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the type of intervention required, if any, in order to ensure the safety of the child, such as counseling, parenting classes, in-home support, assistance with basic needs and emergency/foster care. In most reported cases, children are not taken out of the home. “We don’t want people to try to figure out what to do themselves,” Saunooke says. “Report (any suspicions of abuse and/or neglect) and let us decide what to do, based on state law,” she says.
Parent tips to prevent abuse
“Open communication and truly listening to a child instead of just talking goes a long way, so that children feel that they can come to their parents with anything they feel uneasy about,” says McGuire. Make sure your kids know they can trust you about anything and have a variety of other trusted adults that they can go to as well, adds Heather Path, counselor at Vance Elementary School in Asheville. Teach them to trust their
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own “gut feelings” if something doesn’t feel right, she adds. Talk to kids about the consequences of (and monitor) online and cellphone communication — for example, kids might not realize that sending a picture that is sexual in nature can be made public, sending the wrong message and leading to possible abuse, McGuire says. “Be vigilant — with activities and sports, find out what the policies are regarding one-on-one time with children,” he says. “Know the adults your kids are spending time with and be sure that they’re good role models,” he adds. “While you’re in the car, review what-if scenarios in a nonthreatening way,” Connor suggests. Intervene if you see another parent who seems to be abusing a child, McGuire says. “For example, if a parent is yanking a child by the arm, try to diffuse the situation by saying something like ‘It’s tough to take kids to the store’ or ‘What a pretty dress she has on,’ to get the parent to cool down,” he adds. If necessary, contact the police. If you have a stressed-out friend or neighbor, offer to help out, he adds. Teach children that they have control
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of their own body and the right to body privacy, says Connor. If a child is uncomfortable kissing or hugging, even with family, for example, don’t force them to do so, she adds. Find out what and how your child is learning at school that relates to child abuse, as part of the state’s health curriculum, and follow up with discussions at home, says Connor, who teaches personal safety classes in local elementary schools. “It may be difficult for some kids to focus on what’s being taught at school, especially (alongside) their peers, so it’s important to talk with your kids at home,” says Connor. Don’t ever shake a baby or a child under 6, says Saunooke. Don’t physically fight in front of kids or verbally abuse each other, she adds. If you feel pressured or angry and think you may physically or verbally abuse your child, take a break, count to 10, and/or place your child in a time out. For parenting assistance, call 2-1-1 or a nearby community resource center, Saunooke adds, or contact CAPS at 2542000. “Parenting is hard,” says Connor. “Ask for help if you need it.”