ask THE JOHNS
Image by Candace Ann Photography
Yes, all three of these guys are named John. Yes it was a popular name in the ’80s (I’m sure you feel their pain all you Katies, Michaels and Jessicas). But these three gentlemen, when not slaving away at Worlds of Warcraft, are here to answer every question you throw at them. They’re suave, sort of hip and are here for you. The identity of these three amigos have been altered to protect the innocent. 1.) My friend keeps venting to me about her rude boyfriend and tells us stories that literally make our mouths drop. Then the next day she tells us they are back together and are fine. Can I put my foot down? -Annoyed
with someone else, she must first believe that she is a worthwhile person.
JP: I think you are entitled to say whatever you want since your friend tells you everything he/she wants.
JP: It’s due to a chemical imbalance in the cerebral cortex that causes the neurotransmitters to send incorrect impulses across a synapse. I’m pretty sure that made no sense. Sorry, Josh.
JW: This is better than going to the movies! Why would you want to stop a one man show that comes to you!? JT: No, because she will never see it as a problem until she realizes it is a problem. She has grown numb to his abusive behavior and now she has become content with it. In order for her to take control of this situation she has to first recognize it on her own. Once she sees it as a problem, it is then up to her to decide whether or not to change it (not you). Instead of saying something about her relationship, just continue to be her friend and go above and beyond to constantly remind her of the fact that she is a great friend and person. She needs to know what it feels like to have someone tell her that she is special, even if it comes from you. If she wants to have a worthwhile re l a t i o n s h i p 34 | May 2010
2.) I caught my girlfriend going through my Facebook account. Why are girls crazy? -Josh, 22
JW: Because girls are girls and if they weren’t crazy they wouldn’t be girls. On a side note, get one of those fingerprint scan password computers. Or just don’t ‘poke’ girls on Facebook. JT: You need to figure out why she is so interested in going through your account without you knowing. Does she not trust you? Does she have a reason for not trusting you? Or is she just crazy? You need to sit down with her and ask her. And if you see this relationship going anywhere, then you both should be able to trust one another enough to
let the other go through your accounts. As they say, if you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to worry about. 3.) I was so excited for a trip with my girlfriends when I heard our dramatic friend is going as well. She always ruins everything with drama. Is there anything I can do to help prevent it, or is my trip screwed? -Help JP: I don’t think you should let a dramatic friend ruin a whole trip, otherwise you might be the dramatic one. JW: Ugh. Take a vote, majority rules. If it were me that friend would be left at home. JT: I think there is only one way to prevent drama; avoid the people that cause it. If she creates this much drama, you need to ask yourself why you are friends with her in the first place? Nevertheless, she is already going on this trip so you will have to deal with her one last time (hopefully). But if she starts stirring up drama on the trip, simply ignore her and walk away. If you stay and try to reason with her, you are only adding fuel to the fire.
Have a question for the Johns? Shoot an e-mail their way at TheJohns@605magazine.com.
Disclaimer: Ask the Johns is a sarcastic piece. Their advice is not meant to be taken literally… except maybe John T’s.