Untangling the Web II: A Research-Based Roadmap for Reform

Page 61

The Donaldson Adoption Institute | Untangling the Web II

The Internet has allowed me to feel more a part of a larger adoption community than I think would otherwise have been possible in my dayto-day life.”!

!“When I did my first 2 adoptions, I was isolated. After the internet

came, we could build connections with families all over the world. This was crucial as we moved through all the ages and stages with our children.”!

!Contact. The Internet enables ease of connection between birth family members and adoptive families. Parents spoke of the benefit of social media sites to quickly and regularly share updates and pictures. !

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“My daughter was able to connect with her birth family on her own at age 14 through Facebook. It was a big shock to her birth family at the time, but since then, they have an ongoing face-to-face and internet/ phone/texting relationship.”
 
 “Facebook allows me to stay connected to both of my children's birth families on a regular basis through private messaging and seeing each other's posts and photos regularly.”!

!“I have seen that it can be an incredible benefit in helping to maintain open international adoptions. I know a significant number of adoptive families who have frequent contact with their [internationally adopted] children's first families through email, FB, etc. The number is continuously growing.”!

!Several parents noted that the Internet affords ease of contact with others important to their children, including former foster parents and orphanage staff. ! ! “The ability to maintain contact with our child's foster family and to !

follow one another's lives in a way that feels organic and natural as a connected set of families rather than the forced and artificial means of sending letters through our agency.”!

A few parents felt the Internet and social media actually made relationships closer. The speed of information-sharing and the ability to share day-to-day activities, led to fuller integration of the two families.!

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“The community of support and concern that is created through blogs and online forums is a huge benefit. My daughter's birth mother and I both blog, and have co-written posts together. It has definitely strengthened our relationship to write together in a public forum where we can tell our individual stories and, collectively, the story of our daughter and the family we chose to create to love and care for her.”!

Other adoptive parents noted that the Internet enables them to be connected to birth families, but with separation or distance that feels protective – or that contact could encourage or protect birth family members.!

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“I probably would not have kept in contact with my children's birth

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