SUBLIME. ONE OF THE MOST SHEERLY ENJOYABLE FILMS OF THE YEAR.
“
Whatever your spiritual beliefs, you will come out of it completely uplifted and revivified.”
– David Noh, FILM JOURNAL
YOUR RELIGION OR LACK OF ONE DOESN'T MATTER.
“
At some point while watching the film, you may feel that music is God, or if not, a close approximation of divinity.”
– Stephen Holden, THE NEW YORK TIMES
‘TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON’: Shia LaBeouf and Rosie HuntingtonWhiteley star.
■ moviereview ‘Transformers’ on auto-pilot Acting terrible, but visuals great. n Hardly a minute passes in “Transformers: Dark of the Moon” without something visually astonishing appearing on screen, and for that, we must give director Michael Bay his due. He’s always beating us over the head with robot battles, or Chicago getting trashed like a frat house during a kegger, or a Victoria’s Secret model playing Shia LaBeouf’s girlfriend (an upgrade on Megan Fox, if such things were thought possible), or classic cars, or the awe-inspiring Milwaukee Art Museum, or wing-suited paratroopers, or more giant robots fighting and knocking over skyscrapers — on it goes. It looks fantastic. Where you’ll find yourself hating it is in every line delivered by John Turturro, reprising his role as a Transformers-obsessed scientist, and by Frances McDormand, almost unbearable as a grating Secretary of Defense. That’s when you’ll realize, too, that you’re getting riled over clunktastic performances in what is in essence the fanciest toy commercial ever. We start with the premise that the entire Apollo space program was a cover to investigate an alien ship crash-landing on the back of the moon, so Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong are dispatched to beat the Ruskies to the alien paydirt. By this, the second “Transformers” sequel, the Autobots have saved Earth twice from the Decepticons and have been integrated into the U.S. government as some kind of stealthcar task force that rolls in and beats up bad guys. The investment and refinement in the Transformer effects — especially in, you know, transforming — have gone from quite good in the 2007 “Transformers” to virtually seamless in this third installment. Early on, when the Decepticons lure the Autobots into an ambush at Chernobyl, you’ll truly believe that enormous mecha-
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See page 9 Magnolia 1/6 Pg. (4.5”) x 3.8125” nized sandworm-octopus monsters are for contest gnashing through warehouses and fightARKANSAS TIMES information! ing sentient cars and trucks in the desolate WED: 7/06 Ukraine. Win a $50 Gift Certificate Anyway, the Autobots finally learn of arktimes.com/ just by checking-in at your the crashed ship — one of theirs, from ALL.RAS-A1.0706.ATEMAIL ben-e-keith favorite restaurants! eons ago — and head to the moon to pick AM AM ES ES up some gadgetry and an old Autobot. (Sentinel Prime, voiced by Leonard Nimoy, who, besides his “Star Trek” fame, will be recalled by nerds as Galvatron in the 1985 “Transformers: The Movie.”) Things don’t turn out as they’d hoped, and it appears the human species may soon be enslaved. LaBeouf, back (for a final time, he has said) as Sam Witwicky, struggles through a demeaning life not saving the world with the Transformers until he realizes that he needs to help the Transformers save the world again. His slimy boss is played by John Malkovich, his girlfriend Carly (yuk, yuk) is the constantly ogled Rosie Huntington-Whiteley and her slimy boss is Patrick Dempsey. Present-day The Sprinkler Smart program can help you save money, water and your landscape. Buzz Aldrin is played semi-convincingly Avoid watering between 5:30 am and 7:30 am. by present-day Buzz Aldrin. Learn more at www.carkw.com/or There’s plenty wrong with the script www.uaex.edu • 501-340-6650 (you can imagine its bard, Ehren Kruger, The Arkansas Cooperative Extension Service offers its programs to all eligible persons regardless of race, color, national origin, religion, gender, disability, exclaiming, “This thing writes itself!”) and marital or veteran status, or any other legally protected status, and is an Affirmative Action/Equal Opportunity Employer. with the overall toneSprinkler of the movie, which The Smart program can help you save money, water and University of Arkansas, U.S. Department of Agriculture, and County Governments Cooperating devolves into slapstick at the worst times: Avoid Avoid watering between 5:305:30 amam and 7:30 am. watering between and 7:30 am. right before (and even during) murders, for Learn more at www.carkw.com/or www.uaex.edu • 501-340-6650 instance. Surely some of the humor is there Learn more Extension at www.carkw.com/or The Arkansas Cooperative Service offers its programs to leaven a bleak storyline in what is ostento all eligible persons regardless of race, color, national origin, www.uaex.edu • 501-340-6650 sibly still a kids’ movie; the result is a beige The Sprinkler Smart program can help you save money, water religion, gender, disability, marital or veteran status, or and any your otherlandscape. emotional smoothie. This “Transformers” The Arkansas Cooperative Extension Service offers its programs to all eligible persons of race, Avoid watering between 5:30 am and 7:30regardless am. legally protected status, and is an Affirmative Action/ color, national orig installment reminds us that dying and digimarital or veteran status, or any other legallymore protected status, and is an Affirmative Action/Equal Opportunity Learn at www.carkw.com/or Equal Opportunity Employer. tizing the alien-robot takeover of the world www.uaex.edu •Agriculture, 501-340-6650 of Arkansas, U.S. Department and County Governments University of Arkansas, U.S. of Department of Agriculture, and Cooperating are easy; comedy is hard. If you can stom- University
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The Arkansas Cooperative Extension Service offers its programs to all eligible persons regardless of race, color, national origin, religion, gender, disability, ach fine actors slogging through leaden County Governments Cooperating marital or veteran status, or any other legally protected status, and is an Affirmative Action/Equal Opportunity Employer. performances, though, the indulgent specUniversity of Arkansas, U.S. Department of Agriculture, and County Governments Cooperating tacle in this sucker is so, so worth it. — Sam Eifling
www.arktimes.com • JULY 6, 2011 27