APRIL 2012
COGNITION MAGAZINE
Why should you ask yourself “WHY”?...finding your PURPOSE
Fitness in Black America: Those SEXY Thoughts
with Gentelle Pedescleaux
after dark…. Being for real: Hazing/Humility ?
Want to get over that past relationship? How to move forward
WTF
is Social Media Doing to Us?
CONTRIBUTING
Writers Darrin L. Harris Deanna Theriot Dr. Ada C. Roberson Kwaku Kushindana Robyne Boyce Hayli Thompson Shawniece “QB� McMillan Lyiena McMillain Rachel Kostelec For Advertising Information contact
Founder/CHIEF EDITOR Malcolm M. Armstrong Jr. Cognition Magazine, LLC is a thought provoking digital magazine dedicated to the new age mind, body, and soul of black America with emphasis on wellness and psychological well being. Cognition Magazine touches on subjects that we all can relate to such as Love & Relationships, Health & Fitness, Entertainment, and Travel & Leisure. The goal of this magazine is to highlight the significant thoughts and mental strategies used in all of our daily activities and life events. Cognition Magazine is intended to be a publication that exposes our thoughts and innermost feelings on various topics that appeal to the African American community. Cognition Magazine is distributed monthly and is
available in digital format.
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Cognition Magazine, LLC 3308 Tulane Avenue Ste. 303 New Orleans, Louisiana 70119 Phone: (504) 208-0704 Email: marmstrong@cognitionmagazine.com
Website: www.cognitionmagazine.com
Reproduction of any part of this publication without the express written consent of the publisher is strictly prohibited, Cognition Magazine is a product of Cognition Magazine, LLC . The information within this publication is believed to be accurate but Cognition Magazine does not guarantee accuracy. Cognition Magazine, LLC will not be held responsible for the quality or performance of goods and services provided by advertisers or any other portion of this publication.
CONTENTS Cover Story
Editors Note ~4~ Entertainment & Fashion ~6~ “Be for Real” Pledging: Hazing vs. Humility ~9~ Ask Dr. Ada ~12~
Interview with Gentelle Pedescleaux of PEDS – NOLA ~18~
Featured Articles Why Ask Why?” … The Authentic “Why” ~8~ “
Health & Fitness Food 4 Thought...Brain Foods ~16~ “Health & Soul” Recipe ~17~ Love & Relationships Surviving that Breakup ~28~ Thoughts after Dark w/ QB ~30~ “Rehab” /Travel & Leisure Ready for Rastafest 2012
Technology Sexting… WTF? ~34~ Are We Still Social? ~33~ 3
~31~
From the Editor This issue of Cognition Magazine is probably the most challenging thing I've ever done but I felt it was necessary. Several months ago I was at a drugstore with a client of mine waiting on a prescription. While waiting, she and I looked at the magazine rack and I was looking for something good to read...I mean something really good to read. I was looking for something that will make me want to be better, something that will inspire me other than video vixens or men with 6 pack abs that I don't have. All I wanted to read was something to make me think about the things I do on a daily basis and how to slowly transition myself into a life of wellness and enhanced self care. In the words of Mahatma Ghandi, “Be the change you wish to see” and thus I came up with the idea of Cognition Magazine. The goal of Cognition Magazine is to inspire the African American community AKA Black America to take better care of ourselves and embrace “Us” more. The months leading up to this April issue have been the most challenging for me in all five areas of my life; mentally, physically, spiritually, financially, and relationally. I've experienced life, death, loss, gain, distance, new relationships, sickness, and health (Exhausting right?). I said to myself, if lil’ ole me is going through this...can you imagine what the rest of the world is going through? We as people of color are resilient, bold, and responsible for so much, but when are we responsible for ourselves? When do we take care of us? The mission of this publication was clear after attempting to answer these questions. We are a beautiful sector of people with a beautiful and strong history and its time for us to know that its ok to relax and not be so strong all the time. We need to practice enjoying us more and further engage in self care. I hope you enjoy this issue and stay engaged with us for further issues especially because ITS FREE lol! Enjoy and provide any feed back, were tough! Happy reading. Yours in #WELLNESS, Malcolm M. Armstrong Jr. Founder & Chief Editor marmstrong@cognitionmagazine.com @cognition_mag
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Entertainment & Fashion
Real Housewife‌..REAL TROUBLE???? A young lady Angela Stanton is claiming that
Phaedra Parks
she, of Real Housewives of Atlanta and Apollo (Phaedra's Husband) were all involved in an illegal car theft ring. Stanton went to Vibe Magazine with her tell all book: "Lies of a Real Housewife: - Tell the Truth and Shame the Devil." The car theft ring was allegedly led by Miss Parks and her husband Apollo who served time for activity dealing with his involvement. When he was released from prison in 2009, the two married and now have a son. Stanton is reportedly releasing her story now, because Phaedra agreed to represent her if anything happened, (which did, Stanton was arrested and served 5 years in State Pen) but fell back on her word. We all know that various people do all types of scams and schemes to keep up or to obtain the image they want to acquire. Plus the chop shops and insurance fraud scams have been going on for ages. If Miss Parks was the master mind behind this, she is in for some serious trouble.
Oh Beyonce‌.
s an
Beyonce (Knowlesle r Carter) revealed O n i her Tumblr to w s T t A Ne the world along in E a H with her upS T A dated website. OD H She posted sevSaints Coach #W eral pics of her and her family. has been suspended Check out a few without pay for the 2012 season. Former Saints Defensive Coordinator Greg Williams below and visit is banned from the league indefinitely. Godell her new site has also suspended Saints GM Micky Lumas http:// for the first 8 regular season games and Assis- beyonce.com tant Coach Joe Vitt has to sit out the first 6 games. The Saints were fined 500k and they have to forfeit second rounds draft picks for the next couple years. WOW. What a punishment. I know my New Orleans Saints fans are enraged about all of this.
Sean
Peyton
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The 41 year old ACTRESS,
Tami Roman from the reality show "Basketball Wives," apparently suffered from a mild heart attack. With all the DRAMA she starts and is always in at her age, I'm surprised something like this didn't happen sooner. I mean, GOD don't like UGLY. Maybe this will slow her and her messy, childish antics down. #Prayforher
Rapper Tyga from YMCMB was on tour last night in Omaha, Nebraska. He apparently got into a verbal altercation with fans. It led to a fight and after the concert, his tour bus was shot up. 2 of his artists were hit. One of them, a upcoming female rapper Honey Cocaine was shot. She tweeted about the incident.
Spring 2012 Trends
Entertainment & Fashion
Vh-1 Reality TV Star Under Attack ‌..
Lyiena or La from A Dose BE BOLD & BRIGHT Bold prints have been showing up on runways all over. It is a MUST HAVE trend in women's spring fashion for 2012. 7
of LA gives you the news with a twist for Cogntion Mag. Not only does she bring you the news to keep you informed, but she writes pieces to inspire and uplift her readers. She's a Writer, Rapper, Blogger, Public Speaker and a Socialite. You can catch her at a hip hop show, promoting events, updating blogs, volunteering in her church and evangelizing in the community. Follow her on Twitter @lanino_brown Intel courtesy of : adoseofla.blogspot.com
Asking Yourself “WHY” … Why ask
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ne of the greatest mistakes that an individual can make is to not understand their “why.” Having a clear sense of “why” brings meaning and purpose to what and how you do what you do. In fact, knowing your “why” is not only a way to gain success, but it is the only way to sustain a lasting success. In addition, everything you say and do should line up with what you believe in, something in which we refer to as authenticity. Authenticity cannot be realized or achieved without clarity of “why.”
“WHY”?
When you understand and believe in your “why” you will be able to motivate and inspire others toward loyalty and action. Why is only the genesis and a starting point. In order for your “why” to become authentic you must prove it by what you do. The “why” is the belief, the “how's” are the actions we take to prove our “why” and the “what's” are the results of those actions. At the end of the day the only way people will know what you believe is by what you say and do. If you are inconsistent in word and deed, no one will know what you believe.
The “why” provides a context for everything else. Having clarity of your “why” requires you to be disciplined and accountable to your own guiding principles, beliefs and values.
By: Darrin L. Harris
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“Hey,
you. Yes you over there—you wanna be down with me? You wanna roll with me and my set? You want the perks of being affiliated with my organization? Cool. Then let me beat your ass and humiliate you for a period of time to be decided by me and my cohorts so that we can determine how truly dedicated you are to our pedigree. Sound good?” No, actually fool that sounds ridiculous and I would have to be equally ridiculous to agree to such asinine terms. When written out plainly in print that way, the notion of “pledging” seems rather imprudent, but when you, a prospective member of an organization, decide to rush the implications of hazing don’t come across in such an overtly nonsensical fashion, do they? No, when you go to that informational and turn in your paperwork in the hopes of receiving an offer letter to join the frat/ sorority of your heart’s desire, you click your heels at the thought of “crossing the burning sands.” You relish the opportunity to undergo an intense, rigorous “process” worthy of the respect given all your other would-be Frat/Sorors on the yard.
You long for the camaraderie that is shared between line brothers and sisters after surviving the intense bonding experience that is known as “pledging”. Most importantly, you would rather DIE than risk being known among your fellows as…“Paper.” That appellation is possibly the worst insult one could incur among black undergrad Greeks-naming hoes things like “Confetti” and “Xerox” and “FedEx” to solidify their reputations as nonpledged pseudo Greeks. When a prospect opts out of the pledge process monikers like those are spitefully assigned to portray the named as less noble than their peers who were “made”. Paper members of black Greek organizations are often singled-out by the Made Greeks on the yard and must face their ridicule and scorn. Even non-Greek undergrads look upon Paper Pledges unfavorably for their purported lack of loyalty to their respective organizations. In short, “They ain’t real.” Only those who were “Made” have earned their right of membership. 9
Be for Real
Pledging: Humility vs. Hazing
I’m not one to rush to judgment so in the past I’ve asked many of my Made friends why they chose to endure the physical and psychological abuse of pledging rather than commit the utterly taboo act of dropping line. While there were a number of varying responses, these were the most common rationales I heard: “My frat/sorors didn’t put me through anything that they didn’t survive themselves.” “Paper pledges don’t share that strong bond with their line and their big brothers/sisters.” “There isn’t much in life that you can’t face after you cross.” “Just studying and taking a test isn’t enough.” “It’s supposed to teach you to be humble.” “The process is supposed to build you up not break you down.” “A difficult process builds not only confidence but character.”
The fact is that a good number of those dead/critically injured/ psychologically scarred pledges would have never made the news if they simply say said “No.” I personally believe the most puzzling issue at the root of hazing is why DO so many pledges willingly participate? Is it that critical for them to be Greek and Made? Is the inference of inadeIn my non-affiliated ears, those quacy associated with being Paper all sound like excuses to be a damn so awful that one would welcome vi- fool. Life is hard all by itself. 10
In spite of the unscrupulous culture (and illegality) of hazing, we read so many shocking headlines of Chapters that took things “too far” and pledges that were seriously injured or, worse, killed while on line. When these stories come to light, officials of the organizations and institutions decry the heinous acts of the members but what of the pledges? Do they not put their own lives on the line by allowing themselves to be hazed? If they never showed up for set how could they ever be at risk?
cious abuses just to be “real”? Is “dropping line” such a sign of weakness that the alternative of being tortured is more favorable? Obviously so.
Be for Real
Only those who had the fortitude to withstand the harrowing trials of hazing are bona fide Greeks… Bitch, be for real! (Any living thing inhabiting this Earth can only be “made” once, and I assure you that the NPHC had nothing to do with it.)
I also understand the need to foster trust and loyalty in Greek organizations by having an incoming line operate as one unified, indivisible body. In understand the need to be able to put all faith in one you would call “Sister” or “Brother.” Weak links must be rooted out for the purposes of strength, longevity and integrity. That being said… I don’t understand how one could put his trust in a group of people who wouldn’t mind beating him within inches of his life. I don’t understand how one could be loyal to an organization that would willfully humiliate her just to qualify her worth. I don’t see the integrity in gratuitously put-
ting human lives at risk under the auspices of an organization that claims to be dedicated to scholarship and service. Although I cannot, with my own understanding, accept or justify hazing as a necessary rite of passage into black Greek life, I can admit that my non-affiliation causes me to lack insight on the pledge process and its (im)morality despite my many strong opinions on the matter. Accepting my ignorance, I feel I must relent. I (with my lack of knowledge of the validity of the controversial methods involved in the “membership intake process”) can accept that hazing is simply an intensive, accelerated course on how to withstand the many trials of life while becoming a stronger person for it… hence the risk of death. Fair enough. P.S.: You Negroes are in college. Stop tryna be hard. Ain’t nothin’ “softer” than a degree.
By: D.A. Theriot 11
Be for Real
I don’t need some egotistical, power mad jerk barely two years older than me to beat my ass on a daily basis to simulate the experience of hardship. I’d rather not learn humility/brotherhood/confidence/loyalty by being treated as a pet in need of housebreaking but I’ve never been one to submit to an ass whuppin’ without a fight anyway…Now, don’t get me wrong. I know that every chapter of every Greek organization doesn’t put their prospects through a hazing process. Furthermore I know that not all those who do have a process use violence and psychological warfare as initiation tools.
How do I deal with others that annoy the crap out of me in workplace? -The annoyed worker
Ask Dr. Ada
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on’t surrender your power to others! Too often, we allow the actions of others to dictate our moods, our actions, our feelings. This is especially true when dealing with people with whom we may not see eye to eye. You already know before you get into the office, that you work with someone that is annoying right? Well, why would you allow yourself to be negatively affected by someone who is behaving just as they are expected to behave? Let me explain…envision that you go sit by a pool one hot summer day, someone dives in the pool, and splashes water on you. Do you choose to get upset and begin yelling at the person for jumping in the pool because you got wet, or do you smile to yourself and say “Well, I guess I should have expected that, I am sitting my butt right by the pool.” The first scenario will leave you aggravated and unhappy, while the second scenario would likely leave you feeling just as good if not better than you felt when you sat by the pool because now, at least you’re cooled off a bit by that water. The only thing that has changed is the way you choose to view the situation. If you choose to walk in love and happiness, discontent and annoyance can’t touch you. Try it!
Why do I feel anger towards death and is it natural? -Cali-kid
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here are five widely accepted major stages of grief and loss: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Elizabeth Kübler-Ross first introduced these stages in her 1969 book, On Death and Dying. You should recognize that these stages are not meant to be complete or chronological, and that reactions to illness, death, and loss are as unique as the person experiencing them. What’s important is that you give yourself permission to feel whatever it is you need to feel while you work to cope with your loss. Anger is very often part of the process. I also encourage you to seek out support from loved ones, a counselor, or a support group, which has proven to be very effective with helping people adjust to life after the loss of a loved one.
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he short answer to your question is no, however, before you begin jumping to conclusions, let me explain. Anyone who tells you that you should live with your significant other before you commit to marriage is just as wrong as the person that tells you that you should not live together before marriage. Confused yet? Well… the reality of the situation is that the decision to live with your mate should be made by two people, you and your mate. There are lots of reasons that people choose to live together before marriage, including financial, convenience, necessity, etc. The more important thing to consider is whether or not you’re truly ready to share your life with someone. There is no relationship that is perfect, this includes the marital relationship. If you are prepared to give more of your“The more important thing to consider self than you sometimes reis whether or not you’re truly ready to ceive, to take share your life with someone” the high road even when you feel that you are wronged, to commit to putting your wants behind those of your mate, and living with someone that you may not like all of the time but are dedicated to always respecting, then you may be ready to take the leap into the marriage pond. Relationships are just like we are, living breathing things that grow and evolve. You cannot avoid the ups and downs of a marriage by taking a test run at living together first. But, there’s no reason not to live together if you and your significant other feel that it is the right thing for you.
Ask Dr. Ada
Is it better to live together before you commit to marriage? -Regina
Dr. Ada Craig Roberson is a dedicated wife, mother and advocate for those in need. She is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker within the state of Louisiana and holds a Doctoral degree in Counseling Psychology. Ada has a wealth of experience in working with disadvantaged individuals and has taken the term “Life Enhancement” into a whole new meaning within the social services industry. Her ability to truly understand human behavior has allowed her to transform the lives of many individuals, some of which were hopeless in the eyes of society. She loves a good piece of fine chocolate, a good challenge and stimulating activities. If you have an issue you would like to bring to Dr. Ada’s attention please email askdrada@cognitionmagazine.com or make a post on the Ask Dr. Ada page on www.cognitionmagazine.com
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Health & Fitness
BRAIN FOOD….What to Eat to Get Your Juices Flowing by: Hayli Thomson
It’s a regular occurrence that current affair programs are telling us what to and what not to eat to save our health from the junk we consume today. We’re afraid of all sorts of life-threatening illnesses- heart-disease, cancer, liver failure. We look for any way possible to say alive longer. But we hardly ever consider one of the most important organs we use whilst we are alive- our brain. Here are some foods that promote brain power.
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pples contain the antioxidant quercetin, a chemical which, according to a study at Cornell University, protects against cognitive decline through reducing the risk of attacks on brain cells. It is also important to note that while quercetin keeps the mental juices flowing, quercetin itself is not really found in the juices of the apple, but rather in the delicious skin of the fruit.
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pinach and other green, leafy vegetables are leading preventers of dementia, due to their abundance of the nutrients foliate, vitamin E, and vitamin K. CNN reported that ‘a 2006 Neurology study reveals that eating three servings of leafy green, yellow and cruciferous vegetables a day can delay cognitive decline by 40 percent.’ If you can find a way to incorporate three servings a day into your meal plan, particularly leafy greens, then it’s definitely worth it!
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esearchers at the University of Cincinnati discovered that grape juice and blackberries can enhance spatial memory and verbal learning skills. It is strongly believed that grape juice polyphenols are of great importance when it comes to the communication between brain cells, which assists the mind in learning, and memorization. The operative word to remember when it comes to the link between blackberries and mental health is ‘communication’. Brain cells need to link and soak up information, and a handful of berries a day or a glass of grape juice at breakfast, is sure to get those brain cells talking rather than mumbling. 16
Health & Fitness
Health & Soul Recipe Oven Fried Catfish: (serving size: 4)
1 lbs Catfish 1 Cup of Seasoned fish coating 1/2 Cup of egg substitute Salt & Pepper to taste (optional) 1 Lemon Wedge Directions: 1) Preheat oven to 400 degrees F 2) Coat cooking pan with cooking spray 3) Pour egg substitute in bowl and mix in optional seasonings 4) Squeeze lemon juice over catfish and coat filets in the mixture 5) Place filets on cooking pan and bake for 10-15 mins until fish is browned on the bottom 6) Turn over filets and bake for 5-8 mins more until browned 7) Serve & Enjoy 17
GETTING FIT ‌.Mentally & Physically Interview with NOLA fitness instructor:
Gentelle Pedscaleaux
By: Malcolm Armstrong Jr. Photos courtesy of PEDS-NOLA
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Cognition Magazine sat down with New Orleans’ own fitness diva Gentelle Pedscaleaux inside of her artist loft apartment to talk physical fitness within black America. This sista has an incredibly vibrant and energetic persona that holds nothing back. CM: So tell us about your credentials, what do you do, and your background?
lifestyle for ourselves. It (referring to dance & fitness) was something that was always embedded in me, especially with healthy eating, healthy living. I could remember in the 80’s there was this program called “Get in Shape Girls” (she describes the cassette tapes and dance ribbons) it was bananas because even then my mom was depositing this seed (her talent) into me and it has grown and been nourished as well as water and she would invest in me by buying me these cassette tapes. I would pop in the cassette tapes, put on my waist bands, the arm bands, my unitard… leg warmers, and I’m just getting it in on the middle of the floor ya heard me. It (the exercises) was fun, it was something I enjoyed doing (eluding to the fact that it was so much fun that it did not feel like an exercise) until I just took to it and I was like…ok this is what I was designed and created to do.
GP: (She sits back and states how she loves the way the interviewer says her last name) I have been dancing for several, several years. I first got my start second lining….Um I’ve been second lining since I was 4 years old I’m very very deeply rooted in the second line culture. It has been a year and a half now that I have been a certified Samba instructor, however I have always been into health and fitness by way of dance, it has been something I enjoy a lot and it is something that I definitely have a passion for. I also teach young kids dance as well. I have had the opportunity to travel abroad to Berlin, Germany and that was definitely an experience. CM: Now tell me this, what is Zumba?
“I just took to it and I was like… ok this is what I was designed and created to do.”
CM: When did you figure out that you wanted to do dance and fitness?
GP: Zumba is a Latin inspired dance/fitness program. What I love so much about Zumba is that there is no right or wrong way to do Zumba, it’s almost like your psyching yourself ya know, beGP: When did I figure it out? (Gentelle reflects cause when people think about exercise, they think back and ponders)… I know it’s something that I ‘oh its dreadful…this is going to hurt’ you’re dancalways had a passion for. I was a natural…period, ing, that’s all you’re doing. You are burning major, always have been a natural in the area of physical major, major calories and before you know it, 30 fitness as well as dance. I would always be that kid minutes to an hour has passed and you don’t realize in PE that would always like to dress out because I how many calories you have actually burned and wanted to show off my legs because I have nice all you’re doing is doing simple dance moves. legs (as she boasts and proudly sticks her chest You’re doing hip hop moves; regetons and your out). It wasn’t until recently, honestly when I disworking out, you’re actually getting fit. I always covered that this is what I am called to do. It’s leave them wanting more! funny because all of us whom are artist and visual people, we always take our natural born abilities for granted, we don’t look at it as something we can actually capitalize off of and make a lucrative 19
CM: Cognition Magazine is a wellness inspired magazine, we’re promoting wellness in the black community and trying to get people to take better care of themselves mentally, physically, spiritually, tell me about some of the responses you have been getting from your workout sessions? GP: I've been getting a lot of good responses, its funny that you ask that… CM: And mention some of the bad ones (responses) too, if there are any.
really hard that last session. I'm telling you, when they leave me, they’re like ‘ughhhhh I’m not doing that’ or ‘I cant’. I love it when they say ‘I can’t’ it’s an automatic 5 pushups out the gate. CM: So it’s an automatic 5 pushups when you say ‘I can’t’? GP: You can use any four letter word, any four letter word. You can use the “S” word; you can use the “F” word but see that “C” word…that’s a curse word to me, no you can’t use that. STOP drop and give me 5.
GP: Well…would being cursed out be considered a bad response? But I can take it though because I’ll CM: Another positive thing you said that I caught curse back. (The duo share a laugh as Gentelle on to was that you give your clients the name gives a bold expression and goes into a story about “Team-Mates.” Explain that? a particular response she received from one of her cliGP: At ents). “Other personal trainers refer to people as first I Actuwould say ally, their “clients” but what I find is when you’re clients, its but it funny doing group exercise, you have other people to sounds beso…(she hold you accountable and you are a team.” cause was lost one of for words) my team members, I like to refer to my people (class participants) as team members asked me ‘do CM: It sounds so impersonal? you get offended when we complain?’ I said no I don’t, I used to take it very personal in the beginning but she (the team member) stated that we need GP: It does, especially in the business of what I do. you; we need that person like you that continues to It does sound very very um…very…it just doesn’t motivate us and push us. I had one young lady on sound intimate so I say that’s my team mates belast week (in her fitness class) she made a post on face book on my wall regarding a suit that she was cause we are a team. We are there for one another, we push one another, a lot of times when we see not able to get into and she said after taking the other people struggle temporarily, I encourage my class for so many months she was able to fit back into that suit which made her feel very, very confi- ladies to clap her in or cheer her on, root for her so dent…it was a very emotional day for her. Just re- that she can go on. Sometimes I will even fall back cently a young lady texted me and she was like is and allow someone else to lead. I do not have to be class on for today and I said absolutely. She texted the one in the forefront all the time. Other personal back and said between my legs are burning (she laughs out loud as interviewer waits for the punch trainers refer to people as their clients but what I find is when you’re doing group exercise, you have line). I texted her back and said its better for it to be burning between your legs than for it to be itch- other people to hold you accountable and you are a ing between your legs, I started laughing and said team. It’s the only way we can successfully get I’d take a burn any day over that. I guess she was through this thing you know? basically referring to the fact that I had worked her 20
CM: I like that, I like that concept. In light of getting in shape physically, what are some of the things that your classes target health wise?
It’s a huge transformation with us in our culture. Another thing too, and someone brought this to my attention, it’s all in how you are reared or how you grew up. Everything is portion sized abroad. McDonalds overseas, they do not have the Big Mac GP: Health wise? Those huge things like high or the arch deluxe they do not have those things blood pressure, heart disease, high cholesterol, and because her in America it’s more like we’re getting more for our money, whereas there everything is that killer diabetes, they’re taking “us” (African portion controlled or portion sized. Mc Donald’s Americans) out like HIV/ AIDS, its major. It is even has veggie burgers there. I can remember (as really taking us out; it’s such a lifestyle change, it’s she recalls childhood memories) the plate being set a transformation of the mind even with that. Say before me, ‘don’t get up from the table…until you for example, we have such a rich base (referring to finish’ do you remember that? the culinary culture of New Orleans) the gumbos, the pastas, it’s in our culture to consume carbs. CM: I remember that Everything that’s cooked we eat it with rice or pasta. GP: So in our minds, psychologically it’s like, I CM: (adds in) that’s a lot of carbs…and bread too have to eat this but our parents and our grandparents are looking at it from the point of well don’t GP: And bread, aww man bread pudding, French waste food, don’t be wasteful but at the same time bread, and I love me some bread pudding, with the you still can implement not being wasteful with rum sauce, the real rum sauce (she places emphasis implementing portion control. It was very seldom on real rum sauce). Even with our crawfish intake we went to a friend’s house to eat (as a child grow(eluding to crawfish season in Louisiana), we must ing up) that there were salads and vegetables. In watch our sodium intake with that (being that crawfish boil seasoning is so infused with sodium). my home we had salads and fresh vegetables; that 21
was our thing, we had fresh fruit. It (fresh fruits, veggies and salads) was the norm for me and I support Michelle’s (Michelle Obama) efforts to so very much regarding that (nutrition). CM: Yea, how do you feel about her movement, get fit initiative? GP: Man that whole healthy eating; let’s move… galvanizing these kids into a better way of life is amazing. It is amazing. When I speak of heart disease, I’m a young lady who is a heart disease survivor; I am a product of three open heart surgeries so I have to make sure I’m taking very good care of myself. My mother has been diagnosed with diabetes; she has it under control right now. Unfortunately maybe about a decade ago, my brother was diagnosed with um, diabetes as well unfortunately he actually was damn near in a diabetic coma when he realized he had diabetes and both of them (mother and brother) are fighting it as champions. He (speaking of her brother) was at one time insulin dependent but once he got that weight under control, he no longer had to depend on the insulin. It (speaking of diabetes) is a very powerful thing. What we also have to learn too is that it’s not the loosing of the weight that is the issue, that is the fun part actually but keeping it off, that’s it. It’s all about maintenance. You have to continue to do those same things you did to get it off to keep it off. The weight creeps back up on you (when you don’t continue to exercise and eat healthy). CM: I we spoke earlier about cuisine and how New Orleans is so rich for our foods, what are some of your recommendations for healthier eating?
GP: But I love it, I love feta cheese. I also enjoy brown rice as well. As far as eating healthy a lot of people look at is as being expensive but this is the picture I paint for my people, ok high blood pressure medication is so expensive to where its bananas. The time you take and invest in taking this pill, you can convert that money into eating healthier and you will have a much better result as to where ‘I didn’t take my high blood pressure medication’. Put the money elsewhere and you’ll be investing in yourself (referring to your health).
“I’m a young lady who is a heart disease survivor; I am a product of three open heart surgeries so I have to make sure I’m taking very good care of myself.”
GP: I’m a salad person, I love salad. My favorite salad, I will say for the time now is greek salad. Greek salads are really good. When I am at a friend’s house or out eating it with company, I’m like man look…you gonna have to brush your teeth after that funky ass feta cheese. CM: Yes that feta cheese can be funky. 22
CM: So what about those people that say ‘I haven’t but I’m not gonna get into that thought, that’s a crossed that bridge yet’ or ‘ill deal with that when I whole other issue (she laughs and gives those big get there’? eyes indicating how controversial the topic can become). I’m gonna pull out my vision board (she GP: I’m so passionate about what I do, take my reaches on the side of her orange slim sofa and gift (fitness instruction), extremely serious in all pulls out a pink neon board that has magazine cut honesty I would get extremely discouraged. I’m like…you don’t get it, you’re seeing people die at outs pasted on to it and she begins to read). I acturapid pace (as if she’s talking to the doubtful peo- ally got this out of Essence magazine, (she reads a ple). I would even start second guessing myself, quote) ‘exercise has many health benefits but a reawhich is something we should never do. Maybe I son many black women do not do it enough says should go back into retail because the people are the surgeon general, Dr. Regina Benjamin, is a fear not getting it or go into another market but I realof sweating out the hairstyle that costs them time ized my people need it here and I’m very very grateful for those that are dedicated. My best friend and money.’ Now how I feel about that….that man is gonna sweat it out! (Interviewer and Gentile told me ‘Gen, it’s a lifestyle change; if they have not made it up mentally…it is going to be diffilaugh uncontrollably at her comedic persona and cult’. So I put myself in those shoes (she asked her-
self) where was I at a point in my life were mentally I was not ready? Everything comes with discipline, everything! Then I began not to take it so personally because what happens is a lot of times we have to see someone convert first to see if this works. I’m a risk taker. If I have to, I’m gonna jump out there head first and if it don’t work, make it work.
then she gathers herself and gives a logical explanation). But regarding that on a more serious note, I feel that we get so wrapped up and entwined in that outward appearance. Now don’t get me wrong, appearance is everything but think about it, you internal and external co-exist and when they are in sync you are able to live this abundant and beautiful life. There are trendy ways to get over those CM: Now I know we spoke earlier about the stigmas. There are braids, weaves are another thing (healthy) lifestyle change, what about this hair phenomenon? Black women have such a stigma about as well that people get because they may not necesmessing up their hair when they work out. That’s a sarily like the corn rows but they get the weave, they get the sew-ins and that helps them work out lifestyle change right there because a lot of them (black women) want to work out but they don’t as well. want to mess their hair up or go to work nappy. GP: We (referring to African American women) are naturally “nappy.” The hair is designed to coil 23
I would deem it extremely unfortunate for a woman rotation…before that body gets in heavy rotation. to let that fear of sweating her hair out because of the Kanye west been gave yall the workout plan money and time that is put into it to dictate her physi- (Referring to a track on the Hip-Hop artist’s first cal being. At the moment, I don’t get very many CD). complaints about that, which is good for me. I sweat CM: Who are some of your idols within the fitness mine out as well. Currently I rock my hair out in scene? dread locks but I still sweat it out, it’s the norm it’s something that happens. One young lady (referring to GP: In the fitness scene, um there’s a young lady, a participant Jade Alexis; Donna or team mate “I’m very innovative because I’m also a vis- Richardson, Tom wife; on a as she calls ual artist as well so I’m always thinking of Joyner’s celebrity level one of them) comes the entertainers, ways to get people together and reaching to me on Mary J. Blige has an Tuesdays and them where they are.” amazing physique Thursdays and and it definitely goes Fridays are her hair days , Get that thing in heavy with her height as well; Jada Pinket, she’s petite but she’s very toned; and Angela Basset is another person. One of my newbie’s as well is um Raquel Williams? (she recalls the correct name of the celebrity) CM: Oh you mean Wendy-Raquel Williams….AKA ‘Tasha Mack’ GP: Tasha Mack! She has very very very nice physique, also too one of my all time more mature figures Ruby Dee, Diahann Carroll…amazing! Dianna Ross, I’ve seen her recently, she looks phenomenal. I look at these women, without all these augmentations, the implants the plastic surgeries, the hips, bust all of that. NO these women are natural, God made, home grown natural. CM: It so hard for us, we want that instant gratification just cut me open and take it all out. GP: We live in a microwave society where we want everything fast, the fast money, you know the fast… (she stops herself and ponders) well… nothing is wrong with fast money but..(she and interviewer laugh yet again). We just live in that society and it’s just… it’s so unfortunate that it has us this way and people are so vague at this point. I look at Angela Basset and how she is also going to age very gracefully. Sheree (A cast member of Bravo’s the Real Housewives of Atlanta), Shree is another person… very very fit, very toned. 24
a glimpse of where he is taking me (it’s like God is telling her) I’m giving you the tools to be able to reach the people but at the same time (she believes) you will be able to reach the people in a huge way. GP: My vision, um... I have the big goal and the He’s (God) is still working on me in this area but big dream but my vision is to make that impact on I’m glad it is something he has trusted me with. I my city first (New Orleans, LA) and then take it to may want to go into a different area but it’s not my a national level and international level as well. I’m will be done, it’s thy will be done. The church is very innovative because I’m also a visual artist as the hospital. We have people that are dealing with well so I’m always thinking of ways to get people issues you know, alcoholism, drugs, being overtogether and reaching them where they are. I see weight, all of these things we have issues with. the business booming, I see the lives being transWith me transforming that (fitness instruction) and formed. Currently I’m seeking God in terms of using it as a way to minister, that is what I’m emwhere he wants me to be in ministry with this. I got barking upon now. CM: Last question, where do you see yourself in terms of your business and in terms of the people that you serve?
CM: Tell us the name of your business and your contact information. GP: The name of the business is P.E.D.S. Positive Energy Dance Society. You may contact me (Gentelle Pedescaleaux) at www.pedsnola.com that’s the website and the email is Gen@pedsnola.com. The number is on the website and I’m looking into do a lot more community engagements also. I see the business really really growing. CM: And we see it growing too! We appreciate what you’re doing and I know you have to lead class in a few so were gonna let you do your thing and we will stay in contact. GP: Yes class is in a couple of minutes but keep in touch because I would love to come back!
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By: Robyne Boyce How does one survive or remedy the aftermath and changes from a break up? The first key component and acceptance of a break up would be acknowledging it’s a reality, and
develop a sense of dislike and disgust for our previous partner. We begin to analyze our former relationship, counting all the slights and emotional numbing experiences and add on to our
went wrong. You question each and every moment in the relationship that has stood out to you as a potential predictor for the demise of the relationship. You even begin to doubt your-
Photo by www.breakupkings.com
Love & Relationships
Surviving that Breakup & MOVING ON….
not a dream. It’s taking ownership for your actions and not being dismissive of them. You begin to then understand that although this particular relationship did not work out in your best interest, it was an experience you learned from, and an experience you are ready to put behind you.
list of “Why did I stay in this relationship”. Now is this a clear -cut way to handle a break up? Absolutely not! Emotions and feelings are meant to be experienced and expressed. Even when we are feeling at our lowest points within a relationship, we have all experienced that clear cut moment in time where everything becomes clear to us, and Having personally had the break we review the entire relationship up blues, I experienced an inin movie mode, this moment in ability to move on from my pre- time is when the healing can bevious relationship, and my rea- gin, but just how do we get soning for this occurrence was there? because I didn’t have a clear outlet to digest, reflect and find It’s not an easy process and beappropriate closure. I then began lieve me it can take a lot of time noticing that once these feelings out of your days and at times aren’t addressed and are left to sleepless nights. Where mocontinue to inflict pain, we then ments are spent at attempting to figure out where exactly you 28
self and form negative thought bubbles about how and why you weren’t that good enough. The mind during these times of stress and strife and pure confusion can falter and go from being your most best and informed weapon to your most venomous enemy. So how would we amend this emotional upheaval? We release the anger and doubt and treat our stress. I have personally learned that acknowledging my emotions and validating my feelings allowed me to relieve and release those feelings. I was able to afterwards have a clearer head and understanding of what I was feeling and going through, and I was not alone as I thought.
Because we are extremely personable and emotional creatures we tend to cling and hold on to objects. Within these tendencies, we are exposed to many unhealthy factors of what happens when we hold on too long. It’s hard to part ways with anything. It’s even harder to acknowledge that we didn’t complete a lesson, mission or task in life. It’s like acknowledging a failure, and whenever we think of failing we think of never wanting to be placed in that situation again, so we play the name and blame game to build our slighted ego up,
and to hinder the realness of letting go. Does this way hold value? Well I would never take away from any individuals break up tactics or coping skills, however, what I would suggest is changing and amending a few things. Acknowledging where the relationship went wrong, and not blaming anyone for each and every individual problem, but really assessing everything experienced and then letting it go.
TIPS 4 MOVING ON: Acknowledge your breakup is a reality and not a dream. TAKE OWNERSHIP!!! Emotions and feelings are meant to be expressed so find an outlet to release them (ex: sports, exercise, free community classes). Remember: There is no set recovery time for a breakup so grieve as much as you need to so that you can move forward. Acknowledge your emotions and validate your feelings. Do not fear having a friendship with your ex-partner, something more than attraction brought you both together in the first place so embrace that. LET GO OF THE DRAMA...everything does not call for a scene from “Waiting to Exhale.” Express yourself with grace & poise. Use FEAR as a motivator to make the changes you need in your life. You WILL be able to find someone to love you BETTER than your ex-partner did (if you were a good partner). Never be afraid to seek counseling. A lil’ professional help can go a long way and assist in processing those feelings and confusion.
Live and love like you have never been hurt. Everyone isn't your ex! 29
Love & Relationships
Surviving that Breakup & MOVING ON….
“Is a b
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tions, there are many things that some people wonder whether or not they are normal happenings during sex. I host a weekly sex discussion session on Twitter giving people the opportunity to answer some questions and submit questions they may have wanted to ask but didn’t want to seem weird. I’ve asked everything from “Is a bad kisser a turn off to you?” to “Ladies, do you swallow?” The responses to the questions can be off the wall!
If you have any questions that you might want submitted, follow @QBAfterDark on twitter.com and submit your questions. The discussion sessions happen every Monday at 10pm sharp. #QBAfterDark
turno
ff to y ou?” e_Leg z said, “ @Ton iNherT ing but hel I’m not big ly on kis itties s you sa said, “H es!” y “ d o e @coco ll yeah n’t kis s me. …… _kiss @Mar es504 said, Kiss my tw Make @Lad a t “ ysKar eMarz said ewww Hel t!” maBo l “ y B ea” ig tur xs play. I f you aid, “major n off” suck, it ruin like. It’s fo s stuff re” co_lat
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Love & Relationships
Thoughts after Dark With “QB”
ies, w ould yo just t u have se o see x what with ano it’s li t @K1 @To ke?” her woma niNH shda b n erTit ties s east said, aid, “ “Dyi @Da n Naw Qu33 I’m n g to!” n)Mz t i # ot int THA Fatt said s” o pu* T… , “ *y or B EEN & ST THE ILL D RE OIN IT… . DONE ”
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“Rehab” /Travel & Leisure
Experience Rastafest Jamaica 2012… ♫ “Liven up yourself…don’t be no dred…” With “Rastafest Jamaica” (held in Montego Bay, Jamaica: The Caribbean) rapidly approaching, give in to this enchantment. This exciting trip to an alluring Caribbean nation is waiting on YOUR arrival….Now is the time to plan YOUR getaway. The dates of this year’s Rastafest Jamaica are Friday and Saturday, July 27 and July 28th, 2012. Visit WWW.RASTAFEST.COM
What is needed to make this trip? Valid U S Passport Reservations and Airline Ticket Hotel Reservations General Plan of Activities MOST importantly, a spirit of fun and adventure!
While in Jamaica, here are a few important things to see and do: The Bob Marley Museum, The Marcus Mosiah Multimedia Museum (interestingly Louisiana had the most chapters of Marcus Garvey’s UNIA..), Waterfalls, Safari Tour. There is so much to do there in Jamaica, so let your spirit of adventure be your guide. With an abundance of ganja (marijuana) and the spirit of the Rasta Movement having such a profound impact on Jamaica, this island nation will indeed provide a bit of joy to your life… 31
By: Kwaku Kushindana
“Rehab” /Travel & Leisure
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eing a writer I spend enough of my time held hostage in front of my computer, but now thanks to web 2.0 it’s all at my fingertips on my trusty iphone even when I do pry myself out of the house. Every social media outlet has its own app making it all too easy to tweet, check in, or status update from your favorite social media site while you are busy living your "anti social" life. How social can you really be when you have a phone surgically attached to your hand, and how much fun can you be having when you are spending every second of your dinner taking pictures of every bite of your meal to instantly post on instagram? In fact, social media dissolves the need for any real socialization at all.
bosses the you they wanted you to be. Now they are all jumbled together into one massive conglomerate of people who can track your every move as long as you click accept. I am also not a fan of tronically,
Photo courtesy of antiworldnews.wordpress.com
Technology
B
receiving wedding invitations elecor finding out my closest friends are expecting babies when they check in to the OBGYN and post a picture of their sonograms. Can I in turn send them a game request to c e farmland or mafia wars as tel Kos l a congratulatory gift? he Rac Despite my ranting, I have checked my By: news feed twice (and have jumped for joy when my favorite comedian replied to one of my tweets) in the Online you can be whoever you past ten minutes and do appreciate the way that social media has want to be and make your life seem so much changed the way organizations, communities, and individuals greater than it actually is. You can use pictures from communicate. It may be impersonal but in many ways is epic before you gained your freshman 15 and check in to destinations and it is definitely a co-dependency. You need social media to you have never even been all while sitting on your couch prestay in tune with what your friends are doing, celebrity gossip, tending to be cool. I'm not sure why I am supposed to care what and what is happening in the news. song you are currently listening to on Spotify or how you look If you wait to receive your invitations snail mail, pick up an US in a bathroom mirror, but it seems to be these days that despite an expensive education and prestigious career, if you don't know weekly at the grocery store, or tune into the morning news you will already be hours behind the information that the more tech how to #hashtag or pin your favorite recipe on a virtual cork savvy are already done discussing. In turn, social media needs board, people think you are an idiot. you as well as there are currently more people on facebook than there were living in this country 100 years ago. Take for inThe people that do keep it real in this altered universe need to worry that their employers (or potential employers) won't appre- stance the impact social media has made on social change. Within hours the world united in outrage against the man that is ciate them chugging a bottle of vodka in their profile picture, even if it is Mardi Gras, and even if it is a joke. They also need terrorizing young children and have demanded that he be to worry about shaming their mothers, who now happen to be on stopped. Social media has made Kony famous and that is some facebook too. It used to be you showed your closest friends the pretty powerful stuff.
: A I ED
al M i c L o A S I n SOC Eve
We e? Are r o m y n A
real you, your acquaintances part of you and your parents and 33
M
y biggest fear after a night of excessive drinking (which let's be honest happens way too often) used to be the drunk dial...waking up the next morning in a panic scrolling through my call log to see not one, not two, but every one of my ex-boyfriends that I drunk dialed. Thanks to advancements in technology and everyone's obsession with their iphones this problem has perpetuated into the latest phenomenon you all know as sexting. I personally prefer the term booty-texts. Booty-texts are far more dangerous than bootycalls because you can't dangle on the hope that the person on the receiving end a) didn't answer and you can pretend it was an accidental purse dial if they are brave enough to later question you as to why you called them at 3am after going more than a year without speaking or b) were also wasted and won't remember the degrading services you were offering them. Now there is proof of what you have done and like all criminal bootycallers, we like to destroy the evidence and pretend it never happened.
Technology
SEXTING...WTF???
either mass text the picture out to all your friends or step it up a notch and post to your mobile uploads tagging them on facebook. That may sound a little harsh for someone who was just trying to drunkenly sneak into your pants but when you are out with three friends and they all received the same text, from the same guy, it's actually quite deserving. This is what I like to call booty-texts of mass destruction which can be far more dangerous than weapons of the same name. Equally as damaging as booty-texts of mass destruction are naked-texts.
If you absolutely must send naked pictures of yourself to someone else, please text responsibly and never ever show your face. 9 times out of 10 these pictures will be saved long after the memories of your relationship has faded and at least two of the new owner’s friends have seen them. It is much easier to save face and pretend it’s not you if you keep your face out of it. Several laws have been passed and several PSA's have been shown about the dangers of texting while driving but I have seen far more lives On the phone you can at least pretend to be rodestroyed by texting and drinking. If our phones mantic and use your sexiest 1-900 operator voice are so "smart" when is there going to be a text-ato turn the other person on...now it's simply there lizer app that eliminates text functioning while unin black and white, wanna bang? Of course when der the influence? you are on the other end of one of these little word By: Rachel Kostelec gifts it would only be fair to take a screen shot and
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