any other reason to be a dick to me. Of course I told him to take his man BS and shove it, not to talk to me that way, be nice and sweet NOT sour and mean. Especially for no reason!!!! That was the beginning by 11:30 pm I had walked home! What does that tell you? …..Exactly! After much thought and consideration of what had transpired I only have one thing to say. But before I do I am going to go back a little and

10 BIKES & BEAUTIES • APRIL 2011

give a little disclaimer. If anyone noticed, last September was the last time I wrote my TRUE, PERSONAL feelings on any subject. I, like every human have the right to say whatever the hell I want, whenever I want! It is in turn your right not to listen or read it! If you do not want to hear what I have to say then why are you reading my articles or sharing my space With that being said let me tell you about “Me & My Big Mouth!” You may not like it! It may annoy you, or at times even piss you off. It may be something that even makes certain people you care about hate me BUT, the one thing it is in my eyes. Is GOLDEN!! This “Big Mouth” can make a complete stranger or old friend feel welcomed, intrigued and entertained for hours. Even if the big mouth is a little nasty, the stranger will stay and enjoy every minute. This mouth can sell a golf ball to a garden hose, providing it with a lifetime of security with accidental death insurance right after I sell it a set of perfectly polished pistons. “Me & My Big Mouth” are witty and charming, energetic and intelligent. We are humble and driven and have a heart of gold. “Me & My Big Mouth” have strength that can move mountains. Who has lived their life to the fullest and embraced every triumph, mistake,

downfall, tragedy and accomplishment. Who dreams big and never loses sight of the profoundly important things in life. Like our children, our family, our friends and our adventures and moments in time shared together. “Me & My Big Mouth” are caring and compassionate super sensitive and damn sexy. So remember that if you don’t like “Me & My Big Mouth” then by all means feel free to remove yourself from my space, cut me out all together or run if needed. But by all means do not stick around and then complain about it! If you spout negativity chances are that you will get it back fifty fold. Unlike most people I do not see the need to act fake or any certain way that pleases everyone. I am who I am, take it or leave it! I see a duck for a duck and an a$$hole as an a$$hole. Simple black and white, seeing no need for gray matter and no need to be something or someone I am not. I am proud of who I am, outgoing, courageous, energetic and intelligent WITH a Big Mouth!

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HEALTH & WELLNESS

HOW TO DO A NATURAL BODY CLEANSE

AS POSTED ON: HTTP://WWW.EHOW.COM/HOW_4492874_DO-NATURAL-BODYCLEANSE.HTML Body cleanses are the hottest thing to do to lose weight. There are many companies out there that package body cleanses to the masses to help them lose weight. You do not need to spend money on these over priced laxatives. A body cleanse is basically a laxative that has been marketed as a body cleanse to help you to lose weight. The inside of these body cleanses give you a specific diet that you need to follow while on them to help rid your body of toxins. You do not need to take these body cleanse laxatives to cleanse your body of the toxins that have built up over time. A small change in your diet can cleanse your body and start you on the road to healthy weight loss. Difficulty: Moderately Easy Instructions * 1 While you are on this body cleanse it is important that you stay away from any food that contains any artificial ingredients. These are the items that help your body to build up toxins that stop you from losing weight. One weight loss show that I have watched summed it up best. If you can not pronounce the ingredient then you should not be eating it. * 2 There is nothing healthier that you can drink for your body then water. This is plain water. None of the flavored or vitamin waters should be consumed when you are doing a body cleanse. Drink at least 6 bottles of water a day. This will help to keep everything flowing naturally through your body as you do the body cleanse. * 3 For breakfast, you need to eat fresh fruit. The denser the fresh fruit is the better that it for your body cleanse. These fruits contain a lot of water that will help to clear out your digestive system. * 4 The rest of your meals and snack should contain only fresh and raw fruits and vegetables. This will keep your body from taking in any extra toxins during your body cleanse. Do not use any salt, oils, or dressings on your fruits and vegetables. They will halt the body cleanse in its tracks. You will see a sudden weight loss from the water weight that you will drop when you are on the body cleanse. * 5 Follow this fruit and vegetable body cleanse for a week. When you start eating normally again, you will want to eat high fiber carbs and low fat proteins along with your fruits and vegetables. This will help to increase the weight that you will lose from having done a body cleanse.

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KC'S CORNER TABLE

HELPING HANDS

So Joe and Tony from Blue Star MC found the problem with my Lightning, they made a temporary fix while we were on the side of PA 32, and we headed south into New Hope to have a couple cold ones. For a point adjustment that was made using a matchbook cover as a feeler gauge, the BSA was running perfectly. Joe and Tony were leading the way, and since Susie and I were on a “Limey” bike, we had to ride in the back. That’s just the way it was in the 60’s. We had a nice little cruise into New Hope, and stopped in at an old pre-Revolutionary War inn that was now rustic little bar and grill. In one of the windows was a red neon sign that read “Schmidt’s of Philadelphia On Tap”. Back before Corporate America started taking over everything there were so many delightful local brews available that are now long gone. As it turned out, Joe and Tony were also big fans of Schmidt’s, and they had been to this place before, so who was I to argue? After parking the bikes in the little parking lot on the side we all walked in, and the bartender knew them both by name, so Susie and I got introduced and the four of us proceeded to get the best seats at the bar. Without even asking, the bartender drew four glasses of Schmidt’s from the tap and put one in front of each of us. He then poured four shots of Old Grand Dad bourbon and slid one next to each draft beer. Without saying a word, he then drew a fifth glass of Schmidt’s, poured another Old Grand Dad, and set them both on the bar right in front of himself. I was starting to get a little nervous because Susie and I only had a couple bucks left between the two of us, and as I started to reach for my wallet Joe Long looked at me and said “Put it away, kid, tonight is on me! Drink up! Let’s have some menus, too.” I couldn’t believe it. Here’s two guys I just met a couple weeks ago, they stop by the side of the road, fix my bike, and now the one is buying us drinks and something to eat. I started thinking to myself that if I had been alone, would they be so helpful and hospitable, or was Susie the magnet? As the evening progressed I found my suspicions had been completely unwarranted. Both Joe and Tony were talking to both of us, but most of the talk was just about bikes. Both of them understood that I was young and the BSA was the best I could afford at the time, but they did their best to impress upon me the fact that I really did need to get a Harley ASAP. They both even offered to help me find one that would be something I could afford, but still be a good buy and reliable. I even got an education from the bartender on proper maintenance of a good, clean draft beer set-up. He demonstrated to 14 BIKES & BEAUTIES • APRIL 2011

me that when a draft system was set-up properly and the glasses were cleaned correctly, as you drank the glass of beer you would see the foam on the side of the glass form little “spider webs” as the level of the beer dropped. I was impressed. The things you learn in a bar! We all had the specialty of the house, the “Bucks County Burger”, again courtesy of Joe Long, and a few more rounds. It was a truly idyllic evening. All of a sudden, and completely out of the blue, we heard a loud crack, then an even louder tremendous rumbling that shook the building. All four of us stopped in our tracks, looked at each other, and knew what was coming. Tony spoke first, “We better get the Hell out of here and quick!” The grizzled old farmer in worn bib overalls who had seated himself next to me during the course of the evening tapped me on the arm and said “You know what that is, son?” I looked over at the smiling old gent and knew what was coming. Some corn-pone, time worn old country story, so I thought I’d beat him to the punch. “Yeah, I know what that is, Pop. That’s Rip Van Winkle and his Knickerbocker buddies from the Hudson River Valley. They’re up in heaven, bowling. When one of them makes a strike, that’s the loud noise you hear!” I thought I had him good. The old geezer cracks up and says “No, you damned fool! That’s thunder!” Turns out he got me good. We all had a good laugh, at my expense, Joe paid the bill and we headed out to the parking lot. As soon as we got outside we could see gigantic bolts of lightning shooting across the sky, lighting up all of New Hope. To the east, there was a half moon and stars. To the west, there was horrendous lightning and huge thunderheads building and moving in fast. The lightning was getting more intense and the thunder kept getting louder. We fired up the bikes and Tony yelled, “Screw the speed limit, let’s get the Hell out of here!” I’d been riding for four years now, and had gotten caught in a few showers, some of them kind of heavy. But nothing like what was ahead of us. There were no saddlebags on the BSA, and all Susie and I had was what we were wearing. No jackets, no rain suits, nothing. After all, it was a hot July afternoon in the summer of 1969 when we left New Brunswick. Little did we know, but we were about to experience our first full blown monsoon while on two wheels. Ride safe, KC

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WE’LL FEED IT TO YOU WITH A SPOON B Y: A S S H O L E J E F F

JUST BLAME IT ON THE JEWS

Unlike a lot of people I do not blame Jews often for any of my ilks or the problems that face this country. They have spent their lives being shifted from one location to another by the rest of the world and everywhere they show up there are a few million less. Like the joke says, “we are coming, now we are leaving, please don’t hit us!” What did they do that was so bad to make everyone hate them, killing Jesus isn’t enough for the ridicule of the world, what was it? I think it is because they brought religion into good old fashioned screwing, and like always they brought guilt along with them!

Like the joke says, “we are coming, now we are leaving, please don’t hit us!” What did they do that was so bad to make everyone hate them, killing Jesus isn’t enough for the ridicule of the world, what was it? It is what they do. Nobody bears the cross of guilt better then a Jew, it’s their stick! They had a guy to carry the cross for a few hours but they got a bit ornery with the nails and spears and lost him. I can picture it now, “oh shit, I think we killed him Abraham?” “Damn, oh well. We will be tossed from this land soon anyways. What should we do with ourselves Judas?” “Well, I heard that Moses is going for a walk so we could follow him. Probably be for a few hours or more and we will have to cross a sea but we are Jews. Then I think we should look into this diamond business and call our friend Katz about opening a few deli’s in the new world.” “New world?” “In a few hundred years they will beg for our dipped pastrami. That is when we will take over the world. “ “I’m confused Judas,” sigh “just stick him again, I think the bastard is still moving.”

“In a few hundred years they will beg for our dipped pastrami. That is when we will take over the world. “ www.bikesbeauties.com

Religion should not be involved in sex! That is my point and I poke fun at the Jews because I had not gotten to them previously over the past two years but also because of their peculiar sexual practices. They are not the only ones, every religion has them. Islam, you can marry someone for as little as an hour! Buddhism, Tiger Woods! You just dropped down on the respectability charts. Under Buddhist principles you are never to give in to the pleasures of the flesh, WTF? You knocked everything in Windermere that was not attractive, I could almost understand but no I can’t. You went on a parade of drilling ugly old chicks from Perkins, Buddhist my ass. I am sure it says in there somewhere that if you are going to stray be sure that she is hotter than your wife. It is just all screwed up and Jews started it. There guilt led to all other forms of sexual degradation. They call it the “Niddah” when Jewish couples should be separated. In English, she is bleeding like a banshee so move along, we will see you next week. I would like a chance at the girl’s ass. They all do it; every religion keeps you from enjoying sex. In Scientology they audit you and have a monitor as they give you the results. In Islam, you just pick the youngest cousin you have and go Mohammed

She could walk into a bar, ask to sit her little patooki down and I would use my best line; “now that I have seen your patooki, I’m gonna go home and pawacki.” on her. If you are Christian you just take off your shorts and wait for the priest, it is all for god! Jeff is a Christian, and I love Jesus. He has done me no harm and loves the fact that I like Jewish girls from long island. Sami from Jersey Shore, I’d knock the bottom out of that ass. I wouldn’t need my Mormon temple garment one piece or anything else. She could walk into a bar, ask to sit her little patooki down and I would use my best line; “now that I have seen your patooki, I’m gonna go home and pawacki.” She just looks at me, and then spouts some Hebrew. Hotza’at zera levatala. You never secret semen in vain!

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ULI the UNRULY

“BROTHERLY” LOVE

When was the last time you pulled an All-Nighter? OK, I know some of you are now yelling out “Whaddaya MEAN? Every Weekend!”…. to the rest of you shaking your heads, all grown up, serious folks, who seem to have forgotten your wild and crazy days, I say : TIME TO DO IT AGAIN! We live in paradise, remember? You see, just last weekend my brother Keewy and I just took off into the sunset. Well, sorta. After stopping at the Hurricane in Dania, we headed north up A1A, nice and easy, taking in the fresh ocean air, watching the crimson sparkles dancing on the ocean waves getting swallowed by the seafoam, tasting the salt, getting whiffs of grilled meat, fresh bread, rotten garbage, perfume, with the wind in our hair. Forgot all about time and space, just flying up the coast, the bikes and ocean making sweet music in our ears, all worries, stress, the weight of the world, flying away with the breeze; if that isn’t heaven I don’t know what is - and I don’t want it. The “United Half Acre of Dave” called us. Mickey’s in Pompano, Lisa had made the best chicken stew I’ve tasted in a very long while, perfect timing. The late night crowd was happy, singing along with Hank Williams’ I, II and III songs, grabbing guitars and just having a good old time. Mind you – Mickey’s is not for everyone. If you go there expecting rap or club music, guys with their pants under their butts, girls with 10 inch nails and hooker costumes – don’t. But, if you’re an honest biker at heart and like down to earth things, music and people and a real good time, don’t let anything stop you. You can’t end fun just like that because the clock is ticking. That’s just wrong. So, after fun with “the wild tribe” we took off to Singers, just a squirt away (W of 95 OFF Sample,S on 8th Ave #3521, say HI to Chris!) That place is open around the clock and we had clams, that I just HAD to try; they were, to my great surprise, most edible, superfresh, even at 4 in the morning… that’s when it really starts to fill up, nice mixed crowd, beautiful bartender Gia, great breakfast. It’s THE place to go after hours, like we used to. We used to ride a lot more. I’d like to get back into that groove. 25 girls took off from Café 27 the other morning, heading for Clewiston. Through the reservation, Snake Road (not as many bugs this time.) It was a ride with obstacles, which adds to greatness. First, the shifter peg fell off the BlapMobile (yup, my broom is STILL in pieces, thanks Modest Mike for loaning me yours.) Not a big problem, Carol came running and screwed it back on before I could even get off the bike. Talk about efficiency! I took pictures and video during the ride and during my speed-off, wait and video spurts I saw that Laurie was missing. Her clutch broke and she was trailing behind in first gear. The girls kept going, Laurie had told them she’d be alright, not OK in my book and I stopped to turn around and find her. Reception for Metro sucks out there so, if anything else happened, she’d be stuck in the middle of the Everglades, without shelter, water or help. So, here I am, turning around on that worn out country road, a car is coming and I’m timing my turn smoothly with the speed of the oncoming car. Didn’t count on the gawkidity of the cager, who slowed down. That threw off my calculation and I had to short stop. The BlapMobile is so tall that I have to Ballerina-toe it when I stop. So, I 16 BIKES & BEAUTIES • APRIL 2011

put my foot down and - nothing. A damn, deep, dip.The bike leans and I try to footfish firm ground. By the time I felt Mother Earth, gravity had grabbed the bike and it crashed. No way to hold it.The cager kept going. The adrenaline rush gave me the hulkness to lift it up. From the right, though - Equestrians suck at things done from the right. Couldn’t reach t h e kickstand with my hand from the other side and, finally, out of desperation, did a cartoon jump and made it! Glad no one saw that. Assessed the damage. Back brake bent into the primary. Front brake gone. It still started. Just as I was about to head back in Laurie’s direction again, I heard her, and Karen! The three of us went 30 miles in 1st gear, through beautiful, hot and steamy nature. No clutch, no brakes and no care. Great times. Those are brothers. Female ones. There is such a thing, you know. A great “hello” awaited us when we got to Roland’s Tiki Bar. We ate, danced, laughed, had a great time. Brian and Sal were en route with the double trailer to pick us two havarists up. We know some damn fantastic people. On the way home we stopped by Brian’s Bike Shop (next to Flossie’s) and he quickly repaired the BlapMobile. THANKS!! Smoothly moved on to Flossie’s and home. What a perfect Sunday, nobody acted the fool. After Poppy’s First Annual Memorial Ride on the 27th from the NiteCap, by Cagney’s, to Holiday Park where the plaques are, and back to Cagney’s, we have Hank’s Memorial Ride and Party coming up. He always wanted to ride to “The Mountains of Florida” and it never worked out. The last couple of times we spoke during one of our cellmarathons he said “we’ll go ridin’, little girl. Like we all used to back then. Get the guys together and just ride. I’ll be OK, give me a week or two”.So, ride we will. To the Mountains of Florida. Come hell or high water. The date is set for April 16th, Café 27, 9am. We’ll ride, those of us who want or can. It’ll be a long ride. When we return, we’ll join the party. There will be food, music and merriment, as always. Let’s celebrate the life of one of the best friends anyone could ever wish for. My friend, my brother, my rock Hank Busby. Condolences to the States MC for the loss of their brother Emmett. Thoughts and prayers are with you, Emmett and all who knew and loved you. Time to head home, nice and easy, enjoy taking in the fresh ocean air, watching the crimson sparkles, dancing on the ocean waves getting swallowed by the seafoam, tasting the salt, getting whiffs of fried eggs n bacon, fresh bread, fresh laundry, perfume, with the wind in our hair. Forget all about time and space, just fly down the coast, the bikes and ocean making sweet music in your ears…all worries, stress, the weight of the world, flying away with the breeze. Enjoy life and eachother, we know how short that can be.Thanks to my love, my brothers and friends for sharing great times. Be safe out there! “ Ride, Mutha, Ride” and ride it like you stole it. I love you, man, Uli All Pictures, VIDEOS, event details on FaceBook nmhfi@aol.com www.bikesbeauties.com

RIDING WITH ATTORNEY DANIEL B. DANB@DKB-LAW.COM

PROTECT YOURSELF GET “UM” INSURANCE! Most motorcycle accidents are caused by the carelessness and negligence of folks driving cars. Oncoming cars make left turns directly in front of us; cars in adjoining lanes routinely and abruptly change lanes without looking or signaling; drivers pull out of driveways directly into our path and, of course, they rear-end us at red lights while texting and chatting on their cell phones. It’s just a fact of life here in South Florida. Here’s another fact: many of these drivers have little or no insurance. Why? Because in Florida, believe it or not, the law does not require them to carry bodily injury liability insurance . . . so they don’t! If you are injured by one of these uninsured drivers, you may be out of luck. Even if you sue them and win, they probably don’t have the money to pay the judgment. You are stuck with huge hospital/medical bills, being out of work and repairing or losing your bike. As they say, “you can’t get blood from a stone.” Now the good news: You can protect yourself . . . by getting “uninsured motorist” insurance coverage, commonly referred to as “UM” coverage. In Florida, every insurance company that sells motor vehicle liability insurance is required to also offer UM coverage. Here’s how it works: just tell your insurance agent you want to add UM coverage to your existing policy. Or, get UM coverage when you purchase a new, replacement or renewal policy. . . UM coverage costs extra, but IT DEFINITELY IS WORTH IT because your UM coverage will protect YOU and pay benefits directly to you if you are injured by an uninsured driver. When you have UM coverage, your own insurance company basically “steps into the shoes” of the uninsured driver, and must pay you for the injuries and losses that the uninsured driver caused. This includes your pain and suffering, disability, lost earnings, hospital and medical expenses – basically, everything you would have been entitled to recover if you had sued the other driver and won. Of course, your UM benefits will be limited to the amount of “coverage” that you buy, so I recommend that you buy the highest limits you can reasonably afford. So, what’s the catch? The catch is that UM coverage can be expensive. A rider with a good driving record can probably expect to pay an extra $500 per year, more or less,

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for UM coverage of $100,000 per person. Check with your agent for quotes, as different companies charge different amounts. Hopefully, you’ll never need it, but I can tell you from experience – no client of mine ever complained, after being seriously injured by an uninsured driver, that they paid too much for their UM coverage! On a lighter note: In early March it was my privilege to ride along with the Southernmost HOGS to the annual seafood festival in Marathon. The weather was magnificent; truly, another day in Paradise. At the festival, an elderly female tourist asked us if she could photograph the “motorcycle gang” with the HOG emblems on their vests. Director Mike Zucker explained: “Lady, the only thing we’re dangerous to is a buffet table!” Later, in private, he confided to me that he is considering a new club motto: “Welcome to the trough.” All kidding aside, the HOGS are a very friendly, laid back and easygoing group and a real pleasure to ride with. Ride Safe, Dan

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BIKES & BEAUTIES

How do you know a custom bike is absolutely, unequivocally and without a doubt among the most attention-grabbing, one-of-a-kind and innovative examples of two wheeled transportation on the planet? [a] It attracts more attention than Kim Kardashian sitting naked at Flanigan’s bar during happy hour; [b] Arab sheiks order a few - in their favorite colors, of course; [c] Jay Leno asks you to build him a bike, too – but powered by a turbine jet engine; [d] the bike is designed using real-time, 3D CAD computer simulation technology and earns multiple U.S. patents. If you checked “all of the above” . . . meet the Travertson V18 BIKES & BEAUTIES • APRIL 2011

Rex. Built right here in Fort Lauderdale by Christian Travert and Travertson Motorcycles, www.travertson. com, the V-Rex definitely gets my vote for the bike most likely to stop all nearby pedestrian and vehicular traffic. In fact, when Travertson displayed the V-Rex just outside the Seminole Hard Rock Casino entrance, the crowd got so big they had to relocate the display because customers couldn’t get in or out. But, beauty is only skin deep – and happily, the V-Rex’ isn’t just incredibly great looking – it is an engineering marvel that combines futuristic form with function, reliability and serviceability developed as a result of Christian’s www.bikesbeauties.com

BIKES & BEAUTIES

Travertson

20+ years of racing experience throughout Europe, Africa and the punishing, unforgiving environment of Saharan endurance races. The engine, an HD V-Rod 1250 cc, 120 HP Revolution, is a robust and reliable water-cooled powerplant that can be serviced at any HD shop. The 4.8 gallon fuel tank, coupled with 47 mpg highway, 37 mpg city, provides ample endurance, and Christian insists that at least one of his customers regularly rides his V-Rex from Fort Lauderdale to Key West, round trip. With a 26” seat height, and a highly unusual “twin swing arm, fully adjustable hydraulic shock” front suspension, the ride is www.bikesbeauties.com

comfortable, with good handling, according to reports (unfortunately, my visit to the Travertson shop didn’t include a test ride). The V-Rex’s systems - mechanical, electrical, cooling and fuel – are all shielded and designed to minimize the likelihood of damage from debris, water, road and environmental conditions, and can be serviced, repaired or replaced if needed by any shop - and even mechanically inclined riders - using a minimal number of basic, everyday tools, and simple, computer-generated “how-to” instructional drawings from Travertson. No special tools required! Again, these are areas where lessons learned through endurance BIKES & BEAUTIES • APRIL 2011 19

BIKES & BEAUTIES racing – and first-hand experience in repairing race bikes “on the fly” – have combined to make V-Rex an unusually reliable and serviceable bike, despite its high-end, custom appearance. One safety feature I found especially fascinating, and desirable, is the high-intensity LED turn signal system built into each end of the handlebar. It is similar to the turn signals many new cars now have in their side-view mirrors, only V-Rex’s turn signals are strobelike, and much brighter. They are impossible to miss, even in bright daylight. Christian holds a U.S. patent on these turn signals. I predict that over time, every new bike is going to have them - they will become as standardized as intermittent windshield wipers on cars. Kind of makes you wonder why nobody thought of it before. So, Christian has indeed built a beautiful, functional and brilliantly engineered bike . . . but what does he do in his spare time? Well .

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. . he holds over thirty U.S. patents. He has assisted our U.S. military (as well as the French and Israelis) by designing and fabricating lifesaving vehicular armoring systems and oneway bullet proof glass (believe it or not, the driver can shoot “out” through the glass, but people outside the vehicle can’t shoot “in”). When the U.S. first invaded Iraq, and urgently needed to armor over 3,000 trucks overseas, Christian quickly (in 15 days) designed and fabricated an armoring system capable of being installed by each truck driver, alone, using only one tool, and one size bolt, in a matter of hours. Christian also designs and fabricates jet engine tooling and diagnostic equipment for jet engine repair shops. And, last but not least, he has designed and built a working prototype V-4, 250 HP water-cooled motorcycle engine that looks great, fits in an HD Softail frame and weighs a mere 200 lbs. When that engine is in production, my Street Glide and I definitely will be waiting in line to get one!

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GIRLS

Kimberly Martin

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www.bikesbeauties.com Fred Love Photography

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KITTY OF THE MONTH

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APRIL 2011

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Scene Around BIKES & BEAUTIES

OUR SHUTTER-BUG SNAPS THE EVENTS YOU MISSED OUT ON. HAVE A BEER, HOSS.

Bikes&Beauties Magazine was up to no good and causing trouble all month long! We spent the entire month partying are tails off doing what we do best! Ride, Sip, Click, Click! We kicked the month getting schnockered at the 70th Annual Daytona Beach Bike Week see our coverage on Page 29. While we were there we took a stroll down Flagler Avenue in quaint New Smyrna Beach for the Fat Tuesday Mardi Gras Parade, check it out on Page 30. The month wouldn’t be complete without a police escorted ride in the name of charity, take a look at the photos from the BBRCF Ride for Smile on Page 32. Putting the boys to shame some of us girls got together and took a ride out to Clewiston, check it out on Page 34. While we were whooping it up for Bike Week we took a ride over to the Jolly Gator Fish Camp in Geneva for one hell of a good time, take a look at Page 36 for the hot bikini contest action!

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30 MARDI GRAS ON FLAGLER

32 RIDE FOR SMILES

34 ALL GIRL’S RIDE

36 ORLANDO www.bikesbeauties.com

SCENE AROUND > BIKE WEEK - DAYTONA BEACH, FL

DAYTONA BIKE WEEK 2011 Before writing this I did a little research just to see what the rest of the world had to say about the 70th Annual Daytona Beach Bike Week. Not because I didn’t have an opinion, just to satisfy my curiosity and give me the needed push to spout reality. Numbers were not just down some nights it was a damn ghost town! In the 19 years I have attended this event never have I seen so few people. Granted some places were packed but as a whole there was a significant visible difference in attendance this year from years past. We had a great time doing what we love but, it wasn’t because the bars were hoping every night it was

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our group who created their own fun! I feel sorry for the people who shelled out thousands of dollars for desolate Vendor space. Bike Week needs a facelift! Someone that can come in rip apart and restructure everything! There are a few places that draw the crowds, The Cabbage Patch, Tropical Willies, Iron Horse Saloon, Main Street and Destination Daytona but who the hell is booking the entertainment?? We see all the same bands again and again and again! It’s sad that you can see a better concert at a damn Rodeo Ground or Strawberry Festival then at a 70th Annual Motorcycle Event! Really! Time for a change!

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SCENE AROUND

MARDI GRAS ON FLAGLER

> MARDI GRAS ON FLAGLER - NEW SMYRNA BEACH, FL

Kicking off our Bike Week Tour I returned to a place near and dear to my heart. As a child and throughout most of my adult years I splashed in the waters along the Volusia County shoreline South of Ponce Inlet! I made a home their just before I almost lost my life, my son. Now every time I return, I breathe a deep sigh of relief and a breath of fresh air just as I cross over the bridge to the beach side. It is a feeling of great relief and happiness! It had been a while since I stepped foot on New Smyrna Beach, when my tiny toes finally touched sand in the beach lot on Flagler Avenue it felt incredible! Not only were we lining up to participate in the Annual Mardi Gras Parade it was Fat Tuesday! Coming to NSB in many ways feels like coming home! I have family within reach, great friends, many acquaintances; a few ex’s and even an enemy or two! When I accepted this invitation I was excited to be back and had no clue what to expect as we found our place in line of the Mardi Gras on Flagler Fat Tuesday Parade. As we rounded the corner I must admit I was flabbergasted at the astonishing numbers in attendance, absolutely amazing! In my 35 years I have never seen that many people on Flagler Avenue! Congratulations to all of the Merchants of Flagler for a very successful event! Can’t wait to do it again next year!

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SCENE AROUND

> FX ZONE GRAND OPENING PARTY - MIAMI, FL

FX ZONE GRAND OPENING PARTY

If you haven’t heard about this new shop, let us be the first to tell you that these guys are fully loaded and ready to serve all of your needs. Just as Patrick and his gang know how to transform any vehicle you own into a work of art they also know to transform their shop into a party zone. With a little help from Soulicide and a mass of laser lights the stage was set for a night of hard rocking under smiling stars and a voluptuous moon. Be sure to check out the Jeep the boys tricked out to compete in the quarter mile when you stop by!

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SCENE AROUND > RIDE FOR SMILES

RIDE FOR SMILES BBRCF Ride for Smiles was held Sunday March 20, 2011 under a blanket of incandescent blue skies and a crisp breeze of spring, the kind of weather that makes you happy to be alive. For the fourth year in a Ron Catronio and the Big Bike Riders Children Foundation held this 59 mile fully escorted ride from the Chris Everett Children’s Hospital over the 17th Street Causeway, Down Ft. Lauderdale Beach and out I-595 to Highway 27 to Bru’s Room in Coral Springs. At least seven hundred bikes filled the parking lot and surrounding areas of the Children’s Hospital just off of Andrews Avenue, Ft. Lauderdale. Community Leaders, participants, athletes and volunteers feasted on a breakfast buffet of bagels, pastries and fruit underneath the radiant South Florida sun. Once arriving at their escorted destination more than two thousand people rocked out to three fantastic bands, The Baker Act, Hat Trick and one of my favorites Southern Rock Society. As the bands played the party goers were entertained by the Harley-Davidson Drill Teams, a stunt show and a lot full of Vendors. Once again the Big Bike Riders Children’s Foundation raised a substantial amount of money for an excellent cause and gave a community of motorcycle junkies a reason to get out and ride! For more information on the BBRCF please log onto http://bbrcf.com/

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SCENE AROUND > RIDE FOR SMILES

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SCENE AROUND

LADIES ONLY PLEASE

> NO BOYS ALLOWED, ALL FEMALE RIDE

Just before her motorcycle accident Sandra Stefani had organized an all girls ride for Sunday February 27th. Although she was unable to attend, twentyfive Lady Riders kept their plans in her honor. Meeting up at Café 27, the ladies took a ride out I-75 up Snake Road to Clewiston, Florida located on the Southwest corner of Lake Okeechobee. Where they laughed and cut up while having lunch at the refreshing Roland & Mary Martin’s Marina. After lunch the group split, some to go see Sandra at the Rehabilitation Center and some to trailer their scoots home due to a few as the ladies called it ‘technical difficulties.” This group of gals is quite serious about their all Lady rides. Stay tuned for future ride dates! Ride Safe & Be Free!

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SCENE AROUND > JOLLY GATOR - ORLANDO, FL

JOLLY GATOR

Sick of the same old worn out Bike Week Entertainment we set out to do it a little differently this year! A few weeks before the end of February we hopped on the bikes and took a ride from Seminole Harley-Davidson out SR 46. We stopped at the Geneva Bridge at the park & boat launch. Nestled back on the water was a great little place called the Jolly Gator Fish Camp. So after learning of this gem of a spot we planned a Ride & Party for Friday March 11, 2011. Although it was freezing balls! We managed to gather a group of riders and make our way from Seminole HD to this old Florida Dive on the edge of Lake Harney. We rocked the night out to the sounds of Ernie Southern & the DeltaHolics with their intoxicatingly sweet southern blues. Our Beauties competed in a Bikini Contest that made a certain Canadian fall off the table! Big Fun! Stay tuned we are planning a Poker Run in the coming months! Stop by and see Roger & Jamie at the Jolly Gator located at 4650 East SR 46, Geneva, FL 32732 Cold beers, fabulous vine, great food and the best sunset ever!

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SCENE AROUND > CROSSROADS - ORLANDO, FL

CROSSROADS

If you have never been to Crossroads Bar & Grill in Deland, you are missing out! Owner Rudy and his unbelievable staff throw one hell of a party. We spent Wednesday night rocking the roof off the bar with HOG Radio, Chocolate wrestling and a little something for everyone! Next time you are in the area or headed out to Daytona Beach, Stop in! Located at I-4 & SR 44 at the DeLand exit right next to the Howard Johnson! Tell Rudy, Christy with Bikes & Beauties sent you! If you have never been to Crossroads Bar & Grill in Deland, you are missing out! Owner Rudy and his unbelievable staff throw one hell of a party. We spent Wednesday night rocking the roof off the bar with HOG Radio, Chocolate wrestling and a little something for everyone! Next time you are in the area or headed out to Daytona Beach, Stop in! Located at I-4 & SR 44 at the DeLand exit right next to the Howard Johnson! Tell Rudy, Christy with Bikes & Beauties sent you!

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SCENE AROUND > GRIDIRON BAR & GRILL - MIAMI, FL

GRIDIRON BAR & GRILL

Being fairly new to the Kendall/Miami motorcycle scene I can honestly say that there are only a few places I have visited. So far my favorite Friday Night stop is the Gridiron Bar & Grill. Rain or Shine this sports bar with a rock-n-roll –motorcycle- drinking problem has a lot to offer. Fantastic drink specials, live music, killer food and great company will surely please. So the next time you decide to take a Friday night ride be sure to stop by this South Florida gem and tell them Bikes & Beauties sent you! Located at 8901 SW 157th Ave # 1 Miami, FL 33196-1157

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BIKES & BEAUTIES • APRIL 2011 39

SERVICE WITH STEVE-O

Please Read This!!!

Something has come to my attention recently and I felt it really important to share it with you. The latest fad or craze is installing exotic custom wheels, in itself a cool thing to do but, we are seeing an increase in handling problems due to a lack of information being provided to you, the end user. The results could be catastrophic for you as our shop has witnessed first hand just last week. A very good customer of the shop had done a big customization project on his bike. He then went to Daytona Bike Week with friends. They came across a wheel manufacturer who had a set of wheels that he liked very much, enough to plunk down the cash and have them installed right then and there, The wheels were different rim diameters than the OEM wheels so that meant new rubber as well. Project complete and on the road to come home. Somewhere on I95 as one of his friends passed him at highway speeds, the bike went in to a tank slapper wobble and our friend went down, hard, very hard. He remains in ICU and our prayers are with him………………… A few weeks before, another one of our customers had come in also with a heavy touring bike that had aftermarket custom wheels that he too had purchased and had installed in Daytona the year before, we regularly service this bike and he had come in for a new rear tire which we installed. The bike developed a wobble at highway speed and we thought we had a bad tire. Our customer was getting ready to take a trip north so we installed a spare OEM wheel/tire for him and the wobble was gone. Both of these gentlemen had heavy touring bikes, both had “out of configuration” rim diameters installed, 21” front wheels on the front of each bike. The second customer decided shortly after he installed the 21” wheel that he did not like the handling so he went back to a smaller rim diameter. So I called tire manufacturer and after we spent 30 minutes on the phone, here is what we learned. Tires have a “Load Index Rating” defined as “The load index on a passenger car tire is a numerical code stipulating the maximum load (mass, or weight) each tire can carry.” What we found was the tire he had installed carried a Load Index Rating of 78 or 937 pounds. The OEM tire for this bike carried a load index of 81 or 1,019 pounds, a difference of 82 lbs, and the aftermarket tire was a low profile tire with a different sidewall construction than OEM which also contributed to the wobble condition. The customer went on his trip and on the way home had a chance to purchase a set of lightly used Harley-Davidson custom wheels and tires with the correct “Load Index Rating” and the bike now handles correctly. 40 BIKES & BEAUTIES • APRIL 2011

OK, I know what you are thinking, I am giving you a sales pitch for HD wheels, no, not all. I am giving you a sales pitch to do your homework when you buy aftermarket wheels, or any component for that matter. There is no dispute that there are hundreds of aftermarket wheels and tires out there available, but do the research for your own safety. The load index is on the sidewall of every tire, look at the OEM tire and compare it to the one you are considering. And one more consideration, another fad seems to be larger diameter front wheels on touring bikes, which come with either a 16” or 17”. The Load Index for the 17” front on a new touring bike is 65 or 640 lbs. A 21” tire load index is 54 or 467 lbs., A DIFFERENCE OF 173 lbs, think about your 700-800 lb touring bike with a front tire rated at 173 lbs less than recommended by the manufacturer. Now, a larger size 21” will carry a higher load index but you have a long way to go to get to OEM specs!

That’s it this month, be informed, do the research, and most of all Keep the rubber side down! Steve - O

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MACK’S IN-SITE

PICTURE PERFECT

Fresh off Bike Week, J.Mack here to spill some more information to you about My League Of Extraordinary Artists… On the search for you, the tattoo intrigued person that you are. This time around I am once again just a little outside of Orlando Fl, in the town of Casselberry where you are just about forty-five minutes from everything exciting that Central Florida has to offer. Such as the beach, theme parks, and downtown watering holes and of course some excellent restaurants scattered through out. Here I got a chance to get in touch with Todd Grant owner and an artist at Granted Ink Tattoo. Todd has owned his shop for about four years this September. He runs his shop with four other ink pioneers and built Granted Ink from the ground up. Todd got into tattooing after the loss of a friend at an early age. They say only the good die young and I am sure Todd would retire his ink gun to have her back, but through this the art world or world in general was “Granted” a talented artist. He served his apprenticeship under Vinnie Berkhart of Primal Ink, also located in Casselberry. His apprenticeship lasted about six or seven months which is usually all it takes for a good artist to complete. While on Todd’s tattoo sabbatical he went on to work along side J.R. of Guayma Tattoo shop for close to a year. In the process collecting all the knowledge he needed to in becoming a self taught assassin with the ink gun. As all or most tattoo artists are Todd is fluent in oil, airbrush and acrylic art. Realism and more practical artwork is Todd’s forte which I found out in all of the two seconds it took me to walk in his shop and open is portfolio. There, at first glance, was a picture of Audrey Hepburn that looked like a still photograph from the motion picture Breakfast at Tiffany’s… To see the realism and practical influence on an artist to me seems like it would be on the hardest part of the spectrum. Simply put because there is an indefinite guide that the artist must follow. As we all know there is not an eraser on the end of a tattoo gun, just a business end and that is all.

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So one slide of hand or hiccup and your piece could be unrecognizable and not what was expected. There in lies the pressure and weight put on the artist’s shoulders and hand to make everything flow and make the lines and color a constant. Now obviously there are other ways that a tattoo could come out wrong. But to be able to show your image that is being projected on you skin along side the fact and perfect image it is suppose to be (and have it dead on) is the pay off for both artist and you the canvas provider. A lot of times the realism aspect comes into play with a memorial tattoo. When having a memorial, it is without a doubt that you would want to honor that image without flaw to respect whatever the image may be. That goes without saying. I personally think that if a tattoo artist can lay down a portrait identical to what you are looking for then everything else (such as a fictional piece of art) should come to them and your skin naturally. Probably a good trait to look for when searching for your tattoo artist… At least I know it can’t hurt. It’s good to familiarize with an artist before taking that leap and trusting someone to come up with exactly what you are looking for. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again I am not sure that I would have even gotten a tattoo had it not been for my brother becoming a tattoo artist. There is a lot of trust that is put into a tattoo and I think sometimes that is forgotten. Getting a tattoo is something that should be thought out and discussed between you and your artist. Therefore the idea and image can be expressed exactly how you want it… Just a few helpful hints when taking on a tattoo. -I think a tattoo is at best with a story behind it… Later - Mack

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BIMINI JIM

5 th Annual Boca Raton Concours d’ Elegance

This year’s was held at the beautifully manicured grounds of the world-renowned Boca Raton Resort and Club on the weekend of Feb. 25-27 2011. The three days of opulence raised over three million dollars for the Boys & Girls Club of Broward County. Over 7,000 guests stopped by to enjoy the picturesque beauty of vintage motorcycles, classic automobiles and antique aircraft. The event held its kick-off, the ‘’DuPont Registry Live” at the Boca Raton airport. Creating a perfect landscape for the vintage aircraft, exotic boats, classic metal and Indy 500 cars to share the runway! The venue was lined with fine vines and upscale cuisines from the most prestigious restaurants in South Florida. On Saturday night they held the Black Tie Gala Dinner & Auction with the Jay Leno Show. H. Wayne Huizenga was awarded the Automotive Lifetime Achievement Award. Jay’s show was the highlight of the night. He auctioned off over one hundred to Jay’s Big Dog Garage in Southern California, which also included four VIP tickets to The Tonight Show. Jay took the time to stop, take photos and sign autographs all weekend long. He was equipped with a smile and a quick

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one liner for every person. On Sunday parts of the golf greens became a backdrop for the finale. Around fifty vintage motorcycles were spaced in a circle on the putting green, a sweet sight indeed, with their chrome glistening in the afternoon sunlight. Mr. Leno greeted each bike owner, spoke with them and gave his insights and feedback on each scoot. In addition, to the fantastic vintage motorcycles were over one hundred of the most outstanding automobiles dating back to 1908 parked on the course. There were Duesenbergs, Packards, Lincolns and Model Ts. At the conclusion Jay Leno handed out Jay’s Big Dog Garage Trophy to John Littriell with his 1945 Harley El Knacklhead and to Fran Nolan for the 1957 Cadillac Eldorado Brougham. Best of show was presented to Samuel Feinberg’s 1953 Buick Skylark. Also in attendance was Jon Secada; who helped out judging the classic metal. To sign the official poster and programs were the infamous, Al Unser Sr., Al Unser Jr. and Bobby Unser. All in all it was one hell of a great weekend filed with celebrities, vintage goodness both Import and Domestic and all in the name of charity. Bottoms up from O’Balboni!!! www.jamesbalboni.com

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CAPTAIN MIKE

Nothing Good Happens After 2AM

Well as I’m sitting here trying to decide what to write about, my roommate and friends are talking about their night out. Saying how the bar let them stay in till 4am! Damn! Here in NSB, bars close at 2am. Sticky by the saying, “Nothing good happens after 2:00 am.” So let’s look at this. Does nothing really good happen after 2am? We all know that hangovers are always worse if you’re out after 2 and run ins with police are way worse. You always see more drunks starting fights after 2. We all know that our common sense and judgment gets more and more clouded the later it is! But, for me, I think some good does happen. Food is always better after 2am! Not just in taste, smell and even looks!! Greasy pizza that is so bad for you always taste a lot better and seems like a great healthy choice after 2, so is Waffle House!!! Let’s face it! We all love to eat after a great night out. Beer even tastes better and the music is always better after the 2 am hour. So, some good does come after 2am! I have a theory that there is a special time between 2am and say 7am where all people are way better looking! Maybe it’s just me but, I think a lot of you have hooked up after 2am with people you wouldn’t give the time of day to around 9pm but at 2:01 they are hot and way more charming then they were at 9pm! Jokes are always better and let’s face it after 2am people tend to look way skinnier! So in conclusion I believe we have determined that some things are good after 2am! It’s only a short window of about 5 hours that they are better and then tend to get way worse! Just remember, that if you stick to the food and the beer and stay away from the bed mates you feel better in the morning! Also if we are out past 2am who the hell cares! It’s been fun! Capt. Mike

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HA ha HA ha HA

The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona midterm and an actual answer turned in by a student. The answer by one student was so ‘profound’ that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, ‘It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,’ and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct... leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting ‘Oh my God.’

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+. BIKES & BEAUTIES • APRIL 2011 43

CRAZY-BIZARRE WACKY-WIERD

She’s in hot water over a Hot Pocket. NY POST

A teenager angry at being smacked by her Staten Island lover on Valentine’s Day for eating his last microwaveable munchie sought revenge by kidnapping the man’s 3-year-old daughter, law enforcement sources said. Aliyah Austin, 16, swiped the little girl from her Mariners Harbor home on Tuesday at about 7 p.m., four hours after the 29-year-old man had left for work, the sources said. The two then allegedly hopped on a Staten Island ferry bound for Manhattan. “I want my daddy. I want my daddy,” the little victim pleaded with Austin, sources said. The father returned home at about 12 a.m. to find his child missing, the sources added. He notified cops and a massive search using K-9 units was launched on the borough’s North Shore. “If you want your baby back, meet me at the rock,” Austin allegedly threatened the father through text messages. She also taunted him with Facebook messages, before de-friending him, sources said. Cops triangulated Austin’s cellphone signal and tracked her to a friend’s pad in Bedford Stuyvesant, the sources added. She was arrested and the child was found unharmed. Austin is charged with kidnapping and acting in a manner injurious to a child, said a spokesman for DA Dan Donovan.

London Company Sells Breast-Milk Ice Cream. LONDON (AP)

Gross or tasty? A London company is offering an unusual dessert — ice cream made with human breast milk. A notice informs customers that ‘Baby Gaga” ice cream is sold out on Friday at the Icecreamists parlor in Central London. A notice informs customers that ‘Baby Gaga” ice cream is sold out on Friday at the Icecreamists parlor in central London. The Icecreamists, a trendy ice cream parlor, says its “Baby Gaga” ice cream sold out as soon as it launched Friday. The company paid women who donated their breast milk after a health screening. The milk is then pasteurized and churned together with vanilla pods and lemon zest. The dish, which comes in a martini glass, sells for 14 pounds ($22.50) each. Matt O’Connor, who owns the company, says the product is “organic, free-range and totally natural.” The Food Standards Agency says there are no specific laws prohibiting businesses from selling human milk products, although they must comply with general food safety laws to ensure the product is safe for consumption. 44 BIKES & BEAUTIES • APRIL 2011

YOU OUGHT TO KNOW... 1. Until 1796, there was a state in the United States called Franklin. Today it is known as Tennessee. 2. Until 1965, driving was done on the lefthand side on roads in Sweden. The conversion to right-hand was done on a weekday at 5pm. All traffic stopped as people switched sides. This time and day were chosen to prevent accidents where drivers would have gotten up in the morning and been too sleepy to realize that this was the day of the changeover. 3. When opossums are playing ‘possum, they are not “playing.” They actually pass out from sheer terror. 4. When snakes are born with two heads, they fight each other for food. 5. When the University of Nebraska Cornhuskers play football at home, the stadium becomes the state’s third largest city. 6. White Out was invented by the mother of Mike Nesmith (formerly of the Monkees). 7. Who’s that playing the piano on the “Mad About You” theme? Paul Reiser himself. 8. Wilma Flintstone’s maiden name was Wilma Slaghoopal, and Betty Rubble’s Maiden name was Betty Jean Mcbricker. 9. Windmills always turn counter-clockwise. Except for the windmills in Ireland. 10. Winston Churchill was born in a ladies’ room during a dance. 11. Women’s hearts beat faster than men’s. 12. You blink over 20,000,000 times a year. 13. You can only smell 1/20th as well as a dog. 14. You’ll eat about 35,000 cookies in a lifetime. 15. You’re born with 300 bones, but when you get to be an adult, you only have 206. 16. You’re more likely to get stung by a bee on a windy day than in any other weather. 17. Your heart beats over 100,000 times a day. 18. Your ribs move about 5 million times a year, everytime you breathe. 19. Your right lung takes in more air than your left one does. 20. Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks otherwise it will digest itself.

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HO T M A OF TH N E M ONTH

© 2011 NINA SUTHERLAND PHOTOGRAPHY WWW.BOMBSHELLBOY.COM www.bikesbeauties.com

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SPEAKING SPORTS

No Easy QB Fixes For Both Fins, Canes.

Many similarities of once great successions at quarterback once paralleled both the Canes and Dolphins for two decades. But now, both football teams find themselves in a desperate imperative to be better at this most important position, one that has fallen to disrepair after once being each franchise’s pride. The Dolphins pedigreed lineage of Bob Griese and Dan Marino has deteriorated to a largely uninterrupted run-ofmutts since Marino retired after the 1999 season. The Hurricanes one-time claim to being “Quarterback U” has sounded more like mocking sarcasm since Ken Dorsey graduated after the 2002 season. Each teams starving fans, dreaming so long of the next great quarterback, have neared a point where they likely would be ok with the next pretty good one, modestly redefined as touchdown passes winning the numerical battle with interceptions. Poor quarterback play last year helped get coach Randy Shannon ousted by UM, and would have cost Tony Sparano his job too, if the Dolphins hadn’t struck out in their obvious and mishandled desire to replace him. Now the lucky-to-be-here Sparano, entering free agency and preparing for the NFL draft, and new Canes coach Al Golden, nearing his first Spring practice, deal with plain uncertainty at the one position they most need to be solidly worry-free. Dolphins status first...Sparano and GM Jeff Ireland (The Embattled Brain trust) have not publicly given up on shaky incumbent Chad Henne, although confidence in him seems to be running on fumes. He was benched once last season, a year of regression and the Dolphins want to clearly bring in someone (beyond their back-up Tyler Thigpen) to compete for Henne’s job. Who they get, what avenue they choose to get him and how big they hit with their choice will define Sparano/Ireland. This is their one final chance at redemption. If they slip up and fail, then after one more season of embarrassment for this franchise, it will probably end both Sparano-Ireland’s fate for good. I don’t know that this coach/GM inspire much confidence in terms of solving the quarterback quandary, maybe less so now that wise old head Bill Parcells is divorced from the franchise. Neither do the dubious choices of hiring Brian Daboll as offensive coordinator and switching Karl Dorell to quarterbacks coach inspire likelihood that fresh coaching somehow will be the magic wand Henne could use. The big question facing Miami is whether to spend the first round draft pick (15th overall) on a quarterback, or to instead bring in veteran competition, via free agency or a trade, or do both. The Dolphins have spent a first road pick on a quarterback only three times in 45 years: 1966 (Rick Norton), 1967 (Griese) and 1983 (Marino). It seems like 2011 might be the time to try again. So, do you gamble on Auburns Can Newton, Fins would need to trade up to get him - or do u sign a soon to be free agent, like Vince Young or hope that Bengals QB becomes available? For this regime - it’s either “hit it big” - or

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your probably gone scenario, - Do you trade down for a QB, such as Washington’s Jake Locker or Nevada QB - Colin Kaepernick instead? Or do you look elsewhere for first round needs like running back, where Alabama’s Mark Ingram sits at 15, and go the veteran route for a new quarterback? If that is the case, options would be wildly varied. Miami could try to spend enough to trade for a proven but aging veteran such as the Bengals Carson Palmer, or a younger guy bigger on potential than proof such as the Eagles Kevin Kolb, or the Packers Matt Flynn. Denver’s Kyle Orton could be available but the price would be steep. Free agent options are sketchier but cheaper. Guys like Matt Hasselbeck, Matt Moore, Alex Smith, Kyle Bolker, and Kerry Collins in my opinion, are not suitable. The Dolphins have to hope that Henne gets better, and bring in 2 other quarterbacks - one you must draft pretty high, and then you have to bring in another veteran quarterback. I would explore trades specifically for both Orton and Kolb. The question is - What will Ireland/Sparano do? The only answer I know - is that they better be right? Now to the Canes...Al Golden wonders if senior-to-be Jacory Harris is the answer? Harris has 42 interceptions in 25 college starts, capped by his recent sun bowl nightmare. Sophomore-tobe Stephen Morris showed flashes after Harris was benched last season but remains a largely unproven work in progress, neither has earned the right to enter 2011 with the stature of solid incumbent, and the only other QB, capable of playing, (Tate Forcier) has to sit out this upcoming season. That’s why Golden’s priority after being hired was to recruit a prized arm. He tried to pry St. Thomas Aquinas Jake Rudock from his Iowa commitment but couldn’t. Wanted Kevin Souza from Orlando but failed again. Lobbied far beyond National Signing Day for Palm Beach’s Jacoby Brisett, but lost him to the Gators. So Golden’s first recruiting class was Bereft of even a single quarterback...Quickly the Canes signed Tate Forcier, a transfer from Michigan but again, he’s not available to play until 2012, and even then offers no guarantee. After a promising freshman year with the Wolverines, he lost his job (starting QB) to Dennis Robinson. A year from now the Canes could be in better shape, with a more experienced Morris competing with Forcier and one or two incoming recruits...But This upcoming season? Golden must hope his new staff can magically wring the interceptions out of Harris, or preferably, that the best of what Morris showed us last fall was no mirage and that he’s ready to lead the U-turn back to greatness. There is no quarterback certainty with either team, only a feeling that there isn’t so much optimism, but rather a sort of Fan’s hope. Two local football teams...hoping they can find their leaders...Fins and Canes. Marky Marc

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BIKES & BEAUTIES MAGAZINE APRIL 2011