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expressions will help you determine if bullying is occurring.

When you see or hear bullying...

• Announce that the bullying must stop.

• Intervene immediately. When you do nothing, you send the message that bullying is acceptable. If you ignore or minimize the problem, victims will not believe that adults understand or care or that they can help. If you don’t intervene, children won’t either. • Intervene even if you’re not sure it’s bullying. Observing children’s actions, words, body language, and facial

• Even if it’s not, aggressive behaviors need to be stopped. • Stand between or near the victim and the bully, separating them if necessary, so as to stop the bullying behaviors. • Describe the behavior you observed and why it is unacceptable. • Respond firmly and appropriately. Remain calm, but convey the seriousness of the situation.

• Get help if needed. If the bully is using physical force, or there is more than one bully, you may need to find another adult to help keep children safe and protect yourself. • Do not respond aggressively. Using aggressive behavior sends the wrong message that this is a good way to solve problems. It may also prompt a bully or a bystander to increase his or her bullying behavior or become aggressive toward you. • Avoid lecturing the bully in front of his or her peers. Your goal is to end the behavior, not humiliate or shame

the bully. Rather than serving as a deterrent, lecturing and scolding often provide the bully with attention that he or she finds rewarding.

BACKTOSCHOOL

Dr. Storey says there are patterns that start in the home that can lead to bullying elsewhere, but parents can the stop the behavior. “There’s a myth that there’s nothing you can do about bullying,” she says. “You have to be aware that kids are more vulnerable to bullying and parents need to take an active role in stopping it and teaching their children what to do if they witness it or are a victim of it.” For more information about how to stop bullying, visit eyesonbullying.org.

• Don’t impose immediate consequences. Allow yourself time to consider the incident and obtain any clarifying information—then decide the best course of action. • Don’t ask children to “work things out” for themselves. Bullying is different from an argument or conflict; it involves a power imbalance that requires adult intervention. • Give praise and show appreciation to helpful bystanders. Children who try to help the victim or stop the bully are key to bullying prevention. • Stick around. Remain in the area until you are sure the behavior has stopped. *Information courtesy of eyesonbullying.org. MaryJo Kurtz is a freelance multimedia journalist with work published in nearly 100 media outlets. She can be reached at kurtz.maryjo@gmail.com, maryjokurtz. com or Twitter @MaryJoKurtz. Editor Jennifer Lucarelli also contributed to this story.

Cambridge Friends School Educating independent thinkers for over 50 years, grades PK-8

Open House Saturday November 2, 2013 from 1:30-4 p.m.

A school should provide: The ingredients for leadership The inspiration for action A community of happiness

Does your school do this? Ours does. Cambridge Friends School, 5 Cadbury Road Cambridge, MA 02140 www.cfsmass.org • 617.354.3880 RSVP to cfsadmission@cfsmass.org BAYSTATEPARENT 41


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