Mind Body +
Spring 2014
SEX. LOVE. Discover the
biological basis for why we crave love Swim. Bike. Run.
12 weeks to a triathlon Seasonal Sensations
Get out your gardening gloves and start planting
On the cover
SHAUNA SLEDGE With 2 businesses, 3 kids, multiple jobs and more, this month’s cover model is taking care of business
8
Splendid Spring Outings Take a day and enjoy exploring these great locations right in your own backyard
20
46
Features
46
Shauna Sledge
With two businesses, three kids, multiple jobs and hobbies that include competing in endurance races, this month’s cover model is taking care of business.
51
Stop being
Sorry
Mind+Body examines the word and the reasons behind it and asks the question “Do women apologize too much?”
54 Baby Race
The changing face of the
One child or two. Should I wait until I’m settled or start my family today. Do I even really want kids? Explore the different faces behind the great child debate.
10 Departments Get Style Fun finds 8 Feel sexy in the perfect lingerie 10 Shopping in your own closet 12
Get Beautiful Crowning glory 14
Get Fit Workout 16 Training for a triathlon 18 Doggy bootcamp 20
Get Healthy On the rocks 24 Create a successful cheese plate 25 Seasonal sensations 29
Get Centered Sex. Love. 30
on the cover Shauna Sledge photographed by Caleb Young, Harper Point Photography. Hair and Makeup by Ali Crowley, The Cutlery Salon.
Left: Shauna Sledge is pictured with stylist and make-up artist Ali Crowley.
Sam&Lavi Nimi top ($118), Free People bandeau ($28), AG Tomboy jeans ($168), Sibilia Ola De Mar cuff ($138), Diane Werner Faith, Hope & Love necklace ($128) and Streets Ahead mixed metal belt ($178) courtesy of MKLaren.
Clear the clutter 32
Get Home Bring home a little radiance 36
Get Out 8 splendid spring outings 38
Milton Counter Stool ($229) courtesy of Forma Furniture. Mind+Body/Spring 2014 3
President/Publisher
Kathy Jack-Romero kathyjackromero@coloradoan.com 970.224.7885
Mind+Body Editor
Alicia Preston aliciapreston@coloradoan.com 970.224.7802
Creative Director
Erika Moore erikamoore@coloradoan.com 970.416.3941
Online Editor
Advertising Director
Sales Lead
Kristin Deily kristindeily@coloradoan.com 970-224-7819 Joann Kurtyak jkurtyak@coloradoan.com 970.416.3989 Ryan Young ryanyoung@coloradoan.com 970-416-3918
Marketing Manager Sarah Armstrong saraharmstrong@coloradoan.com 970-416-3991 Ad Services Manager Bonnie Huey bonniehuey@coloradoan.com 970.416.3923 Production Artist
Distribution Manager
Matt Varns mattvarns@coloradoan.com 970.224.3914 Tim Walters tiwalters@usatoday.com 970.224.7875
Contributing Writers
Kristin Deily, Andrew Kensley, Rachel Metzgar, Mike Rickett, Eric Neilsen, Ali Crowley, Christa Novelli, Angela Geis, Kate Wrightson, Kimberly Cauti
Contributing Editors
Jayme DeLoss, Victoria Murray, Joe Mathis-Lilley
M E DI A
G RO UP
Connecting customers. Delivering results.
1300 Riverside Ave., Fort Collins, CO 80524 Call (970) 416-3991 | Fax (970) 224-7726 Š2014 Coloradoan Media Group. All rights reserved. PLEASE NOTE that the articles contained in this publication are meant to increase reader awareness of developments in the health field. Its contents should not be construed as medical advice or health instruction on individual health matters, which should be obtained directly from a health professonal.
4 Mind+Body/Spring 2014
Mind+Body/Spring 2014 5
Contributors
Caleb Young Ali Crowley Owner/Stylist at The Cutlery Salon Ali was born and raised in Fort Collins. She lived in New York City for a year working for MTV as a hairstylist before moving back to Fort Collins to open her own salon. Find her online at cutlerysalon.com
Photographer Caleb is a Fort Collins native, photographer and Idea Machine at Harper Point Photography. He enjoys bikes, the outdoors, film, road trips and breakfast. You can follow his work at harperpoint.com
Angela Geis Writer; Fitness Trainer & Nutritional Counselor
Kate Wrightson Writer; Yoga & Fitness Instructor Kate can be found mainly in Fort Collins enjoying a daily meditation and yoga practice, running a private fitness and holistic health practice and marveling at the simple complexity of life and energy. Find her online at livebeyondlimit.com 6 Mind+Body/Spring 2014
Angela is a fitness trainer and nutritional counselor in Fort Collins. She graduated with a bachelor’s degree in health & exercise science in 2011 and holds three nationally recognized certifications. She has worked as a clinical exercise specialist and medical assistant as well as a commercial fitness trainer and group exercise instructor. You can find her online at ExRx4health.com
From the editor
Radiate Sexy As we jump into spring, a season of fertility, birth and growth, I challenge you to discover your own beauty and sexiness. We tend to think of these words as physical traits that people possess when they are “thin enough” or sport a great hair style and cunning fashion sense. I disagree. I believe beauty and sexiness start from within; when one feels confident and attractive on the inside, only then will sexiness radiate outwards. Mind+Body hopes to help you see yourself as a wholesome, sexy package. A guide to buying lingerie, the importance of realizing the benefits of sex and love, both mentally and physically, and activities to enjoy an unforgettable day with your special someone—all right here in Northern Colorado! Nobody harnesses the concept of complete beauty better than our lovely cover model, Shauna Sledge. She is confident and humble, strong-willed and gentle, hard-working and passionate, all while taking on Northern
Colorado (and beyond) with full force, gaining success every step of the way while remaining a loving mother and wife. Since I started the Mind+Body experience with you in January, it’s been my goal to continue gaining the momentum and growth of the magazine, bringing you new and exciting features at every turn. I’ve been fortunate to have such amazing team members who have been, and continue to be, essential in helping me achieve this goal, and who are an absolute delight to work with. I’m pleased to introduce Kristin Deily, our newest addition to the Mind+Body team! She dove right in from day one, working hard and contributes so many wonderful ideas and content every day; her passion and creativity are truly inspiring. Keep an eye out for several new writers, sharing both print and online content, who have joined our already brilliant group of familiar faces (and writing voices) that you all know and love.
As you prepare for your spring cleaning this year, don’t forget to include yourself, body and mind, on the to-do list with the window-washing, closet-organizing, and vacuuming—harness all of the beauty and sexiness in yourself and your life around you. Enjoy 2014’s spring issue of Mind+Body, and stay connected with us (via our website and Facebook page) for more big plans we have coming your way! As always, please don’t hesitate to share your thoughts, ideas and feedback with us—we can’t do it without you! facebook.com/mindbodymag coloradoan.com/mindbody
Alicia Preston, Mind+Body Editor
5 things we love: On our shelves Temperance Brennan Series by Kathy Reichs Why we love it: Every book Mystery in this series has me completely hooked from the first sentence. Full of adventure, excitement, thrills and a strong woman lead—what’s not to love? And, thanks to Reichs and this brilliantly written series, Bones (also my favorite TV show) was inspired; clearly, I can’t get enough! Alicia Preston, Mind+Body Editor
Firefly Lane by Kristin Hannah Why we love it: The story speaks to any Fiction woman who grew up in the 70’s with a best friend that she loved, hated, laughed and cried with. Our paths may differ, but our deep personal friendships can and do transcend the rollercoasters in our lives. Kathy Jack-Romero, Publisher
Beautiful Joe by (Margaret) Marshall Saunders Why we love it: This book Autobiography inspired my life-long passions—reading and animal advocacy—at the age of 9. Beautiful Joe is a poignant story of a “cur” mistreated at the hands of an abusive owner, who finds redemption through love— which is all that matters in the end.
The Badge of Honor series by W.E.B. Griffin Why we love it: Like all Griffin novels, this is Fiction easy reading fiction and full of action. The series follows the career of a police officer in Philadelphia in the 1970’s and 80’s. I find that if I read one of these books, I have to read the whole series again.
Mountains Beyond Mountains by Tracy Kidder Why we love it: I love it because it’s a true story about a very talented doctor. It shows that a few simple preventative things in society’s health can prevent so much waste of time, money, and lives. Autobiography
Shauna Sledge, Cover Model
Timothy Walters, Distribution Manager
Victoria Murray Contributing Editor
Mind+Body/Spring 2014 7
get style fun finds
fun
finds
Step into Spring with vibrant, funky styles by Dansko, $130/pair. Hearne’s Fine Goods, Downtown Fort Collins, 970-224-4653, hearnesfinegoods.com
Hand-crocheted Balibana headband, $18, great for spring or any season. Custom colors available; Floral Heart Tank, vintage floral look for romantic spring excursions, soft eco-heather fabric, $26; Mainstay Poncho Hoodie, $32, perfect for pulling over any tank or swimsuit! Akinz, Downtown Fort Collins, 970-682-1750, Akinz.com
Sip your favorite tea in style! Ceramic Tea Service Set includes 16 oz. tea pot with 6 cups and tray, black with gold patterns, $129.95. Happy Lucky Tea House, Downtown Fort Collins, 970-689-3417, HappyLuckys.com
Evergreen Garden Indoor/Outdoor Pillows in a variety of fun colors and patterns, $24.99. Bath Garden Center, 2000 E. Prospect Road, Fort Collins CO, 970-484-5022, bathgardencenter.com 8 Mind+Body/Winter 2014
Fresh from Thymes - The Fragrance Studio, a collection rooted in botanical perfumery, lush bath oils, $35; rollerball & spray colognes, from $22.50; dished-up soaps, $16.50. Follow your nose to EsScentuals, Downtown Fort Collins, 970-484-7862
Enjoy comfort & style with Minnetonka sandals! Silverthorne leather sandal, $49.95; Monaco suede sandal, $62.95; Tampa leather sandal, $54.95. All available in a variety of colors to complement your style this Spring! Santa Fe Craftsman, Downtown Fort Collins, 970-224-1415, santafecraftsman.com
Wallaroo Sydney Purple Hat, $39.99, San Diego Hat Company Multi-colored Hat, $39.99, 2 Chic Scarves, $14.99 $19.99. Bath Garden Center, 2000 E. Prospect Road, Fort Collins, 970-484-5022, bathgardencenter.com
4 1 0 2 , 9 1 IL R P A , Y A SATURD M 10:00 AM TO 3:00 P rse u o C lf o G le a d in ll o C 7 SUNDAY, APRIL 2 PM 10:00 AM TO 4:00 PARK Y T I N U M M O C N O SPRING CANY
014 2 , 5 1 E N U J , Y A D N U S RT A T S N U G T O H S M A 8:00 sit at active.com or vi
Register online Runners Roost or g in n n u R e d u it Alt .com/fathersday ov g fc t si vi n io at For more inform
th of July
s we a n u f y il m a f e m Join us for so ue! n e v A in a t n u o M parade down
Together, we get results
Visit fcgov.com for more information on these events!
get style section
Feel sexy in the perfect lingerie By Rachel Metzgar
L ike many women, my relationship with lingerie is … complicated. We love to feel sexy and most of us have an idea in our head of what sexy looks like, but getting the right look on ourselves can be a challenge.
An outside perspective We asked a few Colorado guys and gals what they like to see on their ladies. Here are a few of the front-runners: High heels. “It’s so sexy when my wife leaves her heels on while she’s getting undressed. High heels with a sexy bra and underwear are a great combo.” – Patrick, Fort Collins Anything black. “Black makes anyone look hot. A black corset tells me she’s definitely trying to turn me on.” – Laurie, Fort Collins Less is more. Several of the guys I polled like it when their ladies don’t “try too hard.” A common theme was a preference for less makeup and more casual clothes – including undies. Lacy intimates won out over satin or silk. “Panties are optional.” Once in a while, men like the surprise of finding out their partner is sans underwear.
10 Mind+Body/Spring 2014
However, we all know how worth it the challenge is when we slip into that perfectly silky, curve-hugging piece of lingerie that brings out our inner sexy. Lingerie can be just for you, or it can be specially chosen and worn for your partner. Either way, the trick is to choose pieces that fit well, are comfortable and make you confident. Here are some tips for finding what works for you.
Where to go The first rule when finding lingerie is to get help. Women’s bodies are beautiful, and they come in all shapes and sizes, which presents a challenge when things need to fit just right. Leave this part to the professionals – and no, I am not just talking about going for a bra fitting. Satin Camisole: Located in downtown Fort Collins, the Satin Camisole is the perfect place to find something special. These ladies are experts at finding the right fit and look for every occasion. Whether you need shapewear to go under a new dress, or lacy, silky, satiny perfection, you’ll find it here. The
quality of items in the store sets it apart – you can feel that each piece is made with quality fabric and craftsmanship. You’ll never leave disappointed. Doctor John’s: Doctor John’s has a fun selection of lingerie in a reasonable price range. I especially love their selection of tights. They have all kinds of fish nets, lace and colorful choices. L’eggs Hanes Bali Playtex Outlet: This store is a hidden treasure at the Outlets at Loveland. If you have a hard time finding your correct bra size, look no further. You’ll love the laid-back environment and affordable prices. Freshpair: Too nervous to involve total strangers in choosing your skivvies? There are lots of great online shopping options, too. Freshpair.com offers a wide range of choices, from comfy pj’s to garters and lacy intimates. Even better, the site is like having your own personal salesperson. They provide bra-fitting advice, tips for fitting your body type, and troubleshooting for common lingerie frustrations. I love to read their blog posts for inspiration before I start shopping.
What to buy You may only give thought to your underthings on special occasions, but that needs to change. When you are choosing an outfit for work in the morning or a night out, your lingerie or undergarments are just as important as every other part of your ensemble.
For a special night out Exciting lingerie is certainly not reserved for your wedding, honeymoon or rare occasions. Sexy lingerie adds a spark to any date night. Here’s how to pull it off. Take your time. Dress deliberately and take time to pamper yourself as you are dressing up. Put on some music and get ready slowly, so you can pause and appreciate how you look and feel during each phase of getting dressed. How sexy you feel now will set the tone for the entire evening. Think about your outfit. Consider how your lingerie and your outfit will look together. Dresses tend to work well over almost anything. Skirts can work as well, but if your lingerie is super silky or slick, the waistband of a skirt may not stay
get style
How to fit your body Fit is everything when it comes to underthings. Here are a few tips for fitting your body type. Pear-shaped? Accentuate your curves with a structured corset. A lace-up corset will fit the best. The laces give you the ability to tighten the corset more at your natural wasteline and less at the top and bottom if needed, so it will fit like a glove – a comfortable glove! Straight-figured? Add some shape with a baby-doll look. Make sure the bra in the top fits just right, with the material gathered right under the bust and then falling loose. Pair this with a thong. Busty? Choose separates so that the right fit up top doesn’t leave your lingerie hanging loose around your midsection. All legs? Call attention to those sexy stems with some thigh-highs and a garter belt.
put. Before you leave the house, give your outfit a test run. Walk around, stand and sit a few times to make sure everything works. Feel good to look good. When shopping for “fun” lingerie, don’t be afraid to experiment and take chances, but keep in mind what you and your partner like. What colors does your partner like on you? What makes you feel sexy – lace, silk or sheer pieces? Try out something new the next time you go shopping. Mix and match separates you love. Or work in something strappy and complicated to take off – the challenge of undressing will build the suspense. Most importantly, never buy something you don’t feel amazing in.
Relaxing night in? Casual can definitely be sexy. Try out these comfy looks for a night in that just may turn steamy. Guys love a girl with her hair just a little messy, wearing a tight-fitting pair of yoga pants and a soft, slinky tank top. As for movie-night undies, less just might be more. That slinky tank top hangs just right without a bra at all! Try the classics. Pair one of your man’s button-down shirts with a sexy pair of boy-short undies. Or pull on your partner’s favorite T-shirt. No matter what the objective is for the evening, setting the mood for a night in is easy. Know your partner loves red lipstick? Take a
Listen up, ladies No matter what your body type, the right fit is essential when bra shopping. • Get measured at more than one store. • Re-measure every time you go in, especially if your body has changed; i.e., after having a baby, changing weight, etc. • Use your measurement as a guide. You may not wear the same size in every brand or style, so use your measurement as a starting point and try on several sizes, styles and brands. • Try on clothes over the bra before you buy it. Just because it looks good on doesn’t mean it will go well under your clothes. • Leave some room for stretching. Your bra will stretch out so buy a band that fits when you fasten the loosest hook so you’ll have room to tighten it if it stretches over time.
few minutes to treat your lips to that crimson shade before you start putting dinner together. Want to cuddle with a movie? Slip into a comfy nightgown, open a bottle of wine and pop some popcorn. Wear something extra soft so your honey can’t help but cozy up. What you wear is just as important when you’re hanging around the house as when you get dressed up for a fancy dinner. Like I said, dress for how you want to feel. And be sure your giant comfy sweatpants and oversized sweatshirt don’t become a nightly routine.
Lay the right foundation One quick word on shapewear – get some! Our bodies each have a unique shape and properly structured shapewear can help you accentuate that shape in all the right places. Your clothes will fall more smoothly and you’ll walk with confidence when you slip that little black dress over your favorite new bodyshaper.
Get your sexy on If you haven’t given thought to your lingerie in a while, it may be time to give your sad little underwear drawer some excitement. Take a girlfriend with you on an expedition to find yourself something soft and lovely. Remember, lingerie is about you, so wear what makes you feel beautiful, sexy and confident. Mind+Body/Spring 2014 11
get style
Shopping in your own closet F By Kimberly Cauti
orty days and forty nights. That is how long I have gone without my number one vice. If you are at all familiar with me, or my blog Anatomy of A Closet, you know that I am a self-proclaimed shopaholic who chose to spend the duration of Lent abstaining from shopping. What doesn’t help matters; my job as a stylist and visual merchandiser keeps me constantly surrounded by beautiful garments I covet.
For more tips on going on your own closet shopping adventure, follow Kimberly’s journey at her blog, Anatomy of a Closet. She has blogged her weekly struggles and victories as she gave up her favorite vice, shopping. Additionally, look for her style gallery on Mind+Body Online (coloradoan.com/ mindbody), documenting all of her looks over the course of the experiment!
12 Mind+Body/Spring 2014
Taking a break from shopping was an important, life changing challenge for me. I felt it necessary to get a better handle on my finances, first and foremost, but also found it equally important to recognize that I could still feel fabulous in what I’ve got right in my own closet. I reminded myself that fashion can be bought, but style comes from within. I challenged myself to literally reach within the walls of my carefully curated closet and pull out forty days worth of satisfaction. As a stylist I have helped so many women breathe new life into their existing wardrobe without spending a penny on new clothing by conducting closet audits, or closet shopping. Up until this point I had never seized the opportunity to do so for myself and began to wonder why. I knew it was time to be the change I wanted to see in my world. The first week of my Shopping Sabbatical was quite messy... literally. I found myself standing in my closet staring at the endless piles of perfectly folded denim, boxes of shoes, and colororganized blouses with blind eyes. It had been months since I’d taken proper inventory of my wardrobe and I was a little unsure where to begin. I really had no clue as to what was being contained behind these four walls. It was not unusual for me to throw on the same pair of black skinny jeans, denim shirt, and motorcycle boots for a typical day at work knowing that if I felt bored of my ensemble I would just pick up something new. For 40 days this was not an option. I’d have to force myself to create
new looks. On the first morning of this challenge I spent fifteen minutes trying on different outfits, all to my personal dissatisfaction, and found myself tossing the rejected looks onto the floor like rags. This continued over the course of the next six mornings. I began to fear that seven days of this was about all I could stand.
On the first morning of this challenge I spent fifteen minutes trying on different outfits, all to my personal dissatisfaction, and found myself tossing the rejected looks onto the floor like rags. After the second week of closet shopping I realized that I needed to dedicate an entire day to curating my wardrobe. I call my closet room my “Woman Cave.” It’s my sanctuary, and it was time to take inventory. I spent a rainy Thursday afternoon alone in that room with my clothes and a mission. I riffled through my old favorites, my special-occasion-wear, and the pieces I thought I would literally die without.
I created an iPhoto catalog of looks I had never before thought to wear. Almost instantly, new life was breathed into my stale wardrobe. When date night with my boyfriend arrived that Friday, I knew exactly what I would wear. I felt instant confidence and sexiness from the new combo and he thought I looked stunning. Suddenly it clicked with me after all this time. Sexiness comes from within, style comes from within. I felt amazing and I didn’t even need to purchase something new to get that feeling! Clearly I was on to something. After three weeks had passed, I did not miss shopping so much. Diving into my closet with a solid mission in place allowed me to discover treasures I never realized I had. It became easier for me to drum up new looks. I even inspired a few closet audits amongst my friends. I realize that many of you are thinking at this point, “Well, you’re a stylist so you must have a huge amazing wardrobe. How am I supposed to relate to your challenge?” I don’t expect your closet to be a clone of mine, but I do expect you’ve felt the same stagnancy in your wardrobe as I’ve felt in mine. Whether you’ve got a wardrobe that rivals the contemporary department in Bloomingdales or you own a sensible amount of basics, you too can benefit from this challenge. Taking the step back to evaluate motives and possessions is truly a cathartic experience. In the end, I had so much fun playing dress up in my own closet; the desperate need to shop just fizzled away.
get beautiful section
CROWNING GLORY By Ali Crowley
A lovely, slightly messy look to get your hair up off your neck, without having to resort to a boring old pony tail. The essence of Colorado style, this do creates an effortless look, keeping your hair pulled away from your face for any occasion. From an active day outdoors to a night on the town, try these easy steps to change up your hair routine. Step 1: Make a deep side part. Note that a middle part will not work for this look.
Step 2:
14 Mind+Body/Spring 2014
the braid until you get to the opposite ear. Secure with a small band.
Step 5:
Spray texture spray or volumizing powder on hair for added grip and piece-y textured look.
Again gather hair into a French braid starting from the part, down the opposite side of the head. Continue until you meet the first braid.
Step 3:
Step 6:
Be sure to leave a few strands out of the braid around the face.
Twist and tuck excess hair into the back of the braid.
Step 4:
Step 7:
Start a French braid at the part, and follow down the crown of your head. Leave the braid loose for a more romantic and touseled look. Continue
Pull pieces out to create a messy look and tug on the braid to loosen it and make it appear thicker and less of a polished look.
NEW 2014 TOYOTA
CAMRY LE, 4-Cyl, Automatic, Power Windows & Locks, STAR Safety System #433740
970.223.3100 www.PedersenToyota.Com
45455. S. College Fort Collins, CO
Mind+Body/Spring 2014 15
SPRING SH Special Promotion
get fit workout
Circuit train into Instructions
Circuit training is a form of body conditioning and resistance training using high intensity movements. It involves strength training and muscular endurance and is a way to make our workouts timeefficient while keeping our heart rate up. Start your workout with three minutes of sustained cardiovascular work on a treadmill, bike, elliptical, rower or with a brisk walk. The Plan: Beginner: 1-2 rotations, 8-10 reps each, 2 minutes rest in between. Intermediate: 2-5 rotations, 12-15 reps, 1-1:30 minute rest. Advanced: 5+ rotations, 20 reps, 30 second-1 minute rest.
2
3
4
5
Step Back Lunges
Take a controlled step backwards and drop your hips to the ground by bending your front knee without letting your back knee touch the ground. Return to the starting position by pushing up with front legs for the prescribed number of reps. You should feel this in your glutes, quads, and hamstrings.
Cable Rows
Take a step backwards with straight arms and drop your hips into a seated position. With weight on your heels, slowly pull the handles to the side of your body and squeeze your shoulder blades together. Slowly return arms back straight for prescribed number of reps. You should feel this in your hips, upper back, and biceps.
1
Fitball Leg Curls
Center your feet on the ball and bridge your hips, keeping a straight line from ankles to shoulders. Keeping your hips tall, pull the ball toward your body. Slowly return to the starting position for the prescribed number of reps. You should feel this in your glutes, hamstrings, and lower back.
Workout provided by Fort Collins Club. Model: Teresa Girardi. Creator: Izek Vigil. For more information, call the Fort Collins Club (970) 224-CLUB. As always, use common sense and consult with your physician before starting any workout routine.
16 Mind+Body/Spring 2014
Fitball Chest Press
Lie face up on fitball, holding dumbbells over your shoulders. Lift both dumbbells over your chest. Lower dumbbells until your elbows are parallel with the ground, then push back up for the prescribed reps. You should feel this in your chest, shoulders, and triceps.
Curl to Overhead Press
With dumbbells at your side, take a stride onto a bench, or step and stop when your leg is at 90 degrees. Curl the weight up and press it overhead with your palms facing your body. Do prescribed number of reps and switch to the other leg. You should feel this in your shoulders, biceps, and upper back
SHAPE
Special Promotion
workout get fit
6
Triceps Extensions
Lie on your back with your arms fully extended. Slowly bend your elbows to a 90-degree angle and press your hands and dumbbells back up straight. You should feel this in your shoulders and triceps.
7
Medicine Ball Twists
In a seated position, raise your feet off the ground and rotate the medicine ball from side to side. Make sure you keep your back straight and abs tight for prescribed number of reps. You should feel this in your abs, shoulders, and lower back. Mind+Body/Spring 2014 17
get fit section
Training for a Triathlon S
o you want to do a Triathlon, but you’re not sure how to go about training for it.
Triathlon is comprised of three sports, swimming, biking and running and the events are typically completed in that order. A very common race distance that athletes will start with is called a sprint triathlon. For the sprint, the swim portion will usually be between 500-750 yards, the bike about 12 miles, and the run 3.1miles.
By Eric Neilson
The Swim – 10-20% of your race depending on ability. Of the three sports, the swim can be the most intimidating for people, especially when you are learning as an adult. One of the best things you can do, in addition to just getting to the pool and practicing, is to hire a coach to help you with your swimming stroke. A good set of eyes should quickly be able to determine where improvements can be made in technique to help you swim faster and hopefully, with less effort.
Here is 12-week Beginner Plan for a Sprint Triathlon. For the first 3 weeks all activity is at an easy level to allow new athletes to adjust to training for three sports. The remaining 9 weeks will blend the sports together with varying intensities and duration. Modify times of workouts depending on your current level of fitness.
Definition of Terms:
The Bike – 40-50% of your race depending on ability. The bike typically is the largest portion of the race in terms of distance and time. For many first time triathletes, I would encourage you to just ride whatever type of bike is available to you. No need to go out and spend hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars on a bike before you know that you are going to be doing this sport for a while. A basic mountain or road bike should do the job. Clip pedals allow you to clip your
Week
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
1
Swim: 20-30 min easy
Bike: 30-40 min easy
Run: 20-30 min easy & XT
2
Off
Swim: 20-30 min easy & XT
Bike: 30-40 min easy
3
Run: 20-30 easy
Off
Swim: 20-30 min easy
Brick Bike: 35-40 min easy Run: 15-20 min easy Brick Bike 35-40 min easy Run 15-20 min moderate
4
Swim: 20-30 min easy
5
XT
Brick: This is when you do workouts back to back. Helps with transitioning from one sport to another.
6
Off
Swim: 25-30 min easy & XT
Easy: Easy paced effort that you could carry on a conversation.
7
Swim: 40-45 min mod.
XT + Run 30 min easy
Moderate (mod.): Pace quickens a bit as does breathing. So you are moving a bit faster, and could go faster if needed.
8
Off
Swim 30-35 min prog. Run 20 min easy
Bike: 45-50 min easy
9
Off
Swim 30-35 min mod.
Run: 30-35 min easy
10
XT
Brick Bike 40-45 min easy Run 15-20 min prog. to mod.
Swim: 35-40 min easy
11
Off
Swim: 30-35 min easy
Brick Bike 50-55 min prog. to RP Run 25-30 min prog. to RP
12
Off
Bike: 40-45 min prog.
Run 30-35 minutes mod w/strides
Off: Day off from training. Easy 20-30 minute walk if you like XT: Yoga, pilates, core/strength training, etc.
Progression (prog.): The pace/effort of the workout increases after warm up and finishes at whatever pace you are able to achieve for that particular day before cooling down. Strides: This is fast but relaxed swimming, biking or running for 20-30 seconds to help work on arm/leg turnover and neuromuscular efficiency. Race pace: After a good warm up, you’re trying to move at your goal race pace. 18 Mind+Body/Spring 2014
XT Off Bike: 40-45 Min prog. to mod. Bike: 45-50 min mod.
get fit
Upcoming Triathlons There are several local events coming up in May and June that that would be good for first timers: Fort Collins Club Triathlon on Sunday, May 11. Visit fortcollinsclub.net/events.php for more info Pelican Fest Triathlonon Saturday, May 24. Visit pelicanfesttri.com for more info Loveland Lake to Lake Triathlon on Saturday, Jun. 28. Visit lovelandlaketolake.com for more info. Also, the Northern Colorado Triathlon Club (NoCo Tri) is a local resource for those new to the sport, as well as experienced athletes. Their mission is simple: Unifying all ages and abilities of endurance sport athletes into a supportive, educational and social community. Visit nocotriathlon.com for more information
shoe right onto the pedal, but your running shoes and a pair of stomp pedals will work just fine and help keep the initial cost of your first race down. The Run – 30-40% of your race depending on ability. Most of us, at one time or another, have run at some point. While running may not be your favorite of the three events, it is the one event you can train for anywhere and all you need is a good pair of shoes. Take the time to get a proper fit for a pair of shoes that are the best design for your feet. Before you lay out a training plan for your first triathlon, it is important to identify which sports you’re strong in and which ones need a bit more attention. That way during the next 12 weeks you can properly balance training for the three sports, working on improving your weaker ones and maintaining your strengths. Setting up a training week does require a bit of thought, but some simple considerations can make it a bit easier. •• Identify the best days and times of day for you to train. •• When appropriate, find a workout buddy. You are more likely to stick with a scheduled workout if you are meeting a friend. •• Be flexible. Life does throw changes at us all the time, so having the ability to move things around when needed is a big help. •• Schedule a day off each week, where all you may do is take a leisurely walk for 20-30 minutes if you feel antsy. •• Brick workouts may be challenging at first, but will help better prepare you for transitioning from one sport to another.
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Sunday
Off
Swim: 20-30 min easy
Bike: 30-40 min easy
Run: 20-30 min easy
Run: 20-30 easy
XT
Swim: 20-30 min easy
Bike: 30-40 min easy
Bike: 30-40 min easy & XT
Run: 20-30 min easy
Bike: 30-40 min easy
Off
Brick Swim: 20-25 min Bike: 30-35 min
Off
Bike:35-45 min
Run: 25-35 min w/strides Swim: 25-30 min
Swim 35-40 min easy
Run 30-35 min with strides
Swim 25-30 min mod.
Swim: 25-30 min easy
XT
Off
Off
XT + Bike 30 min prog.
Brick Bike 35-40 min easy Run: 25-30 min mod.
Run: 35-40 min with strides
Bike 45-50 min mod.
Swim 30-35 min easy & XT
Bike: 45-50 min mod.
Run 30-35 min with strides
Off
Bike: 50-55 min mod.
Run 40-45 min with Strides
Off
XT
Run 30-35 min w/strides
Swim 30-35 min mod.
Swim: 20-25 min easy
Off
easy spin on bike 15-20 min to make sure all is in working order
Brick Bike 35-40 min mod. Run 15-20 min easy Brick Bike: 35-40 min prog. to mod. Run: 15-20 min prog. to mod. Swim: 40-45 mins easy/mod. Brick Bike 35-40 min prog. to mod. Run 25-30 min prog. to mod. Brick Swim 30-35 min mod. Bike 40-45 min prog. Brick Bike 35-40 min prog. to mod. Run 30-35 min prog to mod. Brick Bike 40-45 min prog. to RP Run 20-25 min prog. to RP RACE Day
Mind+Body/Spring 2014 19
get fit section
Doggy Bootcamp By Kate Wrightson
Picture you, friends, family, your pup or pups, and a great motivational support group helping you move, sweat, laugh, enjoy the outdoors and have a ton of fun a few times a week while improving your dog’s obedience levels and social skills. Does this sound intriguing to you? Read on, friend! The bootcamp is designed to help you keep your healthcare costs for yourself and your pup lower by making fitness social, fun, approachable, and effective for both you and your animal.
20 Mind+Body/Spring 2014
Canine companions, “man’s best friend,” became companions by choice via bonding with hunters and gatherers and hunting alongside of us. They chose to become our companions and we consistently choose to have them in our homes and our lives because we enjoy their company. For some of us, they are our children, for others they are our pets, but regardless of your vantage point, you voluntarily have taken them into your care and are the sole individual responsible for their health, well-being and safety. With that being said, in the last 20 or so years both the animal and human health fields have made advancements in healthcare, but simultaneously health has been on the decline with diabetes, obesity and metabolic syndrome (to name a few) rates going through the roof. There are billions of dollars poured into healthcare spending each year on preventable conditions for both ourselves and our pets. Think of all the fun you could have with that money instead of paying one-time or reoccurring medical bills for you and your pet. I have personally thought about it and after spending nearly a decade of being in the health and fitness industry teaching groups, working with individuals and tailoring programs to make activity more accessible to the busy parent, working professional, student, and professional athlete I have learned an immense amount about motivation and drive in people and have decided to combine my passion for human health with my passion for animals and their well-being, too. This light-hearted newer endeavor in my field has been designed to boost motivation, program compliance, socialization and health here in Fort Collins, Colorado. The class series is called Bootcamp:
Doggy Style (har, har) and will be offered on a monthly basis in Spring-Fall months as weather permits at our local parks and in our foothills. Each month we all will work through a progression of locations and fitness challenges to help you reach your peak fitness capacity while getting your dog out of the house, having some fun, socializing, and staying physically fit and active in efforts to enjoy life and save you money. The bootcamp is designed to help you keep your healthcare costs for yourself and your pup lower by making fitness social, fun, approachable, and effective for both you and your animal. We aim to do this via 60-minute, interval-style circuit workouts that enable you and your pet to work at your own pace and fitness level within a group of motivating individuals working together to keep everyone coming back in order to become stronger, leaner and healthier overall. The pets that attend have fun joining you in some of the more cardiovascular and technical activities like step-ups, depth-jumps, and shuffle slides while they learn to take obedience breaks during their humans’ other more stationary exercises including core and upper body work. Your pet is the best buddy you can have for your fitness. No matter what the breed, your canine companion has the desire and drive to be a companion for you no matter what activity you are doing. Bootcamp: Doggy Style is another opportunity for you to improve your connection to your companion canine via collaborative activity and fun. Make your fitness and bonding experiences feel less like work and more like fun by looking for updates and locations for this series via my website livebeyondlimit.com and coloradoan.com/MindBody.
Mind+Body/Spring 2014 21
What’s your risk?
152 96 Stage 1 Hypertension
Heart disease doesn’t make a grand entrance. It sneaks up slowly to attack when you least expect it. But that doesn’t mean you’re helpless to prevent it. The experts at Colorado Health Medical Group can evaluate your current risk and help you prevent heart disease before it strikes.
Know where you stand. Make an appointment today and stop heart disease in its tracks. 22 Mind+Body/Spring 2014
on the rocks get healthy
Healthy on the outside doesn’t always mean healthy on the inside. Take an online heart assessment and find out your risk in 5 minutes. care.uchealth.org/heart
800.459.4241| pvhs.org Mind+Body/Winter 2014 23
get healthy section
Sweet Sips for Spring
L
ooking for some sophistication for your night out in Old Town Fort Collins? Look no further than Elliot’s Martini Bar. Classic martinis, creative drinks, and seasonal cocktails are just a few of the many treats you will find here. The pleasant atmosphere and delicious beverages are sure to make for a memorable night. What’s even better? Now you can bring the experience into your own home. Try these Elliot’s original recipes, favorites of Elliot’s Bar Manager, Andrew Ruth. Bar Back Glossary: A Boston Shaker is a two-piece cocktail shaker, consisting of a mixing glass and metal tumbler. The Boston Shaker does not have a built in strainer, as the more common cobbler shaker does, and requires the use of a hawthorne strainer.
Mag-a-Rita: 2.5 ounces Tequila Blanco 1 ounce Pamplemousse Rose .5 ounces fresh lime juice .5 ounces fresh lemon juice 1 ounce grapefruit juice 2 dashes Angostura bitters 3 slices jalapeño In a rocks glass, muddle 2 thin jalapeño slices with about a half once of the tequila. Fill the glass with ice and add the remaining ingredients. Using a bar shaker, shake the drink Boston Shaker* style and pour into another rocks glass that has been rimmed with salt. Garnish with a lime wedge and the remaining jalapeno slice. Andrew Says: This drink is named after one of our cocktail waitresses and draws inspiration from her love of tequila and grapefruit as well as my love for a spicy margarita. We all love sitting in the sunshine with a cold margarita, especially when the spring sun first begins inviting us back outside. This
24 Mind+Body/Spring 2014
cocktail welcomes spring with a unique balance of sweet, fresh, salty, spicy, citrus, and bitter with a healthy kick of tequila. Pamplemousse is a grapefruit liqueur that I use in place of the Cointreau that you would use in traditional margarita and is the perfect way to provide sweetness. Like Maggie, this cocktail has attitude. The pink hue derives from the grapefruit juice and bitters, and paired with the abundant flavors, makes this cocktail a sexy way to celebrate the spring sunshine.
The Aristocrat: 3 ounces Bombay Sapphire .5 ounces Green Chartreuse .5 ounces St. Germain Elderflower 3 dashes lavender bitters 1 splash fresh lime juice Pour all ingredients into an ice filled cocktail shaker. Shake vigorously until it is extremely cold and strain into a cocktail (martini) glass. It should be so cold that ice crystals float on top of the martini. Garnish with a twist of lime and enjoy.
Andrew says: I really love this martini because it exudes refinement, elegance, and class. It is truly a sexy martini and invites you to just stick your pinkie out and sip away while you reflect on how beautiful you are. Bombay Sapphire uses 10 botanicals in their gin, and the balance of these flavors really pairs well with lavender. Chartreuse is a French liqueur first made in the 1700s by Carthusian Monks and is aged with 130 herbs, plants, and flowers. The exact recipe is a trade secret that only two monks who prepare the herbal mixture know. The herbaceous and pungent flavor of the Chartreuse works so well with the floral sweetness of the St. Germain and combines perfectly with the gin and lavender. Add a splash of fresh lime juice for acidity, and you have one delicious, elegant cocktail. Spring reminds me of grass and trees coming back to life which inspired me to use lime and Chartreuse in this sexy martini that is perfect as a spring sipper.
section get healthy
Create a
successful cheese plate Story by Tina Peters, General Manager, Gravity 1020 and Fort Collins Brewery
Mind+Body/Spring 2014 25
get healthy section
Cheese plate pictured on page 27 » Gravity 1020 Bacon Jam » Mou Co Camembert » Bounatavala Rustic Red Pepper » Hennings Cranberry Cheddar » Azul Fuent Valdeon Blue » Creminelli Finocchinona » Creminelli Prosciutto » Nita Crisp Spelt Crackers
I believe there should be four main cheese styles to any successful cheese plate: one soft cheese to spread on crackers, one spicy version to pair with sweet jams or chutneys, one hard cheese to serve with cured meats, and finally, any form of blue cheese to pair with agave nectar. Here are my local favorites, although any favorite of yours within the suggested style would work: MouCo: Camembert, a soft cheese with a buttery flavor that has a nutty finish. Haystack Mountain: Chile Jack, a semi-soft, spicy cheese with roasted Anaheim green chilies. Cozy Cow Dairy: Aged Rocky Mountain Cheddar, a hard cheese with a rich and creamy profile and a pleasant sharpness. Jumpin’ Good Goat Dairy: Buena Vista Bleu, a firm goat cheese with a robust savory blue flavor. Additional components for your cheese plate are meats, crackers, condiments and beer. Crackers: Here at Gravity 1020, we make an FCB spent-grain cracker; however, since most cooks wouldn’t have access to spent grain, I found that Nita Crisp Spelt crackers are a great substitution. Spelt has a mild, nutty flavor and often is used in whole-grain breads. Jams or chutneys: At Gravity 1020, we incorporate bacon into many of our dishes, and a cheese plate is no exception. Included here are recipes for our Bacon Jam and Spicy Apple Chutney. Chutneys play an amazing role on a cheese plate; their sweetness combats spicy cheese and enhances the sharpness of others. 26 Mind+Body/Spring 2014
Meats: I prefer cheese to take center stage on a cheese plate; however, thinly sliced meats play an important role in complementing your cheeses. A dry-cured meat such as prosciutto, with a dry-cured sausage such as soppressata provide the fattiness needed to cut through a sharp cheddar or otherwise overpowering blue. Whole Foods, Sprouts and King Soopers all have great deli counters, where all of the above are available thinly sliced. Agave nectar: Instead of honey, I go with organic agave nectar, which is made from the natural juice of the agave plant. Mudhava Amber is a great local option. The sweetness allows you to play with the flavors of your cheeses, bringing out more smoke flavors from blue cheese and adding to the creamy, butter flavor of camembert. Beer: Last, but certainly not least, are the beer pairings for your cheese plate. Major Tom’s American Wheat paired with the camembert brings out the sweet, tart pomegranate in the beer and enhances the nutty finish of the cheese. Red Banshee Ale paired with Chile Jack and Bacon Jam provides enough mild hop bite to hold up against the spice and sweet, while enhancing the sweetness of the jam. Along those same lines, our Rocky Mountain IPA has enough hop flavor to cut the fattiness and creamy profile of the aged cheddar and cured meats, while bringing out the floral aspect of the beer. Finally, pairing a blue cheese with Chocolate Stout will bring out the roasted coffee complexity of the beer, while allowing the strength of the blue cheese to still shine through.
Cheese Plate pictured on page 28 » Spicy Apple Chutney » Haystack Mountain Goat Cheese Dill and Garlic Chèvre » 365 Everyday Value Pepper Jack » Kerrygold Killagree Cheddar » Roth Kase Moody Blue » Applegate Farms Soppressata » Fra Mani Salame Rosa » Rustic Bakery Handmade Sourdough Flatbread, Olive Oil & Sel Gris flavor
section get healthy
Gravity 1020's Bacon Jam
Gravity 1020’s Bacon Jam Ingredients 2 pounds bacon (cut into 1-inch pieces) 1/2 cup bacon fat 2 large yellow onions (small dice) 1/2 cup brown sugar 1/4 cup garlic, minced 1 teaspoon ground cayenne pepper 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon 1/2 teaspoon nutmeg 1 cup bourbon whiskey, such as Feisty’s Bourbon Yellow Corn Rye 1 cup brewed coffee, such as Cafe Richesse 1/2 cup sherry vinegar 1/2 cup agave nectar, such as Mudhava Amber 3/4 cup ketchup
Directions In a large saucepan, cook bacon on medium-high heat until bacon starts to brown (10 minutes). Drain grease, save 1/2 cup and add back to cooked bacon. Stir in onion and cook until soft. Stir in brown sugar and begin the caramelizing of the onions. Cook for 5 more minutes, then mix in garlic, cayenne, cinnamon, nutmeg and cook longer until garlic is tender. Mix in whiskey, coffee, sherry and nectar and bring to a boil. Reduce to medium-low heat and let reduce to thicken (about 35 minutes). Remove from heat and finish by mixing in ketchup. Let cool. Ready to serve or store as desired. Can be stored in refrigerator for up to two weeks.
Fused glass platters provided courtesy of Marge Brodahl (970.420.3261)
Mind+Body/Spring 2014 27
get healthy healthy recipes
Spicy Apple Chutney
Spicy Apple Chutney Ingredients: 1/2 cup orange juice 1/2 cup Fort Collins Brewery’s Big Shot Brown Ale or other Brown Ale 6 tablespoons brown sugar 6 tablespoons apple cider vinegar 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon 1 teaspoon kosher salt 1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper 4 shallots (small dice) 1 jalapeño (seeded and minced) 2 garlic cloves (minced) 4 Granny Smith apples (peeled, cored, small diced) 4 teaspoons butter
Directions Combine orange juice, beer, brown sugar, vinegar, cinnamon, and salt and pepper in bowl and set aside. Melt the butter in a medium saucepan and add the shallots, jalapeño and garlic. Cook on medium heat until ingredients are tender (about 5 minutes). Add in orange juice mixture and the diced apples. Cook on a low simmer until the apples are tender. Remove from the heat and stir well to evenly mix all ingredients throughout. Let cool. Ready to serve or store. 28 Mind+Body/Spring 2014
section get healthy
Seasonal Sensations By Andrew Kensley
The early planting season already has begun in earnest for serious Northern Colorado gardeners and farmers. The rainbow is, of course, well represented in the springtime, with blue skies, red tulips, yellow daffodils and purple lilacs tickling the senses. But when it comes to edibles, it is no stretch to label spring’s true color with a modern synonym for growth and sustainability. “Greens are the most cold tolerant, so those are the ones you can actually get started earlier on,” said Ruth Inglis-Widrick, a founding member of Home Grown Food Colorado, a Fort Collins-based community gardening resource. “They’re the most nutrient rich, they’re easiest to grow, and they don’t deplete the soil like some of the big plants.” Inglis-Widrick points specifically to spinach, spicy varieties including mustard greens and arugula, and heftier plants such as chard, collards and kale to liven up your early-season bounty. She also recommends planting snow and snap peas, mint, and herbs such as cilantro and parsley, the seeds of which can be saved from year to year. Leeks and ramps, which are milder variations of the onion family, also tend to grow well in the early season. Pick them when the top green leaves look fresh, not wilted. They are crunchy when eaten raw, but cooking softens them up for use in soups and side dishes. Generally, the best time to harvest any of these healthful choices depends on the weather and the individual garden. “If leaves are big enough to eat and you’re hungry, eat them,” said Inglis-Widrick, who recommends plucking the largest leaves first. “You can continually harvest from things like kale, chard, beets, arugula, but you don’t want to strip the plant and leave it with its roots and small leaves.” For Coloradans, gardening is by no means a seasonal task. Serious green thumbs often start planting their crops indoors around the winter holiday season and leave them to germinate until spring. They may produce edible crops even before the snow is completely melted. “It’s conceivable to plant almost anything indoors from seed and then transplant it out,” said Guy Grigsby, the owner of Shortgrass Greenhouse, in Erie. “We start up the greenhouse the first of January, seed some trays of mixed greens, of mustard and lettuces, arugula, kale that we use in our own kitchen.” He cautions, however, that certain plants such as cucumbers and squash (Cinderella,
butternut and turban, to name a few varieties), as well as root crops such as carrots and onions, should be treated more carefully. While vegetables tend to successfully withstand winter’s cold temperatures and minimal water, fruits aren’t so lucky. Don’t expect to see much in the way of locally grown sweets such as cherries until June at the earliest, and melons, apples and peaches until later in the summer. In spite of an endless variety of tasty early-season produce, most consumers probably tend to stick with salad ingredients you’d find year-round in any supermarket. And while one certainly can’t go wrong with the basics, there is more out there. Just refer back to our buzzword for the season: green. The tops of freshly picked carrots, what most people discard when seeking out those crunchy, beta-carotenepacked treats, are loaded with vitamins C and K, potassium and calcium. Even the leaves of beets and peas (look for bright vines with vibrant-looking leaves), broccoli, cabbage and cauliflower can be safely eaten. The experts advise, however, that if you plan on eating more than what you’d find in the average supermarket produce section, it may be safer to go organic. Along the lines of expanding our horizons, Northern Coloradans might be surprised to learn how many unique types of edible plants are grown in our arid climate. Inglis-Widrick, who also is an instructor of food preservation at Colorado State University, gets very enthusiastic when describing the possibilities. “Orach is delicious and unbelievably nutritious,” she said, referring to an edible, locally occurring weed. Also called mountain spinach or giant lambsquarters, orach comes in green and purple (ruby) varieties and can emerge in as few as 14 days, but is generally mature at four weeks. It can be harvested as early as May, and the seed can be saved for up to five years. Also, lesserknown greens such as curly dock and patience dock start sprouting as soon as typical lawn weeds green up, around April.
Tips for growing at home “Healthy soil produces healthy plants,” said Inglis-Widrick. Add several inches of well-composted organic waste, such as animal manure, to your existing soil, to encourage the presence of microorganisms that bring nutrients to the roots. It can take many years for soil to mature, though, said Grigsby. Rototilling isn’t always necessary, unless you’re still developing your soil. Too much can disrupt the underground microscopic culture. Nothing grows unless water reaches the roots, so loosen up your soil. “It’s easy to overwater in a clay soil environment,” said Inglis-Widrick, who also noted that soil that is too sandy can siphon water away from thirsty roots. Try to achieve a balance with some clay, some sand and composted organic material. Mulching can help retain as much water as possible. Manipulating your garden’s setup can help limit weeds and pests. Crop rotation involves moving certain plants every year to avoid inviting crop-specific pests. “Cover crops” refers to planting two separate crops side by side, with one acting as a protector to the other. One example is planting a specific seed that will grow out “just for the sake of retilling it back into the soil,” said Glanz.
Mind+Body/Spring 2014 29
get centered section
Sex. It’s what we do. Love. It’s what we feel. By Angela Geis
and music of all time. Sex,
We joke about having our “mind in the gutter” or having “sex on the brain,” yet practically every sexually mature individual is affected by sex on a daily basis. Why? Sex and love start with the brain. This article takes an in-depth look at exactly what happens in the brain when we engage in sexual acts and when we fall in love.
sexuality and love mold every
Your brain on sex
To the average human being, sex is much more than just a noun. Sex and love have inspired some of the greatest literature, theater, poetry, film
industry from fashion and cosmetics to beer and tobacco. How is it that something so seemingly simple can affect our lives with such magnitude? 30 Mind+Body/Spring 2014
Sex is a very basic and primal activity that has one biological purpose: to reproduce. Our desire to procreate is driven by the limbic system. The limbic system is the most primal part of the brain, responsible for keeping you alive and procreating. At the most basic level,
this part of your brain chases pleasure and avoids pain It is this region of the brain that is responsible for the emotions we feel when we fall in and out of love, and we can’t consciously will it to change any more than we can will our heart to stop beating or our digestive system to stop working. The feeling of orgasm, or of being in love, is triggered when distinct parts of the limbic system are turned on or off. The triggers for these reactions are neurochemicals, and the neurochemical responsible for the addictiveness of love and lust is dopamine. Dopamine activates your reward centers and helps your brain identify something as good, bad or otherwise. Your reward centers
get centered
Oxytocin is the calmer, more rational side of the love/sex dynamic. It is soothing, reduces cravings, stabilizes mood and increases companionship. light up when you participate in activities that increase your chances of survival. This is why chocolate cake, which is laden with life-giving calories, activates your reward centers much more than broccoli. In that same vein, when you meet someone who would be a good partner to reproduce with, your reward center is activated by the release of dopamine. This is why you “crave” another person. It is this intense desire that has triggered a thousand love poems and cheesy songs. While dopamine is the “gottahave-it” chemical, it is not the “thisfeels-great” chemical. The actual experience of liking or enjoying something is due to opioids, your brain’s release of endorphins. These endorphins create the “high” you experience when you graze the leg of that special someone, and the mind-blowing bliss that we feel during orgasm. These neurochemicals have many positive effects on the mind and body. Sex and orgasms will release neurochemicals that can be quite intense. Dopamine, adrenaline and other endorphins are responsible for the racing heart, the intense urge to “do it again” and other addictive feelings. This behavior often is referred to as infatuation or “puppy love.” But the comfortable, warm feeling that comes from long-term bonding is not created by these neurochemicals. While endorphins
create bliss and dopamine keeps us coming back for more, the release of these chemicals is not permanent. We all have seen a relationship (or, if we are lucky, are currently in one) that lasts through the ages, long after the initial hormone releases have died down. The neurochemical responsible for long-term bonding is oxytocin, aka “the cuddle hormone.” Without oxytocin, forever love wouldn’t happen. This is the hormone that’s responsible for the gushy, mushy aspects of love. Oxytocin is the calmer, more rational side of the love/sex dynamic. It is soothing, reduces cravings, stabilizes mood and increases companionship. Dopamine and oxytocin are the yin and yang of longer relationships. You’ve got to have that dopamine kick to get you hooked on a partner, and that oxytocin hook to make you feel comfortable with your chosen partner. Both of these need to be acting on your reward centers in harmony for you to stay in love. Sex and love are different, and release different chemicals in the brain, but also are intertwined. There are so many different factors that contribute to sexual attraction, relationship viability and longevity that scientists still can’t figure it all out. One thing is for certain, sex and love are important, and can be even more important if you don’t have them in your life. Just do it, it’s good for you.
Benefits of sex and love Below is a list of the benefits these chemicals have on the body •• Increases release of •• Relieves stress hormones testosterone •• Eases depression and estrogen •• Relieves pain ••Increases confidence and •• Increases creativity and self-esteem imagination •• Speeds recovery time from •• Increases contentment and injury or illness feelings of happiness •• Increases longevity •• Boosts immune function •• Promotes good sleep •• Increases sensory receptors Mind+Body/Spring 2014 31
get centered section
Clear the clutter By Christa Novelli
Almost everyone can appreciate the joy of walking into a clean space with limited clutter. Finding the time and energy to get your own space clean and decluttered can be another matter, especially when a busy work schedule, family commitments and even emotional attachments to our possessions intervene. Getting started can be as simple as realizing that most of us cannot set aside days devoted solely to cleaning. Spring cleaning isn’t something that should happen only once a year, or you will need to spend many days doing it! An organized plan of attack, some shortcuts and the much maligned “multitasking” are the keys to keeping your home feeling spring clean year round. First, you will need to get all family members in on the plan. Assign duties that each person is expected to do daily or weekly. Perhaps the youngest family member can be expected to carry rolls of toilet paper to the upstairs bathroom every Saturday, and a teenager can be expected to wipe all of the glass surfaces with glass cleaner every Friday night. Perhaps that teenager can even wipe those glass surfaces during television commercials (multitasking). Ideas for cleaning shortcuts abound: vacuuming only hightraffic areas, heating a bowl of water and lemon in the microwave to 32 Mind+Body/Spring 2014
steam old spills loose, using AlkaSeltzer tablets in the toilet to loosen toilet stains, etc. Planning these shortcuts into the cleaning schedule can help show even those family members who claim not to have any time that keeping your space tidy is doable. Regular adherence to a basic cleaning plan also will keep your home clean enough that, when spring rolls around, you will be doing the deep cleaning that doesn’t happen every day rather than trying to clean a space that hasn’t been touched by a dust cloth in 12 months. What may be the hardest part of cleaning, however, is letting go of our emotional ties to our belongings. These emotional ties are often what keep our homes cluttered. Who among us can recycle her child’s finger paintings without any twinge of sadness even if said child is now a teenager? Emotional ties to items are, at their core, emotional ties to memories. That old sweater reminds you of your grandmother who gave it to you. Those old brochures from the
Tips for spring cleaning At some point, we’ve probably all employed the standard spring cleaning strategy of sorting things into three piles: keep, give away or sell, and throw away. Figuring out what belongs in each pile is the tough piece. Your “keep” pile should include: » Items that you use regularly » Items that are in good working condition » Items that are not duplicates (you probably don’t need three different types of carrot peelers) » A few select items that you just love: artwork, clothing, furniture, knick-knacks, etc. Your “give away or sell” pile should include: » Clothing that no longer fits or will never be worn by anyone in your household. » Duplicates (see above) » Defunct items (old turntables, outgrown board games, DVDs of movies you’ll never watch again) » Things that someone else could use and which you do not
Your “throw away” pile should include: » Junk that no one else would want (broken or stained items or items that are missing key pieces) If you are unsure where something belongs, box it up and revisit it in six months. If you haven’t opened the box in that time, you probably don’t need the items unless it is something used only seasonally, such as Christmas decorations.
zip line company remind you of the trip to Central America. However, do you actually rifle through the piles of clothes in your closet to pull out that sweater and look at it to remember your grandmother, or can you call to mind standing in her kitchen baking cookies without needing a physical object to remember her? If the brochures are sitting in a box in the closet, do you really need them to remember the trip? Do you actually take them out and look at them, or are those memories something you can summon up without the paperwork? The opposing extremes of holding onto or purging your home of belongings are hoarding and minimalism. Hoarders cannot let go of anything and find their relationships and lives impacted by the overwhelming amount of stuff crowding their homes to the point that they often cannot have people over. Minimalists find peace in living simply, keeping only those things that are absolutely necessary, with the definition of “necessary” varying by the person. One person might need a car. Another might find ways to get around without one
– biking, public transit and so on. Minimalists certainly have a better handle on letting go of objects than do the majority of us. Unlike hoarding, minimalism can be emotionally healthy. Minimalism can enable people to reclaim their time (less time spent cleaning when there is less to clean) and focus their energy on things other than accumulation and maintenance of material possessions. Carried to an extreme, on the other hand, it can become an obsession which takes up more of your mental energy than it frees. Counting possessions and constantly trying to find a way to trim back, spending countless time trying to find multipurpose tools so you can pare down to one tool rather than two or three… this isn’t freedom so much as an addiction. The ultimate test of the healthiness of your cleaning and possession accumulation strategy is this: How is it impacting your relationships and mental energy? If the amount of “stuff ” that you keep (or don’t keep) is creating arguments or eating up all of your mental downtime, something needs to change.
Mind+Body/Spring 2014 33
SPECIAL PROMOTION
Project: Mulica Patio
Fire Feature Renovation A circular fire feature was incorporated into the two-tier patio renovation by Surroundings
The project incorporated existing elements on site and added design flair, refinement, utility, and drama to an already notable home exterior. The picturesque result was breathtaking in scope, execution, and completion.
After Before
“Our clients were very discerning, so we had to be on top of our game...”
“We had to demo existing concrete patios, railings, and staircases,” said Alissa Strickland, Senior Landscape Architect, RLA, Surroundings. In addition, the project included “a new steel framed Trex deck, railings, staircase, paver patio, stone veneer on an existing wall, a stone seat wall, a stone gas fire pit, a pergola with automatic vertical shades, a naturalized water feature, landscaping and irrigation renovations, and outdoor furniture for the new patio and deck spaces.” If the long list of components was not a daunting enough task, Strickland’s team also accomplished the project while navigating the challenge of a Colorado winter, including bitter cold
and abundant snow. “We also ran into some integrity issues with the existing wall and had to make on-site changes to address the issue,” Strickland said. “Our clients were very discerning, so we had to be on top of our game during the entire construction process. In the end this helped us to create a showcase of a project, and very happy clients.” For 34 years, landscape design/build has been a major component of exterior services provided by Surroundings. Today, the percentage of design/build is closer to 60% of overall sales, with the remaining 40% attributed to the retail outdoor living category. The Mulica’s came into the store as retail customers and became design/build customers,
which is happening more consistently with the opening of the retail store. Surroundings also manufactures outdoor kitchen cabinets, fire pits, fireplaces, as well as pergola systems and finished outdoor kitchen islands. Strickland sees the design/build service definitely affecting the retail side as well, due in part to discounts offered to design/build clients. “We design furniture arrangements for their new patio/deck space during our design process so furniture can be ordered in time for the completion of the project,” Strickland said. “We also design shade options, outdoor lighting, heating, cooling and many other outdoor accessories.”
34 Mind+Body/Spring 2014 Summer is coming! Call today to schedule a consultation and get the patio of your dreams.
SPECIAL PROMOTIONS
Make your backyard the favorite room in your house.
FINANCING AVAILABLE*
Visit our showroom and plan your dream patio today! We’ve got the lowest prices GUARANTEED! We will meet or beat anyone on like merchandise INCLUDING THE INTERNET! See store for full price match policy. *Subject to credit approval. See store for details.
2014 35 250 E. Harmony Rd. F-6 (ACROSS FROM HALLMARK) • www.SurroundingsStore.comMind+Body/Spring • 970.449.4484
get home
rchid Radiant O
Bring home a little radiance
Blue Placid Blue Dazzling
Tulip Violet Cayenne
ck Hemlo range Celosia O
a Palom
We’ve already seen 2014’s color of the year, Radiant Orchid, splashed around in the latest trends—creating a healthy, attentiongrabbing glow when worn in fashion. Beautifully complementing all hair, eye and skin tones, this purple hue is sure to help you make a statement this year. But why stop with fashion? Bring some
brilliance into your home this season with fun accents and accessories incorporated into a playful springtime palate. Mind+Body went local for some phenomenal finds to help you bring the radiance home. Use our finds as inspiration for your own home makeover with this spring’s hottest colors.
Freesia
Sand
Pantone’s Spring 2014 palette includes bright jewel tones, whispery pastels and a selection of great neturals.
Make a statement with this sign in Freesia and Paloma. $34.95 Feather Your Nest, Front Range Village, 970-223-2301.
Go bold with this wall art in Cayenne, Celosia Orange, Paloma and Hemlock. Crazy Love Wall Flower, $149.95. Feather Your Nest, Front Range Village, 970-223-2301. Perfect for a nosegay of spring wildflowers, these Hemlock and Cayenne watering cans will look great in any room. Green Rust Watering Can, $91.99, Red Rust Watering Can, $81.99. Cozy Cottage, Front Range Village, 970-226-2699.
Bring a splash of spring into your kitchen with these hemlock, freesia and orchid linens. Shelby Green Napkin, $8.99, Blooms Jaquard Dishtowl, $9.99. Cozy Cottage, Front Range Village, 970-226-2699.
Brighten your bedroom with almost the entire spring palette with this great bedding from Cozy Cottage, $52.99–$560. Cozy Cottage, Front Range Village, 970-226-2699.
36 Mind+Body/Spring 2014
Looking for just a pop of color? House your memories in these great reclaimed frames from Feather Your Nest. 4x6 Scrapwood Frame, $24.95. 4x4 9’ Photo Frame, $21.95. Feather Your Nest, Front Range Village, 970-223-2301.
get out
8 splendid spring outings By Kristin Deily
Bisetti’s Nook In northern Colorado, Bisetti’s is known as the place to take your sweetheart for a romantic dinner date. And there is no more intimate setting than The Cubby, a quaint, private dining space just for two in the middle of the Old Town bustle. This dinner arrangement is sure to make for a special night, but be sure to plan well in advance. This spot is popular!
Vintages A wine tasting at Vintages is a fantastic alternative night out when you are looking to get away from the same old “dinner and a movie.” Vintages offers an opportunity to try myriad high quality wines, and allows you to figure out what you like and don’t like, as well as explore food and wine pairings. The philosophy at Vintages is that fun spent making memories with loved ones are the most valuable, and they strive to create those memories.
get out of your boring routine. Everything is taken care of for you; from supplies to cleanup, making a mess doesn’t get any better (or easier). Don’t have any artistic talent, you say? Not a problem! Specially trained artists will guide you step-by-step through your painting design, and a few drinks from the bar are sure to get your creative juices flowing. Grab your man and get out to Pinot’s Palette for a night that will turn out nothing short of a masterpiece!
Arthur’s Rock/City Park What could possibly be more romantic than a hike, followed by having a delicious meal in the great outdoors? With a bottle of wine, some help from a picnic basket from the Cupboard, and a fantastic view, there may be nothing that can compare. M+B recommends Arthur’s Rock as a short hike with a fantastic payoff view when you reach the top of the trail, perfect for spreading out for a while and taking it all in. For those less inclined to work up a little sweat, try Fort Collins City Park. All the pretty, for half the effort.
yurts are equipped with beds, woodstoves, and basic cooking facilities. So for our backcountry enthusiasts, check out the Never Summer Nordic Yurts for a truly romantic getaway.
Armstrong Hotel/ Ace Gillet’s Lounge/ Chocolate Cafe Enjoying a night in Old Town Fort Collins is never more romantic than enjoying handcrafted martinis, gourmet cuisine, and live jazz at Ace Gillet’s and then walking upstairs to the swank style of the Armstrong Hotel. This private, family-run boutique hotel is the last operating historic hotel in downtown Fort Collins, and a local landmark. Choose from a variety of vintage and modern signature rooms and suites, each with an elegance of its own. The Armstrong Hotel is within walking distance of all of Old Town’s amenities, ensuring an easy and relaxing getaway.
Never Summer Nordic Yurts
Pinot’s Palette Pinot’s Palette will make your date night a work of art—literally! Sign up for a casual night of painting and wine (or beer), and 38 Mind+Body/Spring 2014
There is nothing quite like leaving civilization behind and getting away with only your significant other for a truly romantic experience. Take a short trek up Poudre Canyon, and experience the outdoors in its pristine seclusion. Winter or summer, there are many activities in the surrounding areas, and the
The Stanley Film Festival at The Stanley Hotel The Stanley Hotel, in Estes Park, is an historic Colorado landmark. It features incredible architecture, breathtaking views
of Rocky Mountain National Park, and the infamy of inspiring one of the greatest horror novels of all time, The Shining. Again this year, April 24-27, 2014, The Stanley Hotel is playing host to the Stanley Film Festival, a celebration of the horror film genre. Passes can be purchased just for screenings, or for an all-inclusive weekend with hotel stays and parties included. This festival recognizes the greatness of horror film heritage, as well as the grand and storied history of the hotel, making it a fantastic backdrop for a thrillingly romantic outing with someone special.
“Mad Men” inspired Denver day trip
Start your date with a trip to the Denver Art Museum exhibit Modern Masters: 20th Century Icons from the Albright-Knox Art Gallery through June 8, 2014 (denverartmuseum.org). Bask in pieces from the postimpressionists through the pop art movement, including pieces from Jackson Pollock, Frida Kahlo and Picasso. After strolling around the museum, stop in for a bite at The Corner Office (thecornerofficedenver.com). With a variety of dishes such as lobster mac and cheese and bibimbap (a Korean steak dish), all served in a sixties inspired lounge environment, you’re sure to find something to whet your appetite before you head back to the Fort.
pursuit
PURSUIT: Inside BEAUTIFUL LIVING...40 GOOD TIMES...42 SMOOTH RIDE...44
Special Promotional Section
Mind+Body/Spring 2014 39
PURSUIT: Beautiful Living
Trekking through Europe with Brown’s Shoe Fit Co. If any common characteristic unites Coloradans, it is a love for adventure. And for some of us, those adventures lead us to explore foreign countries, full of landscapes, architecture, art, landmarks, and cuisine to be experienced. And as any traveler knows, one of the most important factors for a successful trip is staying comfortable throughout the journey.
Brown’s has expertise in many areas, but keeping you comfortably shod for any occasion is their forte. When traveling and exploring, keeping your feet comfortable is of paramount importance. There is nothing worse than having to miss out on once-in-a-lifetime experiences because your feet hurt. Don’t let the story of your vacation be pain and disappointment. Let Brown’s help you find the right shoes to wear on the trip of your dreams.
Keen Newport H2, $100
Ahnu Sugarpine Airmesh, $110
Vionic Eve, $75
Chaco Z1 Yampa, $100
Salomon XR Mission W, $110
Merrell Salida, $100
Pikolinos Puerto Vallarta $159
Ecco Offroad, $130
Olukai Kulapakai, $60
The Rugged Walking Shoe
The Water Friendly Walking Sandal
The Cute and Comfortable Sandal
For covering serious ground, or somewhat unpredictable terrain, Brown’s recommends taking along a sturdy walking shoe. These shoes are lightweight, with a rugged sole to protect and support your foot for long days of trekking . The most important factor for all of these shoes is the support which they provide, which should be the paramount consideration for the inclusion of any shoe you take along on your trip. Support means comfort. Plus, many of the models at Brown's also come in fun and funky colors, sure to stand out just enough in the crowd and highlight you as someone who knows how to capture both style and function.
Lots of times vacations take us to hot and humid climates, where we want as little covering our feet as possible. Never fear, savvy traveler! Brown's has a shoe for that. These shoes are the best of both worlds. They are lightweight, open, dry easily, and yet still provide support necessary to walk all day and protect the foot. There are several styles that encompass these multifaceted attributes, in colors both conservative and very funky, to fit your every warm weather vacation need.
After the long day of playing tourist is done, and it is time to go out for some fabulous local cuisine, you can slip into one of these comfortable, supportive, and fashionable sandals. These are the least geared towards many miles of walking, but the most geared towards looking fashionable for an evening out on the town. The key with these sandals is that while they are cute and appropriate to wear out, they continue to support the foot throughout, ensuring continued comfort throughout the night and again in the morning when the walking shoes go back on. Dancing the night away has never felt better!
40 Mind+Body/Spring 2014
Special Promotional Section
Mind+Body/Spring 2014 41
PURSUIT: Good Times
Fun in the Fort The Big Swing: Golf Party and Demo Day Golf season will officially tee off on April 19 at Collindale Golf Course, 1441 E. Horsetooth Road, with this family-friendly golf party and demo day. The Big Swing, presented by Dellenbach Cadillac, will feature a day of golf-related activities, contests, product demos and entertainment. The event begins at 10:00 a.m. and goes until 3:00 p.m. It’s not just for adults, a special appearance by Divot, the world’s greatest golfing clown and nationally recognized trick shot artist Kevin Compare are planned as well as the chance for your child to try their hand at golf with a SNAG Golf Course. C.B. & Potts will be on hand with food and beverages for sale. For more information visit fcgov.com/golf.
42 Mind+Body/Spring 2014
Kites in the Park
Father’s Day 5K Run/Walk:
4th of July Parade
Are you looking for a way to get outside and actually enjoy the wind? The 7th Annual Kites in the Park Festival will be on Sunday, April 27 from 10:00 a.m.-4:00 p.m. at Spring Canyon Community Park, 2626 W. Horsetooth Road; the event is free to the public. This awesome event celebrating the wind will feature kite flying demonstrations, contests for kids, the Recreation Summer Activities Fair, giant kites and kite battles and so much more! Food vendors will be on hand if you get hungry as well as a kid's kite making station where they can decorate, attach tails and fly their very own kite! For more information about Kites in the Park, email Jill Mueggenberg at jmueggenberg@ fcgov.com.
The Annual Father’s Day Run/Walk, presented by Floyd’s 99 Barbershop, is in its 17th year, and the proceeds will benefit youth and adaptive recreation programs in Northern Colorado. Outstanding athletes and amazing dads will be recognized after the race with a range of prizes from Runner’s Roost and cash! What better way to spend a special day with Dad while supporting the community and keeping yourself healthy? A special thank you to this year’s sponsors: Floyd’s 99 Barbershop, University of Colorado Health, RunLimited, Townsquare Media, Citizen Printing, Coopersmith’s Pub & Brewing, Rodizio Grill, Downtown Business Association, Runners Roost and Altitude Running. Sunday, June 15, 2014. Registration @ 6:45-7:45 a.m. Race begins @ 8:00 a.m. Pre-Registration: $30/Adult, $15/ Youth, $45/Father & Child Team For more information visit: fcgov/recreation.
What’s red, white, blue, and cruising down the street on Mountain Avenue this Fourth of July? Your patriotic parade float! We know you have what it takes to harness your inner creativity and channel it into a rolling work of art! And what’s better than celebrating America in parade-floatstyle? Prizes, of course! Best overall float along with 2nd and 3rd places will be awarded after the parade. Space is limited, so get your application in before May 23rd at 5:00 pm and start “floating”! For more information contact Jill Mueggenberg at jmueggenberg@ fc.gov or 970.221.6358.
Special Promotional Section
Special Promotion
Mind+Body/Spring 2014 43
PURSUIT: Smooth Ride
Test Drive: 2014 Toyota 4Runner What do women in Colorado want? Functional luxury. Rugged comfort. A vehicle that can keep up with them in every facet of their adventurous lives…. And keep them looking darn good while doing it! This vehicle is comfortable for city and highway driving, packing the kids, or shopping bags, or outdoor gear efficiently and safely. Really, for the woman who loves to do a little bit (or a lot!) of everything, the 2014 Toyota 4Runner Trail is the key to keeping it all together. Mary, our quintessential Colorado woman and test driver extraordinaire, agreed to test this fantastic vehicle with the things that she values most in mind. She picked out the features that stood out to her as not only unique, but fantastically advantageous to the Colorado woman on-the-go!
Multi-Terrain Select: Confidence. Knowing you can count on your vehicle whatever the weather, whatever the terrain, is priceless. Colorado is unpredictable. The 4Runner adjusts to Mother Nature’s little surprises effortlessly, keeping you safely in control.
App Suite: What’s the weather looking like this afternoon? How is the traffic on the way to Denver? In the 2014 4Runner, you can set up your navigation to avoid nasty traffic, check the weather, and keep the tunes in line with your mood with voice activated navigation on the 6-inch display touch screen. Stay informed, and in control.
Sliding Rear Cargo Deck: Pull right up to the soccer field, or the campsite, or anywhere else and make yourself comfortable! The 4Runner has a sliding rear cargo deck that pulls out easily for your own personal seating. No need to pack the folding chairs, though you have plenty of room to pack them…the 4Runner has you covered.
Power Rear Glass: To take advantage of our fabulous Colorado sunshine, roll down that power rear window, and take it all in! Mountain air does a body good.
Backup Camera with Projected Path: Parallel parking in Old Town always comes with an audience. But never fear! With the 4Runner’s backup camera with projected path, you can put on a master class and snag that prime spot. Get ready for the applause. 44 Mind+Body/Spring 2014
EVEN AFTER THOUSANDS OF MILES OF TREACHEROUS, WEATHER-BEATEN, HARSH TRAILS, 90% OF 4RUNNERS SOLD IN THE LAST TEN YEARS ARE STILL ON THE ROAD.*
The 2014 Toyota 4Runner
PEDERSEN TOYOTA 4455 S. College Ave., Fort Collins, CO 80525 888.591.0784 PedersenToyota.com
Prototypes shown with options. Production model may vary *Based on IHS Automotive: Polk U.S. Vehicles In Operations registration statistics MY 2004-2013 as of October 2013.
Mind+Body/Spring 2014 45
Story by Andrew Kensley Photos by Caleb Young
Sam&Lavi Nimi top ($118), Free People bandeau ($28), and AG Tomboy jeans ($168) courtesy of MKLaren.
46 Mind+Body/Spring 2014
S
hauna Sledge has things to do. Like run two businesses with her 18-month-old assistant, Skyler. Be a devoted wife to her husband, Todd, and a mother to two teenage daughters, Stephanie and Meghan. She teaches Group Fitness, Crossfit, aerobics, kickboxing, spinning, and yoga, works as a dental hygienist, and competes in endurance races. To win. Not surprisingly, the sprightly 40-year-old from tiny Snook, Texas, doesn’t get much sleep. A self-described adrenaline junkie and lover of all things outdoors, Shauna has taken the Colorado health-nut stereotype one step further. In 2011, she and Todd founded Braaap Nutrition, producing gluten-, soy-, and preservative-free nutrition bars specifically designed for health-conscious people like herself. In 2013, they launched Braaap’s sister company, The Paleo Diet ™Foods, whose signature product adheres to the principles of the popular hunter-gatherer diet founded by the world-renowned scientist, Dr. Loren Cordain. Sledge is also entirely comfortable coordinating her myriad responsibilities in the comfort of her workout clothes, and with good reason. With a schedule that can include 50-mile bike rides to readying a shipment at the warehouse to running Skyler ragged at the park, she must always be ready for anything.
Grounded by a strong faith and a hunger for experiencing everything life has to offer, Sledge’s diminutive body houses an outsized spirit. Having lived through considerable uncertainty as a child, and supported Todd’s daughters (hers, now) through the aftermath of similar trauma, her guiding principle is that we are ultimately responsible for our own happiness. With a “zero tolerance” policy for excuses, Sledge chooses to see the world through a decidedly optimistic lens. Don’t even think of calling her lucky. If she has a middle name, it should be opportunist. Want examples? At the age of 18, she overheard her orthodontist talking to his staff about possibly hiring someone. In a Texas minute, she was cleaning instruments and taking X-rays, on her way to a career in dental hygiene. When her step aerobics teacher needed a sub, Sledge volunteered. Despite an acute case of Mind+Body/Spring 2014 47
SS: We were demonstrating Braaap at whole foods and people would say, I really like your bars, but they’re made with whey protein and I’m lactose intolerant. Or, I really like your bars, but they’re made with rice and I’m on the Paleo Diet. So I called Dr. Cordain, and I said I wanted to talk about a proposition with a bar. So I went in there and said, “If I made a bar that you would endorse, what does that look like?” He said if you make it, it had to have as close to equal energies of carbs, fat and protein, and it had to have all nine essential amino acids. I mixed it up and took it to CSU, and they did all the lab testing, and FDA stuff and nutritional analysis in the food science department. I got it 33/33/33, but it wouldn’t stick together. I found a place in Oregon, and we learned the manufacturing process from them. And we had it in R&D, and they took my recipe and had them tweak it a little bit. That cost $3000, and then we had to spend $5000 to do a pilot run. Finally, Dr. Cordain ran the analysis and said, “You came up with the perfect bar.” We signed a contract and a trademark agreement, and here we are.
“We’d have to remember
M+B: You’ve said that Braaap is the sound of jumpstarting a journey and accelerating forward. Is Braaap you in a protein bar? SS: (Laughs) That’s what Todd always says: You said let’s do it, and you started it, and we’re pushing forward! But it’s been hard. We made those bars two nights a week from 9:00 to 12:00 by ourselves in the kitchen for a year and a half. I learned business, purchasing and packaging, and I did all this stuff online, researching and calling and asking questions. We’d have arguments like, “You forgot to turn on the timer!” “You burned a whole pan and that’s 48 bars!” When you’re there for four hours after you’ve been working all day and trying to make bars to sell, you don’t want to mess up. We’d have to remember not to blame each other, and remember to separate love and business. M+B: With Braaap not yet making a profit, are you worried about failing? SS: I won’t fail because people believe in us. I don’t care what it takes. I did have a breakdown moment at the end of last year, because we had just launched Paleo, and
not to blame each other, and remember to separate love and business.”
stage fright, the class loved her, effectively launching a successful teaching career. Sledge does admit, with the easy demeanor of someone who will never expect a handout, that she was hired to teach that class strictly because of her enthusiasm. “The people were so nice to me and didn’t care that I couldn’t carry a beat,” Sledge recalls now. “I guess they cared that I tried.” And there it is: Shauna Sledge in a nutshell. From hiking Africa’s highest peak, to devising healthy culinary creations, to raising a family, her message is clear: nothing worth doing comes without effort. M+B: Have nutrition and health always been a big part of your life? SS: I would say since I was able to take charge of my own life, yes, for sure. In high school, I decided I wanted to become a cross-country runner. So starting in the 9th or 48 Mind+Body/Spring 2014
10th grade I’d get up at five in the morning and go running. And then I got on the team, and I’d have to figure out how I was going to get there and get back because my parents weren’t the kind of parents that took you to the movies and dropped you off with your friends, or made sure you got to your sporting events. It just wasn’t a priority to them. I remember one year, I got into regionals for cross-country and my parents had a hunting weekend, and so they said I had to stay home with my sister. That was the first time I ever defied my parents. I went on the bus with the team and was back the same day, and told my mom later on, probably a week later. But to this day my dad probably doesn’t know that I snuck off to go to regionals. M+B: How did you get hooked up with Dr. Cordain and the Paleo Diet?
Shauna pictured with husband Todd Sledge
“I won’t fail because people believe in us. I don’t care what it takes.”
Joe's Western Shirt ($78), Niki Biki Cami ($18), and AG Tomboy jeans ($168) courtesy of MKLaren. Novel Single Bench ($537) and Petite Swivel Chair courtesy of Forma Furniture
I felt scattered. I’d work in that little office from one in the morning till five or six. I knew I could just focus on the company, and didn’t have to worry about where the baby was, where’s Todd, where are the girls. So I’d work, then come home and see the family. M+B: What’s your ultimate goal for your companies? SS: Ultimately, I’d like for Braaap to be a household name. “Hey Mom, did you get my Braaap bar for the soccer game?” For 60 yearold women to know what Braaap means. And to thank the people who gave us a chance. M+B: When do you sleep? SS: Just from 9 to 12, or sometimes I work at 3 am, so I only need about 4 hours. M+B: How do you balance work and life? SS: That time management thing. In the morning, I’ll go to the gym or I’ll be home and I get my block of emails and my tasks done. We’ve given the girls a guideline and they know what to do, and if they get too far out of that guideline, we reel them back in but they know, so I don’t have to micromanage them. I’m not going to let them get too far off track; there are repercussions for not doing what you’re supposed to do. M+B: How do you manage taking care of a baby after working crazy hours and coming home at 5 in the morning? SS: Once everybody leaves in the morning, that’s my time with Skyler. I do a little lesson with him, whether it’s art or science or colors or animals, and then let him play by himself while I continue to work and do phone calls. And usually around 9:30 or 10 he’s sleepy, so
I lay him down and I can get ready, or I go to the warehouse and do order fulfillment and he goes with me. I time it so he’s at sleep time. I get him exhausted and he sleeps in the car. M+B: He’s your business partner. SS: He is! (Laughs) M+B: You realize that what you’re doing, running a business with a one-year old, is not normal. Does life come easy to you? SS: I would say, yes. And that’s why it makes me emotional. I was granted the Holy Spirit, and I have Jesus in my heart. (Tears up.) You love people, do right by people, and your intentions are good, and you work hard, it should be easy. You can make it hard if you want to. I think people make it hard. I don’t like excuses. M+B: Your family is a bit different from others. SS: I’ve been married almost five years. Todd had two girls, 13 and 17 (from a previous marriage). When we met they were barely 8 and 12, and they lost their mom when they were 5 and 9. We met, life began, and instantly I was a mom. That was wonderful and crazy all at the same time. M+B: Was the transition from single woman to instant mother hard? SS: Being an adult without children, I was always into fun, fun, fun. I was also very structured, with zero tolerance for things. If you know what you should do, you should do it right, you should do it to its completeness. I had that kind of mindset. I had the expectation that children were programmed that way too, and they’re not. But we meshed pretty quickly. After three days of
knowing each other, we kind of conglomerated into a family. And I told the girls that I’m here as a support system and will love them, and I’m here for them unconditionally. We definitely have a lot of fun together. And they respect me and I respect them. M+B: How long were you and Todd together before you got married? SS: A year and a half. M+B: So there was also an “engagement period” between you and the kids. Were there times when you said, “What am I doing?” SS: I had no second thoughts whatsoever. Even as teenagers, we had the conversation: “I know I’m not your ‘mom’ but I’m still a parent figure so you have to respect me and I have to respect you.” We’ve never had any of, “You’re not my mom, you can’t tell me what to do!” type-of-things. But I can be a little bit of a perfectionist, and I can’t put that on them. So I step back sometimes and say, “Todd, you handle this because the way I’m going to handle it, I’m expecting perfection and they don’t care that much about it.” M+B: How do you manage being an adrenaline junkie with having children? SS: Everybody has to give and take. I’m not expecting you to go on a big bike ride with me if you hate it. But I need you to let me have that time because I need that for completeness. Just like I’m going to make sure you get to your theater rehearsals because that’s what you need, and we meet in the middle to do what everybody likes. It’s a sacrifice both ways. Here’s a story for you: I’m up in Steamboat doing the queen bee, the first day you ride your bike 50 miles and Mind+Body/Spring 2014 49
You love people, do right by people, and your intentions are good, and you work hard, it should be easy.
KOS*USA Zebra Tie Dye Capris ($54), Handful adjustable black sports bra (44), lucy Pranayama Burnout Long Sleeve Top ($69) courtesy of Prima Bodywear
the next day you run a marathon. I said, “Don’t come until the very end, go play, go hang out, don’t sit around and wait for me, at the end let’s go to dinner.” I get done with the first 25 miles, and Todd’s sitting there with the baby, but they’re going to have to wait another three hours while I do another lap. So I start to climb the hardest part of the mountain, and I’m like, “You know what, I don’t want to do this anymore.” I turned around and made a line for the bottom. That aching in my heart said you don’t have anything to prove. M+B: What’s the most important thing for you, as far as raising a family? SS: To know that no matter what happens, we’ll always be here for them. M+B: Do Meghan and Stephanie consider you a stepmother? SS: No, they call me mom. I refer to them as my kids. I never have referred to them as my stepkids, and I don’t feel that way, and they don’t seem to feel that way. Every once in a while you’ll have your teenage moment, when they’re like, “Quit telling me what to do!” but that’s pretty much it. M+B: What draws you to competitive endurance events? 50 Mind+Body/Spring 2014
SS: I think it’s the thrill of doing something that you think might scare you, and getting on the other side of that. I like fast, I always have. Maybe I like to be scared, the challenge? Expanding your parameters. I always feel like you have to keep going bigger and better and never being content. If I get the chance to ride the continental divide ride one day, which I hope to, I’m going to do that. M+B: Sounds like your enthusiasm and your innate personality have taken you far. SS: I will never forget some of these key moments. (Starts crying). Sorry. You know how sometimes you don’t reflect because you’re so busy? Then I wanted to teach kickboxing, and Miramont was going to put a bunch of us through training and pay for it. (Pause for more tears) M+B: Why are you crying? SS: Stuff like that…when people give you a chance…it’s just, I just am grateful for people. You hear about how people suck, but people are better than that, I think. There’s a misunderstanding somewhere. They’re hurting somewhere. They’re still good, way down there
I’m so sorry … wait, why am I sorry? What am I sorry for?
Stop being
SORRY Why women apologize so much and how to stop. Story by Rachel Metzgar
S
ometimes, the words “I’m sorry” escape my mouth before I even consider their necessity. The apology is a powerful expression, meant to convey real remorse for an offense. You might even make the stretch to utter an “I’m sorry” to communicate regret or grief. Unfortunately, many of us have taken the power from these words by blurting out apologies without thought. Women are particularly prone to over-apologizing – so, why do we do it? In a time when women have gained the right to speak, to lead, to work and stand as equals, why do we still apologize for ourselves? As a woman with a successful career, a happy marriage and an independent spirit, I was skeptical when I began reading that women fall into this trap of overapologizing. But almost immediately after I started looking into it, I noticed myself doing it. My days were littered with, “I’m sorry, but…” and “Oh, I’m so sorry …” I was apologizing for everything from interrupting to asking for help. I also noticed how much my female co-workers fell into this same pattern – apologizing for speaking up at a meeting, even apologizing for their opinions or points of view. I was shocked that this habit was so common, so I took some time to look at why women have this tendency and what we can do to fix it.
Seven types of “sorry”
The first step to breaking a habit is knowing when and how it comes up. Here are seven of the most common types of apologies I identified. The first and perhaps most common type of “sorry” is actually used to replace something else entirely. As you pass someone in the grocery aisle and you accidentally bump them with your elbow, you automatically say, “I’m sorry.” And they come back with a reassuring, “It’s OK” or “no problem.” We didn’t quite hear someone clearly, and we ask, “I’m sorry?” Sometimes we even replace a “hello” with an apology: “I’m sorry I’m a little late for dinner.”
Mind+Body/Spring 2014 51
Tips for handling confrontation Let’s take a look at some other ways to handle an uncomfortable conflict. Calm your physical symptoms: » Slow down your breathing Focus on your facial expressions – stay neutral » Take a seat to calm your nerves and look less aggressive » Unclench your teeth, fists or shoulders – relax the tension » Lower your voice Make concessions, but don’t overcompensate: When conflict comes up, sometimes our automatic reaction is to roll over and play dead. Some people just shut down to avoid the situation completely – don’t. Confrontation is a healthy part of any relationship. Engage with the other person by: » Listening to their position in its entirety » Speaking in a normal tone of voice – no baby talk, no yelling – something in between » Making compromises
“I’m sorry to interrupt” is one I noticed I use often. Here’s how this usually works: You need your boss to answer a question so you can finish what you’re working on for her, but you never can catch her without someone else in her office. You politely knock on her office door, but as you walk in, she’s in the middle of talking to someone else. You quickly blurt out, “I’m sorry to interrupt, but I just have a really quick question.” The disagreement. “I’m sorry, but I just don’t agree. I think ...” In the course of a discussion on politics, business or even day-to-day topics, we all run into differing opinions. But why do we apologize for disagreeing? Maybe we feel that prefacing our opinion with an apology may avoid upsetting the other person. “I’m sorry you were offended.” Here we have a classic nonapology. You aren’t sorry for your actions, but sorry for how the other person took what you said. Accepting no fault nulls the apology completely. You’re friend shares that she didn’t get the job she wanted. “I’m so sorry,” you say. We often use “I’m sorry” to express sympathy. Of course, it isn’t your fault she didn’t get the job, but you do regret that it happened. This type of apology is largely accepted within this context. The apology we really don’t mean at all. Your hubby is doing the dishes and you holler from the
couch, “I’m sorry I haven’t gotten to that yet. You don’t have to do it.” Or have you ever done this? You don’t want to go to a friend’s get-together tonight, so you text her, “I’m really sorry, but I can’t come because …” In either case, “sorry” isn’t what you are saying. And in a way, you are invalidating the other person through your apology. The true apology. A real apology, offered as an olive branch when we
Sometimes [girls] learn that all it takes is an apology to get out of trouble and maintain a ‘good girl’ image. That lesson sticks with them as they mature. have wronged another person, has the mark of sincerity. When I say or do something unnecessarily mean, offensive or aggressive toward someone else, I find that I have to sit down and think about how to make up for it – what to say to the person and even what to do to make it right. When someone gives a real apology, it implies that they regret having made the offense – they wish they hadn’t done it.
Why are we apologizing so much? During my short time of observation, there was a day I counted that I apologized 15 times – 15! Did I really do that many things wrong or offend 15 people that day? Of course not. So why couldn’t I stop myself from apologizing for nothing? In part, it’s a habit. Those little “I’m sorrys” muttered in place of “excuse me” or the “I’m sorry to bother you, but…” statements are reflexes. They come out before we even think about it. And because half of the people around us use “sorry” in this way, we continue to perpetuate the problem.
Is it our biology? A recent study found that while women did indeed apologize more than men, they also felt they did something wrong more often than men. The difference between the sexes came from the fact that men just didn’t think they offended as often. In turn, men also didn’t take offense as often. There are several theories as to why this discrepancy exists. Women are biologically wired to be empathetic. We are directly tied to our children – we are responsible 52 Mind+Body/Spring 2014
for caring for them from infancy. A mother has to anticipate the needs of her child without language. Thus, women have a more developed ability to read body language and empathize with others. In the same way, because women fall into this caregiver role with their children, they also tend to feel like it is somehow their fault when someone is unhappy. If my girlfriend is short and moody toward
me, I automatically think it must have been something I did, so I find myself searching for something to apologize for, when I could just ask her what is going on. It would save a lot of stress if I found out up front that she has a migraine rather than going through the day thinking I must have upset her.
Is history to blame? Our biology isn’t completely to blame here. In our time, women have greater equality than at any other time in history. In the past, women had very strictly defined roles within the household and within society as a whole. When sitting at the dinner table, women were not to interrupt – thus the need to apologize when they couldn’t help but interject. Within a political conversation, women were to follow the opinions of their fathers or husbands. In the home, women were supposed to care for the children and keep their husbands happy. If a patriarch was unhappy, dissatisfied or unsuccessful, his wife was to blame. Here’s a historical role that women have not so fully shrugged. Although it has been quite some time since women were expected to sit quietly and agree, it seems like we still hold on to the feeling that our thoughts and opinions are somehow less valid than others. Our sex has passed this down through generations. While we are slowly changing, many of our grandmothers and mothers still make it clear that we are responsible for keeping our husbands and our households happy. One more note on gender equality. Within American society and mainstream culture, women have made great strides. However, many cultures around the world still place
women within very strict roles – some even view women as secondrate citizens. These cultures are woven into American society. Many of these women still feel the twinge of inequality day to day, perpetuating gender roles and the need to apologize for pushing the boundaries.
Are we just maintaining a certain image? Another reason women may feel they need to apologize is to maintain a certain image. To simplify it, we want other people to like us. High school counselor Karen French says, “Apologizing is a learned behavior. It starts very young. Especially in adolescent years, girls learn from the response they get from things. Sometimes they learn that all it takes is an apology to get out of trouble and maintain a ‘good girl’ image. That lesson sticks with them as they mature.” As you mature, it might seem like the best way to get anywhere in life is to please other people. You’re more likely to get a promotion or get invited out if people view you as a nice, easygoing person. Think about this, though. If you are overly passive and apologetic, you may be seen as nice, but then again, you might just not be seen at all.
Are we trying to lay low at work? Especially within your career, it’s okay to make waves once in
a while. When you feel yourself finding a way to apologize for your work, think about why. Are you trying to lower the expectations? Are you afraid of failing? Do you have a problem with your confidence? Are you working in an oppressive environment? Get to the root of why you are apologizing and start trying not to – it’s not doing your image any favors. If you say to your teacher, boss or co-worker, “I’m sorry this took so long, but” or “I’m sorry if this isn’t quite what you were looking for,” you’re instantly setting the tone for whatever work you’ve done. It probably took so long because you worked hard and did a good job. And most likely, your boss doesn’t even know what they are looking for – that’s why they asked you to do it. By apologizing, you’re forming an image in their mind that you lack confidence and that you might not have a handle on what you are doing. In the end, you are actually hurting your image more than helping it. The next time you are up for a promotion, you don’t want your managers to say, “She’s a really nice person, but she lacks confidence.” Instead, aim for an image that says, “I have experience, I know what I’m doing and I’ll show you why and how.” No apologies here!
Make it stop Once aware of this habit, how do we stop – or should we stop? Some
Constructive criticism Criticism is an unavoidable part of our lives, but in recent years, our culture has become a “feel-good society” in many respects. For instance, every kid in the race gets a ribbon for participation. And as adults, we are afraid to upset other people. You might hear someone say, “She’s not catching on to the job, but let’s give her a chance. I don’t want to offend her.” While it’s not best practice to tear into someone with hostility, we should foster a competitive work environment through specific and constructive criticism. That’s the only way we improve and grow. Have feedback to give an employee? Let’s take a look at how to lessen the blow and get results.
The classic compliment sandwich: Give some thought to the person’s positive attributes. Start your feedback on a positive note, for example, “Jane, your work is always so thorough and detailed.” Then, “Do you think your thoroughness sometimes contributes to you missing deadlines, though? You might try scaling your projects down just a little to get them in on time.” End on a positive note, “Also, your ideas on that next project sound awesome. Come down and fill me in on your thoughts after lunch today.” Success – you gave concrete criticism without completely alienating your employee.
of the women I talked to in the course of writing this actually maintained that apologizing for the little things was a good habit to keep. “It’s just a way of being polite. No one thinks you are truly apologizing, just that you are being nice,” said one of my girlfriends. But regardless of what others think, what is this habit doing to us? We’re enacting a self-fulfilling prophecy. Constantly saying we’re sorry makes us actually start to feel sorry. By the end of the day, we’re left with a tightly wound ball of stress for no real reason. So let’s take a look at how to quit, how to start projecting confidence and feeling sure of ourselves. Here are a few ways to get started making a change. First, start small by fixing the kinds of apologies that are really said in place of other things. Say “excuse me” when you bump into someone or when you interrupt someone to interject. When you show up late for the party, give the hostess a hug and tell her, “I’m so glad I made it here to see you.” She’ll forget you were even late. Your honey is doing the dishes again tonight – all it takes is a simple, “thank you so much for doing those.” He’ll feel validated, and you won’t feel guilty. Once you’ve got this down, move on to some of the more complicated times you say sorry. Often, saying you are sorry is just a way to avoid confrontation. Within your relationships, both personal and professional, problem solve better ways to resolve conflict than offering an empty apology. When you disagree with someone, ask questions to better understand their point of view, and then ask if you can share your opinion, rather than apologizing for having a differing opinion. In some cases, you may just need to take your apology completely out of the picture, rather than replacing it with something else. This is especially true of the “celebrity apology.” Saying “I’m sorry you were offended” is really useless. These statements simply devalue your word – too many untrue apologies
and people will stop listening. You may be trying to smooth things over, but unless you are actually sorry for something you did, it’s better to let someone cool down over time than to give an empty apology. It will make things a little more difficult for you in the meantime, but you’ll avoid devaluing yourself. That way, when the time comes for you to offer a true apology, your words will be taken as sincere. The toughest types of apologies to eliminate from your life are the more complicated ones – those rooted in insecurity or guilt. For some women, it may not be as easy as simply being aware of what they are doing. They may have been raised in an environment where they were made to feel guilty or lesser. In these cases, psychotherapy may be the best option to help them move forward.
Your new life As I started to try cutting down on my empty apologies, I noticed a huge difference in how I felt. Even the little offhand “I’m sorry” was weighing me down. I noticed that my phone conversations with clients ended with them feeling more comfortable when I didn’t begin with, “I’m sorry to bother you.” And people at work started taking my suggestions more seriously. I’ve only been at it a few weeks, but I really feel like I come home less stressed. I have a couple of co-workers trying this with me, and they’re noticing the change as well. As for the differences noted between men and women in the study, the real discrepancy was in how often each felt an apology was needed. Men apologized just as often when they actually felt they had offended. Women, on the other hand, tended to think the apology was warranted more frequently. And maybe that isn’t such a bad thing. We should all tone down the unneeded apologies, but as women, we should still embrace our empathetic nature and take care to nurture our relationships through meaningful communication. Mind+Body/Spring 2014 53
The changing face of the
BABY RACE Story by Christa Novelli 54 Mind+Body/Winter 2014
*Name and identifying details changed to protect privacy.
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rowing up as the youngest child in a small, tight-knit Italian family, Maria Hannam of Loveland, Colorado always knew that she wanted to have children of her own. Felecia Daehling, also of Loveland, can’t recall a time when she didn’t want to be a mother, either. Yet, having witnessed her parents’ unhappy marriage and divorce in her childhood, she waited until she was in her mid-30s, with a stable relationship before she was ready to take that leap. Other women, such as Cheryl Larson* of Fort Collins, Colorado, never felt the desire to have children at all. A mere fifty years ago, options such as waiting to marry and procreate or choosing not to have children were not only atypical for women, but frowned upon by society. In 2014, however, all options are on the table.
The media has debated ad nauseam demographic shifts in the past five decades that have lead to fewer U.S. women choosing to marry and become mothers. Graphics show reduced fertility rates during periods of economic decline; journalists and political pundits alike express alarm at the effect on society of a shift in population toward more elderly members and fewer young workers to support them. What these conversations do not reveal, however, are the personal, social, and health impacts on individual women who have made the choice to focus on career, family, or in some cases, both. Prior to the 1960s, women’s career options were usually limited to the traditional roles of wife, mother, and, at times, helping professions such as teacher or nurse. Women married right out of high school or college, began having children soon thereafter, and typically did not work outside of the home. With the advent of feminism, women were told that they could “have it all” – high-powered careers as well as children and families. This led to a generation of burned-out women who tried not only to compete in what had been a man’s world, but who also continued to pick up the burden of many of *Name has been changed.
the home duties that they had held for generations. Today’s women are often more circumspect and realize that, to quote Oprah Winfrey, “you can have it all; just not all at once.” Changing gender roles impacted women born in the 1950s and early 1960s greatly. They were raised in an era when young women were groomed to be mothers and wives with little attention given to their career options. However, by the time they came of age in the 1970s, expectations had changed and they were often unprepared – educationally and emotionally – for the new responsibilities expected of them. Women born in the 1970s and beyond fared better. They were raised in a time when bright young girls grew up expecting to attend college to obtain a B.S. not a “Mrs.” However, even young women who were born in the past twenty or thirty years are not exempt from feelings of guilt at their inability to be June Cleaver. Even younger women often have role models, such as their grandmothers, who provided home-cooked meals for their families every day and who tended to their children’s needs without the need for childcare outside the home. It can be hard to let go of those role
models even if they are not realistic given our current circumstances. Although society has started to accept changing gender roles, our culture doesn’t change that fast. Women with children still face a bias in the work world. Even women without children seem to be penalized for simply being women – perhaps due to a subconscious expectation that women are more likely to prioritize home over work. A 2007 study at Cornell University involved thousands of phony resumes that were submitted for real jobs. Work and educational credentials of the fake candidates were equivalent, but personal details were not. Resumes and cover letters that indicated that the candidate was a male with children netted the most calls for interviews, followed by those for men and women without children. The bogus female candidates who indicated in their cover letters that they had children were, by far, the least likely to be granted interviews. The hiring managers who were later contacted confirmed the researchers’ hypothesis that women, especially women with children, were viewed as less likely to invest their energy in their work and, thus, be less desirable employees. On the home front, today’s men tend to be more likely to chip in with cooking, cleaning, and childcare than were men from generations past. The underlying belief system about these responsibilities in the home is not uniform across individuals, however. Regardless, as the Cornell study demonstrated, men’s careers do not suffer in the same way when they become fathers as women’s often do when they become mothers. Some women have attempted to side step this problem by establishing themselves in a career prior to marriage and children. This has led to a significant change in the average childbearing age in the U.S. over the past few decades. With a shift toward childbearing happening later, young mothers may now be the ones who feel out of step socially with their age peers. In 1970, the average age at which a woman had her first child was 21. By 2006, the average age of a new mother had increased to 25. For a college educated woman today, her first child is not born until she is 30, on average! In 2010, almost 40 percent of all babies born in the U.S were born to women over 30, and almost 15 percent were born to women who were 35 or older. From a biological standpoint, our bodies have Mind+Body/Winter 2014 55
not changed in the past fifty years. Younger women in their early 20s are still at an ideal age, from a health standpoint, to be bearing children. The risks of infertility, miscarriage, premature labor and delivery, stillbirth, and chromosomal 56 Mind+Body/Spring 2014
However, when Felecia went for her first ultrasound, they discovered that one of the two embryos had split into identical twins.
abnormalities increase as a woman moves into her 30s and beyond. Socially, however, older women often are better positioned – financially and in terms of emotional stability – to be having children. Advances in medicine, including fertility treatments and prenatal testing, have also led to women in their 30s and beyond having healthy pregnancies and children. Felecia Daehling is a perfect example of a local woman who waited until she was older to have children. Felecia’s home life as a child was tumultuous and she watched other family members marry young and struggle through difficult marriages. While she wanted a husband and children, these experiences “made me determined to find true compatibility in a mate, or to not marry at all.” If being a mother meant that her children had to experience growing up in a bad situation, she would have passed on having children even though she recalls feeling highly embarrassed at her 10-year high school reunion “that people thought there was something wrong with me since I had not ever decided to marry anyone I had dated, but was still waiting on Mr. Right.” Fortunately for Felecia, her soul mate came along. However, “when you meet your husband at 30 years of age, marry a month before you turn 32, wait two years before you start trying to have kids, then spend a year trying to become pregnant without any success…now you are 35 years old and seeking infertility options after only being married for three years.” Felecia had grown up feeling blessed to have a close relationship with her identical twin sister and knew that she not only wanted marriage but also more than one child so her child would have the opportunity to have a sibling – something neither of her parents had. However, life can always throw a wrench in the best-laid plans. Diagnosed with endometriosis in her late 20s, Felecia knew that
becoming pregnant might be a challenge. What she did not know was that the fertility assistance she wound up needing would lead to more children than she ever imagined herself having. Felecia’s first child, a healthy little girl, was born when she was 36 years old and with the assistance of in vitro fertilization using her and her husband’s own eggs and sperm. Knowing that she wanted a sibling for her daughter, she and her husband repeated the procedure two years later. Two of their embryos were implanted and both took. Twins it was! However, when Felecia went for her first ultrasound, they discovered that one of the two embryos had split into identical twins. Felecia was now expecting triplets! She gave birth via emergency c-section to three premature boys “six hours and forty-five minutes after I turned 39 years old.” Felecia had completed her Bachelor’s degree in Advertising and worked as a graphic designer in the IT field for five years before she met her husband. As the mother of four young children, continuing on that career path was no longer an option for her. She has let her career take a back seat – a trade-off she has willingly made because she cannot imagine looking back at her life when she is older and wishing that she had spent more time at work rather than with her children. Because of her good fortune and her financial stability with her husband, she is now able to work part-time as a secretary. Maria Hannam took a more traditional route of early marriage and motherhood – to an extent. While her first child was born when she was 23 years old, at 45, Maria is now the mother of five children ranging in age from 22 to five. The youngest child in her family growing up, Maria has always loved children, and especially babies. Maria began babysitting when she was about 11 years old and still keeps in contact with the many children she cared for over the years. Maria never intended to pursue a high powered career. She wanted to be a mother more than anything else. “I was just born with that desire. If I was never able to have kids, that would have seriously impacted me. Have them or adopt them, it didn’t matter. If I was never able to raise a child, there would have been a big hole in my heart.” Maria and her husband met in college, while she was pursuing a degree in Early Childhood Education with the intent of becoming a preschool teacher, and married
“She let him know that, if he wanted children, she “would understand if he wanted to move on and have a family with someone else...” soon after they graduated. Their first son was born less than a year after their wedding followed by three more sons and, finally, their youngest, a little girl whom they adopted. Throughout her journey towards parenthood, Maria had two miscarriages, as well as very difficult pregnancies with her boys. She and her husband had always planned on four children, but had to think hard about having more after the many difficulties she experienced maintaining her pregnancies. Ultimately, however, their desire to have a full house won out, and they decided to keep having children. Maria’s children grew up with dozens of different babies in the house as she began taking care of infants through a Cradle Care program – interim foster care for newborns whose mothers were considering placing them for adoption. In 2006, she switched to providing more traditional foster care for Larimer County. When they adopted their youngest daughter, a child who had come to them as a newborn through foster care, their boys were ecstatic – “you mean we get to keep one?” Although they now have more children than they had planned, their daughter seemed to be intended to be a part of the family. She looks like a miniature version of Maria and it was evident even as an infant that she was bonded as a member of the family. The only trade-offs that Maria feels that she has made for her large family are trade-offs for the children themselves. With five children and college expenses for the older ones, things like vacations to Disney World with the kids, or a honey-
moon in Hawaii are sacrifices the family has had to make. However, she has not felt that the inability to buy whatever she wants for herself is a trade-off at all. “If I didn’t have kids, I would be missing the kids more than the vacation. We’re not lavish, but we are comfortable. We’re not extravagant people. The trade off isn’t as high as it is for other people [who want material assets more].” Cheryl Larson, on the other hand, knew by the time that she was in high school that children were not in her future, a fact that she made clear to her husband when they were dating. She let him know that, if he wanted children, she “would understand if he wanted to move on and have a family with someone else,” an offer he, of course, did not take her up on. Cheryl grew up in a Catholic home where marriage and children were almost a foregone expectation. Despite that, she never felt pressure to have children. She suspects that her parents simply accepted that she was the most independent of their four daughters. Cheryl recalls her mother stating that she “always expected her to leave.” Cheryl did, in fact, turn out to be the one daughter who moved out of state and away from family. Both Cheryl and her husband are happy with the choice they made not to have children. It has freed them up to focus on things they want for themselves such travel, as well as affording them independence to experience more of life than just family. They do not need to rush home after work for children or focus all of their energy on someone else. “[When I am shopping], if I really want that shirt, I don’t have to feel guilty about spending money on myself.” As a healthcare professional, Cheryl also often sees patients consider the needs of their family members before their own desires when making choices about their treatment. She appreciates the fact that she is able, in most circumstances, to think primarily about what is best for her before worrying about how her choices would impact another. Ultimately, Cheryl realized early on that she enjoyed children only in “limited quantities” and that motherhood was not the only way to have a satisfying life as a woman. Fortunately, society is coming around to a place where it agrees with her. Women can find fulfillment in many ways and racing to get married and have children is not a race all women want to enter. Mind+Body/Spring 2014 57
the end with mike rickett
What men want...
and how to keep romance alive
A
By Mike Rickett
s with everything else, what men say and actually want is black and white… with 50 shades of gray. According to askmen.com, the top attractions for men are: moderate neuroticism, wearing red, .7 waist-to-hip ratio, large eyes and balanced mouth, bodily attractiveness, agreeableness and ability to empathize, she’s ovulating, self-sacrificing, appreciates you, and facial attractiveness. Sounds a lot like Barbie. Wait, isn’t she in the latest Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition? Coincidence? Now, for those men who want to understand women from a woman’s perspective, we go to, of course, an expert on women’s relationships, Alexandra Churchill of yourtango.com. According to her, the top dealmakers men want are: confidence, intelligence, non-materialistic, spontaneity, laid-back, playfulness, sensuality, honesty, independence and supportiveness. Not quite the same list. In fact, the only similarity is each list contained 10 items. Not too reassuring. What about a dating site like eHarmony.com? “Catch Him & Keep Him” author and eHarmony contributor Christian Carter reduces the equation to four things every man wants in a woman: playfulness, independence, emotional maturity and someone he’s attracted to. Not a bad summation, and it takes items derived from both lists. Maybe they have something… for a fee. I have found relationships are like a new Ferrari. Not that I have one, but at first, everything is flashy and perfect. As time passes, the car gets dinged, doesn’t run as well and has that mark on the
58 Mind+Body/Spring 2014
dash where you were doing something that you weren’t supposed to be doing, or better known as character. So, what do you do now? Start looking at the brochures for the new models, or do you invest the maintenance, upkeep and time to keep the one you have? The current models have the attraction you remember when your Ferrari was new, but as soon as you drive it off the lot, it depreciates, while the one you have, with proper care, is now worth more than it was new. Relationships are about growth, attraction, playfulness, compatibility, lifestyle and the ability to know when to give space or a hug. Living at the new car lot just confuses everyone, and eventually you cannot tell one from another. Take time to determine if your Ferrari is really a 4x4. Are you a high-maintenance model or an off-road, rugged type? Flash and dash come in many forms, so make sure you’re at the correct dealership. As crazy as this seems, many do more research looking for a new car than a life partner! Drive on!
Mind+Body/Spring 2014 59
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