families & relationships
Getting through Valentine’s Day By Trip Woodard WNC Parent columnist
I always look forward to Valentine’s Day, the famous holiday in which we celebrate by shooting our Tommy guns in the air and shouting, “This is for Bugsie and youse guys from Al.” Imagine my surprise when I found out from some of my clients that this is considered to be some kind of “romantic holiday” apparently celebrated with cards and flowers. As usual, this is yet another testimony of power of the national greeting card companies to override the celebration of an important event in American history. (In case you didn’t know, members of Al Capone’s gang massa-
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cred remaining members of Bugs Moran’s gang on this date in Chicago, 1929. This resulted in public support to do something about organized crime.) I decided to research this greeting card/floral/candy-inspired holiday so I could write an article about its mental health implications. To make a long story short, Valentine’s Day was originally a religious holiday that had nothing to do with romantic love. It grew into the current “sweetheart emphasis” with mechanized card production in the 19th century. The contemporary celebration is not especially a mental health issue for a lot of people who are in meaningful relationships; but that is the problem. A growing population of Americans are living as single adults and see this holiday as a reminder of their loneliness. Not that people particularly complain about it. Many people just suck it up and
try their best to just go on with life and ignore their loneliness. But those of us in human service-oriented professions know better. We understand that there is a direct relationship between isolation and physical or mental illness. So, here are some suggestions to use this day to fight the war on loneliness: » Do enjoy celebrating your romantic relationship if you have one, and try not to ignore those around you who don’t. If there is a friend, relative or neighbor who is spending this time alone, spread a little joy in their life and send them a card to let them know you are thinking of them. » Keep in mind people who have lost loved ones to death within the past two years. It is always easy to comfort and remember people during their recent experience with death, but it is holidays like this that can uniquely trigger a most painful grief. A word of con-
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