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Police in Utica, Michigan, arrested a man after his girlfriend claimed he pointed a shotgun at her and threatened to kill her. The man denied the charge, explaining they had argued because his girlfriend objected to his watching “Baywatch,” but that he never pointed the weapon at her. When police found the gun and an open box of shells in the man’s bedroom, he told them the gun was out because he checks it every day _ _ _ i __________ ___ I__________I___ I I to make sure it :isn’t loaded | so his cat won’t accidentally ■ '

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Sandra Jean Gaines was serving a sentence for armed robbery when she walked away from a Detroit halfway house 23 years ago. She managed to elude authorities until this July when she applied for a job, using the name Sandra Zastrow, at a northei^^rginia juvenile facility

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Fruits cf> Research Spinach contains an enzyme that required a background investi that eats explosives, according to gation and fingerprint check. ‘This researchers at the Department of Energy’s Pacific Northwest National is fairly unusual,” FBI agent Peter A. Gulotta said after the woman Laboratory. was arrested. “Most of the time, • Triclosan, an antibacterial com pound widely used in soaps, lotions, fugitives get caught committing pother crimes. If someone goes out mouthwash, toothpaste, plastic, and lives a dean life and dissociates gtoys, high<hairfpod trays, soj l B

■ ■ a y cause generic resistance Patrick McCave, 44, with robbing a teria, according to researchers at th bank after he walked into the same Tufts University Medical School. bank a few weeks later and a teller The findings deepen growing con recognized him because he was cern that people’s ability to combat disease is being gradually weakened wearing the same black cowboy hat ' as morebacteria develop resistance ^^djM^obbejTuuTw^^ to antibiotic drugs that once were highly effective. WmSmmmSM

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Carmarthenshire, valued at $200,000, the couple complained that the place is too hard to keep clean because all the rooms are painted white. “White everything,” said Julie, 34. “It is driving me crazy.” ^ ,

Japan’s economic crisis has led to the creation of a new business that provides dients with the illusion of having a job. For $150 a month, Create Corp.’s telephone operators pose as secretaries, taking calls and explaining the person ha$|d$€ Use It or Lose It stepped away from his desk. Finnish Prime Minister Paavo Company president Eiichi Seki Lipponen, 57, announced that he said he started the compawould take 18 days of paid paterni l \ ny for self-employed ty leave, his full entidement under businessmen who want Finnish law, this summer following to save the cost of an office, but, he ’7'N iY fte birth of hpthild,feven though itisjtraditionally a busy time of the explained, “an increasing v year as members of parliament number of senior men who / have been laid off are becoming return from vacation to forge a new gadget . our customers” to save face with family and friends.

A 15-member team of American thei|||herpa <777 Acting on the recommendation 7 guidesTdimbed^Mount Everest this of Fire Chief Ross Chadwick, the spring not to conq|&r the summit Denton, TexasfCity Coundlinsfibut to haul out hundreds of pounds tuted a $25 surcharge for anyone 7f of garbageleft by othMIlimbers at* weighing more than 300 pounds four camps along the most popular who needed ambulance service. |||o u te Bob After a week of national media Hoffmanof Belmont, «jro|brnia,'> ! attention, the council voted unani who led the expedition, reported mously to rescind the charge, WB&b the group 200 di*>*'' explaining that the extra revenue carded oxygen bottles, 500 batteries, wasn’t worth the ridicule;, 1 p about 200 fuel canisters and hun dreds of pounds of rubbish and Beggars Are Choosers human waste. He said the oxygen Welsh government bottles would be sold in the United gave welfare recipients Shaun and States as souvenirs to help pay .for Julie Doran and their nine children the expedition. ’ a free house in Llandeilo,

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Koose Munusamy Veerappan, 47, # i o«itlaw ip southern India accused of more than 130 murders and 200 elephant-killings, informed authorities that he was willing to surrender, but only if he was grant ed an immediate presidential par don and given a subsidy of $143,000.

Lemon ofr the Week Judge Flan Brennan ruled in favor of a Dublin man who sued a used-car dealer for selling him a car whose rusted chassis was had together with tightly folded newspa pers. The man drove the car for weeks before discovering the decep tion. The salesperson denied using the newspapers, but the court heard they were dated from the time when the car was in his possession. (2)

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September

1998

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POETRY IN MOTION A pedestrian limerick for Mr. Peter Freyne [in response to his article, “The Truth About Cars and Bikes,” July 29]: There was a young lady from Norwalk, Who met her demise on the side walk, Where she should have been safe, By a bike she was strafed, When she veered left to sidestep a Goshawk. — Laurie Sheridan Burlington CREDIT WHERE DUE Thanks for printing the wonderful photo of the young Chekhov and the notice you gave to his play, The Bear, at the Rhombus Gallery [Calendar, August 12]. While I directed The Bear, the information you received from Rhombus inadvertently did not give credit to Vicki Pozzebon as the direc tor of Strindbergs The Stronger. Special credit is also due to the cast of both plays — Dennis McSorley, Jim Reid, Karen Shapiro and Geri Amori. — Aram Boyajian Burlington

THE ‘NERVE’ First we were told by Clinton, Cohen, Berger and Albright, the Khifa Pharmaceutical Company in Khartoum was manufacturing “nerve gas.” Now after we’ve bombed it to rubble, Berger has downgraded his ini tial claim to manufacturing “an ele ment” of nerve gas. Today on CNN, when pressed by Wolf Blitzer to name the “element,” who said he could not name it, or “produce the evidence” for “reasons of national security.” Since many, by themselves, harmless “ele ments” are involved in producing nerve gas (just as phosphate for agri cultural purposes can be used for cre ating such bombs as cost hundreds of American lives in Oklahoma City), Berger’s logic surely must compel him to suspect every American pharmaceutical suppli er as well as every American high school chemistry lab! The bombing of Khartoum is an insult to the intelligence and the conscience of the American voter. And we will pay a heavy price for it. So, since video stores are now about out of Wagging the Dog, it’s just a matter of time before you can rent Saving Private Clinton (or will it be Saving Clinton’s Privates)? — Prescott Fay North Ferrisburgh

LAWS FOR BIKES It is clear from the recent debates about bicycling that a few careless bikers have made a bad name for us many careful cyclists. There are, however, a few excep tions that must be made with regard to cyclists in traf fic because of their vulnerable position on the streets. Some streets in Vermont are only wide enough for a car and leave no room for a bicycle alongside a car. Under these circumstances, drivers have had to follow me until the road widened if I was on the street. I think it would be better, if the road is narrow, to bike on the sidewalk. Some streets are so busy that I am afraid for my life every time I am on them. One such street is Williston Road, with its many highway ramps. I make a point of being on the sidewalk for a good distance before and after every ramp. I know that this is not legal, but if an accident occurs, it is most certainly I who would be injured the worst, and neither the police nor the driver could ever return my health. Some signals are not meant for bicycles to follow, such as lanes that suddenly split into a right turn lane: where does the bicyclist go in this case? Some laws must needs apply to cars and not to bicycles: It would be completely inappropriate for a car to make an excursion into a park, yet entirely appropriate for a biker to do so. It is clear that a bicycle cannot be treated as a pedestrian, but nor can it be treated as a car. There have to be some half-way laws that apply to bicycles alone. — Janelle Sharoni Burlington NO NEWS IS BAD NEWS If rumours are true, and they seem to be, WVNYTV no longer has a 6 p.m. newscast for at least the next few months. The new owners of this station are the Dr. Kevorkians of television stations! First of all, TV stations are noted for their news casts. When WVNY began doing the FIVE-minute news at 11 p.m., they made a grave error, losing their few viewers to the other two stations. Now they have given up their 6 p.m. newscast and vow to “come back with a vengeance in about six months.” In six months, who’s going to care? Any viewers they have now will be watching WPTZ or WCAX. WVNY has always been third in a three-station market. With this latest ill-conceived idea, WVNY will be lucky to place a close 5th. The owners of WVNY-TV might as well sell the station — at a loss — and follow the previous owners. Because “MASH” isn’t going to cut it at 6 p.m. and/or 11 p.m. The viewing audience wants to have news at those times and will go where they can find it — to WVNY’s competitors. Lost viewers/clients=lost revenues=lost ratings=death. — Dean Pratt Burlington

YOU W IN SO M E, YO U LOSE SOM E High-ranking Vermonters remember their low points By Pamel a

P o l s t o n ...................................................... p a g e 7

FAT LOTTA GOOD Looking for bigfu n at the Champlain Valley Fair By E r i k

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0P-ED:N0 P LA C E L IK E HOM E? Has “nativism” in Vermont politics gone too far? By Kevi n J . K e l l e y

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OUTDOORS: FU N G U S AM ONG US No, you’re not hallucinating. It’s mushroom season By F l i p

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'AN A ESTH ETIC OF O P P O S IT E S ' Art Review: Alberto Giacometti By Marc Awodey

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U h huh. N ow for the facts. T he “one-finger salute,” or at any rate sexual gestures involving the middle finger, are thousands o f years old. In Gestures: Their Origins and Distribution, Desmond Morris and colleagues note that the digitus infamis or digitus impudicus (infamous or indecent finger) is m entioned several times in the literature o f ancient Rome. Turning to o ur vast classical library, we quickly turn up three references. Two are from the epigrammatist Martial: “Laugh loudly, Sextillus, when someone calls you a queen and put your middle finger out.” (The verse continues; “But you are no sodom ite nor fornicator either, Sextillus, n or is Vetustina’s hot m outh your fancy.” Martial, and Rom an poets in general, could be pretty out there, L!- ‘ —itter-wise. A nother verse begins: “You love to be

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Subject: Truth About the Finger “In the film Titanic, the character Rose is shown giving the finger to Jack, another character. M any people who have seen the film question whether giving the finger was done around the time o f the Titanic disaster, or was it a more recent gesture invented by some defiant seventh-grader? According to research, here’s the true story: “Before the Battle o f Agincourt in 1415, the French, antici pating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger o f all captured English soldiers. W ithout the middle fin ger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English long bow and therefore [soldiers would] be incapable o f fighting in the future. This famous weapon was made o f the native English yew tree, and the act o f drawing the longbow was known as plucking the yew.’ M uch to the bewilderment o f the French, the English won a m ajor upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, ‘See, we can still pluck yew!’ “Over the years some ‘folk etymologies’ have grown up around this symbolic gesture. Since ‘pluck yew’ is rather diffi cult to say, like pheasant m other plucker,’ which is who you had to go to for the feathers used on the arrows for the long bow, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradu ally changed to a labiodental fricative ‘f,’ and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger salute are mistak enly thought to have som ething to do w ith an intim ate encounter. It is also because o f the pheasant feathers on the arrows that the gesture is known as giving the bird.’ “And yew all thought yew knew everything!”

rror “expelled [the entertainer] Pylades.. .because when a ator starred to hiss, he called the attention o f the whole Morris ^also

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>f sexual insults > i f p e - f i n g e r erect/’ e t c ^ l o f which are different lassie middle-finger jerk. But let’s not quibble. T he le middle-finger/phallus equation goes back way Titanic, the Battle o f Agincourt, or probably even lextillus cut off Pylades w ith his chariot. And I ain’t

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CECIL ADAMS I Dope on any lo jM p t

September

2 , 1998

The Big 1998 Carpetbagger Vote This week G O P party leaders are playing down the significance o f next Tuesdays turnout in the Vermont Republican prim ary race for the G O P nom ination for United States senator. They’re praying for the usual light prim ary turnout. And they’re praying “Jack M ulholland or M cM ullen or whatever his name is,” as for mer U.S. Sen. Bob Stafford once called him, will emerge tri um phant Tuesday night. As for Fred Tuttle, the 79year-old Tunbridge dairy farmer and G O P protest candidate, they wish he would just go away quietly. O ne G O P insider pre dicted — with a straight face — a turnout o f just 19,000 in the G O P primary. Dream on. Inside Track expects a turnout more than double that estimate. And that explains why G O P gubernatorial candidate Ruth Dwyer, unlike her betterfunded opponent Bernie Rome, has been siding up to Fred in recent weeks. Ruthless Ruth knows Fred’s gonna attract more votes than a Franklin C ounty herd o f cows, and she wants all those Fred Spreaders to know she’s from down home, too. You see, this one is very, very important. Vermont’s Sept. 8 primary is as rare as a drugstore soda fountain. It offers the chance to send a real clear message to the political king-makers. And the message is: “Hey, all you millionaire carpet baggers out there who think little Vermont is a ripe spot to lavishly flaunt your ego and your stock portfolio — go home!” Don’t insult us, Mr. Massachusetts Carpetbagger, with your sixfigure media buys. D on’t taint Vermont’s politi cal tradition with your smarmy displays o f nar cissism. Anyone who’s watched M cM unster’s T V commercials knows this self-professed genius is in love with himself — not with Vermont. Give W CAX’s Anson Tebbetts the prize for showing us the famous McMullen sec ond home in Warren that he’s waved as evi dence o f his Vermont ties. T he joint looked uninhabited — there was even grass growing on the roof! Does anybody really think McMuffin’s Howard Street apartm ent in Burlap is a perm a nent residence? Anybody think he’ll be sleeping there in October if voters do the right thing next Tuesday? A vote for Fred Tuttle will count as a resounding bull’s-eye shot that will make the McMullens o f the future think twice before launching a megabucks political invasion into Vermont. A Tuttle victory will get the word out that when it comes to politics, Vermont is not for sale. So vote early. Vote often! Just kidding. And know your vote will echo far beyond Vermont’s borders. The Washington Post already has a reporter in town, and “ABC World News W eekend” is sending a crew to Thursday night’s “Switchboard” debate on VPR. And personally, this is one Vermont polit ical columnist who doesn’t fancy a future cover ing a steady stream o f millionaire aliens from Massachusetts to California moving in, renting apartments and running for office because Jack McMullen paved their way. Fornigate U pdate — You know the saying, “There’s Burlington and then there’s Verm ont.” Well, there’s W ashington D .C. and then there’s the United States o f America. Its never been clearer. Remember how out-of-touch Washington was with the rest o f us when the bom bs were falling on Vietnam? " > ^ It’s even worse today. . » j:Y: M onday the D ow dropped 512 points. Millions o f Americans, from moms and pops to grandmas and grandpas, were suddenly taking • ■ ^ ’iiijk t& 'W R *■•'*•

September

1998

shorter breaths. Don’t you wish Congress had already let you park your Social Security nest egg in the stock market? And guess who C N N ’s “Larry King Live” had for a guest M onday night? You got it — G ennifer Flowers. A nation on the edge o f its seat, and C N N brings us another bucks-for-bimbos exclusive. Did they ever do it in the governor’s man sion? Larry wanted to know. No, replied Ms. Flowers, who happens to be launching a g country-music singing career. She so obviously loves the expo sure that comes with being exposed to Bill Clinton — and vice versa. W hat about the state capitol building in Little Rock? You guys ever do it there? King inquired. Just the facts, ma’am, please. No, replied Ms. Flowers, who upon reflection added there was one time “near” the state capitol. Stop the presses! And Ms. Flowers says she wants I her former stud muffin to resign ■ L g “so the country can be strong ■ I again.” W hat a patriot. Too bad Allen Ginsberg isn’t around to catch this one. So how about a round of applause for Time Warner! The monster media empire continues to highlight the news and infor mation Americans need to make informed deci sions. Until the next big California earthquake, nothing short o f a nuclear accident will take primacy over the president’s prick — “what did it know and when did it know it?” American culture and politics has never been able to ditch the Puritan streak o f the Plymouth Rock crowd, fun seekers that they were. Today it’s soap operas by day, soap operas by night. Follow the genitalia! T hank God, there’s a Fred Tuttle. In Tuesday’s W O K O debate, Fred was the only voice o f sanity. Should Clinton resign? McMuffin said yes, toeing the party line. “No, I don’t think he should resign,” said Fred. “He’s doing a good job as president. He hasn’t done anything worse than Kennedy and a lot o f these other presidents. They should forget the whole thing. I don’t think they should have started it in the first place. W hen I was young growing up, I never heard o f sex. Now ya hear it all the time. So I don’t understand all this stuff really.” This week, our Capitol Hill sources describe a government swirling with the latest lurid detail o f presidential sex. “Resign, William Jefferson Clinton, ye faithless adulterer!” is the slogan being test-marketed. Democrats in tight races this fall fixate on the latest polls as they struggle to decide if they’re with the President or against him. C N N delivers it all up on the half-hour platter. Horse hockey. The Information Age it sure isn’t. M edia Notes — W P T Z reporter M att Cota, a Bellows Falls kid, is heading west for a new assignment in Santa Barbara. Also departing this week is reporter Susan Post. The Columbus, Ohio, native is preparing to take the LSAT, and will be moving to the Big Apple shortly. Collin Parker is now officially on board at W P T Z after jum ping from the sinking news ship at WVNY. And we’re told reporter Mike Yaffe has given notice, too, as W VNY pares down to the bone under its new ownership. Mr. Yaffe’s talent hasn’t gone unnoticed. Meanwhile, W VNY has a brought in a new anchor for its m orning “news capsules.” News Director John Cavazos says Lisa M inuti hails from W ilm ington, Delaware. Yes, a blonde. How did you know? ®

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Jell, blow me down! For the first time I’ve been scooped [ by Peter Freyne. I had my column all planned this week, a thunderous attack on the media’s obsession with Taffaire Lewinsky in relation to the real troubles afflicting the world, and what does Frey-Boy do? Beats me to the punch, that’s what. If Freyne can call Howard Dean “H o-H o” I can call Freyne “PePe,” but I’m not going to, because I really admired his column last week and agreed with every word — though I can’t get sentimental about the Irish, God forgive me; they’ve proved conclusively in the last 30 years that they’re not only prone to m urder and mayhem like everyone else, but completely intractable to boot. Suffering Saint Monica! What sort o f brain surgery do we suppose it would take for the Irish to get off their Catholic/Protestant ponies? It’s worth pointing out that one o f President Clinton’s most prominent and hysterical critics is The New York Times only female columnist, Maureen Dowd, an Irish girl from the old neighborhood, daughter o f a cop and so forth, who used to be an interesting writer until the thought o f Ms. Lewinsky’s knickers sent her tearing for the smelling salts. If Ms. Dowd had her way, every woman in Washington under the age o f 35 would be wearing a chastity belt, if not, indeed, a suit o f armor. So pervasive is the reli gious tomfoolery in and around the Emerald Isle that a friend o f mine who joined Alcoholics Anonymous in Belfast some years ago was given a copy o f the “Big Book” inscribed by his sponsor, “Just trust your Higher Power, Tony, and His sainted mother!” So, all right, I’m in a mood. It isn’t Freyne, honest. Its the students — the annual influx o f 15,000 heedless clods into the life o f the city. I read in the local daily that the University Vermont is daintily handing out 500 copies o f a booklet designed to help these hoodlums get along with their neighbors. Five hundred! It’ll be required read ing at the fmts, don’t you worry. j Meantime, City Hall has come up with a menacing slogan to let the boomers’ babies know there will be no messing around with the “quality o f life” in

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page

[ swear to God I’ve narrowly escs tlpe other night, or raid “a if it’s ,

SEVEN DAYS

September

2 , 1998

ILLUSTRATION

H igh-ranking Verm onters rem em ber th e ir lo w points B y P a m e la P o ls to n n an election season, the parameters o f failure take on a special poignancy: Some people are going to be losers. Publicly. Anyone who actually runs for office must have unshakeable self-confi dence, you would assume. After all, the job requires lots of public speaking — the number-one phobia o f hum ankind — and the kind o f nothing-is-sacred personal scrutiny that would send most o f us into permanent, Greta Garbostyle seclusion. Running for office requires other things, too, but that’s another story. This story is about fail ure. Formative failure — the kind o f misstep, big or small, that changes you for ever. T hat makes you feel like an idiot, a jerk, a worm or other lowly life form, but that gives you a new understanding o f yourself and/or others. And if you’re smart, sooner or later you crawl out from under the rock o f abject humiliation and transform the worm into a butterfly. O r some thing like that. Even winning politi cians have failed some thing, somewhere, along the way to adulthood. So have we all, be it flunking algebra, not making the track team, losing a rela tionship, or avoiding a perspnal goal, such as exercis ing or learning to play the piano. Writer Neil Steinberg published a book in 1994 entided Complete & Utter Failure: A Celebration o f Also-Rans, Runners-Up, Never-Weres and Total Flops. Never heard o f it? T hat’s because the book was a flop, too — that is, it didn’t make the best-seller list. It may have been because, as Steinberg himself suggest ed, Americans are far less willing to muse about fail ure than the citizenry of older and more embattled nations. “Americans are still moving forward, winning, doing, scheduling m eet ings,” he writes. “The gales o f decline may be rattling the windows, but we’re still snugly ensconced in our Great Period, at least in our own minds, with a frontier to be explored, a world to be set right, money to be made, and the losers and

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complainers to be shunted into oblivion.” Steinberg may accurate ly peg an American can-do stereotype, but on the other hand he fails to take into consideration another American quirk: our obses sion with what’s wrong with us. N ot thin enough, not rich enough, not famous enough, not wear ing the right shoes. But Steinberg set a liter al stage for his own lifelong obsession with failure in a compelling introduction to the subject. He describes his first, and last, venture into show biz, in the family garage, at age four — a magic trick he had learned on “Captain Kangaroo” and attempted to perform for a small cluster o f neigh borhood kids. As it turned out, he hadn’t really learned the trick at all, and his fumbling, red-faced efforts to pull it off resulted only in the audience drifting away in disinterest. Steinberg recalls the feeling o f supreme idiocy — a new feeling, but one with which he would become, he says, very familiar. Considering what a defining m om ent failure can be, and the profound state of mind that accom panies it, psychological studies on the subject are surprisingly scant. O f course, we’re talking about mental constructs that are devilishly difficult to mea sure. “Two things come to m ind,” informs Bruce Compas, professor and Director o f Clinical Psychology at the University o f Vermont. “There’s lots o f research on the attribution o f failure, that is, holding oneself accountable” for a negative situation such as an illness. In other words, self-blame. “The second thing is avoidance,” Compas says. “Trying to push away nega tive feelings in response to loss and failure — that’s the bad side of the story. O n the positive side, it’s the effort to find some kind o f positive meaning from a failure. There is evidence that people who experience setbacks, if they can reframe it in some kind o f positive way, they learn something from the experi ence or the world, find some sense o f meaning or

SEVEN DAYS

significance. This is clearly associated with better psy chological outcomes.” It’s impossible to know how things might have turned out if we had taken “the road not taken,” as Robert Frost put it. But maybe that thing you “failed,” or avoided, turned you in the direction o f something far more fulfill ing. T he Buddhists recom m end seeing every so-called “failure” as an opportunity for growth and change. Sage advice. But mean while, if you can’t see the silver lining glistening just ahead o f your latest blun der, pay heed to the words o f the following Vermonters who have failed beautifully. B e n C o h e n , Co-founder, Ben & Jerry’s Homemade Inc Jericho I have a whole flood o f things — m uch o f my life has been a formative fail ure. I failed to be a normalweight, athletic boy as a child. There were a lot o f times I would split my pants at school and ended up in the nurse’s office try ing to sew them up. W hen you had to chose up sides for teams, I wasn’t chosen, I was considered kind o f handicapped. I think it made me more concerned about people who were dis criminated against or not given a fair shake, people who were subjected to prej udice. It’s not so good in terms o f body image — the same thing that is our greatest weakness is some times our greatest strength. But if life hands you lemons, make lemonade. P e te r C lavelle, Mayor o f Burlington I’ve had a num ber o f incidents like that: losing a race in high school for class president, being cut from the football team at Rice High School, not making the Little League team in Winooski. Probably the most poignant failure was losing the mayor’s race in 1993. You throw yourself into a campaign, do the best you can in both a job and a campaign, and it’s a very emotional m om ent to be rejected by the citizenry. I’ve learned through a series o f failures, including a failed marriage, that you pick yourself up and you move on. You take what

you can from the experi ence. You take time to heal, but you move on. T a m m y n e i t h e r , vocal ist with T he Disciples Eden Sometimes I think there were points in my kid’s development that I was a complete failure as a par ent, even though he’s a spectacular hum an being. I am a failure at housework, I’m so disorganized. Another is as a musician: I don’t play an instrument, and that to me is one o f the most painful things in my life. Every time I’ve tried, I can’t do it, I can’t focus. I set up all these blocks to learning. I actual ly wanted to learn piano when I was young, but lessons were given to my sister, not to me. I think somehow that has made me think I didn’t deserve it, or it wasn’t destined for me. Now, since the death o f my friend Andy Shapiro, I’m determ ined to learn. He offered to teach me so many times, and now he’s gone, and I couldn’t take the time to learn. I promised him that before the end o f my life I will learn to play the piano. If I only would take the chance to cross that barrier — it’s totally fear-based, and time-management-based. I don’t feel equal to the musicians, and I think studying music would open up a whole new world to me. O h, and I’m looking for a free piano! R lllll D w y e r, Republican Representative from Orange County, running for governor Thetford I lost the school board election once, so a few m onths later I ran for the legislature instead, and won. T h at was a good example in politics where you can take what looks like a failure and set your sights even higher. If you look at Lincoln or W inston Churchill, they lost a lot of elections. I think Churchill lost more elections than anyone, but he became one o f the most im portant lead ers at a crucial time in his tory. It’s all a m atter o f how you look at it.

C o n tin u e d on page 12

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HOME ALONE

I’m happy to report that Burlington Coffeehouse impresario Jeff Miller is home from the hospital following major surgery just over a week ago. Though his doctors predicted he’d need a full two weeks in “Mary Fanny,” he was recuper ated enough to leave on day eight. Jeff needs to take it easy for another eight to 10 weeks, but he’s ambulatory, and making plans for the first Coffeehouse show of the season — singer-song writer Cosie Sheridan on September 18. Keep those healing thoughts coming.

when someone likes a band, they just clap. Maybe hoot. An extremely motivat ed one might be moved to send a letter. So imag ine the surprise of Hardwick’s Velvet Ovum Band when they opened a letter from an anonymous fan and found a cashier’s check for a $1000. “It was a typed letter saying we were ‘terrific’ and ‘imagina tive,’” says vocalist Peg Tassey Ayer, “and that we should be ‘more widely known.’ The only thanks he or she wanted was our continued success.” Naturally the Ovums (Ova?) are overwhelmed and grateful, and send a huge thank-you to their secrer benefactor out there. The band wasted no time booking a date in the studio. As for you more Rhythm & News continued on page 11

G O V 9T M U L E

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WEDNESDAY

DEAD HIPPY (rock), Breakwater Cafe, 4:30 p.m. NC. JODY ALBRIGHT & LAR DUGGAN (jazz vocals & piano), Leunig’s, 8:30 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE (acoustic), Dubie’s Cafe, 8 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, 133 Pearl, 9:30 p.m. NC. DISCO FUNK (DJ), Ruben James, 11 p.m. NC. CHAD (pop rock), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. BAG OF PANTIES, CHIN HO! (alt-rock), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. $3. BILLY MOSCHELLA JAZZ QUARTET, Manhattan Pizza, 10 p.m. NC. VORCZA ORGAN TRIO (members of viperHouse), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. SQUAGMYRE, DEAD HIPPY, WALKIN' BIRD (rock), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m. NC/$5. OPEN MIKE W/PICKLES, Manhattan Pizza, 10 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, J.P.’s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE W/DAVE NERBAK, Vermont Pub & Brewery, 10 p.m. NC. BEATS DOWN W/SOUl PROPRI ETORS RHYTHM (funk/soul), Higher Ground, Winooski, 9 p.m. $3/5. KARAOKE NIGHT, Extreme Sports Bar & Dance Club, Malletts Bay, 9 p.m. NC. COMEDY NIGHT, Edgewater Pub, Colchester, 9 p.m. NC. MARK BRISSON & FRIENDS (acoustic), Cheers lounge; WESTERN WEDNESDAY (line dancing), Cheers disco, both 9 p.m. NC. DAVEGRAVELIN (folk), Good Times Cafe, Hinesburg, 7:30 p.m. Donation. CHARLIE 0'S HOUSE BAND (improv), Charlie Os, Montpelier, 10 p.m. NC. Q

TH U RSD AY

ELLEN POWELL DUO & LITTLE JOYCE (jazz standards) Leunig’s, 8:30 p.m. NC. GRIPPO HARVEY QUARTET (jazz), Halvorson’s, 8 p.m. $2. ERIK KOSKINEN (acoustic), Sweetwaters, 8 p.m. NC. JAMIE NOTARTHOMAS (singer-songwriter), Dubie’s Cafe, 9

SEVEN DAYS

p.m. $2. BARBACOA (guitar noir), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. THE X-RAYS (rock/r&b), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. LOCOMOTION (DJ Little Martin/ ’70s disco), 135 Pearl, 10 p.m. NC. BATTERSHELL, THE HALO GENS, GLADLY (alt-rock), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m. $3/5. SWING DANCE CONTEST (cash prizes), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. (lessons 8 p.m.), $5. OPEN MIKE W/D. DAVIS, Cactus Cafe, 9 p.m. NC. LEFT EYE JUMP (Chicago jump blues), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 10 p.m. NC. DR. JAZZ & THE DIXIE HOTSHOTS (Dixieland jazz), Henry’s Pub, Holiday Inn, 7 p.m. NC. MIKE TROMB LEY EXPERIENCE (rock), Trackside Tavern, Winooski, 9 p.m. NC. BELIZBEHA, ZOLA TURN (acid jazz/soul, altrock), Higher Ground, Winooski, 9 p.m. $7/9. KARAOKE, Edgewater Pub, Colchester, 9 p.m. NC. MICHAEL P & GUESTS (acoustic), BU’s Emporium, Colchester, 7 p.m. NC. MARK BRISSON & FRIENDS (acoustic), Cheers lounge, 9 p.m. NC. GUY COLASACCO (singer-songwriter), Jake’s, 6:30 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE, Swany’s, Vergennes, 9 p.m. NC. TNT (DJ & karaoke), Thirsty Turtle, Waterbury, 9 p.m. NC. MARK LEGRAND (Americana), Thrush Tavern, Montpelier, 7:30 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE, Gallaghers, Waitsfield, 8:30 p.m. NC. A

F R ID A Y

BUCK t THE H IC K CAB (rockabilly), Breakwater Cafe, 4 p.m. NC. CLYDE STATS (jazz), Windjammer, 5 p.m. NC. JOE CAPPS QUARTET (jazz), Sai-Gon Cafe, 7 p.m. NC. GREG DOUGLASS (singer-songwriter), Borders, 8 p.m. NC. 6 GOING ON 7, GET HIGH, MAKESHIFT (hardcore, indie), 242 Main, 8 p.m. $5. PERRY NUNN (acoustic), Ruben James, 5 p.m. NC, followed by

September

1998

advice

DJ NIGHT, 9 p.m. NC. BOOTLESS & UNHORSED (Irish), Last Chance Saloon, 7:30 p.m. DIXIE SPIRIT

(Dixieland jazz), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. EVO LUTION (DJ Craig Mitchell), 135 Pearl, 10 p.m. $4/5. BASHMENTBOYS (reggae/hip-hop DJs), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m. $5. MOON BOOT LOVER (funk/soul), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. $4. THE X-RAYS (rock/r&b), Nectars, 9:30 p.m. NC. THE CRAWDADS (rock), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 10 p.m. NC.

COMEDY ZONE (stand-up), Radisson Hotel, 8 & 10 p.m. $7. SMOKIN' GUN (rock), Franny Os, 9:30 p.m. NC. DJ BUTCH, Cheers, 9 p.m. NC. FOX (rock), Henry’s Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. NC. HIGHLAND WEAVERS (Irish), Tuckaways, Sheraton Hotel, 9 p.m. NC. ADAM ROSENBERG (acoustic), Ground Round, 8 p.m. NC. FULL CIRCLE (rock), Trackside Tavern, Winooski, 9 p.m. $2. SMOKIN' GRASS, GORDON STONE BAND W/JAMIE NOTARTHOMAS (jamgrass, jazz-bluegrass), Higher Ground, Winooski, 9 p.m. $7. DJ NIGHT (Dr. E), Clover House Pub, Colchester, 9 p.m. NC. SMOKEHOUSE (rock), Edgewater Pub, Colchester, 9 p.m. NC. JOHN CASSEL (jazz piano), The Tavern, Inn at Essex, 8 p.m. NC. DANCIN' DEAN (country dance Sc instruction), Cobbweb, Milton, 7:30 p.m. $5. LIVE JAZZ, Diamond Jim’s Grille, St. Albans, 7:30 p.m. WOLF LARSEN (rock), Thirsty Turtle, Waterbury, 9:30 p.m. NC. DJ NIGHT, Gallagher’s, Waitsfield, 7:30 p.m. $3/5. DELTA ROCK ERS W/DEREK SEMLER (blues), Mad Mountain Tavern, Waitsfield, 9 p.m. $4. LIVE MUSIC, Rusty Nail, Stowe, 8:30 p.m. $5. MIKE DEVER & LAUSANNE ALLEN (folk), Three Mountain Lodge, Jeffersonville, 6 p.m. NC. DICK EASTER W/MIDNIGHT LIGHTNING (rock), Charlie O ’s, Montpelier, 9 p.m. NC. FRANK JANNEY & FRIENDS (acoustic), Cafe Ol£, North Common Chelsea, 8 p.m. NC. ENCOUNTER (rock; Tantrum trio), Rude Dog Tavern, Vergennes, 9 p.m. NC. JOHNNY DEVIL BAND (rock), Swany’s, Vergennes, 9 p.m. NC. RHYTHM & ROOTS FESTIVAL: STEVE RILEY & THE

MAMOU PLAYBOYS, DOC WATSON, ASLEEP AT THE WHEEL & MORE (cajun, zydeco, roots rock Sc swing), Stepping Stone Ranch, Escoheag, RI, all weekend, $30-95.

SATURDAY

PERRY NUNN (rock), Breakwater Cafe, 4:30 p.m. NC. COBALT BLUE (blues), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. fACTORIA (DJ Little Martin), 135 Pearl, 10 p.m. $4/5. DJ NIGHT, Ruben James, 9 p.m. NC. JAMES HAR VEY BAND (jazz), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. MAX MIX (DJs Cousin Dave Sc Psychotrope), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m. NC/$5. ALVIN YOUNGBLOOD HART (acoustic blues), Club Metronome, 7 p.m. $6/8, followed by RETRONOME (DJ), 10 p.m. NC. SALAD DAYS (pop rock), Manhattan Pizza, 10 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, J.P.’s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. HIP-HOP DJ NIGHT, Ruben

3rd Annual

James, 11 p.m. NC. THE CHAMELEONS (Latin jazz/r&b) Vermont Pub & Brewery, 10 p.m. NC. COMEDY ZONE (stand-up), Radisson Hotel, 8 & 10 p.m. $7. KARAOKE, Franny O ’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. DJ BUTCH, Cheers, 9 p.m. NC. GUY COLASACCO (singersongwriter), Jake’s, 6:30 p.m. NC. FOX (rock), Henry’s Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. NC. BOB GESSER (jazz guitar), Tuckaways, Sheraton Hotel, 9 p.m. NC. ADAM ROSENBERG (acoustic), Ground Round, 8 p.m. NC. BARBACOA, BLOQUE (surf/spy, Colombian), Higher Ground, Winooski, 9 p.m. $5. FULL CIRCLE (rock), Trackside Tavern, Winooski, 9 p.m. $2. SMOKEHOUSE (rock), Edgewater Pub, Colchester, 9 p.m. NC. DJ DANCE PARTY, Extreme Sports Bar Sc Dance Club, Malletts Bay, 9 p.m. NC. NEW COUN TRY EDITION (country-rock; round & square danc ing), Cobbweb, Milton, 8:30 p.m. $7/12. MIGHTY FAB KINGTONES (rock), Sandbar Motor Inn, S. Hero, 9:30 p.m. NC. ENCOUNTER (rock; Tantrum trio), Rude Dog Tavern, Vergennes, 9 p.m. NC. JOHNNY DEVIL BAND (rock), Swany’s, Vergennes, 9 p.m. NC. STRANGEFOLK: GARDEN OF EDEN FESTIVAL (groove rock), Addison Cty. Field Days, New Haven, 9 p.m. $20 (weekend). LES SAMPOU, OPEN MIKE (singer-song writer), Ripton Community Coffee House, 7:30 p.m. $4. JUSAGROOVE (disco), Thirsty Turtle, Waterbury, 9 p.m. $3. BLUES BUSTER, Charlie O ’s, Montpelier, 9 p.m. NC. HIGH FLYING GARGOYLES (groove rock), Mad Mountain Tavern, Waitsfield, 9 p.m. $3. LIVE MUSIC, Gallagher’s, Waitsfield, 9 p.m. $3/5. BLUE SKY (acoustic), Boony’s, Franklin, 7 p.m. NC. RHYTHM & ROOTS FESTIVAL: STEVE RILEY & THE

MAMOU PLAYBOYS, DOC WATSON, ASLEEP AT THE WHEEL & MORE (cajun, zydeco, roots rock Sc swing), Stepping Stone Ranch, Escoheag, RI, all weekend, $30-95.

Q - SUNDAY ELLEN POWELL DUO (jazz), Windjammer, 10 a.m. NC. PAUL WEBB (piano), Borders, 2 p.m. NC. AARON HERSEY & THE DETONATORS (blues/r&b), Breakwater Cafe, 4:30 p.m. NC. COBALT BLUES (blues), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. THE BOTTLE ROCKETS, MARAH (Americana rock), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. $4. VELVET OVUM BAND W/ETHAN AZARIAN, JAMES KOCHALKA SUPERSTAR (artrock, indie), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m. $3/5. KARAOKE, Edgewater Pub, Colchester, 9 p.m. NC. WILLY B. STEELE (acoustic blues), La Brioche, Montpelier, 11 a.m. NC. LIVE MUSIC (acoustic), Main Street Bar Sc Grill, Montpelier, 11 a.m. NC. STRANGEFOLK: GARDEN OF EDEN FESTIVAL (groove rock), Addison Cty. Field Days, New Haven, 4 p.m. $20 (weekend). RHYTHM & ROOTS FESTIVAL: STEVE RILEY & THE MAMOU PLAYBOYS, DOC WATSON, ASLEEP AT THE WHEEL & MORE (cajun, zydeco,

Garden of Eden Festival with

’

C p Q fp m h p r fourlongsetsofmusicovertwodayswithfreecamping, O v r I C l I ll/C I goodfood, andqualityvending. Gatesopenatnoonon 5& 6 September5. "StrangeFolk"playsonesetSaturdaynight, Strangefolktakesthestagefor3setsonSunday.Special Addison County addedentertainmentfeaturedaswell. Field Days Tickets$20,availablethroughFlynnRegional BoxOffice, Route 17 Pure (Burlington), PeacockRecords(Plattsburgh), Sound" Noui Hauon C)T Source(Middlebury),andMusicShop(St.Johnsbury)or

mew n d m i.V I ChargebyPhone(802) 86-FLYNN

For moreinfocall Strangefolkoffice: (802) 658-6453 or visitwww.strangefolk.com Please: Noalcohol, pets, glass containers, fireworksorweapons PresentedbyLittle SadieProductionsandAll Points Booking

i ■a m *

■ ■ i

■

DISC G 0 ROUND' With CD ^p rices lik e @1111

can affo rd to stop sh o p liftin g. O ur CD’s m a y b e o n l y $ 5 - $ 7 , b u t w e s t i l l g o t o u r e y e o n y o u .

198 College St., Burlington 660-8150

roots rock Sc swing), Stepping Stone Ranch, Escoheag, RI, all weekend, $30-95.

Club listings continued on page 11 A ll clubs in Burlington unless otherwise noted. NC

No cover. Also look for “Sound Advice” at http:!7www.sevendaysvt.com . B i q H e A v 9 w d r l d . c o ItCAl MS 1CtllllEI MIC Mf III II • VCCIlf Cl MttWMS • SETC* IMS Clll IISIIICS

w w w

....M A T E R IA L W IT N E S S E S The Velvet Ovum Band proves that art-rock doesn’t shrink in water. And they sure as heck don’t shrink onstage. Hardwick’s musical heroes take to Club Toast this Sunday with special guest Ethan Azarian. James Kochalka Superstar opens.

September

1998

SEVEN DAYS:

page: 9

B L O Q U E , B L O Q U E (Luaka Bop, CD) — It seems that some sort of invisible barrier has been lifted, and music en espagnol is making its was through to gringos far north of South America. Burlington’s favorable response to the Latino Fest indicates were ready for rhythms that encourage that subtle fire in the pelvis, and --------provocative dance moves that require lessons. In fact, the Colombian superg*°uP' Bloqtt* makes its U.S. debut with & * jR . arr^porpmous release on David Byrne’s

Bloque is trying, thi medial Hvoluriorf, v> music b ^ u s e they; sound of the Beach holes. V ith the brit cuberance, Bloque offers rom down there in our their indigenous tradi-

of Burlington’s surf-spy unit

VINYL DESTINATION Q u a lit y u se d ^ a

re c o rd s and tap e s

Vinyl Destination — Formerly Yesterday & Today Records

UPSTAIRS 200 MAIN ST., BURLINGTON Su m m er H ours: W ed - S a t

11 - 5:30

• Sun

t e l

12-5

8 6 2-5 3 6 3

'H E R E

IN H IB IT E D

truly much-anticipated CD, and it’s a beaut (including the way-ftesh packaging— kudos to Capacitor). Touring almost non-stop has transformed this big band from college students with a vision to a, well, professional band with a vision. Acid jazz, new soul, avantgarde funk — call it what you Will, the rappin rhythms, funky key boards (Jeremy Skaller) and boy-girl interchange prove a winning formula. Bristol boy FatncBumbalarae. aka Kyle Thompson, raps phat, as always, m a deep aM singsong cadence dm - - -

** m '% ttb l6 * r h W ^ n i f m e^tsm oethprdebutgoes ladies, Shauna Antomac am Sibi, who have grown into i strong, sweet a|fd sensual v< U d i i U U U U U U 1J

TH* 4 TH ANNUAL CUUl i NGTON UATiNO FESTIVAL WAS A TG f Mf Nc OUS SUCCESS! TH e LATiNO F e S T i VAl COHWi T T e e AN® THe UUHl i NGTON PACKS AN® Kf CCf ATiON d epa rtm en t t h a n k OUC F e l l OW V f CMONTf CS r o c Wf l COHiNG THe ClCH LATiNO CUl TUHe »N TH e i R He ARTS. UASTA 1 9 9 9 !

B u r lin g t o n h iu m a n lR ig h t s C o u n c i l • U n iv e r s it y o f V e r m o n t • W N C S , T h e P o in t * S e v e n D a y s T r in it y C o lle g e • V e r m o n t P u b lic R a d io • R a d is s o n H o t e l B u r lin g t o n f • W P T Z W V a n t a g e ip - r f . I P re ss ” k s * B e ll A t la n Akes P r o d u c t io n s • S p ir i

e e t w a i l f i • Y e if m S h t TeaTt a n d A w n in g • H e r m a n o s V A lle n II • M a g ic H a t B r e w in g C o . • V e r m o n t G a s C o m p a n y

(Starin’ at Me)” and Sibi’s “Invisible” arc indeed stand-outs. Overall Void is an understated venture — not low-energy by any means, but a collection of tunes that suggest the band has discovered and relaxed into what it does best, this emphasized with a cool and silky produc tion by Your Big Brother in New York studios. Guitarist Bob Dunham succeeds by staying out of the way, though his agile pluck ing puts needed polish on the restrained “Not 4 Nothin’” — one of those yin-yang interchanges between Bumballaue and the women. Belizbeha songs sometimes have a dreamy, wanderingTfpm-beginning-to-end fed. such as Sibi’s “Come Back Home,” without a whole

or the aptly named, up-tempo “Rock the Mic.” Nice extra touches include the cello by Sean Vera on “Penny For Your Thoughts” and an unexpected spot of Stevie Wonder-esque harmonica by Gary er on “Whenever She’s Around.” The closer is a danceable ^leaser the band released awhile back as a single (on Mixmag/United DJ’s of America), “Inhibitions.” This one sparkles

■

_- J . .

V e v e A s s o c ia t e s *• B u r lin g t o n C i t y A r t s - W in d ja m m e r H o s p it a lit y G r o u p • Q u e e n C i t y P r i n t e r s • V e r m o n t In t e r n a t io n a l F ilm F o u n d a t io n • L e o n a r d o ’s P iz z a - V e r m o n t F o lk lif e C e n t e r * V e r y S p e c ia l A r t s - V e r m o n t T r a n s it L in e s • G a t e w a y C a f e • W o m e n ’s R a p e C r i s i s C e n t e r • W o m e n H e lp in g B a t t e r e d W o m e n - N o r t h e r n C a r t o g r a p h y • T o w a r d F r e e d o m • B u r lin g t o n P u e r t o C a b e z a s S is t e r C i t y P n o g ra rtv ^ / m

L A T i NO J ^ lT lV A t r C O H N lT tf N ^ K - "

B e t t y B a r n e s • C a r l B lu m b e r g • L o r e n a C a l d o r o n • J o s e p h in e C a y c e d o • A l e x C h ir le s t e i n • B e a t r ic e C o b e o - H e c t o r C o b e o • M a y b e lin e C o b e o d e M o r a le s • S y lv ia D e l C a s t illo D e V i n e • G a il D e u s o • k ir n G r o s s • L is a K ile y • R a c h e l K r a e m e r • M e g L a n d r y - T o n y L o p e z • H u g o M a r t in e z - C a z o n • ( D s c a r M o r a le s - M a r iit a P o r t e l a - A n it a R io s M o o r e - A l e x S a n t a n a • G a il S a n t a n a • R o b e r t o S a n t a n a • A r m o n d o S o t o - J u lia S o t o L e b e n t r it t • B ill S p ir it o - G le n n T a u lt o n • A le j a n d r o T b r r e n s • G is e la V e v e - J o h n W a g n e r - J e a n W a l t z

s p e c ia l t h a n k s

S C tS tH C I f i n C f

disco ball in motion like nobody’s business. Lose your inhibitions with Belizbeha this Thursday at Higher Ground. Zola Turn opens. ®

.NO BOUNDARIES

Imagine an

acoustic country blues guy working in his influences from waltz to ska to avant-garde. Multi-instrumentalist Alvin Youngblood Hart won a heap of awards in 1997 for his debut album — includ ing the W.C. Handy Award for Best New

V e r m o n t ’s L a t in o C o m m u n it y • P e t e ’s R V • P a r la t o P r o d u c t io n s • C h a n n e l 17 C C T V • C h u r c h S t r e e t M a r k e t p la c e • F l e t c h e r F r e e L ib r a r y • P h o t o g a r d e n • S h a d o w P r o d u c t io n s • B u r lin g t o n D e p a r t m e n t o f P u b lic W o r k s • B u r lin g t o n D e p a r t m e n t o f P u b lic W o r k s * W in o o s k i S u b w a y • B U R L IN G T O N P A R K S A N D R E C R E A T I O N S T A F F A N D O U R M A N Y V O LU N TEERS!

page

icate phrasing. This here’s

IdJPwWO l U U U U U i U V U V )

SEVER: DAYS

Artist — and comes back with another winner, Territory, this year. Hart covers a lot of it this Friday at Metronome

-'September. 2 , ^ 1998

etvV ai Jo in U s

sound advice

Continued from page 9 A

Backfo School

MONDAY

JOMOFO(funk/r&b), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. SWINGDANCENIGHT (lessons), Club Metronome, first-timers, 7 p.m., beginners 8 p.m., intermediate 8:30 p.m., dance party 10 p.m. $8. COSMICLOUNGE (house, break-beat DJs), Higher Ground, Winooski, 9 p.m. NC/$2. A

TU ESD AY

OPENSTAGE(acoustic), Burlington Coffeehouse at Rhombus, 8 p.m. $3-6. PAULASBELL&CLYDESTATS (jazz), Leunig’s, 8:30 p.m. NC. DJ NIGHT, Ruben James, 9 p.m. NC. MARTIN&MITCHELL (house DJs), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. NC. KIP MEANER(blues), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. SOULPROPRIETOR (funk), Last Chance Saloon, 9 p.m. NC. MIGHTY FABKINGTONES (rock), Nectars, 9:30 p.m. NC. BASHMENT (reggae DJ), Ruben James, 11 p.m. NC. FLASHBACK(’70s-’90s DJ), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m. NC/$5. RUSS&CO. (rock), J.P.’s Pub, 9:30 p.m. NC. JALAPENOBROS, (rock), Cheers, 8 p.m. NC. TOOTS&THEMAYTALS (Toast presents reggae legend), Higher Ground, Winooski, 9 p.m. $16. OPENMIKE (acoustic), Rozzi’s Lakeshore Tavern, Colchester, 7 p.m. NC. WOODCHUCK'S REVENGE (old-time folk), Three Mountain Lodge, Jeffersonville, 6 p.m. NC.

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SIN G ABO UT After a sojourn in Boston, Burlington jazz chanteuse Jody Albright is back to

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h a n d e x e rc is e

sp eed , to u c h

tim e !

entertain the local

in t r o d u c t o r y p r ic e o n ly $2 0-2 9 g u it a r , bass/4, bass/5, u n -m ik e d , o r am p re a d y

troops. Find her at

NOW AT ADVANCE MUSIC • 75 M APLE S T • BURLINGTON TW A N G ER @ TO G ETH ER .N ET

Leunig’s every Wednesday this month, with pianist

PHOTO: BARB LE S L IE

rhythm & news C o n tin u ed fro m page 8 indigent rock fans — just pay the cover and see the bands, okay?

I-RESPECT

You might have assumed a “turf war” between Higher Ground and Club Toast, considering the handful of bands that seem to have defected from the club that nurtured them in Burlington to the newer, bigger night spot in Winooski. But it looks like we have a friendly arrangement after all: Toast is presenting Toots & the Maytals at none other than, yep, Higher Ground. An innovative solu tion. Look for the rankin’ reg gae legends next Tuesday.

SINGLE TRACKS Looking for a way to toot your own horn? Check out the annual Used Instrument Sale at St. Paul’s Cathedral, sponsored by, and benefiting, the Vermont Youth Orchestra. With 25 years of history, this is the way to blow. . . Greatful Bread in Essex is gearing up for a new season of Saturday jams and is looking for jazz and blues groups —

S e p t e m b e r ' Z ,* 1998

Lar Duggan.

not just acoustic. If you wanna make some noise in a swell smelling bakery, give Phil Hamerslough a call: 878-4466 . . . August Brown drummer Dave Abbott is leaving music for a career in art. (Sounds like a lateral move to me, but good luck anyway.) The hard-rockin’, much-travelin’ band will be auditioning for a new bassman this October . . . It’s official: Burlington love to swing. That’s why Club Metronome is starting weekly swing dance lessons, every Monday begin ning next week, with the “East Coast” style being taught by our only legislator/dance teacher, Terry Bouricius. Meanwhile, if you’ve already got that thing, go for the gold: More than $400 in prizes await contestants at this Thursday’s “Swingers Ball.” Call 865-4563 to register . . . Zola Turn got a lot of kudos from the women in the Suffragette Tour — espe cially from Amy Ray, one-half of The Indigo Girls, who spent some 20 minutes chatting up Zola bassist Julia Austin. Good encouragement for our girl group before they hit the studio with hard-rocking producer Glen Robinson... (7)

® B S ! N e w B lu e s & J a n C la s s ic s

Walter "Woliman" Washington 8 the Roadmasters f u n k i s in t h e h o u s e

SalePrice$13.99CD

m s m s iB F £ m M /w m siztis n/'A f*tr m tmza

On their first U.S. release in over six years, New O rleans legends Walter “Wolfman” W ashington and the R o ad m asters play the funkiest rhythm and blues you’re likely to hear. W alter’s soulful singing and inimitable guitar playing push the groove to exhilarating heights. P roduced by S cott Billington.

See Walter "Wolfman" Washington Live at Club Metronome, Wednesday, September 9th at 8:00 pm. For ticket information call 86-FLYIXIN In-store appearance and CDsigning Wednesday September 9th, 5:45 pm Enter towin a free pair ol tickets!

B O R D E R S BOOKS.

MUSIC.

VIDEO.

AND

CAFE

29 Church St, Burlington 802-865-2711

‘ SEVEN'DAYS

page

was able to start seeing them again.

YOU WIN SOME... C o ntin u ed fr o m page 7

Fan PiagnB un September 14-Noveiroer 8 Classes Run Registration Begins September 3 . (Member fees in parentheses)

Basketball Co-ed Youth Clinic Boys & girls ages 7-10 leam the fundatmentals o f basketball through fun drills and practice games. Fee includes t-shirt. Saturdays, 1:45-2:55 pm. $35 ($20)_________________

Youth Leagues

Group Fitness Aerobic Class Pass Attend any o f 28 classes each week, including Step, AeroBlast, and Awesome Abs. Includes classes at the YMCA at Essex. 8 weeks for $79 or 17 weeks for $135. ( Free)

Step Aerobic* in Essex MonAVed. 5:30 - 6:30 pm. $53

Low-lmoact Aerobics in Essex Tue/Thu. 6:10-7pm. $53._______

Learn to Teach Group Fitness Four-session course covers class design, exercise guidelines, anatomy & physiology, injury prevention and nutrition. Taught by an AFAA examiner at the YMCA at Essex. Mondays, 6 :3 0 -9 :1 5 pm. Sept. 21,28 and Oct. 5, 1 2 . 5 1 1 0 . ($85)

Yoga Experience the physical and mental benefits o f global yoga, a system that teaches relaxation techniques to use in your daily life. Increase your strength, flexibility and balance. At 266 College Street: Tuesdays, 9-9:55 am $58 ($46) At Edmunds Elementary: Thursdays, 5:30-6:30 pm. $58 ($46)

Teams play each week in games o f six-minute quarters, ten players per team roster. Officials, electronic scorebaord, and a t-shirt for each player included. League runs Sept. 13Nov. 1. $40 per player ($25). C o-ed Middle Sch o ol Leagu e Grades 5 & 6. Six teams. Sundays, 12:15-2 pm. Jr . High C o-ed L eagu e G rad es 7 & 8. Ten teams. Sunday, 2-5 pm. Teen Leagu e Separate divisions for boys and girls ages 14-15 years. Take this opportunity to prepare for the season. Sundays, 5-7 pm.

Men's 4-on-4 League A good workout and great competition! Teams play full court in officiated games. Sept. 21-Nov. 9. Mondays, 7:30-10 pm. Team: $200

Gym & Dance Little Gvmies 12 - 36 mos, with parent. Children grow physically and socially through music, games and exploration of hoops, balls, parachute, and balance beam. Sat, 9:05- 9:35 am. $42 ($25)

Tiny Tumblers Ages 4 - 5 years, with parent. Explore tumbling and move-ment through use o f balance beam, uneven bars, rings, balls and hoops. Sat, 9 :4 0 - 10:10 am. $42 ($25)

Physical-Mind Class

Beginner Gymnastics

This class provides a softer, gentler approach to toning and flexibility. Develop strength, elongate muscles and tone abs, thighs & buttocks. Thursdays, 6-6:55 pm. $40 ($32)

Ages 6 - 1 2 yrs., grouped by ability. Skill develop-ment includes use of balance beam, vault, uneven bars, rings and tumbling. Thursdays, 3 - 4 pm and Sat, 10:15 - 11:05 am. $59 ($34)

Super Stretch One hour o f relaxing, elongating, stress-free moves.Thursdays, 9-10 am. $30 ($20)

Weight Lose Thru Weight Training The latest strength-training techniques combined with aerobic activities, support and supervision. Mon/Wed/Fri, 7 - 8 pm. $72 ($50)

Diabetes Exercise Offered in collaboration with Fletcher Allen Health Care, this 12-week course includes land and water exercise. FREE with physician’s referral.

Pfe/Post-Natal Water Exercise Class For pregnant and postpartum women, this program includes safe exercises to relieve lower back pain and swelling, as well as maintain muscle tone and increase circulation. MonAVed. 7 - 8 pm. $62 ($44)

Mommv & Me A great way for you and your 12-30 month-old to socialize while using dance, songs and gym equipment to channel energy in creative and beneficial ways. Thursdays, 99:50am. $48 ($32) bones. Tue/Fri, 9 -10am. $50 ($33)

Child's Creative Dance Ages 3-5 yrs. explore movement and the elements o f dance, developing coordination, body awareness, creativity and rhythm. Wed. 2:45 3:30 pm. $48 ($32)

Modem Dance Discover the basics o f modem dance including balance, turning, rhythm, kicks, partnering and expression. No previous experience necessary. Thursdays, 7-8 pm. $59 ($48)

Ballroom Medley Leam the basics o f Fox Trot, Tango, Rhumba and Swing in a fun, relaxed atmosphere. Tuesdays, 7-8 pm. Couples: $102 ($82)

American Styie/Swing Leam the basics o f Waltz, Fox Trot, tango, and East and West Coast Swing. Saturdays 4:30-5:30 pm. Couples: $102 ($82)

Totally Tango Add a touch o f drama to your dancing in a fun, no-pressure learning environment. Held at the First Congregational Church o f Essex. Thursdays, 7-8 pm, Sept. 17-Oct 8, Couples: $55 ($45)

Martial Arts Kids in Karate A ges7 -older. Emphasizes de velopment o f endurance, coordin ation, strength & flexibility. Tue/Thu,

4- 5:15, $67 ($50)

Kickboxing Ages 13 - adult. Training focuses on basics o f kicking, punch-ing and blocking, and includes heavy bag work, pad drills and fighting strategy. Improve endurance, strength, flexibility and self-confidence. At 266 College Street: Wednesdays, 6:45-8:15 pm. $34($28) At the YMCA at Essex: Tue/Thur, 7 - 8 : 3 0 pm. $ 67($50)

Tai Chi An ancient oriental practice uniting spirit, mind and body. Introductorylevel classes focus on breathing and concentration, and are appropriate for adults o f all ages and fitness levels. Tue/Thur 8-9 am. $67 ($50)

John Engels, writer,

director for Fred Tuttle, film maker o f M an with a Plan Tunbridge At Harvard I had a friend who ran cross-country, and he decided to run some track. I said, ‘O h, I’ll go with you.’ I’d never run track before, just high school baseball and soccer. O n one o f the first days the coach pointed at me and some other guys, and lined us up on the track. I was in front, run ning as hard as I could, and everybody passed me before the first half o f the first lap was over. I was really trying to run much too fast. I was in terrible shape, but thought maybe I have some God-given talent

Professor o f English at St. Michael’s College Burlington W hen I was in the fifth or sixth grade at St. Joseph’s School in South Bend, Indiana, I had a friend named Donald Diedrich who suffered m enin gitis, or sleeping sickness. He was a sort o f math genius, but after the disease he changed, he babbled all the time, and the kids made fun o f him. O ne day I was waiting for my mother to pick me up, and Donald was there. I was ashamed that I did n’t like him anymore, after he had been my friend. Some tough kids started to pick on him, poking at and hitting

Swim Lessons The YMCA offers swim lessons for people o f all ages. For information on times and fees, please call. Classes include Parent/Child Classes for ages 6 months to 5 years, Preschool Classes for independent swimmers ages 3 - 5 years, Progressive Swim P a sses for ages six and older, Teen Swim Lessons and Beginner Adult Lessons.

Tumble and Splash Back-to-back creative movement/ tumbling and swim class. Ages 2 - 3, with parent. Sat, 11 am -Noon. $68($53). Ages 3 - 5, without parent. Sat, 11:30am -12:30 pm. $73( $55) _____________________

YMCA Lifeguarding (16 yrs. & older) Provides the knowledge and skills needed to prepare for the occupation o f lifeguard. Course emphasizes the concept o f preventative lifeguarding, communications, administrative skills and watermanship. Pre-requisites are first aid, CPR for the Professional Resucer and passing a quarter-mile swim and skills test. Sept. 16-Nov. 4. Wednesdays, 6-10 pm. $ 2 10($180)

Water Fitness Splash & Tone Low-impact workout focuses on tension release, strengthening, flexibility, toning and endurance. Tue/Thur, 9 - 1 0 am. $62. (Free) Tue/Thur, 6:30 - 7:30 pm. $62($44)

Water Aerobics A fast-paced aerobic workout designed to increase cardiovascular strength and en-durance. Mon/Wed. 6 - 7 pm. $62 ($44) MonAVed/Fri. 6: 15- 7: 15 am. $82 (Free)

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here. It became one o f the most excruciating mom ents o f my life. I was winded, cramping, a huge stress factor, but I had to run the last lap. People started clapping and encouraging me, which made it m uch worse. By the time I crossed the finish line I was a wreck — my body and my ego. And no one talked to me afterwards. After that I realized that some things you can do with your m ind and some things you can do with your body, and that I’d better stick to the things I could do with my mind. It was a defin ing m oment.

John Tucher, Director o f the Racial Justice and Equity Project at the Peace & Justice Center Burlington I was very young — 19 — when I got married the first time, and had two children very young. I didn’t hold up my end o f the marriage, and for three or four years it cost me my children. I began to listen to my mom and the wom en in my family how not to ever let that happen again. My kids lost, I lost and we all lost because o f my failure as a hus band. T h at made me take stock o f myself — I looked at the dif ference between being a male and a man. It was very painful, because my children are the center o f my being. Happily, I

him. Though I was afraid o f the boys I intervened and asked them to stop. I took Donald to lead him away. But then I felt this heavy hand clamp down on the back o f my neck and it was Mr. Corbett, a parent who had come to pick up his own kid. All he’d seen was Donald crying and me with my hand on his arm, and he told me he was ashamed o f me and that he knew my parents, and he sort o f shoved me and I fell into Donald, knocking him down, and then my m other was stand ing there, and Mrs. Diedrich. I tried to explain, and so did Donald, but he was talking so fast no one could understand him. I’ll never forget how I felt that afternoon, the terrible unfairness o f it all, when I had set out to defend Donald and, instead o f justice, I was seen as the criminal and shamed in front o f my classmates and the other parents. T he next day in school Sister Dom inica called me into the office, and I had a note from my mother. T he Sister explained to me that, though I had been dealt with unjustly, it was good for m y soul, because it countered pride and taught humility. She also explained that God had afflicted Donald w ith this terrible disease and changed forever, and that while some m ight feel that God had treated D onald — who had

s e pt envb e r* 2 *, - <1 9 9 6-

never harmed anybody, who was a brilliant boy — with injustice, we could never understand G od’s ways, and must have faith that everything is for the best. I came out of that never understanding why God had chosen him to pun ish, and I guess it was the first time I had ever questioned any thing in my Catholic upbring ing. I don’t know if that kind o f cynicism is a strength or weakness, but it was an epiphany.

B a rb a ra S n e llin g , Republican candidate for lieutenant governor Shelburne I ran for class president in a new school, and I won in the first year, which was 7th grade, and in 8th grade. In the 9th grade I was defeated. I think I’d taken it for granted and assumed it didn’t take a special effort. I was rather depressed about losing because I wasn’t used to it, and I wondered if I wasn’t liked anymore. Subsequently I decided to do something about it, and I worked harder at making friends and finding out where I had gone wrong — or indeed if I had gone wrong. Because it’s perfectly legitimate for another person to have a chance at a high school election, o f course. But I went back and was elect ed president in the 10th and II th grades, and student gov ernment president as a senior. I think I learned how to stay in touch with my classmates and build relationships.

with special guest

Over the Rhine

September 14 ■7:30pm Flynn Theatre, Burlington, Vermont

Two favorite* from Prairie Home Companion!

Tickets: Flynn Theatre Box Office, Burlington UVM Campus Ticket Store, Burlington New England Video, Essex Peacock Music, Plattsburgh Sound Source, Middlebury

La Bottine Souriante Jay Ungar & Molly Mason Friday, September 11 at 8 pm

Charge by phone (802) 86-FLYNN

French Canada's roof-raising world-beat ensemble La Bottine Souriante ('The Smiling Boot') shares the bill with American folk

004

Tax and applicable service charges additional. Date and time subject to change. nm Presented by All Points Booking and Metropolitan Entertainment Group. Co-sponsored by po ll

luminaries Jay Ungar and Molly Mason for the joyous opening of the' Flynn's 1998-99 season. Stirring the sounds of fiddles, accordions, harmonica, brass, foot percussion, and spirited vocals in a savory musical stew, La Bottine Souriante serves up one of the most refreshing fusions in contemporary music. Composers and performers of the haunting theme from Ken Bums' The Civil War, fiddler Ungar and guitarist/pianist Mason create heart-warming music inspired by the lilting tunes of Appalachia, Ireland, Scotland, and Cajun Louisiana. Get ready for a magical evening of folk and world music!

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Burlington T he m ost dramatic change in my life was leaving the con vent, but I didn’t perceive it as a failure even at that time, although some other people did. I felt liberated by my stud ies in theology, but I was leav ing and moving organically into something that felt like an ongoing process. I was per ceived by some as a defector — this was in 1969 — being an ex-nun has its own stigma. But it felt so right, I couldn’t have felt clearer about the decision. Some people said, ‘O h that

Manchester. I’d put all my hopes into that job. After many interviews, including a 10-hour day where I was interviewed by 12 people, I didn’t get the job. I thought it was the end o f my working life. Literally the next day I was on my way to Harrisburg. It was because of that failure to get the job that it got me thinking about my life in publishing and led me to start my own company, Vermont Magazine. In restrospect I’m delighted that it all happened, even though it was one o f the most disappointing moments o f my life.

Sensei Sunyana Graef, teacher/priest at the Zen Center Shelburne It’s a matter o f perspective whether one chooses to be a failure. Since I’ve been practic ing since the age of 20, I’ve seen things as stepping stones. It’s truly an opportunity to grow and learn — the “failure” fixes you at that moment, solid ifies you as something terrible that happened and you can get stuck in it, or you can see it as, ‘well here’s another opportunity in this wonderful life I have.’ This was a very important

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must have been so difficult for you,’ I almost felt guilty that it wasn’t. But I do have a lot o f fear. I did this thing called an enneagram and got in touch with the dom inant em otion in my life, fear. According to the enneagram, the only way to function is to become counter-phobic. So if something really scares me, I feel that’s what I m ust do, I’m drawn to it. W hen I was invited to be interim minister at the Unitarian Church, I was terrified, instead o f feeling, ‘O h this is exciting.’ My son Neil surprised me when he heard about it. He said, ‘O h, mom, go for it. I would do that.’ He really valued what that com m u nity stood for and saw it as a place where I m ight find my next vocation. It figured into my decision, definitely.

David Sleeper, Publisher o f Vermont Magazine Cornwall M ine was a job I failed to get. I had applied for job as edi tor o f the D artm outh alumni magazine. I was one o f two finalists out o f 100 applicants. I was desperate to stay in Vermont, because where I was working, Country Journal maga zine, was moving to Harris burg, Pennsylvania, from

SEVEN DAYS

Fran Stoddard, Associate Professor o f Champlain College, and host o f “Points N orth” Williston W hen I was in fourth grade the school I went to had a track, one end was for elemen tary and the other was for junior high school. We were going to have a race around the whole track. I’d never done it before, but I was a good ath lete. We started running and I was in the lead. W hen I got out by the junior high part, one o f the boys said, ‘W hoa, look at that little girl go!’ I felt great, but then I got about threefourths o f the way and I ran out o f steam. Others started passing me. By the time we ended I was about seventh or eighth. N o one talked to me or told me about pacing myself. Here I had this shining m om ent and then utterly failed. I took away a couple o f things: first, an awareness about being a girl and it wasn’t right for me to win. I don’t know why it struck me, I’d never thought that before. Also, that you have to have a better sense o f where you have to go, and pace your self. I also realized how im por tant it was to have somebody cheer me on — I’ll never forget that voice. It was a lot o f lessons in that one incident —

thing for me: I was not coordi nated or athletically inclined at all, I didn’t do well at gym or •sports. There was one time when I was probably in ninth or tenth grade when we were being tested. For some reason, I began to think, even though I’ve never done this before, it is possible to do it. I see others doing it. I envisioned myself being one o f these other people who could jum p over the vault. I felt I was them, there was no difference. For the first time I was able to do these things with absolutely no problem. W hat that taught me was I wasn’t this limited individual — my capa bilities were far greater than anything I had imagined.

William Folmar, owner o f W aterfront Video Burlington In tenth grade I was so awfully shy, I took a speech class, and it was awful for me to get up and give a big speech. I was so terrified on the day I was supposed to give my final speech, I didn’t even show up for class. I got an F. So for a num ber o f years I was just terri fied o f public speaking. In col lege I got into radio and that was different. Then as a senior I took a public speaking class with this venerable old teacher September

2 , 1998

Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgendered, & Questioning (GLBTQ) who was friendly and nice, but really tough. We’d done a cou ple o f speeches and I’d done okay, but the third one was, you had to prom ote a thing or an idea w ithout referring to it directly. He had told us, ‘do not ever bring food or drink to this class.’ I had a topic and didn’t like it, so 15 minutes before the class I was prepared to not go and say I was sick. But then someone told me this idea and I decided to try it. I ran across the campus, got all hot and sweaty, and ran back into class with this Coke in my hand. The teacher said, ‘Mr. Folmar, you know you’re not supposed to bring drink into the class.’ I whispered to him, ‘this is the thing I’m going to prom ote.’ I just got up there and hid behind the Coke and said some dumb things, and I got an A. Something changed lor me after that — I learned you can wing it. I’d also never been that publicly audacious about something before.

Jim B ranca, guitarist/vocalist for Bloozotomy Fairfax T he only mistake is the one you don’t learn from. W hat comes to mi nd is, I quit my day job at Kinko’s for a record deal. My name was in Bill board, we were supposed to record at PO P Studios in Santa Monica, I met John Tesh, I was totally star-struck. I immediate ly signed on the line without consulting a lawyer or any thing. It turned out the guy had made all these promises he couldn’t keep. I got a lawyer then and got out o f the con tract, and had to go back to my job with my tail between my legs. The band broke up, I totally lost face. I learned that you can’t go through life lean ing forward, you need to be able to walk out o f any deal that’s presented to you. I learned after 10 years in Hollywood that the greatest person that can discover you is you.

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How Can You Help? BY: 1. Being a Role Model & Facilitating a GLBTQ Youth Group OR: 2. Being a Speaker on Homophobia, Heterosexism & GLBTQ Youth

Governor, running for re-election Richmond I lost a couple o f different races, these were stumbles along the way, but I still want ed to try it again. I ran for stu dent council at Burlington High School three times and lost three times. But I decided there were other ways for me to be involved in the school. I didn’t walk away from putting myself out there, and in adult hood I wanted to be involved in real goverment. There’s a les son here: perservere. Those experiences teach you to be humble...I had my ego squashed when I was a kid and I wanted to play baseball but I was miserable at it. What you learn is to look for something else in which you can excel. CD

Se p t e mb e r i t

2 , .i

1998 ,, ^

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150,000 Pennies For Your Thoughts That’s $1500, and it’s the cash award for the winner of this year’s Ralph Nading Hill, Jr. Literary Prize contest. The contest, sponsored by Green Mountain L IT E R A RY Power Corporation and Vermont Life P R I Z E magazine, is open to any Vermont resident or student. Entries may be essays, short stories, plays or poetry. The entry must be previously unpublished NOTE: and less than 3,000 words. The focus of the When submitting entries, please provide entrant’s work must be: “Vermont—Its People, name, address and phone The Place, Its History Or Its Values.” on a separate sheet of paper. Do not mention Entries may be sent to The Corporate the entrant’s name on Relations Department of Green Mountain the entry itself. Power, P.O. Box 850, South Burlington,VT 05402-0850; please call Corporate Relations at (802)660-5652 for more information.

D E A D L I N E IS N O V E M B E R 13 p a g e

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SEVEN DAYS

September

1998

.BEING THERE By E r i k Es c kHs e n n my view, a fair promises fairgoers one main thing: the excitement o f experiencing something out o f the ordinary. As a youth, I was drawn to the edgy glamour o f the Cham plain Valley Fair midways cranking, heavy-metal score; tattooed, fast-talking game operators; and ample opportunities to gamble and lose. T he midway was, in essence, the bad part o f some bad town that my South Burlington ’hood wasn’t in the 1970s and that I definitely wanted to roam, if only for one night a year. I heightened the effect by sneaking in through a hole in the fence, like some teen-boy update o f Alice in Wonderland. Now, I don’t get much o f a thrill from bad parts o f towns. I’ve lately been more interested in the fair’s agricultural exhibits — ironically, the features o f country life from which fairs have traditionally offered respite. W hile cows and pigs are fairly strange to me, a down town dweller, I would hardly call them exciting. They’re cer tainly not anything I’d sneak in to see. I decided to liven things up this year by doing something I’d never done before — or at least hadn’t done in so long the * memory was stale. W hich brought me to the entrance o f the World o f Wonders sideshow, where a barker look ing vaguely like Grandpa from “T he M unsters” described, with Clinton-esque deftness, the strange creatures “on display”

inside. I’m as gullible as the next guy, but I was pretty sure there’d be no actual elephant skinned woman, or eight-foot woman, or any man or woman with too many arms, legs, eyes or noses in there. The barker’s spiel did suggest, though, that the fat man was real. So I ponied up two bucks and went in.

I was right.. .sort of. The fat man was real, the only live attraction in the tent. But he didn’t appear to be “the biggest, fattest, funniest man in show business.” Planted in a worn recliner, he alternately read Nevada Barr’s A Superior Death and sold autographed postcards. Ha ha. Come to find out, there are a lot o f things about the fat

his lunch before he com es... C otton candy is wonderful once or twice a year, but if you try to live off it, you’re going to have problems very quickly.” And though his salt-and-pepper handlebar mustache squares with the carny ideal, in conver sation the 52-year-old Belmont, Massachusetts, native comes off more like an amusement indus try analyst — say, a columnist

T h e b a r k e r 's s p ie l

man that aren’t as they appear. For one, his name is Robert Bruce Snowdon, not Harold Hughes, as the barker advertis es, and he puts his weight in the “upper 600s,” not 712 pounds as rendered in the “artist’s concept” on the outside o f the tent. He’s quicker with fair-dining advice than with jokes: “Make sure Junior has

for Amusement Business, where his career as a fat man began in the fall o f 1976. Snowdon had been research ing job opportunities in the Portsmouth, New Hampshire, public library when he came across a 350-pound fat man in a book about fairs. A full 450 pounds at the time, he figured he had the stuff. He wrote a let

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TEACHINGS

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ter to Tom Powell, then editor o f Amusement Business, asking for advice. T he following sum mer, he was making his debut at Milwaukee’s Summerfest. “The first time I ever seen a sideshow I was in it,” he says w ith a laugh. Twenty-one years later, Snowdon has few regrets about his career choice. There have been times he considered pack ing it in, such as the night he was pepper-sprayed by a fratboy, and another when he was grabbed in a choke-bar hold by a “steroid monster.” But he gen erally prefers sitting in his easy chair for 12 hours a day, six m onths a year, to sweating out the hot seasons in Gibsonton, Florida, where he and many other carnies make their off-sea son homes. And for a guy publicly shilling for a disability scooter, in private he seems remarkably comfortable with his weight. He claims his health is good and, most im portant, that he’s mentally comfortable with his girth. “They say that inside every fat man, there’s a thin man trying to get ou t,” he says with a slap o f his belly. “But I sometimes think that inside every thin man there’s a fat man yearning to grow.” Snowdon notes that his nat urally portly father was a lean 182 pounds when he died but had “lost his m ind” through a lifetime o f dieting. W hen discussing the future o f the fair business, he’s less jolly. W hile he observes that “American life has changed much for the better as far as amusement is concerned,” the C o n tin u ed on n ext page

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age, a problem exacer Continued from page 17 bated by the physical rigors o f much carnival outdoor amusement work. “Most peoples business has been a idea o f work is pushing a casualty o f that change. mouse around,” N ot only is there not as Snowdon says, which m uch o f a carnival may explain why the com m unity as there people he considers “real used to be, he says, but carnies” are in their for real adventure has ties and up. “Nobody become elusive. wants to do any o f this.” “You go from one Yet people still attend American city to the the fair, for whatever rea next, they all look very so n... for now. As the m uch alike. People satellite dish atop used to go on the road Snowdons own trailer to get out o f town — a attests, however, compe change o f pace. Now if tition for the chance to you want a change o f amuse is ubiquitous. But pace, turn on the satel it’s not just on TV. Asked lite dish.” (In fact, the about the World of night I spoke with Wonders scam — come Snowdon, on, the fat man’s the only T he Learning Channel live attraction — he aired “Sideshow,” a counters, “I’ve seen trick docum entary in which ier things in supermar he appears.) kets.” At the end o f the He should know. . . ® day, these trends trans late into a labor short

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s Vermont going native? Even if Fred Tuttle fails to win the Republican nomination for U.S. senator, his semi-seri ous candidacy has produced a theme that is shaping Vermont politics this election season. Following the lead o f the “man with a plan,” two other con tenders for statewide offices are making much o f their status as native Vermonters, and most o f their flatland-born rivals are in turn seeking to show that they too are fully steeped in the state’s history and culture. This exaltation o f localism constitutes a curious trend in a world ever more interconnected and heedless o f boundaries. And while pride in place can surely be a positive political impulse, fixation on a particular geographic entity often engen ders negative attributes: narcis sism and xenophobia, for exam ple. Given that danger, Tuttle’s candidacy may not be so amus ing after all. Admittedly lacking other qualifications for a Senate seat, the retired dairy farmer and high school dropout has been cast by filmmaker John O ’Brien as the quintessential native Vermonter. N ot only can Tuttle trace his Vermont roots through two centuries, he serves as an embodiment o f the state’s tradi tional — and vanishing — identity as a land o f flinty yeomen dispensing a taciturn, homespun wisdom. Mark Candon, a Rutland stockbroker, and Bernard Rome, a Sherburne business man, may not be sons o f the soil, but that hasn’t prevented them from brandishing their Vermont birth certificates as credentials for two o f the state’s top elected offices. Candon is competing against Jack Long

and Peter Diamondstone, both born elsewhere, in the Republican congressional pri mary, while Rome is battling Ohio native Ruth Dwyer for the right to represent the GOP in the gubernatorial race. “That guy from Brooklyn” is how Candon routinely refers to Bernie Sanders, holder of the state’s sole U.S. House seat. “I grew up here and believe I rep

iOP-ED

Pub lic P o w e r D a y a t M c N e il

Frank Bryan for determining whether a resident ranks as “a real Vermonter.” “Bernie’s been here for 30 winters,” she notes. Even as he airs ads boasting o f his Vermont pedigree, Rome insists that any element of xenophobia was introduced into the governor’s race not by him, but by incumbent Howard I Dean. The Democratic gover nor, another former New Yorker popular with Vermont voters, had earlier described

•

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In the Republican senatorial primary, recent arrival Jack McMullen offers a fat target for a competing candidacy designed to appeal to nativist sentiments. The millionaire management consultant has found it hard to undo the depiction o f him as a Bay State carpetbagger trying to buy nomination to a Vermont Senate seat once occupied by Green Mountain political icon George Aiken. John O ’Brien, whose film M an With a Plan catapulted Tuttle from obscurity to star dom, expresses confidence that his candidate will dispatch McMullen next Tuesday. And that might only be the begin ning o f the life-imitating-art Fred phenom enon. O ’Brien has ambitions for Tuttle to run a “respectful, informative” race against incum bent Sen. Patrick Leahy. O ’Brien, who has lived in the same Tunbridge home all his life, knows that the realVermonter approach won’t work against Leahy, another homeboy. T he imagemaker thus intends to position Tuttle as the epitome o f simple living

NOPLACELIKE H O M E? H a s

“n a t i v i s m ” i n

p o litic s g o n e

resent a Vermont heritage dif ferent from what he represents,” says the 46-year-old Proctor native. “My heritage is that o f the Green Mountain Boys, the Vermont Brigade in the Civil War, and the Vermont tradition o f self-reliance, personal respon sibility, independence and thrift.” Candon’s attempt to paint Sanders as a transplanted New Yorker with alien values “won’t work,” says the congressman’s campaign spokeswoman Jane Sanders. “Vermonters know that Bernie stands for the same things they do.” Besides, observes Jane Sanders, her husband has far surpassed the 10-winters stan dard set by University of Vermont political scientist

V e r m o n t

to o

fa r ?

Rome as “a wealthy New York businessman.” Rome explains that he “had to set the record straight” — and in the process draw a boundary line between himself and Dwyer, who presents her self as a Thetford dairy farmer. “Spending your childhood in a place is important in understanding its concerns,” says Rome. And while he con cedes that it’s possible for a per son born somewhere else to love Vermont as much as a native, Rome implies that Dwyer can never be on the same intimate terms with the state — even though he spent much o f his professional career in New York while Dwyer has lived in Vermont for the past 27 years.

This exaltation of localism constitutes a curious trend in a world ever more interconnected and heedless of boundaries.

and com m on sense — in con trast to the silver-tongued pol beguiled by Washington’s wicked ways. Relatively recent settlers in the state are, ironically, driving the nativist theme, observes Bryan. He points to traditional Vermont emblems that have been converted into quaint accessories for an upscale lifestyle. Just as ox yokes now serve as planters and cow cutouts decorate expansive lawns, the upper-middle-class migrants to Vermont who made Fred fashionable have produced “the final indignity o f taking a real person and making an arti fact out o f him ,” Bryan says. T he author o f Real Vermonters Don’t M ilk Goats extends his class analysis by comparing chic Vermonters’ hostility toward McMullen’s candidacy to their more benign response four years earlier to Senate primary contender Douglas Costle. Although he was almost as much o f a new comer as McMullen, the candi dacy o f Costle, a former Carter adm inistration official, didn’t rankle liberal nouveaux Vermonters because “they iden tified with him ,” Bryan says. The proportion o f nativeborn residents does continue to shrink, however. In the 1980 census, about 62 percent o f Vermonters were born in the state; by 1990, natives repre sented 57 percent o f the popu lation. If there is a rising strain o f Vermont chauvinism, this continuing demographic shift may largely account for it. O ne’s place o f birth has often been and will always be an issue in Vermont politics, O ’Brien suggests. “Vermonters have a strong sense o f pride in where they live — something people in a lot o f other states lack.” (Z)

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Wednesday

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free weights • cardio machines • personal training • spinning • aerobics • yoga african dance •kung fu • heavy bag • saunas

‘A N N IE ’ A U D IT IO N S: Yo, Daddy Warbucks? Adult actors brush up on their singing and dancing skills in preparatory workshops before the try outs. W illiston Central School, 7-10 p.m. Free. Info, 879-5850, ext. 5716. ‘CRAZY FOR Y O U ’: This light-heart ed Gershwin musical follows a N ew York playboy sent to foreclose on a long-dormant theater in Nevada. Town Hall Theatre, Stowe, $10. Info, 253-3961. ‘GREATER T U N A ’: “Our Town” it’s not. Two actors portray 20 eccentric characters — all inhabitants o f Tuna, Texas — in this comic send-up o f small town life. Montpelier City Hall

Arts Center, 1:30 & 8 p.m. $9-12.50. Info, 229-0492.

dance ‘RIVERDANCE’: Irish step dancing meets American disco in this show o f fancy footwork from Michael Flatley and crew. Saratoga Performing Arts Center, Saratoga Springs, 8 p.m. $2050. Info, 518-587-3330.

art FIGURE DRAW ING: The human fig ure motivates aspiring and accom plished artists in a weekly drawing ses sion at the Firehouse Gallery, Burlington, 6:30-9:30 p.m. $3-6. Info, 865-7165.

kids

gather for support and assistance around the challenges o f childrearing. Babysitting goes with the program at the King Street Youth Center, Burlington, 6-8 p.m. Free. Info, 800-639-4014. PARENTING GROUP: Moms and dads compare notes on parenting a school-age child. Bring your lunch to the Family Connection Center, 23 George St., Burlington, noon. Free. I Info, 859-0934. H O M ESC H O O LERS STORYTIME: Stay-at-home students hear animal tales at the Fletcher Library, Burlington, 1:30-2:30 p.m. Free. Info, 865-7216. STORYTIME: Children listen, snack and make crafts at the Childrens Pages. W inooski, 10 a. m. Free. Info, 655-1537.

PARENTS A N O N Y M O U S: Parents

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-H

' S E V E N DAYS

September

2 ,

T9 9 8 m

■■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ m

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omen's Political Caucus of Vermont has nything to say about it. And they do.

he female-friendly multi-partisan orgaization is holding two informational eetings to encourage more women to get into government. Senatorial vannabes Susan Sweetser and Cheryl

vest.

altold s:

was a curiously strong urge that Joy Powell and Steven Wrathall start the Southern Vermont Garlic & erb Festival — a culinary convergence (if good vibes and bad breath that pro motes the not-so-subtle charms of a flo ral foe. Through cooking demos and edu cational "weed walks," it's an opportuni ty to get on the bulb. < aturday, September 5. Local Flavor Farmstand, Rt. 100, Wilmington, 10 a.m. 6 p.m. $2. Info, 368-7147. Inspired

pointers:

annabe Robin Hood? Archers get an ge on the competition this weekend ith free target practice and safety clinfs hosted by the Vermont Army Guard nd the Vermont Bowman Association, ubbed "Operation Straight Arrow," the ent features marksmanship lanes of

9-6001.

tc VTTERED W O M E N ’S SU PPO R T IOUPS: Women Helping Battered lomen facilitates a support group for >used people in Burlington, 6:30-8 Free. Info, 658-1996. FITTING GROUP: Needle workers . aP techniques and design ideas with

Festival, a celebration of music and dance in the spirit of old Europe. Centered around the Chandler Music Hall, the rain-or-shine event draws Celtic and French-Canadian musicians from both sides of the border, food from local eateries, and an expected "couple thou sand" festivalgoers. Paying the piper was never so much fun.

Sunday, September 6. Main St., Randolph, noon - midnight. $16. Info, 728-9133.

reuse, re c y c le , r o c k o u t : Using instruments constructed solely from materials dis carded by the Stratton Mountain Resort, Donald Knaack, a.k.a. Junkman, is a very different drummer. His annual Junkjam borrows talent from bands such as Living Colour, David Byrne, Spyro Gyra, and Hot Tuna and takes to "six large musical playstations from remnants of the ski area's past." Move over, Fat Albert. Sunday, September 6. Stratton Mountain, 7:30 p.m. $12. Info, 297-4137.

other wool workers. Northeast Fiber Arts Center, S. Burlington, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 865-4981. ‘W O M E N IN POW ER’: Interested in seeing more women in policy-making roles in government? The National W omens Political Caucus o f Vermont hosts an informational meeting with guest speaker Susan Sweetser. See “to do” list, this issue. UVM Women’s Center, 34 South Williams St., Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 763-5208. VISUAL ARTS CRITIQ UE: Visual artists offer art work and constructive criticism respectively— and respectful ly. Rhombus Gallery, 186 College St., Burlington, 8 p.m. $3. Info, 865-3144. FIBROMYALGIA SU PPO R T GROUP: This neuromuscular pain and fatigue syndrome affects more women than men. Join fellow sufferers

2 , 1998

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W E D D IN G R E C E PT IO N S REHEARSAL D IN N E R S

in the Board Room, Fanny Allen Campus, Colchester, 6:30-8:30 p.m. Free. Info, 862-3273. CH AM PLAIN VALLEY FAIR: The state’s largest agricultural fair serves up rides, games, exhibits, entertainment and the best in fair food. Catch a reallive rodeo in the Grandstand tonight at 7 p.m. for $8. Champlain Valley Exposition, Essex Junction, 9 a.m. midnight. $7. Info, 878-5545.

COMPANY PICNICS, MEETINGS, & REUNIONS THE PERFECT PLACE, SPRING THROUGH FALL

thursday music JO H N M ICH AEL M O N T GOMERY: The country music star who topped the charts with “I Swear” rides into town for an evening o f

continued on next page

September

Breakfast - Lunch -Baked Goods-

AUof

September 2

I.RMONT EXPOS: The hometown ?ers take on the Oneonta Yankees (the final game o f the season, jntennial Field, Burlington, 7 p.m. • Info, 655-4200. JUNTAIN BIKE RACES: The ^ illiston woods host weekly cycle of varying length and difficulty, ttdoor Experience at Catamount, illiston, 6 p.m. $3-8. Info,

802-864-9220

Saturday and Sunday, September 5 and 6. Camp Johnson, Colchester, 9 a. m. - 4 p.m. Free. Info, 654-0246.

f o l ked up:

N. Champlain at North St.

Randolph's a stage for the New World

Vednesday, September 2. UVM Women's 'enter, 34 South Williams St.f Burlington, 'p.m. Free. Thursday, September 3. hase Center, Vermont Law School, So. loyalton, 5:30 p.m. Free. Info, 63-5208.

free

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pickin’, grinning’, and down-on-oneknee balladeerin. Champlain Valley Exposition, Essex Junction, 7 p.m. $26-29. Info, 878-5545. A C O U ST IC M U SIC IA N ’S C O OP: Songwriters and song-listeners compare notes in this works-in progress workshop at Rhombus Gallery, 186 College St., Burlington, 8 p.m. Donations. Info, 865-9603.

drama ‘A N N IE ’ A U D IT IO N S: See September 2. ‘CRAZY FOR YOU’: See September 2. ‘GREATER T U N A ’: See September 2, 8 p.m. $12.50. ‘DEATH AT T H E D U D E R A N C H ’: The Spirit o f Ethan Allen puts murder on the menu with an interactive, floating spin-off o f City Slickers. Leaving from the Burlington Boathouse, 6:30 p.m. $34.95. Info, 862-8300. ‘T H E GLASS MENAGERIE’: Tennessee Williams wrote the book — or at least the script — on dys functional families. This masterpiece paints a touching portrait o f a fading Southern beauty, her poet son and painfully shy daughter in 1930s St. Louis. Weston Playhouse, 8 p.m. $24. Info, 824-5288. ‘O L D W IC K ED S O N G S’: Both pupil and master learn a thing or two when a young American piano prodigy studies under an irascible professor in Kurt Waldheim-era Vienna. This “harmony o f opposites” was nominated for the 1996 Pulitzer Prize for Drama. Dorset Theater Festival, 8 p.m. $20-32. Info, 867-5777.

dance ‘RIVERDANCE’: See September 2, $20-55.

words BO O K D ISC U SS IO N SERIES: “The Literature o f Russian Life” dis cussion takes a look at The Master and the Margarita, the Stalin-cen sored masterpiece by Mikhail Bulgakov. North Hero Public Library, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 372-8353. LAZY W RITERS FORUM : Share your writing in progress in a sup portive workshop environment.

Kellogg-Hubbard Library, Montpelier, 6 p.m. Free. Info, 223-3338. POETRY W O RK SH OP: Ask not what you can do for poems but “W hat Poems Can D o” for you in this free public workshop. Ilsley Public Library, Main St., Middlebury, 1 p.m. Free. Info, 388-7523.

kids PARENTS AN O N Y M O U S: See September 2. Chittenden County Food Shelf, Burlington. ‘N E W TITLES’ STORY TIME: Nature lovers four and up come along on Crinkleroot’s Visit to Crinkle Cove, with Vermont author Jim Arnosky. Barnes & Noble Bookstore, S. Burlington, 3 p.m. Free. Info, 864-8001. STORY H OUR: Kids learn from lighthearted literature in a country setting. Flying Pig Children’s Books, Ferry Rd., Charlotte, 10:30 a.m. Free. Info, 425-2600.

etc CH AM PLAIN VALLEY FAIR: See September 2. ‘W O M E N IN POW ER’: See September 2. Vermont Senator Cheryl Rivers is among the guest speakers. Chase Center, Vermont Law School, S. Royalton, 5:30 p.m. See ‘to do’ list. Info, 763-5208. B U R LIN G TO N BUSINESS ASSOCIATION: Downtown busi ness types tour the Burlington Business Information Center in a regular monthly meeting at Key Bank, 149 Bank St., Burlington, 7:30 a.m. Reservations, 863-1175. A D O P T IO N M EETING: Search and other related issues are on the agenda at a regular meeting o f the Adoption Alliance o f Vermont. Shelburne Methodist Church, 6:309:30 p.m. Free. Info, 985-2464. GAILER G R A N D O PEN ING : The Gailer School, a college prep school formerly in Middlebury, invites the public to a ribbon-cutting ceremony at their new campus. Shelburne Commons, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 985-1276. H A U N T E D FOREST V O LU N TEERS: The Green Mountain Audubon Society’s annual Halloween event is fast becoming a legend o f their sleepy hollow. Interested volun-

10-15 minutes from Burlington

VERMONT ACTORS WORKSHOP

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864-0119

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$25 per individual, 2 days of focus on chipping, putting, irons & drivers with PGA pro Brian Bechard, T boxes & grass hitting $25 family pass call 434-5250 for info & directions

f r i day

525-3031.

art FIRST FRIDAY TO UR: Art lovers indulge in an evening o f gallery hop ping via trolley service linking exhibits at the Firehouse, Exquisite Corpse, Doll-Anstadt, Frog Hollow and Rhombus galleries. Downtown Burlington, 5-8 p.m. Free. Info, 865-7166. M ONTPELIER GALLERY WALK: Check out crafts, creative canvas and cheap art on a culture crawl through downtown Montpelier. Ten loca tions, 5-7 p.m. Free. Info, 229-2766.

music CO M EDY N IGH T: Boston-based comics Dave Fitzgerald and Emlen Drayton stand-up and deliver. Haskell Opera House, Derby Line, 8 p.m. $10. Info, 819-876-2020. LYNYRD SKYNYRD: More than two decades after their tragic plane crash, the leftover Southern-fried rock legend swaggers on, pointy boots and all. Champlain Valley Exposition, Essex Junction, 7 p.m. $30. Info, 878-5545.

Saturday

music B A N D OF LIBERTY: With a corps 50 musicians strong, the U.S. Air Force band fills the skies with popu lar, patriotic, and small-town tunes fit for the gazebo. Concert Meadow, Trapp Family Lodge, Stowe, 5:30 p.m. Free. Info, 253-7792. D EA N N A CARTER: The Grammynominated rockin’-country artist o f “D id I Shave My Legs for This?” fame performs — barefoot, we’re betting. Vermont State Fair, Rutland Fairgrounds, 7:30 p.m. $12. Info, 775-5200.

kids ‘M USIC W IT H ROBERT RESNIK’: Kids sing songs with the musical host o f Vermont Public Radio’s folk show “All the Traditions.” Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 11 a.m. Free. Register, 865-7216. TEEN NIGH T: Bring an instru ment to play or share, or be part o f the “Friday night at the Improv” audience. Westford Library, 7:309:30 p.m. Free. Info, 879-6808. STORY H O U R: Toddlers listen to stories at the Milton Public Library, 10:30 a.m. Free. Info, 893-4644.

dance

etc

‘RIVERDANCE’: See September 2,

CHAM PLAIN VALLEY FAIR: See September 2. O PEN OBSERVATORY: Get a good look at the summer sky with observant members o f the Vermont Astronomical Society. Hinesburg, 9 p.m. - midnight. Free. Info and directions, 985-3269. G LBTQ SU PPO R T GROUP: Gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered and questioning youth make new friends and get support. Outright Vermont, Burlington, 6:30-9 p.m. Free. Info, 800-452-2428. BATTERED W O M E N ’S SU P PORT GROUP: Women Helping Battered Women facilitates a group in Burlington, 9:30-11 a.m. Free. Info, 658-1996. BARBECUE FOR BERNIE: Chew the fat — or veggie burger— with Congressman Sanders at a cookout and concert sponsored by Addison

$20-55.

drama ‘CRAZY FOR YOU’: See September 2. ‘GREATER T U N A ’: See September 2, 8 p.m. $14.50. ‘O LD W ICKED SO N G S’: See September 3. ‘T H E GLASS MENAGERIE’: See September 3. ‘WHEREVER YO U MAY BE T O N IG H T ’: In this farcical come dy by Jericho native Keefe Healy, the members o f the Stevenson household get up on the wrong side o f the bed to discover they have passed away in the night. Dibden Center, Johnson State College, 8 p.m. $10. Info, 644-2542. ‘IN SU R R EC T IO N MASS’: This non-religious service includes radical texts spoken and sung, cantastoriaS

dance ‘RIVERDANCE’: See September 2, 2 & 8 p.m. $15-55. A U D IT IO N S: Champlain Arts Theater Company is seeking actors for three upcoming adult shows, including I Never Sang for My Father and Silent Contract, about sexual harassment in the workplace. 1 Main St., Burlington, 6-9 p.m. Free. Info, 860-3611. C O N T R A DANCE: Susan Kevra calls for Dave Langford, Keith Murphy, and Bill Tomczak at this northern-style community hoedown. Capitol City Grange Hall, Montpelier, 8 p.m. $6. Info, 426-3734.

drama ‘CRAZY FOR YOU’: See September 2. ‘GREATER T U N A ’: See September 2, 8 p.m. $14.50. ‘O L D W IC K ED SO N G S’: See September 3, 4 & 8:30 p.m. ‘T H E GLASS M ENAGERIE’: See September 3, 3 & 8 p.m. $21-27. A U D IT IO N S: Actors are invited to

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County Progressives. Sleeping Dogs will perform. Middlebury on the Green, 5:30-8 p.m. Free. Info, 862-1502. V T STATE FAIR: Horse shows, racing pigs, music and something called a “banjomobile” make this fair a real Vermont favorite. Rutland Fairgrounds, 8 a.m. - midnight. $6. Info, 775-5200.

and “funeral marches for rotten ideas.” Bread & Puppet Theater, Glover, 8 p.m. Donations. Info,

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teers should attend an informational and sign-up meeting at the Nature Center Barn, Huntington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 434-3068. G LBTQ SUPPO RT GROUP: Gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered and questioning youth make new friends and get support. Outright Central Vermont, Montpelier, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 800-452-2428. H ISTORIC RUTLAND TO UR: Volunteers in local and architectural history lead a walking tour based on the successful publication o f Views Through Time. Departing from Depot Park, Rutland, 10 a.m. $2. Info, 775-5413.

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What's black, white and Fred all over? The Boston Globe, the Washington Post, The New Yorker. Even National Public Radio has picked up on the most entertaining electoral race in Vermont — Republican battle for U.S. Senate. Farmers and flatlanders check out the "Fred Fest," a political picnic that serves up influence in Washington for a nickel-a-plate. It's the next best thing to "being there." Saturday, September 5. Tuttle Farm, Tunbridge, 1-5 p.m. Free. Info, 889-3474.

try out for a Stephen Goldberg pro duction o f “Jealousy, Rage and Other Forms o f Free Entertain ment.” O ff Center for the Dramatic Arts, 72 Church St., Burlington, 4 - 7 p.m. Info, 863-6648.

Champlain Valley Exposition, Essex Junction, 8 p.m. $23-35. Info, 878-5545.

kids STORY TIME: Kids three and up listen to literature read aloud. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 11 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216. FAMILY DAY CAMP: Sponsored by the Sheldon Museum, this “fami ly fun day” includes organized hikes for kids and adults bound for spots with scenic vistas and cool names like Moosalamoo and the Falls o f Lana. Camp Keewaydin, Lake Dunmore, 10 a.m. - 4 p.m. $5. Info,

art FINE ART FLEA MARKET: The visual version o f the “farmers mar ket” offers affordable art in a wide range o f mediums. Alley between Burlington City Hall and the Firehouse Gallery, noon - 4 p.m. Free. Info, 865-7166.

words

388-2117.

BILL COSBY: There isn’t an enter tainment medium he hasn’t tapped, but it’s Bill Cosby’s standup comedy on the basics o f being human that make him one o f America’s most enduring and beloved performers.

sport ‘O PERATIO N STRAIG H T ARROW*: The Vermont Army Guard gives “pointers” a whole new

meaning as they host bow-hunting target practice at two outdoor “engagement” areas. See “to do” list, this issue. Camp Johnson, Colchester, 9 a.m. - 4 p.m. Free. Info, 654-0465. RID IN G T H E RAILS: The Burlington chapter o f the Green Mountain Club hosts a family-ori ented bike trip along the Franklin County rail trail “somewhere between St. Albans and Richford.” Info, 899-4708. JEFF-TO-CAMBRIDGE 5K: Parent-child teams, walking divi sions, kids categories, and family dis counts give everyone a sporting chance to benefit the United Way in this annual road race. Cambridge Elementary School, Jeffersonville, 9:30 a.m. $10. Register, 644-8282.

etc CHAM PLAIN VALLEY FAIR: See

ON THE KING STREET FERRY DOCK

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‘RIVERDANCE’: See September 2, 2 8c 8 p.m. $15-55.

drama ‘GREATER T U N A ’: See September 2, 7 p.m. $12.50. ‘O L D W IC K ED S O N G S ’: See September 3. ‘T H E GLASS M ENAGERIE’: See September 3, 7 p.m. $21. VARIETY S H O W D IN N E R CRUISE: Looking for dinner and diversion? This floating vaudevillian variety show puts Larry, Darryl and Darryl at the helm. Spirit o f Ethan Allen, Burlington Boathouse, 6:30 p.m. $34.95. Info, 862-8300.

words MAC PARKER: The hardest work ing man in the storytelling business tells tales from his rural repertoire at the Round Barn, Waitsfield, 7:30 p.m. $10. Info, 496-7722.

sport ‘O PER ATIO N STR AIG H T ARROW”: See September 5. MT. N O R R IS HIKE: The Burlington chapter o f the Green Mountain Club hosts a five-mile hike up Mt. Norris, in Eden, with great views. Meet at UVM Visitor Lot, Burlington, 8 a.m.. Free. Info, 863-1145.

continued on next page

AND M o n treal ' s

DANCE

CLUB

hottest d a n c e clu b south of th e bo rd er

Lakeshore D rive, Ma lleu s Bay - A cross from the fishing access

MON-

NFL Night open at 7 pm Free Food 10TVs, 65in Big Screen $ 1 P nts

S a tu rd a y

SA $2.00 Bud, Bud Light, Molson, Honey Brown

50 cent D rafts , 25 F ree P ool

WED-

Buzz Bash with live Buzz DJs FREE GIVEAW AYS Free W ings 4-7 No Cover wtth College ID

Sunday - Thursday

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night ) $1.00 shots T o p 80 s D a n ce A ll -R equest Musk A mateur M ale B o d y B uilding $100 C ash P rize

$1 Bud & Bud Lights

862.1364

889-3474. M AD RIVER VALLEY CRAFT FAIR: For nearly three decades arti sans from the N ew England region have amassed at this scenic locale. This year’s event includes more than 100 juried presenters, food, live music, kids activities, and a personal shopping service. Kenyon’s Field, Rt. 100, Waitsfield, 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. $2. Info, 496-4420. GARLIC & HERB FESTIVAL: Garlic ice cream? Weeds... useful? The festival sways skeptics with garliccentered food, crafts and cooking demonstrations. See “to do” list, this issue. Local Flavor Farmstand, Rt. 100, W ilmington, 10 a.m. - 6 p.m. $2. Info, 368-7147. BREWERS FESTIVAL: Microbrew fans can enjoy it in a macro way at this two-day festival featuring more than 60 beers from 20-odd nation wide breweries, two live bands daily and cigars. Mt. Snow, noon - 7 p.m. $10. Info, 800-245-7669. TAG SALE: Feel good about that random purchase o f second-hand furniture or sporting goods — pro ceeds from this sale benefit programs at the College St. Congregational Church, Burlington, 9 a.m. - 1 p.m. Free. Info, 864-7704. TERM INAL ILLNESS SU PPO RT GROUP: Caregivers o f people who are terminally ill and others coping with death convene at the Vermont Respite House, 25 Prim Rd., Colchester, 9-10:30 a.m. Free. Info, 434-4159. FARMERS MARKETS: Look for Vermont-grown agricultural products and crafts on the green at Burlington City Hall Park, 8:30 a.m. - 2:30 p.m. Info, 453-2435. Or in Montpelier, Corner o f Elm and State Streets, 9 a.m. - 1 p.m. Info, 426-3800. Or in Waitsfield, Mad River Green, Rt. 100, 9:30 a.m. 1:30 p.m. Info, 496-5856.

FR $4.00 20 oz. Guiness, Harp, Newcastle

N o . 1 B re w p u b Dotjbite Bitter Burly !r*k Ale Vermoht Stroke*/ po rter duihheft ~ ah*/ Keller Bier Lacjer Gram/Slam Baseball Beer Spuyter Duyvil Bombay Grab I-P-AW e e Heavy <£■ 2 Cask'CW itiore*/ Ales

Sunday, September 6

music N E W W O R L D FESTIVAL: AH o f downtown Randolph’s a stage for a festival o f music, dance, food and crafts in the Celtic and FrenchCanadian tradition. See “to do” list, this issue. Main St., Randolph, noon - midnight. $16. Info, 728-9133. JUNKJAM ‘98: Composer Donald Knaack, a.k.a. Junkman, hosts a percuss-fest using instruments con structed solely from materials dis carded by the Stratton Mountain Resort. See “to do” list, this issue. Stratton Mountain, 7:30 p.m. $12. Info, 297-4137.

(Swamp rock)

ftam e l/o b f

P e /i/u f, N u n n

T H $3.50 Black &Tans

(Latin jazz/r&b)

Saturday, September 5

Sunday

M $ 1.00 Honey Brown Pints

W $2.50 VT. Microbrews

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September 2. H ISTO R IC R U TLAND TOUR: See September 4. V T STATE FAIR: See September 4. FRED FEST: Bring a “Fred” fight song to this nickel-a-plate fundrais ing dinner for the Tuttle for U.S. Senate Campaign. Dogs — and flatlanders — are welcome. See calendar caption, this issue. Tuttle Farm, Tunbridge, 1-5 p.m. Free. Info,

95XXX Extreme DANCE PARTY til 3AM 18 and up

O pen

SUN-

Extreme K arao ke N ight $50 C ash P rize 15 cent W ings

8 6 4 -8 332 Extreme kitchen ' s open daily w / u g h t fare

W ed n esd ay - Satu rday

are 18+ FREE BANQUET FA CILITIES- BOOKING A LL TYPES OF PARTIES ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS FOR A LL EM PLOYMENT NOW. APPLY IN PERSON.

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Cabaret mixes murder and mostaccioli at Villa Tragara, Waterbury Center, 6:15 p.m. $38. Info, 2 4 4 -5 2 8 8 .'

etc mAd

r iv e r v a l l e y c r a f t

FAIR: See September 5, 10 a.m. - 4

words

p.m.. CH AM PLAIN VALLEY FAIR: See September 2. Catch the demo derby

M INIM A L PRESS COLLECTIVE: Following an open reading, discus sion will turn toward the Collective’s recendy installed literary vending service and worldwide guerrilla poet ry attacks. Rhombus Gallery, 186 College St., Burlington, 8 p.m. Free. Info, 865-3144. EM ERSO N LECTURE: Wesleyan professor Gertrude Reif shares her read on Ralph Waldo in “Seeing Nature Through Emerson’s Eyes.” Farrell Room, St. Edmunds Hall, St. Michael’s College, 4 p.m. Free. Info,

at 7 p.m. for $7. V T STATE FAIR: See September 4. The creative car crashing starts at 7:30 p.m. for $12. FULL M O O N RITUAL: Bring food and a cushion to this pagan poduck celebration o f the full moon. Unitarian Universalist Society, Burlington, 152 Pearl St., Burlington, 6 p.m. Donations. Info, 658-9689. FARMERS MARKET: It’s harvest time. Buying fresh local produce, chickens and home-baked goods supports farmers in Vermont. Town Com m on, Westford, 11:30 a.m. - 3 p.m. Free. Info, 878-5639.

654-2439.

sport O PE N FENCING: Amateur fencers make their point for fitness. Bridge School, Middlebury, 7:30-9 p.m. $3. Info, 878-2902. M O U N T A IN BIKE RACING: Competitive cyclists wend their ways along maple trails in 5K, 10K, and 15K races throughout the summer. Palmer’s Sugarhouse, Shelburne, 6:30 p.m. Info, 985-5054.

mo n d a y

l a b o r

d a y

music

etc

O PE N REHEARSAL: Women compare notes at a harmonious rehearsal o f the Champlain Echoes. S. Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info,

CHAM PLAIN VALLEY FAIR: See September 2. The Grand National tractor and truck pull rips up the

864-6703.

Grandstand at 1 p.m. for $11. V T STATE FAIR: See September 4. Catch a real-live rodeo at 7:30 p.m.,

drama ‘BIG N IG H T , LITTLE M U R D ER ’: You get mystery with your meal at a dinner theater production hosted by Ye O lde England Inne, Stowe, 6 p.m. $38. Info, 253-7558. ‘M U R D E R AL D E N T E ’: Death is a

$7. BATTERED W O M E N ’S SU P PORT GROUPS: Women Helping Battered Women facilitates a group in Burlington, 6:30-8 p.m. Free. Info, 658-1996. Also, the Shelter

drama

etc

223-0855. TEEN HEALTH CLINIC: Teens get information, supplies, screening and treatment for sexually related problems. Planned Parenthood, Burlington, 3:30-6 p.m. Pregnancy testing is free. Info, 863-6326. RUMMAGE SALE: Look for deals on clothes, household items and toys at a weekly yard sale. Ohavi Zedek Synagogue, North Prospect St., Burlington, 10 a.m. - 1 p.m. Free.

‘O LD W ICKED SO N G S’: See September 3. ‘T H E GLASS MENAGERIE’: See September 3, $21. ‘GODSPELL’ AU D ITIO N S: The Essex Community Players are look ing for spirited performers for their fall production o f GodspelL Present yourself at Memorial Hall, Essex Center, 7 - 1 0 p.m. Info, 864-4872.

H ISTO R IC R U T L A N D TO UR: See September 4. V T STATE FAIR: See September 4. Get a few drivers miseducation tips from Joey Chitwood’s Daredevils.

Info, 862-2311. LABOR DAY PARADE: Workers unite in celebration o f human indus try on the green across from Norwich University, Northfield, 9:30 a.m. - noon. Free. Info, 223-

W RITERS’ GROUP: Writers work with words at Dubie’s Cafe, Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 865-9257. SCRIPTURE SERIES: St. Michael’s College and the St. John Vianney parish cohost a scriptural study series focusing on the gospel o f Mark. St. John Vianney Parish Hall, 160 Hinesburg Rd., S. Burlington, 7:309 p.m. $5. Register, 654-2344.

Committee facilitates a meeting in Montpelier, 5:30-7 p.m. Free. Info,

5229. EM O TIO N S AN O N YM O U S: People with emotional problems meet at the O ’Brien Center, S. Burlington, 7:30 p.m. Donations. Info, 660-9036.

words

music VOCAL A U DITIO N S: Musica Femina is seeking female vocalists with prior choral experience to join an ensemble devoted to eclectic fare. UVM Recital Hall, Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 656-7770. Y O U T H ORCHESTRA A U D I TIO N S: The Lakes Region Youth Orchestra is seeking high-school age wind and percussion players for clas sical concerts throughout the year. Younger musicians may also be con sidered. Castleton State College Fine Arts Center, 6 p.m. Info, 468-1227.

kids ‘M USIC W IT H ROBERT RESNIK’: See September 4. STORY TIME: Kids under three listen in at the S. Burlington Library, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 652-7080. STORY H O U R: Kids between three and five engage in artful educational activities. Milton Public Library, 10:30 a.m. & 1 p.m. Free. Info, 893-4644.

sport X-C R U N N IN G RACES: Cross country runners take to the woods every Tuesday evening at the Outdoor Experience at Catamount, Williston, 6 p.m. $3. Info, 879-6001.

7:30 p.m. $5. SAT A N D PSAT ORIENTATION: Students and parents learn about test-taking strategies at this informa tional session hosted by Kaplan Educational Centers. Winooski Kaplan Center, 20 West Canal St., 7-8:30 p.m. Free. Reservations, 800-527-8378. O L D N O R T H E N D FARMERS MARKET: Shop for local organic produce and fresh baked goods on the triangle in front o f the H .O . Wheeler School, Burlington, 3:306:30 p.m. Free. Info, 863-6248. FREE LEGAL CLINIC: Attorney Sandy Baird offers free legal advice to women with questions about fam ily law, housing difficulties and wel fare problems. Room 14, Burlington City Hall, 3-5 p.m. Free. Info, 865-7200. BATTERED W O M E N ’S SU P PORT GROUP: Meet in Barre, 10:30 a.m. - noon. Free. Info, 223-0855.

Wednesday

drama ‘GODSPELL’ AU D ITIO N S: See September 8. ‘O LD W IC K ED S O N G S’: See September 3, 2 & 8 p.m. ‘T H E GLASS MENAGERIE’: See September 3, 3 p.m. $24. ‘T H E FR O N T PAGE’: This fasts

8 p.m. Friday, Sept. 11

ts j

$ 5 g e n e r a l a d m is s io n

Chesapeake

Folklore Productions, in association with Rigel Instruments, and JS C presents this newly formed "super group" Tight vocal harmonies, dazzling instrumental virtuosity and soulful lead singing make this ensemble a compelling musical force that moves beyond bluegrass.

C o m in g : Sept. 17, 7 p.m.

lArlo Guthrie C all 802-635-1386

OCTOBER 1

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Sanford Sylvan, baritone David Breitman, piano

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paced comedy by two former news paper men features the requisite fasttalking reporters and dim-bulb cops. But here’s the hook: H ildy Johnson’s last big story conflicts with his impending nuptials. Talk about deadline pressure. Briggs Opera House, W hite River Junction, 8 p.m. $10. Info, 296-7000.

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L U N C H T IM E LECTURE SERIES: Professor Peter Hanna offers “One Foresters Perspective” in a midday lecture at the Fleming Museum, UV M , Burlington, 12:15 p.m. $3. Info, 656-0750. ‘A N IG H T W IT H CH RIS B O H JALIAN’: The Lincoln author o f Midwives reads from his soon-to-bepublished Law o f Similars. Barnes & Noble, S. Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 864-8001. BO O K D ISC U SS IO N SERIES: Readers ponder the notion o f honor as it plays out in A Dry, White Season, Andre Brinks tale o f trou bled South Africa. South Hero Com m unity Library, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 372-4734.

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etc BATTERED W O M E N ’S SU P PO R T GROUPS: See September 2. SAT A N D PSAT ORIENTATION: See September 8. Middlebury High School, 7-8:30 p.m. Free. Reservations, 800-527-8378. V T STATE FAIR: See September 4. Get in a retro-music mood with the M ahoney Brothers and a backdrop o f vintage autos from the Rutland Area Vehicle Enthusiasts, 7:30 p.m. VO LU N TEER O PE N HOUSE: Outright Vermont invites the public to tour its facilities, enjoy refresh ments, and meet staff and openminded volunteers. Outright Vermont, Burlington, 6:30-9 p.m. Free. Info, 800-452-2428. ‘GRADUATE SC H O O LS’: First you’ve got to get in, then you’ve got to pay for it. The Vermont Student Assistance Corporation leads the way to wisdom — and student loans — in this workshop. VSAC, Champlain Mill, Winooski, 5-6 p.m. Free. Register, 655-9602r. U N IT E D WAY KICKOFF: A spin on the antique carousel puts you in a giving mood. Catch folk tunes from Pete Sutherland and refresh ments at the Shelburne Museum, 46 p.m. $6. Reservations, 864-7541. A T T E N T IO N DEFICIT D ISC U S SION: A panel o f physicians stays focused on a discussion o f attention deficit hyperactive disorder. Frederick Tuttle Middle School, 6:30 - 8:30 p.m. Free. Info, 651-7615. C O M PU T E R M EETING: Gail Murphy leads the “Wired Women Mac Users” into the brave new world at Barnes & Noble Bookstore, S. Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 864-8001.

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hanterelles, king boletes, hen-of-the-woods, shaggy manes. For the initiated, these names speak o f free gourm et treats from the forests o f Vermont, and inspire visions o f delectable mushrooms gently saut^eing in butter. And there’s no bet ter time than the weeks ahead. W hen it comes to h u n t ing, identifying and eating wild mushrooms, people pret ty m uch fall into one o f three camps. T he first are those who would never, ever take a chance. T he second, those who are curious, and rightful ly nervous, but aren’t sure how to go about it. T hird are the ones who go out with experi ence and a clear understand ing o f how to identify, and therefore gather, their tasty

takes place...then pain recurs, with liver dysfunction, jaun dice, renal failure, convul sions, coma, and often death.” Bummer. Amateurs and experts alike agree — there is no room for being 98 or 99 percent sure o f a m ushroom’s identity. Positive identification requires more than just matching a picture in a guidebook. Some key considerations are what the m ushroom is growing on — rotted logs versus dirt — whether it is a young or old mushroom, and the potential o f “look-alikes.” O ne im portant way to substantiate a mushroom’s species is to do a spore print. Since the cap of the mush room releases spores, which can be thought o f as the “seeds” for new mushrooms, the way in which they drop

spring and rainy summer. While the spring morels were less plentiful than normal in some areas, the chanterelles have been described as a “bumper crop” this year. Some other varieties are two weeks to two months ahead of schedule. One o f the best ways to gain some first-hand knowl edge is to hang out with expe rienced mushroomers. I spoke with two folks who have recently joined the Vermont Mycological Association. One member described the make up o f the group as “everything from enthusiasts to fanatics.” They go out for two or three hours every other Sunday to different parts o f the state on “forays,” collect whatever they

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harvests. It’s an im portant fact that there are severe penalties for eating the wrong m ushroom. The Audubon Society Field Guide to Mushrooms lists the symptoms o f mistakenly eat ing a member o f the Amanita species as “...abdom inal pains, nausea, vomiting and diarrhea...a short remission

It's an impor tant fact that there are severe penal ties for eating the wrong mushroom. September

2 , 1998

from the cap creates a distinc tive pattern. By allowing the spores to fall on a sheet o f paper overnight, the resulting unique “print” can be com pared for identification pur poses. Many people don’t realize that the m ushroom is just the “fruit” o f a fungus. The vege tative part is called the “mycelium” and can cover an extensive underground area. W hen temperature and hum idity are just right, the mushrooms appear. Many cul tures have associated m ush rooms with woodland spirits, because the fruits may appear in a very brief period o f time, and are around for only a few days before decomposing. In short, timing is everything. This year has been wacky in terms o f the progression and availability o f mushroom species, due to the warm

come across, and then pro ceed with identification. The 20-some members take turns guiding participants to their favorite spots, or to new areas that they hope are rich in fungi. Tad Dippel has led walks for the Audubon Nature Center in Huntington. A middle-school science teacher in Williston, he says he’s inspired by the “astounding beauty” o f mushrooms. Indeed, virtually every color o f the rainbow can be found, with the exception o f green, since mushrooms have no chlorophyll and therefore can not make their own food. Dippel is also very keen on the vital role that fungi play in the forest ecology — knowledge he shares with his students. Continued on next page

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Dave Kaczynski, an iron worker in Waterbury, became an amateur mycologist a cou ple o f years ago and has explored the areas around his worksites throughout New England. He also goes out mushrooming with his kids, and last year they found 10 of the choice “hen-in-thewoods” variety. While that was a respectable haul, Kaczynski notes that he heard o f a record specimen found near Plattsburgh last year weighing an astonishing 74 pounds. The spokesperson for the Vermont Mycological Association is Robert Resnik, also the host o f Vermont Public Radio’s Sunday folk show, “All the Traditions,” and a reference librar:an at Fletcher Free Library in Burlington. Roz Payne is the organization’s president and an experienced amateur mycologist. She will lead a mushroom walk at the H untington Audubon Center in September, and offers a comprehensive two-day work shop through Burlington College. Then there are the profes sionals. One such person is

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vesting from the wild, Kim says that it’s im portant to twist the mushroom off at its base, as opposed to cutting it off, and then resealing the spot with dirt to preserve the underlying mycelium. She also never picks a patch clean, saving some for those who may come later. If you have an experienced guide, an understanding of mycological mysteries and an “If you don’t know it, don’t eat it” attitude, then m ush room hunting is another great way to enjoy the bounty of Vermont’s natural landscape. Besides, with portabellos run ning at $2.99 a pound, it’s not a bad deal, either. Nova Kim will lead a Fall Mushroom Walk at the Vermont Institute o f Natural Science in Montpelier, September 19, 10 a. m. - 4 p.m., $25. Info, 229-6206. For info about her wildcrafting classes, check her Web site at www. wildorganic. com. Roz Payne will lead a walk at the Audubon Nature Center in Huntington on September 26, 10 a. m. - noon, $5. Info, 434-3068.

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Nova Kim, who lives near Glover and travels the entire state to collect mushrooms, edible greens and herbs for her wildcrafting business. She is the exclusive supplier of wild mushrooms to the New England Culinary Institute, and in a typical week will col lect, process and deliver over 50 pounds o f ’shrooms. In a given year her haul may exceed 4000 pounds. Kim, who has strong con victions about the medicinal properties o f mushrooms and other wild foods, collects about 135 types o f m ush rooms for edible and medici nal purposes. “Before there were organic’ foods,” she says, “there were only wild foods.” She has established an educational center to teach ways to use and respect wild edibles. Though she charges for her comestibles, she teach es for free. Kim notes with irony that the archetypal mushroom illustration so often used in children’s books and other media is that of the fly agaric. While its colorful red cap speckled with white bumps and white stalk gives it the classic “toadstool” shape, it is both hallucinogenic and extremely poisonous. Stressing the ethics o f har

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VIRTUAL ED? By J o r d a n Y o u n g and M a r g a r e t L e v i n e Young great debate rages over the value o f computers in the elementary school class room. At one extreme are peo ple who say that because com puters have become so perva sive, a classroom w ithout com puters fundamentally short changes its students, making it worth sacrificing almost any other resource to get kids com fortable with computers. At the other extreme are people who say that computers in the classroom are just the latest technological fad and that they aren’t educational at all. We won’t surprise anyone when we say that the truth lies somewhere in between. T he trick, o f course, is deciding where in between. For the last 50 years, every innovation in com m unications technology has been hailed as breakthrough technology for education, including m otion pictures, radio, television and now computers. Teachers, administrators and principals have been thinking about com puter technology in the class room for the last 25 years. We’ll even plead guilty on that count: O ne o f us — Jordan — was one o f a handful o f people who talked his high-school into getting its own com puter in 1970. W hat did $12,000 buy in a high-school com puter in 1970? A PD P-8/e with 12K bytes. T h at’s K for thousand, not MB for millions. A typewriter attached, and the high-tech option: a magnetic tape that held less than the floppy-disk drive on your PC. How m uch educational value did we get

ISN’T IT TIME YOU OPENED ANOTHER DOOR TO THE FUTURE?

out o f this? H ard to say. Those o f us who went on to be com puter types did well by it. And the dozens o f other students who left high school in the 1970s thinking that computers weren’t that exotic are better consumers of com puter tech nology now than they would be otherwise. But if getting a com puter had meant losing a music class or an extracurricu lar activity, would the trade-off have been worth it? Probably not. Com puters in the schools really became institutionalized in the early 1980s, when Apple C om puter realized that their product was cheap enough to be installed in every classroom, and that familiarizing people early on with Apple products m ight lead them to buy that brand for their personal and business use later on. Apple computers became the de facto standard for primary educa tion, and in many cases con tinue to be the standard, even though they have only about 4 percent o f the commercial market. Industry and education groups got behind computers in the classroom — and, more recently, classroom computers on the Internet and World W ide Web — culminating with President Clinton’s appointm ent o f a commission to create “A Report to the N ation on Technology and Education” (on-line at www.ed.gov/Technology/Plan/ NatTechPlan/index.html). One plan to get local schools wired up for Internet access calls for local volunteers to donate the labor, and in some cases the equipm ent, necessary to get schools on-line. This effort started in 1996 in California

and has since gone nationwide (www.netday2000.com/). So why isn’t everything rosy regarding computers in educa tion? Todd Oppenheim er’s j

seven months, they were no longer able to answer openended questions, and showed a markedly diminished ability to brainstorm with flu ency and originality. This critique hit near to our hearts, since Reader Rabbit is a real favorite among the younger set in our household. O n the other hand, the program isn’t the main way our kids are learning to read, and they’re certainly not using it as much as they would if it were part o f a curriculum. Even when programs don’t interfere with learning,

,WEBWIS E

July 1997 article in Atlantic Monthly takes a hard and not very sympathetic look this issue. He starts with horror stories about schools gutting other programs to pay for computers. Then he looks at whether computers have real educational value for kids. The answer seems equivo cal. Kids get very engaged in activities that involve using computers, and for kids who arent engaged im j school that can be a § very good thing. Once they’re engaged, however, it’s ques tionable whether they’re acquiring useful skills. - “Reading programs get par ticularly bad reviews,” writes Oppenheimer. “O ne small but carefully controlled study went so far as to claim that Reader Rabbit, a reading program now used in more than 100,000 schools, caused students to suf fer a 50 percent drop in cre ativity.” Apparently, after 49 students used the program for

teachers and our observation o f computers in elementary schools confirm the real limita tions o f how useful computers are there. We’ve seen kids using computers in the classroom to fill in shapes and color pic tures, and to drill on spelling and math. And while they’re getting comfortable using the com puter — something we think is useful — the educa tional effect isn’t stunning. Instead it’s just the effect o f another good learning tool when used as part o f a good program. Com puter-based drills can be extraordinarily useful in

One might argue that learning

it should be part of the school curriculum. Oppenheim er is skeptical as to whether they’re teaching kids about their subject matter, or whether they’re teaching “gam ing” skills — how to beat the system. O ne m ight argue that learning to beat the system is an im portant skill in today’s world, but we’re not sure it should be part o f the school curriculum. O ur conversations with

some situations. We know o f one student w ith plenty o f aptitude and little interest who found this a good way to learn m ath skills. He could progress at his own pace, and the way his program was structured, he knew he’d be working on it until he got to the skill level he needed. It was his choice whether to work more quickly C o n tin u ed on page 3 6

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September ’- v •;

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1998

email:

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14-2

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The

UNIVERSITY of VERMONT

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S E V E N DA Y S

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page .31

AN AESTHETIC OF OPPOSITES' Bv

Kevin

Kelley

ablo Picassos description o f Alberto Giacometti as “the greatest sculptor o f the 20th century” serves as the subtitle o f the Giacometti ret rospective currently showing at Montreal’s Museum o f Fine Arts. Curated by Fondation Maeght director Jean-Louis Prat, this rewarding and revealing exhibit goes far toward substantiating Picasso’s claim. On display are 73 sculp tures and about 90 drawings, prints and paintings encom passing all phases o f the artist’s career. Many come from the Fondation Maeght in France, the leading repository o f works collected during Giacomettis lifetime (1901-

66). It’s a well-presented exhib it, arranged to give the sculp tures the breathing room they require for maximum visual impact. The layout also makes

clear that the sculptures are intended to be the stars o f this particular show, even though they’re outnumbered by works on paper or canvas. Such an ordering o f priori ties is perhaps inevitable, given Giacometti’s primary associa tion with his long, thin figures cast in bronze. Still, the decid edly secondary role assigned to the paintings and drawings — often hung side-by-side-byside with no breathing room — does blunt Prat’s own point that “Giacometti was one o f those rare sculptors who suc ceeded as a painter. He searched for the same things in painting and sculpture.” On the evidence o f a few o f the images included in the show, Giacometti also found in his painting what he is bet ter known for having discov ered in his sculpture. In addition to paying homage to the artist’s undeni able genius, the show reveals some problematic aspects o f Giacometti’s art, especially its tendency toward sexual stereotyping. A couple of pieces border on outright misogyny, although “Woman with Her Throat Cut,” his most notorious female repre sentation, is not part o f the Montreal exhibit. Giacometti suffered from sexual dysfunc tion, and his frustration and torment are apparent in a number o f his later depictions o f women. Hackneyed sexual symbolism is prevalent in earlier works, with spoon shapes and open ovals standing for women, while spears and columns are meant to represent men. And among the show’s many nudes, there’s hardly a penis in sight. Laid bare as well is Giacometti’s heavy debt to African and Oceanic art. Having spent most o f his

career in Paris, it would be surprising if he had not at some point come under the sway o f “primitivism,” which remained au courant into the ’20s and ’30s. What’s note worthy, though, is the degree to which Giacometti’s signa ture style evolved from African sculpture’s abstracted render ings o f the human body. The show likewise delin eates the influence of Surrealism on the young artist. It’s most apparent in “The Table,” a sculpture from 1933 in which a disembodied hand lies near a haunted, partly veiled face that floats above a spindly-legged surface. Giacometti’s break with the Surrealists a couple o f years later might strike some view ers as a bit ironic in that “The Table” ranks as one o f the strongest pieces in the entire show. But Giacometti’s creden tials as the century’s greatest sculptor do reside in his tran scendence not only o f Surrealism and primitivism but o f all other artistic move ments o f his era. By the time the Nazis occupied Paris, he was giving form to a vision uniquely his own. The attenuated, solitary figures he created during the last three decades o f his life are truly emblematic o f this now-fading century. It is easy — and not at all inappropriate — to regard such pieces as having been inspired by pho tographs o f concentration camp inmates. And today we are immediately reminded o f Giacometti’s painfully frail frames when we see shots of famished Sudanese. The artist was aiming, however, at less literal, more universal meanings. A quintes sential Giacometti sculpture expresses existential dread and the loneliness o f the human condition. Those stricken, stick-like forms are also intended to represent survivors o f all types o f suffering, espe cially the emotional and psy chological varieties. In assessing Giacometti’s art, emphasis should be placed on that “survivor” attribute. As critic Valerie Fletcher observes in an essay included in the exhibition’s catalogue, “he would create many com positions that reverberate with angst, tension and uncertainty, yet also possess power, dignity and grandeur — an aesthetic o f opposites.” (7)

“AT berto Gi acometti ," sculp t ur es , paint i ng s, pri nt s and drawings. Montreal M u s e u m of Fine Arts. T hr o u g h O c t o b e r 18.

sEvrirws"

LIS TING S

OPENINGS T IL E S FOR THE WALL, TABLE AND GARDEN, an exhibit of modern tile work. Vermont Clay Studio, Waterbury Center, 2441126. Reception September 4, 4:30-6:30 p.m., followed by a demon stration by Vermont tilemaker Lisa Winkler. GALLERY WALK, a walking tour of over a dozen art sites in Montpelier. September 4, 5-7 p.m. LINDA HEATON, demonstrating polymer clay techniques. Artisans’ Hand, Montpelier, 223-4948. September 4, 5-7 p.m. ENTROPY IN THE NEST: Photographs by Matthew Thorsen. City Hall Showcases, Montpelier, 229-2766. Reception September 4, 5-7 p.m. SUMMER LANDSCAPES, pastels byjeneane Lunn. Phoenix Rising, Montpelier, 229-0522. Reception September 4, 5-7 p.m. FIR ST FRIDAY, featuring a free trolley linking six art galleries in Burlington, 865-7165. September 4, 5:30-8 p.m. THE STRUCTURE OF FEELING, featuring paintings by Susan Osmond and Maureen O ’Connor. Doll-Anstadt Gallery, Burlington, 864-3661. Reception September 4, 6-8 p.m. FIF T Y YEARS OF PA I NT I NG, a retrospective by Beth Huard. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 863-3403. Reception September 4, 1-4 p.m. THE HAY PRO J ECT, drawings, photographs and objects from the outdoor exhibit at Shelburne Farms. Francis Colburn Gallery, UVM, Burlington, 656-2014. Reception September 8, 5-7 p.m.

HRUrdMASTERP I ECE, Recent Paintings & Drawings. McCarthy Arts Center, Saint Michaels College, Colchester, 862-3779. September 7 - October 5. P O LITIC A L PICTURES: Confrontation and Commemoration i; Recent Art, an exhibit of international artists who address social anc political circumstances in their work. Fleming Museum, Burlington, 656-0750. September 8 - December 13. A WORD, black-and-white photographs by Beth Whitney. Middlebury Coffee House, 388-8204. Through September. NORTHERN VERMONT A R TIST ASSOCIATION,, a group show sho and sale by members in mixed media. Old Red Mill Gallery, Jericho, Jerichc 899-1106. September 5 - October 30. MAEA BRANDT, recent works. Rhombus Gallery, Burlington, 865A TASTE OF ALPHABET SOUP, paintings with images of the same letter by Elizabeth Bunsen. Borders Cafe, Burlington, 8655079. Through September. DRAWINGS, miniature watercolors by Cuban artist Federico Rodriguez. McAuley Fine Arts Center Lobby, Trinity College, Burlington, 846-7195. Through October 16. BEADS AND MORE BEADS,, an exhibit from the permanent colcol clothlection showing how European glass beads have been used in cloth ing, containers and more. Fleming Museum, Burlington, 656-0750. Through December. ALISON GOODWIN,, Recent Paintings and Serigraphs. Furchgott Sourdiffe Gallery, Shelburne, 985-3848. September 5 - October 15. ART WORKS 1, artwork in mixed media by staff and clients in propro grams of the Howard Center for Human Services. Mayors Office & of City Hall, Burlington, 651-7043. Through September. N INCA WEAVERS, photographs by David Van : -Learning, University of Vermont, iber 8 - October 1. oth-Plate Photographs by Carleton E.

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HARBOR, the 13th annual art mont artists in a 10-day resident errisburgh, 475-2311. Through featuring an exhibit of paintings, tsfield, 496-5055. Through September

LIN ES OF ENQUIRY, British Prints from the David Lemon Collection. Examples of British printmaking 1820-1955. Montreal Museum of Fine Arts, 514-285-1600. Through October 25.’ case THE STRATEGY BEHIND TODAY'S BRANDS,, featuring featuringcas studies in contemporary marketing, by Shark Communications. Chittenden Bank, main branch, Burlington, 658-5440. Through

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form Porter, OPENING THIS BOOK, artwork in mixed med 6948 Jh HS b THE TIME OF THE NAB IS . the first North, tive art and playbills by the artists who made up tl Museum of Fine Arts, 514-285-1600. Through N FRANCIS fc. drawings,

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WALTER BLODGETT 7116. Through Sepremt OUTSIDE IN:Woven , >on, and ERIC AHO: The Qualities of Heaven & Earth, new paintings. T.W. Wo y, Montpelier, 828-8743. Through October 4. MAXI ME LAMOUR, rec ;. Rhombus Gallery, Burlington, 865-3144. Through September 6. ELDER ART, a group of senior citizens exhibit works in mixed media. Underhill Town Hall, 658-7454. Through September 3. SURROUNDING WATERS, new paintings by Katharine Montstream. Frog Hollow, Burlington 863-6458. Through September 7. CORPOREALITIES, sculpture, video and installations by Albanie Noel, Ana Rewakowicz, William Stancil and Jonathan Walsh. Exquisite Corpse Artsite, Burlington, 864-5884, ext. 121. Through September 1L HEAT WAVE, acrylic paintings by Dorothy Martinez. Uncommon Grounds CoflPeeshop, Burlington, 8781761. Through September 13. PRINTEO IMAGES, aching;, allographs and watercoiors by Sheila McGowan. Finale, S. Burlington, 658-8823. Through September 12. PORTRAITS OF TREES, Selections 1991-1998, black-and-white silver-gelarin photographs of trees from around the country, by Tom Zetterstrom. Fleming Museum, Burlington, 656-0750* Through September 27. EXPOSED! 1998, an annual outdoor sculp ture exhibit featuring the works of 12 artists in mixed media. Helen Day Art Center, Stowe, 253-8358. Through J October 17. URSULA VON RYDINGSVARD: Sculpture. Hood Museum of Art, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 603- |tf 646-2808, Through October 4. THE HAY PROJECT, a convergence of art, FLOWER POWER It must be tempting to sit in one environment and agri o f those pastel Adirondack chairs and do nothing, but artists culture, celebrating the Vermont land invited to spend a couple o f nights at Basin Harbor are scape. Shelburne Farms, Shelburne, expected to produce — artwork. The unique summer arts 985-8686. Through October 18. POST - PASTORAL: New Images of program sponsored by the Ferrisburgh resort culminates in a the New England Landscape, featuring juried exhibit, “Reflections on Basin Harbor, ” that is the a site-specific installation by Bill visual equivalent o f fragrant. The 13th annual show runs Botzow and 14 other contemporary through September 7. Above, Karen Hardy shows the pic artists in mixed media, Hood Museum ture-perfect results o f her artistic sojourn. of Art, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 603-646-2808. Through September 20. ELLEN HOFFMAN, pencil drawings, and TOM MERWIN, paintings. Merwin Gallery, Castleton, 4682592. Ongoing. SAY THAT WE SAW SPAIN DIE:SpanishExit» at the Middlebury Summer School, featuring man uscripts, books, photos and catalogs. Abemethy Library, Middlebury College, 443-5502. Through September 14. TALBOT M. BREWER & WALKER EVANS: A Family Affair. The famous American documentary photographer shares an exhibit with his brother-in-law, works dating 1928-46. Christian A. Johnson Memorial Gallery, Middlebury College Museum of Art, 443-2069. Through October. ALBERTO GIACOMETTI, sculptures, paintings and drawings by the 20th-century Fondation Maeght and private collections. Montnfal Museum of Fine Arts, 514-285-1600. Through October 18. * * * * * * ~ BREAD ANDIp UpI 23 years of the polt BASKET JREES/BASKET MAKERS, Penobscortribes. Vermont Folklife Ct RELIEF DRAWINGS by Ed O w e. On, SCRAP-BASED A R T % 8g»A F T S ,f

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SEVEN .DAYS'.

p a g e \3

tALkinG believe me, is som ething by which Christopher’s film is not going to benefit. T h e picture has two big prob lems: First, once Phillippe makes it to the other side o f those fabled doors, alm ost nothing o f interest hap pens. Second, what little o f interest was su p p o s e d to have

fairy tale 7 7 Incite 1 2 7 It's opposed 9 2 Dark-red opener 79 Fragrant to starboard winter apple flavoring 3 6 Terrify 12 8 Atelier 94 Dormouse seed 3 7 Spelling or feature 9 5 Good luck Copland 80 Rhett, Scar DOWN present lett, et al. 3 8 Greek 1 Lorenz of 96 Japan philosopher 8 1 Dashboard songdom follower indicators 4 1 Nudge rudely 2 Allege 9 7 Oil-producing 4 3 Long, narrow 8 3 Compass 3 Carnival country point crest attraction 99 Partner of 4 4 Small bay 86 Informal seal 4 Informal substance of agreement 4 5 Dyer's vats language 100 Orange-red 4 7 Baal, et al. d 88 — avis 5 Curved chalcedony , 48 Small fruit 90 Some mustache 10 1 Dangerous sedatives pie 6 Submits, as curve 49 Norse 91 Dark area on a test paper 10 2 Related on Mars legend 7 Certain the mother's 5 1 Edmond 9 3 Poker player's Alaskans side dream O'Brien 8 Caroline, to 10 4 Plucky suspense 9 5 Prepared Eunice quality news release film 9 TV's 10 7 “Witness" 5 3 Drug from 98 Capital of “Major — " sect Niger Indian hemp 10 Comedian 1 1 0 Leverets 5 4 More serene 100 Upperclass Bert 1 1 2 “Bonnie — man 5 7 Hostess with 1 1 Early Greek Clyde" the mostest 10 2 City in the mall? 1 1 3 English moor Ruhr valley 5 9 Public 1 2 Most T 17 Light, warehouse 10 3 Sing like Bing confident buoyant 73 Finery 62 Narrow ship 10 5 Danny's 1 3 Passes wood 76 Sensory daughter channel along 1 1 8 “— vincit structures 64 Before the 10 6 Plant of the 1 4 Second omnia" 7 8 Embellish legume family CIA Hand Rose’s 1 1 9 Musical 8 2 Old World 6 7 Assumes 10 7 Desert wardrobe group sandpiper garments control of 1 5 Informed 12 0 Sinus 84 Sale 69 He played 10 8 Brewer's need 16 Skate genus cavities condition Charlie Chan 10 9 Hip bones 1 7 Baby 1 2 1 Strange 8 5 — In one's carriage 70 Author of 1 1 1 White-tailed bonnet 1 2 2 Light of eagle "Uncle Tom's 1 8 Race tracks Broadway 86 Asian capital Cabin" 1 1 4 Sweet, pulpy info 1 2 3 Baseball city fruit 7 1 French 2 9 Ancient family 8 7 Kitchen military caps 1 1 5 Arboretum 1 2 4 Prepare to chariot gadget attraction 7 2 Dunne or 3 2 Levin and be knighted 89 Boxer's Cara 1 1 6 Arsenic or Gershwin trainer 1 2 5 “— and Monty 7 4 Coin of Iran 3 3 Shade of Deliver” 91 Type of 7 5 Serfs, once 1 1 9 Dance like (movie) difference hemp or Hines 76 One Picasso 3 5 Word in a 1 2 6 Unit of force paper

chief function 5 2 Plowed lands 5 3 Small valise 5 5 Explore an idea 56 Part of a dynamo 5 7 Playwright Connelly 5 8 Curved molding 60 Gambler's concern 6 1 Chemical compound 6 2 Medieval tale in verse 6 3 Deliberately malicious 6 5 Latin connections 66 Hiding place 68 Italian epic poet 70 Enjoy the slopes

ACRO SS 1 Grating to the ear 6 “Cool — Luke" (movie) 10 Fasten with a rope 1 4 Groucho's brother 19 Spanish province 20 Other, to Caesar 2 1 — Fria (river in Arizona) 2 2 Give by decision 2 3 Military fortification 2 4 Exigency 2 5 Bill or pipe starter 26 Fountain nymph 2 7 Drift 2 8 French nobleman 2 9 Made a boo-boo 3 0 Perfume measures 3 1 Sparkles 3 4 Take for granted 3 6 Maple-syrup base 3 9 Sister of Ares 40 Constant practice 4 2 Indulge in a drink 4 3 Narrow inlet 4 6 Prospero's slave 48 Asian weights 50 Yes-man's

Last week's answers on page 39

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wall jam-packed w ith cinem atic

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potential. W hat the w ell-m eaning

Steve Rubell. T h e film m omentarily

but inexperienced young filmmaker

com es to life every tim e Myers oozes

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loonily into a scene, but all too quickly shifts its focus to his under

off. Ryan Phillippe inexplicably stars

lings and the ho-hum dreams o f

here as a working-class kid from N ew

glory that have drawn them to this

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aside. T h e question is no longer

before, with John Travolta, and com

whether one can get into 54, but

parison to S a tu r d a y N ig h t Fever,

rather w hy one w ould want to.

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' SEVER"DAYS

September

1998

P I c tUrEs by R IC K KISO N AK

sr aH oRTs ting s c a l e : pRevlEwS K N O C K O F F JeanClaude Van Damme may have kicked his massive coke habit, but the real question is, can he stop making awful movies? Not quite yet, from what I hear about this hohum Honq Konq-set saga about a couple of guys who decide to kick some international ter rorist butt. Tsui Hark directs. H E N R Y F O O L Hal (Trust) Hartley's award winning new film tells the strange story of a Queens, New York, garbage man whose life is transformed by a mysterious stranger who moves Into his building. Thomas Jay Ryan and James Urbania star. D A N C E W ITH M E Yikes! Dance movie alert! Vanessa Williams and a Latin singer who calls himself Chayanne fall for one another in director Randa Haines' behind-the-scenes look at the world of competi tive ballroom dancing. Honest. Co-starring (Has-been Alert!) Kris Kristofferson.

* —

* * * * * NR = not reviewed

DEAD M AN O N p A M P U S * Tom Everett Scott ( That Thing You Do) and Mark-Paul G d^aarare teamed in

another f|$wlyMfncndiy classic Albert Brooks, Chris Rock, Norm Macdonald, Paul Reubens and other comics provide the voices for a menagerie of wisecrack' ing animals. Betty (Private Parts) Thomas directs. t A R M A G E D D O N ** The forecast for July calls for testosterone. Lots and lots o f testosterone. In advance of noisy,

concoct a scheme for raising their grades.

R E T U R N TO PA R A D ISE (N R ) Vince Vaughn and David Coftjrad co-star with Joaquin Phoenix

■try to stop vnping: out the world. Bruce Willis, Ben Affleck, Will Pattdi and Steve Bu«*rai star.

W HY DO FOOLS F A l LOVE? (N R ) Big- * W ' endary teen doo-wop star Frankie Lyman.* ...........i s, j; H O W S T E U A G ® H E R ^ f e || A B O g ^ A R f M T ^ | * b e liibmcthing about Mary, but therei ' GROOVE BACK nothing about this movie that’s worth Bastttt and Whoopi Goldberg are teamed for th^tcreon adaption d f the If buying a frekerfo see, since almost all 1996 Terry. hldMillan best-seller about ||l h e fUm*s funny stuff is available for free in its p|pjj<£Wk .Ben Sailer plays a on|g§ a woman *rbo falls for a man half her M m e nerd who can’t get over a highf^ ageschool crush on Cameron Diaz. From AIR B U D : : £ O L D E I i ? j p t t \ the folks who brought you D um b anti R e c e iv e r (n r ) ^ ^ * " Cc■ returns frfr the continuing adventu«|f|| | i Dumber. M A D E L IN E (N R ) Frances of eyeryones favorite sportshound. Thu McDormand and Hatty Jones star in time around, the frizzy family fun , . this adaptation of Ludwig Bemelman’s involves the dog’s/otay into footbaS. beloved childrens book about a mis S N A K E fp p ^ R M w M est chievous French schoolgirl. With Nigel from B r il De Palrnlltars Nicolas v ' C a g ^ ^ A d a n r ic p ty cop with just : Hawthorne. G O td U iA * ‘ « ? bat, two hours to figure out who assassinat from what I’ve seen, the $120 ed thc3ecrc**ry o f Defense in die midevent movie a sold-out boxing match. With ‘ ^ of thesuafraer „ , Gao- Sinire and John Head.

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NEW AND IMPROVED 1. SMOOCHING A D00FUS 2. MAJOR CRATER 3. TEENY WEENY WARRIORS 4. PERILOUS PULCHRITUDE 5. ORB 6. NOT SLEEPY IN THE LEAST 7. DISTRICT OF SPIRITS 8. THE GUY THAT WAS INSUFFICIENTLY WISE 9. FRENZIED ENTITIES 10. SOME FLAWLESS SLAUGHTER

For more film fun don't forget to watch "Art Patrol" every Thursday on News Channel 5!

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ALISSA JUVAN ED MILLER CAROL GARNER MARY N0 RTHRUP BEN YOUNG ALEX INRLEY MARIE LAVERDIERE HENRY MARTIN ELLEN STUART DAVE PATRY

Richardson and Lindsav Lohan

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T IT A N IC (N R ) Leonardo DiCaprio, Kate Winslet, Billy Zane and Kathy Bates are among the big names on board James Cameron's monu mental look at modern history's most famous disaster.

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la S T W E e K ’S aN Sw ER S: BUDDY PAULIE THE VAN TWILIGHT KANSAS CITY FALLEN HUSH SUDDENLY U TURN THE BUTCHER BOY SENSELESS WILD THINGS MEN WITH GUNS MADELINE DIRTY WORK BLACK DOG

MRS. BROWN RED CORNER THE JACKAL GOOD BURGER BEAN AMERICAN BUFFALO MEN IN BLACK IN & OUT THAT DARN CAT MOUSE HUNT GREASE LEAVE IT TO BEAVER DARK CITY CANT HARDLY WAIT

DEADLIN E: MONDAY • P R IZ ES : 10 P A IR S OF FREE PASSES PER W EEK PLUS A GIFT CERTIFICATE GOOD FOR $25 WORTH OF NON-ALCOHOLIC FUN AT CARBUR'S

SEND ENTRIES TO: FILM QUIZ PO BOX 68, WILLISTON, VT 05495 BE SURE TO INCLUDE YOUR ADDRESS. PLEASE ALLOW 4-6 WEEKS FOR DELIVERY OF PRIZES. IN TH E E V E N T OF A T I E , W I N N E R S W I L L BE C H O S E N BY A L O T T E R Y

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THE SAVOY Main Street, Montpelier, 229-0509. Henry Fool* 6:30, 9:05 (daily).

ETHAN ALLEN CINEMAS 4 North Avenue, Burlington, 863-6040. 12:15, 2:25, 4:35, 6:45, 8:55. Godzilla 4:15, 9:10. Madeline 12:30, 2:20, 7.

At the following theaters in our area listings not available at press time. Call for info. SUNSET DRIVE-IN Porters Point Rd., Colchester, 862-1800.

CINEMA NINE Shelburne Road, S. Burlington, 864-5610

CAPITOL THEATRE 93 State Street, Montpelier, 229-0343.

Mulan 1, 2:50, 4:40, 6:30, 8:20. Truman Show 12:45, 2:50, 4:50, 6:50, 8:50. Six Days/Seven Nights

Knock Off* 12:20, 2:25, 4:35, 7:25, 10. Small Soldiers 12:05, 2:10, 4:20. Mask of Zorro 9:35. Return to

PARAMOUNT THEATRE 241 North Main Street, Barre, 479-9621.

Paradise 12:40, 3:40, 6:50, 9:50. Studio 54 12:15, 2:20, 4:30, 7:20, 10:05. Snake Eyes 12:10, 2:15, 4:25, 7:15, 9:55. The Parent Trap 12:50, 3:50, 7. Saving Private Ryan 12, 1, 3:30, 4:30, 7, 8. There’s Something About Mary 12:30, 3:20, 6:40, 9:45. Armageddon 6:30, 9:40. Ail shows daily.

STOWE CINEMA Baggy Knees Shopping Center, Stowe, 253-4678.

SHOWCASE CINEMAS 5 Williston Road,S. Burlington,863-4494.

MAD RIVER FLICK Route 100, Waitsfield, 496-4200.

Dance with Me* 12:40, 3:30, 7, 9:25. Why Do Fools Fall in Love 9:10. Dead Man on Campus 12:20,

2:15, 4:20, 7:10, 9:40. Blade 12:30, 3:20, 6:50, 9:30. Air Bud 12:15, 2:15, 4:15. Doctor Dolittle 12:25, 2:25, 4:25. 6:40. Armageddon 6:30, 9:20. All shows Fri. - Mon., evenings Tues. - Thurs.

MARQUIS THEATER Main Street, Middlebury, 388-4841. WELDEN THEATER 104 No. Main Street, St. Albans, 527-7888.

NICKELODEON CINEMAS College Street, Burlington, 863-9515. Studio 54 1:40, 3:40, 5:40, 7:40. 9:40. Smoke Signals 1:10, 3, 4:50, 7, 9. How Stella Got Her Groove Back 1:50, 4:20, 6:50, 9:30. Ever After 1:20, 3:50, 6:30, 9:10. Saving Private Ryan 1, 4:10, 7:30. There’s Something About Mary 1:30, 4, 6:40, 9:20. Ail shows daily.

September

1998

SEVEU.PAYS

page

WEBWISE C o n tin u ed fro m page 31 but less accurately (and repeat the work till he got it right) or work more slowly and get it right the first time. As far as we can tell, Vermont seems to have escaped the blind rush to install computers in the class room at all costs. In 1995, Governor Dean proposed that the states computer network (GovNet) be expanded to provide Internet access to schools and libraries. That effort has been fairly success ful: The GovNet Web site claims that “o f the 350 K-12 schools in Vermont, 268 are currently connected” to the Internet through GovNet (http://www.state.vt.us/govnet/). On the other hand, the goals to which Vermont stu dents are striving do not indi cate a slavish devotion to the idea that more technology is better. They include goals for “Information Technology” under the heading o f “Communications,” but they’re pretty general, includ ing things like the ability to use computers to gather information and ideas, and selecting appropriate tech

nologies to solve problems and communicate with an audience. You can read the “Framework o f Standards &C Learning” yourself at http://www.state.vt. us/educ/st and/page3.htm. These are a fairly realistic set o f goals. At this point, anything more specific is like ly to lock in an approach to technology that is going to be passd in a few years. But ignoring technology entirely is certainly not realistic, and wouldn’t serve our students well. Our take is that it’s important to get students familiar with technology. Computers are so expensive compared to most other teaching tools — books, art supplies and the like — that it’s hard to justify buying lots o f them. But familiarity with computers, and knowing how to treat them as tools, will be important for almost every one by the time our kids graduate from school. (7) I f you've got an opinion about computers in schools, write to us a t MJ7Days@ gurus, com. Looking for hardto-find kids video & audio tapes? Try us a t www. Great Tapes.com.

CRANK CALL

C o ntinued fro m page 6 the word awesome in its origi nal sense: “Expressing or char acterized by an emotion o f mingled reverence, dread and wonder inspired by something majestic or sublime,” which the next little airhead who asks me for a match had better keep in mind. Well, this is what comes from raising an entire genera tion on the theory that they are the only thing that matters — their feelings, their needs, their rights, their demands, their goals, their “dreams” and their flippin’ self-esteem. The children are our future, all right. You’ll soon see, and you’ll be amazed: Barbarism never wore such a contemptu ous face. Hey, how about that cou ple in Texas who want to clone their dog? I’m telling you, it’s true. They don’t want their names known because they don’t want to be hounded by the media — ha ha! — and they’re worried that their beloved “Missy” might become a victim o f stalkers. Missy is described as “a mixedbreed bitch, a border collie with a bit o f huskie thrown in,” and she’s so adorable,

apparently, that her owners have put up $2.2 million dol lars to make copies o f her in perpetuity. Mark Westhusin, a professor o f “Veterinary Physiology” at Texas A&M, has said that “despite its senti mental origin,” the “Missyplicity Project” is “seri ous science.” “There are a number of objectives, and one o f them is to develop technology for cloning dogs,” says Westhusin with a keen grasp o f the obvi ous. Missy now has her own Web site — www.missyplicity.com. I can’t help thinking that $2.2 million could be better spent on something other than stroking the egos o f Missy’s master and mistress, though my uncle in Shelburne has a dog he loves more than life itself, a paraplegic dachs hund who rolls around the floor in diapers (and my aunt is going to take to her bed for good the minute she reads this). O f course $2.2 million isn’t a lot o f money by any contemporary measure. The Grand Inquisitor has already spent $40 million on his semen-search, and the “Today Show”’s Katie Couric gets $7 million a year just to bat her eyes and spew rivers o f drivel

disguised as Tough Questions. All TV journalists ask Tough Questions nowadays, such as, “How did that make you feel?” and “Did you ever imag ine in your wildest dreams how fa r this would goT Thanks to a family calamity, I know a lot more about American journal ism than I used to, and every day I check the AP wire to see what’s going on while Russia collapses and the global econ omy dissolves like so much cyanide in a vat o f Kool-Aid. “Woody Harrelson Dad Seeks New Trial,” I read the other day. “Parents o f Switched Baby Are Dead.” “Lawyers Stage Mock Titanic Trial.” “Bomb Suspect Search Moves to Caves.” “Burning Truck Slams into Courthouse.” “Man Hangs Himself at Concert,” etc., etc. All the rest was ClintonLewinsky: Clinton’s Speech, Clinton’s Lies, Clinton’s Past, Clinton’s Future, and — my favorite — “Public at Odds with Pundits,” an overt lament from the Associated Press that nothing they or anyone can do can get “the American peo ple” to give a good goddamn about it. Touche, say I, and keep up the good work. ®

ARICS (Mar. 21-Apr.

19): If this were a thousand years ago and you were suffering from the same kind of temporary insanity you are right now, I might have recommended that you immerse yourself in a tub of live eels, or use the blood of a chicken to scrawl the word “penitent” on your belly, or mold a statue o f a laughing raven out o f clay. But since, as the second millennium ends, we have a whole new set of superstitions about what improves mental hygiene, I’m duty- bound to say, instead, f i n d a scapegoat, access y o u r inner child, a n d fo llo w y o u r bliss. (Just for fun, though, try these tricks, too: Immerse yourself in a tub o f M &M ’s, scrawl the words “gorgeous genius” on your belly with a felt-tip marker, and mold a statue o f a “South Park” character out o f day glo Play-Doh.)

TAURUS (Apr. 20-May 20): In her column in the San Francisco Chronicle earlier this summer, Leah Garchick reported that one o f her informants had spied a wooden sign in a nascent garden. “Grow, damn it,” it read, as if the little blooming things could be bullied into becoming themselves. As you slip into the heart o f your personal growing season, Taurus, I trust you know that’s exacdy the wrong approach to take. “Grow at your own chosen pace, beautiful,” you should tell yourself, “as leisurely and idiosyncratically as you please.” GCMINI (May 21-June 20): I don’t normally engage in channeling entities from the other side. My feeling is that just because they’re dead doesn’t mean they’re smart. But I had to make an exception this week. It was the only way I could get the spirit o f your greatgrandma off my back. She’s been pestering me to deliver some messages to you. I can’t vouch for their wisdom, but here they are: 1) The old flame you still

p a g 'e • 3 6

can’t forget was definitely not your soul mate. So move on already, okay? 21 Memories from your last lifetime are more accessible now than ever before. 3) You can uncover a moist secret in a moldy box in an attic or basement. 4) Say a prayer for the souls o f your ancestors now and then, will you please? 5) You need to eat more pork chops and apple sauce.

CANCCR (June 21-July 22): It may not be the most important phone call you’ll ever be party to, Cancerian, but it’ll be up there in the top 10. And it’s going to happen this week. At least I hope it does. I’m praying that you won’t stall and waffle so long that you put off the big presto-chango till later. If you do procrastinate, it’ll end up being nothing more than one o f the top 500 phone calls o f your life. Epic transmutation or mediocre legerdemain: The choice is yours. LC0 (July 23-Aug. 22): Right about now, a typical astrology column might suggest that you make a fast buck by leasing your soul to the highest bidder. Or it might direct you to cut your budget deficit by resigning yourself to endless days o f boring sacrifices. Luckily for you, this is not a typical astrology column. I’m as concerned with your spiritual health as your material wealth. I would never tempt you to believe the half-truths above. In their place, I offer this full truth: Money can’t buy happiness, but it may be able to rent happiness while you’re figuring out how to get happiness for free.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Some years from now, when you’re celebrating your

eightieth birthday, maybe you’ll reminisce about how back in September 1998 you wore a killer silk and leather outfit into the lair of the people who thought they had you all figured out. Or perhaps you’ll be telling your grandchildren that this was the moment you took up the trapeze, or made your body more magical, or purposely got lost in the woods as a way to awaken your primitive wisdom.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): You wouldn’t try to cure your hiccups by hurling yourself out a second-story window, right? You wouldn’t use a bazooka to rid your house o f fleas, and you wouldn’t have your friend guillotined for carelessly spreading gossip about you. So why then are you about to throw yourself at the mercy of forces beyond your control just because of an awkward but (in the long run) minor tweak o f fate? Please keep in mind the following two rules this week, sweetheart. 1) Avoid “cures” that are worse than the disease. 2) Don’t punish yourself or allow yourself to be punished for other people’s sins. SCORPIO (Oct.

23-Nov. 21): I prophesy that you will find yourself mysteriously drawn to a Kentucky Fried Chicken outlet, where you will meet a tall man with a tattoo o f Monica Lewinsky’s face on his forearm. He will lead you down an alley to a blonde bag lady whom you saw many years ago in a shampoo commercial on TV, and she’ll hand you a dog-eared copy of Dale Carnegie’s book H o w to W in Friends a n d Influence People. While reading it, you will find a shred of a napkin bearing the phone number o f a mover and shaker

•SEVER :0AYS

who can dramatically boost your access to inside dope. And in the unlikely event none of this actually happens, Scorpios, I still predict you’ll hook up with an electrifying networker or two and figure out how to jack up your popularity to record levels.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): When a pickpocket spies a saint, all he sees is the holy one’s pockets. When a cynic witnesses a miracle, he’s disgusted by the gullibility of the people whose lives have been forever transformed for the better. And what about when a Sagittarius brushes up against a hot opportunity to forge a master plan that will guide her with grace for the next five years? Is she so addicted to relentless spontaneity that she can’t even perceive the majestic opening, and instead scans frantically for an escape route? Or might she be able, for once, to reach for the self-disciplined power she’s been afraid to own? CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): I thought o f you instantly when I read David Foster Wallace’s description of Franz Kafka’s story, “Poseidon,” in Harper's. “Kafka,” Wallace wrote, “imagines a sea-god so overwhelmed with administrative paperwork that he never gets to sail or swim.” This version o f Poseidon should be your anti-role model in the coming weeks, Capricorn. Under no circumstances should you allow your teeming lust for adventure to be hobbled by trivial duties. (Though it’s okay to let it be infused with grandeur by noble responsibilities.) AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb.

18): “Our ancestors,” rhapsodizes Thomas Moore

in The Soul o f Sex, “built temples to eros in realization of our absolute and unforgiving need for enchantment.” I’m asking you, Aquarius, to be inspired by that neglected tradition. Bedeck yourself like a holy prostitute. Erect a shrine in your bedroom dedicated to furthering your education in the arts of sacramental pleasure. Murmur smoldering prayers in your lover’s mouth as you kiss, all the while visualizing him or her as your golden conduit to God.

PISCCS (Feb. 19-Mar. 20): If you’re an average Piscean, you sometimes worry that your phone is tapped by government spooks, or that extraterrestrials have stolen socks from your dirty laundry, or that newspaper astrology columnists have hired private detectives to spy on every move you make. And frankly, my friend, I’m hoping that you do indulge in such cartoony fantasies in the coming week. Why? Because that would be a relatively harmless way to drain off the paranoia you’re susceptible to these days. And then you wouldn’t be tempted to let your imagination go berserk about really important things — which means, hallelujah, you won’t hallucinate that a loved one is purposely trying to sabotage your success. ® Y ou c a n c a ll R o b B roxm n y, d a y o r n ig h t lo r y o u r

expanded w e e k ly h o ro sco p e I -9 0 0 -9 0 3 -2 5 0 0 $ 1 .9 9 p e r m in u te . 18 e n d over. T o u c h to n e p h o n e .

C/» 812/373-8788 A n d d o n ’t f o r g e t t o c h e c k o u t R o b ’s W e b s i t e mt u r w v u r .r e m le m tr o lo g y .c o m / U p d a te d T u e s d a y n ig h t.

S e p t e m b e r

1998

gassifieds

Call 864-5684 for rates Deadline is Monday at 5 p.m.

BRM DESIGN & METAL WORKS needs a full-time, highenergy, reliable person to help with production. Pay dependent on skills. Call 863-9553/fax 863-3088.

CLEANING SERVICE LOOK ING FOR CLEANERS: Part-time, possibly leading to full-time. Must be dependable and have own trans portation. Call 475-2690.

FARMHOUSE CHEESE HELPER: Cut, wax & pack cheese for holiday catalog. PT/FT through Dec. Call Eliz., Shelburne Farms, 985-8686.

CHILD CARE NEEDED: After school child care, M-F, 15-20 hrs./wk. Responsible, caring, cre ative provider needed for 1 sweet 9yr.-old girl. Great position for stu dent. Car, good driving record & reft. Please call 863-0439.

COURIER: Nimble, neat-looking team player familiar with the area. Be friendly, reliable, resourceful. Must have own car. $8/hr. Call 864-4818, leave name and phone #.

FLOWER AMBASSADOR TO deliver, full-time, our flowers and assist in the cleaning &C mainte nance of our shop. Excellent dri ving record, outstanding communi cation and organizational skills required. Knowledge of Chittenden County and a commitment to exquisite customer service and a team player a must. Vivaldi Flowers, 350 Dorset St., So. Burlington, VT. 863-2300.

DESIGN/ILLUSTRATION: Talented? Creative? Hip site for girls: http://www.girlzone.com needs you for graphic design and illustration for the Web. Do a little or a lot! email Art Director at mkdesign@together.net. Our grass roots operation needs you.

fy p o b e L ^ o W tb e J f

i Artists Wanted: Work for yourself from an established location with a great reputation. Showcase your artwork. Creative, talented. VERSATILE. Airbrush experience a plus. Artistic Impressions 660-9014 (leave a detailed message) D Y N A M IC C P A A N D C O N S U L T IN G F IR M seeks experienced receptionist Must have extensive experience in wordprocessing. P ay is $8 per hour to start with excellent benefits. Send resume to D iana Jones. D aym an, Lurie & Goldbury, P C , P.O. Box 1542, Burlington, V T 05402-1542. N o phone calls please.

DRIVERS WANTED: Own car & insurance. Hourly & mileage. Call Bullet Boy Courier, 862-0008. DRIVERS WANTED! Excellent income potential. Cash on nightly basis. FT & PT positions available. Menus on the Move. 863-6325. If no answer, leave a message. EXTREME SPORTS BAR looking to hire for all shifts & positions. Please apply in person. Refer to our ad for hours/location. 864-8332.

GET A LIFE!! Rapidly advancing telecommunications company offers personal freedom for aggressive self starters. Be your own boss w/ flexi ble hours. Call for more informa tion about Excel Communications. For free overview: 1-800-942-9304 ext. 20351#. For more info call Tom, 654-7081. MAIL ORDER ASSISTANT: Data entry & phone orders. FT through mid-January, poss. year-round. Call Eliz., Shelburne Farms, 985-8686.

do y o u have th a t c e rta in a rtistic fla ir? W e ’re looking for a creative individual with computer skills (PhotoShop, Illustrator, PageMaker) to generate print and w ww advertising, forms, brochures, newsletters, trade show materials, and other projects which promote uniformity of the Together Networks look. One-three years experience. Copywriting skills a plus. Samples required.

Together NETWORKS

208 Flynn Avenue Burlington,VT 05401

MENUS ON THE MOVE: Inside position, part-time, answering phones & dispatching. Knowledge of Burlington area helpful. Eves. & weekends a must. Call Menus on the Move, 863-6325. PERFECT PART-TIME HOME Business. 1997 People’s Choice Award Winner. 2 hrs./day earns you $2K-20K/mo. Hands on training. 24-hr. message. Toll free 1-888570-9394. PITCHER INN: Full-tlme/parttime year-round waitstaff, bus peo ple, host, a.m./p.m. line cooks & housekeeping. Apply in person at The Pitcher Inn, 275 Main St., Warren. 1-888-867-4824. PRODUCTION ARTISAN need ed for fast-growing manufacturing studio. Spray painting/screen print ing experience helpful. Must be experienced with metal and wood working equipment. Call Don at Alchemy Studios, 860-6614.

TELEMARKETERS NEEDED Set your own hours, work from your home. Be paid for each confirmed appt. Bonuses available. No expe rience necessary. Will train.

Call 802-496-2651

A m e rico rps Nineteen year-long positions available with non-profit hous ing organizations throughout V erm ont Interested in making a difference and getting things

Contact: Jennie

Hei (mrktng@together.net)

done for your community? $ 8 3 ^ 0 stipend, $4,725 educational award, basic health and childcare benefits for

ermont

Pu b lic Radio

VERMONT PUBLIC RADIO IS SEEKING A RECEPTIONIST/SECRETARY FOR ITS C o l c h e st e r o ffic e . G o o d TELEPHONE MANNERS REQUIRED. S e c r e t a r ia l a n d c o m p u t e r sk il l s NECESSARY. RESPONSIBILITIES INCLUDE ANSWERING PH O N E S, PROCESSING INCOMING MAIL AND PURCHASING OFFICE SU P P L IE S. PLEASE SEN D RESUME BY SEPTEM BER 9 , 1 9 9 8 TO: Ra c h e l Wr ig h t , V e r m o n t p u b l ic Ra d io , 2 0 T r o y Av e n u e , C o l c h e s t e r , Vermont 0 5 4 4 6 . E O E .

O nion R iver C o operative BURLINGTON'S COMMUNITYOWNED NATURAL MARKET

Weekend/night floor manager to join our growing front end team. Responsibilities include providing superior customer service and cashier support. Retail, natural foods and supervisory experience desired. Apply at Onion River Cooperative, 274 N. Winooski Ave, Burlington, VT. No phone calls. EOE. Also accepting applications for cashiers.

911 W hat is Your E m ergen cy?

Call 864-5684 for rates Deadline is Monday at 5 p.m.

full-time service.

and share the ride to work. I work gf to 4:30 p.m., M-P with some flexibility. (2906) BURLINGTON to ESSEX JCT. 1work at Saturn, 8 to 4 p.m., and need a ride. Can sou help me BURLINGTON to MONTPEn> the State Offices; 7:30 to 5 p.m., M-F. (2884) MILTON to SHELBURNE RD. Help! I don’t own a car and need transportation to work. My hours are 5 p.m. to 2:30 a.m. I’m will ing to pay for gas. (2904) WESTFORD TO SO, BURLINGTON. I’m an IDX employee seeking a carpooi part ner to share driving. My working hours are 8:30 to 5 p.m. with some flexibility. (2903) BURLINGTON to FAHC. Want to share a short commute and

GRAND ISLE to BURLING TON. Looking to share in the grand drive to &: from the Queen City. Work hours ate M-F, 7:45 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. (2385) COLCHESTER (MALLETTS BAY) to DOWNTOWN BURLINGTON. Let’s split the driving. Work from 8:30 to 5, MF. (1534) SO. BURLINGTON to _____ BURLINGTON DOWN TOWN. Share the cros drive M-F, Work 8:15 to 5:30 (1142) SHELBURNE to TAFT COR NERS. WILLISTON. In need ol a ride M-F. Work from 7:30 to 5:30. Can you help? (1619) IBM SECTION

sles? Lisa travels to FAHC from within Burlington every morning at 6 sum, (2846)

MARSHFIELD to IBM. Do you commute from the Marshfield area to IBM? 1work 7a.m. to 7 ' p,m. and am willing to ride with someone,

BURLINGTON to STOWE. Why not offer me a ride on your daily commute? 1 live in Bqdih^rinand work in Stowe on the 8:30 to 5 p.m. shift. (2847)

1 need a ride! From Burlington to Pinewood Plaza, near IB M || 7:30 a.m. I’m flexible mg and cheerful in the (2831}

Housing & C onservation Board

For information or an application call 828-3253. EOE.

Advertising Account KAecuth es

V e rm o n ta P l

f ? i d e s h a* 3 *

self-motivated, ambitious, competitive and creative, we want to talk to you. We are Vermont’s only publication exclusively de

See it. Buy it. Take it home and call it George.

voted to technology infomation. We are currently seeking to fill Full-time, Part-time

SEVEN DAYS classsifieds

If you

and

are

Flex-time

positions.

Compensation is base salary plus commissions and bonuses. Mail or fax resumes to: 33 Main Street, Ste. 5, Burlington, VT 05401. Fax: (802)864-3448 Attn: Merry

X LoveYousoMuch.Bob

CornifeUser-

Call Takers Wanted The Vermont Department of Public Safety seeks Telecommunicator Trainee (911 Call-Takers) applicants for full-time positions at the Williston Communi cation Center. Are you willing to work hard and want the challenges of handling Emergency 911 calls for fire, police, and rescue? Are you looking for competitive wages and a full range of fringe benefits? If you answered “YES*’ then this opportunity’ may be for you. We are looking for a few motivated individuals seeking a career. Minimum qualifications include a high school diploma or GED, at least two years experience involving direct contact with the public and a typing speed of 35 words per minute. All candidates must pass a security clearance. For more information please contact Mr. Duncan A. Higgins, Personnel Administrator, Vermont Depart ment of Public Safety, 103 South Main Street, Waterbury, VT, 05676 or call 802/244-8763 Apply by separate standard State of Vermont application referencing Jobcodc 911000 to: Department of Personnel. Recruitment Services 110 State Street, Drawer 20 Montpelier, VT 05620-3001 or Fax to: 802/828-5580 802/828-3483 / (Vt TTY Relay) 1-800-253-0191 The State of Vermont is an Equal Opportunity Employer

BURLINGTON

FUTON C OMP A N Y

RETAIL

Join our growing retail staff! W e are looking for a friendly, energetic and detail-oriented person. Retail or similar experience preferred. Terrific work environment, including fun people, quality products, competitive wages (benefits too!) and a great opportunity to learn and grow with us. Please apply in person.

BURLINGTON FUTON C O . 388 Pine Street

I Love youJoo, 8ofa

TO HAKE CHOCOLATE POTATO CAKE (GULP): 1 /2 CUP BUTTER; 2 CUPS SUGAR; 3 i j $ S (SEPARATED); 2 X U P S SIFTED CAKE (LOUR; 1 CUP COLD MASHED POTATOES; 1 CUP COLD COFTEE; 1 TABLESPOON EACH: BAKIHG SODA, CLOVES, CIHHAMOH; 1/ZlEA SPO O H SALT; 1 /2 CUP WALNUTS; 7 SQUARES BITTER CHOCOLATE (MELTED). september

2 , 1998

SEVEN DAYS

page

assifieds

Call 864-5684 for rales Deadline is Monday at 5 p.m.

EMPLOYMENT

LOOKING TO RENT

SERVICES

BUY THIS STUFF

RETAIL ASSISTANT, PARTTIME, to assist customers in flower ordering, selection and purchasing. Requires previous retail experience, knowledge of flowers and plants, outstanding communication skills and a commitment to exquisite cus tomer service. Position requires a team player interested in assisting all aspects of shop operations and maintenance. Saturdays arc a must. Vivaldi Flowers, 350 Dorset St., So. Burlington. 863-2300.

GAY, PROFESSIONAL MALE, 30, moving from Montreal to Middlebury/Burlington area seek ing similar, outgoing, clean gay/gay friendly roommate, pref. w/ house. Call 514-766-7332 or emailpagoulet@scabrini.com.

CASH: Have you sold property and taken back a mortgage? I’ll pay cash for all your remaining pay ments. (802) 775-2552 x202.

W OLFF TANNING BEDS

SALES: Looking for ambitious sales people for Web page sales. Great money! Set you own hours. Must have laptop. Call 802-864-8332, ask for Dan or Shawn. SECRETARY/RECEPTIONIST/ INSIDE SALES: Energetic person needed to answer phones, greet cus tomers and perform inside sales. Resume to: P.O. Box 878 Williston, VT 05495-0878. Good benefits, flexible hours. SUBWAY, SHELBURNE RD. seeks reliable people for all shifts. Flexible scheduling available. Apply in person at 2455 Shelburne Rd., across from Climb High. WAITRESS POSITONS available FT or PT. Experience preferred, but will train. Daytime & evening hours a must. Weekend hours also avail. Flexible scheduling a must. Interested applicants apply in per son at the Golden Dragon, 144 Church St., downtown Burlington.

BUSINESS OPP. BE YOUR OWN BOSS. Work from home. FREE 12-page Special Report & 3-minute message reveal how you can earn SERIOUS income marketing cutting-edge nutritional products. QualitySupport-Results. 1-888-574-3430.

REAL ESTATE G OVT FORECLOSED HOMES from pennies on $1. Delinquent tax, repo’s, REO’s. Your area. Tollfree, 1-800-218-9000, Ext. H-6908 for current listings.

o f f ic e / s t u d io s p a c e BURLINGTON: Downtown office space has openings for 2 alternative health practitioners. $270/mo. 434-4357. BURLINGTON: Office sp a ce 950 sq. ft.— to rent or share. $450/mo. Exposed beams, light, bathroom, reception area, overlook ing Battery Park. Call 862-5121. SO. BURLINGTON: Professional, clean, quiet office space available. Rent by hour, day, week or month. Perfect for health care or alternative healthcare practioners. 865-4714.

HOUSEMATES WANTED BURLINGTON: Person to share sunny 3-bdrm. apt. w/ 2 students. Pearl St. location, close to UVM & downtown. $300/mo. + 1/3 utils. Avail. 1/2/99. Call 652-1443. BURLINGTON: Grad/prof. sought. 1 roommate for 2-bdrm. house on No. Winooski Ave. Nice back-lot location, parking, gas heat & water. $375/mo. + utils. Avail, now. 865-7896. HINESBURG: Non-smoker, 28+, to share modern house in woodland setting. Self-aware, not into TV. $360/mo. + 1/2 propane. Avail, now. Call Richard, 482-4004.

UNIQUE LIVING SITUATIONS HOUSESITTER: Reliable local woman returning to area. Excellent references. Leave message for Rachel, 862-6633.

VOLUNTEERS NEEDED! Join us to present the 6th Annual South End Art Hop. This dynamic event celebrating the Arts with Open Studios, Exhibits in workspace and warehouse galleries and a Silent Auction needs volunteers. Meet and work with creative, communityminded people, Artists & Entrepreneurs in the thriving South End of Burlington. The September 11th opening party will feature the music of Rebecca Simone with Jusagroove. Call 660-9580 & leave your name, address & phone.

6 u 5 T o ’'

FUN ART FOR YOUR HOME... Paint your child’s bedroom, play room, bathroom w/ fun, original ideas for murals, borders, floors. Call me! Judy Weeks, 864-7652. FREE CASH GRANTS! College. Scholarships. Business. Medical bills. Never Repay. Toll Free 1-800218-9000 Ext. G-6908. TELEPHONE JACK INSTALLA TIONS /REPAIR. Quality work, very professional and VERY AFFORDABLE! Will install jacks for modems, multiple lines and extensions to anywhere in house/apt. Will repair jacks also. FREE ESTIMATES. Call 8634873 for an appt.

CLEANING SERVICES BON AMI. CITRA-SOLV. Life Tree Lavendar & Tea Tree...that’s right, little old name dropper me— Diane H., housekeeper to the stars. 658-7458. “I’m frightfully sure that calling anybody else would be for the birds.”—Alfred Hitchcock.

CHILD CARE NEXT GENERATION PRE SCHOOL & CHILD CARE facili ty opening this September near Essex high school off Rt. 2A Now accepting enrollment for children 6-weeks thru pre-school. Call Jim Berns, 879-3779, for more info.

BUY THIS STUFF LOVE BEAUTY? SYRIAN BEDO yiN RUGS: Carpets from Caucasus, Kilim, Soumak, pillows, brass, mosaic, lamps & fabric from DAMASCUS. Call and come see. 802-877-3863, Vergennes, VT.

TAN AT HOME BUY DIRECT AND SAVE! COMMERCIAL/HOME UNITS FROM $199 FREE COLOR CATALOG CALL TODAY 1-800-842-1310

MAKE YOUR OWN WINE! Blueberry, Apple, Merlot and Chardonnay. Juice and supplies. Beer, soda and cider, too! Vermont Homebrew Supply, Rte. 15, Winooski. 655-2070.

AUTOMOTIVE 1985 VW VANAGON: 4-spd., white, water cooled, no rust, looks great inside & out, runs excellent, under 105K mi. Must sell, $2,200. 603-862-3472. CARS FOR $100. Upcoming local sales of Gov’t-seized and surplus sports cars, trucks, 4x4s, SUVs, etc. 1-800-863-9868 xl738. SEIZED CARS FROM $175. Porsches, Cadillacs, Chcvys, BMW’s, Corvettes. Also Jeeps, 4WD’s. Your area. 1-800-218-9000 Ext. A-6908 for current listings.

PLAN TO ATTEND THE 6TH ANNUAL SO. END ART HOP, 9/11 & 9/12, 1998. View the work of over 100 local artists at 60 sites in the alleys of Burlington’s So. End. The Art Hop will include Open Studios, Exhibits, Silent Auction & an exhibit juried by »Amy Schlegel, curator at the Hood Museum. $1,000+ in cash prizes will be awarded. Opening Party fea turing Rebecca Simone w/ Jusagroovc. Info: 660-9580. Sponsored by Pine St. Arts & Business Assoc.

Call 864-5684 for rates Deadline is Monday at 5 p.m.

MAX MIX DJ/RECORD SHOP, 108 Church St., Burlington, look ing for used DJ/music equipment, record collections and local clothing designers. Merchandise placed on consignment. 802-651-0722.

HARDCORE/GRIND GUI TARIST seeks musicians to form band. Infl.: Carcass, Damnation A.D., Napalm Death, Godflesh. I have equip., transportation & dedi cation. Will travel. Dan, 545-2606.

EXPERIENCED & DEDICATED lead vocalist/acoustic guitarist need ed ASAP for working band, Empty Pockets. Also need drummer to start by 1/1/99. Reg. booking thru 1999. Call Glad, 482-5230.

DRUMMER WANTED for coun try band. We play new country. Call Elton, 802-644-8497.

GUITARS: Fender Squier Telecaster, 1987, Japanese, blonde, maple fretboard, excellent cond., $225. G&L SC-3, 1987. USA, red, rosewood fretboard, locking tuning, roller nut, etc. excellent cond., $375. 985-9481. HARD DISK RECORDER, Roland VS-880 w/ CD Burner and Zip drive, $1,800; SECK 1282 8bus muting board, $450; Alesis Quadraverb, $150; Peavey 1x15 speaker cab, $100; Alesis SR-16 drum machine, $175. Call 4344576, leave message.

WHO THE HELL WANTS TO ROCK? Drummer looking to join band &C play [insert your creative category here] rock. Infl.: Jesus Lizard, Hum. John, 985-1289. AD ASTRA RECORDING. Relax. Record. Get the tracks. Make a demo. Make a record. Quality is high. Rates are low. State of the art equip. & a big deck w/ great views. Call (802) 872-8583.

“NO SECRETS” COMPILA TION CD commemorating the 25th anniversary of the Women’s Rape Crisis Center is now in stores! 14 VT artists celebrate and benefit the WRCC: Rik Palieri, Aaron Flinn, Lara & Greg Noble, Chin Ho!, Full Moon Heart, Scott McAllister & Meredith Cooper, Rachel Bissex, Yolanda, Katherine Quinn, Whisky Before Breakfast, Strangefolk, Rebecca Simone w/ The Orange Factory featuring Craig Mitchell, Motel Brown, Kate Barclay, & guests Mistle Thrush of Boston, MA. Also avail, online at www.bigheavyworld.com. WANTED: SINGER/FRONTperson, Classic rock to modern pop. Blues to country rock. Ready to gig. Just waiting for the right person. Serious & dedicated only. 496-3166 or 253-7885.

THE KENNEL REHEARSAL SPACE. Rooms available for musi cians & bands on monthly/hourly basis. 24-hr. access, lock-outs & storage avail. Reservations req. For rates 8c more info call 660-2880. 3017 Wlliston Rd., So. Burlington.

You Can

Professionally Label CD, Zip, Audio, Video and more with the NEATO® Labeler Kit including FREE Design Software Call “the Label Enabler”

For Catalog 888-573-7866

www.neato.com

HE SEEMEP To NAME HIMSELF.

THEN HE WENT iNTo THE LIVINGR o o m To SHREP MY NEW S o FA.

TP ALSO BEEN MURPERlNG | BUT THE CLAW THING MAPE ME MICE FREQUENTLY ANP C U R S -i WoNPER IF 1 WANTEP A CAT ING THE RATS IN THE WALLS. lARoUNP To RUIN THE FURNITURE.

THE TALKING HEAPS WERE ON THE TURNTABLE. JUST WHEN BYRNE SANG I'M JU ST AN ANIMAL/

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BEEN PRAWlNG AU P PAINT ING A LoT OF CAT IMAGES PRIOP To HlS APPEARANCE.

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APT./HOUSE FOR RENT BURLINGTON: Marble Ave. (So. End) townhouse, 2-bdrm., hdwd. firs., yard, parking, quiet neighbor hood, DW, non-smokers. $650/mo., lease & good refs. req. Call 862-3719.

...GuSTo PLANTEP HlS PAWS ON MY KNEES ANP LooKEP STRAIGHT INTO MY EYES.

1 WAS SoLP. HE LEFT THE SoFA ALoNE ANP BEGAN EXTERMINATING VERMIN.

THERE WERE TIMES WHEN IT SEEMEP LIKE HE WAS THE ONLY FRIENP 1 HAP.

£ 0 S T b +Vus- S F S T

d.OUNE 1 9 0 3 -JULY 23» 1996

TTENTION LANDLORDS! stablished, local company seeks to ase dean, three to eight apartlents under one roof. Each aparticnt must have two or more bed>oms. Good neighborhood, handiipped access, off-street parking, on us line a plus. Need is immediate, all Megan Price, 802-655-7111 ith details.

C ream buiier , add sugar and cream well. A dd the beaten egg yolks, then the potatoes and melted chocolate. Sift the soda together with all

WITH ALL THE DRY INGREDIENTS, THEN ADD ALTERNATELY WITH THE COFFEE. PCOLD IN THE EGG WHITES WHICH HAVE BEEN BEATEN STIFF BUT NOT DRY. SEVEN DAYS’ September 2, 1998 p a g e 38

rotten egg incubator DRUMS & PERCUSSION: Learn to play, not imitate. Emphasis on self-expression & independence. All levels, styles, ages. Gabe Jarrett (Jazz Mandolin Project, Gordon Stone, James Harvey), 951-9901.

from the secret files of

cqnnon

I ain’t married no people yet, but I practiced on some pigeons in the park the other day.

I got me a mail-order certificate that says I’m a real minister, and it cost me only ten bucks.

GUITAR: All styles & levels. Emphasis on developing strong technique, thorough musicianship & personal style. Paul Asbell (Unknown Blues Band, SklarGrippo). 862-7696. PIANO: Beginning to advanced, age 3 to 103! Classical technique to improv. Open, holistic approach. Ero Lippold, 862-9727. VOICE: Private voice lessons. Voice care/coaching. Trust a pro w/ 20 yr. exp., whose credits inch Broadway, radio & TV, blues, punk, jazz, stand-up, opera or oral reports. You can expand your power, range & presence! Build confidence, nurture & love your voice today! Gift cer tificates avail. Call Jim, 849-9749

SUPPORT GROUP MEN AT PEACE: an in-depth group dealing with a variety of masculine issues. Many techniques will be explored. $7. Call Eric, 6520027 for details.

EXOTIC DANCERS: Male & female for bachelor(ette), birthday, strip-o-grams, frat/sorority parties. Quality/dependability guaranteed. Serving all of New England. 1-800-347-2468. www.fantasyentcrprises.com.

TRANQUIL CONNECTION MASSAGE THERAPY. Pamper yourself or a special someone to a message w/ Tranquil Connection. Soak in hot tub prior to session to mellow your mind, warm your body in serene, private setting. Sessions start at $45; Head & foot massage $20; Spec, package: 3 sess. $100. For appt. or leave msg. Board certified therapist. 654-9200.

Mmmm, I’m o Cali Girl, ready to U explode an over!!! Kandy, 1-800955-4725

PSYCHICS

Travel Vermont/Fall Folliage Issue September 23

$ 1.75Anin. 18+

VMC/AmexDebit Cd

Call 864.5684 for Ad rates and Info

ASSUMING THAT, YOU DON’T KNOW how many days in your life-time. Call 1-900-3703399 Ext. 7761. $3.99 per min., must be 18 yrs. Serv-U (619)645-8334.

TREAT YOURSELF TO 75 MINUTES OF RELAXATION. Deep therapeutic massage. Sessions: $40. Gift certificates. Located in downtown Burl. Flexible schedule. Aviva Silberman, 862-0029. EXPERIENCE THE ULTIMATE MASSAGE! Treat yourself or a friend to the incredible relaxation & effectiveness of exquisite Oriental massage w/ JinShin Acupressure. Assists in stress relief, injury recovery & renewed vitality. Fantastic gift! Gift certificates avail. $5.00 discount w/ ad. Acupressure Massage of Burlington, J. Watkins, 425-4279.

Last

1- 800- 458-6444 1- 900- 435-4405

WHAT DIRECTION SHOULD you go??? Let a Psychic Help!!! Just call 1-900-267-9999 Ext. 8113. $3.99 per min. Must be 18 yrs. Serv-U (619) 645-8438.

MASSAGE

Answers

NASTY GIRLS!!! c 1 8 +

IN w

DATING SERVICES

t u

N.E. SINGLES CONNECTION: Dating & Friendship Network for relationship minded Single Adults. Professional, Intelligent, Personal. Lifetime membership, Newsletter. Call for Free info, (800) 775-3090.

We've shown 3500 people j a better way { to meet.

i i

L w m v.c o m p a tib k s.co m

W e e k ’s P u z z le

Q I Q E B El U

L 1 RE c: ANAL I B VE L S ID 0 CE E IB IQL AS T [A, ORTA [c OVE T [k NE EJ 1

Bake intwolayers at 3 5 0 ° about 30 minutes. Fill andfrost whencool. "Maybe I love this cake because I first hadit onmy honeymoon." —Mrs.EdwardPrince September

1998

SEVEN DAYS

page

*Zf.:*&&&* -

ft.'--"/

w e l l n e s s

Vitamins - Hepbs - Homeopathics - Books - Body Cape - Pet C a pe

Areas Largest Selection Nothing Synthetic or Artificial Knowledgeable & Professional Service

If QUALITY, SERVICE & PRICE

are important to you when shop ping for Vitamins, Herbs and other Supplements-W HY should it matter what day of the month (or week) it is?

^ u t l i h f t o h ’s

O nly

utiitloncti

M assag e Relaxation Ma»gage NeMO*nu8tt*£at Idetapy ^ S k ille d T h e ra p is t -{ B e a u t if u l O ffice S fG ift ce rtificate s 3 ?G re a t ra te s

864*0444

See display ad.

T H E R O L F IN G C E N T E R

LAURA LUCHINI MASSAGE: 865-1233. Burl. See display ad. RADIANCE MASSAGE: 8644959, Burlington. See display ad. SARI K. WOLF: 223-4715, Montpelier. See display ad.

Kirsten O C 652-07*9

C a ll u s f o r a f r e e c o n s u lta tio n . Y o u

s o h

psychics

h a v e n o th in g t o

herbs

MARION TREDEAU: 223-7798 & 454-1432. See display ad.

PURPLE SHUTTER HERBS: Burlington’s only full service herb shop. We carry only the finest herbal products; many of them grown & produced in Vt. Featuring over 400 bulk dried herbs & tinctures. 100 Main Street, Burlington. 865-HERB. Store hours: Mon.-Sat., 10-6.

and

d is c o m fo r t.

T k o iw ik S r o llin g G aJ« THE ROLFING® CENTER: 864-0444. See display ad.

L o v e ltt

v ita m in s su p p ort groups

Sc h e r b s

I understand that chiropractic can help with problems like back pain, but now I hear that it also can clear up prob lems like stomach ulcers. Can this be true? How / work? ■ The spinal column is really a long electrical wire, from which other electrical wires sprout, and at the end o f each one is a switch, just like the light switch in your home, which turns an organ on or off. When these switches get mixed up, you have organ problems, and the chiropractor simply re-routes the electricity so that all the switches go on and off at the right time. Okay, that isn’t really true. Actually, the old-fashioned idea o f chiropractic care was that if your spine was out o f alignment, the vertebrae would press on nerves, sending pain somewhere. T he point o f a chiropractic adjustment was seen as being to alleviate this pressure, and hence alle viate the patients pain. According to Burlington chiropractor Laura Ramirez, the “modern approach to chiropractic has nothing to do with alignment, and has more to do with normalizing joint function.” A m o d e rn c h iro p ra cto r looks a t th e fu n c tio n o f the joinrs, a n d rhe n euro-m uaculo-skekcal system a , a w hole.

VITAMIN CONNECTION: 862-2590, 72 Main St., Burlington. See display ad.

ANXIETY REDUCTION GROUP: 985-3315, Shelburne.

fitness

See display ad.

YMCA: 862-9622, Burlington.

MEN ALIVE: 865-2247. See dis

See display ad.

play ad.

A lternative T herapists Needed C

lo s e b u t y o u r p a in

BERNICE KELMAN: 899-3542, Underhill. See display ad.

c o u n s e lin g

fo r

Shop

R O LFIN G <

m a s sa g e KIRSTEN OLSEN: 652-0789.

7forapmtlc AKassaga

ADVANCED VISION: 6587610, Burlington. See display ad.

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Vitamin Connection

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us for our We invite MEN ALIVEfill Gathering Sept 25-27. w "'

Informational

\ V .'V - jh j rf " y , f . . , »

meeting

September

1_0a t _7 PM,

- will be a chance to sample sortie sharing, our ou traditions ardour personal stories. We offer a powerful and Safe environment in*Which to grow, explore issues anCfeel a deep sense o f brotherhood. We welcome men of ali backgrounds.

m a s s a g e • reiki • fa cia list • h erb al w r a p s

motion around a muscle is fed back to the brain, and the brain responds by increasing or decreasing the nervous output and tightening or loosening the muscles. This is one o f the primary reasons why, when you’re walking uphill, you’re able to balance on one part o f your foot without falling down. Or why, when you’re lifting a spoonful o f sherbet, the spoon actually makes it into your mouth.

Call Barry

8 6 5 -5 2 7 4

Carl 872-8322.

says. This nervous output, she adds, also goes to the organ systems, so if there’s a problem with joint function, it causes an increase in output to the nerve, and can also increase output to the organ system associated with that

R a d i a n tee t

MLassage

864-4959 1 8 7 S i Paul St. Burlington

Montpelier 223-7798 Plainfield 454-1432

Sept. Group Forming!

Eye C a re T on C a n T r u s t

Care

- b

Gift Certificates Avallahlel

Vision

' t,c

irez nottsy^butwe also see ulcers or menstrual ps or asthma respond. In the same way* organ sys-

Sensitive Counseling Individuals, Couple*

Refax, Rejuvenate

“Most o f what we see is musculo-skeletal in nature,”

M a r io n T r c d e a u M A , R N , CS

Sw edish, E salen

Advanced

• State-of-the-art Glaucoma and Vision Testing • Treatm ent o f eye infections • N o obligation contact lens trial program • Wear contact lenses hom e same day, even bifocal contacts, m ost cases • Glasses made while you wait, in many cases • Laser correction consultation

and Contact Lens Center

Dr. J. Allen Puma, Ofumrtria Dr. Jeffrey Weintraub,

6 5 8 - 7 6 1 0

C h a r fh a n t

• obsessive thinking • m uscle tension • racin gh e art • low self-esteem

b^hCET

Anxiety is highly reduced through brief and effective treatment

Ballroom • Swing • Tango Modem Creative Dance for 3-5 year olds

• inab*y to feel relaxed • fatigue • worry • panic

Call Now!

862-9622

Ten week anxiety reduction groups starting in Septem ber. Call Ju lian a O'Brien UCSW .M .Div. for information on individual and group treatment.

30 Main St., Gateway Office Building

B U R L I N G T O N . VT

Y M C A ___________

658-7610

Sari K. Wolf, RN, CCRN, TMP, CAP, Reiki III

Be r n ic e K e l m a n P s y c h ic C o

Release Fatigue and Pain

p a g e

a n n e l in g N eith er Seven Days nor an y p ractition er q u oted here m ay be

BY A P P O IN T M E N T

th a t is m en tion ed in this column. Please use com m on sense, listen to y o u r body, a n d refer to y o u r ow n health practition er f o r advice.

12 U

802-223-4715

u n s e l in g

h eld liable f o r an y result o f tryin g a n ew remedy, practice or produ ct

Massage/ Myofascial Therapy Deep Tissue, Aromatherapy • Acu-Pressure By appointment only

802. 985.3315

kelly

Readers a n d practitioners are welcome to su b m it questions a n d sug-

oad

, V T 05489 802.899-3542-

n d e r h il l

SEVEN DAYS

; gestions f o r H ealth Q & A . S en d to Seven Days, P O B 1164, Burlington, V T 0 5 4 0 2 , ore-m ailseven day@ togeth er.n et. .

: :____________________________

September

____________________________

1998

to respond to a personal ad call l - 0 0 0 - 3 7 0 - 7 1 2 7 We’re open 24 hours a day! ARE YOU OUT THERE? Intelligent, attrac

p erson al ^

i*^yj

q^ ^

.v.>.<■■..

A = Asian, B = Black, Bi = Bisexual, C = Christian, CU = Couple, D = Divorced, F = Female, G = Gay, H = Hispanic, ISO = In Search Of, J = Jewish, LTR = Long-Term Relationship, M = Male, Ma <= Married, ND = No Drugs, NS = Non-Smoking, NA = No Alcohol, P = Professional, S = Single, W = White, Wi = Widowed, YO = Years Old

TIRED OF DOING THINGS BY YOURSELF? I’m yours: a young, ath

letic SWPF, 46, sports enthusiast with a sense of humor; likes current events, water, music, books, hiking. 2011 ADVENTURE, QUIET TIMES, INDEPEN DENT, vulnerable, shy, outgoing, seri

ous, silly, artist, camping, biking, walk ing, plays, classical to blues. NS, 46, 5’7", 137 lbs. Looking for LTR. 1983 HELP BRING OUT MY INNER WILD CHILD. SWF, 18, red/blonde hair, on the

shy side, ISO SM, under 25, to bring me out of my shell. 1986_____________ HEY, SAILOR! EXPERIENCED 1ST MATE, varied interests/abilities, attractive, very seaworthy. Has weathered the storm, ready to test the waters. ISO fun, intel ligent, attractive guy, 38-48, who’s got it together. 1988_____________________ DWPF, 44 , PLATTSBURGH, NY, ISO A n o n A B o k in q n w

I NEED TO SNUGGLE WITH POOH,

bounce with Tigger, and have both with you. I am a SWPF, 33. Can you “demo” the bouncy snuggle for me? 2022 _____ SWING IS BACK! CUTE, SMART, FUNNY,

50-something SWPF, good dancer, seeks jitterbug partner. A good match could lead to slow dancing. 2028 ATTRACTIVE, INTELLIGENT F, 37 , look

ing for male pilot, 40-50, in need of female companionship to split costs of flying in exchange for tutoring. Lunch... then let's see what develops. 2032 ATTRACTIVE, SENSUOUS BLONDE, 30 S,

with a career and a divorce, seeks an educated man, over 40, who is not angry, but is intellectual and sexual, with whom to enjoy life’s pleasures. 2033________________________________ WANTED: ADVENTUROUS, BRIGHT,

attractive M, 35-50, for good compan ionship and mutual enjoyment in exploring the lakes, woods and culture of Vermont by pleasant, active, gen uine, nice-looking, unencumbered woman. 2041________________________ LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO SPEND IT ALONE. SWF, 48, petite, blonde, a true

romantic, emotionally secure, kind, car ing, honest, loving. I enjoy travel, walks, cooking, reading and quiet times. 2000 HAVE A KID, HAVE A JOB, HAVE A HOUSE. Wonder what is next. SWF,

educated, funky, artistic, professional ISO professional, 45-55, creative, enjoys dancing, cooking, gardening and moonlight. 2002_______________ SEEKING A COUNTRY MAN (SPM), 30 40, who loves the outdoors, animals, intellectual stimulation; enjoys conver sations, travel, sense of humor. I’m a SPF, 32, hoping to find you! 2005 SWPF, 30 , LOOKING FOR SPM, 29 -35 ,

who appreciates the wonders of nature, a sense of humor, enjoys the challenge of adventure, but also content with life’s simple pleasures. 2004 CURIOUS, PLAYFUL, HONEST SWF, 31 ,

ISO independent, active, th o ug h ts, centered, self-aware, NS male to share stories, dreams, adventures and any other common interests we find. 2007 SF, 42 , FULL-FIGURED, SEEKING FINAN CIALLY & emotionally secure man for

friendship. Interests: investing, art, the ater, movies, books, travel. Age 35-45. 2008.

$1.99 a minute, must be 18 or older.

LOVE VIBRATOR SEEKS POWER SOCKET. Let’s turn on. 2040______________

tive, professional D/SM, 38-55, enjoys healthy lifestyle, outdoors, theater, music, travel, along with desire for laughter/spontaneity? If so, call me...I offer what I’m looking for!! 1880______

SWM, DOMINANT ONLY IN THE BED ROOM every so often for a special

HEALTHY, HAPPY, ATTRACTIVL intelli gent, athletic DWPF, 51, loves family, friends, pets, outdoor activities, music, books, flowers, good food and laugh ter. Seeking compatible M, 40-60, who loves life. 1 8 8 3 __________ __________

FORTY, FUNNY, FIT (ALMOST). Biking, boating, blues. Smiling, happy and fun? Could we make each other laugh? Send picture (of your bicycle!) or call.

MTN. BIKER BABE SEEKS CYCLING

dude for fat-tire fun. Need someone who can wield a wrench when I totally pretzel my derailleur back in the boonies. No beginner geeks, please. 1882______________I_________________ LETS HIT THE TOWN! SWF, 25, enjoys music, dancing, going to the movies, ISO attractive, fit dance partner 81 friend, 23-33, that knows how to respect a woman. 1847_____________ RECENTLY SINGLED WF, GREEN EYES,

red hair, small waistline, 5’6”, 109 lbs., ISO WM, 18-23, tall, exciting and sometimes likes to be in charge. 1848______ STARDATE JULY, 1998 : TRANSPORTER malfunctioned; lost on deserted alien planet. Lost away team. Repaired com municator to send SOS beacon. Planet of origin unimportant. SBF, 35. 1854 ATTRACTIVL BROWN HAIR, GREEN

eyes, 40, 5’6”, 105 lbs. DPF. Likes Bernie, The Nation (especially Katha Pollitt), dancing, jazz & classical music and more. Seeks man w/ similar inter ests, who is tall w/ athletic build. 1861

treat. Must like to be spoiled and wor shipped. Enjoy Canada, sailing. Married OK, 38-47, medium build. 2043_______

mi ______________________ WANTED: COWGIRL/FARMGIRL SWM,

40s, NS, ND, good-looking, fit, healthy, energetic, down-to-earth, 5’n ”, 165 lbs., enjoys country, animals, auctions, fancy trucks and good women. ISO attractive, fit, healthy country girl. 2006 SINGLE PARENT DAD, 51 , ENGINEER, having fun, but need someone special for myself. She’s hopefully slender, tall or petite, an independent thinker who enjoys humor and verbal jousting. Age open. 2013__________________________ EDDIE BAUER DESIRES VICTORIA’S

Secret. Burlington-born, Boston-educat ed, European-traveled, financially fit SM, not that much over 30, seeks witty, out-going, alluring, creative SF for companionship, friendship, possible LTR. 2019___________________________ SWM, 38 , 5 'u ” , CARPENTER. INTER ESTS: hiking, snow-shoeing, skiing, canoeing, camping, self-sufficient lifestyle. ISO pioneer woman interested in homesteading on 25 acres, simple, self-reliant life. 1980_________________ SAILING COMPANION. RETIRED BUSI NESS executive needs a young pair of

real man, one who knows that love is something that grows, and that friend ship is the stem of the rose. I am liter ate, witty, sensitive, Gemini, 5’2”, active, talkative and often audacious!! Let’s get together and check out the chemistry. Smile. 1946________________

SPIRITUAL RADIANT, MYSTICAL sensu

al, open-hearted DWPF, phsysically fit, attractive, young 45, enjoys yoga, med itation, dancing, hiking, biking, organic gardening, music. Seeks active, spiritu ally evolving partner for heartfelt con nections. 1862

hands to help sail on Lake Champlain and Maine Coast this summer. Can accommodate your vacation schedule. Sailing experience not necessary as I will teach you how to sail. 1987______

INDEPENDENTLY WEALTHY, GORGEOUS,

SAILING, SWIMMING, HIKING, HEAVY

sensuous, energetic, 40s, who loves music, interested in sharing time (and dancing) with insightful, sensuous and compassionate man of a progressive bent with zest for life. 1870__________ I DONT SMOKE, I SMOLDER. Smart, sexy SWPF seeks similarly incendiary S/DM, 38-50, for summer campfires. Love of water and woods desired. Music, dancing, books & film also light my fire. LTR maybe, but fun first. 1871

in playing up romance.” To lay claim to my reasoning, I am referring to us having “a date together!” Ciao. 1981______ SWPM, 38 , 5 ’u ” , 205 LBS., ENJOYS golfing, hiking, antique shopping and traveling, as well as reading, music, dining, long romantic walks and cud dling on the couch. ISO SWPF, 30-40, to spend time with. If we have these things in common, give me a call. 1991 LIBERALLY-SEASONED, SECURE, ener getic, handsome SWM, 41. Multifaceted world traveler, successful, professional, extremely fit. Intentionally open to kin dling that special relationship with earthy, attractive, witty woman of passion and substance. 1992.____________

I ONLY HAVE FIVE WORDS TO SAY: “ I

SWM, 31 , WHO IS ADVENTUROUS, lov

am tired of JERKS!” SWF seeks SWM, 30s, to experience the summer nights by the lake with... 1872

ing, caring, cute and lively, seeks S/DF, 24-36, who enjoys life, conversation, outdoors and will be my best friend, partner, lover, companion. Try me. 1998

brilliant, completely secure, witty, 39ish (almost all of the above), looking for same. 1952__________________________ CALLING ALL JEWS!!! Where’s the tribe? DIF, 37, 5’9”, 120 lbs., gorgeous, leggy, blonde/blue, Ashkenazi, looking for male M.O.T./Basheert. In VT, you’re your own Sidduch. Vey iz mir! 1950________ ME; SWF, 18 , W/ BLUE EYES, RED HAIR. a love for animals, fun and cuddling. You: SM, 18-23, w/ similar interests and a warm heart. We must meet! 1974 REGGAE, CAMPING, SKIING, LAUGHING.

5’6”, 115 lbs., blonde F ISO “slightly” overweight, tall, attractive, athletic, confident, NS M, 26-33, to hang out and have fun with. Dark hair a +. 1926 I’M A BITCH, I'M A LOVER, I’M A CHILD,

I’m a mother, I’m a sinner, I’m a saint...I’m attractive, petite, 38, SWF with varied interests looking for a SM friend and activity partner. Tall, dark & handsome encouraged to reply! 1928

metal concerts, country-rock dancing, constitutional arguments, explosives research, make “It” legal. ISO romantic, intelligent, marriageable M. 1866______ MEDITERRANEAN WOMAN, SOULFUL

YOUR BEST FRIEND, FOREVER. DWPM, ru m A s s k in q w o m a n

CAN I GET YOUR ATTENTION? IN NEED

of love and affection. Single lady, 30, needs your attention. Looking for same intentions. 1938_____________________ DANCE WITH M L DWF, 50 ISH, attrac tive, petite, NS, enjoys dining, dancing, cookouts, movies, walks. ISO caring, sincere, healthy M for friendship, possibly more. 1907______________________ TOO MUCH FUN IS NEVER ENOUGH.

Excessive in all things, but practicing moderation. Me: PSWF, 51, likes to par ticipate, instead of observe, in alt activities. ISO PSWM, NS, young 50, but energy of a 20 yr. old. Must play in overdrive. 1909______________________ SEE AD -TOO MUCH IS NEVER ENOUGH.* Substitute 30s for 50s.

Energy of 20 yr. old a must. If you want to be a player—not a spectator— in life. I’m your girl! 1910_____________ SWF. WELL-BUILT, FULLY LOADED,

cruise control optional, look under the hood, classic 1977, low mileage. No lemons here. A true classic. 1914______ STATUESQUE, IRREVERENT, OPTIMIST

seeks witty, intelligent, warm PM, 3545, who loves life, the arts, the ocean...and doesn’t mind the occasion al chick flick. 1917

GIRLS, YOU CAN'T FEIGN “THE ACTION

M, 35 , VERY OUTGOING, MUSICIAN, writer, photographer, artist and single dad seeking soulmate who loves every thing from music and the arts to fly Fishing on Mt. Mansfield. 2023________

SEEKING PLAYFUL PARTNER WHO

enjoys a good time! Friendship, fun, even romance! Me: DWPM, youthful 40, adventurous, athletic, active, witty. You? Excite me with your enthusiasm! Let’s dance! 1948____________________ CREATIVE & ATTRACTIVE, 31 . Want to meet more women my age. If you like soft-spoken, sensitive, intelligent men, give me a call. 1949

dog, enjoys hiking, most sports, read ing movies, traveling, dining out, microbrews, etc. Educated and intelli gent, seeking S/DF with similar inter ests. 2038

SWM, 24 , 5 ’ 7 ” , 130 LBS., B-TOWN sin

gle life. Have beautiful dog, but he’s not much for conversation, are you? What about mountain biking, snow boarding, German autos, fine food and drink, or live music? 1931_____________ SWCM, 29 , SEEKS SCF. I LIVE IN Northeastern VT, enjoy the outdoors, movies, quiet times. I’m busy, but have time to spend with the right person. m ° ________________________________ MULDER SEEKING SCULLY. Following The Rules courts disaster. I want to believe the truth is out there. Are you? Red hair is an option, not a prerequi site. SWM, 40, ‘X’. 1932______________ SWM, 20 S, ISO SF, 24 -30 , FOR friend

ship or romance. Like summer nights on Church St., biking, hiking, swim ming. Hoping to have someone to take to the coast this fall for a weekend by the ocean. Athletic, spontaneous & educated. What about you? 1936______ NO CHUTZPAH FOR SINGLE SCENE. SM,

44, educated, sensitive, extremely hon est, soul searcher, NS, ND, ISO kind, thoughtful, self-actualizing F, fit, with slender to medium build, 3oish—4oish, for romance. 1897____________________ I'M 5 ’u ” , 28 , 210 LBS. WM, GOOD shape, sober, responsible, very hard worker; love the outdoors and having fun; enjoy romantic, relaxing, serene evenings. Seeking similar companion, 25-35, race/creed unimportant. 1906 CAN YOU: FIND TIME TO GO BIKING,

hiking, canoeing, golfing, skiing, camp ing? Do you: like music, travel, reading, being outdoors, spending time with friends and family? Are you: a slim, pretty SWPF, 25-35, wanting to meet a tall, attractive, SWPM, 35? Will you: respond to this ad today? 1912________

IF I COULD RE-WORK THE APLHABET,

50s, 5’io ”, 173 lbs., brown hair, jogger, good communicator, almost always in good mood. ISO slim female, NS, 4457, for possible LTR. 2036____________

SM, 4 1,14 5 LBS., NS, NO KIDS, ONE

minded, sense of humor, value rela tionships. Range of interests, active, but not fanatical. Seeks woman over 30, sexy, under 5’6”. 1954__________ SEPARATED WM, 3 7 , FIT, PART-TIME dad, metaphysical-spiritual approach to living, positive, goal-oriented, avid reader, passionate about life, loves the outdoors, ISO S/DWF, 30-40, fit, attractive, intelligent, similar path. 1 9 7 6 ___ TENNIS, ANYONE? Bright, witty, hand some and engaging SWM ISO partner, 35-45, lean, leggy and lissome on the court; lively, literate and lascivious off the court. Post-game at a quiet, sylvan mountain retreat. Can the perfect match end in a love/love tie? 1923

NOT A PARADOX: ECOLOGY NERD/HIP

ROMANTIC, CARING, SENSITIVE WIPM,

green eyes. Enjoys dining out, movies, music, working out. Seeking SWF, 2634, who enjoys quality time. Kids OK. Looking for LTR with that special person. P.S.—no bar flies. 2037__________

SM, 44 , 5 *8 ” , FIT, EDUCATED, open-

SWM, 38 , SEEKING MATURE, dominant

but there’s a handsome prince in there somewhere. 34 YO musician, good lis tener, great hands, very friendly grin, seeks love, but will settle for good conversation. Sense of humor a must. 2027

SWPM, 30 , 6*2 ”, 190 LBS., DARK HAIR,

needed for SPM, 32. Me: 6’, br./br., flat foot floozee learning to jump. You: brown derby chic who lives for kicks. Everything else but enthusiasm sec ondary. Let’s have some laughs and step it out. 1953_____________________

48, handsome, fit, NS, neatly groomed, enjoys travel, dancing, walks, sports and cooking. ISO honest, fit woman, 35-50, for LTR, 1939_________________ musician, world traveler/hick, sensual/ascetic. SWM, 25, active, evolv ing, seeks connection with the earth and all things. 1944__________________ 2 FUNNY, ACTIVE, SENSITIVE, FORMER VT guys in 50s, vacationing on Lake Champlain, looking for slender, fun-lov ing females for sailing, water activities, tennis, biking, conversation and cookouts. 1943__________________________

THIS FROG NEEDS A LOT OF KISSING,

SWING. SWING, SWING. Dancing cohort

DON’T CALL UNLESS you talk, eat, laugh and dance. It’s good if you’ve been around the track 40 or 50 times. I’ve got a slow hand. I’m willing to drive. 1951

lady to have a unique, erotic relation ship with. Can travel Plattsburgh or _______ Burlington area. 1893 I’d put ‘i’ next to ‘u’. Tall, blue-eyed SWM, 42, seeks NS SWF to reshape the letters. Remember, fate favors the brave. 1891_________________________ TALL MaWM, LATE 40S, EDUCATED,

sense of humor, seeks attractive woman, 25-45, to crew my 25 ft. sail boat on Lake Champlain’ also leisurely dinners in Burlington area. Spouse approves. 1892______________________ ATHLETE, SOLDIER, SCIENTIST, 29 ,

5*7”, 145 lbs. I love the outdoors, Burlington nightlife and cooking/baking. Seeking someone of shorter stature, smaller waistline, and in need of devotion. 1908 I HAVE THE HEART OF DON QUIXOTE,

the soul of Cyrano de Bergerac, the charm of Magnum P.l. and the physique of Michael Jordan. All I am missing is you. 1911_______________ PM SEEKING PLAYMATE! I’m 40 and enjoy cycling, hiking, camping, fishing, movies, rock & country music and more! Looking for someone with simi lar interests, that’s slim, 30-45, NS, honest, down-to-earth, and isn’t afraid of love and affectionate! 1915

JW JL V l

1-900-370-712 7

$1.99 a minute, must be 18 or older. S e p t e mb e r

1998

SEVEN DAYS

4.1 j•

,v ■

to respond to a personal ad call l-Q O O -' We’re open 24 hours a day!

$1.99 a minute, must be 18 or older.

WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO LOVE, hon n o n A o o k in q w c u n s n

YOUNGER, KIND-HEARTED PROFESSION AL likes museums, books, antiques,

the blues, seeks stylish, intelligent woman for slow-motion romance. How are you with (a) your natural hair color; (b) a tennis racquet; (c) a stick shift? Burlington area. Sorry, smokers! 1916________________________________ WALKING CONTRADICTION: DWM, 36,

200 lbs., liberal-minded, conservative haircut, educated carpenter, depend able, impulsive, nature, Social Distortion LOUD. ISO fit F for fun, LTR, matching tattoos. 1919_______________ TIRED OF BEING ALONE. Sensitive, hon est SWM, 26, likes walks, sunsets, sports, country music, line dancing. ISO attractive, NS SWF, 20-30, with same interests for friendship, possible relationship. 1922___________________ REGGAE FEST, BREAD & PUPPET, camp ing out. Tall, attractive, honest & affec tionate single dad, 30, into outdoors, music and being close, ISO attractive WF with similar interests to have fun w/ and expand each other’s worlds. Let’s meet. 1884 A PERSONAL AD? A LAST RESORTI Are you out there, or should I just give up? Tall PM, late 20s, seeking mature, intelligent, secure PF in the same age category Looking for friendship first; we’ll take it from there. 1885 LAST NIGHT I DREAMED I FOUND YOU.

Longing for true love is only one belief away. Happy fun-seeker to share the good life! Creative, interesting, enjoy sunlight & laughter, making dreams come true. 25-37. 1852_______________ BOHEMIAN, FUNNY, NATIVE N.Y.ER,

esty, respect, communication? DWM, 36, looking for uninhibited lady to enjoy the above and adult pleasures. Race, age unimportant. Friends, possible LTR. 1856 ____________ __

►

n s w A v n tid 9 men seeking women*'

SEXISEX1SEXJ NOW THAT I HAVE YOUR

attention 81 you know I have a sense of humor, I am 35, a 6’4”, slender/athletic, divorced single-parent. Love the outdoors, dining, dancing, movies. Looking for someone to hang out w/ and have fun with, maybe more. ISO tall, slender F w/ sense of humor! 1868 TRYING AGAIN. DWPM, 42 , NS, 6 ', 160

lbs. Full plate, empty table. Romantic, spiritual, positive, high energy, parttime dad, normal but not average, percherons, vegetarian. 1869_________ LOVELY LADY, I WILL TREAT YOU SWEETLY. Val Kilmar look-a-like, 26,

enjoys outdoors, movies, Dave Matthews 81 slow dancing. ISO slender, attractive, affectionate, 20-26, goddess for friendship and possible LTR. 1849

THIS FROG NEEDS A LOT OF KISSING, but there's a handsome man in there somewhere. 34 YO musician, good listener, great hands, very friendly grin, seeks love, but will settle for good conversation. Sense of humor a must

A so k w q u x m m

ACTIVE? LOVE THE OUTDOORS? INTO

hiking, biking, swimming, kayaking/ canoeing, climbing, skiing? Want to meet new friends? Gay women’s out door social network forming in the Burlington/Plattsburgh region. Singles/couples. 2021______________ CARING, LOVING, FRIENDLY, KIND,

warm, wonderful women out there to become great friends & maybe more in time. Those wonderful women, I can’t wait to hear from! 2017

A o s k in q m m

me e t i n g t he r i ght p e r s o n is good

5’io ”, 175 lbs., runner, gym rat, profes sional, humorous, great conversational ist ISO good man, 29-42, with sound mind in sound body 81 able to love. 2029_______________________________ GWM, 40S, 6', 165 LBS., STRAIGHTacting, muscular, lean, always outdoors hiking, biking, swimming. Educated, traveled, loves hobbies and home life. Kind, gentle, shy 81 sensitive. Yearns to share life w/ compatible soul. NS/ND. 2010

40 ISN'T FATAL GWM, 40, NEW TO VT. Interests include athletics, fine and applied arts, travel, fine food. Seeking similar-minded for fun, friendship, relationship. Dog lover a plus. 2012______ BIRTHDAY BOY. ISO Bi/STRAIGHT-ACTING WM w/ birthday June 5, i070-’77.

2003_______________________________ GWM, 3 3 , LAID-BACK, DOG-LOVING, 6’,

170 lbs., bl./br., goatee, workboots and jeans type, workaholic, warm and sense of humor. Seeking cutie with a great personality. Be out, NS, ND, posi tive outlook and love to laugh. Modesty preferred over arrogance. 2015 TIE ME UP, TIE ME DOWN! Submissive Ctrl. VT GWM, 40s, 5’n ”, 190 lbs. Balding, bearded, hairy-chested, light smoker (but won’t if you don’t like it) and drinker (ditto) seeks dominant men of any affectional preference for creative, intense, limit-stretching encounters. All scenes considered. All replies answered. 1947_______________ BiWM, 40 , 5 *7 *, 150 LBS., SEEKING BiBM for erotic encounters. Does sugar and spice sound good to you? I think I saw you in a video and want to meet

you- 1995_________________ GWM, 25 , ISO MEN WHO ENJOY pho tography and/or hockey, camping, hik ing, traveling, animals. Not interested in relationship or encounters, just con necting with men of similar interests. Burlington 81 beyond. 1996

, s d jD J

Personal of the Week wins dinner for two at

R8» • Rotlsserie Chicken & Morel 4 p.m. — 10 p.m. 1110 Shelburne Rd., So. Burlington 651-8774 (at Cosmos Dine}

Winner also receives a gift certificate for 2 free one-day rentals from

D e a r Lola, y o u w ere grea t w h en y o u f ir s t b eg a n , b u t th is

Mine skates • bicycles 85 Main St, Burlington

658-3313

p in g . The h a r d w a r e sto re a d v ic e

th e g u y

CENTRAh/SOUTHERN AREA MALE SEEKS

in s e a r c h

Bi/straight male, very discreet, no commitment/relationship. Uniform preferred, but not necessary. Age/looks unimpor tant. I’m 51, 6’, 195 lbs., clean & discreet. 1940__________________________ CTRL VT MaBiM, 38 , ATHLETIC OUTdoorsman with sense of humor, seeks in-shape friend who appreciates great legs and the wilds of VT. 1955________

w a s v e r y d isa p p o in tin g .

WM, 30 , 5 ’io", 170 LBS., SEARCHING

for a fun, attractive man, 27-33. 1 hike, blade, ski 81 work out. What do you do? If you fit the bill, call. 1978 CURIOUS CABIN BOY. WM SEEKING single or couples to fulfill a fantasy. 18, shaggy brown hair, fun, cute, sort of shy, but craving a good time. Glum bum, discreet. 1935__________________ BiM, s'f>w, 150 LBS., ISO Q/BiM FOR explorations of mind, body & soul. NS, ND, no HIV or diseases; an open mind w/ healthy, trim body between 25-45. Middlebury area. 1899________________ BiWM, 45 , 5 ’ 8 ", 150 LBS., SEEKS other

Bi/GM for friendship and fun. Must be clean and safe. Burlington area. 1921 DIFFERENT GM, 40 , ISO MIDDLE-AGED,

a s e x sh o p

R e c o m m e n d in g a s h r in k to r th e w o m a n w ith d c m in a n t / s u b m is s iv e fa n t a s ie s is u n f o r t u n a te. D o m in a n ce a n d s u b m is s io n a r e s e x u a l o rie n ta tio n s a n d life s t y le ch o ices m u ch lik e gay, bi o r traits. R ea l d o m in a n c e is n o t a b o u t v io le n c e o r a b u s e . It is a b o u t e m o tio n a l gro w th a n d s p ir i tu a l e x p lo r a tio n b e tw e e n m u tu a lly c o n s e n tin g p a r tn e r s . W hy n o t r e c o m m e n d th a t sh e

short, balding, average guy. I want to meet someone real for a change. 1879

s e t o u t to f in d h e r tru e

NO ONE EVER REMEMBERS why they’re

s e l f ? H ow c a n th a t b e

in the personals! Listen for what’s between us; not like I’ve never heard this one before. Dare ya... Panting gay. 1881 OLD SPIRIT, YOUNG AT HEART! 28,

6’4”, 190 lbs., long brown hair, blue eyes, vegetarian, decaf, non-drinking pipe smoker, actor seeks masculine G/BiM, 18-30, w/ similar interests to share Mark Twain, John Irving, laughter 8. Karma-raderie. 1850________________ GWM, 26 , ISO FUN 81 GOOD TIMES, possible LTR. Me: 6’4”, br./br., smoker. You: just plain nice. 1851

p o litic a lly in c o r r e c t ? A P le a s u r e D cm in B u rlin g to n D e a r Dom, Do y o u r e a lly m e a n to tell m e y o u ’v e n e v e r fo u n d a sin g le h a r d w a r e -s t o r e p r o d u c t th a t m igh t d o u b le y o u r d cm p le a s u r e ? Go b a c k a n d

WE ARE INTERESTED IN SHARING.

Dynamic couple (he: 46, she: 34) inter ested in other couples for the explo ration of social and sensual pursuits. 2026 SHALL WE DANCE? F ISO COMPETENT

dance partner. Already have home part ner. GM also OK. Swinging on the dance floor only can be a lot of fun. 2044 _____________________________ WM, 44 , WANTS TO MEET MASSIVE bodybuilders who are body proud and into mirror exhibitionism. I am passive. Discretion a must. 2031

ta k e a n o t h e r lo ck a t th o se h o ses a n d d u c t ta p e . Then le t ’s h a v e th a t little c h a t a b o u t s e x u a l d o m in a n c e a n d e m o tio n a l g ro w th — b u t le a v e y o u r s p ir it u a lg ro w th toys a t h om e, if y o u d o n ’t m in d .

J E

n o w !

900-370-7127 $ 1 .9 9 M u st be

p a g e

c o lu m n is r e a lly s lip

2027

A MAN'S MAN, CUTE, CUDDLY, FIT, 40,

o v s. m

MID-LIFE TRAVELER W/ DOG & CANOE,

somewhat forlorn that Seinfeld’s gone, yet reruns appear. ISO woman, 37-47, w/ adornment from writer, teacher, gardener w/ feet to dance. 1857_________ SWPCM, 3 5 , SEEKS SWPCF FOR friend ship, maybe more. I love life, music, food, stimulating conversation. I am a baseball 81 basketball fan and love my family and friends. 1858______________ SPWM, 42 , $ ’ 9 ", 215 LBS., ENJOYS dancing, camping, movies, dining, cud dling and who knows how to treat and respect a lady. 1863_________________ WITH A HEART OF GOLD. ROMANTIC engaging, successful, handsome, very fit. Simply single, 42, intelligently seek ing a really special relationship. Must be earthy, attractive w/ many interests, maturity and wit. 1865_______________

Scorpio i960, 5’8”, fiction writer, per former, business owner, sexy (if I do say so myself), ISO wonderfully selfassured, intellectually and artistically active woman who loves life, adven ture, healthy codependence and occa sional silliness. Why the personals? Synchronicity! Letter preferred. 1874

C a ll

L cm

a m in u te . 18 or o ld e r.

SEVEN DAYS

Se p t e mb e r

1998

-7127

to respond to a personal ad call l-Q O O m

l A jlL f

Seal your response in an envelope, write box # on the outside and place in another envelope with $5 for each response. Address to: PERSON TO PERSON c/o SEVEN DAYS, P.O. Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402

WWIF, 5 ’ 2 ” , SWEET, EASY-GOING. BEEN through love & hurt, but still opti mistic, seeking M who likes to laugh 8t can see the happiness life has to offer. Box 333_____________________________ MNT. WOMAN, MULTIFARIOUS AS THE

earth, free as the wind, undauntable, uninhibited, youthful, healthy, naturally attractive DWF, 49, ND, ISO kindred spirit, shared awareness. Focus: LTR w/ S/DWM, 40+. ND. Box 322____________ VIBRANT, WARM, ADVENTUROUS SWF,

39. The earth is a source of my spiritu ality & sustenance; happiest when out doors, gardening, hiking, biking, kayak ing, canoeing. Seeking best friend and partner, 35-45- Box 319_______________ TIRED OF BEING ALONE? ME TOO!

Attractive SWF, 49, full-figured, educat ed, ISO WM, 44-60, to share music, dancing, outdoors, quiet evenings, cud dling, LTR. You won’t regret responding. Box 320

# # # # # •

We’re open 24 hours a day!

$1.99 a minute, must be 18 or older.

HANNAFORDS, THURS. 8 /6 , 7:45 P-M. Gorgeous girl in red dress, we figured out why you carry a lighter... If the great vibes were mutual, please call! 2018_______________________________ JOHN, WE SPOKE BRIEFLY AT VT PUB &

SI A A

To respond to Letters Only ads:

lady,” missed the call-in deadline.Should I write? Are you still interested in a “nice American gentleman?” 2042

1 a i i

BiCURIOUS MaWM SEEKS SECURE,

•

ATTENTION BOX 1805 : “ NICE RUSSIAN

MaCU for discreet, adult encounters. Professional, NS/ND, clean & healthy. You be same. 19 9 7______________ _ _ BiWMACU SEEKING BIBM. We are very eager, curious, intrigued and excited about meeting you and adding a little color and excitement to our lives. 1934 WILLING TO SERVE. SWM, 46, ISO Fs, any age. Hobbies include nude house cleaning, cooking, nude lawn work, swimming, videos & exhibitionism. Not shy, enjoy performing & having photo taken, very keen to serve. Will try light domination, or just show it off. 1913

well-built, seeks attractive F, any age, who has yet to live out her fantasies. Discretion assured. Let’s talk. 1994

•

ing Ms, Fs or CUs, 18-35, for fun. We won’t know if we don’t try. Discretion a must. No mail, please. No strings. Just fun. 1920 ,

8/10 or 8/u ? SHELBURNE RD., 4 P.M. You: small red pick-up with wooden flatbed, handsome GWM, drove by and caught my eye, about to cross at Ferguson Ave. by KFC. Me: GWM, khaki shorts, red beard. 2024______________ CHESTNUT-CROWNED HIKER, # 1772 , I answered your tweet ad, but never heard back. Check out my plumage and fly away with me! 2025___________ 8/ 22 , BIKE PATH, ABOUT 11:30 A.M. Me: mtn. bike w/ friend. You: dark hair, wearing black, very attractive female Rollerblading, said “Hi,” twice. Call me? Wanna meet. 2030________ __________ PRICE CHOPPER, SHELBURNE RD.. 8/26, 9:30 P.M. Our eyes locked. I felt the chemistry. We could not talk because you were with others. I was in a sun dress. Let’s meet. Please call. 2039

TALL, HANDSOME WM, MUSCULAR,

SOMETHING NEW. Attractive SWM seek

MIDDLE-AGED MALE SEEKING FEMALE

massage partner for relaxing sessions. If candle light, music, and good con versation sounds good, don’t be bash ful. you rub my back and I’ll rub yours!

ITS ALL RELATIVE. Important to me: honesty, sensitivity, artistic, sense of humor, intelligence, spontaneity, Enya, pasta, daisies, friends, depth. ISO LTR w/ similar NS, 40-50. 2 out of 3 ain’t bad. 5’8", 137 lbs. Box 314__________ HOLE IN ONE. Attractive, fit, 4oish DWPF seeks M willing to assist novice golfer. He is over 45, younger than 63, responsible, secure, not stuck in sand traps. A love for life. Box 310

GENTLEMAN SEEKS GENTLE WOMAN.

Can you complete: “wary, as if there were dangers on all four sides; majes tic in appearance; yielding like ice on the verge of melting; . .T Box 337 QUASI-RHYTHMIC MUNCHING/ A WET

kernel of corn adheres where you sweetly kissed me/ Retrieved by the point of my tongue. SWM, 28, seeks SWF, 25-35. Box 335_________________ SOULFUL, INTELLIGENT, WAR/W, WITH

sense of humor, DWM, 41, 6’i ”, slender, enjoys conversation, nature, art, (real) intimacy. The days remain warm while the nights grow cooler, marking the time of late bloomers. Come as you are. Box 338

Brewery, 8/6. We even talked about the personals. I hope you read this one. Call me to talk more. Susan. 1993 BANK STREET, 7/13 . You: blonde sewer worker. Me: attractive black man. We said, hi. Wish we could have talked. Want to? 1985_______________________

■get your seven days

BOY WITH BIKE. TATTOO UPPER LEFT

back. Came by to fix her fence last week in July. Me: red, white 81 blue. Stop by any time after 9:30 a.m. You know the address! 1942

f^ p e rso n a l

on-line pronto at

■www.sevendaysvt.com.

44 WITH HEAD SPACE SEEKS INTUITIVE dancing partner who can surf life with out crowding the wave. Zen-dough, fresh air kid, of one heart, one-of-akind, one love. Box 339______________ TAKE A HIKE! SWM, 32 , FIT, SEEKS out door adventure in VT on sunny Saturdays, indoors on rainy ones! Seeks fun, intelligent, attractive, fit, 1840. Let’s get lost in the woods together! Box 332_________________________ DWM, 40S, TALL, BROWN/BLUE, ISO shy, calm, courageous other half. Your aesthetics are gracious and orderly, but original. Smoldering interest in a pri vate, ambitious, skilled man with engaging intellect. Box 327___________ I’ LL SHOW YOU MINE IF YOU SHOW ME yours...photo, that is. DWM, mid-40S, tall, fit, lover of nature, travel, the arts and new experiences ISO similar F (age unimportant). Box 324_______________ M SEEKS F, QUIET TIMES, WALK THE

beach, country music?? Nada!! Walk the wild stride! Passionate, romantic, social progressive, futurist desires eco-radical, attractive F, <42. Daring conversation, deep ecology sojourns. Have cool digs. Possible LTR. I’m respectful, committed and not into games! Box 3 1 8 _________ WM, 40S, SEEKS CRAZY LADY WHO will join me in answering “couples” ads. Discretion, cleanliness assured. Box 312

1 JPsA&tin to (P&i&jon

ISO KINDNESS, INTELLIGENCE, purpose, SBF WANTS SF, 40S-60 S. IF YOU WANT

someone to love you, treasure, laugh, cry, care, let’s dance, walk, talk and be together. NS/NA. Box 331_____________ PLUS-SIZE GWF ISO GF WHO LIKES eat ing out, shopping, cats, kids, hiking, Rollerblading & walks for friendship and possibly more. Box 326__________ CAT ISO SEXY KITTEN TO SHARE MORE

than a bowl of milk with. Box 311

MIDLIFE CRISIS AT 30 . NOT TERRIBLY

outgoing or gorgeous, but still nice, Burlington GWM, br./bl., 5’n ”, profes sional w/ wacky hours, NS, light drinker, masculine (I think), adventur ous and fun. Likes travelling, photogra phy, art, working out (not a gym bunny) and chilling out. Sincerity, com passion a must. Not into head cases or games. Would love to find a summer soulmate, but will gladly settle for good friendships. Box 321____________ GWM, 46 , 175 LBS., GOOD SHAPE, ISO GWM, 45-55, to hang out, get to know each other, see what happens. Box 313

humor; a man who understands how integrity is better. ISO a partner in building, living, loving, being. Will answer your letter. Box 315

BIWM SEEKING EROTIC PENPALS FOR

tension relief. Gender, age, race, and looks are far from important. Written expression can be relieving or possibly even, hopefully, an erotic fulfillment. Box 336_____________________________ 50/50. WM, VERY GOOD HEALTH, would like to meet a person or persons with venture, veracity and exorbitance. Why not explore, you might be surprised. Box 330_________ ___________________ WM, 50 , ATTRACTIVE, BUILT, 5 ’io ” , 165

lbs., seeks lady for sexy pen pal and future hot rendezvous. Race, weight, age open. Photo, etc. Box 328

HI, BOX 324 . IF AGE REALLY UNIMPORTANT...DWPF, 55 (looks 53), likes hirel ing, baseball, ballet, exploring (new ideas/back roads), laughs a lot. Avoids jazz, Woody Allen movies, stuffed shirts. Wants to know more about you. Box 334

4 digit box numbers can be contacted either through voice mail or by letter. 3 digit box numbers can only be contacted by letter. Send letter along w/ $5 to PO Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402 LOVE IN CYBERSPACE. POINT YOUR WEB BROWSER TO HTTPV/WWW.SEVENDAYSVT.COM TO SUBM IT YOUR M ESSA GE ON-LINE.

Y o u r

a d

How to place your FREE personal ad with Person to Person • F i l l o u t t h i s f o r m a n d m a il it t o : P e r s o n a l s , P .O . B o x 1 1 6 4 , B u r l i n g t o n , V T 0 5 4 0 2 o r f a x t o 8 0 2 . 8 6 5 . 1 0 1 5 . PLEASE CHECK APPROPRIATE CATEGORY. YOU W IL L RECEIVE YOUR BOX # & PASSCODE BY MAIL. • F i r s t 3 0 w o r d s a r e F R E E w it h p e r s o n t o P e r s o n ( 4 5 w o r d s i f f a x e d / s u b m i t t e d o n - l i n e o n T h u r s d a y ), a d d it io n a l w o r d s a r e 5 0 * e a c h x 4 w e e k s . • F r e e r e t r i e v a l 2 4 h o u r s a d a y t h r o u g h THE PRIVATE 8 0 0 # . (D ETA ILS WILL BE m a i l e d t o y o u w h e n YOU PLACE YOUR AO.) IT’S SAFE, CONFIDENTIAL AND F U N !

How to respond to a personal ad: • CHOOSE YOUR FAVORITE ADS AND NOTE TH EIR BOX NUMBERS.

•C A L L 1 - 9 0 0 - 3 7 0 - 7 1 2 7 FROM A TOUCH-TONE PHONE. F o l l o w i n g t h e v o ic e p r o m p t s , p u n c h in t h e 4 - d i g i t b o x # o f t h e a d y o u w i s h TO RESPON D TO, OR YOU MAY BROW SE A SPE C IFIC CATEGORY. CA LLS COST $ 1 . 9 9 PER M INUTE. YOU MUST BE OVER 1 8 YEARS OLD.

Confidential information (W E N E E D T H IS T O R U N Y O U R A D )

PERSONAL AD

N a m e _____ Ad d r ess, C it y ______ Z ip

STA TE. P hone

A d s w it h a 3 - d ig i t b o x # c a n b e c o n t a c t e d t h r o u g h t h e m a il . SEA L YOUR R E SPO N SE IN AN EN VELO PE, W RITE THE BOX # ON THE OUTSIDE a n d p l a c e in a n o t h e r ENVELOPE WITH $ 5 FOR EACH r e s p o n s e . Ad d r e ss to : B o x # ____, P .O . B o x 1 1 6 4 , B u r l i n g t o n , V T 0 5 4 0 2 .

(45 if faxed/emailed Thursday)

Ifr a d E X C E E D S 3 0 W O R D S , S E N D $ . 5 0 P E R E X T R A W O R D X 4 W E E K S

Four FREE weeks for: W OM EN S E E K IN G M EN M EN S E E K I N G W OM EN W om en s e e k in g W om Men S e e k in g Men

< n - PERSON TO S u id k u n k s :

September

SEEKING _ .J ADDRESS _ YEARS OF AG SBI TO P

SSKY ,

1998

SEVEN DAYS

Two FREE weeks for: I SPY OTHER

□

CH EC K H E R E IF Y O U ’D P R E F E R “ Letter s O nly”

page

10AM-8PM FRIDAY SATURDAY 12PM-5PM SUNDAY

' jn

RAEDERRIOES/PONTE SHOOTS

WENEEDTOMAKEROOMFORTHETONSOF 99 PRODOCT THATS FLOODING OUR STORE EACH DAY SO WE RE DUMPING ALL OUR 98 STUFF FOR 50% OFF THE ORIGINAL PRICE AND ALL OUR PRE-â&#x20AC;&#x2122;98 STUFF FOR 75% OFF THE ORIGINAL PRICE. RESIDE THAT, WE RE OFFERING GREAT DEALS ONEVERYTHING ELSE IN THE STORE, INCLUDING $50 FOR ANY PAIR OF INLINESKATES. FIFTY DOLLARS! THESE PRICESARE ONLY GOODTHIS WEEKEND, SO GET HERE EARLYFORTHE REST DEALS.