Issue 11

Page 138

BROW BEAT Renewable you!

T

he new buzz words – renewable, sustainable and not forgetting; delectable are on the cards. What does this have to do with you, you may ask? Should you use these words to be politically correct, as it is after all voting season, or will it subtract a few kilograms that you have been trying to lose for so long and ensuring that it stays off? Neither here nor there, I suppose these words can be used interchangeably depending on where you find yourself. For example, when you are invited to a “green” event, where you have to display you’re environmental prowess, knowing the meaning of these words and speaking with confidence about the ozone layer, the greenhouse effects and the like may stand you in good stead for a follow up invitation. Using the same words, when describing the painstaking diet that you followed for more than 3 months may be an apt description and explanation of your motivation to starve yourself for “beauty” and health. No pain, no gain will be the order of the day! Let’s look at the lighter side of renewing

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Writer Brow Beat

yourself. Imagine the scenario: you are reaching your forties; wrinkles are threatening to appear in the most visible areas; the threat of contracting some of the life-long illnesses, such as diabetes, hypertension and others loom. You still want to appear sexy and desirable and want to avoid all of this. What do you do? Renewing yourself should have started at an earlier age. Your attempts are a little bit too late; be that as it may, let’s examine the eleven tips given by Mr Stay Young. 1 When middle age beckons, put if off by ignoring that it is coming; 2 If wrinkles appear on your face, wear a mask to camouflage it! 3 Look in the mirror on a daily basis and say, “I am young, I will not get older. Whoever says to the contrary obviously needs spectacles!” 4 In the event where you are forced to get spectacles, ensure that the lenses are rose coloured and that the frames are adorned with objects that will force people to admire your spectacles and not ask about your eyesight. 5 When visiting a doctor, explain that you like taking regular check-ups to confirm that you are still in good shape, don’t allow yourself to be told otherwise. 6 If asked

about your age, redirect the conversation and speak about your achievements. 7 The doctor diagnosis you with diabetes, explain to others that you are such a “sweet” person that the doctor wants you to tone down somehow. 8 Never allow yourself to be told that you are old or becoming older, if this should happen, break out in a rap song and show them how it’s done! 9 Make regular appearances at youth events and challenge them to an arm wrestling match. 10 Ensure that your circle of friends is kept abreast of your latest challenges and achievements and steer clear of discussing anything to do with age. 11 Allow for compliments on how you look and how toned you are, if you are not, ascribe it to your genes and the fact that you are on this earth for greater things. Renewing yourself is important in this day and age. Notwithstanding the “tips” above, one must make a concerted effort to constantly ensure that you are eating correctly and that you are following a routine exercise plan. This will ensure that you sustain long life and stay delectable for many years to come. Stay happy and renewable! Till Later!


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