Growing Without Schooling 68 by Patrick Farenga

GROWING WITHOUT SCHOOLING 68 Adolescence has a terrible reputation, and teenagers know it. 'When I turned 13,'write s Vita Wallace, "the thing that I worried about most was that I I would suddenly be considered a confused and frivolous teenager.' 'There is a popular belief,'echoes Anna-Llsa Cox, "that teenagers are anfl-soclal creah tures for whom'responsibility'ls a dirty word.'Worse, teenagers are not only supposed to behave mlserably, they are supposed to feel miserable as well. "It's a dilllcult time," adults traditionally sigh. Maybe lt is. Maybe there are thlngs about lt that will be dilllcult no matter what anyone does. But what comes through so clearly ln the teenagers'wrltlng ln this lssue of GWS is that adolescence doesn't have to be as bad as we assume. The teenagers who wrote for this lssue were asked to answer the question, "What do you want from adults?,' and ifs hard to read their responses without feeling that they deserye to get what they're asking for. "Respect,' they say, over and over again. 'Civility.'And, perhaps most important, adults who will help them find ways to do the work, the activities, that they are dlscovering they want to do. The lnteresting thing about these partlcular teenagers, all of whom have spent some time homeschooling and many of whom have never been to school at all, ls that the storles they tell here are more often than not about getting what they want from adults. They may know that they can't count on this from everyone, and they may have had frustrating experiences as well (some of which they do descrlbe here), but they are also able to give example after example of adults talcing them seriously and helptng them to do what they want to do. Carey Newman's parents helped her get permission to have a show of her wildlife sketches at a nearby gallery. Emma Roberts finds that the adults in her communit5r theatre group treat her like a serious professional. Chelsea Chapman has an adult friend who was willing to help herwrite a play. And so on. Somehow these young people are finding ways to overcome adolescence's negailve reputation and to get what they need from the adult world. What's striking about the examples the writers give in these pages, when set against the conventional view of teenagers, is that instead of wanting a separate youth culture, these young people want to be let in to the world of adults. They want to work with adults, to hear what older people have to say as long as they're also allowed to form their own opinions and make their own x

Anna-Lisa Cox (rlg!t) ls among the tcenagers who wrlte for this issue's Focus, 'What Teenagers Want From Adults," pages lg-22.

INSIDE THIS ISSUE: NEWS &REPORTS p.2-3

THE REI,ATIONSHIP BETWEEN LEARNINGAND TEACHING p. 3-a CHALLENGES& CONCERNS p. 5-6

Irarning Not to Push, The Tlouble r{/ith Socialization, How To Make Latin Relevant HOWADULTS LEARN p. 7 FINDING & MAKING COMMUNITY p.8-e WATCHING CHILDREN LEARN p.9-13, p.28-29 Reading, Music, Play, Research

Papers, Making Connections, Recovering Enthusiasm

FOCUS: WFIAT TEENAGERS WANT FROM ADULTS p. re-22 TEENS DOING REALWORK p. 2223

CHILDREN IN THE WORKPI..A.CE p.23-24 Family Store, John Holt on Exploltation

HOW FAMILIES MAKE DECISIONS: TWO DISCUSSIONS p.24-26 RESOURCES & RECOMMEN.

DATIONS p.27-2a

mistakes. Does the fact that these teenagers aren't in school explain why they would rather be part of the world at large than part of some separate teenage world? Some might say it does, because school is where the youth culture flourishes. But I think we have to look further and ask why it is that teenagers in convenUonal high schools seem more likely to be drawn to a separate youth culture and alienated from the adult world. I submit that it's because that separate culture ls too often the only one available to teenagers in school. We deny them meanlngful access to the adult world and then wonder why they seem so bitter and resentful toward it. What teenagers need - if I can presume to speak for them br a moment - is adults who can say, 'This is adulthood, and lt's pretty good, so come on along.' Many of the teenagers who wrote for this issue seem to have such adults in thetr lives, and we ought to think about how to make that possible for other teenagers as well. The teenagers ln this issue, without consciously intending to, manage to present a vivid picture of what homeschooled teenagers are doing, and of what adolescence can be for teenagers who are able to explore the wider world and flnd out how theywant to fit lnto it - teenagers, in other words, who are allowed to get right to some of the important tasks of growing up without having to worry about grades, school assignments, popularity, and so on. These accounts should lnspire younger readers who may see possibilities for themselves in them, and older readers who will, after they've finished with this issue of GWS, have no excuse for not giving teenagers the respect, and the kind of help, that they so clearly say they want. Susannah Sheffer

who would like to put them in copies of L

John Holt's books tn your local library.

Also, we noflce that qulte a few local newsletters are sdll uslng our old address, a Please do us the favor of reminding the person in charge ofyour local newsletter

about thls. Another simple way that you can help

a us is by sending us narnes of pediatricians, h dentists, etc. to whom we mlght send sample issues of GWS. We're thtnklng that,

particularly

Lauren Farenga counts catalogs during our fall

bulkmailing.

OFFICE NEWS & ANNOUNCEMENTS ISS:I Since our last lssue went to press, Pat Farenga testiffed as an expert witness at Clonlara's trial in Michigan. The trial resulted in a victory for Clonlara and for homeschoolers in Mlchigan, as

you'll see in the story at the right. An article I wrote for the American *hycr;,l Boord Jownal called "What Schools Can karn from Homeschoolers,' is scheduled to run in their May issue, I'm told, so those of you who read that publication can watch for it. I hope it will be useful to some of you who are dealing with school ollicials, as it also suggests some ways in which schools can help homeschoolers. I spoke for a while with a writer from U.S. Nenrs &WorldReport, who was doing a story on the learning disability label ("Iabeling Away Problem Kids," in the March 13, 1989 issue). She asked forthe name of a family who had challenged the LD label, and I thought of the Smeltzers, who had testified in behalf of the Pennsylvania homeschooling bill. I was happy to see the Smeltzers Gatured in the final article. tater I talked to Gerald Coles, author ol The IEamW Mystf,que {now available from us in paperback), who had also spoken with that reporter. He said that as he travels around the countr5r promoting his book he hears many stories of children who are sullering under the LD label. The problem is indeed an urgent one; we hear many of those stories here, too. We want to thank the many volunteers who have given us important help in recent weeks. David Swank, Don Stevens, Maqr Steele, and Mohammed Fajd helped us get out a bulk mailing, Nancy Fiero helped us update our karning Materials List, Loretta Heuer sent out our renewal remlnders (which she has been doing for several months), Peggr and Emma Roberts spent a day in the ollice helplng with all sorts of tasks. Yaron Goldman, who traveled from lllinois last year to spend a week volunteerlng with us, dectded to return and bring his whole family with him, and they were all a big help. Our postal forwarding order will expire in a few months, and we want to update our address in as many places as Possible before this happens. We will send labels with our new address to any of you

ln smaller communities,

some of these doctors mlg;ht subscribe to the magazine and add tt to those in their waiting rooms. When you send us the narnes, let us know whether it's OK to mention you by name ln the cover letter

that we'll include with the sample lssue. Many of you have waited very patiently for How Children Learnto become available again. It's here at last, at $9.95 plus postage (item #358). The publlshers have also reprinted TeachYour Our4 so we have plengr ofthose on hand (#752, $l 1.95 plus postage). Also, we have about two dozen used copies of Wtwth I Do Mondag - not enough to list the book in our catalog, but

enough to make lt worthwhile to offer them to GWS readers. We are selling them for $6 plus postage (item #833), and will pay $4 ln credit for any copies, tn good condition, that you can condnue to send us,

NEWS & REPORTS about btlls dealing with truancy, lncludlng one that defines a truant as a child

VICTORY IN MICHIGAN On Februar5r 14, JudgeThomas Brown

ruled in favor of Clonlara Home Based EducaHon Program in the suit that Clonlara had brought agalnst the Michigan Department of Education. The ruling means that the Department of Education can no longer use the proc-edures (regulations) goveming home education that it had established in 1986. Some background: In early October of 1986, the Department and Board ofEducation adopted what they called 'Nonpublic School and Home School Compliance Procedures. " These procedures required homeschooling parents to use a state certiffed teacher daily for l8O days ofthe year, and to keep the teacher's c.ertificate and other information on lile with the

Intermediate School Distrtct. Shortly thereafter Clonlara, and one ofits parents, Iiled suit against the state in Circuit Court. They received a preliminary inJunction against the state's procedures,

limited to Clonlara families. The preliminary injunction meant that the procedures with which Clonlara

families had to comply were modified: the teacher no longer had to be physically present, and could be used for a minimum of two hours a year. But Clonlara still found the procedures vague and violative of parents' rights tn practic.e - home schools were being held to standards and

requirements more restrictive than those for any other nonpublic school - so they returned to court to seek a Permanent inJunction. Judge Brown's February l4th ruling granted it to them, declaring that "the procedures are tllegal and without basls in statute." He ordered the Department of Education to develop new procedures and to submit them to hlm for approval. At GWS's press time, then, Michigan is without argr homeschool rcgulations, and Clonlara and the state's homeschooling parents are waiting to see what new procedures the Department will submit.

who "mlsses more than l5 days a Year without a certi{icate from a licensed physician statlng that... the child was unable to attend school for medical reasons,' according to the March/April issue of Hearthtates, the newsletter of the CONNECTICUT HOMESCHOOLERS ASSOCIATION. Malne: On December 2O, the Matne Supreme Court ruled unanimously that the state's homeschooling reguladons are constitutlonal, according to the December issue of the RetI4AINEing at Home newsletter. The case was an appeal by the Blount

farnily, who had attempted to homeschool under the state's guidelines for nonapproved private schools, rather than under those for homeschooling. The Blounts argued that they were a legitimate private school under the state's regulatlons, but the court agreed with the state's claim that the family ought to follow the homeschooling regulations instead.

North DaLota: On FebruarY 2O, over sixtJr national and state homeschool leaders, and four to Iive hundred homeschool advocates, rallied in protest of the state's trâ&#x201A;Źatment of homeschoolers, according to a press release from the NORTH DAKOTA HOMESCHOOL ASSOCTATION. Several cases involving homeschooling families are pending in North Dakota courts. Reverend Clinton Birst of NDHSA told us that several recent events fueled the protest "... One family was fined four thousand dol-lars, children were forced on

the stand as state's evidence, the Department of Human Services threatened to block an adoption of a homeschooling family whtch was charged with dePrivaUon ofeducatton (court evidence showed, how-ever, that the child in question was well educated), and a homeschooled child was being denied the opportunity to parIn the state spelling bee.' ticipate Wisconeln: The legislature passed a truancy law which requires counties to establish local ordinances regarding truancy, according to the Febmary issue of

the WSCONSIN PARENTS ASSOCIATION

OTHER STATE NEWS For addresses oistate ard'I@aI organizations, see GWS #66 or or.r

Honvschrcltng Resource List" olsilable Jor $2.

Connccticut: Homeschoolers attended an Educational Committee hearing on February 6th to learn more

newsletter. WPA adrrises parents to check see whether a pardcular county's truancy procedures allect homeschooled children. WPA also adds that although statutes say that attendance officers do not have the authority to check the attendance of homeschooled students not enrolled in the local school

with local public oflicials to

GROWING WITHOI..N SCHOOLING #68

district, they may request attendance information from homeschooling parents ifthey have r€ason to suspect truancy (truancy from the home school, ln ofher

words).

STUDY OF SOCIAL

INVOLVEMENT From the results oJ a sfudg on lomeschoolhg by Susan V. Grrrl.r;r, a graduate

student at the Unhprsity of Georgta. .iru.oIDW a sanple o1 fuLq *:meschmlers h. Georgln (ile studg's JuU dtle Ls, "Fan&g Erultrcrvrent and Amhd.es oJ

Homeschmbrs

and Non-lamesclwl-

ers"):

The homeschoolers were divtded tnto three groups according to the reasons they gave for decidlng to homeschool their children... those who gave academic reasons only (Group A), beltefs/values reasons only (Group B), or both academic and beliefs reasons (Group AB). The fourth comparison group (Group PS) was comprised of famtltes r,ecommended by homeschoolers who sent thelr chtldnen to public schools lnstead of teactrtng them at home. ...No signlflcant dlfferences were found between the four groups in any areas

of social relatlonships. Fa..nts

w.ri

shown to be equally tnvolved in their

cornrnunlties, Children's soclal ir:rvolvement, measured by the number of groups the child belongs io, was very sim'ilar'

among groups. No dilferences were found

ln the amount of the child's peer lnterac-

the middle of the school year (to go to school in Israel, and then to travel in Europe) with no objections from anyone at the school.

We have had an interesting experience rvlth grm. Yaron did not like the compulsory shower after class, so we didn't send him to grm ln swenth grade. When the S/m teacher dlscovered why Yaron wasn't corning to $rm, he told him that he didn't have to take the shower, and that he reallvwould like hlm to come back - which he

happily did.

As Yaron ls now ln eighth grade, I was a bit worried about having to start all over with the htgh school. As lt tumed out, all It took to get the same kind of cooperation was one short phone call to the princlpal. It seems that once you get into the system It is easier to deal with other schools. An interesting aspect ofour arrangement with the schools ls how much evervone involved enjoys iL Yaron goes only [o classes of his choice. and therefore has a gyeat time; his teachers are thrilled to have a student that is reallv interested and enthusiasdc; and I love being able to

provide him with enriching actlvities

within walldng distance.

This point was really brought home recently when Yaron called the Science and Industrial Technologr head at the high school to ffnd out what level science

class he should enroll ln. and whether he needed to take all the prerequisite courses for electronics. After a live minute conversafion, the man told Yaron that he should take the most advanced science course, and that he would waive the numerous prerequisites for both that and electronlcs, since Yaron obviously already knew the stull Nobody tested him or questioned hls abilides because thev were so impressed with his tnteresi and enthusiasm.

CALENDAR Mav 5-7. 1989: California Coalition

of People for Alternative L€arning Situations (CC-PALS) annual state conference

in San Luis Obispo. For informatlon, send SASE to: Laurel Stephens/CC-PAI5, PO Box 456, San Luis Obispo CA 93406. June lO-l l: Clonlara Home Based

Education Program Conference in Plymouth, Michigan. Pat Farenga and Susannah Sheffer (and many others) will lead workshops. For lnformaflon: Clon-

lara,3l3-769-4515.

We are happy to run announcements

of maJor homeschooling and related wents, butwe need plenty of notice.

Deadline for GWS #69 (wents inJuly or later) is May lO. Deadline for GWS #7O (events ln September or later) is July lO.

THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN LEARNING AND TEACHING

tions, which was measured bv the number

offriends they have and houioften they get together inside and outslde the home.

AIso interesdng, Jrom elsewhere in

the results oJthe stttdg:

Public school parents allowed much more televislon viewing than all homeschoolers, 2996 ofwhom had no TV in

their homes.

COOPERATIVE SCHOOL Ilanrr Gold.man

[II) writes:

When we took Yaron out of school in fifth grade, the one acdvtgr he was sorry to mlss was band. We approached the ele-

pentary school teacher about the possibility of Yaron's taking Just a few classes

at the school. He seemed offended and three,t-eled !y the tdea of homeschooling, and doubdul of our abtllty to teach yaron, saying things ltke, 'lt's already August and you don't have a currlculum yet?' He added that he "didn't have the manpower to supervlse Yaron's corntng and golng.' The next year we decided to give the idea another try, this tlme at the juntor

hlgh. Ready for a maJor confrontation, we went lnto the principal's ollice, and voilal He thought lturas a great ldea. Durlng Yaron's years at the Junlor high we have constantly found the school personnel cooperadve, flextble, and understanding of our speclal sltuation. For instance, when Yaron did not like the art class he was taking, he simply pulled out in the middle of the semester without anv problems. He also took two montlis off in

In GWS *64, Narcg Wdloce wrote her daughter Vita gblttg uiolin lessons to a six-Aear-old. trierd naned Jrlstiru Noru Nancy writes:

abut

Surprtstngly, slnce Vlta ls a viollnist and pianist but not, like her brother Ishmael, a @mposer, her violin lessons with Justin have gradually turned into composition lessons. Sometimes Vita and Justin don't play at all, but every week he brings in a fresh page of sheet music, lovingly notated in blue and red ink. One day, when they were still dutifully going throug;h the llrst Suzulii violin book piece by piece, Justin arrived at a lesson and announced, "I can read musict' And he could. His mother had shown him that the printed notes on a page symbolized actual pltches that he could make on his violin, and she had pointed out that by memorlzing the location of just one note on the stalf - in thls case lt was the A on the second space up - he could ffgure out the rest ofthe notes by lnterval. This knowledge seemed to give Justin an incredible sense of power. He no longer had to wait for people to teach him songs. He soon realized, though, that there was more to music-reading than just llguring out the notes that the composer wanted htm to play. The next week he asked Vita plaintively, "How come when I play the right notes the piece STII L doesn't sound the way I know it should?' 'Well," she

satd, with more honest5r than diplomacy, "You are going to have to play the proper rhythms as well." Like many children who learn to read words by wridng them, Justin apparently

GROWING WITIIOUT SCHOOLING #68

needed to write music down in order to really understand it. He began writing notes, as lf that was the only way that he could clariff for himself the dilferent rhythmic quandties that notes represent.

The act of writing them down set them

Ilrmly in his mind, more lirmly than any teacher could have instilled them in him with the usual method of making him clap out rhythms. After that, every time he learned a new technique on the violin he asked Vita to write it. Seeing how it looked on the page invariably helped him to play it. Justin was now writing page after page of music, and yet in his own mind, and certainly in Vita s, he was still a violtnist - a violinist busily learning as much as he could about how to read music. Perhaps Justin trusted all along that Vita would be able to teach him the things he felt he needed to know in order to become a composer. Maybe that's why, after the iniUal excitement over notereading wore off, he sdll patiently unpacked his violin and played for her each week, even thoughwe could all sense that he was ttchlng for something else to happen. But what? Justin didn't seem to GROWING WITt{OttT SCHOOUNG #68. Vol. 12 No. 2. ISSN #0745-53o5. Published bi-monthly by Holt Associates, 2269 Masachusctts Avenue, Carnbrtdge MA O2l 4o. $2O / yr. Date of lssue: April I , 1 989 . Second-class postage paid at Boston. MA. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to GWS. 2269 Massachus€tts Avenue, Cambrldge MA O2l4O. ADVERTISERS: Deadlines are the lSth of odd-

nurnbered months. Contact Patrick Farenga for rates.

4 know, and for several agonlzing weeks lt seemed as tf all he could do was wait, and keep asking his questlons, until he was conscious enough of what he really wanted to be able to ask Vita for it ln words, The problem for Vlta, though, was that more often than not Jusdn's questions secmed more llke symptoms of frustration than anythtng else. I sometimes wondered if his questlons weren't simply a stalltng tactlc, a way to avold telling Vita that he had lost lnterest tn the

violin altogether. Vita offered no theories of her own, but she was obvlously troubled

by the way thlngs were gotng. Yet when, as so often happened, Justin set down his violin ln the middle of playing a piece to ask Vita how to write stems on quarter notes, she always told him immediately. Neither Vita nor Jusdn realized why he was more interested in stemming notes than in playing nice pieces. Vita worried that she wasn't giving Justin what he really needed, and I know she worried that one day he might simply stop coming to lessons, Fortunately, she kept answering Justin's questions the mlnute he asked

them, even when that meant interrupting the muslc they were playing. Justin kept coming, and one day he brought the beginnings of a real piece to a lesson. After that, he arrived each week with new drafts and new additions. Rather than interrupting the main buslness of the lesson - violin the piece seemed to complement it since, in a way, it renewed Justln's lnterest in playing. The piece was like a Journal of everything Vita was teaching him to play, and in order to develop more ldeas for the piece he played more.

It certainly wasn't the typically tuneful piece that you would expect a child to write. There's no way you can hum it the way you might hum "Mary Had a Little I^a.mb." There are no real melodies in the piece at all, perhaps because Justin was

primarily concerned with explorlng all of the technical possibilities of violin playing and notaflon, Sometimes, watching this young boy hand Vita the latest addition to his piece, I was tempted to wonder if he was concerned with

anything begond constructlng a random hodegpodge of technicd 'fireworks." But each week JusUn made lt clear that he had definite ideas about where he wanted the piece to go and how he wanted it to sound. "Play that,' he often said to Vita as he

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set his music on the stand. When she did, he mtght then single out a measure and

say, "But I meant it to slow down there." 'Oh,' she'd say. "Shall we add a

ritard?"

"Yes,' he'd say. "How do you write it?"

Fhis is a ktd, I kept remlndlng myself,

who can barely readl)

It never once occurred to Vita to doubt the legittmacy of Jusdn's lnterest ln or abili$ for composlng, and I think she

wen stopped noflcing when he forgot to unpack hts vlolin at lessons. Yet lt was almost without thinking that she flnally

put a label on what he was dolng. "Did you oompose more dudng this week?' she asked one day as he walked ln the door. Impercepdbly, over the past weeks, Jus$n had pgain taken control o[ the lessons. His mind no longer seemed to wander, he no

longer ltched with obvlous frustration.

And yet it seemed to me that it was only when he heard the word "compose' ascribed to his week's work that he (and Vita) finally became conscious of the change that had taken place. Where another teacher might have been disappointed because Justin now openly preferred wrtttng muslc to playrng it, Vita wasn't disappointed at all. She had been willing to live wlth confusion and

frustration rather than doubt him, but now she was simply relieved that he was so clear about the work he wanted to do and the ways in which she could help.

[8] I responded: Your story says so much about

learning and teaching, and, interestingly, about their interdependence. In the traditional teaching model, the whole question of whether Justin was there to learn to play the violin or to write music would have been in an important sense up to Vlta. If she saw herself as a violin teacher only, she might not have had the interest or the patlence to wait out the

gradual but significant shift tn Justln's priorities. She might well have said, "I offered to teach vlolin; if you want something else, you'll have to look elsewhere for it." I don't think she would

necessarily have been to blame if she had said this - we can't make people teach what they don't want to teach any more than we can make people learn what they don't want to learn. But it would have made things dlfferent for Justin. If, on the other hand, Vita had been willing to teach Justin whatever he wanted to learn, but had been too uncomfortable during the period of ambiguity and frustration to allow it to resolve itself by itself, she rnight have Jumped in and decided to teach composition before Justin was sure that that was what he was asking of her. "Justin's interest ln the violin is flagging," she might have thought to herself. "I'll have to do something to keep him interested in lessons." Neither of these things are what happened, and I'm thtnking of yet a third thing that might have happened but didn't. Justin mtght have dectded to go it

completely alone, thinking to himself that Vtta was no longer givtng him exactly what he wanted (even if he couldn't yet articulate what he did want). He might have stopped taking lessons soon after he

began to feel vaguely dissatisfled, and then - well. I don't know what would have happened then. Certainly he might have figured out, at some time and in some way, that composldon was what he really wanted to do. But what fascinates me, ln your story, ls howJustin was able to ligure this out urith Vita's help. I'm lnterested in how their stlcklng together through thts somewhat confused ttme helped Jusdn discover what he most wanted from Vlta, and Vita dlscover how she could best give

tt to hlm.

People often ask me whether selfdirected learntng puts teachers out of business. What tt does is radically change what that business is. Ftgurtng out how you can be most helpful to learners who are at the same time liguring out what they want to learn and howyou can help them is not the sarne as deciding what you will teach and then teaching lt. But it is not rcth@, either. This is what I'm really trying to say, that Vita was part of Jusfln's process ofdiscovery ln a hundred ways, most of which we'll probably never hxow. Just as I was thinking about all of this, a letter arrived from Klm Kopel, one of the young writers I've been working with. She says so well how self-dlrected learners can make use of teachers that I have to quote from her letten

"I used to feel that I had to work and work on a piece and perfect it as best I could before I sent it to you, so you wouldn't have to make many suggesdons for changes or revisions, because I found it hard to get usd to someone criticizing my work, and so I felt that if I made it perfect enough it wouldn't have to be revtsed. I felt that having someone else suggest changes, rerrlsions, etc. made the work less origlnal, less mine. Now I realize that having someone do thts offers me more possibilities and freedom than ever could have been available ifI did not have a teacher. ".., I think there was a tlme when I was focusing more on what you would thlnk of what I'd written than really worklng on saying what I meant or what I wanted to sav. Now I revise and am critical of mv orin work as I used to be, but it's very hard to be your own most critical criticl You are very sharp, and don't miss anything, so I can count on you to show me all the thtngs I missed - this could make me lary, but I'll be careful. You really keep me on my toes I have to be ready to gfve account for and explain my thoughts and ideas for everything I write. I think this has made me a

more careful writer. I work harder to make sure I'm saying exactly what I mean, that it's perfectly clear, that I'm to the point and don't wander... Before, I looked at making revisions and changes as some-

thing that needed to be done before whatever I'd written was 'linished,' but now I e4jog ttre process of it, as much as I enJoy writing the first draft. "

What Kim has learned fully enough to be able to describe, and

whatJustin has

leamed more unconsclously, is how to involve other people in work that is very definitely their own. I can't think of a more important skill for a young Person, or any person, to have.

GROWING WITFIOTJT SCHOOLINC #68

CHALLENGES & CONCERNS other ways for him to practice hts writing.

LEARNING NOT TO PUSH S<rndt

He wants to do a speclal proJect - I have

Hall wrote In tle <Ianuoty lssrrc

him make the list of supplies. Or tf hls younger sister asks how to form a letter Kyle ls very proud of the fact that he can help.

oj the Homeschoolers' Volcre, a Washing-

ton newsletten

I should know better. I am the homeschool advocate who has told hundreds

new and old homeschoolers that they

He also loves sclence so we dld some obseryatlon and classlficatton of different

types oftrees on our propert5r. I suggested that he wrtte down the full name of the tree and I would ltst lrts obsenradons. He thought thatwas greatbecause he knows

shouldn't push thetr chtldren... So why dtd I start demanding that my 7 year old, I(yle, sit down every day and urrlte every letter ofthe alphabet? It all began when we were at a family reunlon and my S-year-old nephew began to wrlte his alphabet. My mlnd began to

that paper work is important for scientists keeping track of their findings.

THE TROUBLE WITH SOCIALIZATION

race -'What lf they asked my son to do thts?' I knew he could handle most of the letters but only ln the upper case. His young cousln was uslng both. When we got in the car and headed for home I asked Kyle to wrtte hls alphabet for me. He seemd to panlc, clatmlng that he dldn t know them all. I said I Just wanted to see the ones he did lorow and that wav I would know whilch ones to help hfm wilh when we got home. He did greatl He would slng the alphabet song over and over to get the letters. I smiled as I listened to his, ".A,8,C,D... A,B,C,D,E... A,8,C,D,8,F..." At about M or N he shouted excitedly, "I DO know theml' and conflnued to Z wtth much more enthusiasm. When he proudly fanded it to me (apologizlng for the wlggly lines because Daddy was drivfurg over too many bumps) I saw that he dld tndeed know how to write his alphabet and only three of the letters were rerrersed. Not bad,

Paula Htldreth wrcte in tlte WbXer o;[ Pennsylvania Homeschool-

J989 tssue

Slnce we moved from the countr5r to a nelghborhood nine months ogo, I have been the unwilling recipient of many lessons on the negative aspects of socialization. We'd always lived in the country, and our children had much more llmited con-

tact with other kids than most children

do. They saw children every week at church, and some ofJessica's clubs and lessons included other children, Of course,

we always had other children 'shipped tn' from tlme to time, but there were no

regular

I thought. The next day I contlnued with my effort to get Kyle to practicâ&#x201A;Ź hls letters. Once through and I d read him hls favorite book. With a stgh he complted. On about the third or fourth day his sighs became

Iouder and longer. He made statements like, 'I'm not ready to learn this. I planned on walting until I vras 8 to leam this. I feel like I'm ln school.' I lectured him on the need to know how to rvrite now because he was going to be with other 7 year olds who could write. Mywise son then told me, 'But Mom, not everybody learns the same thlngs at the same time." I thought about thls all eventng and discussed the issue with my husband. He was as wise as his son and pointed out that Kyle was simply repeattng what he had heard me say over and over again, I thought about serreral fi:iends who talked about their sons and daughters who waited lrndl age 9 orlo to read and write. I might have to put up wlth some ratsed eyebrows from famtly and friends, but I decided Kyle was going to keep hls excltement over

pla5rmates.

This could have been a flasco, slnce our children are all three years apart. But our children enJoyed each other tn spite of the age difference, and from the ftrst they played well and happtly together. In fact, from the time Daniel (now 6) was l, he and Jessica (now 9) were so tight that they could spend a whole day together in tntense little projects and playings. When other ctrlldren came over, all the children that were present were involved ln the play, so that lf Jessica had some girls over, Daniel was accepted as part ofthe group, and vice versa. Thls ls not to sav that there weren't quarrels and problems-from dme to tlme, because there werel But for the most part our children were close and

lovtng friends.

When we moved to this nelghborhood, things began slowly to change. There was only one other little boy Daniel's age, but

there were a few girls that came within Jesslca's age range. Jessica began to spend some Ume wlth one of the glrls ln pardcular. At llrst there seemed to be no negatlve effect on her. Slowly, over dme, though, I began to see her change. First ofall, Danlel was no longer allowed to Join tn the play when Jesslca was with Debbie. Now, I know that Jessica and Daniel are not an tnseparable patr, and I really do want each of them to form thelr own friendships. But they went from belng friends to being enernies, and I was sad to see lt happen. Secondly, I saw Jessica try to act more and more like her new friends. She began to walk and laugh like one of her friends, and wanted to spend all her time with them. The situation reached its worst this sutruner, when the neighborhood lidds were out of school. Apparently the other kids were allowed to run free all summer, with no restricdons: I think some of the kids left their houses after brealdast and didn't come home until dark. Thts Just isn't the wzry we run our family, though. Jessica began to balk at practiclng the piano every day (no one else had to do anything like thatl, and even resented spending dme with us. Since she wouldn't play with Daniel anymorer he began to be an active, hardworking'pest.' He sald he hated girls, and tried to intermpt their play and "spy" on them. I guess lt was the only way he had to lnteract with Jesslca

anymore. What's funny about all of ttris (in a sad kind of way) is that I strongly suspect that most educators would have been much happier with Jesslca's socialization whtle all this was going on. After all, she was interacting often with her peer group, maldng new friends, and isn't that what socialization is all about? Isn't it great when our kids can fit in? It was a series of incidents that turned this whole situation around. F)rst of all, Jessica was at the neighborhood playground one day, and she witnessed a little

girl being made fun of and attacked in a terrible way. Jessica was the only one there who didn't know the little girl - the child's best friend was there, and even she turned on her - and Jesslca was the onlv one who stood up for her. She was terfiUty shaken by this event, Iinding it hard to

clo'-;,Lo.rzo,

Home Based Education Prograrn ,

learnlng.

The next day I told Kyle he was right. I should not be forcing trlm to leam something he did not feel ready for. I gave him an old workbook on the alphabet and said it was his to use as he wanted. If he wanted any help from me I would be ready today or next year, but it was his choice. TMce that day he picked up the rvorkbook and began working away, telling me his plans for how much he would complete each day. I also make spectal elforts to find

GROWING WITHOLN SCHOOLING #68

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6 believe that people could be so crr.el. But as much as this hurt Jesslca's heart, her

who you really are, and being able to meet

ing.

A GROUP DOESN'T GUARAN. TEE FRIENDS

friends thought nothing of it, and I think this is what really started .Jessica thlnk-

Other things began to happen: during the past six months, Jessica has seen big

kids bully and threaten little ldds, little kids hit big kids over the head with mallets, one of her friends being ldcked in the mouth, and then thrown to the floor, by her mother, children purposely destroying toys that belonged to someone else, and a little 8-year-old gfrl who told her frlends at a slumber party that she thought no one loved her and that she was gotng to go into the kitchen and kill herself with the knives. I guess after seeing and heartng all these things, JessicaJust got a belly full. She began gradually to distance herself from some of these chlldren, and to spend more time with Daniel agaln. I've watched this happen with relief, and knew we were back on the right track when Jessica began to tell children who came to the door that she was busy playing with her brother right now, thank you - maybe she would play with them tomorrow. She does still play with neighborhood glrls, but not very often, and when she does, I've noticed that Daniel is often included in the play. And backing away from these children has not left a void in her life. She is back into her projects, practicing piano more often, and above all she seems to be part of

the family again. I'll admit that I tried my best to police

the situation with the neighborhood kids when it was at its worst. Jessica wasn't allowed to run all day with the rest of them, and I curtailed the tlme she spent with them. But with all the rules I imposd, and all the ways I tried to circumvent some ofthe'bad influences," Jessica was the one who had to decide whether or not she wanted to be Just like these other girls. I'm $ad she decided she wanted to be herself and not one of the crowd. I'm also happy that she is able to play with other children from time to time without feeling that they have to take over her life and her actions. She seems to have struck a happy balance, all by herself. She's able to play with them and have a gr€at time when she wants to, but she has a clear ldea of who she is, and has no problem with telling other children, "Sorry, not now, I'm busy." And this, I believe, is what healthy socialization is all about not having to fit into the crowd, but havtng a deep sense of

CORRECTION A sentence in Jan Hunt's "Achieving A Critical Number of Supporters" (Focus on Chil&en's Rights, GWS #66) was printed incorrectly. The sentence should read: 'There is, of coursg no way to know what the critical number of humans must be for a new awareness of chil&en's rights to take hold; the implication from this hundredth monkey'phenomenon is that the number does zatneed to be large." We apologize for the error.

others at that level.

F)om Dale Vostltsanos [C[): Every so often, a par€nt asks in the pages of GWS, 'Why ts tt so hard to find friends that are as nlce as my ldds? Why do we have to choose between unsatisfac-

about the word roots I know, when lt comes up (1.e. when she asks what somethlng means). This is actually how the whole idea to learn Latin originated. Do you have any suggestions about how to help a 7 year old explore this? lSSl

tory peer relatlonshlps and utter loneliness?'As we wander about ln our unsettled Me, havtng lots of lovely experiences and meedng wonderful people,

other thing I have done is casually talk

but

rernaining outside of any stable comnunity, it's an issue I think about a lot. Sara (1O) is an only child, wlth no lirst cousins in this hemisphere (nor indeed aunts and uncles except on flying visits) and we're not in one place long enougfr to enroll her in a class or group activity. She's stuck with me - even her dad ls seldom around for more than one month in six (he's in the merchant marines). She's thrown back on her own resources (good), but by circumstances, not choice (not so good). Fortunately, I spent a great deal of time at the school she once attended, and was able to observe her unnoticed at odd moments ofher school days. Yes, she sometimes longs now for a close and proper friend who's available to play, but that small ache is nothing compared to the pain of the loneliness she felt in the midst of all those kids. She wanted to play kickball, or search about for toads, and the other girls only wanted to try out Madonna's latest number, and those fboys) who were pla5dng ballgames were concerned first and foremost with the professional rules for the game, and didn't have the slightest idea of what a "friendly pick-up game'might be. Besides, Sara appeared to be the only chtld in the playground who'd been ralsed as a nonsexist, and the lines of demarcation there were firmly tn place. When I would look out of the window of the classroom I was in I'd see her, leaning face downward on a swing, staring at the mud and her own two feet, unable to lind anyone who gave a damn about just having fun - and the truly upsetting thing for me was that, until I was physically at the school all day and could see her misery, she never mentioned it, more than saying that she didn't enjoy school and the kids were OK but didn't seem to ever have any ideas of things to do. She assumed (quite rightly, I'm afraid) that that was Just the way school was. It was nothing worth remarking on.

HOW TO MAKE LATIN RELEVANT Patti Pitcher NVN turites: Becca is a very wond-oriented person and is fascinated by the idea that our words come from other words. She has repeatedly expressed an interest in learning l-atin. I feel kind of indmtdated by this for a couple ofreasons: l) I don't know any Latin at all; 2) I don't really know of any ways to make it relevant. We have read quite a bit of Roman mythologr and Roman civillzailon books to her but other than that I am kind of stumped. The only

responde&

I can see that lt is a blt overwhelming to thtnk of helping Becca learn latln when you don't know tt at all yourself. But the two of you can leam it together. Katherine McAlpine, who wrote about a good series of l,atin books in GWS #65, is learning Iatin alongside her son Nathaniel. Kids often like leamlng something with their parents, because it puts both ofyou on the same level - it's a change from Mom being the one with all the answers. About making it relevant - I'm tempted to ask you to think about what you me€rn by this, for this reason: if Becca is "very word-oriented," "has repeatedly expressed an interest in learning Ladn," and you've already read quite a bit of Roman mythologr {which I'm assuming she found interesting, from the way you tell i$, why do you think you have to do anything special to make Latin relevant? If by relevant you mean relevant to Becca. it sounds ts if it already is. Why start out thinking that you're going to have to work to make it interesting when youVe just told me that it is connected to other things that Becca is thinktng about and that she is already interested in learning if? I say all this so emphatically because I fear that we tend to think in terms of selling things to children - 'How can I make math interesting, how can I make Latin relevant, how can I dress spelling in

pretty clothing?" I'm inclined to think, either tt ls interesting, all by itself, or it

lsn't.

Now, of course ifs not quite that simple. What is interesting to one person may not be interesting to another, and what is not interesdng at one time may become interesting later. And, too, a boring or badly-conceived book or lecture can (though not always) dampen our

initial interest in something. But I think

that many of us come from a way of thinking that supposes that traditional school subJects are inherently boring, and that we have to do something special to make them lnterestlng. What this mlsses is the fact that Latin (or math or reading orwhatever) ls not onlg a school subJect. It's also part of human history and experience, and there's no reason to start out by giving lt a handicap, so to speak. No reason to start out by thinking ofhow to sweeten it up. If Becca has said that she's interested ln learning it, it seems to me thatyour attitude should be, "Great, I can see why you would be interested in that, let's see what we c:ul do about it." I think you have a sense ofthis already, becauseyou talk about her fascinatlon with words and how thts led to curiosit5r about Latin. So ifs really a rnatter of trusting [.atin, in addition to trusting Becca. Of course, as I said earlier, some l.atin books may be better than others, and you can use the recommendations ln GWS (#62, #65) to help you investigate some ofthe better ones.

GROW]NG WITHOLN SCHOOLING #68

HOWADULTS LEARN TEACHING THEMSELVES TO WRME Pan GUVald (CN urttes: I was luclry enough to discover at an early age that I only learn things when I write them down. Sttting through a lecture at school, I found that the information went in one ear and out the other. Reading and visual aids help me somewhat, but the real magic for me ls when I physically write out what I want to remember. Just the sheer act of writing it apparently tmprints it on my mind. Sometimes, back in elementaqr school, I would copy whole passages out of the book tf I was having trouble rememberlng things. Because of my need to wrlte things down, I have spent most of my Me pen in hand. Perhaps ifs not stmnge that I have always had the desire to become a profes-

sional author. The last thirteen years of my life have been totally devoted to mothering. Between home births and the rrddwifery movement, long-term nursing and La kche kague, and sevenyears of homeschooling, there has not been enough time to pursue my goals. But now that my kids are getting older and I'm begnntng to get serious about what I'm golng to do with the rest of my life, I know I want to see if I can succeed at my long-held ambition.

In spite of my strong feelings about wanting and needing to write, I am not particularly gifted at wridng. Although I make lists, write myself reminders, and write letters to around twent5r-live penpals, writing does not c.ome easily to me. I struggle with organization, long-windedness, gfanmâ&#x201A;Źrr and clear imagery. I can have a perfectly clear thought that comes out sounding terribly garbled on paper. I know I need to learn how to write better. but I don't thlnk I need anyone to teach me how to write. I contemplated Joining a creative utriting class, ls1 the thought of

writing exercises and tuming them in for

off If I spend my time wriilng, I want tt to be the real thing, not practlcc : whlch ls e;ractly how my son Jeremtah felt when he was younger and why we started the Honeschders Jor Peoce newsletter. One of the hardest things ts having to be my own boss. Again I can empathize with my kids - they always have a hard time getting down to work when there's no one hovering over them saying, 'Do it NOW.' I have research to do, proposals to write, deadlines to meet. and there's no one to make sure I get lt done except me. It's so easy to push tt tnto the background and do the things that my famtly are always asking me to do for them. Just sticking to it is a struggle for me, So here I am, plungtng lnto the competitive wrlters' market, teaching myself step by step along the way, collecting rejection slips. I'm ftnally homeschoollng myself, which is even more rewarding than homeschooling my kids. When I confessed to our Independent Study teacher that my ldds haven't been doing much schoolwork lately because I've been researchlng and writlng, she sura grade rea.lly turned me

prised me by sairng that was grâ&#x201A;Źatl 'Most

Idds think educadon ls unlmportant because thry don't see thelr parents usirpt theirs,' she lnformed me. 'Having them see you learning is an educaUon ln itself.' Fhis from a public school teacherl)

And Jrom Mary-George Snnorutch

(CA):

There are times when I flnd that I am quite naturally sharing my work wtth my ctdldren, my work as an asplring writer, that is. I often read my writlng aloud, for I Iind it an irrvaluable tool for identi-Sing awkward phrasing and rhythm. If the

children happen to be near, they listen, and sometimes have useful comments to make. Erin (8) ts working on two novels one is science fiction, the other contemPorary adventure - and she is very interested in the revision process, which ls what I am involved in now as I work on my own series of novels (mine are historical). Erin has demonstrated that she is developing an excellent ear for written language, and she sometimes catches my mistakes before I do. She sees me working, rewriting, improving, becorning frustrated, and always, always perslsting. And when I take her suggestions for improvement, she learns tre value of constructive criticism and how to olfer it and take it herself.

CHILDREN BBCOME INTER. ESTED Barbara Nielson oJ Vennont wrxes:

I felt I really had to respond to Paula Hildreth's letter in GWS #67 ['Mother Wants Time for Herselfl. I also have three children and a home that seems to need cleaning all the time. I think you have to develop priorides, and on my list housework comes at the very bottom - I Just deal with the necessities. I also let everyone help out, and lf my daughters' bedroom is not cleaned upJust the way I like it, I do my best to tgnore lt. At least they did it. I am ffnally maldng tlme for myself in our busy household schedule. I write, play the piano (l'm Just a begfnner), or do a craft. I also belong to a communit5r chorus that meets one evening a week. One important thing has happened since I started to take this time for my interests: my children have become tnterested in them too. My 4 year old now plays the piano and has expressed an interest in lessons. My 9 year old started writing more stories and really working on them, after I shared one of mine with her. They see that these things are important to me and so they take a new look at them.

MAKING SPACE Flom Ruth Matilsky; One dillicult thing in homeschooling is making space for me. About a month ago I went to a yoga ashram ALL BY VIYSELF. For one week I slept alone, had meals prepared for me, and did yoga three times a day. My husband, Terry, was on winter break and stayed with the kids. It

GROWING WITHOUT SCHOOLING #68

was hard to leave. The older kids were not happy about it and I knew Laura (the younges) would llnd it difncult. But it had to be done. It was wonderful. Re-entering the family was roc\r because Terry was totally exhausted. l.aura had slept badly and been an all-around di{Iicult person to cope with. And she remained diflicult for a fewweeks. But because of the kind of vacation it was (meditatlng, yoga, long walks in the woods, macrobiotic food), the effects have been long-lasting enough to be worth it. I came back refreshed, with a new commitment to dolng yoga each day. Now when I wake up in the moming I go lnto a room by myself and spend forty-{ive mlnutes doing yoga. This sets the pace for the rest of the day. So I feel great, and want to let You know how important GWS is in tying us homeschoolers around the country together.

PAINFUL SCHOOL MEMORIES

More Jrom Dale Vostitsatas:

GWS readers sometimes remark that those of us who did well in school suffered (usually unlorowingly) at the hands of a system that singled us out for all the wrong things, and held us uP as good examplesJust because we happened to do well in test situations. That was the case with me - I was the best in my class all through elementa4r school, found tests eniovable, and retained much with minietro.t. Consequently, I never learned -il how to really work at something, was often given privileges I felt I didn't really deserye, or delegated an authority that was bound to bring out resentment ln mY classmates, and then, had the system clobber me whenever I showed any initiative. In sixth grade, we were told to memorize any poem for recitatlon. I loved poetry and had come across a volume of Longfellow at home, so I chose 'The Village Blacksmith.' What a challengel And yet I loved doing it, and was ready on the assigned day. But my teacher stopped me mid-starrza, yelled at me in front of the class, saying it was an inappropriate selection for sixth grade, and assigned me a moronic ten-liner to recite after school the next day, or I'd flunk. She found ways of 'getting back at me' undl the year ended - ways that had a serious and longlasting effect on my school career. The higher the grade level, the more narrowminded and Jealous of any lmagined threat to their authority the teachers were, with few exceptions. My daughter Sara's attitude toward schoolwork was never what mine had been - she was openly and adamently selfdirected from the start, and never Glt that the teacher's opinion of what was imPortant should supersde her own.

Is GWS - and its back issues - in your

library? Consider giving it as a gift, or telling your librarian about us.

FINDING AND MAKING COMMUNITY ACTIVE SUPPORT GROUP More Jrcm Ruth Matilskg: As time goes on I flnd myself more committed to homeschooling as a way of life. It seems more and more bizarre [o send children olf to school. At the same

time I am aware of the pressures and stresses on folks who choose to do this unusual thing tn mainstream America. We are fortunate tn that we live ten minutes away Aom a very acdve food mop that has a storefront ln a building that is owned by the co-op, We do vlrtually all our food shopptreg there, and through tt we have met many homeschooltng friends

and sympathlzers. By writing arficles

about homeschooling for the co-op newsletter I've been able to get in touch with other homeschoolers. and nowwe have an active support group that meets each week. There are five families who come each week and a few others who Join us from time to time. This is Just the right number because it is large enough that there is a variety of people and not so large that it

becomes unwleldy, Because our support group members live in the same general area, and because most ofus shop at the co-op we see each other frequently, Some of the mothers swap child care and one mother has an arts and crafts class that she holds everv other week. The children feel a true sen6e of community because they see each other in so many dillerent situations. This is my 9-year-old daughter Sara's sixth year skating and she is starting to do jumps and spins. The neat thing about this is that skating is something we can all do together. I love watching Sara teaching her younger sister the marching step on the ice, and it's really exciting when she tries to teach me toJump. I am a competent skater, but she is doingihings I have always been afraid to try, Thls year all of the people in our support group are beginnlng to Join our family at the ice skating rink. It's interesting to watch the children relate to the other skaters. The morning is such a relaxeid time because there are so few people, so it is easy to get to know the regulars. One 7year-old girl in our group has struck up a relationship with a man who has been teaching her how to do some intricate figure skating. One of my children, who has been going to the rink since infancy, feels as comfortable there as in his own home and has gotten to know the adults well. They skate with him and enjoy talking to him. I am forever getting comments on how bright these homeschooled children are and I must admit I am usuallv surprised that people are so impressed because all the children are doing ls carrying on a conversation.

GROUP FOR OLDER KIDS Moira Nobles (CN rurcte in January: About six months ago we started a weekly group for the older children in the SPICE support group in Sacramento. We have varied religlous afliliations, and the

group was to be for ldds ten and older. Of course the stblings were lnvlted also. We started meeflng at each other's houses, but found that difncult as the group got blgger. We now meet in a commuof a library in the Sacramento

lly"..**

At first, there was verv little structure, and we found that the group needed more. One mother ts gutdtng discusslon groups for the older ldds and the younger kids (8-lO) uslng the Junior Great Books series. Another mother attended a seminar given by a local newspaper and is now guiding the two groups through activides related to newspapers. I will be organizirlg group sports. Another mother is taking care of field trlps. We have to drive 3O-4O miles to attend these activities but I enioy the other mothers and my kids enloy being with so many other homeschooled chtldren, so it is worth the time and effort lt takes to get there.

LOTS OF HOMESCHOOLERS Eileen Perkins (IIT) wrltzs:

ln our two- to three-block neighborhood, there are three families homeschooling all their children, and two with just one child at home, Through their own choice. most of these children are best friends. It has been fun with our Brownie troop, too, this year - half the troop are homeschoolers.

trlng to stay underground, but lt can be done. If you're not worried you can say

somethlng llke, 'Parents and kids lnter-

ested ln homeschoollng - meet at _ Park on Wednesday lO AM. Bring a lunch." Or you could use words like 'alternatlve education' or "GWS' or Uohn Holt.' Homeschoolers wtll get your meaning right away, but no one else will. Then take your lidds to the parkl 3. Look tn the NCFIA News for your County Contact person. lf there isn't one for your county, become one. You can list your name and phone number and thus become accesslble to others in your com-

munity.

4. Put up NCFIA and GWS flyers in

your library, and at your local park, market, etc. Write'l-ocal Contact' on them with your name and phone number. 5. Listyour name in the GWS Directory. I'm always poring over the names and addresses from Northern Califomia to see ifthere's anyone nearby; I know everyone else must do that too. You can also list yourself as a count5r support grouP. 6. There are a few places you can call

to lind out if they know of any homeschoolers. If there's a local midwife and/ or I-a l,eche kague, they are great contacts. Many people who have their babies at home and get into League keep their kids out of school. A group in our town, 'Childcare Resources and Referral,' has me listed as a homeschool support group in case anyone ever calls to ask them about

homeschooling.

HOW NEW HOMESCHOOLERS CAN FIND OTHERS Pan Gingold wrcte in tle Februarg/

March issue oJ tlv NOR-IITERN CAUrcR-

CHOOSING COMMUNAL

LIVING Rose Oliura o;[ Missoun writes:

NIA HOMF,SCH@L AS9OCIATION Neu.rs; When we movd to this rural area live years ago we found lt very dilficult to plug into the homeschool grapevlne. In a communitSr where houses are scattered all over the woods and folk have independent attitudes, it seemed impossible. Needing to keep a low prolile because the authorities didn't know we were homeschooling added to the problem. What could I do? Ifuock on doors? CaIl my way through the phone book? Ask at the School District oflice? AII unreasonable, but we were feelingl so lonely that I was getting desperate. Finally I ligured that the only thing I could do was to make it possible for other homeschoolers to find me. Here are a few things I carne up with that may be of help to others: l. Buy a copy of TeachYour Ounby John Holt for your local library. Print on the inside cover, 'Donated by," and your name and phone number. Anyone reading that book will be interested in where the library got it and whether anything is happening locally. Do the same for a

subscription to Growing Wfttaut Schoolfng (or NCHA News) and be sure to write your nzune and phone number on every issue.

2. Put an ad in your local paper. This may take a little creativity if you are

This is in response to the many letters

I've read in GWS concemlng parents having enough time to themselves while homeschooling and also providing varied

adult and child contacts for their children.

After having my daughter at home for while I began to feel uneasy about our being so focused on each other and in each other's presence constantly. And I like to work and have interests of my own. I didn't want to battle with her over our needs. During this time my mate and I were considering communa-l living as a means to a more ecologically and economically sound life. We don't have a large extended family and have u'anted one. So we researchd it and eventually moved to a community in the Ozarks called East Wind. This communlty is a group ofdiverse people trying to be equals. As luck would have it another homeschooling family had arrived a few a

months before we did. They have a daughter the same age as ours. Together we are recreating space and resources for the children (at one point the communi$l ran a school for older children, so they have a lot of materials and a large library). The children in East Wind have their own building where they live and play. There are alwavs committed adults there.

GROWING WITHOTI SCHOOLING #68

I A certain amount of the time I spend with my chlldren ls funded by the communtt5r meaning lt ls consldered part of the total work I do eachweek. For us thls ls, for the most part, working beaudfully. Since we all work on the farm my daughter can be wtth me or the Iifty-ftve other adults atJust about any time. Most of the folks are more than willing to share their work and play with the children. My daughter doesn't just get my viewpoint; she can get lots of others' and sort it all out. I am notJust homeschooling; I have my own work and interests and more free flme because we share the chores. Most of the children in the community are under 3, but there are some folks who live in the area who visit, and numerous others who come from farther away, so the older klds have occaslonal other

playmates.

This way of Me has met many of our needs. If anyone would like more lnformation, write to: Federadon of Egalitarian

Communities, East Wtnd Community, TecumsehMO 6576o.

AN EFFECTIVE SPACE

In response to our discussion o.but

conulltnilg spcrces irr Gl,t4S #62 and. #64, JuttaMasonoJTorcnta sent us acopg oJa paper sle wrcte called. 'An Open Letter: On tIE reedJor unprqranned cotrartotr space Jor

Janllies.fn Toronto: Tte a commons." fume eraerpts:

recreation oJ

Familles ln Toronto need communitv spaces, but have none. They have munici--

pal sports/crafts centres, but no corunon space where the people of the communi$r can come and be together in order to see one another, talk together, and meet new people, in an unprog5ammed way. They have no commons, no town square, where

all kinds of lnteresting and surprising

things may happen but where no one ls exhorting them to shop, to pray, to read, to write examinaflons, to exercise, or to move along.

I would ltke to tell the story of a group of families who have been working ai re-creadng a commons for themselves and their neighbours at the Wallace-Emerson Communit5r Centre. Every Thursday, from Just before lunch until the middle of the afternoon, there is a'scene'happening at Wallace-Emerson. This scene began four years ago when a Gw friends resolved to find an indoor park where their small children could run and play freely in cold weather, and where both adults and children could meet with their friends - and make new friends. Wallace-Emerson gave them a permtt to use the grmnasium. The "lndoor park" was always open to anyone, and the number of people who came lncreased week by week. In lts second year

this purposely non-programmed time

period was accepted as one of the things offered by the centre and listed ln the

schedule as "creative play.' Between one and two hundred adults and children come to Wallace-Emerson on Thursdays now. They spill out of the grm into otJrer parts of the centr€. Some years mothers have gone up to the wood-shop

with their children, to hammer and saw. Plays have been put on, seasonal festivals

c€nducted, music groups have sprungup... The ldea of such an unprogrammed, unmanaged happening has been hard for the centre stalT to accept. The WallaceEmerson Centre is run on a schedule wlth certain definlte prograrns, usually from one to two hours long. At the end ofeach program, the participants are expected to leave, unless they are Joining ln another prografiL.. It is common for a person moving through the centre to be blocked by locked doors and to have to make one or more detours to get where they want to go. Every stalT member carries a key rtng with many keys. One of the games which persons using the centr€ are obliged to play ls 'hunt the stall" - cruise the corrldors to try to ftnd someone to unlock a door. This repeated experience does not make a person feel welcome. Where do families and children feel welcome? If they want to visit with one another, talk, laugh, kick a ball around, nurse their babies together, meet other families, where can they go? Llbraries are for books, and noise ls discouraged. At shopping malls the space is organized for shopping, with eating areas designed for

ellicient refueling. Government buildings are built for ollices and elevators. Chur-

ches are organized for worship and activities of ttre congregation. Parks are more flexible - but ln rain, wlnd, cold and snow, they have no warrn shelter (why not?). Schools are for classrmms, with some organized special events, but only for the families of children enrolled there. And 'communitlr centres' are mainly for sports and crafts programs. They are stalled by persons who have come through a recreation training course based on the idea that recreation is a special area of expertise, which must be packaged and administered to 'users' in preplanned, carefully managd programs... Community life can grow, by itself, unplanned, when it is not smothered by ollicial constraints. One example of spontaneous growth is the Thursday lndoor park at Wallace-Emerson. During the four years of its existence, many of the same people have come back year after year. New babies have been born to some of the families, and their growing up has been noted and admired, People who have moved away or whose are now in "hildr.n school come in when thev're in the area to

report on their lives to their community centre friends... Over the years it has gradually

become harder and harder to get people to leave in the middle of the afternoon... This is a pmblem. At 4:0O the [centre'sl first scheduled program begins in the grm... The children who have been there all

afternoon stand on the sidelines watching. Sometimes they try to lmltate the actions of the gmnasts - or perhaps they Just continue with their own game, moving it to the other end of the grm. The blurring of the limits between programs has been disturbing to the stalf.. After repeated exhortations to the families to leave the grm at the specilled time - they try to get going, but they always backslide - the shlf have recognized that the removal of the communit5r from the centre is a management problem and can be accomplished using appropriate strategies. At flve minutes to three, the

GROWING WITHOLTT SCHOOLING #68

staiTarrive, ask the children in the gynr to move off to the area around the eating tables, and, by means of a key, lower the

metal barriers that separate the grm from the ldtchen and entrance corridor... The message is clear, and is finally received... The communit5l has been successfully removed. When spontaneous communit5r life does get going - when the commons begins to come back into existence - it is alwavs in danger of being ruled out of order. Unmanaged communit5r space is theoretically an admirable thing, but from a management point of view, a pain in the neck... If the spontaneous creailon of a common space by families - and by cigarette-smoking, card-pla5ring grandfathers and tudtchy teenagers - is seen as vital to the

building of a functioning communit5r

where people can come to know their neighbors, then a highly programmed centre can be seen as an obstacle to community life in the city...

Jutta Mason add.s in her Letter to us: About fifteen or sixteen homeschool-

ing families now use this "indoor park' and we form the core ofwhat goes on there. I have read with interest Susannah's thoughts on revitalizing museums and other public spaces [GWS #59, #641. Families who don't send their children to school have a much gr€ater interest and stake in building community life, and therefore we are potentially an important resource to our faltering neighborhoods. The sequel to my Open [.etter, unexpectedly, was a call from the director of

our municipal Department of Recreation to ask whether he could send copies of the

letter to all twen$-five comrnunit5r centres in Toronto as a "shining example" of the direction that those centres could take. Our own centre has offered us a full-time stalf/resource person, more flexibility of time, and more space (this is all free, i.e. paid for by our taxes). They also want to send all their stalT to our non-program for "communit5r training." Too good to be true? Probably, at least

in the short run. It will be interesting to

see whether a real conversation between the centre management and us ordinary, slightly anarchic people can get going. Basic assumptions about the need for

"leisure education" and hierarchy and child management in these centres need to change before any real gains can be made

in re-creating a commons,

It seems remarkable to those of us who have been involved with the Thursday "indoor park' how thirsty local people have been for the kind ofneighborliness they lind with us. And as for not sending children to school, well, they wouldn't take that step, but - how pleasant the children are, how relaxed, how infrequently they fight, how they put together such interesting games even though there are so many different agesl And so on. If neighborliness and the re-creation of a commons of one kind or another are actually a l.ital interest for both schooling and non-schooling families, then the very natural tendenry of us non-schoolers to try to rebuild neighborliness may me.rn we have a much less marginal place in our culture than many of us have come to

lo assume. We have not only tJre power of time (stlll not much time, but so much

more than those families involved with schools) but also the power oftrusting our own understanding and resources as opposed to yielding to management by experts. In our present cultural void, very inadequately addressed by an army of social service workers, just a few families with both the time and the corrunon sense to just sit down in a spot and pay friendly attention to one another for a few hours, on a predictable day, can have an lnfluence all out of proportion to the simplicity

tlelr

action.

TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR TAKING A STANDARDIZED TEST A ltttlp comic relieJ Jor Jatniltes uho mag fu geaxitg upJor takvg standardized tests thrs sprhg Jrom Tle Winter f:ssue oJ the FailTest Examiner:'Ten Commandments

Jor Tal<tg a Standordized Test" bg

Mwin F. Taylor:

I. Thou shalt not make subtle distinctions (the universe must fit into four or five boxes). II. Thou shalt not thtnk broadly. (Only one given answer can be correct.)

III. Thou shalt not have thine own ideas. (Adopt the fantasy world of the test maker or else fail.) IV. Thou shalt not devise unusual relations among things. (A is to B as C is to what Somebody Else has in mind.) V. Thou shalt not be different in unique ways. (You are being compared with others along a single line according to a'normal' curve.) M. Thou shalt be better at naming a concept than at using the concept. $Vord recognition is the easiest skill to test.) MI. Thou shalt not try too hard. (kt your middle-class background guide your choice of answer; if you are not middle class, too bad.) VIII. Thou shalt not be confused by misleading or crowded graphic layout. IX. Thou shalt not confuse the answer with the name of the answer, with the number or the letter of the answer, or with the box to be shaded to tell the computer the number of letter that corresponds to the answer thou hast chosen. X. Thou shalt not be frightened.

WATCHING CHILDREN LBARN does so well) ts that whether to play, and

LOVING MUSIC Elsewlere fn thts lssue, Ilanct Gol&nan (lI) urites about ler son Yanon's tlrnhrement ln tle lrcol publb schr;o[ tELudW pLaCtnS clart:rt hr the schml bqnd. Here she writes about his cWhet pLaAinS in greater detail: Yaron started playing clarinet in fourth grade. The day he received the instrument he spent llve hours ffguring it out, and the next day astonished his band teacher by playing a small part of Tchaikovslry's sixth symphony. That year he enJoyed playing with the band, and took prlvate lessons, which he seemed to like also. The following year he became a homeschooler, and found himself without a band. The fascination of the clarinet diminished greatly. He lost interest in the private lessons, and got annoyed with the teacher's critlcism of his per-

formance. He was also provoked by her expectations that he practice, especially since she was the one who chose the pieces he was to play. We dropped the lessons, and the clarinet lay forgotten for a whole year. Then one day I mentioned to him in passing how beaudfully he used to play, and shortly thereafter he took the clarinet down and started playrng again. To my amazement, he continued from the point at which he had left off. not at all the worse for not having practiced for a year. Since then Yaron has joined the junior high school band, and is happily taking lessons again (with a different teacher). The best part is, he loves it. He still rarely practices. La.st week the school band had a solo and ensemble competltion (the judge was awed by Yaron's performancel). While waiting for Yaron I was chattlng with a mother ofanother boy, and asked her if her child enjoyed the clarinet. She answered, "Not so much, but he practices regularly because that was the agreement we made before we got the clarinet.'This not un@rnmon - answer always leaves me wondering about the motives of the parents. What other reason is there to play an instrument besldes the Joy it gives you? I am convinced that the reason Yaron enjoys his playing so much (and therefore

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how to go about it, was always nobody's business but his own.

SCHOOL DISCOURAGED SINGING Still more jom Dale Vostftsanos: Patti Blystone's letter about her musical child ('Would He Stop Singing?'GWS #65) struck close to home. My daughter has the same habit, whJch began as soon as she could rnake a noise. At 2, her enrberance caused my mother to refuse to accompany us to the grocery store, because she warbled operatically as I maneuvered the cart through the aisles. (Most other shoppers appeared amused, but my mother was raised not to draw attention to herself.) The happier Sara was, the louder she sang. She often made up little oPerettas as she played - her dolls and toys never spoke except to music. This wasn't a problem when she went to kindergarten, but in first grade, at the first parent-teacher conference, her musical habit was brought up, as it was 'disturbing the other children.' By the time of the conference, the shushing from her classmates and the rebukes of the teacher had just about eradicated the "problem." She rarely sang in school. But she also rarely sang at home. The Joyful zest had disappeared. Mid-winter, we began home education, and by the end of a month, the music was back. Later we had another go at public school, and ths time she knew what was expected. There was no complaint, but once again the singing stopped. The sparkle faded from her eyes as well, and her exuberant attitude changed to quiet unhappiness. We've retumed to homeschooling, for good, we both hope, and the music is back again. In many ways, the evidence points to music - self-created music - as being necessaq/ for her well-

belng.

READING AS PART OF A RELATIONSHIP Flpm Aaton Falful's unrk-in' pr9gress abut tle Dantsh Friskolen (see GWS #64,

*59):

Maria (l l) and Johanne (9) are using the wood-burning set in the workshop to make Christmas presents for their friends and relatives. Maria has just completed a small, wooden tic-tac-toe game for a cousin of hers in Sweden. The X's and O's are made out of wooden pieces that llt neatly into a linely-crafted playing board. She has just finished etching an inscription to the recipient of the gift on the back of the playing board when little Clara (6), who just started at the school at the beginning of the month, wanders by and is drawn in by the scene. She watches Maria etch a floral design under her inscription and is fascinated by the strangeness of this smolderlng wrlting instrument. Maria notices the presence of Clara and displays for her the llnished product. Clara turns over the board and leels the grooves of the inscription with her tingers. Maria asks her, 'Can you read

GROWING WITFIO{.]T SCHOOLING #68

ll it says?" Clara shyly shakes her head no. Marla smiles and says, 'Come,' and she modons for Clara to come sit on her lap. Then, very slowly and sweetly, Maria sounds out the words as Clara glrides her fingers over the dark-brown letters. Clara ls totall5r absorbed: her face conveys an expression of rapt concentration, her mouth partly open, her cheek leaning agatnst Martas arm. The enfire episode lasts not much more than a minute. It was so efortless, natural, and unselfconscious that to call it 'peer tutoring" would be to debase the beaut5r of the

irrvolved in. Sara is the only one so far who has asked for outside classes, and she takes ballet and skating lessons, activities for which specific techniques must be leamed. But I think it's important not to spread our children too thin. IVe particularly resisted art lessons (outside ofthe crafty kind) because I think kids should be able to develop their own styles.

Maria was not so much giving a reading lesson to her young frlend as sharing something she had made to a curious onlooker. The fact that she is a girl a few years older than Clara was lmportant. Clara could tdentify wtth her. She could say to herself, 'In Just a few years, probably less, I could be doing the same thtng using these tools, maklng these things, reading, vrrittng...'The fact that Marla has a somewhat maternal side to her character (whtch sometlmes works

It was another quiet night at the hospital, except for the soft, soothing sounds of fellow nurses reading medlcal Journals, yesterday's comlcs, nursery rhymes, or any other available literature, aloud to my fetus. It was the dawn of the brighter baby era and my peâ&#x201A;Źrs were insuring that my newborn would have a headstart on reading. From this early exposure on, Christo-

what

WHEN THEY WANTED TO READ Melang Cueva oJ Oklalama untes..

situation.

agalnst her) gave a particular feel of securlty and closeness -'Come sit in my lap" - to Claras experience. This securit5r, so apparent on Clara's face and ln her subtle body contact, made her totally unaware that she was engaged tn'the process of learning,' however brief. We have only to oompare this vignette to the common school experience of the "reading group' to see how profoundly human relationships contribute to the structure of the experience. In a very real sense, the human reladonship between these two girls In this brief encounter contrlbuted to the structure of Clara s

relationship wlth the prlnted word, with the acUvities and tools of the workshop, and with her acceptance lnto this new cornmunity of people.

NO NEED TO WORRY

ABOUT READING More Jrcm Ruth Matilsky: I was stardng to get worried because

all Sara ever wanted to read was novels.

Because I could never read anSrthing serious until I was well into my twenties, I was

afraid of her turning out that way. Then a few months ago Laura got fuito Sara's origami paper and ruined it. The screamlng was pretty awful. So for Sara's birthday I got her new paper and an origarni book (in Laura's name wlth an apologr for belng such a patn). I ftgured I would reid the origami directlons and teach Sara. Well, I read two paragraphs and felt the tension creeplng into my body - something like math anxiety - and put the book down. Sarapicked ltup and proceeded to teach herself how to make the most

compllcated origarnt creations I've ever seen. I can't believe that she can fiollow these directions, let alone remember them, but she does. For two months she has taken origarni paper wlth her everywhere she goes. I am no longerworrled about her readlng sliills. It is a real temptation to shower kids with all kinds of lessons, from gymnastics to plano to acflng. We have limited the amount of outside programs we're

pher grew up surrounded by books. By the time he was 3 he could make a career out of choosing a library book and often fell asleep under a magazine. We had done werything, I thougfrt, to nurture a supportive climate for reading. Why then was he not reading when most of his peers were? What had we missed? This fall we decided to homeschool Christopher in lirst grade. My energ/ was devoted to discovering the best strategr for helping him make sense of the world of letters and sounds. Togetherwe drew hopscotch squares on cardboard from refrigerator and rnttress boxes, writing various word families in the squares. We played ping-pong reciting rhyming words. We wrote favorlte words on cards and then, choosing one, would act lt out or draw a picture of it. We wrote words on rocks and then put them in order to make favorite sentences. Using an empty milk carton, we made a word cube which we rolled to read our word and then use it in a funny sentence.

In spite ofour efforts one key ingredient was misslng. We lacked dme for me to relax and for Christopher to dwelop. Not all flowers bloom in the spring. Christopher, now approaching 7, has picked his own time and his own way to leam to read. 'Beginner books are bor1n9," he says. "Why should I read them when I can tell the story from the pictures?' He is drawn to books tn which words paint the pictures for him to imagine. Now, when reading is a natural part of his life, I asked him what helped him leam to read. His simple reply: 'I

wanted to.'

l-ast Monday, at the library,

Ibtie

(5)

chose a beginner book and started sound-

ing out words. Christopher heard her struggling, walked over, and, putting his arm around her, encouraged her to continue, ollerlng help only when asked. She finished the book, both of them beaming. Like her brother, Katie had read because she wanted to. Christopher had freely and sponteneously given the best help he could glve - his love and support,

FARM APPRENTICE Sandra Mowtgog (MO] wrcte that Tabitha (13) "recenlly secured ler fvst

GRO\44NG WITHOI.]'T SCHOOLING #68

anuag-ttom-lante employnvnt, "helping out at a nearbg Jarm- We asked'to,bifhrr b teL us abut this u:ork, and sFc responded:

I first met Ms. ChaIIin, who owns the farm, by buyrng a horse from her. My new horse, Shari, is now boarding there, so I help out around the barn. I sometimes feed, which includes graining, haying, watering, and anything else that each horse needs. I might glgan stalls or lead horses to pasture for their exercising. I am also leaming to give the ill horses penicillin injections. I have many other interests, too. Dancing is an activity tJlat I really enjoy. I took an adult class on ballroom dancing this fall. It was very fun. Papa and I were partners and we had the best time. I was treated as an adult although at the time I never expected any less. I have been to live home births - two of them were my own sisters. One was Just last month. I was responsible for the other children. At another birth four years ago I talked the baby's sister through all of the strange noises mothers make while in labor. Another birth was two years ago. I did the most at this one. I told the five year old girl werything that went on. I also did all sorts of little chores for the midwives such as pouring olive oil into my mother's hands and getting cloths wet and filling pans with water. Reading is very fun in our home, Everyone reads. Kalista, my little sister, read at 3 and we read whatever is in our hands. My favodte scholastic study is reading, and Homer's ?he Odyssey is the most thrilling book I have ever read.

READING, MATH FROM PLAYING BRIDGE Marion Bever (IN] urrttes: We have decided to adopt a minimal schedule. We now do math in the morning (we are working through t}re Arithnetic

Made Slurqr.le book). Mark (lO) is supposed to read a minimum of fifteen minutes of science or social studies by himself. We also do reading together (I read to them). The boys play a lot of games together. If it is a new game, they {mostly Mark) read the rules themselves and figure lt out. Then later they sometimes make up some

dilferent rules to suit themselves. We got a bridge game for our computer. The boys watched me play it for a while and leamed the baslcs. Then they wanted to play with real cards, so their father and I played with them. Now they want to play bridge almost every night. (We don't, thoughl) One day they noticed that there is a bridge column in the newspaper, so they read that wery day. Sometimes they get out the cards and follow the hand that ts described in the paper. Our next plan ls to see what bridge books may be available in the library. I think there is a lot of math involved tn playtng bridge. You have to count up points to see whetheryou can bid or not. When you are playing the hand, you have to keep track of how many trump have been played (at least, lt is a good ldea to do this). Mark has learned much from readlng the bridge rules we have. Who knows what else we might be leaming

from this.

LEARNING ABOUT NATIVE AMERICANS Clndg HolDdgslvll oJ Matne torltes: One of the reasons we are homeschooling ts that schools seem to focus on only one perspectlve of many lssues. Where does milk come from? Goats. of coursel What color are apples? Our favorites are yellow. Who llxes the plumbing? Why, Mommy, of coursel Seewhatl mean? That's why we are looktng at Amerlcan

history from a very Amerlcan potnt of view - the view of the Natlve Amerlcans, The Indians had some fabulous values to pass on to thelr chtldren. For a view of this, I recommend, SeuenArrorus by Hyemeyohsts Storm and The Htrcallon oJ Uttle Ttee by Forrest Carter lavatlable here, #254, $fO.951. I've decided that when we learn a

different language (must it be foreign?) I'd like to learn an Amerlcan Indian lan€Uage. The Sioux had a sigp language that all the Platns tribes could understand, and I've found a book on that, but nowhere have I found anything on any other American Indian language. Can anyone help? I am part Cherokee (very small part) and would be interested in that language, or Sioux, or any other thafs available,

WATCHING DRESS REHEARSAL Helen Rubin oJ Florida r-urites: Last year I noticed that a local middle school was peforming The HobbX, and following a call to the school we were invited to watch a dress rehearsal. It proved more lnterestlng than an actual performance because we were privy to all the technical wrinkles they were trying to work out, lncluding microphones, videotaping, proJection of voices, tirning, etc,

Dantel (l l) had hts copy of the book with htm and studted the maps as he listened and watched.

I conslder a properly-written thank you note to those who asslst homeschoolers our best form of publtc relatlons. We always slgn ourselves as homeschoolers.

AN INTEGRATED LIFE Pattt Pttclvr IWN urttes: Ttris year has been such a deltghl Thtngs I had always been hoplng would happen with homeschooltng are happenlng spontaneously. Now that Becca reads, the whole world seems to have opened up to her. We can't go to the ltbrary often enough. She often has three or four books on dlllerent subJects golng at any one time. I Just flnd lt so exciting to watch. I don't know, maybe lt's belng 7 or the

reading or making more homeschooled friends - Becca is Just so full of Me. Every day she is bursUng wlth ideas to keep her busy. Her liG seems so tntegrated, wtth plapng being the central theme. She and her sister Laura get going tn a game and prett5l soon they are ushg the dtcttonaqr to look up the flag of Spaln so they can draw a flag to put In the castle that they are buildtng out of blocks (the castle idea came from a book Becca was reading about magniflcent constructions), And then they ask about csstumes and then Beccawill play a few songs on the flute as part ofthe game, and then how do you spell such and such... It goes on and on all day, she explores so numy things, all within the context of the game. There ls nothing linear about this process and no way to evaluate how she ls progressing, but it is obvious she ls learning. One minute she ls working on learning to cooperate, Itnding a way to meet all the players' necds, ancl the next minute she asks how to spell something. It feels so rlch and real.

PARENTS TAKE PLAY SERIOUSLY (PA):

Ftom Amanda Elergson-Shilcock

Recently I've started mnnlng a restaurant whtch I call The Golden Saucer. I rrn it ln our house, and only members of my own farntly come to it. I'll announc€ at about 2:OO ln the afternoon that I'm cooking dinner that night, and that everybody should keep outof the kirchen. I make hors d'oeuwes, a blg dinner, and dessert, and then I tell everyone to get dressed up because they're going to a fancy restaurant. My slsters come and bring thelr

dolls, and even my brother Nicholas, who's 4 and ls now old enough to know how to behave at a fancy restaurant, wlll get dressed up and come.

What I appreciate is that when my parents come to the door they don't Just say, 'Amanda, where do we sit?'They say, 'We have resewatlons for tontght' and I say, 'Oh yes, rlght this way.'We act like we'l€ no relation at all. They act like they're at a very formal, very speclal restaurant. They don't ask me to step out of my waltress role - they treat me as if I'm really the waltress, cook, owner, and so on of a real restaurant. They respect the fact that I want to set it up that way. My dad was telling the group of children at Open Connections, the family center that my parents run, about The Golden Saucer, and he didn't tell them that it was run by me until the very end. He told about how werybody in the family had gone out to dinner at this very fancy restaurant, and then some of the kids said - these are 4-7-year-old kids - 'Where ls this place? Can we go?' Dad said, 'Well, actually, lt's ln my own dinlng room, and my daughter Arnanda runs it.' Some of the kids were very surprised, and t really appreciated that my dad took me seriously that way. I don't like lt when adults make fun of thtngs like that.

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Fantasy se€ms to play some sort of therapeutic role in the lives of many children. Children who have been hurt or demoralized by some experience ln thelr lives need time to heal and recuperate. Rather than submerging or rcPressing painful experiences, children have a strong need to understand such experlences, to turn them over in their minds and come to grips wtth them. Just as children make sense of the world through

fantasy, they can also use fantasy to analyze some of their more painful moments by playrng with them... They are, perhaps without knowing it, following Freud's inJunction to "make the unconscious conscious" through their play, as the following e:<ample lllustrates: Every so often a group ofchildren would play "school" at the school. They, would iet up a number of beer cases ln the muslc room to form rows of desks and chairs... At the front of the "class" they would assemble a tall lectern made up of

GROWING WITHOTN SCHOOLING #68

l3 s {ll more beer cases. Ttrls was the "teacher's" place, and one of the children worild ' adopt thts role. Thls "teacher" rvould SCREAI\{ at t}re class to slt down, pay attenUon, read outloud, ansurcrquesdons, and

would admtntster punlshment tf th€y did not c.omply. The rest of the children, who played the partofthe class, thought that this was uproarlously funny. At ffrst I thought the,whole aflair rather odd. Why should chlldren at a free school want to play thls game? But then I realized that the leaders of the game were

lnrariably chlldren who had themselves

come to Frlskolen 70 after harsh experiences at other schools. Thetr fantasv dramadzadon of such a super-strlct sc-hool uras their way of comlng to grtps with thelr own er(perience through playfng wlth it, externallztng tt. By adoptfng the role of such a rldlculous, tyrannlcal teacher - perhaps a parody of so.-rne teacher from thiir own past - they could deal with some of

their own hurt and an:det5r in a nonthreatening way. They could take possession of the situatlon now, whereas before thev were the vlcdms...

WHEN RESEARCH PAPERS AREN'T COMPULSORY More

Jrom Natrg Wallae:

About a month ago, Vtta's vloltn teacher asked her lf she wer did proJects ' at home. "Yes, of course,'Vita sald, amazed that anyone would even bother to ask her such a quesdon. She ts always in the middle of sohe proJect. Upstalrs-her room ls ltttered with the scraps of material she ls uslng to make a mask for her brother Ishmael, who ls eagerly loolidng forward to the Valentlne's Day masqueiade party and waltzfng contesl that the students at hls muslc conservatory are holding. In the kitchen she ts dM-ng her marblelzed paper and edrlbittng hei latest nude sketches. In the llvtng room she has a plle of plasttc 3-D shapes that she has butlt with a frlend, and tn the art room she has so many other thlngs gotng that she has given up trying to keep a space on her desk clear. Her vlolar teacher, though, had somethlng very dtfferent in mlnd - a proJect that would better have been labeleda

'school report.'Thls ls a quanfity virtually unknown to nalve Vita. She has, ln fact, written many reports, but she always consldered them'papers,' like her father's phtlosophy papers (wtth footnotes, of course, and academtc-looktnA Utle pages), or'books' (wtth lllustrattions and prettycovers). Vfta, who has always been llercely lndependent, always choie to wrlte these books and papers, always chose her subJects, and always developed her focus herself. Clearly, the violtn teacher's proJect was a dlfferent kettle of

fish.

Every year, as it tums out, thls teach-

er requires her regular vlolin students to research the htstory and dwelopment of the violln and turn ln the results ln report form. Thls year she happtly thought that Vita mtght ltke to do lt too. "Oh no," I thought, trnagtning the teacher's dtsappolntment when Vlta showed no lnterest (and I never expected that she roould show

any interest). Innocently (I thought), the teacher handed Vita several pages of mtmeographed instrucdons. t glanced at them over Vlta's shoulder. lhey called for llsts of famous violfur concertos and sonatas, short btographles of famous vloltnists and teachers, the names of the members of famous string quartets, and the vltal statistlcs of at least twenty-llve composers for the violin. With a project like that, how can you help but copy everything stralght from the encyclopedia? I thought. And why ln the world urould you ever care to keep any of the lnformafion ln your head once you'd transGrred it from the encyclopedia page to your own? _ I expected that Vtta would qutetly tuck the mimeographed sheets auray somewhere and forget about thern But lnstead, she sat rtght down to work as soon as she got home, A month later, she ts sflll hard at lt, stlll punching away at the typewrtter, sttll burying herself in our Groue's Dictionary oJ Mtsic and her book of great viollntsts, sdll enthuslastic, and sdll spilling out to me all the varlous facts she ls amasslng. The words she types are her own, and she seems to have no trouble formulattng thern All I can thtnk ls that through her genuine lnterest, she ls dtgesting the lnformatlon well enough to be able to thtnk about lt, and hence to wrlte about l! from her own vlervpolnL I don't thtnk I ever remembered a date beyond the tlme that I turned tn a paper. Although I did well ln school, I can't remember a tlme when I wasn't absolutelvsure that learnlng narnes and dates and wdnng factual reports were actlvitles totally lrrelwent to real life. When Vita began writtng her academic papers and books, I was sure that this was something dilferent: a way to explore media that the adults around her were lnvolved with. Il ln her research, she memorlzed names and dates, I barely nottced and certainly didn't give it a second thought. I now thinlq though, that ltke many people I confused the compulsory aspects of my school experlenc.e wlth the actual

rvorth of the assignments themselves. So many of my friends are convinced that Davd e-oppetfreW is a borlng book even thgugh they recognize that they may very well think so simply because they had to read it ln school. In the same way, It never occurred to me until now that I mtght be blaming narnes and dates frr toto, because at the tlme I had no interest, and had no reason to have an interest, tn the subJect that my teachers asslgined me to wrlte about, however worthwhlle - or relevant at another potnt in my ltfe - tt might have been.

But lf I wrote reports to please the teacher, Vita is only pleastng herself as she types away, and only satlsfflng her own latent curioslgr about the subJect. The nuunes and dates that she ls busy learnlng are helping to place and organize all of the stray bits and pieces of lnformadon that she has picked up in heryears ofviolin playrng. She feels the kind of excitement that I feel when I reorganize my flles, leamwhat treasures I have been accumulattng, and see how they all fit together. Ofcourse I can't e4pect that the next teacher's mtmeographed worksheets will have the same ellect on Vlta at all. She mfghtJust as easily stash them away on a

GROWINC WITHOUT SCHOOLING #68

shelf. But as long as she feels free to do that - as long as she doesn't feel compelled to please her teachers the way I did - she won't develop any unfatr biases about the actual value ofthe work. To be free to say, -Thls doesn't lnterest me rlght now,' means tJlat you are always free to be lnterested later.

MAKING CONNECTIONS Mad.nlene MwptW (PN wrltes:

John Holt has done it again. In so many of hls wrtttngs he has helped me artlculate more clearly an idea that was bubbling around ln my own mind but would nerrer harden lnto any prcsentable shape, and ln tris letter that you publlshed tn cWS #67 he helped me clari$ my feellngs about teachlng concepts to

children.

Bronowski's potnt that makfng connecfions ls a creative act is one of the cornerstones of my c'oncept of education, and not Just for children. Christian, when he was younger, used to have days when he would be obvlously depressed. He would mope around the house until he would Ilnally burst out wtth, 'I can't think of anything to makel'He had a real need to be maldng, to be creating, and he still does, although tllls need can be satislled

by a greater varlety of thlngs now - wdting a story, havtng a good dlscussion, fi:dng his ridtng mowerr making a door buzzer

(Watclnng Chtldren Leann' corttnues orr page28)

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GROWING WITHOUT SCHOOLING #68

JOHN HOLT'S BOOK AIIID MUSIC STORE COLLEGE ADMISSIONS: A GUIDE FOR

HOMESCHOOLERS byJudy Gelner,

I 132 $7.95

Iong-time homeschooler Judy Gelner, tntroductng her book Co\ege Admlsslans: A GuldeJor Home schoolers, write

There are many worthwtrlle and satis$ing paths to choose tn life and college is on$ the first step on one path. Thts book ls a guide for those homeschoolers who may wonder what lies ahead lf they do choose to go to college and for those homeschoolers who have already declded that college will be useful for them and need some help tn following

the college admlsslons maze. My credentials are stmple. I helped my son, Kendall, work hts way through the college admlssions tests, forms, and deadltnes dl wlthout a htgh school guldance ofllce, accredited diploma or a lot of the 'obJective measurements' that most high school students present to a college.

Ltke so many of the homeschoolers who write to GwS, Judy Gelner speaks clearly and honestly from her own experlence, maldng her story useful both to the groups she mentlons andto those readers who have no immediate plans to go to college (or to help someone get ready to go) but are tnterested in how one family presented a nontraditional, self-directed education in a way that was understandable and acceptable to traditional lnstitutions. Here, for example, are excerpts from the letter Judy wrote to oplain why Kendall could not tnclude a tradtttonal transcript in his applications: Tfust is at the heart of our home-schooing experience... Nowwe are askingyou to trust us. We are givingyou a form saylng thatwe have covered all the courses whlch you require of incomlng students. We do believe that we have covered at least as much, if not more than the required coursework. But besides the SAT and Achlevement Test scores. we do not have other obJecUve evldence to prove what we have accomplished. The declslon to follow a'no grade' path for Kendall's high school years was made with the knowledge that there was some rlsk involved. But the decislon was deliberate and made after careful conslderatlon of how he could best learn at that stage of his life...

And, from the Counselor Recommendaton: For the last six years Kendall has been learning at home rather than in the school settlng which most of your appllcants come from. So. I am Kendall's counselor, teacher, the director of our school and also his mother. I can hardly pretend to be unbiased or obJective, nor do I have the kinds of comparisons to make with other students that a counselor might be able to make. But I do believe that I can supplyyou with information to help learn about Kendall so that you can see if hls talents and characteristlcs match the character of your lnstitution.

Homeschoolers whose educations have been

simllar to Kendall's may at some point find themselves, for any one of a number of reasons, in need of a simple way of explatning the premises of what they've been doing. The Gebeers offer a helpful model of how to do this without sounding apologetic or inadequate. Certainly the decision to apply for admission to college involves compromises for the homeschooler - Kendall had to take the usual tests and fill out the usual forms - but the Gelners seem to have found a way to do this without losing their integrity or pride in an atypical form of educatlon. The first part of College Admisstons is a diary of the family's experlences wlth the admissions process during Kendall's last year at home. The second part of the book gives useful information about the required tests, the admissions process in general, and financial aid, wlth lists of places to get further tnformation. Judy Gelner is not the only one who can tell you how to reglster for the SAT or flll out an application, but she's the only one who has yet done so in a friendly guide addressed specifically to homeschoolers. Her book is a welcome addition to the available homeschooling literature.

Susannah Sheffer

AMERICAN HEROES: In and Out.of School by Nat Hentoff # I rOO $ta.gS (hardcover) This book is about kids - mostly teenagers - who have stood up for their rights in one way or another, and some adults who were fighttng for kids'rights or some other rights. Among the rights the people in

John Holt's Book and Muslc Store

2269 Massachusetts Ave.

the bookfought for are Fleedom ofSpeech, Freedom of the Press, the right to prtvacy, lgllgious rtghts, and the right to read. It was excittng to lorow that some ldds aren t Just going to let their prtnctpals or teachers tell them what they can or cannot do, and that they are dotng something about it. All of the kids tn the book are ln school. so when the title says "in and out of school' I guess it means the adults who are out of school, like the librarlans who are lighting for the rtght to read, etc. A lot of the book was agatnst school, because, as it says in the book, 'What's the potnt of reading about the Bill of Rights and other American freedoms in schoolbooks tf they are not permitted to come alive ln schoolrooms?'Teachers are teachir4l their students about rights and then not letting them do something that they have the right to do, such as print what they want tn the school paper, or not salute the American flag lf they don't want to. That's what happened to a girl tn the book named Susan Shapiro, who said she dtdnt want to stand up to the flag because it'wasJust a symbol, a piece of cloth.' She said it was the people of America that mattered, not the symbols. The author states the facts aboutwhat happened in each case, like a newspaper article. The book is divided into chapters, which are short and not very deep, also like a newspaper. But theywere clear and interesting, and also lnformative. Brosnan

-Anne

Anne's mother, Claudio Brosnan, adds: The heart of Amq'rcan Heroes is in this quote: '...liberty is indtvisible. If tt doesn't belong to everyone, even people you despise, it isn't secure for anyone. Including you.' The editor of the high school paper who wins hls sutt against censorship but is reviled by his peers has learned that lesson. He says the freedom he has won'includes even the right of students to burn our newspaper if they want to.' After reading this book I was left with mixed feelings about the state of our Constitutional rights. Some brave people stood up for their rights; even more people tried to trample them down. Some things I naively assumed were true (that corporal punishment was not allowed in schools and that students had Fourth Amendment rtghts the same as everyone) turn out not to be true at all. This short book gets your attention and raises interest in rights lssues. I lntend to look up the books listed in the btbliography. Our Book & Music Store staff asks customers to remember that your receipt, with information about your particular order, is enclosed as part of the mailing label on the outside of your - so don't throw this information awav.

Cambridge, MA02l40

SIBLINGS WITHOUT RIVALRY by Adele Faber and Elatne Mazltsh #I19O $7.95 I used to spend two mornings a week at Open Connectlons, the family resource center run by GWS readers Peter Bergson and Susan Shllcock, and I remember something that happened one mornleg that taught me about how adults can help children solve certain ktnds of conlltcts. T\rro chtldren, each about flve years old, were working at the lab table, experimenting with test tubes fllled with colored water. Suddenly there were obvious sounds of conflict. Susan walked over to the table and, seeing that the chlldren were struggling over the same piece of equtpment, asked one of them, "D., what doyou

want?-

*The

test tube with the blue water in it,' he told her. 'A., what do you want?" Susan asked, turning to the other child. *The test tube with the blue water in it.' Susan waited. After a minute the first child said reluctantly, "I guess A. can use it after I'm finished.' 'Can you give her an tdea of when you'll be flnished?' Susan asked him. 'In about five minutes.' "Is that OKwith you, A.?" Susan asked the second child, who nodded, and that was all. Susan had not given the children the solution to their problem. She hadn't allowed herself, the adult, to be the ftnal arbiter, the person to whom the children had to appeal forJusttce. After helping the children to lay the problem on the table, so to speak, she had appealed to tteir ability to figure out what to do about two children who wanted to use the same material at the same tlme. This ts precisely the premise of Srbhngs Witl:out Rirnlry. Several GWS lssues ago we ran some letters about sibling conllicts, and tn response quite a few parents told us how helpful Adele Faber and Elaine Mazltsh's book had been to them. Whenever that many GWS readers tell us about something, we Iigure tt's worth tnvesttgating. The book grew out ofthe authors'workshops on sibllng rivalry, and much of it is written llke an actual transcrlpt of the workshop sesslons. We get to hear many different parents talldng about what goes on tn their families, and dlscussing how well the authors' proposals worked (the structure of the workshops seems to have been that the group would dlscuss a particular aspect of sibling rivalry each week, try out the groups' suggestions at home, and then report back the followtng week). I can lmagine all sorts of books on sibling rivalry that I would not ltke, but this one has in its favor its abtltty to acknowledge the complodty of the lssue and tts refusal to accept that constant

John Holt'e Boot and tuelc Storc

22 69 Massachusetts Ave.

fighting among stbllxgs is tnevitable, Just part of how ldds are. It offers suggestions, often tn the form of speclllc thtngs that a parent might say, without implying that there are easDr, formulalc soluflons to prob-lems of human lnteractlon. It doesnt irnply that anger and Jealousy are tncompaflble wtth living comfortably together or even v/tth eqloylng each other. It's firteresttng to hear the parents talk about how far a slmple acceptance of those negattve feelings (as we usually thtnk of them) can go toward freetng a chtld from them. One mother told the authors thts story: I always sensed that Mellssa (Z was a llttle Jealous of her slster (3). Not that she's nasty to her. She doesn't hlt her or anythlng. SheJust sort of lgnores her. But lt's hard to tell with Mellssa. She's not one to talk about what bothers her. She's a lot llke me. ...When the litfle onewas taklnganap, I asked MeIssa to come slt on the couch wlth me. I put my ium around her and sald, 'I'm

$ad we can be alone together, because I haven't talked toJust you tn a long ttme. IVe been thlnklng - someflmes lt must be a patn ln the neck to have ayounger slster. you have to share everythtngwlth her, yourrq)m, your toys - even your mother.' It was llke a dam broke loose. She couldn't stop talldng, and I couldn't belleve what I was hearlng. She sald such terrlble thtngs. How much she hated hert How she wished her dead someflmes. I started to get slck to my stomach. It was a good thlng the phone rang, because I don't know how much more I cotrld harrc llstened to. That ntght when I went up to check on the

Cambrldge, MAO2l4O

kids, I thought I wasn't seelng straight. There were the two of them ln one bed, sleeptng wlttt thelr arms around each otherl

The authors comment: "It seemed such a puz.zllttg paradox. Inststtng upon good feeltngs between the chtldren led to bad feelings. Allowing for bad feeltngs between the chtldren led to good feeltngs. A ctrcuttous route to sfbhng hannony. And yet, the most dtrect.' The book talks about the danger of compartng sibli4gs, of firdng them in certaln roles, of tnterprettng fairness too narrowly (thlnking, for example, that lf you give one chtld somethfng you must always give the other the exact same thtng). The parents quoted tn the book also reflect on their own chtldhoods and thetr ourn feellngs as slblings. There's so much useful discusston here that I suspect the bookwould be valuable even for families who don't experlence stblIrg rtvalry as.ur immedtate problem. SS

THE MAPMAKERS byJohn Wlford #l 160 $10.95

It is always a treat, I feel, to llnd a well-wrltten book that brtngs a non-flcUon subJect to ltfe. Thts book, subtltled'The story of the great ptoneers |:l cartography from antiquity to the space age,' tells the htstory of maps by focusing on the people who made them. Mercator was a real person, for ocample, not Just the name of a kind of map. Mason and Dixonwere people, too, sent from England to settle a boundary dlspute ln the colonies. A family of Frenchmen mapped the enttre country of France tn e*rausttve detail, creating the flrst sedes of topographtcal maps in the world. One notable character ts the grumbllrg, homeslck Charles Freuss who was dragged around the

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American west by the dashIeg explorer John Charles Fremont because Fremont needed a good mapmaker. And George washington makes an appearance in the book, too. Says the author: No one could have been surprised, ln the atmosphere of colonlal Virglnla, when young George Washington decided on sunre5ring as his flrst pro-

fesslon. Land was the way to affluence and social position, and where there was land to be clalmed, parceled, and settled, ttrere had to be suweyors.... Though he had little formal educatlon, Washlngton acquired a knowledge of arlthmeUc, or clphering as lt was called, and the elements of surveying... When he was only thirteenyears old, Wash-

ington found some suwqring lnstruments that had belonged to tris father... and began running lines at his home and the neighborlng plantations...

By translating what might be dry and technical into the personal, the book succeeds in conveying the painstaking, bitterly slow work behind something we take for granted - the map. Sometlmes a new invention or a flash of gentus caused a major improvement in the way maps were done, and occasionally physical courage was called for, braving mountain peaks and unknown seas, but mostly it just a lot of hard work. One weakness of the book is a shortage of lllustrations - surprising in a discussion of a subject that is so visual. In several places I knew that one good diagram could have replaced manywords, such as ln the story of how Eratosthenes of Egrpt calculated the size of the globe 1n24O B.C. But I have seen that diagram, and others that would useful in other parts of the book, in encyclopedias, atlases, and other reference books, so I am sure that tfyou are confused you could benefit by consulting such works. The book, I think unwittingly, ralses some serious questions about the implications of mapmaking. Wilford follows the stereotypical history line - Babylon, Egpt, Greece, Rome, medleval and Renaissance Europe, Arnerica. He says in the opening that the Chinese were maktng topographical maps in the second century 8.C., but that's all we hear about them. It appears thatbettermaps encourage the holders of those maps to irrvade other terrltories, yet the book gives only the slightest nod to the existing inhabitants of an area. One native American chief protests, 'We do not understand measuring out the lands - it is all ours... Brothers, you seem to grow proud because you have thrown down the king of England.'Maps are needed to buy and sell land. to make roads, dams, and all manner of "improvements." Does curtostty, so healthy a feeling, inevitably lead to development, over-development, and destruction? I would say that maps are a tool that can be used for good or ill, and tt is up to

Cambrtdge, MA0214O

us to determine how they are used. What I am challengfng here is the sense that 'progress' ls good and inevttable, whtch I think Wilford unconsclously supports by hts selection of what htstory to tell.

-DonnaRichoux We want to remtnd you about some of the books that we

added to our fall catalog which, because they were already dlscussed ln GWS tn detatl, we may not revlew agaln:

The Learnlng Myetique, by Gerald Coles (#l I 52, $f O.95). In our lnterview wlth lrtm ln GWS #63, Coles descrtbes hls chdlenge to the neurological theory of learning dtsablliUes. whlch ls the central theme of this book. The book ls essenUal for anyone thinklng seriously about the LD label and wantlng more detailed dlscussion than Coles was able to glve ln our lnteMew. Now ln paperbackl Drawlng Wtth Childrcn, by Mona Brookes (#ll14, $f O.95). Some of you have ordered this book on the strength of Susan Richman's descripUon of it in GWS #61. Susan described how the book helped her boys overcome thelr feellng of "artist's block," and you may want to look again at what she said to get a sense of how thls book may be helpful to your children.

Wrlte Fron Thc Start, by Donald Graves and Vtrginia Stuart (#1202, $4.5O). We lnterviewed the authors about thetr approach to children's writlng, with tts emphasls on lnvented spelllng and on treattng children ltke real authors, in GWS #54. We're happy to be able to offer the book at such low cost now.

Are you looking for a focus for your homeschoollrg meettng or get-together? Do you spend a lot of time in the car, or for other reasons find that you have more time to listen than

to read? Would you like an easy way to tntroduce friends or rel4tlves to the idea of homeschooling, or to John Holt's philosophy? Do you regret never having heard John Holt give a

lecture or workshop? CONSIDER ORDERING ONE OF OI]R AUDIO TAPES.

.lohn Holt on How Children Lcarn (formerly titlcd "John Holt Talka to Swcdlsh Teachers") - #396, $6. John Holt's 1983 Intcrview (about homeschooltng, and muchelse) - #398, $6.

John Holt's Intenicw ln England (about children,

schools, and homeschoolin$ - Vol. l, #4OO, Vol. 2, #4O2, Vol.3, #4O4. $6each. Thc Rtghte of Chlldren (provocative - tdeal for a discusslongroup) - #668, $l f .95. See our catalog for other available tapes.

FOCUS: WHAT TEENAGERS WANT FROM ADULTS DOESN'T HAVE TO ASK FOR HELP F)om Chelsea Chrrpman (ffi: What I rea$ want most from the adult world is respect I would like people to really listen to my tdeas and thoughts. But that's not hard around here because I have found that in Alaska people seem to acccpt homeschooling and ldds in general very well. Maybe the rleason for this is that many kids lust can't go to school because of the cold in winter or because they live too far away. A lot of people only go into town once every three weeks. Especially in our circle of friends, I am listened to and understood. People seem to want to hear my ideas and treat me as an equal. Many people have offered to help me wlth my wrtttreg and other things I'm interested in. For example, one wornan I know offered to help me write a play to enter in the statewide Children's

Playwright cutest. One of my maln lnterests ls horsemanship,/riding. I have found that in the horse world, Alaskan anyway, you don't often have to ask for help. lf someone tlrtnks thatyou oryour horse need it, they give lt, whether you like lt or notl Many people help me tn daily life, too. When it gets cold, I mean really cold (-4O F), my mom can't take my baby brother lnto town, so our nelgfibor takes me shopping and to lur-rch. Also, ln cold weather, my slster and I help our neighbor with her llamas and, sometimes, she takes us to the

symphony. If I need help sewlng something, another friend of ours lets me use her sewing machlne. I .st summer, she helped my sister, brother, and me make a patchwork baby qutlt for our new brother. So, really, I don't ask for help from the adult world. ItJust comes on its own.

PARENTS HELP YOUNG ARTIST F)om Carey Newman (BC):

I am 14, and right now I am working towards becoming a full-time artist. My parents have played a btg part in my progress up to now. When I was 12 my Dad asked the Sooke Museum about me having a solo show of my wlldlife sketches in their gallery. The museum approved and said that I c.ould have a show during December 1987 and Januaqr 1988. A lot of my time durtng the months before the show was spent preparing for the opentng night, wtrich close to ninety people attended. Through the next two months over half my drawings sold. I thank my mom and dad for pushing me to get everything ready

for that show. In Febmar5r of 1988, I started working on Northwest Coast Indian art. My dad, an Indian artlst himself, was very helpful in showing me the rules of Indian design. Soon after, my father received an application form for the Sooke Fine Arts Show. a Juried show that takes placr ln Sooke every year. Jokingly, I said that I should

enter my Indian designs and silkscreen-print them. My parents turned tt from joke to matter and said that I should try. They supported me ffnancially by lendlng me the money to enter the show, and to buy silkscreening materlal.

An ardst friend of mlne helped me to do the silkscreening. TWo of my designs were accepted and I went on

to sell fifty-nine prints over a period of ten

We asked seDeralteenaged GWS readers to tell us what theg want-from aduLts, and twus tteg thtnk adults can be most helpful to tlvm- In our letter to ttese teenagers, we asked "Do gou find gowself uanting trclp in naDigatilrg the adult uorld? Help in fnding opprhrnities to do wlwt Aou want to do? Help in finding adults besides Vour parents to work uith? Do goufind Voursef uanting priuacg? Sgm?athg? Tales oJ adults' oun experiences?' The writers u.:.tto hil)e contributed to this Fbcus range in age from almast-73 to atmost-78.

days, bringing in Just over $2OOO, from which I paid back my parents and bought more equlpment and supplies to conUnue wlth this art form. My mom later found out about the Okanagan Summer School ofthe Arts, got the appllcation form, helped me apply for abursary to coverexpenses, and assisted me in composing a letter with samples of my work so that I could get accepted into a course that didn't normally accept anyone

under 16.

I have taken piano and theory lessons for ten years. While I don't plan to become a professional musiclan, I have reached a level such that I could work at it lf I decided to. My mom has enc.ouraged me to write piano and theory exams before quitting lessons for the purpose of using these certilicates as stepplng stones to get into the lield of muslc lf I were to choose to do so at some future date. Someday I want to go to university. Because I won't have a htgh school

diploma I'll have to flnd some other way of getting in. My mom has already found out that I can get lnto a nearby college in the fine arts program by writing and passing a Grade 12 English assessment

and presenting a satisfactory portfolio of about twenty-five pleccs of my art work. After a two-year course at that college I could transfer to third year at the Universit5r of Victoria. This ls what I think I want to do in a few vears. I think thlt adults can help me most by teaching me what they know and by supporting me in what I want to do.

WHY SHOULD WE RESPECT OURSELVES?

F\om Yaron Goldnan (lI):

When adults treat me as inferior, immature, etc., it really bugs me. I expect people to treat me wlth respect, regardless of how much older they are than me. Of course, I am obliged to treat them with respect as well, As far as parents are concemed, I feel I owe them a lot of

gratitude for ralslng me, suppoding me, and so forth. Therefore I should avoid contradicting them and givlng tJlem a hard time. However, thls doesn't mean they have a license to lord it over me.

GROIWING WITHOTIT SCHOOLING #68

A good example of how I Gel adults should treat teenagers is the teacher ofa constructlon class which I take at aJunior high (even as I home school). Although he does work ln a school, grades work, and has other shortcomlngs, hls class ls, ln my oplnion, more representatlve of John Holt's ideas than any other in the school. As students, we may walk, talk, or use tools freely. He expects us to act responsibly (which, in my opinion, is very good), doesn't overuse his authorit5r, and talks to us as equals (we treat him the same). If he breaks a safety rule, he expects us to alert him, Just as he would alert us. As far as grades are concerned, he is very objecdve, and always explains his reasons for the grade. He also refuses to grade ourwork unless we feel we did a goodJob, and if we feel we didn't, he glves us a chance to

correct it. As adults have more experience than me, and have had more time to learn, I appreciate it when they take time to discuss thtngs with me. If, when we talk, they treat me as an equal, then I enjoy the conversation and usually gain a lot from it. If, however, I am treated as an lgnoramus, then three things happen. I get annoyed (who wouldn'9), I get frustrated (they don't listen, sinc.e I'm only l3 and couldn't possibly have anSrthing tnteresting to say), and, on top of it all, I don't gain angthing because I can never get a decent resPonse.

There are many other reasons why adults should respect children and vice versa, but I couldn't cover them all unless I was wrlting a book. The biggest reason that I can think of ls this: If we are not respected, why should we respect ourselves?

,'THEY DONIT CARE HOW OLD I AM'' F-tom VXa Wollace (NY):

When I turned 13, the thing that I worried about most was that I would suddenly be considered a confused and frivolous teâ&#x201A;Źnager, not a person but an adolescent (not a bad thing to be, but certalnly associated with a lot of things

20 that ld rather not be assoclated wtth). t was afrald I'd be c.onstdered too young for adult matters and too old to be a chtld. Luck$, that has turned out not to be the case at all. Ttre adults who I ltke and whose oplnlons I care about have the good sense not to care how old (oryoung) I am, and stmply respect me however much I deserve to be respected.

I am tn a ffgure drawing class for adults, for lnstance, partly because I lust couldn't stand the idea of betng ln a class labeled 'for teenagers.' My mother called the teacherbefore the class began to see

it would be all right tf I signed up for tt. He satd that as long as I thought I c.ould conccntrate for two hours stratg;ht, I was welcome to try tt. No one there has ever asked me how old I am, and I don't thfnk they'd mtnd tf they knew. Another wonderful thing that has happened to me recently has been my irrvolvement wtth a group of people who are startlng a food c.o-op in lthaca- My mother was lnterested, so at llrst I Just rvent to thelr meetlngs to be wlth her. When they started to vote, howerrer, I was amazed to lind that they not only allowed me to vote, but they usanted.rlrrc. to vote. Even then, I was so flabbergasted when

they asked what committee I would ltke to be on that I dtdn't know what to sav. A few rvecks ago, when I was at a meeUn{wtthout my mother, I got stuck durtng the

introducdons, because I didn't know what

to say I was. Nancy's daughter? Someone who's Just lnterested? Surely not a student?l I asked Nancy afterwards, and she asked one of the board members. 'Oh,' he satd, 'I thought she was on the personnel

committee wlth you." It made me feel nlcr to know that I could say "personnel com-

mittee' after my name. Because I stlll am not an adult, I'm stlll very conscious of the times when

adults treat me like a human being. I wlsh that I could take that for granted.

HARD TO GET PAST THE FRONT DESK Flom Arura-Ilsa C,ox oJ Mtchtgarc I am 17, and until I became a parttime student at the local college a couple of years ago, I had been schooled at home all my life. I see myself as pretty much being an adult, so the adults I ffnd helpful are probably close to what arryone, as an

adult, finds helpful ln other people.

There is a popular belief held by most adults that teenager are andsocial creatures for whom 'responsibill$r' ls a dirty word. I'm sure there are teenager like that out there, but I am not. We have to work very hard to llve down our negadve image.

My main passion in life right now is, and has been for the last threeyears,

social anthropologr and history. Antlque clothing has been the context whlch brought these subJects alve for me, I became interested ln antique clothing when I was living tn England for a year with my famtly. I stumbled upon the Victoria and Albert Museum ln London, which has one of the best costume collections ln Europe. I was lnstantly fasclnated by it, and I determined to flnd out more

about the subJect. Now, three years later, I have a large costume collecdon of my own (acqutred

whlch he had prted out of an old Walkman

through hours of rummaghg through chartty shops, garage sales, and local estate sales), whtch I use ln hlstorlcal fashlon presentatlons for local clubs,

pleased.

churches, and buslnesses, I am also the costume collectlon consultant for the local tdstortcal soclety, I llnd what I do very excldng. It's wonderful to be able to help frtends date thelr grandmother's dress, or to teach them how to clean and preserve tL Havlng come to thls polnt on my own, I would now llke to spend time wlth an adult who would be willing to share wtth me hls or her knowledge about antlque clothtng and texdles. It would be a dream come trre to work at a museum wlth a costume collectlon and a curator who would be Mlling to share hls or her tlme and talerrt wlth me. It's true that most major museurns olfer lnternshlps, but the ones they set up for teenagers are usually very mundane belng a cashler at the museum store, or runnlng errands. They only offer the speclfic kind of tnternshlp I am looldng for to graduate students or professionals. Thls is frustratlng for me because I have come to the potnt ln my studles of andque clothing where I am looldng at a very speclallzed axea, as speciallzed as any graduate studenfs. Yet because ofrny age I do not have a chance to work with someone wtlltng to help me. One way ln whlch adults can be very helpful to young people ls ln openlng

doors. Getttng past the 'front desk' is almost imposstble for me. All adults see ts the number 17, and they slam the door ln

my face. It's not fatr that I'm not even gfven the chance to prove myself. I know that tf an adult frtend of rnlne had not recommended my fashlon show to her friends I would not have been able to start. Now that I'm somewhat well-known ln mv area, I have no problem adverttslng myself, but in the begtnning I needed the word of an adult. Even now, I am ln a sltuatlon that is very tric$. About a month ago I offered to help the local htstortcal soctet5r wlth their costume collectlon. I talked with their director, who was more than happy to have me be their advtsor, but he doesn't know how old I am. He assumed that I had

graduated from college, because he asked me what I dtd for a livlng. I sald something about my fashton shows and that seemed to satisff trim. I really dread the moment that I will have to tell htm how old I am. Will he be angry? Wtll he ldck me out? I sure hope not, but I don't know. Supporttve experlences wlth adults have been extremely lmportant to me. When I was livlng tn England I thought of an ldea for earrlngs uslng magnets. I didn't know where to get magnets strong enougfr, so I asked a family friend, David. He ls an astrophyslclst at Oxford whom we got to know through correspondence with another of his frlends who's about my age. David told me what kind of magnets to use, but he said hewasn't sure if I would be able to llnd any, and even tf I could, whether they would work or not. The next thing I knew, a package arrlved tn the mail for me, from David, wtth two of the grye of magnets I had becn looking for,

headset. Artazlngly enough the magnets worked, and both Davld and I were very

Later on, when I uras vlstttng Callfornla, I went to the patent ltbrary tx Santa Clara and found that a company tn Rhode Island had patented magnetlc earrlngs in the l96o's. I was sttll proud of myself, though, because I knew that for all lntents and purposes I had lnvented the earrlngs. But wlthout David's help and encpuragement, I would never have been able to find out lf my lnvenUon worked. Even though Davtd ts a theoretlcal astrophyslclst, he felt that my ideas were lmportant and urorthwhtle, and he never made me Gel that he was tallidng down to me. I espectally enJoy hearlng adults tell thelr own storles, One such opportuntty I shall treasure for a long whlle was the tlme I spent with my elderly relatives ln England. They brought alive for me a way

of ltfe that I never reallzed exlsted, and that I soon dlscovered nras fast dtsappearlng ln Britaln. They appreclated my lnterest as much as I appreclated thetr storles. Hearlng from them about the trtstory of

Brttatn in the twendeth century nras better than readlng a hundred textbooks.

RECOGNITION FOR KNOWL. EDGE AND ABILITIES F}om Jeremloh Gingdd (CN: Even though I am not golng to be a teâ&#x201A;Źnager untll this sununer, I am already rec-ogniztng some of the thtngs that I am golng to need from adults as I grow older. The matn thing that has helped me to reallze my needs as an 'almost teen' has been belng In Boy Scouts. I have nowbeen ln Boy Scouts for a year and over that tlme I have learned a lot about what lt ts gotng to take to be an independent, responslble person, and what I'm gotng to need from adults so that I can learn to be that ktnd of person. In Boy Scouts every month I go on campfurg and hildng trtps that my parents don't usually go on, so I have had to learn

to fend for myself. I thtnk that I need adults to let me make my own decislons and rnlstakes. I don't $et) shun my parents; I stlll need

them to be there for me when I need them. Another thing about Boy Scouts ts the recognition that I get for my knowledge and abtlities. I think that I need more recognltlon as a human belng from adults. I have longlsh halr and grownups are

constantly mistaktng me for a glrl. I thtnk that a lot of grownups unconsclously don't really thtnk of liids as belng on the same level of humanit5r; therefore they tend to stereotype kids by such attributes as their halr, face, etc. So, above all, I thtnk I need to be recognized as a diverse human being.

BEING ACCEPTED IN COMMUNITY THEATRE Ftom Emm(r Robâ&#x201A;Ź]fts (W):

I always want adults' frtendshtp. I llke to be friends with adults Just as much as with ldds. I feel that I learn a lot from my relationships wtth adults. For lnstance, Just listenlng to thelr oonversa-

GROWING WITHOI.]T SCHOOLING #68

2l Uons, lt lnter€sts me to hear what happened to them when they were my a€le or what llfe was llke when they wer€ young. I also feel I can ask questlons of adults. My

mom and dad always talk about En$and. I have been there hvlce and I always ask quesflons about llfe there. My dad was born ln En$and and grew up there, so I lorrc to hear about hls ctrtldhood. I learn more about people by ltstentng to thetr storles. There ls an 8o-somethlng-yearold lady tn my tov,rn who ls full of storles about when she was young. She uras taught at home for a whlle and I always learn somethlng new about my town or her llfe when I see her. I love to work wtth adults, too. I act a lot ln our local communlty theatre, and I get a lot of e:rperlence worktng wtth adults ln theatre, Ttrls past lvlarch I was ln Brlghton Beach Menolrs. I was the only ldd under 16 tn the cast. Betng wtth all those adults really gave me a professlonal feeltng. The adults werle so serlous and Itfty lidds nrer€n't runntng around maldng nolse. I felt that the play was more reallstlc than a bunch of Hds on stage standtng around watUng to say thetr lines. When I am In a play wtth other ktds I want to hang around and play wtth the other klds and not really watch the pl"y and pay attentlon. That ls nlce too, but I don't feel

professlonal.

I'm currently ln Tle Vehteteen Rabb|l

with my mom. This lsn't as good an

experlence. There are only llve adults,

counflng my mom, and about ftfty kfds. I don't hane reladonstrtps wtth many of these adults, so I haven't really gotten anytlrtng from them llke I dtd ln Br{ghton fuaclt From all adults I Just want to be treated as an equal, and accepted by them even

if I'm a ktd. AcUng wtth adults ls a good way for thts to happen, because we're all worklng together.

SECURITY GUARD IS UNFAIR F\om Robelt l{ent (D0:

The only ttrtng I want from adults ts to be treated fafrly, wtth respect. There ls a securlty guard at the local Safeuray. I go

there to read Radlo Electronlcs fatrly often, and when I do the guard paces back and forth ln front of me, and glves me the wil eye, I noilcc, howerrer, that he lgnores the adults ln the corner hunched over Mad. Magazhe and swlmsutt tablolds. I thtnk that thls ls extreme\r unfalr. Why am I, reading perfectly soctally ac.ceptable and lnformadve matertal, ptcked out for hls loathsome and qmtcal attentlons?

tlon from adults, I have found lt most successfulwhen lt was easy to strlke up a frtendshtp wtth them, whtch has malnly depended on how the person looked at young people. I haven't always made frlends wlth adults rtght away. For example, I had long had an lnterest ln learnlng to weanre. One day I attended an open house

at a local shop that offered weavtng lessons, wlth rrry mother and my younger brother and slsters. As we explored the

weavtng rmm wlth all lts equtpment and supplles, we were enthuslastlcally greeted by the dtrector of the qreavlng program, who was thrtlled to learn of my lnterest ln weavtng and eager to slgn me up for classes. Nerdless to say, I was ecstadc. However. when I met the lnstructor after havlng stgned up for slx weeks of classes, she quickly lnformed me that her only other experlence wlth teachlng anyone other than an adult (l was l2 then) was unsailsfactory and unsuccessful. In splte of her reluctance, I dectded to go ahead wtth the lessons, gtving her the benellt of the doubt (whtch I hoped she would also give mel). As lt tumed out, by the end of the flrst lesson she was more than sadsffed that her lnstructlon would not be wasted on me, and by the end of the slx weeks she was braggtng to other weavlng lnstructors about her twelve-year-old student who was able to weave as qutckly and slidllfully as any of her adult students after slx weeks of lnstructlon. What made the experlence successful for me was that she became my friend, and to me that uras as important as ffndlng an lnstructor or leamtng to weave. Although she has since moved from the area, we keep ln touch, and whenever she's ln town we like to get together. Another example ts the friendship that has dweloped between my famtly and our neighbors who recently retlred and are now traveling ln Europe. Because ofour frtendshtp and thelr knowledge of my lnterest in people and other countrles, they have corresponded regularly with me throughout thelr travels. Besldes pages of descrlptlons of the people and placcs they have seen, they have sent plctures and postcards, whlch are better and more lnterestlng than any social shrdles, htstory, or geography textbooks. My grandfather ls another adult who provldes me wlth ldeas, lnformadon and enthuslasm from hls own lnterests. He reads a lot, and enJoys stamp collectlng, keeping up on current events and polittcs,

photography, learntng other languages, fiamtly and world hlstory, listenlng to all $rpes of muslc, and worklng on crossword pvzzles. Because he doesn't conslder me of lower intelllgence, he lncludes me in conversations about all these thlngs. He's helpful to me slmply by betng hlmself

with

DEPENDS bN HOW THEY LOOK AT YOUNG PEOPLE Flom Kirn Kopel (MO): Adults have become tmportant tn my Itfe llrst by betng my frtends, treaflng me as an equal. And In getttng to lmow each one, I learned of sldlls and experlenccs they could olfer that lnterested me. When I have had to seek out lnstruc-

me.

I also appreclate the opportunity some adults have gtven me to pardclpate tn the adult world as an equal. For lnstance, when I vlslt my grandmother, who manages a ca.feteria for the telephone company, she ls eager to include me in any ofthe work that needs to be done ln the caGterla that I can be oart of. One side benellt of thts has been seeing how favorably adults respond to young pmple at work ln thetr world. Besldes learning how the cafeterla operates, I've learned that

GRO\IIING WITHOUI SCHOOLING #64

betng able to work wtth people is at least as lrnportant as the skill of phystcally rnanagtng to serve two hot meals a day to

hundreds ofpeople. Another adult who ls helplng me ls Susannah Sheffer. By sharing her skills and experlence ln wrlting, she ts helptng me dwelop and lmprove my own wrl[ng. Because Susannah treats me as an equal, and answers all my quesilons openly,

honestly, and respectfully, I feel comfortable showtng her my wrtung wlthout belng concemed that my thoughts or ldeas or my manner of expresslng myself wtll be put down or dtsregarded. Susannah understands that wrtttng requires stncerity and sensttlvtty on the part of the reader. She offers me the opportuntty to exPress myself wtthout fear of reJectlon and at the same ume ollers meaningful suggestlons for tmprovlng my wrtting. I don't feel any dilferently toward adults now, at 14, than I ever have. Betng a teenager has not changed my feellngs towards adults - I sdll feel that everyone is a human betng, and some human belngs have more e:cperlence than others. Whether or not someone was helpful to me alwafs depended on how thcy treated

ffi1

WE HAD TO PROVE OURSELVES Ftom Amanda .Elergson-Shilcrk (PA):

I think teenagers want to be beated as the age they are - they don't want to be treated as lf they're grown up and have too

much responsibility, and they also don't want to be treated like an 8 year old because th.y't" ready for more responslbtltty than tftaL Teenagers also want adults to be sympathedc to when they want to be alone, and when they need to talk over a problem they want to know that they have someone who ls wtlltng to llsten. I thtnk that teenagers someflmes want mor€ attenUon and time than adults are wtlltng to gfve, and somedmes teenagers are wtlltng to glve more than the adults expect or want" Sometlmes they're helpful at the wrong flmes, for example. But this ls true of erreryone. Teenagers want to be able to have their own friendships without people saying, 'Why don't you make frtends wtth thts gtrl, we're frlends with her parents," or something like that. I don't ltke to feel that I should (or should not) llke somebody. One recent example I've had of betng accepted by adults ls at a splnning oourse. The course was for adults only, but my mom had told me and my younger slster about lt and we sald we were tnterested ln taktng tt, so she called tn and asked lf we could. The people told her that the course lnvolves a lot more than Just learnlng how to use a splnnlng wheel. The teacher also le.ctures about things related to splnntng, and thev weren't sure that we would be able to ilsten to the lectures. My mom told them that shewould come wlth us and help usout. We didn't love the course the llrst week - werybody was sort of unsure of themselves at lirst - but after that we got

22 more comfortable and

got better. We

learned how to use the drop spindle, and about cardlng wool, and a whole lot of other stulf, and then we went on to learn how to use the spinningwheel. We really enJoyed and appreclated the fact that werybody tn the group accepted us, as if we belonged there. At the same Ume, I think it was a little unfair that the course was open to adults only, so any adult could get in, butwe had to prove ourselves. I thfnk that tf an adult shows a teenager respect and consideratlon, the teenager wlll respond by being able to take on more responstbility. I really thtnk tfs a two-way thing. If you keep saying, "Oh, my teenager's such a handful, I'm having such trouble," you can't expect your teenager to do helpful things for you ln return.

TREATED AS AN EQUAL BY GERMAN TEACHER Flom Sharf Brcn1.freld oJ Pervtsglvaniu Bastcally, I want to be respected by adults. A great example of an adult who treats me with respect is my German teacher. She has never acted like she has to stoop to my level or talk down to me. We decide together how much I will study between lessons. She has always treated me as an equal. That ls how I hope all

adults u/iil treat me.

LEARN TO COMMUNICATE WITH ALL TYPES F)om Mlcleile Edwotds oJ Mintesota:

I'm 17, and for the past eight months have been attendtng Hennepin Technical Insdtute here in Mlnnesota, working towards a degree in Commerclal Photography. I graduated high school when I was 16 0 was homeschooled for I lth and l2th grades) and a month later I started at Hennepin Tech. There is a wide age range in my class, from me at 17 to a man in his fortles. IVe told various people at school how old I am and you wouldn't believe how surprlsed they are. I get treated with a lot of respect from my teachers and other adults at school because I act in a mature and responsible way. This is how you should act by the timeyou get to be 17, I

think.

The adults that have helped me most

in my life are my parents. They help me as much as they can but also expect me to stand on my own two feet and do things for myself as much as possible, If they don't knorrt the answer to a question I have, we Iind someone who does. My sister leonie (15, also homeschooled) and I have always had responsibilities at home which I think has helped prepare me for taking on responslbllides at college. One thlng you are never taught tn school ls to think for yourself, The teacher does the thinking and you must do as he or she says without quesflon. IVe found that college is very dilferent ln that most students there are adults and are obviously treated as such. I thtnk the bestway to be treated as an adult by other adults ls to learn to communicate well wtth all types of people and

people of all different ages. Thts ls another thing you ale never taught to do ln school. I think homeschoolers have a better chanc.e to learn to communicate well and at an earlier age because they are wlth a better mlx of people,

TEENAGERS DOING REAL WORK

ARE RESPECT AND CIVLITY TOO MUCH TO ASK?

WORKCAMP PROJECT

F\am Stephanle Brcqfield oJ Pennsglvania:

I've grown up reading GWS, to my great beneflt. I'm so glad GWS was there

Beth Kaseman NW) writes:

when I started homeschooling ten years

I don't want to be treated dlfferentlv-

by adultsJust because I'm a teenager.

REFINISHINGAHOUSE-A

don't want extra help or sympathy. I don't want someone to take me by the hand and show me how the world works. I thtnk everyone needs to learn that on their own. All I really want from adults ls respect and

civility.

However, it seems that respect and civility are too much to ask from some people. A good e:rample would be my llrst employers. They were a couple ln their late 5O's who owned and operated a fast food

restaurantJust up the road from our home. I worked for them for three days ln March of last year. I felt I was ready for some extra responsibility, and I thought some extra money would be nice, too. I was excited about being employed for the first tlme and I was determlned to do a goodJob. But I was soon dlsappolnted. It became clear that while my employers wanted new help, they were too lmpadent to teach me how to do my job. They constantly complained to me about the inconvenienc'e of trainlng someone new, and made me fecl like a burden instead of a help. I worked three hours each day during their busiest hours. These three days were supposed to be my tralnin!. By the third day I was supposed to be able to do everything. I was told that I would be runningl the restaurant alone by summertime. My employers' attitude tmplted that they were doing me a favor by employlng me. The truth was that there were plenty ofjobs available and they were having a hard time llnding people to work for them. They would tell me or show me how to do something only once. I asked them to repeat some instructions, but they refused. Since they resented havlng to teach me how to do myJob, I trted to do as much work as I could without asldng for instructions. But they lnsisted I do errerything a certain, precise way, so when I did things on my owrr, like throwtng out plastic bags, I was yelled at for not knowing that they saved them. They yelled at me ln front of customers, and had conversaflons while I was ln the room about how shrpid they thought I was. In short, they did everything they could to wreck my self-esteem. Fortunately, because of slmllar experiences ln public school, I realized how important self-esteem is, and I qutt. I respected myself too much to subJect myself to that kind of mistreatment.

But itwas because of thls rather unpleasant experience that I realized what I want from adults ls respect. I treated my employers with respect and civility all the while I worked for them. I don't thtnk tt was too much to ask to be treated the same wav.

ago, because not much elsewas. Over the years I have felt like one of a very, very small number of homeschoolers, But desplte the lack of close friends nearby (I have a number ofgood frlends scattered all over the world, Just not around here), I am $ad I only went to kindergarten and Iirst grade. After I left the institutlon, I hit the road toward freedom, maturtty, and an turteresting (in all ldnds of ways - good and

bad) Me. As I look at myself now, at 17, I

realize Just how luclcy I am to have been homeschoollng all these years. It has

opened so nurny doors of opportunlt5r for me. I'm so glad to see the numberof homeschoolers lncreasing - lt's a great way to gSowupl l,ast summer I spent three weeks ln New Hampshire on a Servlce Ctvll International workcamp (SCI is an organiza-

tton worklng toward peace througfr lnternational understandtreg|. I wanted to do something for peace, and at the same ume meet people who shared my ldeals and concerns and fromwhom I could learn. I also wanted to explore a dlfferent part of the country and to spend flme away from my loving family, in order to grow It was a great way for me to be lndependent without needing to spend a lot of money (I

had to pay for my plane ticket, but afGr that SCI had r:atsed enough money for food, suppltes, and a Iittle entertainment) or having my mother worrying about my safet5r (too much).

An SCI workcamp usually ls a service project for a community group ln need of support and labor. In this camp .r /e were relinishlng the outslde of a house for unwed teenage mothers. The house ls owned by an org.rnization called Hannah House. The house ttself has space for six mothers and thelr babies to llve until the baby ts nine months old. It also has a daycarâ&#x201A;Ź room and an outreach program for a hundred teen parents in Vermont and New Hampshire. Hannah House had some money for refinishing, but not enouglr for all the patnting, etc. that needed to be done. So, SCI provided the labor. The camp wasn't all work. One advantage to painung, etc. ls that after seven to elght hours of hard Labor, Labor. you walk vou can walk awav and easily away easilv foreet forget it. it, thus leavlnq leavlng time for other things. In our case we spent our after-hours and weekends traveling and explorlng the communit5r we were Itvtng in. We also spent a lot of flme on our "study proJect' - medlation. TWo tralned medlators helped us dlscuss and role-play dilferent sifuations. Our group conslsted of fourtecn people from five countrles, and the role-play brought out sigyrillcant national differences. For example, when we werâ&#x201A;Ź actlng out a scene where two

GROIWING WITHOUI SCHOOLING #68

mothers - to 4l years) was wtdel5r spread over the spectrum. I was the youngest of the people there rvlthout a pa.rent. Ftrat fn itself was somethlng new for me. I'm the oldest of four and very used to tt.) t really enjoyed lt because we all treated each other as equals rather than letttng the ages bother or dlvlde us. I was the only homeschooler, but both

Commonwealth and attemptlng to absorb the Wetlands Protectlon Act. He leamed that only 5 percent of the town's rernalnlng open space and only 2.2 acres of the I 7acrc slte were llsted as butldable. He had found trls weapon. Andrew marshaled hls facts lnto a taut ar€lument and sent letters to the btggest guns he could tdenttff - hls leglslators and BostonTVanchor people. He then called Massachusetts Audubon's Informatlon Servlces for guldance. Impressed by ttrts young man's potse and knowledge, the Soctety's Dorothy Arvldson was blunt wlth hfm. She sald lt was useless to wrlte Washington, as he had planned, He needed to work locally attend town board meettngs, rally hts netghbors, wrlte to area newspapers. A heavy sllence followed. "But I'm only twel're years oldl' he

ofthe other lTyearolds accepted thls,

blurted.

unllke a lot of other school ktds my age. I think they didn't feel threatened by me (not that I appear threatentng; I Just thtnk that a lot of 'typfcal' teenagers feel lnsecure and consequently threatened by

tng, 'That's no excusel'and conflnulng her lnstmcflons.

housemates were dtsputlng the dlstrlbu-

tion of labor tn their household, we found that the term'housemates' meant stmply sharing livlng space to the Amertcans, but to the Europeans lt meant shartng tn a much more communal way. The relafionshlps wtthtn the group were a lot deeper than I had e:<pected. We all came from dlfferent backgrounds, and €arerythtng down to our ages (18 months there were three chlldren wtth thetr

peers who are dtlferent). The rest of the

group sermed not to let my homeschoollng background have any effect on thelr vlew of me, exc.ept for two people who dld seem toJudge me somewhat. But they soon appeared to feel that I could stand on my own two feet, and quft bdngfng tt up. cotng lnto the workcamp, I hadn't been surewhatto e)<pect. Butlwas feeltng restless, so I struck out on adventure that turned out to be a total success. I would have preferred to stay longer, but SCI camps usually run two to three weeks, and

Stunned (she had guessed hlm to be college age at least) Arvldson recalls sayEach day after school, Andrew set oIL door-to-door, wlth hts pedtlon to collect slgnahrres. People llstened carefully, asked challengtng quesflons, then tevartably stgned... lpwell's newspaper Ttre Sun reported the story of'a 12 year old wtlltng to challenge lauryers, archltects and englneers.... What endre commtttees ln other communldes have been charged to do wtth slmllar proposals,' lt crowed, "Holleman ts dotng on hls own.' ...Over 25O people appeared for

Shanahan's forum on October 21, LgA7, far more than the flfty households he had

I had nerrer been away from home for more than a week at a tlme before that. For more Informaflon about SCI, wrtte: SCI USA, Intsfree Vtllage, Rt 2 Box

tnvtted... People remlnded the derreloper repeatedly that tt was Andreu who had invtted most of them, and they were not

5O6, CrozetVA22S32.

and assurances... ...Andrew llnally spoke. He rec.elved what The Sun reported as 'thunderous applause.' Recalls netghbor Pat Saber, -That Hd really took that developer on. He stood up there and challenged hlm on the facts, and he'd done hls homework. He spoke agatnst destrucfion, for the rtghts of

BECOMING AN ENVIRON. MENTAL ACTIVIST Whg do ue devlse uagsJor gortng

people to klII tfne wlvn theg anid fu dohg real tmprtrrnt usork? Here, Jrcm tle Decentfur 1988 lssue oJSanchrary magozlne, ts one story abo,ut agoutg

Wrsonulrousas deternind to do sone.

ilnng real and. Ilr.prtrrnt: TIE artlcb opens ulth a descrlptlon dewloper Joseph Shanahan's plans to build a cr:rrdomlr&tm conplex on urodland tn lour;lL Massachusetts. He sent

reglstered letters to

pple

ln the sur-

tound/urg area" tulTltg tlem to .tn open Jontm at uhlch the propsd. dewbpment would. be discussed Tte artlclc conttnues:

Cheryl Holleman [a local resldent] showed [her l2-year-old sonl Andrew t]re dweloper's letter. She recalls hls lmmedtate response. 'No roay th.y't gonna do thds here. That land Is too wet. Ifll ldll the wildlife and pollute the pond and the water supply.'Then, ln an urgent tone, he added: 'IVe got to do somethlng.' His mother told htm that he'd better do some research flrst, so he asked for a ride to the library, When she rehrrned for him tqrc hours later, he was surrounded by the towrr's Master Plan and was deeply immersed ln the annotated Laws of the

appeased by the developer's concesslons

chlldren, and for the future. Everyone's always complalntng about ldds livlng tn front of the TV, yet adults are too busy worklng today to pa,y attention. It took someone ltke Andrew to make the nelghborhood aware that tt needed to do something for tts kids - to stand up and

frght." The Concord Road Netghborhood Assocladon formed soon thereafter, Andew and hts father werc on the twelvemember worldng commlttee... lwhtchl ratsed $16,OOO for an attorney and an

attt-ttrnsnral consultant.

Together,

Andrew and hls father made vtdeos of the terraln, whlch became cruclal for brleflng nelghbors, experts, and town ofllclals over the long wlnter ahead... That fall Andrew wrote letters to edltors... spoke on radlo shows, gave lleld tours, and taught ecologr to local fourth graders tn his old elemen-

taqr school. [The arttcle concludes by saytng that Shanahan's permtt was denled ln the sprtng of 1988, when tests determlned that the slte could not support a sewage system.l

GRO\ryING WITHOUT SCHOOLING #68

CHILDREN IN THE WORKPLACE ALL AGES TOGETHER IN FAMILY STORE

*hadel urcte bt ttre February tle CENTRAL NEW YORK HOME-

Karen Issue o;f

SCHOOIxRS newsletten My husband Ed has always operated hls own buslnesses, and for the past ten years he has had a woodstove/flreplace and energr retall store. I used to be more dtrectly lnvolved wlth our Past buslnesses, but have not been as acdve on any ldnd of regular basts with thls one. Now that Caleb ts nearly 2, I am beginnlng to work at the store one day aweek, ...One of my flrst obserrratlons has been the reactlon of the customers to chtldren ln the store. I can honestly say that nearly everyone ls poslflvely alfected by Caleb's presence. Nearly all of the customers will comment about hlm to us or actually spedr to trim. They all have dillerent levels of relatlng to htm and Caleb responds dtfferently to them as well. I really enJoy thls uray of corununicadng wtth the customers and llnd that the presence of ctrlldren ls very often an lcebreaker afrordtng us a common and unrelated-to-the-buslness way of spealdng wlth one another. We have always kept books and a basket of toys avallable ln the store for whenever we were vistttng, and these toys serve as an entertalnment center for customers who bdng ln chlldren of their own. On occaslon lt does Present a problem as Caleb is not at an age where he can always readtly share hts toys, but gener:ally thls ts easll5r resolved due to the number of different toys avatlable... Caleb was tnstant$ fasctnated by the cash reglster. He has mastered rnany of the steps necessar5r to operate lt. For lnstance, he can push the corect key for opening the money drawer, and he does so r€gularly as the cash reglster udU rtng each tlme the drawer ls opened and he s€ems to enJoy the sound lt makes. ...We have been golng to the storc on a regular basls for onf a short pertod of tlme, but already Caleb has figured out how to sort the change into the proPer compartments ln the cash regtster drawer. He started by mldng all the change together and thts was atl actlvtty that I allowed hlm to do whtle I vras busy wtth customers or on the phone. Soon, though, I nodced that he was capable of sorflng the mtxed change back Into the correct sPots... When a cash sale is made, I rtng up the corr€ct amount and lnstmct Caleb to press the'total" button. He loves to help tn this way and wants to gtve the customers ttrelr change and sales recelpt" When the sale ls complete he waves good-bye and throws kisses to everyone. No one leaves wlthout a smile on thelr face. Since cleanlng ls a nerrer-ending Job all the ldds have always helped clean the storc. They are usually more wllling to clean at tlre store than at home. This ls probably due to the fact that they are not requlred to work at the store on a re€iular basls, yet they are required to perform

thelr chores at home routlnely. ...All the ctrlldren help put away and price merchandls€. Thls ls a very useful servicre as ltems are frequent\r underprlced because we don't have tlrrrc to do thisJob. Joshua, who ts 12, helps by answerlng the telephone, screenlng calls, relaying lnformation, asldng and answerlng slmple questlons, and asslsttng customers as best he can. Sometimes thls merely involves telllng someone the hours we are open, but lt ls very useful slnc€ neither Ed nor I need to be tntermpted by a phone call when we are wlth a custotner, To my knowledge no one has yet r€atlzed over the phone that Joshua is only 12, or lf they have, they havent volced any obJecflon to or concern wtth lrts worktng in thts capactty. ...Seth and Sadrah have aluravs used Ed's olllce supplles. When they wdre toddlers, ltke Caleb, they vrere fasctnated with hts sales counter and all its goodles. They have access to all these materlals (stapler, marlidng pens, mbber stamps, paper note pads, etc.) at home , but somehow uslng them at Daddy's Store has ahvays been more exclting. Joshua was qulte lnterested when Ed acqutred a new cash register. He read

don't care what age he ls. It ls lnhuman for anybody to work long hours ln the hot sun

ln stooped labor, as they do ln many of the lndustrtal farms of our southwest. It ls

lnhurnan to do harrd work for grossly lnsuf[clent \vages, to be cpndemned to llve ln dreadful condltlons. Thls ts lnhuman for adults as well as chlldren. What ls bad about the chtld labor of earller tlmes or some parts of our own times is that the chlldren were cnnscrlpted lnto labor. As I am opposed to school conscrlptlon, I am equally opposed to work conscrlptton. Not only that, but they weren't even able to keep the money they earned. They were pressed lnto s€rvlce because of the mlserable poverty of thetr

parents, and thelr rnon€y uras lnstantly taken from them. I don't approve of any of thls, as I have made perfectly clear ln my u/rldng. I thhk lt ls a dlsgrace that ln a coun\r as rlch as thls we ha\rc the amount of poverty we do, and I thtnk that for the very health ofour soul and our polidcal

systemwe must and should make a lt ls a polldcal declslon, to end povert5l, e:<actly as the

poliflcal declsion, and

Scandlnavlan countrles and other natlons far poorer than we are ln resources have ended lt. But thls ls a polttlcal decision that calls for pollttcal, soclal, and economlc measur€s. The countrles that have ended povert5r have not done tt by messtng bround ln the schools and by making people go to school Ionger. It ls a cowardly waslon of our responslbtllty, and a most cruel deception ofthe poor, to pretend that the dreadful poverty that we have ln thls country ls an educational or school problem that can be changed by thtngs done ln schools. I want to create a situatlon ln whtch a chtld will have no r€ason for worliilng except that he wants the erperlence of worlidng or wants to earn some money which he wtll keep and use for his own purposes, and anythtng I say about the right of children to work has to be seen in that cantexL

HOW FAMILIES MAKE DECISIONS: TWO DISCUSSIONS

through the lnstrucHon manual and trled to determlne how to program our state sales tax lnto tt. Although netther Ed nor .Joshua could ftgure tt out (a servlce person was needed), Joshua did program tn the date and dme and taught el and me several other functlons that he had ptcked up wtrile gotng through the manual. He seemed to have tlre ireteres! time, and

enthusiasm to plod through the testrucfion manual, somethtng both Ed and I often flnd tedlous. We expect to put the business onto a computer system ln the near future, and Joshua plans on belng dtrectly lnvolved ln thts proJect. He wlll be responslble for installtng the system and getting lt to an operadonal lerrel. Then he and I wtll consult wtth Ed and try to put together a management progtram that will meet hls needs.

JOHN HOLT ON EXPLOITA.

TION T'crIl<W abut children In the unrkplace canrfu Hclcg because use sdll laue, as Segnaur Papert said tn GII4S #65, "ttr tlE strodou oJ tle Nheteenth-Cenhtry eryloitation' oJ chlldren in suratshops

adJfeWs.

So sensltiue ore

possrbitfty oJ child la}r;rr

tIe

h the erylloXa-

sense tlvt u.te'ue made X diniicult, atd sometirnes tmpossibl,e, Jor childten to work at all, ersen ulen ttey uant or need to. The JollowW ptece oJ unpudlshed writing bg Jolvt Hott mng help clarlfg

tirr

some oJ

tlvse issues,'

...I'm the ffrst to admit that child

labor as we knew tt ln the Nlneteenth Century, and as we still see tt tn some of our mlgrant labor camps, ls lnhuman. But what made lt Inhuman ls notJust that these poor, dellcate, angelic ctrildren were doing it. It was lrrhuman for everybody who did lt. It is lnhuman for anybody to work sixteen hours a day ln a coal mlne, I

ISS:I I taped a dlscussion with Peggy and Emma Roberts, Massachusetts homeschoolers who often volunteer ln our office, about how their family makes declslons. Inevitably, the discussion turned to all sorts of other lssues, many of whtch we thought would be interestlxg to GWS readers. I then sent a transcript of our dlscusslon to Dlana and Oltvia Baseman in Pennsylvania. Diana and Olivia recorded their thoughts about what PegSr and Emma had said, to give another family's perspective. Dtana's and Ollvia's comments, ln their entirety, follow Peggr's and Emma's, so you mayflred that as you read you wlll want to move back and forth between the two dlscussions. We welcome further responses to the quesdons dlscussed here. things, ltke asking to go somewhere.

OPENING DISCUSSION

Surannah:

Susannah: Are you the sort of famtly that holds meetings to decide things? Pcgg5/: WeVe

I can tmagtne that it

mlght be hard havlng trvo adults and one chlld - Emma mtght feel outnumbered.

trled quite a few timesl

We often meet about lood - what we're going to eat. We tend to go ln cycles. We

Pcg$r: I think one of the ways that we deal wtth that ls that her vote sort of counts double - its welght ls equal to the two of ours. The problem with three people ts that if things get dtvided lt's two against

won't meet about anythlng for a while, and ttren someone wlll be upset with the

one.

Sruannah: How do you make sure that you get heard ln a dlscussion like

Emna: Sometimes tt's Daddy and me agalnst Mom, wtth things like the TV. That's a big problem ln our house. Mom doesn't ltke TV at all. She won't let me watch any of the good stuff ..

way thtngs are golng ln some area, and then we'll talk about lt and work somethlng out.

that, Emma?

Emma: I used to ralse my handl But usually I walt unfll theyVe stopped talking, or untll we're at the dlnner table and we're all there - then I sav what I want them to hear.

PcgS/: You mean the Junk stufl? That's what happens, Emma wtll say, 'Mom, I know it's Junk, and lt's not going to corrupt me because I know lt'sJunk.'

Susannrh:

remember Geling the

same thing as a chtld.

Peggr: Do you feel hke you don't get heard, like we don't hear what your wishes are?

Emma: I don't thtnk I'rre ever come across something that I really wanted that I had to ask for. Usually it's Just little

Pcggn We have the same dlscussion about books, too. I remember the letter ln GWS from the mother who was worried because her daugfiterwas only readtng romance novels, Emma recently got an adult library card - they make a dlstlnc-

GROWING WITHOUT SCHOOLING #68

25 tion ln our libraql between those under 12 and those over - and she lmmedlately took out a bunch of Sweet Valley Hfgh books [teenage romance novelsl. I satd, 'What are you reading?'and she sald, 'Mom, you told me that when I got rny adult llbrary card I could read these books.' I satd, 'I dld?'Alrd then she potnted out the books that she would conslder Junlry that I someflmes read.

tadon lt came up that the man had had a homeschooled chtld hlmsclf, so Emma was tmmedtately very frtendly wtth htm, and mendoned that she was alone a lot, When I heard about thts tt set offall my alarms. She trusted trlm, but I was tr5rtng to explatr why tt made me nenrous to thtnk that somewhere out there there's a Federal Express man who knows that she's alone a lot.

Surenneb: How does tt happen that Emmas alone a lot? What's the structure

Su:annah: Dtd you know she was gotng to mtnd that you took out those

books, Emma?

ofyour

Emma: No, because she had satd I could take them out when I got my adult library card. When I take out books ltke that I thtnk, "These are dumb and trashy, but I ltke to read them, lt's fun to see what's ln them and to laugh at them.' But I don't take them out of the ltbrary any more, not because ofMom but because th.y'.. so badly wrttten, and nothlng dillerent ever happens. After I read one I usually ptck up another Hnd of book, ltke Heldt or somethlng.

Emmr: Mom goes off to work at 6:30 tn the mornlng, and then Daddy learres at 8:3O - he worksJust up the road - and Mom comes home at about noon, so I'm alone durtng the momlngs. I usually read or

Susannah: Do you feel ltke you have a lot ofrules ln your house?

Enm&: Hardly at all. Surannah: How do you lorow what would be frowned on? Just from knowlng your mother really well?

E-ma: And from thlngs IVe done ln the past that have made her say, 'I don't like that, Emma-' If I'm dolng somethtng, llke eating Junk food, I'll thtnk, 'Mom wouldn't llke me dotng tlrls.' Suranneh: Do you ever llnd out you'r€ wrong, that you thouglrt shed rrtnd something when in fact she doesnt? Emma: Yesl One tlmeJust recently, I thought Mom wouldn t let me go sltding on our hill, when lt was really lcy, but she said it u/as ffne.

Susannah: And you mlght not have known that lt was OK wtth her lf you hadn't asked, I guess. PcSgr: One thing about spendlng so much tlme together ts that wtrlle we know each other really well, we also make assumpdons that aren't alurays tnre, I remember the ttme you dtdn't want to talk about somethtng, Emma, and I was rrcry inslstent, I thought it qras very tmportant thatyou talk to me about lt. It turned out that the reason you dtdn't want to talk about it then was that you thought lt would make you cry and mess up the way you looked before you went to dance class. It had nerrer occurred to me that thatwas what was going on.

Susannah: Do you - Peg$ - ever s€ry, 'I know more about that, so I'm gotng to make the declslon"? Pcgg5n Yesterday Emma was alone

the house and the Federal Express man came, and he said, "No school todaf?'and Emma explatned that she was homeschooled, and ln the course of the conver-

da5?

Play.

up posslbtllfles for us. Of course, lt's evolved gradually.

At the beglnntng of

the

year, Mom sald, 'We'll Just bc rcla:edr we won't do any strlct stuff." Then at about November she started saylng, 'We'vc got to do thls, we've got to do that." I sald, "Rememb€r, you sald we were golng to be reln-ed?""

Surenneh: Do you ever have conlllcts about how much schoolworh In the tradlttonal sens€, you'ne going to do? Emme: At the beginntng of the year, Mom sald, 'We'll Just be relaxed, we won't do any strlct stuff.'Then at about November she started saytng, 'We've got to do this, weVe got to do that.' I said, 'Remember, you sald we were gotng to be relaxed?' She satd, 'Oh, rtght,'and she's been pretty OKeverslnce,

Surannah: What ldnds of thtngs have you been dotng?

Emma: We went on a trlp to Kentuc$, and I've been ln two communlty plays thts wlnter, and taken danc.e classes... Pcgg5rr WeVe been havtng a I admtt I do get nervousl

seemed to go on and on, and we never

really seemed to decide thtngs well.

. Ollvla: I always consldered them rather borlng. I'd rather talk to my parents one at a ttme, or both of them at the dinner table, llke Emma said. And we have so many dllferent people to contend wlth - there's always a baby cqdng - so ifs hard to c€nc€ntrate ln a meetlng. Dlana: In our fam$ when a declslon needs to be made lt tends to be brought up around the dlnner table, because that's when we're all together. I gu.ess some people mtght conslder that a meetlng, but

type of thtng?

Emma: I'd say, "If I have to do thts, maybe I can do tt thts way, or can I do somethlng else wtth te' I rnfght say, for

'I don't want to do worksheets, but can we do somethlng else that has to do wtth math?' example,

olivla: I llnd myself talldng about thlngs when I feel like it, when the person I rvant to talk to ts there.

Dlane: I know that I make a polnt of brtnCing things up in front of the whole farnily. If I want to talk about something that alfects all of us, I won't go and talk to my husband private$. fll brlng lt up at the dinner table so everyone can hear and glve thelr oplnlon.

Ollvia: I ltke that practice, because I

lt g;ives me a lot of rights. I really hate lt when rny parcnts go and talk about something and then I have to hear the news secondhand, so to speak, because they usually don't remember werythtng and I hear btts and pleces. Ifs Just not as lnterestlng, and I tend to feel left out when they do that. I wanted to comment on what Emma sald about ratstng her hand. I don't normally do that - I thlnk lt always seemed too schoollsh to me. I llke to watt undl they're done talklng - well, I have been known to lntermpt when thcy talk for too long, but normally I Just watt until there's a spaoe ln the conversadon and then I'll give my oplnion. feel ltke

Diana: I thtnk sometlmes Ollvia doesn't get heard because we'll get upset wlth her and more or less tell her that we don't want to hear what she has to say about somethtng. This does happen when everyone's angry. Ollvla: And I always Gel resendul of that because I always want people to hear my oplnlons, whether they want to or not. That's one of my problems, I thtnk. I like to be able to express my own oplnlons

lot of fun,

Susannah: What do you do when she gets neruous, Emma? What would you do tf she really wanted you to do some schml

GROWING WITTIOUT SCHOOLING #68

Dlena: WeVe held meetlngs ln our farnlly, but not for many years. It dtdn't seem to work out very well - the metlngs

It's more of an tnformal thtng.

Pcggr: I'm happy that Emma's comfortable belng alone, because lt opens

but

RESPONSE

about thlngs, and I thlnk that's very important, for a chtld, especially. People usually assume that adults will have opinlons but they don't always assume

that chtldren will.

Dlana: Emma said that she's never had to ask for anyttrtng tmportant... Ollvla: IVe had to ask for things I really wanted, ltke staytng ovemigfit at a frtend's, and IVe been told no, a lot of tlmes, and been really devastated.

Dlent One thtng we do that I thfnk ts tmportant Is we always tr5r to explaln uhy we're salrtng no lf nrc say no to somethlng that OUvta wants to do. Olivla: I think part of the reason you do that is I can't ablde betng told no, for no

reason.

Dlana:

I don't thlnk

anyone can,

Olivla: I've talked to ftlends about it, and they say they can't stand lt when thek parentsJust say, "Because," and don't explatn why.

Dianc I never ltked tt when I was a child - and I don't ltke lt now, for that matter.

Olivls When I ffrst read what Emma

said about her mother not allowlng her to watch what she wants on TV, lt sounded like me talktng. I harrc the same problernIfs usuall5r me and rr{f father and my younger slster Della agatnst my mom - ure always want to watch thtngs and she says they're too violent.

Diana: I feel like I'm the one who has to be the watchdog about the TV. Everyone else wants to spend all thelr time ln front of theTV, and I try not to watch too much because it tends to make me want to watch

more -

Ollvla: Well, I can agree wlth thaL Diane: But my obJecdon to lt lsn't so much the violence as tt ls that I think children should be acdve$ dolng thtngs, and I th,tnk when the chtldren spend a lot of time watching they don't do as many interesting thtngs, and they llght more with each other. It's as lf they have all thls neryous enersf butldtng up ln them while they watch and then they have to let lt out. Tlds is soundtng llke we watch a lot of TV actually, about an hour a day ls the most wewatch around here, About Susannah's questlon about Emma Gelfurg outnumbered - I know that tn our family we sometlmes dectde that Ollvia must do somethtng whether she likes it or not. What brtngs lt to my mtnd right now is our new baby had some problems which meant that I needed to spend a lot of extra ttme wlth trlm, and I needed some help from Oltvta. She didn't really want to do some of the thtngs that I asked her to do, and I told her she had to. I think she's been good about tt, but maybe you'd like to cromment on that, Olivla.

ollvia: Well, most of the thtngs I didn't have too much problem wtth. I dtdn't mtnd making breakfast, or watching Delia and Gabrtel lthe other ctrtldrenl. Sometimes I minded havtng to make lunch ruhile watchlng them, Dlana: Do you have any comments on what Peggr and Emma sald about reading romance norrels?

Olivia: I've never read teenage romanoes, but I have read thtngs like Nancy Drew books, and rlght now I'm readtng The BabyslTters Club serles. I ldnd oflike those books, tfthey have a good

plot. But some of them that are really slow-movlng, I don't ltke.

Dlene: I thtnk tfs very trnportant for clrtldren to be able to read all ktnds of dlferent books, so that they develop thelr own sense of taste. Ollvla seems to plck very good books most of the tlme, so I don't have a problem wtth her ptcldng things that I rvould conslderJunlqr. I nodced that after reading a few Nancy Drew books she commented to me that there was a lot of stmtlartty between them, and the people weren't very reallstlc, We've talked about thls ln terms of our frlends. Oltvta's had some friends whose parents restrlcted what they read, and It seemed llke lt made the chlldren want to read theJunlry books even more. IVe been really aware of that and haven't uranted to get tnto that ktnd of sltuadon

with her.

Ollvle: Susannah asked about rules. I usually don't feel llke I have too many rules. Sometlmes I feel ltke I have a lot of rules, and then I'll talk to one of my friends with really strlct parents and I'll feel like I hardly have any rules at all.

"A lot of tlmes I dldn't want to tdk about somethlng and It was purely because I was embarassed about lt..." Diana: I don't like to restrict the children too much ln thelr academic work - I let them choose what they're going to do. But I have rules about bedttmes, when we eat our meals, keeplng the house clean, havlng certaln places for things so that when people need to use them they can

find them.

Olivia: I can usually tell when my mom's not going to agree wlth something I'm doing. Llke Emma sald, Just from knowing her and from havlng gotten in trouble about thtngs before, I can usually tell what I should or shouldn't do. A lot of tlmes I'll really want to do something but I'll sort of have a struggle with myself because I'll know that tt's golng to be frowned upon. Dlana: What do you think of Peggr's story about wanting Emma to talk to her about somethlng when Emma didn't want to talk about lt?

Ollvla:

I thtnk I've had thtngs

like that happen, when I was really upset about something and dtdn't talk about it because I didn't thlnk lt was a good time - it would mess up the way I looked, or I was going to do somethlng and wanted to be ln a happy

frame of mind. Dlana: There have been tlmes when I've really wanted Ollvia to talk about something wlth me, and she wouldn't, and I didn't know why. Sometlmes it's Just that she wasn't ready to talk about it yet. I think I've gotten better about thls in the last few years - I'm more padent and willing to w'alt unfll she ts ready. Usually

when I'll do that she'll come to me when she's ready. and say so, and lfs better than lf I try to forcc tt out of her.

Ollvle: A lot of tlmes I didn't urant to talk about somethtng and tt was purely because I was embarrassed about whatever It was, and I was afrald my motherwould get upset wlth me. I've had questions about

prlvate matters, especlally, that I wanted to ask but was afratd to, Dlana: And did you ask?

Ollvle: Usually I dtd. After a whlle I got myself to say something about tt" or I'd Ilgure out a way that wasn't too embarrasslng.

Diana: That makes me feel really

good, because I know that when I was your age, Oltvta, I used to feel that way with my

mother, and usually I wouldn't talk to her because I didn't Gel that comfortable. lt's always been one ofmy goals as a parent to have my chlldren come and talk to me about things that bothered them. Susannah asked if Peggl ever said she knew more about something and should make the decislon about it. When Olivia was about 5, she wanted to go to school, and I told her that she couldn't. She was upset, and my husband wasn't as sure as I was that it was rlght to say no,about school. He satd, "Why don't we let her t4r it and see what she thinks?' But then I pointed out to hlm that the law ln Pennsylvanla says that the compulsory school age ts 8 unless you go to school before then. If you go before then, you have to deal with the school dlstrlct lf you want to homeschool. I dtdn't want Olivta to be stuck ln a situatlon of havbg to go to school. And I felt that there were certaln decislons that she wasn't old enough to make. Now, if she wanted to go, I would seriously consider allowing her to go. She's almost I I, and she knows a whole lot more about whafs involved tn gotng to school, so that tfshe did decide to go I would feel better about it.

Olivia: I remember wanfing to go to school because all the other kids tn my neighborhood were going off to ldndergarten or Ilrst grade. I remember my father saying, "Watt'ttl you're 8, then you can go if you want to.- Then when I was 8, I was so happy that they dtdn't send me to school. Every time I thtnk about lt now I really count my blessings that I have my parents for parents, because now, I would never want to go to school. Diana: I wanted to add that I really liked Emna's ldea of suggesting that they do something dtfferent that's sttll math. I think I rnay suggest this to Olivla in the future.

Olivls: When I heard that idea it sounded like somethlng that might really work for me. I have trouble with math sometimes because I'm good with my hands, and with heartng, but it's hard for me to learn math by Just looking at numbers ln a workbook. A lot of times I'll do that and then get totally frustrated, because I won't thtnk that maybe I could try dotng the thlng another way. So I think I should keep that tn mlnd.

GROWINC WITHOUT SCHOOLING #68

RESOURCES

& RECOMMENDATIONS

MATH SOFTWARE Mikell BIll'/rI oJ onturo wrttes: In response to Ma5r Freed's query tn GWS #66 about computer programs for

advanccd math: As a reyleurer of educatlonal software, fve looked at quite a few math programs, and the best ones IVe seen ln thls category are from Sunburst Communlcadons, 39

Washlngton Av, PleasanMlle l.IY lO57O2898; 8OO-431-1934. I recommend that familtes wrlte or call for thelr catalog and have a look at what they offer. All programs may be prevtewed for thtrty days and come wtth a Metlme wananty. All programs are for use wtth Apple computers and most for IBM and Commodore as

well. The value ln many of the Sunburst programs ls that they take math beyond

working wlth operatlons and fur some cases even beyond worklng wlth numbers. Problem-solvtng, lnference, loglc, estlrnathg, and predtcttng are the essence of these programs, and those who love math knour that these are what math ts all about. Those who don't like math may be convinced lt can be fun and challengtng by using programs that take tt beyond drtll and pracdce.

GETTING SCHOOL RECORDS If you are havlng trouble getting a child's records from a former (or current) school, you should know that the Famtly Educational Rights and Privaqr Act says that school records must be made arrallable to parents tf they request them. For more lnformaflon, wrlte: Student and Family Educatlon Rtghts and Prtvaqr Act

OIIlce, U.S, Departrnent of Education, Room 3O21, Federal OIfice Butldtng 6, Washtngton DC 2O2O2.

TEEN.TO.TEEN OUTREACH Gretchen Robinson oJ tle NATIONNHOMBCHOOL ASSOCIA?ION (tu Box 167, Rcdco NM 88O56: 505-557-2250)

urltes:. Our newest program, the Teen-to-Teen Outreach Program, came into belng when the Shulttses lfounders of the NHAI vtstted Pat Montgomery of Clonlara a Gw weeks ago. Pat obsewed that there are a great

many runaways and'throwaway' lidds out therâ&#x201A;Ź - klds who, for some reason or another, have run avray from or been ktcked out of their homes. Ther,e are manv reasons for thetr pligfrt: abuse, econornic hardstrtp, behavlor and dlsclpllne problems rangtng from teen pregnancy and drug abuse to difierences of oplnion about philosophy, reltgton, lifestyle, etc. Pat suggested that there cruld be many wErys tn whtch homeschoollng famtltes and/or students could help these ctrlldren by a) dvlng them an advocate someone to turn to (besides Soctal Servlces wtrlch, tf they do anythfng, often do more hann than good), and b) helptng

them to earn a htgh schml diploma

tnformaton.' If any homeschoolers pur-

through nontradtflonal channels,

sue this, we d like to hear about lL

...The way tn wtrtch the famtly would go about thls would be totally up to the fantly. Posslbllltles are: passlng the teenager from house to house; rentlng or donatlng an extra Foom ln thelr house or otherwlse helptng to IInd cheap or free houslng: ollerlng a Job; helptng to llnd a Job; perhaps even helplng to ellect a reconclllaflon wtth the teenager's farnily, At any rate, the teenager would have a vlable option to lfdng on the street. As for obtalntng the hfgh school diploma, this could be done through'homeschooler-

frtendly" instltutlons that give acadernic credtt for llfe and work experlence ln addtdon to whaterrer tradtdonal academic work the chtld may have done - examples are Clonlara Home Based Education Program, GED or CLEP tesdng, and any number of prlrrate homeschool-based 'schools wlthout walls" that edst wlthin

the homeschoollng communl$r.

Here's how NtlA would help: networktng for familtes and homeschool organlzatlons who are lnterested ln partlclpattng tn thts program: ratslng funds to pay for tultlons: reGrral and resource center for legal lnformatlon, helpful schools and soclal organlzatlons; gettlng the word out to lnterested churches, soclal organlzatlons, educadonal lnsdtuUons, and anyone else who wants to get lnvolved. The ways ln whlch these runaway or throwaway chllren could be put ln c.ontact with the Teen-to-Teen program could be: through thelr parents or frlends; by the homeschoolers' efforts; through local city, state, or county soclal or community programs or charlties; through naffonal soclal programs or charltles (Red Cross, Catholic Communlty Servlces, YMCA, Big Brothers/Slsters of Amerlca, etc.) Some of the benellts for homeschoolers would be: the chance to make new

frlends whtle helptng people; to learn Ilrst-hand about the problems out ln the world: to galn credits toward a diploma (soctal studtes, psychology, etc.); to

dwelop sktlls ln reladng to people outside of one's lmmediate socloeconomic group; good press for the homeschool movement. Anyone lnterested tn thts prognm should contact the NHA (address above).

ARCHITECTURE INTERN. SHIP

We got an announoement from the

NACUL Archttectural Center (592 Matn St, Amherst MA OIOO2; 413-2rc-AO25) saytng, 'For the past slxteen years we have been working wlth students and lntems on research and deslgn of envlronmentally responslve butldings and communltles, The proJects have lncluded the design and construcdon of passlve solar houses, renovatlons and proposals for sustainable communltles and netghborhoods. The actual work lncludes: research, architectural destg5r, constmcdon drawlngs, model butldtng and bulldtng construction. Hours are flextble. However, all partlct pants are requfred to attend fteld trtps, rewlews and semlnars. Wrtte or call the

Internstrlp Coordlnator lf you are Interested ln Jolning us and would llke more

GROWING WITHOUT SCHOOLING #68

WORK ON ORGANIC FARM The Malne Organic Farmers and Gardeners Associafion offers year-round apprendceshlps on worldng farms tn Malne. The literature says that the mtntmum stay ts etght weeks and the mtntmum age ls 18, but maybe some ofyou can invesdgate whether they will conslder lowerlng the age requinement. They charge $15 for the servic.e of placing you wlth a farmer. For more lnformation and an appllcauon, write to Apprenflceshlp Program, Malne Organtc Farmers and Gardeners Assocladon, Dept H, fux2176, Augusta ME O 4330; 2O7 {22-3 I I 8.

APPRENTICESHIP ON MUSK OX FARM IN ALASKA Alaskan lameschmler futly Breck urrftes; The world's only domestic musk ox farm, near Anchorage, is loolidng for llvein volunteers to help with corrbing out the superfine underwool and with calvtng, from May I to June 30. Room and board are provlded, and it's a great opportunity for a real Alaskan experlence. The farm will accrpt applicadons from older homeschoolers and par,entr/ teen combinaflons. A waiver of ltabtltty and proofoftnsurance are provlded for children under 18. Experience wtth large livestock ts helpful but not required. Alaska Homeschoolers Assocladon will provide support services, such as a chance to vlsit our homes and sightseeing, and lnformafion on low-cost air fares. Send resume and a letter of applicatlon to The Musk Ox Farm, PO Box 587, Palmer

AK99e$.

HOMESCHOOLER OFFBRS rNFO ON TRAVEL, TNTERNSHIPS

Anna-Lisa Cox (6241 l38th Ave, Holland MI 494231 says that she has a lot of lnformadon about overseas travel and internshlps for young people, and would be glad to answer questions from other

homeschoolers. Anna-Llsa's wrldng

appears ln the Focus secdon ofthls lssue ofGWS.

NEW ALCHEMY INSTITUTE PEOPLE DOING IMPORTANT WORK F)om Dp,nttr:

Richou.x:

I thoroughly enJoyed the Wnter'88 issue of the New Alchemy Instltute's newsletter, the Quarterly, and suggest GWS readers send them $2 fora copy. Subtttled 'Dear New Alchemy... Old Alchemlsts

Wrlte Home,' lt contalns pieces from a dozen former stalf members and volunteers, tallidng about what they got out of thelr tlme at the Institute and what they

It ls a ltvely plcture of people findfng and dotng lmportant work. lnTeochYour Owrt John Holt wrote about a trlgh school senlor who hated school and asked htm for advlce, He suggested she vlslt the New Alchemy Insdtute, a small experlmental farm and research factltty, ln whlch people expertment with solar greenhouses, fishfarrnfng, tree ratstng, composdng, blologtcal pest control, etc. "As small as lt is,' he wrote, "lt seems to me one of the most tmportant groups of people worldng anywhere.'The student dtd vtstt, was very lmpressed, dectded to shrdy Llfe Sclencrs and, as tt happened, worked hard fn school and got on the honor roll. In the 'Dear New Alchemy' lssue of the newsletter, one young wonun tells a slmilar story about herself - she does not appear to be the sarne person, as she was only 12 when she vislted NAI. She says of her ffrst visit, 'All around us was a verv wonderful feellng of hope that I c"tft.a wlth me for seven years untll I returned." When you send for the newsletter, also ask for NAI's free catalog and brochure. Also, I Just learned that thelr next newsletter, Sprtng'89, wtll be about lnnovatlve, hands-on sclenoe education, so some of you mtght ltke to buy that one as well. And a group of homeschoolers have been meeting regularly at the Institute - we'll see if we can learn more abut that. are dotng now.

VOLUMES OF MANAS We were \rery sorry to leam that Hen5r GeIger, for many years the edltor of MANAS, the Journal we have r€commended several flrnes over the years (most reccntly tn GWS #66), dfed on February 15. A MANAS stalf member told us that therr have been recelvlng a lot of Inqulrles fr6m home-schoolers as a result of our recent mendon and of the recommendatlon the Colfaxes gave it in Homeschoolltlg For Ercellence. They would llke erreryone to know that whtle the Journal is no longer being published, year$ unbound volumes are avallable from 1969 to 1988, at $8 each, from Box 32112, El Sereno Statlon,

los Angeles CA 9OO32. A quarterly journal on Waldorf philosophy and

other forms of holistic and spiritual parenting, sdmling and homesdtooling. Nurturing the magicai time of dtildhood. Send $20 (or $5 for a sample) to Nancy Aldrid,

RR2. Box 2675G . Westford, VT

WORKING ON LEGTSLATION? For an inside look at pushing a home education bill throuqh the Statehouse, send for t6e complete journal of Vernont,s successful legislative effort. Included is a copy of the bill as enacted in 1987, Send 910 to BiIl Schulte, P.O. Box I24, Jericho Center, Vermont 05465.

WATCHING CHILDREN LEARN, continued from page 13 he was forced to say Newton's Thtrd Law of Motlon was true before he belteved tt to be tn:e, not to the fact that somebody had

for hls room, as well as the old standby, malOng thlngs out of wood. But I also

reallzed from hls very obvlous need that I had a slmllar one. I flnd I feel psychologically and phystcally better when I am creadng, and thls applies notjust to my wrldng or my qulltrng but to ideas as well - to the flmes when I can say to my husband Tom or to the klds, 'Hey, I Just reallzed that...'Thts ability remains cructal throughout ltfe. I have some frtends who are approachtng thelr nlneties and who are stlll very lnteresflng people because they are sttll maldng connectlons and actlng on them. Evaluattng chtldren was much easier when leamlng facts was ln vogue. Evaluating a child's grasp of c.onc.epts, or erren skills, rests on much mushier ground. John notes the problems lnvolved In having to 'repeat, as sense, what makes no sense,' but what I remember is all the evaslon technlques shrdents learn to survive, the ways they must cover up any lack of understanding, the care they must take in dlscusslons. A couple of months ago Chrisflan and I were dlscusslng Dr. Jekyll andMn Hyde.He had been looking for a book to read and I had pulled that book off the shelf as a suggestion. l.ater I asked him what he thought oftt and he sald he thought lt was strange, and explained how far he'd gotten, endlng wtth, 'Well, I think that's what's happening.' I was surprised at hls confuslon but suggested we read the Ilrst couple ofpages together. Then I understood. The vocabulaql and sentence structure were qulte dtlllcult 0 had to read one sentence a couple of times before I

understood tt.) Chrtsttan's explanation of the story had be€n accurate, but so was what he sald about hts Geling of insecurt$r. It was a tough story to read and he had been honest about that, and our subsequent dlscusslons of the book were honest, with both of us offering ideas about parflcular sectlons, I was not checklng on his reading comprehenslon or his vocabulary skills, although we were both getting a lot ofexerclse in those areas. Now Chrisdan and hls younger sister Clare ask a multifude of quesdons about meanlng or pronunciation or references to historical events or people when they are reading. How many such questlons are silenced by an atmosphere of evaluation? But lt ls often easier to talk about what shouldn't be done than to figure out and do what should be done. The third paragraph ln John's letter ls the most diflicult one for homeschoollng parents to act on: how do we best assist our children ln malidng dlscoverles that are meanlngful for them, so that they don't have to relnvent the wheel? Hls suggestlons are cruclal ones: tlme, freedom, approprlate arrangement of materlals. But interactlons between parent and child are also lmportant elements tn alding dlscovery, and if we reJect the controlling teacher/ submlsslve pupil ktnd of lnteraction we need to be able to tdenttff what ktnd of lnteractlon is helpful. I'm sure that John was not advocaflng that we hide the connectlons we have made about our world from our chlldren. After all, he was obJecttng to the fact that

told htm about lt at all. And ln the ktnd of non-evaluatlng dlscusslon that can take place between parent and chtld, the ktnd of discusslon that Chrlstian and I had about Dr. Jekglt and Mr. Hyde, the child can hear and respond to some ofthe conc.epts that the parent understands wlthout being graded on how well he himself understands them.

I remember many years ago, when Chrlsflan and hls older slster Emlly were very young, talldng to them about lnerda while we were rldlng ire the car. It was not ln response to any quesdon they asked; it was something thatJust poppd tnto my head and I thought lt would be a neat concept they would enjoy knowing. We talked about lt in terms of the car and for a couple of days afterward Emtly found other examples of lt. I never tested them on how well they knew thls, but I did lnldate the experience. A small child doesn't need a parent to evaluate her speech patterns ln order to learn how to talk, 'I breaked lt' becomes 'I broke it' because the child listens and compares what she says wlth what she hears. And the same thtng may have

happened with the little boy Pat Montgomery talked about. He was unable to accept that the bam ln the distance was the same as the big barn in front of hlm, but Pat obviously did believe that and, although she wtsely decided that she was not going to try to teach htm thls concept, this lnteraction may have caused a small shift tn hts urorld view. He knew that Pat's and his views of the sttuadon dldn't match, and his wonderlng why may have led him to investlgate that mystery. Many of the discoveries in our house have been lnlttated by one of the children, and many I don't even know about until long after they have happened, or at dl. But some I do know about, and the sounds connected with them are beaudful, like Chrlstlan's "Oh, wow," the other day as he took an old camera apart and saw ln real life what he had been reading about: how a shutter works and how it stays open for longer exposures. Sometlmes I am more lnvolved ln the settlng up for the discovery, ltke slowtng down the pace of a museum trlp so that we all begtn to look at thlngs and think about them. And some of the discoveries are of the more tradidonal sort. Clare (9) Just started working through a Saxon math textbook, which explains division as a rnissing factor multiplicatlon problem. After readtng this sectlon, she suddenly looked up at me and sald, 'l understand it. I really do know how to do dlvislon now." She had been uslng divislon for a year or so, had even worked a ltttle wtth divtdtng a variety of obJects, but lt wasn't the rlght explanation or the rtght time for her. The Saxon explanatlon did it. Was her earlier experience with divtslon an example of someone trying to teach her a c.onc€pt before she was ready? I don't know. I do know from talklng to her about lt that her previous attempts at dlvision prlmed her for this discovery. She had been rolling

GRO\ryING WITHOUT SCHOOLING #68

29 thts mystery of dlvlston around ln her head for a long time, and tf the Saxon explanatton had been her llrst encounter wtth dlvlslon, she probably would not have gotten the tnstght she dtd. Tom and I are now helptng Emily leam how to drtve. I am llndtng lt also a Ieamlng experlencâ&#x201A;Ź for me becausâ&#x201A;Ź I have time to anallze rny acflons as well as hers. We are, of course, helpint her by limttlng the number of vartables she has to confront at one Sme - begfnnfng in an empgl parHng lot so she dtdn't ha\rc to worry

about other cars, chooslng qulet roads at flrst and then movlng to busler ones. She would not necessartf have made the same chotces we dld because she doesn't know all the posslble dangers. But most of the tlme I am qulet because I know drMng lnvolrrcs a lot of bullt-fur reacttons, a lot of getttng to know how btg the car ls and how to get lt to respond. There are tlmes, however, when my comments have been helpful, like when I let her know that the steerlng wheel turns ltself back to the proper posltlon after she makes a turn. Instead oftrytng to gutde lt back, she tmmedtately trted out what I told her, letting the wheel sllde through her hands, and was thrilled that tt worked. She would have eventually llgured ttrls out on her own, but tt mlght have taken a wlrlle and she appreclated my advlce. Of cpurse, lt would have been totally different tf I had walted unttl she had made a partlcularly awkrpard tum and then self-tmportantly lnstructed her on what she dtd wrong. In general, I suppose the way I share my world vlew, the connectlons I have dtscorrcred, wtth Errdly, Chrlstlan, and Clare ls the way Tom and I are helptng Emfly to drive. Somedmes I amJust there when they need me, sometimes I am acUvely telltng and shartng my knowledge. It's very slmil,ar to the way I share my world vtew wtth Tom or wlth my

frlends.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH SENTIMENTALITY In the plrc tlut tolked abut children unrldng (p. 24, tlns bsueJ, John Holt also wrote:

...I fear and dtsltke sendmentalitv because I've learned from experience tirat It ls one slde of a coln whose other slde ls callousness, contempt, and cmelty. The

trouble wtth the people who thtnk that some of the tlme children are ltttle angels ls that when the chlldren are not behaving in ways they like they tlrfnk thry are ltttle devtls. The people who at one mlnute are ready to shed crocodtle tears at the thought of an etght year old dotng actual work wtll ln the next mlnute become tndtgnant to the polnt of rage or pantc if I suggest that that same etght year old be given some ktnd of say about trts learntng or the condltlons of hls llfe. Thts datntv angellc creature, who at one rnlnute we had to protect, ln the next rnlnute turns lnto some ldnd of dangerous crtmtnal monster. In fact chlldren are not angels or devils, salnts or monsters, not naturally good or naturally wtcked, stmply human belngs very much llke the rest of us, with the addttlonal assets of havlng rather

more energf and hopefulness than we do,

and the liabtltttes of betng somewhat smaller, weaker, and less expertenced.

we crould only agree not to take advantage

of thelr weakness and lnexperlence, not achrally and poslilvely to preg on them, they rvould be saG enough maktng a great many dectslons whtch we now don't let

them make.

RBC OVERING ENTHUSIASM,

SELF-ESTEEM Susan Weed oJ Cal{ornla wrltes:

From the begnnfng BenJamin (now drummer. He dtd not read with any sucress unUl he was 9. We attrlbuted thts lack to some eye 14) has marched to another

problems for a long dme, but I now reallze that he was slmply not ready to read untll then. He never seemed to "gef the matertal tn the lectures at school or on the myrtad dttto sheets, However, he did wonderfully ln classes like sciencc where there was hands-on leamlng, and ln one notable llterature class where the teacher had the kids act out the story they were readtng. So, from the begtnntng I ended up

working wlth hfm for hours after school, re-teachlng htm tn the way I knew he vrould learn. At lhst BenJamin wasn't affected by betng'wrong'so much of the Ume, but as he got older hls self-esteem began to suffer. His natural enthuslasm seemed to be

waning, he hated school and often had headaches and stomach problems that would vanlsh soon after he was allowed to stay home. We had trted both prlvate schools, where he was to have tndtvidual attentlon (whtch often meant that the teachers patd so much attendon to him that all the other lidds lo:rew he was 'dumb") and publtc schools where there were many ln the same boat and he was passed over unless I was there every other day.

During BenJamln's seventh grade year I began to feel bumt out from tutoring

him and worr5dng about hlm. Luckily, lt

was about this tlme that I ran across an artlcle about homeschoollng which mendoned John Holt and GWS. I wrote

immedtately for information and after some four months of research and a great deal of encpuragement from my husband and my parents, I decided to gfve tt a try. After all, I told myself, I'd really been doing most of the teaching myself anyway, and I'd come to discover that being a teacher depends no more upon a degree than does belng a mother. BenJamin was deltghted from the very llrst and told me his last day of school was the happlest day of hts llfe. I am qulte sure he meantwhat he sald. We haire now been

homeschooling for six months, and it would take volumes for me to express the Joy I feel ln watchlng my son regain his self-esteem, his love of ltfe and learning, and his wonderful enthuslastic personali$r. Everyone notlces the change ln hlm, how mature and responslble he seems, and how, even wtth hts actlve llfe, he seems at Peace. TWo weeks ago BenJamtn forgot the only books he ever read, Garlleld Joke

GROWING WITHOIN SHOOLING #68

books, when we had embarked on a sevenhour car trtp. He was sure he would dle of boredom. I casually menfloned that I had remembered to brtng the latest lfbrary book that I had onty Just started to read to htm. Itwas about ayoung man durtng the clvll war and he had seemed to enJoy lL After a tlme he sighed and satd he guessed he would 'look' at that book. Before we arrtved at our desdnadon he had read four chapters, and has slnce gone on to flnlsh all seventeenl That wtll be no btg thtng for most people, but for a l4-year-old boy who was labeled dysledc and to whom readtng seemed a form of punlshment, lt was cause to brlng out the champagnel It has been wlth some dilllculty that I have left BenJarnin to hls own devlces for a good part ofeach day, but I really do belierre that tt ls the best thtng to do. He has begun to show a real lnterest ln the garden we planted, and spends a good deal of time at the computer. Hls great lnterest ln gtrrns prompted learning about traJec-

tory, calibur, the make-up of ammunltlon, and a ftve-hour safety class whlch he sat through with rapt attendon, Aside from these thtngs he ls, as all homeschoolers are, able to learn flrst-hand what his parents do all day. Benjamtn ls the enry of all his friends, whtle I have the undeserved admiration of all of mlne, for no matter how I try to dissuade them they lnslst on picturing me with a blackboard and a pointer. How de.eply lngralned ls our feeling that someone must teach us for us to learnl

ADDITIONS TO DIRECTORY Hcre are tbe addtdoos and dranges to the Dir€ctory that have cpmc ln slncc the last lgsue. Our complctc 1989 Dlrectory was pubtshed in GWS#66. Our Dlrectory ls nota llst ofall subscrlb€rs, but only of thoce trho oslc to be listed, so that other GWS readers, or other lntercsted people, may get ln touch wlth thcrn. If you would llke to be included, pleasc scnd thc cnby form or a 3x5 card (one famlly pcr card). Plcasc takc care to tnclude all the tnformatlon - last rramc, full address, and so on. Please remembcr that wc can't control horrr the Directory ls uscd; lfyou recclvc wrwanted mail as a r€sult ofbelng llsted, Just to€a lt out. We prlnt b{rthyears of chtldrcn, not ages. If wc mad€ a mlstake whcn cornrcrttrgyour chtld's age to btrthyear. pleasc lct us knw. Plcasc tell us tfyou would rather have your phore numbcr and torn llsted lnstead ofyour malltng address, Wc don t havc space to llst both, If a Dircctory listlng ls follonrcd by a (I!1. the family is willlng to host GWS travelers who make advance arrangements tn wrtdng, lf a name lrr a GWS story ls follonred by a state abbrcviadon in parenthes€s, that person irs in the Directory (check hcre ond tn #67 and #66). We arc happy to fonvard mail to thosc whosc addresses ar€ not ln the Dlrcctory. Mark the outsi& of the erwclope with name/description, issue, and page numbcr. lf 1lou don t mark the outslde, we opcn thc envelopc, scc thatyou want something forwarded, and thcn havc to rcaddress thc letter and use our o\rm postage to

mailit. Whcu you scnd us an address change for a subscrlpflon, please rcmlnd us fyou are ln the Directory, so wc can chaqge lt here, too.

(Maft/al,Kate/ AK -= Paul & Pat LUGIN a4) PO Box 82774, Fairbanks 99708 AZ =- Austen & Julic BAIER (Jcsse/79, Chelsea/87) 2914 N SOth Ln, Phoenix 850313 === Derald & Jody THOMPSON llvllke/74, John/76, Jewry/78) 7521 E Lurlenc Dr, T\rcson

cA NoRIII (zlPr 9{000 & up) === Al &

Mar5r Jane FACCHINO

(Janelle/8l, Damon/85)

6390 Vta Amigos, San Josc aSl2O === HOME IEARMNG EXCHANGE. c/o C€lla Durman. 295 Karel Av, Red Bluff96O8O === Chrlstine WIIIARD (Sam/821 14857 Sutton Dr. San Jose 95124 (change) =: Dale & Carol WU (CHsten/ a2, Tracy I a4, BenJamln/8fl 285 Mountairc Pkwy, Cla5rton 945f7 (dpnge) CA SOIIIII (zlpr to 9tl00o) === flo!64 & Cheryl BAXER Froy/74, Elyse/76, Corinne/ 8ol l90lo Appaloosa Rd, Apple valley 92308 === Raoul & Maureen GRADVOHL (Glscll€/8o, Marccl/83, Arlel/8s) l2ff} Amboy Av, Sylmar 91342 === Richard GREENBI-ATT & Srlsan SELVIG (Rafe/8o, Charlotte/83) 1935 3l St, San Diego 92rq2 === Q6!d6llg

John FIARWOOD

(Rupert/77, Scarlette/84) 3O6 Canyon Acres, Laguna Beach 92651 (Hl:= Alan & Ann HUSTER (Angela/8s. Ablgatl/88) 249 RloVista Dr, King Clty 93930 (It === Bob & Mary Arm PAUL (Davld/79, Iftistlna/ A2l 4516 Cather Av, San Dle$o 92122 Cl) := Thea & Mdlson POLITCK (Morgan / 71, Hannah/8 U 4oa-462-O6gt (Santa Cruz) := gan6t & cccll SNYDER Uuhan/82, Johrmy/86) 2O556 Entradero Av, Torrance

90503 CO === Mark & Doreen GLORIOSO (Chrisde/79. Thomas/8t|, Julie/85) Box 3291 Plnewood Spgs. Lyons 80540

Station A, FO Box 2106, Merlden O645O === Lisa

SFECTOR (Danlca/84)

5l hnceton

St. West

rladord OOIrO 04

DE === Ken & Mary EICHHOIZ (Holly & Heath<r /77, Jernlc/79| 228 Waverly Rd, Wilmington 19803 DC === Gtnger & Robcrt WELCH (Rian/76,

Corrle/78, Mara/8I, Tiavcn/8{D 1624 Roscdale St NE. Washington 2OOgl (Hl FL:= Ben & Rcbckah ISRAEL (Rachcl/8o,

Ark/8al 3816 Cattatl Manh Ct. Apt 254. Palm Flarbor 34684 (change) === Steve & Sandy SMITH (Parker/85) TFIE READING STAR PUBLISHING, PO Box 1193. Venlce 342a4-1193 GA=== Sadlc BRlfi(I(adc/8l) 16l Xlmberly Way, Marietta 30064 === Trmothy & Cccelta RIFE (Scan/8I) l9O Hltching Post Ct, Marietta 3O067 === Gr€g & Vtcld SCOTI (Mlchael/77, Davld/8O) HOME EDUCATORS OF N. ATIANTA l2lo Loq'c Lrr. Rosw€ll 30O76 := Ridnrd & Patrtcta WARD (Heather/84, Cattlin/ 86) f73f Bcaureggrd Dr. Lilbum 30247 HI === Art & l,csllc HICKS (Noah/8I, Joseph/82, Jeremy/84, Carly/86) 367a Woodlawn Terr Pl. Honolulu 96822 === John & G IilRKIAND Oracy/85, Alora/8fl PO Box 2082. Kamuela 96743 (change) IL:= Gatl CLYDEN & Ctndl wIrcOXCLYDEN (Stacle / 72, *ra / 7 A, Joshua/80, Whttney/84, Naoml/8fl PO Box 73, Cabery 6O9f g (change) === Mike & Ann DICICCO (Philip/82, Andrea/86) 17O68 Orchard Ridge, llazel CYest 60429 (It IN === Carcljme ANDERSOHN & Kwin HORTON {Amella/&}. BenJarnln/88) 51412 Ltlac

Rd, South Bend 46628 === Paul & Claudy DWYER(Paul/79, Mtkc/82, M^ggte/851 RR2 Box 638, Mondcrllo 4796O (changel ==- Duke & SandTaMERRION (Robert/74, Rcbccca/ 77, Tltrany/82) 223 S Rd 3O0 E, Danvllle 46122:= John & Reglna REITER (Davld/82, Adam/a6) 1618 Southeast Blvd, Evansvllle 47714lti KS === Barbara MICHENER & Thom*

Bo:r 496, Perry 66073 (I{) === Jerurifer & creg NUNN (Alexander/ 8l,Leel84, Rachel/87) RR2 Box 9l l, Hawesville

42344

13034 NC === Jeff & Clndy HOLT (Aubrey/8l) 1506 WestbrookAv, Burllngton2T2lS === Tom

& Barbara I{OWE (Brevet/79, Kiral83, Devon/86) Rt 6 Box 169, Oxford 27565 (H) := Tom YARBOROUGH & PegS/ DAVIS (Matthew/80, Maryl86) 2217 Kenmorc Av, Chadottc 282(X oH === Harry & Rosame TI{OMAS (Amanda/81. John/83. Davld/86) 829f Asbury Hills Dr, Cinclnnati 45255 === Johrury & Kathy VAN STYN (Henry/8f ) l(X) Mulberry St, Cfnctnnati 4521o'-1124 OR === Sharron CLEVEIAND. EDUCATION TECHNOLOGY, 16185 Oak Ridge Rd, Yamhill 97148 PA === Harvey & Ellie DUNFIAM (7achary/ &1, CaMn/86, Hannah/88) 506 Carlton Ln, West Chester 19382 === Klm & Ed LUIZ(Dna/al, Pipersville 18947 (H) === Call & LuAnn

Western Av, Apt 2, South Parts O4281 -== Daniel & Marion FOSS (Amy/8O, Eben/8l) RFD I Box 67, Deer Isle O9627 === ltr{lNE HOMESCHOOL ASSOC, PO Box 3283, Auburn O42lO === Becky & Paul WILLIAI\iIS (Jenntfcr/81. Kclly/84, Laura/ 8{D Rr'D #3 Bor( 44O, Plttsffeld 04967 UD === Steve & Donatella CIARX (Neil/8t!, Keith/86) I I Canrcr Rd, Cabin John 2o8la === Ellm & Danlel GLUCK (Arnrlt/82, Talta / a4, Luukia/86) 6O14 Cross Country Blvd. Baltimore

21215 === Jim & PegS/MEYER (Peter/76, Rachel/77, Robyna / 79,Maty / 81, Jlml83, Alice/ 86) PO Box 68, Lothlm 2O7l I Ull === John & Linda ALICO (larrcrl/78, Cove

Rd, fh:xbury O23tl2 (I4 === Jesee & Patty ALLEN (Jesse/82, lonl/8S) 734 Country Way,

North Scituate O2O66 === James & Dorlnda BILLINGS (BenJamtn/74, Dantel/75, Theressa/ 77,k&ckah / 78, Tlmna/79, Xetlah/8O, Palesttna/a4) 2O4 Bedford St, Abtngton 02351 =: John & Pam ROSSETTI (Matt/a0, Dan & Jon/ 82,Dave / 8) WORCESTER AREA HOME$ CHOOUNG ORGAMZAflON, 246 May St, Worccster O16O2 MI === John & Mary Arm ANDERSON (Mark/78, Enc /81, Esther/S4) l9l 8 Roos€velt BIvd, Ypsllantt 48197 GII === HOME SCHOOL SUPPLY HOUSE, 32il E Mttchcll. Petoskey 49770 --= Jack & Mary SHARRY {Jesslca/75, Gabrlel/8o) 4531O Byrne Dr, Northvllle 48167

(H)

PRIMARY, PO Box 91, Rodeo 88O56 [It) IIIY === Jody BROWN & Jim SUTLIFF {Cory/78.Casl /8O. Jennie/85, Colin/86) 7589 lrls Ln, Ltverpool 13O88 (change) := Susan FEUERSTEIN & Gcorge ECHEVARRIA (Michael/ 82, Emtly/86) 33 RomcrAv. PlcasanMlle lO57O === Darrrry & Gloria FIARRISON (E,112 &th/74, Antonla/78. Anna & Sophia/84) Box R, APO New York O9678 (change) (t{l === KathleentIULlfl (Ryan/7g, Kyle/A2l RD I Box 67OA, Cayuga

Brlttany/84, Ahrrn/88) 24O Munlclpal Rd # I ,

rrF === Deborah CRUMP (Ashley/B:]) 76

Christine/8l, Molly/8i|, Travls/A7l 22 Old

UN === Chris & VMerrre EDWARDS $*orne/741 872 Co Rd 92, Maple Plarn 54359 UO === Mlchacl & Suc DUGGAN (Jessica/ 87) 944 Fontatne Pl. St Louls 63139 := Rosc OLIMA (Ihthertne/8l, Eli/86) East Wtnd Community. RR #6, Tccurnseh 65760 0Il NH === Laurence & Nelda SEVIGNY (Nlcole/73, Dantcl / 7 6,E,tnest | 77, Marshall/79, Rochelle/82) PO Box 649. Intcrvale O3845 NJ === Stcve & Glorla CIARK (Glorla,/8o, Silas/82, lsrael/8S, Gabrlelle/86) f f 3 Mdn St, Kcyport 07735 === Wtlllam & Barbara HAASE (Erlka/84, Danlel/87) 538 Maple Av, Teaneck 07666 === UNSCHOOLING FAIVIILIES SUpPORT GRP OF CTRL NJ. 40 Llnden Ln, Plainsboro O8536 NU === Dan & Harrlet SHULTIS Micaela/ 73. Str Lanccloa/Z4, Robert/7s) PEIONCILLO

RUMBAL^SKI (Carl /7e, Kalina/8o, Yuri / 82) Box 18 Duck Run Rd, Mackeyville 17750 (I4 ===

Mark & Katherlne SEMISCH (Chrlstopher/79, Margaret / 82, Lusl / a4l 56 Warden Rd, D,oylestown l89Ol

S|C === Btll & Barbara AIIEN Will/80, Emma/83) Rt2 Box 195, Hodgcs296ffl SD =-- Bhuml BAUMBERGER lAryca/77, Ashm/a0) HC 73 Box lO3tt, Dadwood 57732 TK === Tom & Hather GOODMAN {Dcirdre/85, Ktrsten/88) 4428 Caruth B}vd, Dallas75225 VT === Erlk & Barbara NIELSEN (Cora/79, Chrlstina/84, lngrld/8V RR 2 Box 4. E F.andolph O5O4l (I{) --= George & Amanda SEIFFERT

(l-e,ah/8z, Elena/84) RR I Box 1620, Worcester 05682 VA === Ltnda & Fred JONES (Alison/a3, Casey/85, Molly/86, Tess/8a) 27Ol Meadowbrook Dr, Blacksburg 24O60 === Ma* & Nadine SHULL (Allen/77, Seirah /79,Sammy/45) Rt I Box 795, Partlow 22584 WA === Paul MOLNAR & Kathy STEVENS,ON (Sartn/78. Nikolas/861 PO Box 583, Tonasket 98455 === Pamela ITIASH lBryartlTT. Marle/821 1632 Jones Dr SE, Renton 981055 === Patti PTTCFIER & Ste\re HALL (Becca/8l, Laura/ 84) 5526 26th Avc NE, Scattle 98105 (change) =- 7*n & Cata SEIDEL (Jcremy/84, Melissa/ 86) 838 W A(ton Rd #55, Belltngham 98226

(Diratory conf&lues

next Wge)

GROWINC WITHOUT SCHOOLING #68

3l CANADA:

BC=: Stwe & Amy MIFIALI (Ana/83, Maua/84, Max/86, Luca/88) 6961 lsland Hwy, Lantzcvllle VOR2HO =: Warrctr MOORE & Ellen ANDERSON (Anrcn/82, Dylan/86) Palsley Rd RR #1, Pender lsland VON 2MO (I4:= Kelly & Herb NYOUIST (Brock la0, Gre{'l8fz, Artel/85) 866 Bmck Av. Vlctorla VgB SOG (change) === Catherlne WEIR & Ian CROCI(ER (Matthew/82, Peter/84, Alwyn/88) Pachcoa Pt Llghthouse, c/o 2l Huron St, Vlctoria V8V 4V9 (II)

ONT === Tlmotlry HARRIS lZanei83, ?a&aryl$5l465 Old Goulats Bay Rd, Sault Ste Made PGA 5K8:= Cynthla & Dennis HENDERSoN (Carob'n/7g, Jamcs/85) 29 D Line, Rtchards Landlqg FOR lJO

OIIIER I,oCA'IIONS =- Clndy & John

DRING (Mcgan/76, Simon/79, Ethan/a3, Gwen/ 86) The Farm, Mopullcrr, Count5r Galway,

Ireland (II)

=- Annc BROSNAIiI (12) f37 The Cresccnt, Babylon NY I l7O2; vrtting & rcadlrg l6tfsts === Ktmberty BRUNET (5] l35l Lllac L,n, Carol Stream lL 6O188i cooklng. pLanflng, tumbllng === Goss, s 23olo valley chapcl Rd, Falrffeld WA 99Of 2: Catdrn (f O) ptano, ballet, sflckcrs: e/bh (4 sdckcrs. sln$nS, llamas:= Annlc Shaplro (lO) 125 Ston€cr€st Rd, Rldgc8eld CTO6a77t dancc,books. dolls === Klm DODSON (f 3) PO Box 2f 55, La Mesa CA 92()44; ballet, penpals, rcadtng:= Cascy GODDARD (lO) 2255 Hutdr|.qon St, Vtsta CA 92084; Dungeons & DragoDs, comPuters =: Samantha RICI{ARI}SON (4) RD I Box 251, Bath NY l4alo; ballct. books. cats:= Chrtsftu BROWN (12) 45o2 8th Av, Rock lsland IL 6l2Ol: ardmals, gmmasflcs, sflcke!:s := Matthew JOHNSON (8) 1673 N Kcllogg, Galesburg lL 6f 4Ol; cars.

BACI(YARD SGIENTIST 9ERIES books of fun, fasclnatlng, excitlng and challenglr{ sc{enc:c experlmcnts for chlldrcn ages 4 to 14 )rcars. Slmple safe €rperlments. koven method of tcadrtog hands-on physlcs and dtcmlstry ustng Items found arcund thc housc. flesigSred for home schoollng. Fora frecbrochurc, scnd SASE to: Bac$ard Sciendst. DcPt. GWS, PO Box I 6966. lrvtnc, CA 92713.

computers,bascball===VlctoriaKVn-TI(OFSI(Y

Homeschooling Co-operatively how 5 famllies did it wtth great succ€ssl A grcat way to create support. Write for publlshed ardcle In THE DOUIA Motherlng Magadrte Summer 88 *lO issue. $4 Copy or one ycar subscripuon $15 (4 issucs). PO Box 71, Santa Chz, CA95O63-OO7I.

anlmals

(fO) Rt 7 Box 38€1, McXlnncy TX 75O69; plano.

skadng. wriflng plays

ADDITIONS TO RESOURCES Cerflffcd Tcachers Wllllnc to Help Homcschoolers: Ellzabeth LO\[,ER, 5O22 Wabas]r Dr, Fairfield OH 45014; 513-8&3-2891 (Montessori) =: Natalte TATZ, 3:|2O Bainbrldge Ave, Bronx NY l0467i 212-654-7918 lclem) Helpful Lawyen Mart Scmisch, 56 Warden Rd, Doylcstown PA l890l Heloful Pqvcholodst: Steven Gutstein, PhD, 455O Post Oak Pl, Sutte #342, Hottston'[X77O27:

713-621-7496

PEN.PALS Chll&cn eirtlng pcn-Flr should write

WHEN YOU WRITE US Pleasc - (l) Put separate lterns ofbuslness on scparate shects ofpapcr. (2) hrt your namc and addrcss at the top ofeach lctter. (3) Ifyou ask quesflons, enclos€ a self-addressed stamped erwelope. (4) Tell us lf lt's OK to publtsh your lettcr, and whether to usc your namc wlth thc story. We edit l€tters for spacc and clarlty.

CATALOG INFORMATION Our fall catalogwasbound tnto GwS #65. S€parate coples are also avallable. Wc e<pcct our spring 1989 catalog to be malled ln Aprtl. On request. we wlll photocopy and mall the GWS revlew of any ltem In our catalog. S€nd 50 ccnts plus a SASE foronq add 25 ccnts for each

l-3 words on lntcrcsts

===

SCHROTH, FO Box 25O. Cobalt CT06414: Alison (8) rcadtng. plano, art Jon (A lcgoe, computcrs,

=: Scth BAILEY (O f6ff crant St. Bcrkeley C.A 947O3; Jets, chess, motorcycles =-= T'ara BERGERON (f2) 464f N Campbell, Portland OR 97217-3322: crafts, movies, outdoors === Julian SNYDER (6) 20556 Entradero Av, Torrance CA 9O5O3: science, rabbits, art:= Jeremy SIEDEL (4) 838 WAxton Rd #55, Bclllr4lam V/A 98226; gmnasflcs, rrature, books =: Sophte IARRIMORE lel l4O2 Catlyn Pl, Arurapolis MD 2l4oli soccer, crafts, skatlng =: Tort LENNOX (7) RR I Box 34, Nerp Haven VT O5742t danclng, skadng, reading === Joy CRANDALL (lA Rt 3 Box 125, Woodbum Hill Farm, Mccharrfcsvllle MD 2O659t writing, muslc, skatlng:= BERGIN, RR I Box lO5, Blue Hlll ME 04614: Matthew (l l) archery, carpentry, hor:sesi Danlel (8) tracldng, ess4qr, fi6rsss === Janelle FACCHINO (8) 6390 Vla Arnigos, San Josc CA 95120; readtng, wridng. snrlmmlng === Jason TOFANI (9) RFD *l Box 34i!. Lebanon ME O4A27 l 4-whe*lcrs, ff shlng, boadng := RUMBAISI(. Box 18 Duck Run Rd. Mackeyville PAITTSO:. Carl (fO) modcls. cooldng, readtngg; Kallna (9) Barbtes, cats, horscs; Yuri (6) cowboys, guitars, plss =- ${LJLL, Rt I Box 795, Partlow VA 22534: Allcn (f f) ships, alrcraft, scruts: Sarah (10) horscs, acflng, sln{tngi Sammy (4) trucks, cars, blocks =- KIELTYf(A, Rt 2 Box 130, EttrlckWI 54627: Joseph (11) dlnosaurs, nature, sculpture; Domtntc (9) nature, anlmals, building =: Carolyn HEiDERSON (9) 29 D Llne, Richards knding, Ontarto POR lJO, Canada === SaTa VOSTITSANOS (lOl lO7 Helaine Rd, Manchester CT 06040: adv€ntures, danger, cralts

geography

and early educadon. Complete Teachlqg Guldes Pr€K-6, Art, Keyboard|rg, K-8 untt studtes, Cuiscnaire Base Tcn, guaranteed GED prep, Standardized test help, How-To-Books, Bushnell sclcnce cqulpmcnt/fnqutry s€ts. Great prlccs. Frec catalog. LEARNING AT HOUE, bx 27OG68, Honaunau, HI 96726.

If,OTIIER'S HELPER WAIYTED for horncschool famtly, chtldren 8. 7. and 5. Room, boerd, car provlded, plus salary. Frec ffme for part-ttrnc Job or studies. Wrlte Ltnda Schroth. FO Box 25O,

Cobalt CTO6414.

TryJapan?t Wcrc an'Engllsh school- ergecung our 3rd child, needtng;help, wanttng someonc to stay, 'teach,- and share Japanesc ltfcstylc wtth us. Malrls. l3 Naka-rnachl, Nishlo-shl, Alchl-kcn, Japan 445 EREE Sclcnce Megezlnc loaded wlth ec<pcrtments: TOPS ldeas, lO97O S Mulino Rd, Canby

oR97013.

additlonal.

COLORFI'L IIARDWOOD PIIXZZLES . EDUCAIIONAL AND flrNl Our 'Alphaworm'

DECLASSIFIED ADS

puzzlc fcatures both uppcr and lower casc lettersl 25 handcrafted designs to choose from. Color catalog. Every Buddles Garden, PO Box778, Conrallts. OR 97339-O78a.

to those listed, To be listed, scnd name, age.

address. and

UORtt More math, muslc, sclence,

F.ates: 7o?/word. $l /r*urd boldfecc. $5 minimum, Pleasc tcll thesc folksyou saw the ad

irrGWS. INTRODUCE YOI'R CHILDREN 1\O A SECOND LANGUAGET Deltghttul bilingual story tapes, storybooks, Ilashcards, workbooks and morel Unlversity recommended. Easy & fun. kesctrool throug! elementa4r. (Spanlsh or French.l SASE for frcc brochure. Hear An' Tcll Mventures, 32O Bunkcr Hlll, Houston, TX 77024.

HOltrE EDITCAIION PRESS publlshes Horne Educatlon Magazlne, Thc Home School h:lmer, Alternatlves ln Educa[on, and nowThe Homc School Reader. faturlng thc writlng of John Holt, Nancy Wallace. Marlo Pagnonl, Susannah Sheffer. and mar5r othersl 168 page. $I2.75

pctpaid. Free 16pagc catalogl Box 1O83, Tonasket, WA 9aa55, 509-446-f35f.

r ENTRY FORM FOR DIRECTORY

If you would like to be in the Directory and have not yet told us, send in this form, or use a postcard or 3x5 card (only one family per card). Adults (ftrst and last names): Organization (only if address is same as farnily):

Chtldren (Names/Btrthyears): F\rU Address (Street, Ctty, State, Ztp):

If thts ts an address change, what was Prevlous state?

Are you willing to host travellng GWS readers who rnake advanc€ arT.urgements ln No

wrtttng? Yes

GRO1VING WITHOUT SCHOOLING #68

HOW TO GET STARTED Herc are some waysyou can ffnd out the Iegal sltuaflon teyour state, l) Look up the law yoursclf. ln a public librar5r or law libra5r (courthousc, law school, etc.l Laurs are lndexed; try "school attendance'or 'educatlon, compulsory.' lg states have revlsed their home educadon laws slnce 1982 so check thc recent statute changes. Wc have printed or summarlzed thesc ner r laws ln our back issues. 2) Ask the state

departnent ofeducaflon for

any laws or rcguladons pcrtatntng to homeschooltng and/or starflng a prlvate school. In some states (parttcularly CA, IL, IN, KY) there are fenr regplaflons concerrring prlvate schools and so you can call your home a school. Ifyou are concerncd about revealtngyour rrame and address to the statc, do this througlr a frlend. 3) Contact statc or local homeschooltng groups. Ttrls list was last prtnted in cWS #66, and ls updated and sold separatcly for g2 as part of our'Homcschoolingl Resourcc List.' Some gmups have prcpared handbooks or guidelines on legel ms11ens. Often, thesc groups can tell you morc about the legal climate In a state than arr1ronc elsc carr -

whcthcrnew legtslaUon is

p€nding, for example , and how the present law is beingenforced. 4) Contact other familles llsted in our Directory. This ts parttcularly useful if you ltve in a state that leavcs homeschoollng decislons up to lndividual school dlstrlcts. When you contact these famlltes, help them by havlng done some research on your own llrst. 5) ln gcrreral, tt ls not wlse to start by asktng your local school distrlct; they usually don't know thc law elthcr. Better to gather the facts llrst on your ourn.

RENEWALS At the bottom of thls page is a fom you can use to r€ncw)rour subscrlptlon. Please help us by rencwing early. How can you tell when your subscription

qP@

the next lssuc. But lf \f,c wcr€ to rccclvc their renewal before we sent our ffnal account changcs

to the maillng housc (Junc ll, thcy would qualt& for the frec bonus lssuc. Renerpal rates arrc thc samc as for n€w subscrlpdons: $2O for 6 lssues, $36 for 12 lssucs, $48 for l8 lssues.

Group Subrcrlptlonr: all coplcs arc malled to one address. Plcase pa.y wlth one chccl. Here are thc orrcnt group ratcs (lX mcans you get onc copy ofcach lssuc, 2X mcans you gct 2 coples ofeach lssuc, 3X mcans 3 coplcs, ctc.l

I ycar 2 yrs. 3 yrs. 6lss. 12lss. l8lss,

SUBSCRIPTIONS Subscrlptions start wtth the next igsuc publlshed. Our curcnt rates are $2O for 6 lssues, $36 for 12 issues. $48 for l8 tssucs. GWS ls published evcry other month. A slnglle issue costs $s.50. Foreign payments must be clther money orders ln US funds or chccks dranm on US banks. We can't alford to acccpt pcrsorral checks on Canadlan accounts, cvcn lf they havc'US funds' wrltten on them. Outslde of North Amertca. add $lO peryear for airmall (othenvtsc, allow 2-3 months for surfacc mall). BacL lrauc.3 We strong;ly urge you to get the back issues of cWS, especial$r tfyou plan to t.ke your children out of school. Many of the articles are as useful and lmportant as whcrr they were printed, and we do not plan to rcpeat the lnformation tn them. All back issues are kept In

prlnt. Our rates for back lssues: any combinatlon of back issues, mailcd at one timc to one address.

cost $2 per lssue, plus $2 per order. A complete set costs $1OO. These rates are for subscrlbers on$: non-subscribem pay $3.5O pcr issue. Indcrer to GWS (spcciS item number): #38O Index to GWS #f -3O, $2.5O: #382 Index to #31-4O, $l; #384 Index to #41-5O. $1.5O: #3a5 Index to #51-60, $2.: #381 Set ofall lndexcs. $5. Blndcrr are available wlth rods that hold GWS without obscurlng any text. Gold letters on cover, #33O Binderwlth 24 rods (holds GWS #l24), $fO; #328 Btnderwlth 18 rods (holds 18 later issues), $9.5O. #326 S€t of4 Binders and 78 rods (holds cWS #r-78), $35. Add packing and dellvery charge for binders

lx 2X 3x 4X $( 6)(

$2o $36 $4e $60 $70 $78

$36 $64 $90 $rl2 $130 $144

$48 $90 $126 $156

$r80 $216

7X 8X. ctc: $12 per pcrson Frycar.

Plea* scnd ln thc names and addrcss of mcmbers ofyour group sub, so that wc can keep In touch with thcm. Thanks.

cWS wrr foundcd ln 1977 by John Holt. Editor - Susarurah Shcffer Managtng Edltor - Patrlck Farcnga Contributlng Editor - Donna Richoux Editorlal Assistant - Ma5r Maher Editorial Consultant - Nanry Wallace Book & Subscrlption Manag€r - Day Farcnga Book Shlpper/Rcceivcr - Ann Barr Offfce Assistant - Mar3r Mahcr Holt Associates Board of Directors: Patrlck Farenga (Corporatc hesident). Mary Maher. Tom Maher. ftonna Rlchoux, Susarurah Sheffer Advlsors to the Board: Steve Rupprecht, Mary Van Doren, Nanry Wallace

Copyrtght

@ 1989

Holt Associates, lnc.

I SP o)to 5 + (ols.

(sec center pages).

r2345

27ol€

16MAINST

PL,AINVITrFNY

FFE

Addrer Chugcr: tf you'rc moving. let us know your new address a9 soo!! as possible. Please enclose a recent label (or copy ofone). Issues rnissed because ofa change In address

JIMANDMARYSMTH

OlIII

The number that ts underhned in the example tells the number of the final tssue for thc subscription. The Smiths'sub o<plres with Issuc #69,

may be replaced for $2 cach. The po.st olffe destroys your ml*sed tssues and charge us a notlllcation fee, so we can't afford to replace them

without chargc

FIF Clq

-l

SUBSCRIPTION AI\ID RENEWAL FORM

Usc tlris form to subscribc or renry to GROWING WTIJOUT SCHOOLING. For renewals, placc thc labcl from a recent lsue bclow, lf posiblc. lf not, print thc lnfo. Cllp and send with your chcck or money ordcr in USfunds.Or.youmaynowsubscribcorrencwbyphoncwithMastercardorVisa;call 617-864-3100.

Thanks.

Nw subscrlption

Rencwal

' Gift subscrlDtion to bc sent to namc shown.

Account Numbcr (for renewals): I

Name:

Expiration Code (for rencwals): I

Address (Change? ycs/no)

City, State, Zip: 6 issues,

GrouoSub:

$2O coDles of

12 issucs,

$36

issucs, $

HEH

18 issues, $48

{*c

chart)

:EE

n3h

It is OK to scll my namc and address to other organlzatlons.

GROWING WITIIOI.N SCHOOUNG #68